1
Bubblegum Teddybear?
Yes. Hi.
I'm Jeff87. Or just Jeff is
fine.
Bubblegum Teddybear.
So your parents were Mr.
and Mrs. Teddybear?
When my mom was in her 40s,
she got her doctorate in
philosophy.
Ah. So she had a few quirks.
So they were Mr. and Dr.
Teddybear.
(LAUGHS)
Okay. Wow.
I'd sure like to party with
those guys.
I wish you could.
(BUZZ BUZZ)
Painful right?
I guess you hold a certain
amount of the power
when a first date is terrible
because you're the one making it
terrible.
I know. I'm coming off as such a
weirdo.
Which is odd, because I'm not a
weirdo.
I'm ridiculously unremarkable.
And it's certainly not his
fault.
I mean...
Jeff and I should get along
great.
He's also ridiculously
unremarkable.
Maybe I'm not ready to be dating
again.
Hey Davey?
Will you show the next reel?
Yeah.
Uhh...
Okay. Umm...
Okay. So.
This will all make a whole lot
more sense
once you know a couple things
about me.
My parents died a while ago.
Oh. Poor little damaged lady.
She's so messed up and
mysterious.
No.
I'm not.
Shut up.
I'm not special.
Parents die.
If yours haven't already, then
they're
going to die soon. Just
look at how old they are.
Gross.
Okay.
So, the other thing you
need to know about me...
This is me back in Kansas.
I'm waiting for a ride
to my boyfriend's funeral.
The funny thing is
this is the strongest memory I
have
of that wretched day.
And I couldn't tell you why
but I remember feeling in this
moment like
Scarlett O'Hara.
Fiddle dee dee.
I'm not the type to delude
myself
or fill my head with
misconceptions
I'm not going to tell you
he was the perfect man
or my soulmate
or some such ipecac.
We probably would have
broken up just like everybody
does.
But then he-
So...
Where are you from?
Died.
People will try to tell you that
as long as you remember them,
your loved ones are never really
gone.
That you always have a piece
of them in your heart.
Maybe that's true, but
the opposite is also true.
If I love someone and they die
a part of me dies with them.
Sup?
Nuzibundin
There she is.
Burn the witch!
Burn her!
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
Have you seen Mickey?
Sorry. I can't help.
Is he in your place?
Who?
I don't know anyone named Nikki.
Mickey.
I'm sure I don't know anyone
named Mickey.
Hey Davey? Will you put on the
Mickey reel?
I don't have it ready to go.
Can you give me a few minutes to
find it?
No problem.
I haven't been to Yoga since I
left Kansas.
So. I'm probably due to check it
out.
I've got the Yoga clip right
here.
Yeah. Could you put that one on?
I'm here for the 10 o'clock
class.
Namaste.
Have you ever taken a class with
us before?
Not at this studio.
Could you please fill out this
form?
I have a few questions for you.
Have you ever had any heart
problems?
I've done Yoga lots of times.
Can I ask where you're from?
I can't quite place your accent.
I don't have an accent.
Midwest?
The first class will be ten
dollars.
Miss...
Teddybear?
We recommend that you
drink plenty of water.
You forgot to fill out your
email address.
No one ever recommends that
you don't drink water.
Mmm-hmm.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Alright, you dogs.
Get your faces down on the mats.
(PUNK MUSIC)
Keep your chin up, dipstick.
Watch your balance, moron.
Focus.
Focus.
Focus. Focus.
And now
we will have a few moments
of peaceful silence.
Peaceful silence
peaceful silence, peaceful
silence...
Not now.
Davey?
Do you have that Mickey reel?
So, your parents were Mr.
and Mrs. Teddybear?
Mister and Doctor.
That's great.
Listen.
Can I tell you something?
Okay.
I'm having a really nice time
with you.
You're kidding.
Not at all.
I don't know how your last
boyfriend treated you.
Dead.
Or if your parents raised
you in some weird way.
Also dead. Everybody's dead.
But I can tell you've been hurt.
Death. So much death.
I'm sure you're a tough woman.
But I think you're putting up
an even tougher exterior.
I see so much more in you.
Oh no.
Davey, can you get me out of
here?
I think you're just...
Don't.
Beautiful.
Ugh. He's at lunch.
I said you're beautiful.
Yeah. I caught that.
I'm not beautiful.
Sure you are.
I don't want to argue about it.
Sorry.
Sorry I said you're beautiful.
Don't ever call me beautiful.
Look. Dude, I get it.
You're trying to pay me a
compliment.
Or whatever.
You need to know
that beautiful isn't something
that everyone strives to be.
I am actually morally opposed
to being a human being who
radiates beauty outwardly.
That makes no sense.
Every morning
I look in the mirror and I say,
'You are not beautiful.
You are not beautiful.'
It's my mantra.
Sometimes, it's the high point
of my day.
You want me to tell you
that you're not beautiful?
Do you want me to tell you
that you're not beautiful?
Bubblegum?
Everything okay?
I'm fine. He called me
beautiful.
Uh oh.
Well?
Well what?
Do you want me to tell you
that you're not beautiful?
I don't want you to tell me
anything.
You saw that?
You don't know what
you're doing here
but I do.
You're here
because you're grasping at
connection.
You need to know
that other spirits are haunting
this land.
We're all around you.
Just reach out.
I just want you to give it a
chance.
Nice!
Shut up, Davey.
I know why I'm here.
I'm here with you because
there were technical
problems with the Mickey reel.
You're not giving it a chance.
I don't know if I can.
Huh?
You probably are an interesting
guy.
I don't know.
But I haven't said one normal
thing this whole time.
You just sit there. You know?
It's hard to respect it.
I wish you would just get up and
leave.
And go. And find a girl who
wants
to be called beautiful.
Go and be happy.
I could respect that.
I had this friend
back in Kansas who
was a photographer.
She knew all about soft
lights and soft focus.
She would take pictures
of fat people and make them look
thinner.
She'd make people look younger.
She hid aspects of their
appearance.
And emphasized others.
She made people look beautiful.
I am this and I never want to be
beautiful.
I especially never want
to be made beautiful.
I had a nice time with you
tonight, Buffy.
Me too, Biff.
Is it okay if we park here?
For a while?
I mean, it's okay if you
need to go home or...
Oh.
Anything or...
If you want.
(HOWL)
You look really pretty tonight.
What was that?
I'm sorry.
I think there are coyotes out
there.
There's no coyotes around here.
(SCREAMS)
Bubblegum.
Yes?
I have the Mickey reel.
I'm sleeping.
Wake up.
I just had the strangest dream.
What happened?
I never remember my dreams...
...something about seatbelts?
So? Do you want me to run this?
Yeah. Go ahead.
So.
Bubblegum Teddybear.
My name is Bubblegum Teddybear.
Everyone is dead.
I'm from Kansas but I don't like
people to know that because
it irritates me when someone
says
I don't think we're there
anymore.
I'm not beautiful because beauty
is a thing
that should be taken in, not
projected out.
Do you want to go see a rock and
roll show?
These guys are friends of yours?
The guy is my neighbor.
The... singer?
I have no idea.
Huh.
He doesn't know I'm alive.
I think I'm gonna go.
This is the greatest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
We are Mickey and the Slippers.
Thank you.
Thank you. Good night.
Hi.
You guys were awesome.
That was so much fun.
I'm your neighbor.
Hi.
I'm Mickey.
I know.
I've been waiting for
this reel my whole movie.
I'm Bubblegum Teddybear.
Of course you are.
This is Ingrid.
I'm a performance artist.
This is Babette.
I'm a prop.
Bubblegum.
Bubblegum.
You wanna go to a party?
Davey, that's way too far ahead!
Sorry.
That's better.
You wanna go to a party?
Umm...
I don't think I should.
Why not?
I'm terrified.
Give it time.
Hey Bubblegum.
Watch this.
How?
Nice to meet you Bubblegum.
You know how every time you love
someone, they die?
Mickey changed everything.
And before you get ahead of
me...
Mickey and I don't fall in love.
I promise.
(KNOCKING)
Is that him at the door?
Mickey.
He's the guy who made life
interesting
and my dreams boring.
I'm actually dreaming right now.
(KNOCKING)
You're not beautiful. You're not
beautiful.
You're not beautiful.
It's 11:30.
Barry?
What are you doing here?
Gary.
I shouldn't have to have
to walk away from you
to earn your respect.
I was polite to you.
And nice.
I was even pretty charming.
Everybody's nervous on a first
date.
What do you want from me?
Do you know how to use a French
press?
Yeah.
Prove it.
I'll be right back.
I'm going to go get cleaned up a
bit.
I think you owe me an apology.
Do you mind?
The guy who shows up at my house
uninvited and wakes me up,
is worried about drinking
some of the coffee
he made for me.
You see? That right there.
You are so rude to me.
I can't stop thinking about
how impolite you are.
I don't deserve to be treated
like this.
I...
I need to get into the arts.
I want to be an artist.
Do you paint?
No.
Can you draw?
Not really.
What kind of artist are you
going to be?
I'm...
I'm sorry.
I was rude to you.
I wanna be a rock and roll
performance artist kind of
artist.
Go to Amsterdam.
Have a fun life.
I have a cousin that went to
Amsterdam.
Everyone has a cousin
who went to Amsterdam.
I want to be the cousin.
Boyfriend?
No.
Gary.
Bye.
Hey.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
Going out.
Wanna come?
So tell me about yourself.
I...
...can move things with my mind.
What's the biggest thing
you ever tried to move?
South America.
I tried to make it West America,
but the thing wouldn't budge.
Pity.
I can also start fires with my
mind.
I bet that comes in handy.
So...
So.
So tell me about you.
How is it?
It's perfect.
I collect astronaut trading
cards.
Sounds fulfilling.
It's a passion.
In my life.
Okay, now tell me something
true.
I thought hanging out with you
would be fun
Turns out, it's not.
Not that true!
I'm sorry. That was really rude
of me.
I don't know where that came
from.
That was perfect.
No really. I'm sorry.
I don't know where that came
from.
Let's start over.
Absolutely.
So, what do you do?
My parents were well off.
When they died, everything
they had became mine.
I don't know what's going to
happen
when I die.
I don't have a will.
I don't do anything.
I thought I wanted to work with
animals.
What would you say is
your greatest strength?
I'm a hard worker.
I work well individully
or in a group.
And what would you say is
your greatest weakness?
I have a violent temper.
Will you tell me about a time
when you
had a lot of stress at work
and what did you do to manage
the sitution?
I've never known how to
answer that question.
No one does, right?
One time, it was somebody's
birthday
and there was a cake.
But I didn't want any cake.
Everyone kept asking me
why didn't I want any cake
and was I sure I didn't want any
cake.
And, "Shouldn't you be having
some cake?"
"Why don't you want any cake?"
I ate a piece of cake.
I'm dying.
I can't seem to place your
accent.
I don't have an accent.
BUBBLEGUM: They were in a car
accident.
MICKEY: We were together for two
years.
I've never stopped loving her.
I hope she'll show up
again one of these days.
But I also hope she doesn't show
up here.
You know?
BUBBLEGUM: He just stopped
breathing.
Bubblegum?
Bubblegum!
Give me a few more minutes to be
alive.
What is that?
Nothing.
It's Davey.
He's trying to change the scene.
You can hear Davey?
Yeah. I can see him too.
He's that guy up there in the
booth.
What's he doing up there?
He's a metaphor.
What do you want, Davey?
I have the Ingrid reel.
Oh.
Okay, I like this one.
Go ahead.
Wait.
Is he, like,
watching me all the time?
Get your own metaphor.
Hey Bubblegum, can I talk you
for a minute?
Uh.
Sure.
Hey.
There's nothing between me
and Mickey. I was just...
I don't know what I was doing.
Oh. Yeah. I know.
There's nothing going on
between me and Mickey either.
Really?
Yeah.
He's still in love with that
mystery woman
from the other side
of the proverbial
train line.
Line?
DAVEY: Uh. Who is she?
Huh?
Oh. Right. My line.
Who is she?
Listen.
I got a chance to go back home
and haunt some old friends in
New York.
It's to good for me to pass up.
You're leaving?
It's up to you.
I don't want to mess up the
band.
I want you to replace me.
I can't do what you do.
It's easy.
All you have to do is become a
magnet
for all of creation's beauty
and for all that is grotesque.
You reflect this to everyone
as the music dictates.
Ah.
I'll show you.
Are you allergic to flour?
I don't know.
You would know.
How do I look?
I think you need a little
eyeliner.
You're not beautiful.
You're not beautiful.
You're not beautiful.
You're grotesque.
Hi?
Hi. It's me.
Bubblegum?
What are you doing in there?
Come. See. My band.
You learned music?
YOU LEARNED MUSIC?
What?
I'm supposed to invite everyone
I know
but I don't know anyone.
7 o'clock. Tonight.
Okay. Okay.
Wouldn't you rather
come over on this side with me?
Check this out.
Dude.
That was so much fun.
It was a very good night.
When we did Photocopy Love
Notes,
I completely forgot the
choreography.
And I tried to look at Babbette
and
the light was shining in my
eyes.
I couldn't see a thing.
I just had to wing it.
And so at the end of the song
the whole audience cheered.
Cheered.
We were rock stars.
It was rad.
It was heaven.
It's a fine line
A what?
A fine line.
Between rad and heaven.
Line?
Where is Babette?
Huh?
Oh.
Thanks Davey.
Where is Babette?
I don't know.
She left with that guy.
What guy?
That guy.
At the show?
Which one?
I don't know.
He came by himself and left with
Babette.
Davey, can you show my
insecurity?
So, Babette.
That's an unusual name.
Is it French?
Oui.
Tell me about your parents.
They're still totally alive.
And they love me so much.
I can call them any time I want.
You're so beautiful.
I really am.
It's the best.
And I am still so in my
twenties.
Beautiful and young.
And I am totally going through
a hussy phase right now.
What are you doing?
I'm practicing.
If I'm ever in a movie
and I need to wake up from a
nightmare.
That was fun.
Do you think Babette is
prettier than me?
Oh yeah.
She's much, much prettier than
you.
I see.
I don't mean that in a bad way.
I mean, you're pretty...
in an ex-girlfriend kind of a
way.
What way is that?
You know when you're dating a
woman
and you think she's
the prettiest woman in the world
and you want to kiss her and
kiss her
and want to kiss her a million
more times?
And then you break up with her
and you never want to kiss her
again.
But isn't she as pretty
as she ever was?
Yes. Exactly.
Super pretty.
In an all-kissed-out kind of a
way.
And that's you.
Super pretty.
But boys don't want to kiss me.
No.
Some of them do.
All of them want to kiss
Babette.
I mean...
Look at her.
Say something nice to me.
You're a rock star.
Hell yeah.
Hey Bubblegum.
Come on in.
Yeah. I called him.
So what?
I was just going to make some
coffee.
Do you want some?
Do you have anything stronger?
Sure.
Did you have a nice time last
night?
Oh yeah.
I meant to tell you.
You guys were great.
Really, really fun.
I still can't dance though.
Yeah.
Thanks.
It was fun.
I didn't see you after the show.
I didn't think I was
invited to the party.
What party?
Isn't there always a party
afterwards?
Barely.
So what did you do?
Came home.
By yourself?
You're jealous.
I'm not.
Who is it?
Who is the girl that makes you
jealous?
I'm not jealous.
Tell me...
and I'll tell you if she's still
here.
I'm not jealous of any woman.
Especially one with a fake
French name.
Yeah.
You of all people
should totally make fun of
people's names,
Bubblegum Teddybear.
Is she here?
Who?
Babette.
Bubblegum.
Look at me.
No.
I have never known anyone named
Babette.
I came home alone last night.
You and I are in the middle
of an incredibly passionate love
affair.
I've known about it for some
time.
But you've only realized it
recently.
Love is stupid.
Try this:
I can't do that.
No one can.
Try.
No.
Like this:
I tried. I can't.
Please.
It's important to me. Try again.
You did it.
I thought you don't like
being called beautiful.
I don't.
I shouldn't have had all that
coffee.
Hang on.
I'm coming out.
Well, this just won't do.
I've read all the books.
I've seen all the movies.
I know about structure.
This was my life.
This is my movie.
I don't want it to be some...
Tragedy.
Things are starting to go well
for me.
And they're only going to keep
getting
better and better
until the very end
and then, POOF!
Death and misery.
Well, I won't have it.
Davey?
Yeah?
What else have you got
ready to go up there?
I don't know.
Um.
A bunch of stuff.
What do you want?
Pain and misery.
I want everything to wrong
and be awful
until the very end.
And then, POOF!
I'm Cinderella.
Okay. Ummm.
I've got...
Bubblegum and Gary...
fall in love.
That's exactly what I don't
want.
In fact, destroy it.
Okay, there's...
Bubblegum Looks in the Mirror,
Macaroni and Cheese,
Bubblegum Goes to the Store,
Bubblegum Finds Money,...
Those all sound boring.
Uh... Bubblegum and Gary Don't
Kiss...
Yes.
What's that one?
Put that one on.
I hate this.
Just watch.
Are you sure we don't kiss?
It looks like we're about to
kiss.
I want to kiss you Bubblegum.
Barf.
No.
Yay.
What's the problem?
You annoy me.
That's because
you don't know how irritating
you are.
You are far, far more annoying
than I am.
No, no, no.
Stop this.
See?
You don't kiss.
That was way worse.
That was exactly the wrong
kind of awful.
What else to you have up there?
Okay.
There's um...
Bubblegum Makes Peace With the
Demons of Her Past,
Citizen Kane,...
Citizen Kane?
Yeah.
Oops.
Uh... That's mine.
Everyone says I should watch it.
Ugh.
All of these end badly for me.
Is Citizen Kane in public
domain?
Nope.
Fine.
Put on Mac and Cheese.
That's my place back in Kansas.
I know.
This is boring.
I know.
Oh wow.
That's it.
I never had strong opinions
about
macaroni and cheese.
But he loved the stuff.
I wanted to make
some for him when he got back
home.
But.
He never came back home.
Bubblegum?
I just...
I just have to get out of here
for a little while.
You're not beautiful.
You're not beautiful. You're not
beautiful.
Mickey?
Bubblegum?
I'm in here.
What are you doing?
Lydia's here.
Not here, here.
But here.
Lydia?
The one?
The one.
So you're, um, getting ready for
her?
Having a little bath?
What are you doing here?
I got scared.
Where's Gary?
You know Gary?
How long was I gone?
Best advice:
Find him.
I don't want any. Love.
Can't I just...
...avoid him until Lydia gets
here?
She's behind you.
Bubblegum, Lydia...
...Lydia, Bubblegum.
You are the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen
in heaven or on Earth.
Hello Bubblegum.
I can't place your accent.
I don't have an accent.
Of course not.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to
disrupt your
throughline.
Line?
Well, it looks like you two have
plans.
I should be going.
Huh?
Well, um.
It looks like you two have
plans.
I should be going.
Maybe we can all catch up later?
Later gator.
I'd like that.
It was nice to meet you,
Bubblegum.
I didn't watch the Falling in
Love reel.
Is that us?
Are we a thing?
Where is this going?
We need to talk.
That old line.
Line?
We do need to talk.
We do need to talk.
No.
We have talked about it.
Maybe you don't remember every
reel,
but I do.
You push me away.
And push me away.
What do you think is going to
happen
if you keep pushing?
I just don't want another
tragedy.
Forget all that.
Just tell me
once and for all
how you feel about me.
Aren't you just
supposed to me tell me
that it's all gonna be alright?
It's all going to be alright.
It's not though.
You think that
doom and despair is coming
because you're not miserable
in this moment.
But you don't know.
Maybe this is
the worst moment in your life.
Maybe you'll die
when you close your eyes.
I'm fine.
Gary?
What can I do for you?
Maybe
on the next arbitrary holiday
you can
rush to meet me at an
arbitrary place.
Like at 8:00 PM.
It'll be 7:59
and I'll be sure you're not
coming.
And then you'll show up.
And then I'll know.
Really know.
That it's all going to be okay.
You're really not making this
easy for me.
What do I like about you again?
I'm interesting
and I take beauty in.
Now close your eyes.
There's this canal in Amsterdam.
I've seen pictures of it.
I can see it in my head.
And I'm
projecting it into your head
right now.
Can you see it?
Yeah.
I think so.
I've seen pictures like that
before.
Good.
Meet me there.
At 8:00 PM.
On the next arbitrary holiday.
Sure.
Hey.
If your lead singer gets a
girlfriend,
does your band break up?
That's not the hardline.
Line?
Bubblegum.
Come here for a minute.
You've got to see this.
Hey Bubblegum. Come here for a
minute.
You've got to see this.
Huh?
No. Really.
Come here.
Okay. Hang on.
Who are you talking to?
It's Davey.
He's a metaphor.
I'll be right back.
You have to stop pushing me
away.
I'm in love with you.
I...
What?
(BUZZ BUZZ)
Look.
Why is that there?
I don't know.
I didn't design the place.
I just work here.
(COUGHS)
Hey Davey.
Can you get me out of here
if I run into any trouble?
Prolly.
I'm going to lunch now, though.
Merci.
So.
At last you have come to visit
me.
Oui.
And?
Trs bien.
I cannot place your accent.
Je suis American.
Ah.
Let me know if you'd like
another drink.
(FRENCH)
Yes. What is it?
(FRENCH)
That is the question, isn't it?
Why are we here?
Why is anything anything?
You may not have the
answer to this question.
But I do.
Life is pain.
And meaningless.
You are here to throw away love
and joy into the gutter
until you are lying in the
gutter
in your own suffering.
(FRENCH)
Yes.
Meaningless. All of it.
What is it you want?
A life full of love?
An end without tragedy?
Oui.
Oui.
Then there are two things
you must do.
Embrace the moments
that are not meaningless
in this tragedy that was your
life.
Et?
Stay out
of French Basements.
Ah. No, no.
Not that way.
That is my bedroom.
(FRENCH)
Au revoir
Bubblegum.
Au revoir, French Bartender.
Where'd he go?
Davey?
C'est la vie.
I'll be right back.
You have to stop pushing me
away.
I'm in love with you.
I'll be right back.
Stop pushing me away.
I'm in love with you.
I'll be right back.
Stop pushing me away, Bubblegum.
I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you too, Gary.
I love you.
I love you, Gary.
I'm in love with you too, Gary.
How hard would that have been?
No way.
(KNOCKING)
This isn't good.
Bubblegum?
In here.
Whatcha doin'?
Packing.
Bunch of headbands?
Check.
Old lady underwear?
Check.
Passport?
I think it's still in the car.
What's up?
Nothing.
Lydia wanted me to
see what you were doing.
She hopes that you don't
think she's too weird.
Dude. I think she's perfect.
I'll tell her you said that.
Go ahead.
Where're you going?
Amsterdam.
Do you know how to get there?
Go to Europe and turn left.
That shouldn't be too hard.
Do you need a ride?
I don't think you can
drive to Amsterdam.
Are you really leaving?
When are you coming back?
What airline?
Airline?
I'm coming back.
Don't worry about me.
There's just something I have to
do.
Did you catch that?
Yeah.
'kay bye.
Do you need help?
No. I got it.
Bubblegum, what is the matter?
Hi.
Hi?
What is with "Hi?"
I need to get to Holland in a
hurry.
Can I please go through your
bedroom?
To catch a train from France?
If it's not too much trouble.
Young lady.
I cannot understand a word
you are saying.
Ah.
(FRENCH)
Yes. Of course.
What does it matter to me?
Merci.
It couldn't have been Paris,
right?
Beautiful.
Hey, Davey?
What time is it?
Thanks.
Hey!
What.
He's coming.
(BELLS CHIME)
Fiddle dee dee.
Tragedy.
Again.
Maybe it's enough to stay out of
French Basements.
I'll just embrace the small
moments of...
Bubblegum.