1
When I saw you at the dig,
and then on the train,
I just knew I would see you
again at the caf.
Yeah, me too.
And the main thing is,
it's like I know
everything that
you're gonna say,
and I know you know everything
that I'm gonna say
before either one of us
has said it,
and I feel like nothing about
this could have gone wrong.
Like every word we are
saying to each other
and every gesture
we make
has to be exactly
just the way it is.
And I'll tell you
the really freaky part.
Mm-hmm?
It doesn't feel
like a matter of choice.
Hello?
Hello, Leonor.
Hello, Jake.
Jake?
What do you think?
Nice.
Jake?
I put a new mattress
on your bed.
Thanks.
Take care of your back.
Jake?
Jake?
So what did you order?
Soup. Caldo verde.
Mmm. It's healthy.
Yes. I eat healthy.
I exercise.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
How much?
I run four times a week.
Quite a distance.
You don't take care
of yourself?
No.
I, uh...
I eat anything.
Okay.
If it's not
rude of me to ask,
how old are you?
Thirty-two.
How old are you?
Twenty-six.
Oh.
An older woman,
younger man thing.
No, that's bullshit.
Yes, I agree.
Ol.
Man, I'll kick you in the head!
Hey!
What's up?
Buy me a drink.
- Buy me a drink.
- Hey.
- I fucking know you.
- Leave the girls alone.
Okay, okay, okay.
All right.
You know me. You know me.
Buy me a drink.
Come on.
I don't live for my work.
I'll take any job
that I can get.
I did farm work one time,
which was exhausting.
So, you are not ambitious,
but what do you do
when you are not working
or picking up older women?
Um...
I like to read.
I also like to go to clubs
and listen to music.
Just the same...
stupid, boring stuff
that everybody does.
Do you think
your life's boring?
Well, I'm not
going around Portugal
on a university-backed
degree program.
Hmm.
Well,
it took me a while to get here.
I know people your age who have
a better degree than mine.
Can I ask you
about your last boyfriend?
Hey, boy.
Hey, my boy. Hey.
Obrigado.
Come on. Come.
For my
advanced archaeology degree,
I picked classics.
And my classics professor
happened to be on leave
from Porto University
to the Sorbonne,
where I was a student.
And we got together.
He wants to get married
and have a family.
But freedom
is important to me.
I understand.
I understand completely.
Please, keep touching me.
Do you feel
like you know me?
Not yet.
Well, there's still time.
Time hasn't run out.
Yeah, right.
It's so stupid.
Uh, hi.
Hi.
Pleased to meet you.
Joo.
Jake.
Give me that.
There's no light in the fridge.
So, will you join us
for dinner?
Sure.
Good.
I hope
you like tapas.
So...
how do you know each other?
Okay. Next question.
What do you do?
Jake was working on a dig site
yesterday when we met.
Mmm.
The dig site.
I love dig sites.
And how do you
end up here?
It doesn't matter.
Mati told me about you
last night.
Hmm.
And what did she said?
Just that you exist.
Oh.
That's very flattering.
There was a little
bit more to it than that.
Yeah. I guess so.
Hmm.
Sorry. Will you excuse me
for a moment? Yeah?
Schmitt.
Anda.
Hey!
Hey.
Schmitty, anda.
I had a great time
the other night.
Yeah.
Me too.
I tried to call you.
Yeah, I know.
I've been busy.
Come here.
No.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Stay.
- Please.
Please let me go.
Wait.
I don't understand.
It's like you're
a different person, Mati.
Go home, okay?
I'll call you when
I'm not busy.
- I promise.
- When?
Come here, Mati.
- I really miss you.
- Stop.
Do you understand?
I really miss you.
Don't.
No. Stop!
Mati...
Mati?
Mati. Let me come in
and talk to you.
- Go away!
- Please?
Please?
You can go.
I don't have to stay here?
You want
to stay here?
Go. And don't try
to see her again.
She doesn't want
to see you.
She said that?
That's it for now.
Madeleine,
that's enough, I said.
Stop!
My love,
go do your homework.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm here for Madeleine, okay?
Pai!
I missed you.
I missed you too.
- Who was playing the violin?
- Me.
And who has
a present for you?
- You.
- Wow!
Thank you, Daddy.
Mmm. Let's go play
in your room.
This is for you.
I hope you like it.
Respect the rules.
Fuck the rules, Mati, okay?
I was in the neighborhood.
I want to see my daughter.
Yeah, you should have
called me first.
Sorry.
I forgot your number.
Whatever.
Yeah, whatever.
Come in.
How's Madeleine?
- She's well.
- Hmm.
How about a glass
of wine to relax?
Don't you have
any coffee?
No, I'm out of coffee.
You won't find much in there.
I mostly eat out these days.
Come on.
A little Bourgueil.
If I don't have
a choice.
Thank you.
To you.
You should come
more often.
No, I'm fine in Porto.
I have a nice life there.
I'm happy.
I mean it.
You don't look happy.
Mom? Do you still see men?
Yes.
The desire
doesn't fade away?
I'm not talking about
the need for sex,
but the need to be
with someone.
Mmm.
Yes, it's always present.
We're often disappointed,
and then...
you're lonely.
You don't demand much at my age.
The other day,
in a caf,
there were
some gypsy musicians
who offered me champagne...
and invited me to a party,
and I ended up spending
the night with one of them.
Mom, I don't need
to know about that.
Why are you asking me
these questions?
- What's the problem?
- Nothing.
I need
something new.
Listen, you'll be
like me, alone,
and you'll regret it.
I'm surprised
to see you here.
I didn't think
you were gonna...
bring him.
I... told you
about him.
I told you what
he means in my life.
- I can't throw that away.
- I know.
I just thought
we really shared
something last night.
My father...
has been in the diplomatic
service his whole life...
my whole life.
He was stationed in Lisbon
when my sister and I
were in high school,
and... when my parents
wanted to move again,
we just said no.
Why?
When my sister was in college,
she was doing great.
But she fell for this
Portuguese guy, her husband.
And my parents...
really put their foot down.
Because they knew
it meant her
being here
more or less for good.
Her husband wasn't
gonna live anywhere else.
She'd be
out of their control.
So they said,
"You can't marry
this guy."
And she said, "Fuck you.
I am gonna marry this guy."
And so there was
this sort of breach,
and I had to make a choice
and choose sides,
and I chose hers.
Good for you.
It wasn't...
too hard of a decision, really.
My parents' position
was so shitty.
They were like...
like pissy children.
Hmm. But you're healthy.
You were doing pretty tough
physical work this afternoon.
It's nothing
compared to those boxes.
Oh.
Yeah, it's true.
You know I've had that job
for exactly two days?
Yeah. I've had
a million jobs.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What I was saying was...
I don't really live
for my work.
I'll take any job
that I can get.
I've done office work,
temp work, restaurant work.
I did farm work one time,
which was really exhausting.
So, you are not ambitious,
but what do you do
when you are not working
or picking up older women?
Um...
I like to read.
I like Greek epigrams.
I also like to go to clubs
and listen to music.
Just the same...
stupid, boring stuff
that everybody does.
Do you think your life's boring?
Well, I'm not
going around Portugal
on a university-backed
degree program.
Hmm. Well,
it took me a while to get here.
I know people your age
who have
a better degree than mine.
Why did it
take you so long?
Because I was sick.
What was...
I was crazy for a while.
Tell me.
It's not so simple to say.
Try.
It's when you know
there is something you must do,
and you also know,
beyond any doubt,
that it's impossible
for you to do those things.
You feel trapped.
Yeah, to put it mildly.
How did you escape?
I didn't exactly escape.
Hi.
Hi.
Would you care to go
somewhere with me?
I'm Mati. Mati Vargnier.
Jake... Kleeman.
Let's go.
Wait.
I'm crazy.
- What?
- I don't do that.
- Well, we're doing it.
- Yeah, you're right.
I don't know
where we're going.
I live by the river.
Porto's... small.
Yeah.
Well, um, I'm moving into
a new apartment.
Do you think you could
help me to carry some boxes?
So, there are three in the trunk
and two in the back seat.
Show me the heavy ones.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, here.
Oh, Jesus. Fuck.
Excuse me.
Follow me over here.
What do you have in here,
a dead body?
No, books and a few lamps.
Are you okay?
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah?
How'd you find
this place?
Uh, through the university.
- Still good?
- Yeah.
Oh, do you want to rest
and have a glass of water?
No, I want to finish.
I go until I'm stopped.
And I'm never stopped.
Okay.
You okay?
Yeah,
gotta get through this.
Oh, I'm dead.
You killed me.
No.
Not yet.
Sorry.
No!
I never came like that.
- What do you mean?
- So fast.
Like a guy.
How did you like it?
Mmm.
I never...
didn't come like that.
What?
Wait.
- Are you close?
- Yeah, fuck more.
Yeah.
Better?
Better than what?
It was already better.
Oh.
I know. It's ridiculous, right?
I just...
want to keep touching you.
Please...
keep touching me.
I want to kiss.
From the moment
that I saw you at the dig,
there was something to this.
- Something different.
- Yeah.
Oh, I have some wine.
Do you prefer wine?
And then on the train.
First time
was a complete accident.
Second time
is coincidence.
And I knew I would
see you at the caf.
Sant.
It's bad luck to cheers
with water.
Fuck the rules.
You're right.
Fuck the rules.
And the main thing is,
it's like I know everything
that you're gonna say,
and I know you know
everything that I'm gonna say
before either one of us
has said it,
and I feel like nothing about
this could have gone wrong.
And that was true
before it happened.
Like every word
we are saying to each other,
and every gesture
we make
has to be exactly
just the way it is.
And I'll tell you
the really freaky part.
Mm-hmm?
It doesn't feel
like a matter of choice.
I agree.
I don't think
that we can stop this
whether we wanted to or not.
The reason that this
is so real...
is that
we're not doing it.
This is happening to us.
We can choose to
see it or not, deny it or not,
but now that
we have seen it...
it's happening.
You're ready?
Tell me when.
You...
Now.
What is happening?
Do you think
we're gonna die of this?
Does this scare you?
Yes, of course.
'Cause we don't
know what it is.
What is it?
If I had a name for it...
Losing it.
Losing it?
Do you mean
mentally?
Do you think we can
drive ourselves crazy fucking?
Maybe.
But you could also,
say, lose it, like, on a hike.
You know, lose this or
lose that to travel lighter,
to go forward,
move towards
what you were meant to.
Maybe.
But the thing is...
you never know
if what you've lost is...
better than
what you've gained.
- Yeah.
- It's just...
There's no likely result.
But don't you see?
Of course.
There can't be
a likely result.
There shouldn't be.
You're saying that it
can't go on like this, right?
I don't know.
Do you?
I have no idea.
Well, I have no idea
about any of this.
Losing it is as good
as having it.
What does that mean?
It's something I read
in a book some time ago.
About the regular
kind of loss.
I don't remember
who wrote it,
but it was saying that
everything that
is human is lost.
But at the same time,
some lost things can't
be lost, are never lost.
Do you think this can't be lost?
Yes.
You're exhausted.
You need to sleep.
I couldn't sleep right now
if my life depended on it.
Which maybe it does.
I could eat though.
Well, all the late places
around here
stop serving at 1:00,
and it's almost 2:00.
- I know a place.
- Yeah?
Yeah. I don't know if you'll
like it, but they're open.
Where is it?
It's a secret.
Let's not take
a cab home tonight.
Let's walk
for a little bit.
I have something
I want to say.
Please, speak.
I love you.
And I love you.
I'm serious.
I know.
Me too.
I'm not even
trying to love you.
I just... love you.
Do you believe me?
I must be really tired,
because my heart
is beating so fast.
I feel like we're probably
two of the most
tired people
in the world.
You want to sit?
The reason this is real,
is the more real
this is between us,
the more real this is.
Proust says somewhere that...
every lie lovers tell each other
sooner or later becomes true.
I never read Proust.
Doesn't matter.
I... I probably never will.
Never say never.
I have to read him again,
when I'm 50.
I was probably too young.
Never lie to me.
Never.
I don't think I could.
Which is weird.
Because, as a rule,
lying comes
fairly easily to me.
Really?
Yeah, it's a form
of self-defense.
When you're crazy,
you learn how to deal with
the utter dishonesty
of the way people
deal with crazy people.
Later you find that
you can't always
get out of the habit.
I understand.
I don't like lying,
but I guess I lie too.
But don't you know
it would be difficult
for you to lie to me?
Impossible.
And I don't think I would
ever have any reason to.
I think for the first time
in my life,
I know what it feels like
to be happy.
Tsk. Slap.
Let's do it like
a couple in their 80s...
who have been together
for 40 years.
I like that.