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Quick Gun Murugun (2009)
In our country heroes
don't die. Heroes fight against evil for the good. I fought to save the cows. Then how... How? How can I die? So this is the Vegetarian Cowboy who caused all the drama? Shri Q.G. Murugun. Quick gun! Vegetarian cowboy, bye bye. `Listen to what I say' 'You will never see such a unique person' `No skill to charm Ladies' Eat IdIi, Utappam, Sambar and sing in ... praise of Quick Gun Murugun' Things like this happen. I have to go back. I have to go back. Welcome to Hell, Ministry of Death headquarters. Welcome to Hell, Ministry of Death headquarters. Take care of sandals. - I'm wearing shoes. This is the entrance to heaven! That is why it is so beautiful. Shall I go in?....No? I have to go back. Do it. One, two, three, four. Do it. Hands up. One, two, three, four. Take it back. One, two, three, four. Be good girls. Left, left, left. That's right. Turn to the right. Oh, I have to go back. Next. I want to go back. You want to but it takes time, understand? That too peopIe with 10 hands. Everybody just pick up the phone and call up. This is Paradise. Top of the agenda is enjoyment. Sir.... - I said no. Look at this fiIe for exampIe. Mrs.Savithri KuIkarni. She was a devoted wife in her previous life. Observed`Karvachout'. But she was in a hurry. And look at the resuIt. Enjoyment once in a year then she eats her mate. Thatis why Mr Murugun I say, procedure has to be followed. Look at the application. The situation is an emergency. Sir I have onIy done my duty. I'm a cowboy and protecting cows is my duty. All the confusion is because of that non-vegetarian Rice Plate, Reddy and his rowdy gang. A few days ago... Is there someone who wiII take my order? Is everyone here deaf or dead? Gun Powder sir, pIease... - Today isn't the day of... Navaratri Vrat, uncIe. What is on the Menu? I'm hungry. Paper Dosa, Set Dosa, Onion Utappam, ... cheese Utappa. PIease let me go. Don't you have non-vegetarian? Chicken, mutton or at least eggs? No. We serve onIy vegetarian. May I make some special items? Ladies fingers? Have you heard it? He is asking me to become a sage. I'm a non-vegetarian. Father... father... Ask me to try vegetables! Vegetarian or non-vegetarian, live or dead, choose Mr.Shankar. This rowdy gang is turning all vegetarian hotels to non-vegetarian. They killed the cows and made a menu of non-vegetarian dishes. Behind all this, there is a man. That is Rice Plate Reddy. Villain. Attention pIease. From today... this hotel is 100% non-vegetarian. On behalf of Rice Plate Reddy, note my new ruIes. Do not make noise. Do not create a nuisance. Do not argue with management. Room. - Single? - Single. Luggage? This is luggage. - This way, sir, Next. Bullet chicken. B u l l i t. - B u l l et. You want to teach me spelling? - Bullit. May I tell you something? All are friends onIy or.... Madam, my heart is yours. Sincerely. Yours, obedientIy. Yours, affectionateIy. `Oh IittIe fIower' `see your lover' `Look at your to be engaged and to be married lover' `Oh IittIe fIower' `Look at your Iover' `Look at your to be engaged and to be married lover' `your moves are inteIIigent and successfuI' `My heart is innocent and naive. `it is difficuIt to make it understand' `This is my first... `Love. `Oh IittIe fIower' be my lover' `be my to be engaged and to be married lover' What is this? You are crying Iike a girI? Have you not read in the news that the river Kaveri is fIooded. Water is okay in whisky but not tears. Stop crying gentleman and be a man. Leave me alone I say. You are showing matches to gun powder? It's too much. Hey Shankar, come running with orange juice for the boss. Mix his big big tears in it. Beef.- Beef! Eat or break their heads. If you are angry, go and save your cows. Go and fight. Break their heads. Come here. You are Iike chicken my PT Usha. If not, you have to take part in an Olympic race. Let me go. Hey you, Gun powder. Leave the lady I say. You think you are a man? Has a scorpion stung you between your Iegs? Better take refuge somewhere. RascaI, I'II teach you how to behave. You need not worry. I'll learn via a correspondence course. Smoking is injurious to heaIth. Come out I say. Enough. Hey, you...this is Gun Powder. Not face powder. Okay? Shut up and take out your gun, I say. If you are lightening, I am 250 voIts of current I say. Who are you? The earth is my place of devotion. The sky is my ceiIing. The entire country is my nation. My name is Murugun. Quick gun Murugun. Quick gun Murugun. Mind it. Tension tension tension. Farmers are made Cowboys? Sir, I'm unfortunate. Is your fortune in your stomach? In your feet? You are not Nelko. My fortune is in my grip. I write my fortune in my paIm. I write my own fortune. I write my own fortune. I found out that my fortune is... here, here, here. The earth and the heaven are in my grip. All the 3 worlds. Show me your hand. Sir, pIease. You have a long lifeline. But not now. Why, realisation came very Iate? Something new has to be written now. What do I write? Can anyone telI me what to write? What to write? - A resignation letter. Resignation letter. Mind it? What mind? Have you ever used your own brains? Listen. Break promises and fight Iike a roadside fighter? That is my duty. You waste your life Iike this? Look at your mates. Some studied IT, MIT. They will become top bosses in real life. Someone has to shut them up. I'm a cowboy and this is my duty. You wiII get trapped in to it. I just know it. Know it. HaiI God of Guns. Messiah of vegetarians. Do you think they are teasing? There are lots of peopIe outside. You can hear their slogans. Clean out the rice plate is what people want. This is everyone's demand. Not just mine. Rice Plate? - Rice Plate Reddy. He is the Master of Gun Powder. The Enemy of vegetarians. Big Man of this area. Is he a big man of this area? Biggest. They are turning all the hotels non-vegetarian. I see. Then I have to meet him. So and so gate. Such and such place. Dear sir, I've worked for you for so many years. Working with you is a sheer pleasure. Make the list. By repeatedly rubbing your coal,.. I made it into a shining and sparkling diamond. I betrayed their trust. Put an exclamation mark. I think I'm totaIIy tired out. Hyphen mark. Rogue, Lame horse. PIease terminate my services. Full stop. With full tension. Sorry. That Vegetarian cowboy... I want him. Come. Come in, Sir. This deluxe honeymoon suite is speciaIIy for you. What will you have? - What is on the menu? You have a choice. You get everything. What will you eat? A plate of rice? A special item, sir. Arrange for rice. He has come. Sir, I have promised that I'll not fight. But my duty calls me sir. Geeta will guide me. ActualIy, sir, that bIoody lodge owner... You will find the institute of Coconut tree cIimbing. All the best, sir. Come down you, useless Langoors. Lowly dogs. Coconut water? Q.G.Murugun. Quick Gun Murugun. Vegetarian Cowboy, ta..ta. Mind it. WorthIess thing. Rice PIate Reddy is indeed my enemy. He is aIive and I'm dead. PIease approve my appIication. The situation is urgent. Vegetarianism is the need of the hour. Come with me. I'II approveit. But brother, the risk is yours. Thank you, sir. Okay butremember that one minute of time in hell.... is equal to 1 year on earth. Sorry Mr Murugun. I regret nudity. Sorry. Why did he send me here? Rice PIate Reddy must be kiIIing poor cows. Before the world turns from vegetarianism to non vegetarianism... how do I stop him? So many vehicles! So many peopIe! Rascal. I think coming here is a mistake. No mistake. I'm teIIing you. You meet your Matunga brothers He will get your kerosene. Let us start talking of you and me. Where do I search for him? Why dont you forget about that rice, pudding felIow? You think he is here? In Mumbai? Some 25 years ago, a young man named Rice Plate Reddy... had been dreaming of turning this city into non-vegetarian. I'm Iaunching the first, I'm Iaunching the first, non-vegetarian Dosa curry bars, McDosas. The first machine made dosa in the worId. Now Mr.Sandu will present the first test sampIe dosa... to our celebrity consuItant, Chef Ranjiv Kapoor. What behaviour is this! What horribIe Dosa! Rotten smelling Dosa. This is a good Dosa. - Are you joking? Never in my life have I... This is a good dosa. Now tell the press that... McDosa is the best, A1,tip top dosa. In the entire worId there is no better Dosa than this. Say it. - In the worId this is the best dosa. I have not eaten such dosa ever before. Okay. Now say that... I'm not cheating on my wife with a student from Dadar. Not at all. No doubt that you are an excelIent cook, Mr Ranjiv. But you are a bad Iiar. Mr Chairman, I promise you that I'II give you a... a tip top worId class dosa. If not I'II shave off my hair. It's my promise. No more rotten dosa. OnIy one month is Ieft for the launch. I want an A1, hi-fi dosa. If not, I'II put your head in the mixing machine... Understand? Yes? - Yes. Rascal. sister-in-Iaw.... Listen, your younger brother has come back. Come out. Come in... come in. Sit. I'll cIose the door. Pigeons come inside. Come on, come out. He has a stomach upset. Where were you for this long? No news. Husband, look at your brother. Take out the gun, brother. - What? Oh, great grade 2 officer becoming a gun fighter? Remove your gun I say. My office fiIes no doubt move slowIy but... my gun still shines. You are my big brother. How can I win with you? My brother... You have put on littIe weight. This is okay dosa. But not McDosa. But this is my best recipe. I've tested it. Yet it tastes like slum dosa. Something is missing. Maybe if I put some Ajinomoto in it,... and change the formula and Feed this dosa to Rowdie. And you cut Dr Jango's hair. Brother, you're doing welI. Why do you have to sell kerosene? What do I do? - What? Did Clint Eastwood say that? He said he wont shoot you and you sell kerosene? No. TelI me exactIy what he said. He said if you got to shoot, shoot. Don't make idle talk. - You get zero marks. That was in the movie The Good, Bad and the Ugly. Do you remember, you bunked school and went to that movie. And you gave a note to the history teacher saying,... please grant leave. Mother serious. It was a great movie. Go ahead. Make my day, buddy. Listen. You have to go to the office earIy tomorrow. Budget review. The Board is coming from Coimbattore. This is your career. Your TA, DA, Diwali bonus. That half wit will surely meet you. Both the brothers are idiots. Dr Jango,this is my nephew, Rowdie, M.B.A Vishwanathan. AIso known as Rowdy M.B.A. You are going to judge it? Okay, very okay but something is definitely missing. It is not Ajinomoto, right? - No. So that is the big M.B.A! What is missing? Love. Mother's love. - Love love love. I don't get it.- Because you are a foreign hand here. In India, Mummy is No.1. And mummy's cooking is No 1. You want the recipe, I'll give you the best recipe. Some Tuvar dal, Coconut, ladies fingers. chillies, tamarind, curry leaves, and a pinch of asofotida. Grind, mix, boil. Then do what you want to do. But don't forget one thing Dr Jango. That is Mother. Full marks, Mr.Rowdie. You have found a soIution. Obviously I didn't understand. How do we make out it is the tip top worId's best dosa. SimpIe. You search for the worId's tip top, number 1 mummy. You gettherecipe. Mamamia.. mama mia.. Mamamia.. mama mia.. Mamamia.. - May I get Rice PIate Reddy? I want Rice PIate Reddy. How do you stop IdIi from getting sticky?. Do I get a plate of rice ? - No. You get onIy snacks. You still didn't find him? Find him on the google search engine on the internet too. What is the internet? You're ignorant. One can look at sexy pictures. You watch it on the internet? ShouId I bring you something to eat? - No. I have to go. Food is ready. Look he has become so thin Iike a dry drumstick. Let him go. He will eat good food outside. I feed so many and my famiIy eats outside rubbish food? You don't like my cooking?-You are the best cook in the worId. Keep dinner for me. Here is the challenge. You've got Mumbai's 10 best mothers. Want me to cut your cable t.v connection? No time. - Son... son... Letmego. No lying. - No! Who does this to mothers? FullI Tension? Attention aII mothers. Attention, pIease. I give you 10 minutes. Give me your Dosa recipe. 10 minutes. If not all of you will become mummies... Egyptian mummies. Means, brain dead. I want Rice PIate Reddy. - Rice PIate got over, brother. One tumbler of whiskey and one MasalIa Dosa.- Hey, mak ea dosa. Is shea cIassicaI dancer? - No. Mango doIIy. She is great. ReaIIy great. `Rukmaniye... `Pa Ra Pa Ra Pa Ra... `No chance. `Taratara tara `Some say they love me. Some show me money.' `Some bring love. Some offer drink' `If someone doesn't have anything, understand that... If anyone doesn't have anything, understand that,... `you love the reasons for it. And Rukmani says hello to him' PIease once again. `Rukmaniye. `Tara tara `No chance. `Para pa rapara `Everyone's hearts... `pa rapara pa ra `everyones kisses `pa rapara pa ra `who wiII not kiss her' `When he saw her in the crowd `I saw him feeling shy and scared' `thetruth is I feII in Iove with him' `But he doesn't come to me. He is a shy type' `Rukmaniye `Para pa rapara `Rukmaniye.... Pa rapara pa ra `Everyones hearts... Pa rapara pa ra..- are touched. `Rukmaniye... Can't be anyone. Cowboy! One more municipality Dosa. No. 2. It is good and I don't know... cooking and looking are... He cannot learn from mother. Said I want top cIass mummies. But sir, we have done research on mothers. All of them are top cIass. In that case... you have failed the quality controI. Some Quick Gun Murugun has come. - PIease take me to my mummy. Whereis mymummy?. So you are Tamilian. - Yes. But basicalIy I'm a Mumbaikar. I see. Is Mango your actual name. And `Tu'? - Means me? - Your name. Quick Gun Murugun. A decent and famiIy type girl like you... in a pIace like this! Is it for income? What an unsophisticated man! It's all because of my fate. Otherwise singing here! Art in any form is worship of the Goddess Saraswati. This is your style. Will you give me some holy food for it? Your poison? - Cocktail. I love cocktaiIs. What do you have today? - We have speciaI cocktails. Sex on the Beach. Honeymoon special. Sexy Dame. How dare you use such words in front of ladies?- It's okay. You lowly man, you use non-vegetarian words? Leave him. Let us go to some other pIace. Come on. - Rascal. Hey, smarty... Drop your gun down. Why that language? Say it in Hindi. Drop your gun. Good. Now say it in TamiI. Drop your gun. Gun and insect! Pronounce as `kiIa' -`Kida'. Pronounce as... `Kile' - Correct. No chance. Oh my God! BIood! - This is nothing. You did this for me. I have my duty to... PIease come. Come on - But.... I must go now. - PIease eat something and go. Food cooked by you is wonderfuI. I know it. From here to here. This is the route to the heart no? No doubt Madam Dolly. But it is a private route. Parking is here. For outsiders? I've a headache. - I'II cure it. You saved me and now I'II save you. Come I said. M.B.A M.B.A M.B.A. There are too many rowdies. Do you know a man called quick Gun Murugun? What! He is still alive! - Yes, sir. Full tension. Find him. Kill him. This time I want his head on a platter. Who is it? Sorry to bother you. Is Mr Murugun in? - No. He wiII come later. I can take only one name. Mango darIing. - Please untie me. First take my name... No. Your heart.. Raju.... - She is my worId. She is not in this worId. He is a big Clint Eastwood. - He loves the bang bang of guns. As a kid he used to read Cowboy books. Totally Indian Cowboy. Less of an Indian and more of Cowboy. What happened? Isn't my dosa tasty? It is very tasty. What?. - Yours is the best dosa in the worId. Where did you both meet, college? She was head girl and I was a boy scout. Can't you forget her? In my next birth. ShouId I wait? I'm going. The Door is open! What happened? What is this? - This is just a finger, Mr Murugun. This is the real gun. - M.B.A M.B.A. Brother... brother... Brother... Sister-in-Iaw... Where is she? Who did this! Eiffel Tower?... Taj Mahal? Rice! Rice Plate Reddy? The best dosa in the worId. You have done it, Rowdie. You found the wonder dosa. Tomorrow I'II serve the nation with my nice dosa. Day after tomorrow, the entire worId. Eat my dosa or die. Eat my dosa or die. Eat my dosa or die. Eat my dosa or die. Eat my dosa or die. Kill all the Madrasi mothers. I don'tbwant my secret recipe to fall in anyone's hands. Rice PIate, come out I say. One more cowboy! I found you through GoogIe, Rice PIate. I know you are here. Shall we telI this to Sir? No need. I'II make him face the music. Quick Gun? - Mango! - So you entered food business too? How come you are here? This place is not good for nice girIs. Who said I'm a nicegirI. Or maybe you came to the wrong pIace. No. I'm in the right pIace. I swear that each white grain of this rice wiII turn red. And Rice PIate Reddy, bIood. If not my name is not Quick Gun Murugun... Murugun! Relative of the other Murugun by any chance? From Matunga? Rowdie, stop. - Move aside. This is business. Is this your father's bottle? I don't Iike cold water. ActuaIIy she is the bosse's property. Shut up. - You know Rice Plate Reddy. To meet him you have to meet me first, outside. I'II meet today. - I'm a bit confused. Who is the Gun fighter in your family?. You or that old man? You have killed my brother? Where is my sister-in-law? - Outside. Quick Gun...- Go, give your boss a head bath. I'll tell the rules. Walk ten steps, turn, then bang bang. Next is you're brain curry I know the ruIes but you didn't get an empty road. What to do? Mumbai has too much traffic. Okay. Then I cut your bus ticket to heaven. You better hurry. If not you will miss that bus. Start counting. Don't come forward. Ten and take this. One more stooge. Come, pIease. Sister-in-law...- They stole my dosa recipe. - Sister-in-law... McDosa down down. One man. Just one man. The Vegetarian cowboy made me a laughing stock and you're watching. He killed Rowdie and you are watching. Your Dosa won't sell. Makena phone call... to Big B.- Big B? It won't sell. You mean Mr Bachchan, Sir? Superstar? Big or small, find one. We wiII do one ad. Big B wearing a shower cap, holding mummy's hand,.. McDosa is my personal guarantee. It is 100% non-vegetarian. Big B is biting McDosa. We don't want a meat dosa. Give them something like a sewing machine. The chorus will sing from behind `Ma tujhesalam' Call the Oscar winner Rehman from the South. Make a good ad for world markets. Welcome back to Who's the News. With me is a rescued mother... Welcome back to Who's the News. With me is a rescued mother... whom everyone affectionateIy calls sister-in-Iaw. And Mumbai's new vegetarian hero Quick Gun Murugun. sister-in-Law, wouId you like to share with our viewers,... something from your dramatic experience? Rice PIate Reddy is an enemy of vegetarians. Don't eat his dirty machine made dosa. Eat my dosa and see which is better, vegetarian or non-vegetarian. This is my open chaIIenge. Tension. It's a ploy to snatch away my customers. I repeat I'm fully vegetarian. I only eat a plate of rice for my meal.- Gun! He wiII eat Rice Plate Reddy. Make the vegetarian cowboy into a beef cutIet. He is just a mosquito. Tell me that you know him. I know you are crazy about him. I don't know him. I'll kill that mosquito with a mosquito killer. You may go. We have work to do. Go. Dr.Jango. - Yes. - Listen to me. I want bombs. Now. This is the tiffin box and sambar pappu. Now put the bomb in the sambar. The tiffin box is packed. It is put into a carrybox. It will reach the customer in time for lunch. The minute it is opened, the blast occurs. Such blasts have never happened before in Mumbai. Then what are we waiting for? Distribute this hoIy food to the devotees. Feed the hungry. I toId Mrs Murugun to use less chilli. We just got news that there are tiffin box bomb expIosions. We wiII take you to the scene of the expIosion, I thought it was `Alu Bonda' I Iove Alu Bonda. But the bomb exploded. MeanwhiIe the police are searching for the culprits. Do you beIieve it is a new kind of terrorism? Sir, next time I'll put in less chilli. sister-in-law! Stop... stop. Why are they cIicking so many photos? She looks so naive but this snake in Kanjivaram's sari... has bitten many. Today she is behind bars. She is grinding the dangerous red chilli chutney. Be cautious because you can be attacked ... anytime anywhere by the red chilli chutney. Who is the king of Dosas in Mumbai? Where is my sister-in-Iaw? sister-in-Iaw, you are grinding! Same job in the jaiI too? Sister-in-Iaw.. My luck is bad. Watch out for the grand marketing plan for the McDosa launch. The master plan remains the same. My McDosa will rule the market. Who gave you permission to wear this dress? My heart. Go away from here. You can never take her place. I know the road is private. No parking for outsiders. I came here to give you something important. But looks like you won't listen to anything. Take it. Take it. My sister-in-law's list of customers. What is this smell? Where did you get it? - From Rice Plate's underwear. You know the underwear with secret pockets. I see.- This is what I wanted to tell you. Rice Plate played a game with you. I'll pIay a double game. I'll behead him and play spring ball with it. Be careful. Looks like he is going to pIay a big game. I see. It was in Rice Plate's underwear. - Can I wash my hands? Actually, why don't you take a bath? The water is hot. Towel. How did you become the Chairman's step niece?. He gave me money for my tuition. Tuition! What tuition? Grooming, posture, waIking smiling, using knife and fork. I wanted to become Miss India. He said he could bring the world to me. I was such a fool. Don't worry. You still have a chance. Really? reach the prelims. You will vote for me? How was that? - Good. Next time, put more cardamom in the payasam. Where were you for this long? You don't even talk to me and eat payasam! Here I'm locked up. How dare you. - Listen. She is nothing but a cheap woman. But... - Road side romeo. She only wants to heIp me. - She wants you. Don't say so. I love onIy you. There is no doubt that she Ioves you. I can see that you love her too. I'll not force myself on you. I'll.... Mr.Chairman, alI the tiffin boxes are packed with... the expIosives and are ready to be sent. Are you ready? -Ready, sir. Murugun, watch out. Rice Plate will definitely do something. Did you notice anything else? One of his Vice Presidents dressed up as delivery man. Wearing a delivery man's cap. Okay, one last time. I'll not repeat it. All of you go to the raiIway station and by hook or crook, hand these to the actuaI delivery men. They will do the rest. ExactIy at 12 noon, with these McDosas... I'll start a series of expIosions all over the city. There will be lunch box bomb expIosions all over the city. I'll go with you. Together we wiII stop the Rice PIate. This is a reaI gun not a fake one. Leave it to me. After months of continuous hard work,... my baby is here. Bowing down I say that... Let me present it to you. Give it media attention. So that this baby can grow up. My baby... Calm down. Don't get scared, my friend. How come you are not afraid. I worked in a Bank as a loan recovery agent. Vegetarian cowboy... How did you find my fake machine? This is my cockroach killer. You are hurt. Sir, pIease come quickly. There is an explosion on the railway platform. We just got the news that at a raiIway station... gunshots were fired between the lunch box delivery men. It is suspected that it is connected to earIier bIasts. Is i ta corporate conspiracy?. Or dirty poIitics? It is fuII of vioIence. Ladies. No. Too much tension. Don't shoot. I am doing my duty. It is just another part of it. I Iove your cuIture. I Iike Tikka Masala. I Iike BoIIywood. especially the Munnabhai series... and I Iike your Mango Doll. Mango... Mango.... Jango... Tension, I have sent him. Stop him. Stop him. Don't Ieave me. You mean you and I... Yes. Maybe in the next life. No, in this birth. Please. Check... check.. - Where is he? Cheaters. I have had enough. Now I'll join a call center. - Me too. Where is the helicopter? Come on. Don't go. Come on. Come quickly. Hey you... Come on Mr Murugun. You're full of tension. Come down. I will kill you. You're tense. Wait a minute. We have reached the cIimax. How did you come? Life is a circIe. The wheel goes round and comes to the starting point. I've not seen a magician like you. - Thank you. Show your magic now. Sure. - Take it. Where has he gone! Where has he gone? Face me if you have guts. Cowboy.- I'm here. I'm here..... here... here... here. Here.. here... Look at my palm. Look at my lucky lines. No one can change them. Not you. Look at my hand. Rice PIate Reddy will live till 110 years of age. Look at it now, my friend. We met many times before. But this time I settle the score. Tension. Too much tension. This earth is my pIace of devotion. The ceiIing is the sky. The worId is my Nation. My name is Murugun. Quick Gun Murugun. Mind it...mind it. Donation for the handicapped pIease. Drop the gun. Money purse. Cooling glass. Cap. Cap. Locket. This isn't an ordinary locket but my heart. Road side Romeo? I said locket. Don't put your hand in the lion's mouth. It's my humbIe request. Where do I have the hands to do it? Drop it. Locket. Instead of a gun, you better operate an S.T.D booth I say. My courtyard is my bed. The sky is my ceiIing. The worId is my nation. My nameis Murugun. Quick Gun Murugun. |
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