Allegra!
How...how do you know her?
That's my girlfriend!
Your what?!
There are two kinds of people
in the world...
the kind who feel with their hearts,
and the kind who feel with their heads.
I was the head-feeling kind,
that's how I got into this mess.
See, I was her girlfriend...
but I was also his girlfriend.
Like everything in my life,
it started with two things:
opera, and me breaking
someone's heart.
This whole exoticizing of the "Orient"
really gets on my nerves.
If the Met thinks this is worth $200 a ticket,
they are sorely mistaken.
Stay awake! Stay awake!
This is Act III... I think.
It's so great! All of us here together
enjoying opera.
I'm so happy right now.
It's mysoginist...
and feminist at the same time.
That's the incredible
thing about it.
I'm not saying Puccini himself
was a feminist or anything, but...
He certainly was not a feminist.
That is funny, Puccini is a feminist!
It's the tension between Turandot's
desire to avenge
the rape of her foremother,
and also to give in to love!
Against her deep fears!
That's the brilliant contradiction,
that's what makes
the piece so compelling!
Allegra...need I remind you that
Calf basically rapes her?
No, he does not rape her!
He does not, he loves her!
He loves her and she cries
for the first time.
Rainbows, and puppy dogs, and lollypops!
Passion!
You defend bad behavior
more than anyone
- I've ever met in my life.
- Someone I know used to like my bad behavior.
They've only been dating three months,
and Nell already wants to move in with her.
They're in love. Why are you making it
sound so pathological?
Because it's pathological to become
attached to the hip after three months.
I like Vivian. She's much better
than Nell's last girlfriend.
- What was her name?
- Flavia.
Flavia!
Right, right, right.
Flavia, Flavia...
Why do you still have your coat on?
I'm not staying.
Oh, come on sweetie! Please,
let's not have this fight again.
Allegra we have to break up.
- What?!
- Yeah.
When was the last time we did anything
together, and not end up in a fight?
- When we have sex.
- No, aside from that! Let's face it, OK?
I hate opera, and I have to look up
half the words that you use, and...
I'm...not a lesbian.
- OK, I just have to tell you one thing.
- What?
- I have a boyfriend.
- What?
- Yeah, I have a boyfriend.
- I don't care.
I can't believe you want to break up
over some stupid little detail
like who's a lesbian and who isn't!
- I saw Jeff.
- What?
Alriiiiiight! I win that one buddy!
He's going to Saint Barts on business
and he wants me to go with him.
Noone goes to Saint Barts
on business, Sam.
He loves me.
Are you saying that...
- You sure you'll use that?
- It's mine.
You're saying that I don't love you?
Well, you know, if you do
you haven't said so.
She's right.
I haven't said "I love you",
but I have a perfectly
logical explanation for it.
I'm only...
I'm still getting to know you.
It's only been nine months!
You can't just love
a person out of the blue.
You know what your problem is?
You're conflicted. Excuse me.
I'm conf...you...you want
to be Jeff's girlfriend
who occasionally sleeps with lesbians,
and you call me conflicted?
I would hardly call being
with you day and night
for six months...ocassional.
Look. Is it the lesbian thing?
Or is it me? Or what?
Can you shut the door, please?
- I wanna know.
- I've already told you.
Tell her again.
Allegra...I'm not a lesbian
and you're not
the right woman for me anyway.
Doesn't anyone realize that
love is a smoke screen
to keep us from facing
the real issues of the world?
Global warming, poverty, famine,
floods, tornadoes, tsunamis, real estate
development...gated communities?
Studies show that being in
a long-term committed
relationship is good for you!
It can even make you live longer.
Who wants to live longer?
I hate being alone.
I'm not the kind of person
who should be by herself!
I was made to be in a relationship.
I'm smart...
attractive...
I published a novel once!
I have a rent stabilized apartment!
I'm narcissistic, passive aggressive,
self absorbed,
and incapable of connecting.
That's it.
From now on,
I'm just gonna be by myself.
The woman voted Republican, that's
when you should have been worried.
I saw it as a challenge.
You always go for all the straight girls,
except for me of course.
How come you never
made a pass at me?
You're right, we're too close.
It would be weird, we've been
best friends for so long, right?
We love each other
enough as it is, don't you think?
I really, really loved being with her.
She's smart, warm, affectionate...
You are gonna meet someone
tonight at this party, that's what.
No. You'll meet someone, Molly.
I hate parties.
Wear that. That looks cute.
You like it? I think
it makes me look a little fat...
Female opression is showing,
but aside from that...you look good.
Allegra, it's time
to reinvent yourself, sweetie.
I need to get some food.
I need some chocolate.
No, don't binge now!
Wait for the party!
Just wait, I'm almost read...
That does look kinda cute, I think.
God! This is fantastic, isn't it?
This kind of view?
It makes you fall in love
with the city all over again.
You think so?
Makes me wanna jump.
Maybe you should take
your sunglasses off.
- I can't, I'm blind.
- No, you're not.
You're not blind!
Hi, Philip Russell.
Allegra Castiglione.
Allegra Castiglione, the writer.
A writer.
"Stuy Town Trouble."
I remember when
your book came out.
You were nominated for
a national book award, right?
Actually, it was
the Book Critic Circle Award.
Oh, great book!
- You read it?
- Yeah, of course I read it.
That part about taking a boat
down the Bosporus at night, right?
And the death scene.
Oh yeah, it was just great.
Sure you didn't just read it 'cause of
the photo they put on the back cover?
Cause now you can see
I don't look like that...
That was a moment of youthful pulchritude,
that is long since passed.
Youthful pulchritude?
Don't ask me what
pulchritude means.
Pulchritude means beauty,
and, no, I was gonna ask
what youthful means.
You seem pretty youthful to me.
That's only because I've had the
same hairstyle since I was eleven.
Hey, you're still here!
I thought you were going to jump...
This is um...
He wrote that book, you know...
"Ancient Bargain." Greg Sheinman.
- Oh, of course! Philip Russell.
- Hi, Phil.
Let's get out of this "nerdness",
and find a real party somewhere?
-No, I don't wanna go, Molly.
- Yeah, you do...yeah you do!
You come too, glasses tweedy boy.
Molly always falls for married men.
My last lover left me for a man...
Her old boyfriend...
Jeff.
Probably they're gonna get married, too.
Marriage makes me sick to my stomach,
makes me wanna...
throw up.
Well, it's a stubborn institution,
like capitalism.
Are you a capitalist?
I'm an assistant professor at Columbia
finishing my dissertation.
So, you're a socialist?
I don't think there are
any socialists anymore.
Do you like opera?
Very much...actually, yes.
- Really?
- Aha.
You're attractive, you know that?
Pulchritudeness?
Are you flirting with me?
Are you flirting with me?
Flirting? Me?
What do you think I am?
You're a man.
I'm a lesbian.
You just read my book, that's all.
You and about...ten other people,
all of them with the same last name.
How about a cab?
What subject?
Philosophy.
- What?
- So sad!
A romantic...
Yeah, let's go. Alright.
Don't you have to be anywhere?
- No. Not tonight, not really.
- Great.
Why don't you come home with me?
I haven't been
with a man in years.
I think maybe you just
go to sleep and pass out.
No, I don't think so.
Don't put me in a cab!
I'm drunk.
When a lesbian propositions you,
you should be flattered,
you should be overjoyed.
Are you married or something?
What are you gonna have, Philip?
I think I'll have a steak,
and...a salad, and mashed potatoes.
That sounds good.
Something, yeah.
I'm gonna be sick.
I didn't throw up on him,
just near him, OK?
My head hurts.
You have a humilliation hangover.
Greg's married, what a schmuck!
I have an audition today,
how do I look?
You look great.
Wait! Is Philip married?
We talked about Kant's
cathegorical imperative.
Uh, you did not! Kant?
That sounds suspicious.
Men are dogs.
- What are you doing today?
- Obsessing over Samantha?
No movies, no bookstores.
Hi. It's me again.
Ticket for one.
Cute blonde in there. Same movie.
Oh, please...
I told you she was cute.
Are you OK?
God, that was really sad!
It was called "Holiday",
for God's sakes!
Totally sad.
- You want a tissue?
- Sure.
Sentimentalists!
I always cry at old movies,
even when they're funny.
- Anything in black and white, I'm a goner.
- Me too.
You know Katherine Hepburn
was considered box-office poison
when this film came out?
Really?
- And "Bringing Up Baby" was a flop.
- It was?
I love that movie!
I don't know why
I'm looking at my watch.
I don't have anywhere to be.
I think your watch is wrong.
It says 10 AM and
it's about 4 PM right now.
See, that's the other thing.
This watch doesn't even work.
That's another reason why
I don't know why I'm looking at it!
Do you wanna get like,
some coffee or something?
Sure! I'd love to.
- I'm Grace, by the way.
- Allegra.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
You don't seem like
an investment banker.
You're not even wearing
a watch that works...
But, do you know about Kaldor's theory
of circular and cumulative causation
and its impact on the global economy?
- No.
- Well, I do.
But...I really wanna be a glass blower.
A glass blower?
You work in what's called a hot shop,
and you have to hold
these long heavy steel rods,
and you put them in a
one billion degree oven,
and then you wind up with this
delicate little thing, like a...
paper weight or something.
You have great hands.
You think so?
Gosh, thanks. I've never really
noticed them before.
I mean, I've noticed them, but
not "noticed", "noticed" them.
My boyfriend never
notices things like that.
I wonder if it's because we've been
together for so long.
Do you have a boyfriend?
No, I had a girlfriend, but...
She...she walked out on me last week.
Are you in love with her?
I thought so, but I didn't say so...
of course, she didn't think so.
People who break up
with me usually are
in my life-long devotion.
Are you flirting with me?
I don't know, probably. I don't know...
I don't meant to, though.
I'm sorry.
Sorry, that was...
a dumb question.
I'm at the studio almost every night...
- the glass studio.
- Yeah.
Sorry about your girlfriend.
Call me, OK?
OK, bye. Thanks.
Please leave a message.
Samantha? Hi.
It's me...
You're
in Saint Barts probably,
frolicking somewhere.
We didn't discuss it! There's just...
Message box full.
One more thing.
If this is Allegra calling
to tell Samantha that
they didn't discuss it,
you DID discuss it.
And, for your information,
she's not frolicking.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Allegra.
- Yeah...Philip?
That's right, yeah.
What are you doing here?
I finished my classes for the day.
So, what about you?
Just writing a book review,
but I have to read the book first.
What a coincidence!
Freud says there are
no coincidences.
Oh, The Odyssey!
Dante's "Inferno", very nice...
"To the Lighthouse."
Martha Stewart's "Entertaining".
Philip Roth, Toni Morrison, Stanley Kunitz.
Philip Roth is a misogynist.
Martha Stewart's "Entertaining"!
I'll buy the first round if you don't tell
anyone about me and Martha.
I'll buy the second if you can think of
something more original
to say about Philip Roth.
- Nell's your ex, right?
- Right, right.
And Nina was the big one
before that. I put her in the novel.
Molly's not an ex.
Oh God, no, no.
Straight as a board.
Samantha is my most recent ex.
I was really close to
getting close with her.
"Close to getting close",
that's not a phrase.
The whole settling down thing,
just makes me crazy.
Why can't people just fall in love,
and when it ends, it ends?
'Cause they have feelings?
Would you like something
to happen with this man?
He's smart, charming,
got a nice set of hair.
Allegra, you're OK?
She asks if we want
some more coffee?
Do you mind
if we get the check?
Yeah, let's go.
So you're unresolved by your
relationship to relationships,
because being committed might result in
some sort of bourgeois complacency.
Committed! Just think about
that word..."committed".
Careful!
I'm unresolved, so...
Well...some people
are very resolved.
Oh yeah? Are you?
I always thought that I was.
Lately, I don't know.
Maybe you need a paradigm shift.
Not that I know how that goes, I've had
the same hair style since I was eleven.
- Yeah, you said that already.
- I did? Oh...
How embarrasing!
Ah, well...
- See ya!
- Yeah, OK.
- I don't...I don't know why I did that.
- I don't know why you did that.
What is it?
Don't be frightened.
- Well.
- Well.
I haven't done that
in about a thousand years.
Have sex?
- Have sex with a man, fool!
- Oh, and...?
Nice.
It's funny what the body
remembers if the mind forgets.
Let's not make a big deal
out of this or anything.
No, I don't make a big deal
about anything!
Good.
This feels like a real clich.
Sleeping with a woman who usually
sleeps with women is a clich?
No, not that part.
Me and my girlfriend have been together
forever, we haven't had sex in months...
and then I have great sex...
and it's with somebody else.
You're a guy...
How long have you been together?
A long time.
You're not married?
No.
So, Charlotte and Kevin are
tying the proverbial knot.
They got together
just a few months before us.
In the History of Medieval Music course.
Right, right, yeah I remember that.
- Why not?
- Well...
What do you mean "why not"?
I don't know, most straight people...
get married after a long relationship.
That seems to be the whole
point of being together.
Well...not all straight people are alike,
you can't generalize.
Really? Why not?
The world generalizes
about lesbians all the time,
is really gonna hurt your
feelings that much?
Well, I won't generalize about you,
if you don't generalize about me.
You have to admit that there are
some things that are just...
true about straight people.
Like what, Allegra?
Like getting married, that is
the straightest notion in the world.
Please...where have you been?
Gay people wanna get married, too.
Look, that's different.
In straight relationships it's always the
long-suffering woman who wants to do it,
and the man who can't make a commitment.
It's always the woman who
wants a "Big Day" in her life,
and the man who acts as
he's about to go to jail.
That's different than the government
telling you that you can't get married
because there's
something wrong with you.
Of course that makes gay people
want to get married!
In that version is transgressive.
It's radical!
In the straight version
it's just bourgeois.
That's the most ridiculous, crass
generalization I've ever heard.
That's completely and utterly specious.
So, what about us, Philip?
What are our plans?
Plans?
We've been together six years.
Five years!
Three years.
A year and a half!
They met in the Psychosexual
History of the Bay of Pigs class.
That's where they...that's where...
Forget it, I'll just have the salad.
Heterosexual hegemony, babe.
Monogamy, marriage,
the biological clock,
property, fidelity,
misionary position...
Thank God, I don't have to
deal with any of that!
Right, your relationships
are completely different.
No pressure, no communication problems,
no acting out, right?
Completely! Are you kidding me?
Lesbian relationships are
totally different.
Just listen to that word, commit!
That's what they do when you go to
an insane asylum! They commit you!
That's ridiculous!
Commitment is the end of high romance
and it's the beginning
of day-to-day closeness.
It's sticking around when
it gets hard, you know?
Is that why you're going back to Jeff?
For the hard parts?
I'm leaving.
You're out of your mind.
Philip, this is a brief encounter,
if you know what I mean.
I do.
So let's make it last as long as we can.
- So, have you heard from Samantha?
- No.
Did you hear from that guy Philip?
Who's Philip?
This really super-attractive guy where
Allegra threw up on after Micky's party!
Why didn't you tell me you
threw up on someone?
It was nothing, just some guy
who read my book.
Someone who read your book?
He read it when it came out,
isn't that so sweet?
- But he's married.
- No, he's not married, he has a girlfriend
he's been with since college.
I thought you haven't seen him.
I'm sorry, how come
I don't know anything about this?
There's nothing to "know" know.
Let's order dessert.
How come you meet the most interesting men,
and you're not even interested in men,
and I love men,
and I never meet anybody?
Very long answer, Molly.
The tiramisu...
- OK, you sound weirdly defensive.
- Defensive?
- You never order tiramisu.
- No, I do not!
I met a woman too.
How is that, sister?
Life is so unfair!
Being alone you're about to confront
all those hideous issues
that get sublimated
when you're in a relationship.
I never sublimate hideous issues in
relationships, I always act them out.
You know that! I did it
when we were together.
That's true.
I can't believe I just lied
to my best friends.
I can't believe I slept with a man!
Well, it's OK.
I'm never gonna see him again.
What do you mean you moved out?
I'm a wreck.
I can't stop thinking about you,
I can't stop...
dreaming about you...
That's hardly enough reason
to change your life!
Isn't it?
Isn't it? Isn't it a sign
I should be following my heart
instead of my head for once?
Isn't living about change?
A paradigm shift?
Jesus Christ!
If I wanted something
like this to happen
I would have had a one night stand
with another woman, not a straight man!
I thought that men wanted
just to get laid and get out!
Isn't that how most men are?
Isn't that how you're supposed to be?
What the hell is wrong with you?
You're attracted to me,
I know you are.
I am, I'm wildly
attracted to you, but...
I'm sure there's a perfectly
good psychoanalitic reason for it.
I'm a lesbian!
Can't you respect the inherent
boundaries that sexual identity requires?
Love has no boundaries.
Philip, give me a break!
Good bye, good luck,
and thanks for everything.
I have two tickets to
"Don Giovanni" for tomorrow.
Maybe we could have a
brief meaningless affair,
starting tomorrow.
- You're cute.
- Thanks.
- You wanna go out with me?
- No, thanks.
Why not? I mean,
we'd have good time.
I'm a lesbian.
I'm cool with that.
You know I'm very...openminded.
I already have a boyfriend...
I don't want to marry you.
Alright cool guy, thanks.
A coffee and a bagel, Fernando.
Hey! I know you.
Oh my God!
- Hi.
- Hi.
You remember me?
Glass blowing.
How could I forget?
You said I had great hands.
You do.
I'm having a nervous breakdown.
So, I just told him, I said:
"If you walk out that door, don't walk
back in 'cause it'll be locked."
How did he just spring it
on you like that?
Or maybe I said:
"I'll swing that door in your face."
I don't remember
but it was a good one.
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
I'm so sorry, Grace.
That's really bad.
Didn't I tell you
that men are dogs?
I mean, mutts, pitbulls,
- mongrolls...
- Did you?
Maybe I just thought it.
Allegra, let me just
tell you something.
You are so lucky that you're a lesbian.
I mean...men are just not worth it!
Here, wait a minute.
Here you go.
Thank you.
I understand.
Shoot! Actually, I have to go.
You still have the number
of the glass studio?
I could really use a friend right now.
Call me, OK?
She was coming on to you.
- She was, right?
- For sure, damsel on distress and all that?
I feel bad for her.
My girlfriend walked out on me,
I know how she feels.
It's hell being alone.
No, honey. Hell is other people.
Alright, I don't understand this.
She's a lesbian,
but she's sleeping with you.
Well, yeah.
Cool, but...
Aren't most lesbians into...women?
She is complicated and unusual.
Right. Right.
Is she hot?
Yeah, I think so...
Is she one of those glamourous dykes
like from that show "The L Word"?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Is she a lesbian that's hot enough for guys
to like too, or is she one of those...
Woman-Identified Woman types,
like the ones we went to college with.
You can't reduce people
to cultural stereotypes.
- Hi!
- Hi, I'm Allegra.
Bye, Jimmy.
Are you sure Allegra doesn't want to
come in for a glass of "vino" or anything?
Maybe next time.
- I love that music!
- Well, that whole story...
Counter Reformation cautionary tale
about what happens when you exceed
the boundaries that God sets for men.
- Too much sex and you go up in flames.
- Exactly, exactly.
I don't believe this.
University of Chicago offered me a job.
It did?
- Starting next semester.
- That's great!
I would be leaving New York.
I don't know if I wanna leave.
Come on, Philip, that's great news!
Just...tell me about it.
They're interested in
a interdisciplinary approach
to late 18th Century philosophical discourse
You know, problems of...
I was with women
for a long time too.
And look at me now.
I'm happy.
Granted, I lost ten of out twenty
friends, but that's another story...
Sexual identity is like
a totally outmoded concept.
It doesn't even exist.
It's totally cool to blur all these
old-fashioned cathegories.
Bi's in, anyway.
Don't knock it till you rock it.
A lesbian with a boyfriend
is a contradiction.
And...you ordered the salad.
Something wrong with your food?
Yeah. I don't know why
I ordered a salad. I don't...
want a salad. I want a steak,
I want what you have.
- OK. We order a steak.
- It's too late now...
I have a salad. Damn!
No, order a steak then.
- Waiter!
- No, no, Philip, nevermind.
What do you mean?
It's not a problem.
Yeah, it is a problem.
It's a big problem.
Going from salad to steak and back
isn't as easy as it seems.
What?
I have to get out of here.
What's wrong with you?
I've got to get out of here.
OK, all right, let me get you a cab.
Philip, when a woman says
she has to leave a restaurant,
you have to let her leave.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Philip. Hi. It's me, it's Allegra.
I'm just calling to apologize
for walking out on you...
I didn't...mean...I just...
I feel like I need a little space.
I'll call you tomorrow, OK?
Hi.
Remember me?
You made it!
- A blow partner?
- Yeah.
And this is the glory hole.
Come on. The glory hole?
You're kidding me, right?
You know what that is?
Of course I know what it is.
I wasn't born yesterday.
Glory hole...I like it.
Good stuff. What else
you've got going on here?
Here, I made this.
You did? Wow!
Paperweight.
Really, really beautiful.
So, why did you come here tonight?
I've never been to a glass
blowing studio before.
And you invited me.
Well, I gave you my number.
That's usually an invitation to call
and then, after the call, you move on
to the next possible invitation.
The next possible invitation?
Listen, you want a ride home?
I have a car.
Usually you leave those things in the car.
It was so expensive,
I was afraid someone might steal it.
- I could have sworn I left it right here.
- Here?
Yeah.
There's a lot of glass here.
You want me to go with you
to file a police report?
No, let him suffer.
The car wasn't in my name.
You want me to walk you
home or something?
You know what, Grace?
You're so attractive.
I really, really like you.
You're gonna brush me off now, right?
No, Grace. I'm kind in a
complicated situation...
Why did you come and see me tonight?
So, you don't wanna sleep with me.
I do.
I totally do.
But my life is...
I just humiliated myself
trying to kiss a virtual stranger,
my boyfriend just walked out on me,
and my car just got stolen!
I'm not that desperate.
Wait.
What?
Oh God, that was so great!
Usually it takes me such a long time,
but this time it was like...
- Thank you!
- You're welcome.
I knew when I met you that
something sparkly was happening.
I thought so too, but...
Sweetie, what is it?
What is wrong?
No, it's not you it's just...
sex is so great
but it's sad too, you know?
It just brings up so many emotions.
- You know what I mean?
- I know.
Are you gonna call me?
Of course I'm gonna call you!
Are you gonna call me?
If you call me.
Well, I'm gonna call you.
- And then I'll call you.
- Good, I'm glad we got that out.
When you're gonna call me?
I can't decide, I can't decide...
Italian or sushi, what do you want?
I'm easy...
Or maybe we should get Thai.
OK, there's a place in Brooklyn
that looks really good.
Philip, what are your
thoughts on non-monogamy?
You're trying to tell me that you slept
with somebody else last night?
No.
Are you trying to tell me that you
want to sleep with somebody else?
No.
Do you want me to want you
to sleep with other people?
You mean like a three-way
type of thing?
The straight man fantasy,
two chicks and a dude?
- OK. Sounds good.
- No!
OK, wait.
I like you, OK?
I like you too. It's just...weird.
The guy thing or the like thing?
Both.
Yeah, let's get Thai food.
Grace, Tuesday's perfect. Hold on.
Philip...hi.
You're squishing my face!
What's this?
An old friend of mine...
Good. Let's use it.
Wow. I can't believe
last night with Grace...
I'm seeing Philip this afternoon...
This is crazy...
Yeah, who says you can't have it all?
I've got Petit Billy, which is cheese
and mixed olives.
This reminds me having lunch
with my father.
That was so much food yesterday.
Hold on a sec, that's my other line.
Hi Grace!
- Hello.
- Hey, it's me.
Can I call you later?
You got together with Philip
as a way to get back at Samantha,
and then, when your emotions got
too strong, you found Grace
so you could project your conflict,
and who so conveniently was
breaking up with her boyfriend
making her another
unavailable love object,
which, of course, confirms your deep
cinism about relationships in general,
and keeps you from confronting
your real problem,
which is how to be yourself.
Jesus Christ, Nell!
All I did was ask you what you
wanna have for lunch...
Wendy's.
You're saying you don't care
if I sleep with someone else?
Yeah, I care very much.
But sexuality is a grey area, isn't it?
Desire isn't controlable,
which by its very nature it isn't,
and wouldn't be possible
for a person to sleep...?
Red.
- Red?
- Yeah.
Remember you told me an S&&M
can't use the word "no"...
or "stop" because it ruins the sex,
so you choose a color as the code word?
I told you that?
Yes, so that's all I have to say: "red".
Red.
Next stop will be
42nd Street/Times Square Station.
Change for the N, R, shuttle trains
and connections to Port Authority.
Hey girl! You! Yeah, you! The one
with the girlfriend and the boyfriend.
You can't keep running
here and running there,
first her, then him,
back and forth like a crazy person!
Uptown...Downtown...
morning, noon, and night,
trying to keep your story straight...
D'hell knows what's going on?
And here you are,
dashing on the damn train again.
I mean, what the hell is that?
Next stop will be Times Square Station.
Don't you feel like you should tell them?
I think if I were her, I'd wanna know...
No, you wouldn't.
I guess he won't be too mad,
since you're seeing another woman,
and not another man...
No, for sure. That's very "guy".
Look. I like them both.
I don't want to explain myself,
I'm incredibly happy.
Don't be a fool.
You are not happy. You're a wreck.
You're totally confused.
When can we meet them?
Never.
Nell Michaels.
Philip Russell. Nice to meet you.
- Hi Molly.
- Hi.
Thank you.
I've heard so much about you two!
Really? We've barely
heard a peep about you.
Oh, that's not true! Allegra says
you're all over that Kant guy.
What?
Yeah, my concentration is
in 18th Century German Philosophy.
That is so interesting.
If you like German misanthropes.
"pickle shvantze"
Deee-licious!
I'm an assistant professor
at Columbia now, but it looks as
though I might be moving on
to The University of Chicago.
Well, that's good.
- And you're a magazine editor, correct?
- Correcto mondo.
Have you ever noticed that certain
people always talk about work?
It's such a weird way for us to get
to know each other, you know?
We can talk about our childhoods
or where we're from...
I had a terrible childhood,
and I grew up in Philadelphia.
So, Philip, where did you do
your graduate work?
Sorry.
- Who is it?
- Who is it?
Nevermind.
Let's order.
Honey?
I think you have a message.
"Honey."
Why don't you turn the damn thing off?
I think I'm gonna have the salmon.
And you, Philip? What are you having?
What you gonna have?
Did he just ask her what
she was going to have?
I think I'm gonna have...
the mini-ravioli, Portobello salad, and...
a side order of spinach, and...
some polenta and sausage,
then I think I'll try that
squash with herb croutons,
hmmm...sounds so yummy.
The grilled calamari, and...
maybe a little half baby rack of lamb.
Sorry, I have to take this.
Will you excuse me?
So Philip...
Big fan of Kant, are you?
I am sorry, I just got
caught up in a few things.
What are you doing?
Can I come join you?
I'm with Molly and Nell eating dinner.
It's not that I'd like
to force them, sweetie.
I'd love to meet them.
I don't wanna be separate.
I'm not...I'm not trying
to keep you separate.
I have my life to deal with.
Hey, are you OK? What's wrong?
- I'm fine.
- Hey! You OK? What's going on?
We've waited forever.
- I've got to go.
- Wait!
Who you're talking to?
Nell's interrogating me. You didn't tell me
she was a philosophy major at Yale!
And she speaks German, Jesus!
She's worse than my orals!
What are you guys doing?
Oh my God, Allegra you're smoking!
- I'll call you later.
- Can I have a drag?
- Molly's having a crisis.
- Philip do I look like I'm having a crisis?
- Who she's talking to?
- Her mother, probably.
- I am sitting in the restaurant by myself.
- Is the food here?
- What are you doing?
- I'm on the phone.
Stop attacking Philip.
Who says I was attacking you?
Do you think I was attacking you?
Jesus Christ, I'm having a hard time dealing
with this man in your life. Isn't that normal?
You're mi ex. He's a...man.
Am I supposed just to accept
every crazy thing you do?
Yes! That's what friends are for!
Nell, noone's saying you're attacking Philip.
You're just being your normal...cheeky self.
What's that supposed to mean?
Why don't we all go back inside
and order another bottle of wine?
Look, I cannot talk now!
Just tell me what you mean by me
"attacking" your boyfriend?
I didn't say that!
Allegra, why did you pick up the phone
if you can't talk to me?
Hold on...hello? Hello?
Great. She hung up.
- Who's she?
- Her mother.
You know what, Allegra?
Screw you! This is bullshit.
Why are you getting so mad?
I'm sorry, they do this all the time.
I think is an ex-lover thing.
I can't believe this.
You know Philip,
we can just drink and eat
- while they act out!
- I think we should go.
I'm sorry that you think
I was attacking you,
but you, sir, are in a
very complicated situation.
And you, missy-miss...
Thanks for being
such a good friend, Nell.
Oh, auf Wiedersehen!
That was the biggest disaster of my life.
Ah...it's OK.
Philip, I'm really sorry.
I guess it's not as easy being friends
with you ex's as you said.
Did I say that?
Philip, it's never gonna work.
I'm just too lesbian.
I don't know Allegra, from where I stand
being a lesbian seems like
the least of your issues.
Anyway, I just...
I just think of you as Allegra.
What issues?
- Hello?
- Grace?
- Hi.
- Hi.
I wanted to say
I'm sorry about tonight.
I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
Oh...that's OK.
I'm just...I'm a little bit
sensitive right now.
I'm sorry too.
No...no, it's not your fault.
- I'll call you tomorrow, OK?
- OK.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Have you ever noticed that
women cry more easily than men?
It's one of the things
I love about women.
Me too.
What was you last girlfriend like?
Tall.
Oh, come on! That's all you can say?
Grace, sexual etiquette demands
you don't talk about
one person when you're
with another person.
"Sexual etiquette."
I've never heard of such a thing!
Come on! Tell me something.
One thing.
Sorry.
Grace...
Speaking of other people...
What a cute dog!
Hi puppy.
So cute.
You know, when I was little
I wanted a dog more than anything.
I begged my parents everyday.
And everyday they said "no".
So, one day I went to the store and
I bought one of those joke leashes,
the kind that make you look like
you have an invisible dog.
You know what I mean?
I walked it all around the house,
talked to it as if it were real.
- That's brilliant. Did they give in?
- No.
You know what I've realized
from being with you?
My ex-boyfriend never really cuddled.
- Did you ask him to cuddle?
- No, I think a person should know.
No, a person can't know
what another person is thinking, Grace...
Next time, tell him.
I'm never going back to him.
So tell the next boyfriend.
You're my next boyfriend.
What are you gonna have?
- You know what's funny?
- What?
You always ask me what I'm gonna have
before you decide what you're gona have.
Sorry, that's an old habit.
So? What are you gonna have?
Here's a thing you have to understand.
It's that...men, they can't say
what they really feel or want,
they have to act it out.
They're very hostile,
passive aggressive and uncommunicative.
- That's how they are, Allegra.
- Grace, you can't generalize.
I was speaking from experience, Allegra.
Something that you've been spared.
Wait.
- You mean you don't hate men?
- No.
Then how come you're a lesbian?
Because I love women,
there's a difference.
I want to make a toast.
To women united!
This is amazing, Grace...
Oh! "Amazing Grace"...
I'm so bummed
your friend Nell couldn't come!
No, you're not. Trust me.
Grace...what's with all the
cut-out heads in your photos?
That's him. My ex.
I cut his head off. Haven't you ever
done that with old pictures of your ex's?
Oh, tons of times!
If I did that, they'd be mad at me.
Did you keep yours or just
threw them away?
I keep them. Sentimental, I guess.
Do you wanna see him?
Totally.
- Why do you wanna see a picture of the ex?
- I'm just trying to get to know her.
- She's so cute!
- She is.
It can't be truth!
They can't be ex's!
Break it off, right now.
You've got to get out of there,
before this turns
into a total calamity.
If things can get this bad in New York City,
imagine what it's like in a small town.
Then again...New York City
is a small town.
You do not have a fever...
This is where that goes.
Alright, listen...this is
what we're gonna do.
You're gonna get up, get dressed,
go find each person, and tell them
you're sorry, but it's over. Alright?
I can't break up with them,
I'll hurt their feelings.
You're amazing, it's just...
I just got out of a relationship,
this is not healthy...
this is too new...
Oh, my God!
They're cheating on me.
- What?
- Huh?
- You've been staring at me all night.
- Sorry.
What you're gonna have?
- What the hell is wrong tonight?
- You're face is scratching me.
- I just shaved.
- You're scratching me anyway.
Allegra, if you don't wanna
have sex, just say so.
Now I get it. Now I know why
you won't include me in your life.
- You're still in love with her.
- What are you talking about?
I'm talking about what just
happened at the grocery store.
Grace, you said you liked
maccaroni and cheese.
All I said was Samantha liked
maccaroni and cheese too.
That's all. Nothing happened.
That's not all.
I asked you what she looked like, and
you knew how many eyelashes she has.
I'm going home.
Grace, please.
Let me just ask you,
where are we going?
We're going...along...
Do you love me?
I...I...
I ask you if you love me
and you can't even answer!
You're like a guy.
What is a guy, anyway?
Someone who can't say how she feels?
Someone who can't say "I love you", because
loving someone makes a person vulnerable?
I didn't talk to Philip or
Grace for three days.
I tried to write.
But somehow I just couldn't
get anything done.
So, what's up man?
The lesbian is busy tonight?
Shut up.
Well, I've got a date myself, so...
Don't wait up.
Ciao bello!
Yes, Molly...
Al, it's an emergency. I need you
to help me at a catering job tonight.
- Oh, no.
- I wouldn't call you unless...
I'm a writer, not a waiter. Alright?
- Please.
- Absolutely not.
- I haven't done a catering job in 5 years.
- Please.
What's happening? What's happening?
Can you, please, put that down. OK?
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
A honeymoon in Paris,
it's so old-fashioned.
- It's so romantic.
- Sam you look really happy.
- You're glowing.
- I feel like I have a fever.
Of course you have a fever,
you're getting married!
Here, a little shot of whisky should help.
Thank you.
Damn! I wanted one of
those toast points.
Can you hurry up with this, please?
Oh, great!
You owe me so big.
Take this. Get out there! Go!
Sam, your glass is full.
I only called you because we have to go
to that stupid thing together.
Right. What are you gonna have?
- We don't have to do that anymore.
- What? Do what?
The asking what the other one is having.
We're separated.
All right.
- Alright...
- I...
What? No, I'm sorry.
No. Pardon me.
Go ahead.
This is a hard discussion Grace...
You know...then let me go first.
Philip...I've met someone else.
You have?
And we're in love,
and I think it's serious.
I mean, I know it's serious.
Grace, I'm happy for you. Really.
That's all you have to say?
You're happy for me?
No. No.
It's just that I've met
somebody else too...
And it's pretty serious.
No, it's definitely serious.
- It's another woman.
- Yes it is.
But it didn't happen
before we broke up, I swear.
No, I'm not talking about you,
you fool. I'm talking about me.
I'm involved with another woman.
Champagne refills, please.
"Rpido, rpido", please.
"Schnell", please. Quickly!
Is everyone here an idiot?
What are you doing here?
I'm in charge of refills.
Come with me.
How about you work on the meatballs, OK?
Let me just do this.
- So, you're a lesbian now?
- Yes, I am. And happily.
With a woman who is interested in me
and all aspects of my life.
Well, the woman that I'm seeing
takes me for who I am.
- She loves me unconditionally.
- She must be a saint.
She's the most unique
person I've ever met.
She's a totally unconventional woman.
Well, the woman I've falled in love with
doesn't mind doing things together,
like a normal couple.
And we have amazing sex.
All the time.
Well, we're getting married.
You're what?!
- Why are you catering?
- Why are you having an engagement party?
- Why aren't you at home writing?
- Why are you marrying Jeff?
Wait. Do you wanna have a fight now?
Is that what's happening here?
I'm marrying Jeff because
I want someone I can count on.
- You're out of your mind? You don't love him.
- I do!
Sort of...and for all his flaws, you know,
at least Jeff wants to try to grow.
I want to grow too, you know?
And I have...a lot, since we broke up.
You wouldn't believe the growth!
- What?
- Samantha?
What the hell is going on?
I'm having a private conversation in here.
With who?
None of your business.
With my lesbian ex-lover
if you must know, Jeff.
Guess what, Philip.
I'm marrying the woman that I love, too.
We're going to Spain
where gay people
can get married, unlike here.
I'll make sure to send you an invitation.
Alright. Have fun in Spain.
Is Allegra there?
Get a hammer.
We're gonna bust this door down.
I don't really want a girlfriend.
Stop lying to yourself.
OK. Well, let me put it like this, then.
I want a lifetime partner.
And I can't help it.
That's just how I am.
And I know you're against
that kind of stuff, and you think it's
slavery and patriarchy,
and all that kind of stuff.
But, Allegra...I want to
grow old with someone.
And that doesn't mean you don't
have a self. It just means...
that you wanna share yourself
with someone else.
I don't wanna be with
someone who shuts down
as soon as she
starts feeling close.
- I do not do that.
- Yes, you do.
OK.
I do.
But I don't want to...I really, really don't.
Hold it!
- I'm not speaking to you.
- I'm not speaking to you.
Never did like your friend Jeff,
anyway. He's an idiot.
Just ignore me the whole night,
and try not to make out
with every woman in the room!
I can't believe I'm wearing
this stupid outfit.
I think you look cute.
I have never seen you this vulnerable.
It's all your fault.
It's fantastic.
Sam, I'm going to bust the door down!
Jeffrey, we need to talk.
- Allegra!
- Oh my God!
What are you doing here?
I was just trying to call you.
Philip, I'm on my way out.
Oh my God, I've got to talk to you.
I saw Grace tonight.
That's my ex, you know.
And...she met somebody else.
She's a lesbian now.
Can you believe this?
Can you? Can you?
This is insane. They're gonna get
married in Spain.
I knew that's what she want,
she wanted that, but
still, it's just such a shock!
Spain? That's not true.
She had to tell me how great
the sex was that they had.
She just throw that in there.
I went a little bit over the deep end.
Please, tell me you'll marry me,
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Allegra, I'm serious. I love you
with all my heart and soul.
Red! Red! Red!
- Molly.
- I'm sorry.
- Philip, what are you doing here?
- Jeff and I went to college together.
Can I just have Allegra
for a quick sec...
Come here.
Whatever you do,
do NOT go into the kitchen.
He met someone else. He met some
woman-saint and he wants to marry her.
We were together for six years,
and in five minutes he wants
to marry someone else.
I can't believe it!
I mean, I don't even want to
marry him, but it's a principle!
What did you tell him Grace?
I told him that I'm a lesbian now.
After meeting you,
I'm a whole new person.
- Grace, get a hold of yourself!
- I quit my job.
I wanna be a glass blower.
And I'm gonna get a dog.
I'll be right back. Wait.
Allegra!
Why is she wearing a catering uniform?
She was so smug
about her new relationship
with this woman.
She was going on and on about it,
and I just...I felt so angry!
OK. Then, what happened?
She ran out of the restaurant.
- You ran after her?
- No, no.
You were with a woman who ran out of
a restaurant after an argument,
and you didn't run after her?
No! What was I supposed to do?
When a woman runs out of a restaurant,
that's your cue to get up and run after her.
- Whose side are you on, anyway?
- Not on anyone's side!
Allegra!
How do you know her?
That's my girlfriend.
Your what?!
Philip, I met Grace after I met you.
I had no idea you...
you two were ex's.
I had no idea...
I was gonna end up...
seeing both of you.
It got complicated,
and it was like...
being on a moving train
that...couldn't stop.
Some people wanna find someone...
they can grow old with.
I didn't understand that before now.
It makes total sense,
even if it takes
going through hell to get there.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean...to hurt anyone...
The reason Freud thought
there were no coincidences
is because we're always
more aware than we think we are.
We think we just
run into someone but, in fact,
we might have seen him out of the
corner of our eye earlier that day.
We just didn't register it.
Once something lodges itself
in your unconscious
it's just there,
pleading to be realized.
So,
this was the last coincidence
I had with Philip and Grace.
It was also the last time
I ever saw them.
I never again left anything
in my life just to chance.
A poet once wrote:
"The Heart is the capital of the Mind"
"The Mind is a single State"
"The Heart and the Mind together make
A single Continent."
"A single Continent", it's just such a great
concept when you think about it.
Emily Dickinson.
Emily Dickinson?
- She wrote it.
- Are you sure?
Honey, if she says so,
you can take it to the bank.
Really?
I just get Emily Dickinson
confused with the other one
the one who stayed home all the time.
- Emily Dickinson.
- Emily Dickinson!
What about the Bront's, didn't the
Bront's stay home all the time too?
Hey, honey.
- Sorry I'm late.
- No, you're not late.
- I got you maccaroni and cheese.
- You're such a good girlfriend.
- So, how did it go today?
- I got ten pages down.
That's great!
Did you ever read any Emily Dickinson?
Al...you know I hate poetry.
Yeah...yeah.
I love that about you.
I love you. I love you totally.
Good. I love you too, and...
there's tons of laundry to do later
and I'm not doing it alone, so...
What do you say we stay in tonight
and watch an old movie?
SUBTITLES by LouCid