Good job!
Hi! Johnny Utah.
Your 9 o'clock appointment is here.
Special Agent John Utah,
day number one in LA. Welcome aboard.
- Your record's impressive.
- Thank you.
You may have been
in the top 2% of your class at Quantico...
...but out here you have exactly
zero hours of experience in the field.
You know nothing,
in fact, less than nothing.
If you knew you knew nothing,
that'd be something, but you don't.
Yes, sir.
- You eat a solid breakfast?
- Sir?
All food groups, avoiding caffeine, sugar?
I like my people to be fit. We don't drink
and we sure as hell don't smoke!
- Sir, I take the skin off chicken.
- Good man!
This is us - Bank Robbery.
You are now
in the world's bank robbery capital.
1,322 last year in LA County.
Up 26% from the year before.
That's correct.
We nailed over 1,000 of them.
Miss Deer,
take a look at that for me. Thank you.
D'you know
how we nail the bad guys, Utah?
By crunching data,
good crime-scene work, good lab work...
...and, most importantly,
good data-based analysis.
Special Agent Utah,
are you receiving my signal?
Zero distortion, sir.
I love these things.
You're a real blue-flame special, son:
Young, dumb and full of cum. I know.
What I don't know is how you got yourself
assigned out here to LA with us.
I mean, hell...
...I guess we must have
ourselves an asshole shortage, huh?
Not so far.
OK...
- Pappas?
- Yeah?
Put on the blindfold. I want to see you
retrieve at least two bricks off the bottom.
One...
...two.
I've been in the field 22 years...
...I've fired my piece
over 19 times in the line of duty.
I got no idea what a blind man fetching
bricks from the bottom of the pool...
...has got to do with being a special agent.
Added to which indignity, I have been
saddled with a blue-flame Quantico cat!
Some quarterback punk.
Johnny Unitas or something.
- The shit they pull, huh?
- Yeah!
Hey, Angie? Here's your guy!
What?
Uh... Pappas. Angelo Pappas.
Punk. Quarterback punk.
Hm.
Welcome to SeaWorld, kid.
Good luck, Pappas.
Two bricks, comin' up.
Little hand says it's time to rock and roll.
- Everybody freeze!
- Nobody move! Hands up and eyes down!
Back away from the counters!
Hands on your heads now!
Everybody, onto the floor!
Move it! Move it!
- Now! Get down!
- What's the matter with you people?
You, outta the cubicle. Get outta my way!
Back away and get your fuckin' hands up!
Hey, what's the matter with you?
You got earwax?
Back away! Keep your hands
where I can see 'em! Hands up!
Hello, hello, ladies and gentlemen.
We are the Ex-Presidents!
We need just a few moments of your time.
We've been screwing you for years,
so a few more seconds shouldn't matter!
On the floor, asshole! The money's
insured so it's not worth dying for!
How you doin', Dick?
Implementing our personal plan
of deregulation, Mr President!
Time, Mr Carter!
Sixty!
- LBJ?
- We're stylin'!
Oh, Ron, I got Nancy on the line!
Air Force One is waiting, Mr President.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Get your hands
where I can fuckin' see 'em! Thank you.
Thank you very much.
And, please, don't forget to vote!
I'm not a crook!
27 banks in three years.
God. In and out in 90 seconds!
No-one ever gets shot.
Now, what are we talking about here?
We're talking about solid professionals!
Good moves.
Yeah, they control the room well
and they stick strictly to the cash drawers.
They don't go for the vault?
No. They never go for the vault.
They never get greedy.
Smart. You burn time in the vault.
Reagan usually does the driving.
Stolen switch car, they leave it running.
It looks parked from a distance.
When they run,
they dump the vehicle and they vanish.
Like a virgin on prom night.
I mean, they vanish! Pshht!
Surgical.
Look at them separate the dye pack.
Dick and Ronnie know their jobs.
The Ex-Presidents
are the best I've ever seen.
Any time you two've finished jerking off,
watching MTV, we need to see the tapes.
Pappas, you tell the kid
your theory on the Presidents?
Just take the tapes and go, Babbit.
Hang ten, Pappas. Like totally rad, dude!
I tell ya, the department loves it.
What's he talking about, Angelo?
- Found the drop car on Mulholland Drive.
- We'll go work it.
Oh, no!
Angelo?
Come on!
Thank you. We'll go work it.
Good.
Excuse me.
I'm working a fuckin' drop car!
I don't believe it. Working a drop car!
Pappas - what a hard-on!
- Keep away from there.
- All right.
This car doesn't have AC.
Today was a scorcher.
Sweat secretions in the seatbacks.
Are you through, Mr Wizard?
Let me know if you find Jimmy Hoffa
under the seat while you're at it!
Oh, look at this!
It's 7.30. The night is still young.
The way you're going, you'll be able
to solve this case and start another one.
Drop car, my ass! Goddamn!
You been working Bank Robbery,
what, 22 years?
Yeah, 22 years.
LA has changed a lot during that time.
The air got dirty and the sex got clean.
A guy with that much time in
must have a theory about these guys.
Leave it alone, Johnny.
OK, fine, you've given up, fine.
It doesn't mean I have to.
Hey! Listen, forget about it, kid.
They are ghosts.
Of course. If you couldn't crack it
with all your years of experience...
...it's impossible to think
I might have something to offer!
Maybe I can do better
than an over-the-hill burnout.
Watch your mouth!
Maybe you should just retire, get some
rent-a-cop nightjob and tell 'Nam stories!
Listen! I was taking shrapnel in 'Nam
while you were crapping in your hands!
- You mad?
- Yeah, I'm mad.
Good and mad?
- Yeah. What you wanna do about it?
- Feels good, like you're still alive?
Yeah!
Well, since you're still alive
and you're not in the box just yet...
...why don't you tell me this theory
of yours and we'll go get these guys?
OK, hotshot.
You wanna nail the bank robbers
and be a big hero?
- Definitely!
- Definitely.
Then here it is.
The Ex-Presidents...
...are surfers.
Surfers.
Surfers.
It's in our face.
Look at the tan line on this guy.
Oh, well, he must be a surfer!
Well, yeah.
Last year, Nixon scuffs the counter
when he's going over...
...so there is a soil sample.
Non-specific mud.
Traces of asphalt, traces of oil.
Traces of sand. Carnuba wax.
So I become a wax expert.
Now, there's 80-some uses for this stuff.
Something like 500 products.
Candle wax, car wax, moustache wax.
Could be anything.
Guy's waxing his moustache
at the beach, gets sand in it...
...takes it off with a shoe.
Shoe scuffs the counter...
Would you just shut up a minute!
Listen! Maybe you'll learn something.
The lab gave us three possible matches.
This is one of them.
- Sex Wax!
- Yeah.
You're not into kinky shit, are you?
Not yet! Surfers use this.
They rub it on their boards for traction.
Thanks for the tip.
You're welcome for the tip.
Here's another.
Check out the dates on these robberies.
It's strictly a summerjob for these idiots.
Four months.
June to October.
- Same the year before.
- That's right. We have one more month.
We won't see 'em till next summer.
They're traveling on the money,
going where the waves are.
That's right!
The Ex-Presidents rip off banks
to finance their endless summer!
Whoa!
Hey, man,
a lot of guys your age are learning to surf.
- It's cool. There's nothing wrong in it.
- I'm 25.
That's what I'm saying. It's never too late.
Hope you stick with it.
Surfing's the source.
It can change your life.
Why can't I just walk around
with this thing under my arm...
...and act stoned, ask a few questions?
Well...
...look.
Look at 'em.
They're like some kinda tribe.
They got their own language.
You cant just walk up to those guys.
You gotta get out there, learn the moves,
get into their head, pick up the speech.
You saying
the FBI is going to pay me to learn to surf?
It's either you or me on the board.
Get my drift?
This is for rubber people
who don't shave yet.
Come on. You're the quarterback jock.
It's all balance, right? And co-ordination.
How hard can it be?
Hold on!
Hold on.
Use your arms. Paddle. Come on!
It's all right. Come on. You're OK.
You crazy son of a bitch.
You wanna commit suicide,
you do it someplace else!
This pig-board piece of shit!
You got no business out here whatsoever!
Hey!
My name's Johnny Utah!
Who cares?!
That is your surfing contact?
"Female, blue eyes, black hair...
...five foot six, 119 pounds."
God, Utah!
Not bad, Utah!
Tyler Ann Endicott, born 27.11.64.
Exhibition of speed...
... indecent exposure
inside moving vehicle...
Hot, very hot!
What else they got on her?
I still haven't found anything I can use.
I gotta find an approach. A way in.
Here we go!
Both parents deceased.
Aeroplane crash, San Diego, '84.
Yeah.
Definitely.
See ya later.
Next?
What do you want?
Shrimp and fries.
I mean, what do you want?
Why d'you keep hanging around?
I need you to teach me.
Gimme a break. Shrimp and fries...
...to go!
Would you like
something to drink with that, sir?
- I'm serious!
- I can see that you're serious. Forget it.
Stick to... tennis.
I don't know, whatever you do good.
Miniature golf. Your number's 37.
You don't understand.
I'm gonna learn to surf or break my neck.
What is it? You all of a sudden got this bug
that you just have to go surfing?
This is a line, right?
No! No.
See...
My whole life
I've done things for other people.
In high school I played football
because my old man expected me to.
Mm-hm.
Then my parents
always figured I'd go to law school.
So I did. Football scholarship.
- Is this gonna take a long time?
- Wait.
So I'm a big hero to my folks, right?
But two years ago
they were killed in a car wreck.
You can't imagine it.
Your whole life changes.
And I suddenly realized
that all my goals had been their goals...
...and I hadn't been living my own life,
so I wanted something for myself.
So I come out here
from Ohio a month ago.
I'd never seen the ocean before. Any ocean.
I never thought
it would affect me so much.
I'm drawn to it.
Or something.
I want to do what you do.
It's the truth.
All right.
OK. Tomorrow.
Here.
If you are one minute late, I'm gone.
And, stud,
I didn't take you on to raise, so...
...I'll teach you a few things and then
after that you'll be on your own, OK?
God!
Stop here.
You agree to do
exactly what I say when I say it?
Sure.
Pop!
Pop!
You stand straight up,
you'll just fall over, so let's try it again.
Start over. Just do it again.
Hey! What ya doin'?
Just do it again. Pop up.
Stay low, you're gonna bite it.
You dragged your knee. You'll wipe out.
You're dragging your foot,
you're gonna be fish food.
Both feet have to land
on the board at the same time.
That's it. That's it. You're surfing.
Shit!
Doing all right, city boy!
Whoo!
You are surfing!
That's Bodhi.
They call him the Bodhisattva.
He's a modern savage.
He's a real searcher.
- What's he searching for?
- The ride! The ultimate ride.
The guy's even crazier than you, Johnny.
Hey!
Heads up!
Hey!
Put me down!
Uh, we know each other.
That's a... a surf board, all right.
Looks like a '57 Chevy I used to have!
Tyler, come here.
So, who's the guy? You replace me?
Give me a break. Where you been?
He surfs real well
Come on!
He's from Kansas or something.
- He's from Kansas?
- Heads up!
Yeah!
Good catch.
Ready!
Set!
Hut! Hut! Go, let's go, go!
Hut!
Hut!
Hut!
Whose ball is it? Who wants it?
Hut!
Get him!
Get him!
Ready!
Set!
Hut!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Don't you think that's a little out of line?
- Cool it, Roach. Know who this is?
- No, I don't!
This is Johnny Utah, Ohio State Buckeyes,
all conference. Remember?
Number 9, how ya doing?
Jesus Christ! Johnny fuckin' Utah!
Sorry, man. Didn't mean to get in ya face!
I knew I knew you. It was the Rose Bowl.
Three years ago you beat SC.
- You? You did this?
- Yep, him!
- That was one hell of a game.
- No shit.
Yeah, but you got nuked in the last quarter.
Yeah, I got my knee folded back
about 90 degrees the wrong way!
- Whoa! That's why you never went pro?
- Two years of surgery, missed my window.
Went to law school instead.
Law school! You're a lawyer?
Wow!
Well, life's not over yet, man.
You're surfing.
- Lawyers don't surf!
- This one does.
Let's play some football!
Special Agent Utah, this is not some job
flipping burgers at the local drive-in!
Yes, the surfboard bothers me.
Yes, your approach
to this whole damn case bothers me.
And, yes, YOU BOTHER ME!
And, Pappas, for the love of Christ...
...just how the hell did I ever let you
talk me into this boneheaded idea?
Harp, we're working undercover.
It takes time. We've produced...
No, no, no, no!
Let me tell you what you've produced.
Over the last two weeks
you two have produced exactly squat.
SQUAT!
During which time the Ex-Presidents
have robbed two more banks!
Now, for Christ's sake...
...does either one of you have anything
even remotely interesting to tell me?
Caught my first tube this morning... sir!
Goddamn it!
Why didn't you leave that thing in the car?
It sticks out so I can't lock it.
Anyway, what's his problem?
We're handling our caseload.
- I'm surfing on my own time.
- I know, just don't rub Harp's nose in it.
You think I joined the FBI to learn to surf?
This was your lame idea.
You gotta back me up on this.
Johnny, we better
come up with something real quick.
- My friend...
- What?
Encino Savings and Loan.
Guard grabbed LBJ's ponytail.
One fucking hair.
Angelo, pay attention.
There's gonna be a test afterward.
Lab is showing traces of toxins
in the hair. Selenium, titanium, arsenic.
Beaches are always being closed
because of waste spills.
And surfers are territorial.
They stick mostly to certain breaks.
If we can get hair samples
and get a match at a certain beach...
...we'd know
which break the Ex-Presidents surf.
You buying this?
No!
No.
But let's do it, anyway.
It will bug the shit out of Harp.
- My man!
- Yeah!
Hey! When you two are done
making out, I need to talk to you.
- What's this? Narco entrapment, dude?
- Not exactly, dude.
Shit.
Making a wig for my girlfriend.
Thank you.
Fuckin' guy's a narc, man.
Dude cut my hair!
So what? He didn't bust us.
He fuckin' cut my hair!
Hey, don't move! Got some huge sucker
crawling right into your ear!
Got it!
Leave some fuckin' hair, man!
What is it?
Saved your life, bro. Close one!
PCBs, selenium, titanium, arsenic.
The percentages look right.
Here's a match.
- There's a match?
- Latigo Beach.
Nice point break. Long workable rides.
Surf's up, Ace!
Stay off my wave!
Goons trying to drop in.
Paddle! Paddle! Paddle!
Out of the way, you shit!
Hey!
You dinged my board!
Why don't you watch
where the fuck you're going!
Politeness counts, asshole!
Go back to the Valley, man!
Angelo, I've eaten shit 47 times and got
my lights punched out by some psycho.
There must be 20 guys here with ponytails.
Patience, hotshot. Patience.
It'll be subtle, if it's here at all.
They'll be a group within the group.
These guys are a real tight unit.
You'll see 'em, you'll know it.
This the guy?
Yeah.
OK...
...I know.
This is where you tell me
all about how locals rule...
...and yuppie insects like me
shouldn't be surfing your break, right?
Nope!
That would be a waste of time.
We're just gonna fuck you up.
Oh.
Johnny, are you there?
You better not
be trying to pick up any babes!
Hit him! Yeah! Harder! Yeah!
Back off! He's with me!
Kiss my ass!
Back off. Seriously.
Thank you.
Stay out of this, Bodhi.
What's your name?
Bunker.
Bunker. Well, listen, Bunker.
I'm actually really glad you found me.
Yeah, why?
Shit!
Come on!
This is stimulating,
but we're outta here. Let's go, Utah.
Just keep walking.
Oh!? Uh... Oh! OK
You two guys seen a kid
run through here with a car stereo?
He stole it from me.
No, but there's four guys
back there you might wanna check out!
Thanks, buddy!
- Hope you find him.
- Don't worry, I will.
You like to start shit, don't you?
Who are those guys?
Nazi assholes.
The guy you dropped is Bunker Weiss...
...the big one is War Child,
AKA Lupton Pitman.
And the other two think they're
some kind of death squad around here.
What's their programme?
Brains are wired wrong,
they're into bad shit.
Like what? Illegal shit?
Maybe, I don't know.
That's not what I'm talking about.
They only live to get radical.
They don't understand the sea,
so they'll never get the spiritual side of it.
You're not gonna
start chanting or anything, are ya?!
I might!
This is me.
So, uh, you still haven't figured out
what riding waves is all about, have you?
It's a state of mind.
It's that place
where you lose yourself and find yourself.
You don't know it yet, but you've got it.
I saw you with those guys, you're a pit bull.
They didn't back you down an inch.
- And that is very rare in this world.
- Thanks for stepping in.
De nada! Later!
Oh, hey. I'm having some people over
at my house tonight if you wanna come.
Sure. Where?
- Come with Tyler. She knows.
- All right.
Next time you leave your piece
and shield in the car, stay in sight! OK?
OK, Dad.
Yeah, I need you to run a plate for me.
Two Denver four Sam
niner five niner, late-Seventies Jeep.
The jeep belongs to a Bunker Weiss,
my buddy. Guy's got quite a sheet.
Yeah. Skip all that.
Give me the greatest hits.
Felony: Possession of cocaine - good.
Felony: B&E - three months in juvey.
Felony: Assault - postgraduate work
at Chino. Excellent! I'm loving it!
These guys really fit the profile.
I say we lay it on Harp.
Here comes the night shift.
This is bullshit. This is a bullshit lead.
This is totally bullshit.
Harp must be fuckin' desperate
if he's listening to you two flakes.
See you bright and early, guys.
Yeah, right
Cold pizza for you.
It's good for breakfast. See you.
When did Harp say
we'd get the warrant?
First thing. Get some sleep.
This could be an interesting morning.
- Hey!
- Hey, Bodhi.
I taught him that trick.
I like it!
Watch yourself. She's a wild one.
Make yourself at home.
What's mine is yours.
Man, it jacks up.
You drop down into the pit.
It's 25 feet straight down...
...and your balls, man,
your balls are about this big.
And the whole thing's fuckin' roaring.
Pushing you forward,
like you're on a freight train or something.
Yeah, and if you lose it,
the fish'll be picking you out of the coral.
Big-wave riding's
for macho assholes with a death wish.
No, it's not. It's the ultimate rush.
There's nothing that comes close to it.
Not even sex.
Maybe that's cos
you're not doing it right, Roach.
Just paddling out
in a big surf is total commitment.
You cant just call time-out
if you don't like the way things are going.
So, what's biggest? Waimea?
- Ridden?
- Yeah.
McCaha.
Dana Point.
Bells Beach, Australia.
No way Bells is bigger than Waimea, bro.
It will be next year.
Bodhi believes the 50-year storm
is coming next year.
That's kind of a legend.
No, it's real. It's absolutely real.
Everything moves in cycles...
...so twice a century the ocean
let's us know just how small we really are.
A storm comes out of Antarctica,
tearing up the Pacific...
...and it sends
a huge swell north 2,000 miles.
And when it hits Bells Beach it'll turn into
the biggest surf this planet has ever seen.
And I will be there.
So will I.
If you want the ultimate,
you gotta be willing to pay the ultimate price.
It's not tragic to die doing what you love.
It's how I want to go.
I ain't gonna live to see 30!
There's too much testosterone here!
Bunch of goddamn adrenaline junkies.
Hope you're not buying into this banzai
bullshit like the rest of Bodhi's moonies!
What are you talking about?
You've got
that kamikaze look, Johnny. I've seen it.
Bodhi can smell it a mile away.
He'll take you to the edge.
Past it.
- Hey, Bodhi.
- Johnny has his own demons. Don't you?
What's going on?
Here. A stealth mission. You up for it?
- Let's do it!
- Let's go!
I can barely do this in broad daylight!
Come on. At least
nobody's gonna see how bad you are.
- I don't think he's ready for this.
- He'll be fine.
Shit!
Shit! Shit!
Fuck!
I gotta be fuckin' crazy!
But are you crazy enough?
Yaaaaaa-hoooooo!
Whooooo-hooooo!
Can't see shit out here. I'm gonna die.
Feel what the wave is doing,
then accept its energy.
Get in sync, then charge with it.
- You don't need to see.
- Yeah. Vision is overrated
OK, Johnny, this one's got your number on it.
Let's jam! Now paddle!
Shit! I'm gonna die now.
I'm gonna fuckin' die now.
Fuck!
Whoo! You're surfing, man!
Whaaaaaaaah!
I'm fuckin' surfin'!
Yeah!
Check it out!
Is this not the best feeling on earth?
Yeah!
Whoo!
Good break, Johnny.
All right!
Yeah.
- Looks like we lost somebody!
- Yeah, leave the fire for them.
You wanna get something to eat?
- I'm dying.
- I'm starving.
Where's my clothes?
You seen my clothes?
Had enough?
Yeah.
I just wanna sit out here for a minute.
Look at you.
What?
Usually you have this intense sort of
scowl of concentration on your face...
...like you're doing all this
for a school project or something.
Or like you've got something driving you.
Look - it's gone.
If I didn't know better...
...I'd say you looked almost happy.
I can't describe what I'm feeling.
You don't have to.
Goose bumps.
Yeah, it's cold.
Come here.
Holy shit!
- What?
- Shit!
I'm really late.
I'm really late!
Holy shit!
Shit! Oh, SHIT!
I'm really late.
You guys need any help?
I can't believe you're late
to your own raid! What a flake!
Has that worthless
punk partner of mine shown up?
- Right here.
- Good of you to show up, hotshot
Ow! You're gonna tear my skin!
I'm ready to rock, Angelo.
Where d'you want me?
Here's how it is.
Babbit and Alvarez are gonna go in the
back door. Cullen's gonna back me up.
I want you at the side window.
You're strictly back-up. I don't wanna
burn your cover. You got that?
- Got it.
- Good.
Now take your position. It's show time.
Go.
Asshole!
Scooby? Come on, Scooby.
Scooby, where are you?
- Seen a dog?
- No, man.
No dog? Scooby, come on.
Here, Scooby? Scooby?
What the fu...?
Get your gun.
There's someone at the front door! Now!
Yeah, what?
Oh... hi! Oh! Have you seen my dog?
It's a cockapoo-like thing.
I don't know anything about your dog.
Wait!
Cullen, this is Utah. Get Angelo out.
They're pulling out a fuckin' arsenal.
Utah, repeat, say again.
Cullen, you copy?
Cullen? Alvarez?
Don't let him pull his badge.
Fuck! I can't hear jack shit
over the lawnmower. Christ!
Something's going down, man.
This ain't right.
Chill the fuck out, man. It's nothing.
Will you shut the fuck up!
Check the windows, bro, do it!
... and the little bastard ran off.
- I know nothing about a fuckin' dog!
- Hide the shit!
- You sure it's not in the back yard?
- I ain't got time for this!
There's two guys out the back!
Duck down.
Oh, shit! Shit! We're fucked!
That fuck comes through the door,
I'm gonna pump him up, man.
- You sure he's not in the back?
- He ain't back here.
- Anybody else around who's seen him?
- Get the fuck outta my face!
FBI, gorgeous!
FBI, DROP IT!
Fuck you!
Fuckin' pigs!
No, wait! Hey...
Get off... motherfucker!
Shut up!
- You motherfuckers!
- Shut up, I said!
Dumb motherfuckers!
I'm coming out right now!
Back up! Back up!
Let me go! Let me go!
Bastard!
- Babbit?
- You fuckers!
Speak into the microphone, squid brain!
Fuck!
- Gimme your hand.
- Fuck you!
Gimme your other hand.
There you go. You OK?
Fuck!
Oooh! God!
No! Ow!
Don't touch it!
It's been paper targets up until today, huh?
It's no different, Johnny.
Just a little more to clean up.
You did all right today.
You did real good.
Goddamn son of a bitch!
You're real cowboys, right!
Batman and Robin!
You know what this is, huh?
Know what this is, punk?
It's two kees, uncut, crystal meth.
Oh, shit!
Special Agent Utah,
I'd like you to meet Agent Dietz.
Works for the DEA.
He was working deep cover until...
You think I like this hair, man? Huh?
You think I like these clothes?
My wife wants me to stay at Ramada.
I've been working on these fuckers
for three months! THREE MONTHS!
I finally got 'em to play Wheel Of Fortune
with me so I can find out their supplier...
...and you fuckin' cowboys show up.
- Nice tattoo, Dietz.
You like that, Pappas? Fuck you.
He has a record of your suspects'
movements over the last three months.
All I wanna know, smart guy, is
how did they rob a bank on August 2nd...
...when they were
in Fort fuckin' Lauderdale August 2nd?
- Why don't you figure that out?
- It's not an easy thing to do, is it, Utah?
You fuckin' jerks!
Aw, shit!
Shit!
Hey! Five foot wall's at Zero's. Let's go.
Hey, Tyler.
Hey, Bodhi!
So, let's go!
Time's a-wasting.
- Now!
- He does this.
You all right?
You look like you saw a ghost.
Forget about it, kid. They're ghosts.
I gotta go.
You gotta what?
I forgot all about a meeting
I have this morning.
I gotta jam. Sorry. Really.
I'll call you later.
So, I started trailing him.
The Zen surf master?
Bodhi, yeah. I'm on him all day, right?
He goes to Tower Records, buys some
CDs, has lunch at Patrick's Roadhouse...
...he goes into the Assured Trust
Savings and Loan.
Did he rob it?
Cute! He's inside 20 minutes.
The other guy, Roach, waited in the truck.
They were scoping it out, right?
Well, they were scoping it out
or cashing a cheque.
Wait. Then they go back home
and they box up all their shit.
See, summer's over.
They load it in Bodhi's truck
and they take it to a public storage unit.
I lost them after that, but the house
is empty. They're definitely outta here.
Goddamn it! Why didn't you call me?
They're probably halfway to Maui.
Uh-uh, no. They've got to pick up
some traveling money first.
Assured Trust tomorrow, next day latest.
I definitely got a feeling on this.
Last time you had a feeling,
I had to kill a guy.
I hate that. It looks bad on my report.
Angelo, I'm right this time.
We can still win this one.
OK.
Tomorrow morning, first thing,
we'll be at the bank like stink on shit.
This Calvin and Hobbes is funny.
Oranges, sir?
- You want some oranges?
- No.
No. We got a lot. No, thanks. Good luck.
God!
... for his turkey cemetery?!
It's time for lunch.
Angelo, it's 10.30!
Around that corner is a sandwich shop.
They sell meatball sandwiches.
Best I've ever tasted.
Would you go get me two?
Come on, partner. Two.
Thank you.
Utah? Get me two.
Hi. How ya doing?
Hi. Two meatball sandwiches, a tuna
on wheat and two lemonades, please.
OK, that's two meatballs,
one tuna on wheat...
... two lemonades. That's $7.84.
- Thank you.
- Uh-huh.
Oh, boy!
God, you scared me!
Here.
Yours is the one that looks like a road kill.
A road kill?
- Enjoy.
- Thank you very much.
- Here's your lemonade.
- Thanks.
Did you see that Lincoln pull up?
I'm so hungry I could eat the ass
off a dead rhino. I should've asked for three.
What Lincoln?
Goddamn!
FBI! Freeze!
I got him! I got him!
No!
Freeze!
Fuck!
Get in! Get in!
- Jesus Christ!
- Go! Go!
Go!
Gimme a fuckin' break! I am going!
- I don't see 'em! Where'd they go?
- I don't fuckin' believe this!
We're losing 'em!
- You're losing 'em!
- I'm not!
Over to the right!
- It's coming up.
- Punch it! Punch it! Punch it!
- Where is he, Dick?
- He's still behind us.
Hang on, you guys.
This car's a piece of shit.
Oh, shit!
They're on the left!
- I think we lost 'em. I can't see 'em.
- Tell me where he is.
Oh, fuck. Watch out!
- We got you!
- You ain't got shit!
Damn it! Come on, come on!
OK, guys, emergency sanitation.
Back up, buddy! Try it, man. Just try it.
What about the old Chevy?
- This guy down here.
- I got him. I got the gun.
- Get away from the car! Move it!
- Get in.
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't do it, man. Don't be stupid. Run!
Why's he taking so long?
Come on!
We gotta go now! What's his problem?
Come on!
- Let's go!
- Oh! Shit!
Fuck!
Look out!
Hey!
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE!
WHAT D'YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
HEY! HEY! HEY!
Say again, 41.
Roger that.
Cal. Plate - 562, Sam, Ida, X-ray. Base out.
Nothing?
Nothing.
Johnny,
I wanna see you in my office right now.
Unit 23. See the manager, 4650 Wilshire.
I want you to know something.
When you shoot, you don't miss.
I missed.
No. I believe you're either scared...
...or you're getting too goddamn close
to this surfing guru buddy of yours.
I don't believe you're scared.
Hey, go home and get some rest.
You look like hammered shit.
If I get anything
that resembles your boy, I'll beep you.
Now go home.
Damn!
What's the other guy look like?
Never saw him. It was a basic hit-and-run.
You look like you got in a train wreck.
Stupid jerk just kept driving?
Ouch! Baby, I'm sorry.
Johnny, what is it with you?
You've got that look again.
As if you're about
to tell me something and then you don't.
Or you can't.
There's something I want to tell you.
It's important. It could
really affect things between you and me.
Man!
This is harder than I thought.
God, men are so bad at this.
Shhh. Some other time.
- You act like nothing happened!
- Relax, Nathanial.
Don't tell me to relax, Bodhi!
He's a fucking federal agent!
I should've
shot him when I had the chance.
I'll deal with that fuckin' cop.
No, Rosie.
We have hit 30 banks in three years
and they haven't been able to touch us.
All this does is up the stakes of the game.
Fuck the stakes, Bodhi! The only person
this is a game to is you. This is real!
This is serious shit and I am scared. OK?
So I say we get
the fuck outta here now, tonight, OK?
You run, you die.
Come on, think about it.
This was never about money for us.
It was about us against the system.
That system that kills the human spirit.
We stand for something.
To those dead souls inching along
the freeways in their metal coffins...
...we show them
that the human spirit is still alive.
So, you trust me?
OK.
Then don't worry about this guy.
I know exactly what to do with him.
A lawyer!
You lied to me!
Tyler, put the gun down.
I bet you lied about everything.
I bet you lied about your parents!
You just tell me the truth, Johnny.
Did your parents die in a car accident?
DID THEY?!
They live in Columbus, Ohio.
I work Bank Robbery. The guys I'm after
are surfers. I needed you at first...
...but after that...
- Fuck you!
Don't you have a soul?
Goddamn you to hell!
Tyler...
TYLER, WAIT!
TYLER!
- Leave a message.
- Tyler, look, I fucked up. OK?
I know I fucked up.
I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't.
I was afraid you'd leave.
Good guess, huh?
Fuck!
Why can't I ever say what I really mean?
I lied to you.
I'm an asshole, but I need you, Tyler.
I want you to know I've never known
anyone like you before in my life...
... and I hope you change your mind.
Tyler, wait. I'm coming.
Howdy, bro.
So, come on, we're rollin'.
What's going on, Bodhi?
What happened?
Cut yourself shaving?
I don't think I wanna surf right now.
Surf? No, this is really different, Johnny,
you are gonna love it.
So, we gotta get your stuff
and get outta here.
OK. Uh, socks...
...shirt.
Uh... boots. Here we go.
OK, put the stuff on in the truck.
We gotta go. Life is short.
You are gonna love this!
Yo!
All right, let's unload.
- Take this, too.
- Thank you, sir. There you go.
Ever done this before?
No, but I've seen it on TV.
It's 100% pure adrenaline.
Other guys snort for it, jab a vein for it.
All you gotta do is jump.
I'm sure it's a blast,
but I screwed my knee up yesterday.
Yeah, I noticed you limping, but don't
worry cos we're not gonna land on land.
Well, fine then. I feel so much better
OK, let's fly.
Three minutes.
This is a ceremony we always do at the end
of the summer. One last speed star.
By the way, you might wanna
pull that little orange thing sometime.
The life you save may be your own.
So, uh... who packed my chute?
I did. Why? You don't trust me?
You gotta earn trust.
OK, we'll earn it together. Here, take mine.
Hey, Johnny, that's not a good idea.
Bodhi's packs are pretty shitty.
They only open about half the time.
Less!
Bullshit.
Why don't you take
young Grommet's? How'd that be?
Nah, you don't want this one, man.
This one's set for a neck-breaker.
You'd probably
be better off with something like this.
Are we gonna jump or jerk off?
That's my man!
Let's do it!
You're about to jump out of a perfectly
good aeroplane. How you feel about that?
Shit! Whoa, shit!
Whoa-ho-ho!
Sex with the gods!
You can't beat this!
This is fucking beautiful!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Ha-ha!
Whew!
Whoa! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Hah!
Come on, Johnny.
That's it, Johnny. Go for it.
Come on, Johnny!
You can do it. Come on!
Use your arms. Fly like an eagle, baby.
Whoo!
Keep coming.
All right!
- Johnny, you did it.
- You're a speed star.
We're going like a bat out o' hell.
Whoo!
How do you like it, Johnny?
Amazing.
Fucking amazing!
This is so beautiful.
I love this ground-rush shit.
OK. Break!
Great, isn't it?
You're doing good.
A thousand feet, pull.
After you, Alphonse. I insist.
Pull the ripcord now.
You first.
OK!
Son of a bitch!
Jesus Christ.
I gotta be losing it.
It's the closest you'll ever get to God.
It's like the palm of your hand, man.
Zoom! Coming right at you.
- Unbelievable.
- Totally indescribable.
- We did pull pretty low.
- You'll never be the same again.
- Didn't I tell you Johnny'd be just fine?
- Yeah. Damn perf!
Johnny, just drop your chute right there.
Pack off your shoulders.
- Step back out of it.
- I'll pack that for you, Bodhi.
OK. Thanks.
Johnny, come here.
There's something you need to see.
Hop in.
OK.
What's this?
This is an insurance policy.
It will sting a bit,
but it's for your own growth. Press play.
Fuck you!
FUCK YOU!
She is a wild one,
isn't she, Special Agent Utah?
You're a fuckin' dead man!
Hold it, man. Think it through, man.
I'm the only one that knows where she is.
I'm the only one...
...so let me talk. Let me talk.
Talk.
She'll be fine. Rosie won't do anything...
...as long as I meet him
at a certain place and time in six hours.
You call him right now
and tell him to let her go!
Sorry, I can't do it, bro.
They're on the road...
...and where they're going,
there are no phones, so you are outta luck.
Oh, man.
I hate this, Johnny. I really do.
I hate violence.
That's why I need Rosie.
I could never do that.
I could never hold a knife to Tyler's throat.
She was my woman.
We shared time.
But Rosie is a... mechanism, you know?
Once you set him in motion,
he will not stop.
He's, like, got this gift of blankness.
But when three o'clock comes
he will gut her like a pig...
...and try not to get any on his shoes.
There's nothing
I can do about it unless I get there.
So I guess that makes us partners...
...because we both have the same goal:
To get me where I need to go, right?
We're wasting time.
That's what I love about you, Johnny.
You are just as sharp as a razor.
Murphy, take the plane
down to Santa Monica, top up the tanks.
- OK, you guys, it's party time. Move it!
- Right. We're on it.
All I'm asking for
is 90 seconds of your life, Johnny.
You see? It's basic dog psychology.
If you scare them and get them
peeing down their leg, they submit.
Yet if you project weakness, you draw
aggression. That's how people get hurt.
You see, fear causes hesitation...
...and hesitation
will cause your worst fears to come true.
So it's simple.
You project strength to avoid conflict.
Peace through superior firepower.
Oh...
There. Can't have you walking through
those doors with your dick in your hand.
I can't do this.
Sure you can.
Who knows?
You might like it. It's a killer rush.
Bodhi,
this is your fuckin' wake-up call, man!
I am an FBI agent!
I know, man. Isn't it wild?
But that's what makes it great, Johnny.
We can exist on a different plane,
we can make our own rules.
Why be a servant to the law
when you can be its master?
Fuckin' A!
I love this fuckin' job.
OK, 90 seconds, door to door.
It's a small price to pay
for someone who loves you.
She does, you know?
It's not her style to fall so hard.
I don't think she did with me.
OK, Mr Carter.
LBJ.
Mr Nixon.
Well, sorry, Johnny.
Looks like you don't get to be president!
I'm ready.
Rock and roll!
Everybody freeze!
- OK. On the floor now!
- On the floor right now! Do it.
Hold it! Where you going?
Everybody down! Let's go!
On the floor, asshole!
I'll blow out your fuckin' kneecaps,
then you'll be on the floor.
A kick in the ass, ain't it, man?
Hey, look. You're on TV. Smile.
Could be a little hard to play FBI now, huh?
Can we just get the goddamned money
and get out of here!
Nobody move. Heads down, eyes down.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
May I have your attention, please?
We are the Ex-Presidents and, as you can
see, we are, in fact, robbing your bank.
So with a little co-operation
I won't have to blow your heads off.
So I need just a couple of minutes
of your lives and we're gone.
Dick, go to the vault.
Uh... you, Miss Jennings, would you be a
dear and open the gate for my associate?
Mr Duggan's got the keys.
We never go to the vault!
Just do it!
Lyndon, go with them.
Get in the vault, man. Go! Go!
Who's Mr fuckin' Duggan?!
Mr Duggan, do you wanna
open the vault or do you want me to do it?
Do whatever they want, Teri.
Take the fucking keys! Take 'em!
Move it!
Open the damned door!
I'll fuckin' blow
your fuckin' head off! Move it!
Come on! Come on!
Get outta the way!
OK. All right.
Go for the big bag.
What we doin' in a fuckin' vault?!
This is a bad idea.
On the ground. Don't look at me!
You're blowing it, man. You're breaking
your own rules and pulling too much time.
Jimmy, how we doing?
Don't worry, man, it's fine. It's great.
Fuck! Fuck!
Hurry up!
Let's go, we gotta go!
Fuckin' move!
Federal agent. Undercover!
Nobody fuckin' move!
You OK? Hang on, little bro.
Come on,
we are outta here. We are outta here.
Hang on, little brother. Just hang on, man.
No, man. No!
Are you outta your fuckin' mind?
What's the matter with you?! Is that what
you want? Did you get what you wanted?
You can't take him with. LET'S GO!
Goddamn it, who's in charge of this
camera crew? This is a crime-scene area!
Get 'em the fuck outta here!
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say, can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
If you so desire, an attorney
will be provided for you, free of cost.
Do you understand
these rights I've just given you, Utah?
D'you understand! Understand
the rights I've just read you, Utah?!
He understands his goddamned rights!
Jesus Christ, kid, are you OK?
Stand up. Get these cuffs off him.
Leave 'em on! Your partner's
an accessory to murder, you understand?
There are three dead people.
One's a police officer.
Let me show you something, pal.
How does that sit in your stomach?
Take your hands off me right now.
Come on.
Listen, look at me. Look at me!
Don't send him in
with the black and whites, let me ride him in.
Yeah, sure, Angelo, why not?
That's why
I put you two together to begin with.
You deserve each other.
You're just as bad as he is...
...only you're a little fatter,
slower and more pathetic.
It's like the blind leading the blind.
Harp, I was in this Bureau when you were
still popping zits on your funny face...
...and jackin' off to the lingerie section
of the Sears catalogue!
Is that right, Pappas?
Yes, that's right, and there's one thing
I've learnt that you still haven't got.
Oh, yeah?
Why don't you astonish me, shit face?
Respect for my elders, plain and simple.
- Come on, kid, let's go.
- Holy shit.
I know where they're going.
I figured you did.
Santa Monica airport. Fast!
But we've got one minor problem.
What?
We can't arrest them or shoot them.
What?!
Did you set the altimeter?
- One thousand.
- What?
One thousand.
Check the rigging, OK?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Fuckin' FBI.
I'm not armed.
But you're not alone.
Good guess.
There's a gun on you right now.
Where's Roach?
He's around somewhere.
Listen, Johnny, we are in kind of a hurry.
What do you need?
You gotta tell me where she is.
And let my policy expire? Good idea.
Look, Bodhi, people are dead.
The ride is over.
Oh, no, no. I say when it's over.
The guy you killed was an off-duty cop.
They'll nail you wherever you land.
There's a new thing called radar.
Maybe you've heard of it.
What is your...
Nathanial, get in there.
Get back in the cockpit. Move!
I know you, man.
When they fall on you,
you won't back down.
They'll have to burn your ass to the ground!
Uh-huh. And shit happens.
Look, you got a death wish, fine,
but don't take Tyler with you.
I'm begging you.
Tell me where she is, then I walk away.
You walk away?
I walk away.
That is beautiful, Johnny.
ANGELO, DON'T FIRE!
THEY'LL KILL HER. NO!
Get out of the way, kid! Goddamn it!
Damn.
NOOOOO!
Jesus Christ!
- Angelo.
- I don't have much...
- Come on, man, just hang on.
- I really fucked up.
Just hang on. You'll be all right.
I'm not flying you guys to San Felipe.
- Get in the plane. Start those engines.
- Good Tell him where we're going.
Let's go, man.
We are gonna ride this all the way, Johnny,
you and me. So let's go.
Get the fuck up! Tyler's waiting.
Start the engines now!
Go!
GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!
Rosie? Yo, Rosie, this is Air Force One.
Do you read me? Do you read me? Over.
Look, we've been
over Mexico for the last half-hour.
Can I quit mowing the lawn here?
Getting more bushes
in the wheels than I usually like.
Shut your mouth and take it
to 4,000 feet on this heading, all right?
I don't think that's such a good idea, man.
We'll pop up on their screens.
Doesn't matter, we're almost there.
Just gotta get you to a safe jump altitude.
Let's get your rig on.
Hey, man, I'm cold. Really cold.
I'll get your jacket.
Here's your jacket. Easy.
Oh, fuck!
I know, I know, I know.
Easy. Easy. One arm at a time.
I can't get it, I can't get it.
No, man! No, no, no!
Johnny, throw me that money bag.
NOW!
You're cold because all the blood
is running out of your body, Roach.
You're going to be dead soon.
I hope it was worth it.
Don't listen to him, he's just scared.
Just keep thinking about
all those seoritas and margaritas...
...that are
gonna nurse you back to health, OK?
What the fuck are you looking at?
There you go.
Rosie! Rosie, this is Air Force One.
Do you copy? Do you copy? Over.
Copy. We have a visual on you.
Tell him to release Tyler.
Do it! Do it now!
You won, you got what you wanted.
What if your chute fails?
Cancel the order.
She's served her purpose.
Do it, man. You owe me that much.
- OK, you ready?
- Yeah.
On three.
One, two... three.
Easy. Come on, a little more.
- Get your chute clear. OK?
- OK.
I'll see you on the ground, all right?
I'll see you in hell, Johnny.
Oh!
I know it's hard for you. You want me
so bad it's like acid in your mouth...
...but not this time.
Adios, amigo.
Fucker!
God! Wha...?
- Pull the chute, Bodhi.
- You are crazy.
- Pull the fuckin' chute!
- Why don't you pull it?
No games, Bodhi! Pull the cord now!
Nah, you pull it.
Go ahead, Johnny, pull it.
You gotta drop the gun, right?
If you use your other hand,
what you gonna hold on with?
Pull it right now, or I blow
your fuckin' head off and pull it myself.
- It's the only way it's gonna happen. Do it.
- Swear to God, I will.
Do it, man, or you're gonna die, Johnny.
Six seconds,
we're gonna be meat waffles.
Five... four...
- You're fuckin' crazy! PULL IT! PULL IT!
...three... two...
...one...
- Shit!
Shit!
Jesus Christ, Bodhi.
God.
Damn, you are one radical son of a bitch.
I'm outta here, Johnny.
That knee again, huh?
Too bad. Looks like
this time you won't be getting your man.
This game we both lose.
Let her go.
Let her go!
Johnny, I...
Shh. Some other time.
Come on, we're out of here.
Yo, Johnny!
I'll see you in the next life!
I can't leave him. We gotta bury him.
There's no time, man.
... the cyclone warning is for coastal
areas between Torquay and Cape Ottway.
Experts are saying this could be one of
the worst storms in Australia's history.
Heavy rains will continue into the night...
... with destructive winds
reaching up to 150km per hour.
The centre of the cyclone
is now expected to cross the coast...
... at Bells Beach early tomorrow morning.
Residents are advised
to prepare for evacuation.
What d'you wanna do now?
I wanna get out of this wet. I'm freezing.
Sorry, mate.
Anybody been out there?
No-one's been out and no-one's going out.
You gotta be fucking crazy, man.
Death-on-a-stick out there, mate.
Coming down, man.
Lose something, bro?
Special Agent Utah.
I knew I could count on you.
I've been to every city in Mexico.
Came across an unclaimed piece
of meat in Baja, turned out to be Rosie.
Guess he picked
a knife fight with somebody better.
Found a passport of yours in Sumatra,
missed you by about a week in Fiji.
But I knew
you wouldn't miss a 50-year storm, Bodhi.
Yeah.
Too bad. You finally get your waves
and it's totally closed out.
Just waiting for my set.
You gotta go down.
You crossed the line
and people trusted you and they died.
Yeah, it went bad, went real bad.
Life sure has a sick sense of humour,
doesn't it?
- Still surfing?
- Every day.
Come on, Bodhi. It's time to go.
You know you gotta go back with me.
Sorry, my friend.
Come on!
SHIT! NO!
NO!
I told them...
...you'd go quietly.
NO!
You know
there's no way I can handle a cage, man.
I don't care. You gotta go down.
It's gotta be that way.
OK, man. OK.
I'm screwed.
I'm gonna go to jail and I'll pay,
and Johnny Utah gets his guy. Right?
Good for you. That's real good.
You're gonna be a big hero now.
But look at it, Johnny. Look at it!
This is
a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, man.
Just let me go out there, let me get
one wave before you take me. One wave.
Where am I gonna go, man?
Cliffs on both side.
I'm not gonna paddle to New Zealand!
My whole life
has been about this moment, Johnny.
Come on, compadre.
Come on.
COME ON!
Via con Dios!
What the fuck, Utah?
You let him go!
No, I didn't.
No way! The guy's nuts.
We'll get him when he comes back in.
He's not coming back.