Good afternoon.
First of all...
...I'd like to welcome you
to the celebration...
...of this marvelous day
in a beautiful young girl's life.
The Quinceaera of Eileen Garcia.
On this day she turns 15.
Today...
...she becomes a woman.
Magdalena.
We're gonna take another picture.
Before the picture. Hold it.
- Herman, look over here.
- Come on, fool, right here.
Look right here.
Okay, smile now.
No!
Don't tell my mom.
Eileen looks really beautiful.
- So does Magdalena.
- We have a lot to be proud of.
Magdalena's Quinceaera
is coming up soon. When is it? July?
No. In June.
Get ready to pay through the nose.
You know, Walter,
Magdalena's won't be like that.
She's different.
She's a more traditional girl
than Eileen.
All right, Ernesto. If you say so.
- Your hair looks funny like that.
- That's a nice comment.
Just trying to make conversation.
Don't bother.
- So did you go with Jessica?
- No.
- Not what I heard.
- I don't care about her.
Didn't you get the text I sent you?
Yeah. I deleted it.
Girls, do you have a chopping block
for the onions?
There aren't any more.
Maria, I was thinking
that I could madrina the dress...
...for Magdalena's Quinceaera.
Really? She'll be so happy.
I could alter Eileen's to fit her.
Thank you, sister,
you're always so good.
Silvia, I haven't seen Carlos yet.
He's not coming.
He's not coming
to his own sister's Quinceaera?
Aunt Silvia,
Uncle Walter wants you.
Don't talk to me about that boy.
One, two, three.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
...thank you for coming
to Eileen's Quinceaera.
Now it's time to dance and groove!
Look at the muscles on this one.
If only I was 20 years younger!
Forty years!
You got the urge?
Yeah! Look! Look!
Is To Tomas ready?
- Here.
- Thank you, Mama.
Thank you, mijo.
Thank you, Junior.
Why is To Tomas eating worms?
It's not worms. It's fat from the meat.
What's up, Magdalena?
U R STILL IN MY HEAR From: Herman
Carlos, what are you doing here?
Happy Birthday, hermanita.
I got that for you.
You better get out of here.
- What are you doing here?
- Nothing.
You're trying to embarrass me.
- I told you not to be here.
- None of your business.
You're not my son anymore!
I don't want you here.
Fuck you! It's my sister's birthday,
you asshole.
Get out! You disgust me.
Get out of here.
- Fuck you!
- No, Daddy, no.
- You better get off me, man!
- Carlos!
I'm going!
Don't do it, Carlos.
Don't ruin your sister's special day.
I don't want to hit you again.
Carlos, go home.
I'll see you at home.
Let's go. Let's get back. Come on.
Everybody, thank you for coming
to this Quinceaera.
It's a special day for a Quinceaera.
Thank you, everybody,
for showing love.
- Oh, my God, that was crazy.
- I know.
He hit him so hard.
First of all, a family party
and that happens.
I was kind of embarrassed.
That's my cousin. Come on.
It's her big day, her Quinceaera.
Did you see her at the end?
Her face?
She'd been crying and her mascara
was smeared everywhere.
- Carlos is so stupid to do that.
- He shouldn't have been there.
Exactly. It's her Quinceaera.
- Oh, my God.
- What is it?
- Look.
- Who is it?
It's Herman.
Look at you. You're going all red.
Shut up.
They kicked him out
of the house, why?
He didn't say.
Neither would Silvia. I asked her.
Here he is.
Oh, my God. Carlos, look at you.
You're going to spoil your looks.
- Let me clean you up.
- I'm cool, Ta.
- Come on, it's late.
- Let me take care of him.
Candy, let's go.
Bye, To.
You will live.
Come in.
I'm glad you're still awake.
I hardly got to see you all day.
You have fun?
It was a beautiful Quinceaera.
Oh, well, except for the end.
But Eileen's dress was beautiful,
wasn't it?
Yeah, it was beautiful.
Aunt Silvia said she would alter it
for your Quinceaera.
- That's nice.
- What do you mean "nice"?
It was a wonderful dress.
I know, Mom, but...
I wanted a new dress
for my Quinceaera.
Well, your father
is not Uncle Walter.
He doesn't have money
to throw around.
Can I get a Hummer limo?
What?
If we save money with the dress,
can I get a Hummer limo?
The same one that Eileen had.
Where do you get these ideas?
Please.
Just talk to Dad
about it for me, please.
Promise me.
Thanks, Mama.
Hello.
I got the rent check.
Thanks so much.
Champurrado!
Here you are, honey.
Put your money there, will you?
To Tomas, when will you give me
the recipe for the champurrados?
When you get as old as me, honey.
- Here you are, beautiful.
- Thank you.
Oh, my gosh.
I so need to go spring shopping.
- It's starting to get hot.
- I need new skirts and stuff.
I really want to go to the beach.
We'll get bathing suits!
With cute little sandals to match
those cute little purses.
And cute little tops.
We need sandals, skirts, tops...
Remember the purple top
that Sandra had on?
- I saw that.
- She thought she was all bling-bling.
I saw that shirt on sale
at Target for 9.99.
- I swear to God. No lie.
- What else?
Let's take the bus there and see.
- Yeah, sure.
- Yeah, all right. Let me call my mom.
Actually, I gotta get going.
See you ladies later.
- Bye.
- Bye, girl.
- Hey, Mom. I'm fine.
- I really need makeup.
Me and some girls are going
to take the bus to Glendale...
...and go shopping.
Yeah, sure, I'll be home
in plenty of time.
If you could time travel to any period
in time, where would you go?
I'd go way, way back.
Probably to Jesus' time or something.
- Really?
- Yeah.
People have so many different
versions of the Bible.
I'd like to go back
and see what really happened.
You know what that says?
- Herman loves Jessica.
- It says Magdalena.
What time would you go to?
Nineteenth-century France.
All those painters and shit.
I want to hang out with Van Gogh,
tell him he's gonna be a big hit.
- You're so weird.
- I know.
You know before, what happened...
I never meant to disrespect you.
You didn't.
No?
So it was okay, what we did?
It was okay.
Cool.
So why did you get so mad at me?
You were after stupid Jessica.
I wasn't.
That's just you being crazy.
- Yeah?
- She likes me.
But I can't stand her. I swear.
Try and catch me.
Herman.
- Your titties are so big.
- Shut up.
They are.
Nearly as big as Jessica's.
Shut up!
- I missed you.
- Good.
- Did you miss me?
- No.
You're so beautiful.
- I like you so much.
- Herman.
I do.
- Feel that.
- No.
Come on.
I love you.
This thing's not gonna work.
That's the only one we have.
Sorry I'm late, To.
They thought
you weren't coming today.
Oh, no. Come here, buddy.
I'll get the leashes.
Okay.
- Don't I get a hello?
- Hello.
Gee, thanks. What's up with you?
Nothing.
Eileen told me
some things about you.
- What things?
- Just things.
And don't let them shit
on the Hernandez's lawn.
All right. Come on, boys.
This time take them for more
than five minutes.
Yes, To Tomas.
Yeah, we're landlords now.
It's two units.
There's ours and then this place
in the back where this old guy lives.
Yeah, the rate was good
It's a 30-year.
But it's still a shitload
of money per month.
There's a super hot cholo coming up
the back stairs wearing a wife beater.
James! James, the back door.
Hello.
- You guys got an adjustable wrench?
- A what?
An adjustable wrench
for the garbage disposal.
Oh, you live in the back with...
- Tomas.
- Tomas, right. Yeah, come on in.
So, Tomas is what?
Your grandfather?
No, he's my uncle.
That garden he planted is really
unbelievable. How old is he?
Eighty-three, four.
He's my great-great-uncle.
He's lived back there a long time?
Yeah, a real long time.
Since before I was born.
Well, how old are you?
Old enough.
- I knew it was in the truck.
- I never said it wasn't.
All right. Will this do?
Yeah, it's cool. Thanks, guys.
I'll get it back to you guys later.
- No worries.
- Oh, hey, Carlos.
We're having a housewarming party
a week from Saturday.
Do you want to come?
- What time?
- Nine, 9:30.
I've got some things
I'm supposed to do, but we'll see.
- Cool.
- See you later, dude.
- Are you crazy?
- Trust me.
Yeah, that's good. Perfect.
That's it. Yeah.
Now you're getting the hang of it.
But she's stepping on me.
So why are you putting
your feet here?
That's the way.
Oh, Lord.
Magdalena's starting
to look so grown up.
I know.
Walter and Silvia offered
to padrino the DJ.
That's nice.
But there's still
the problem of the car.
I told you already.
I know, but we have
everything else now.
The answer is no.
But it's her big day.
Exactly.
It's a milestone in her spiritual life.
And if all that means is riding
in a Hummer limo...
...trying to keep up with Eileen,
then God help her.
I don't understand what
the problem is. It wasn't much.
Five hundred dollars
for the afternoon, driver included.
Ask one of the cousins.
I'm sure someone will padrino it.
I don't know.
He hates the whole idea.
That's your father, isn't it?
A good man, a holy man...
...but with his head in the clouds.
Some of us here on Earth,
we like a little luxury now and then.
Okay. Put your shoulders down.
You're a pretty girl.
Neck, 14 and a half.
Chest, 33 and a half. Waist, 31.
- Hips, 36 and a half.
- What? That's so big.
I know. I thought you'd be
smaller than Eileen.
Congratulations,
you're in the running...
- ... for America's Next Top Model.
- Thank you.
The next name that
I'm going to call, Christina.
Jasiel, how many tamales
do you want?
Three.
And you, Magdalena?
It's okay, Mom. I'm not hungry.
You learned a new trick today.
Congratulations.
Here, Joey, here, Arthur.
Don't you want to take a jacket?
It's cold out.
No. I'm not going far.
Okay.
Here, Joey. Here you go.
- So echinacea...
- Hey.
- I told you before.
- I know. I know.
- So how long have you been in L. A?
- Two weeks.
Hey, dude. What's up?
Glad you could make it.
- Thanks.
- You want a drink or something?
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Tony, this is Carlos. Carlos, Tony.
- What can I get you?
- Beer's fine.
- Cheers.
- Wow, James.
Congratulations on the new place.
Thanks. Come.
I want you to meet some friends.
Carlos, this is Stephen and Simon.
- Hey, Carlos.
- What's going on?
We've been looking around here
and when something comes up...
...people are bidding over asking.
I know. This area's hot right now.
It's so hot. We were looking at
a place a couple years ago.
But Stephen was concerned
about the crime.
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes, he was.
That place went back on the market
and doubled in two years.
Let's hope it keeps up. You have
no idea how much we paid for this.
I'm wasted.
I want you to meet somebody.
Hey, Carlos, this is Alejandro.
Alejandro, Carlos.
- What's up?
- Carlos lives in the back house.
- Where are the limes?
- I'll be right back.
Do you know anyone here?
No one. Just James and Gary.
- They're nice guys.
- Yeah.
They love their Latin boys.
Shots!
- Hook it up.
- Yes. Please.
- Oh, it's a good one.
- Let's have a look. Cool.
See?
Cool.
You can zoom in.
I am so fucked up.
- Is that a tattoo?
- Yeah.
- "Travieso"?
- Travieso.
What's that mean?
- It means troublemaker.
- Really?
Feel good?
Sure.
It looks like the opening
for one of those bad novellas.
I know.
- Wow. You have bells and everything.
- I know.
May? That's your middle name?
I didn't know that.
- You know that.
- No.
Wow, that looks good.
Is that a cake or a pillow
or what is it?
Cardboard.
You look cute.
You didn't have a tiara
on in your Quinceaera.
I know. I broke it
on the way to church.
- You did?
- Yeah.
- Your hair's cute.
- Thanks.
Those flowers are nice.
It looks like you're looking for bugs.
It looks like there is a bug.
You see it?
Oh, yeah. That's right.
Okay, it's not just me.
Oh, the dress.
That was cute.
It would help if you actually
applied it on your face.
She's putting it on the air.
- She has her whole face on.
- Her facial expression is like...
- You do not need more lip gloss.
- Oh, I know.
Lips all shiny.
So pretty.
Ta Silvia looks pissed.
I can't tell if she's gonna cry or smack
the crap out of you.
- Your dress is really pretty.
- Thanks.
My mom's supposed to alter it
for Magdalena.
Aren't you the same size?
Almost. She just has
to take it out a little bit.
In history they're signing up people
for a trip to Germany next spring.
- You gonna go?
- Yeah, if I win the lottery.
What do you wanna go there for?
I wanna see the world.
I wanna travel.
I mean, I'm sick of Echo Park.
I know every building,
I know every piece of grass.
I'm sick of it too.
What's wrong?
- Nothing.
- Really?
If I tell you, you'll think
I'm stupid and superficial.
- I won't.
- Yes, you will.
Come on. Tell me.
It's my dad. He's being a real jerk.
- About the Hummer limo?
- Yeah.
- I knew I shouldn't have told you.
- It's okay.
I mean, I know it means a lot to you.
Don't make like you understand me.
You don't.
You don't have
to go through this crap.
Okay. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a bitch.
It's okay.
Here you go.
Twenty minutes in the oven on 400.
Okay. Thanks, Mom.
And I'll be back from work
about midnight.
Before you go,
can I ask you something?
There's this girl, a friend,
her Quinceaera's coming up...
...and I thought maybe Uncle Hector
could get us a deal on a Hummer.
Who is this girl?
- Just a friend.
- Oh, really?
It's not like that, Mom.
She's the preacher's daughter.
I don't care
whose daughter she is, mijo.
- You have school to think about, okay?
- Okay.
Besides, Uncle Hector,
he just works for the company.
He can't set the prices.
Did you see
your friends again tonight?
- Yeah.
- That's nice.
Yeah.
- Hey, To.
- Yeah.
- Ever think about getting married?
- Yeah.
I've had a couple of close calls.
- Where? Was it here or back in?
- No, back in Mexico.
There was one. Maria Epifania.
We worked in the same office.
Different floors.
I thought about her a lot.
All the time.
She liked you?
Yeah, I think she did.
- And you liked her?
- Oh, yeah.
She was a very sweet,
a very beautiful girl.
What happened?
We saw each other a few times.
But I couldn't afford very much.
And then my mother become ill.
Very ill.
And I had to move back to the ranch
near Tepatitln, Jalisco...
...and take care of her.
So I just couldn't.
Yeah, that's messed up.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, these are just the most
rocking tamales in Echo Park.
We'll see about that.
Can I put it in the back?
I don't want it to get dirty.
Okay.
You added a lot of extra flowers.
No, I didn't. I moved a few around.
It looks beautiful.
Go try it on.
We're all waiting. Go, go, go.
The amount of work I did on it.
Okay, breathe in.
Breathe in.
Oh, it looks beautiful.
But it looks a little tight.
I think it needs to be adjusted.
Turn around.
You've gotten
the measurements wrong.
I did not.
We'll let out the seam
and it will be fine.
- Has she been eating a lot lately?
- No.
- Maria, I hope that I'm wrong.
- What?
No one could've brought up a girl
better than you brought up Magdalena.
- No one.
- Mom.
14 years old.
You'll need an extra blanket.
It's getting cold tonight.
What?
Have you been with Herman?
No, Mom,
I haven't been with Herman.
- I mean, having relations with...
- No.
- Or any other boys?
- Mom!
I know. I'm sorry.
When was the last time
you had your monthly visitor?
How could this happen?
How could you have let this happen?
- I didn't know.
- You knew there was a boy.
Someone she'd mentioned
once or twice.
I didn't think it was anything.
- You kept it from me.
- I didn't think it was important.
Not important! Damn it, woman,
what do you think is important?
Look at the state she is in now!
Papa.
Go away.
It's not what you think.
How do you think
your mother feels now?
The shame that you brought
on this house!
And on the church.
- The test is wrong.
- No, the test is not wrong!
It is!
He that committeth fornication
sinneth against his own body.
I'm telling you,
I haven't been with a boy!
You liar! You are so full of sin
that you can't admit the truth.
Not even when your wickedness is
in front of you for the world to see.
Why aren't you listening?
Go to your room.
Let me handle this.
Go! I don't want to look at you!
- Hey.
- What's up?
Nothing. I'm just digging the yard.
- In between jobs.
- Yeah?
Yeah, I work in TV,
so it's feast or famine.
Cool.
What are you up to?
Nothing. Just got off work.
- Oh, yeah? Where do you work?
- At the car wash.
So you're from London?
Yes.
- Like this?
- No, it's like this:
This one's an E.
This one's a P.
- Echo Parque.
- Echo Parque.
Be careful. Don't flash that
around Temple Street.
- They're the rival gang, right?
- They'd kill you.
Wow. You really live
in a whole other world, don't you?
No. You do.
You know,
we should wait for James.
She's fine.
It's no big deal.
I couldn't sleep all night.
She's my only daughter.
But Ernesto.
You know what he's like.
He's bull-headed,
but he's a good man.
Give him time
and he'll come around.
And meanwhile don't worry.
She's safe with me.
Hey, boys.
Come here. Come here, boy.
- Hey.
- Carlos.
I can make tea.
Would you like some?
No, I'm straight.
What's up with you?
- Nothing.
- Leave her alone.
Did you see the boys
playing basketball today?
- Yes, I did.
- Oh, my gosh.
Manuel had his head shaved.
Did you see?
- What did it look like?
- Horrible.
It looks like he has leukemia.
I think short hair is sexy.
But his head is so weird.
He looks like E.T.
I think that boy's too skinny.
He needs to put some weight on.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- You ready?
- Yeah.
I'll see you girls later.
Bye.
- I like them bald. Shaved.
- Some guys can pull it off.
Yeah, well, that's what I like.
So you moved in with your uncle?
Why did you do that?
It's closer to school.
It means I can walk.
- It's not closer.
- It is.
Did you get in a fight with your dad?
Was it about the Hummer limo?
Come here.
I'm gonna have a baby.
- Yeah, right.
- I am.
You can't be.
I did the test. I did it twice.
- Who's the father?
- You.
That's not possible.
I know.
- But we never...
- I know that.
But the baby's there and I've never
been with anybody else.
You don't believe me.
Did you hear that Maria Elena
is moving to Sylmar?
Is she moving?
See how much they're asking for?
The neighborhood is sure changing,
isn't it?
So fast.
Here you are.
Carlos, get your feet off the sofa.
- It's my house. I can do what I want.
- It's my house now too.
Fuck you.
I have to sleep there
and your boots are dirty.
So?
I know why you're here.
And I'm sorry you wasted your time.
I just think you two should talk.
When she's ready to confess her sin,
I'll talk. Not until then.
Magdalena is very strong-headed.
You know what she's like.
I used to know her.
She's still the same.
The girl I knew read the Bible at night
and sang in my church.
She didn't run around with boys
and fornicate.
She didn't lie to her father.
I don't think she's a liar.
It's true, Ernesto. She doesn't lie.
A girl who hasn't been with a man
doesn't end up with a baby. Period.
You're a loser.
Smoking pot in the afternoon,
watching cartoons.
Look who's talking,
14 and pregnant.
Face it. Your life is over.
No, it isn't.
I'm gonna have my baby, go to school,
do everything I planned to do anyway.
Good luck.
- Want a hit?
- No.
Nobody believes you, huh?
- About what?
- About what? Come on.
No.
Nobody believed me
about anything.
That's because you're a liar,
and a thief, and a pothead, and a gay.
So?
I read some stuff on the Internet.
Why don't you check it out?
What stuff?
Oh, you know. Sex advice.
I don't need no sex advice.
Just trying to help.
"Is there any way to get pregnant
if the man's sperm...
...gets onto the outside of the vagina
but not inside?
Signed, Pregnant Virgin."
"Dear Pregnant Virgin.
Sperm are very determined beings...
...whose sole reason to exist
is to get inside the fallopian tubes.
Whenever sperm is sprayed near
the vaginal opening...
...there is a chance
that they could swim inside."
- See?
- Fuck.
- You still think it's someone else's?
- I never did.
I mean, it's just weird, that's all.
- What are the chances?
- I don't know.
My sperm must be
pretty strong swimmers, huh?
Shut up.
- I mean, I only came on your leg.
- Herman, stop.
Did you show this to your dad?
Why not?
And let him know how far we did go?
Yeah, he'd love that.
- Hey.
- What?
If he's a boy, we can call him Jesus.
Yeah.
- I'm sure he'll be a great kid.
- Or she.
We can make him a papoose
and take him traveling with us.
Come here.
What are you doing later?
Nothing. Got the day off.
Want some?
There's no smoking in the house.
It's the rule. It's not my rule.
Okay.
How long you guys been together?
About five years now,
with six months off for good behavior.
You guys split up?
Yeah, about two years ago.
Then got back together again.
You guys cool?
I don't know.
It's like we're so different.
I'm spontaneous...
...and he likes to plan things
two months in advance, you know?
He's so dependent. Must be
the age difference or something.
He's older than you?
Yeah, like six years older than me.
You ass.
I gotta go.
I shouldn't be talking about
age difference with you.
I'm like nine years older
or something?
Ten.
I don't really think about it, though.
Neither do I.
All right.
Hold on, hold on.
Hello?
- It went out.
- It's a dud.
- Hey, come back! It's lit.
- Come back, come back.
Cinco de Mayo!
Cinco de Mayo.
Yo, I'll be right back.
Let me show you something.
Who do you think they are?
I don't know.
- That's your mother and Aunt Silvia.
- No way.
It was taken out here in the yard,
when I just moved in.
There was nothing here
but burnt grass.
That's crazy.
- Who's that?
- That was my mother.
Your great-great-grandmother.
She's beautiful.
Dolores Angulo.
She had 22 children.
- He was the 13th.
- Yup. My lucky number.
Let me show you
some of my brothers.
That's Chuy, and Alberto,
and Paco and...
I forgot his name.
Oh, God, what's his name?
Jorge!
Sorry about that, Jorge.
- And that's you?
- Yes.
Why is your leg in a cast?
He was in a cast for two years.
He laid down behind a truck
and tried to off himself.
- Carlos.
- It's true.
- It's true.
- Really?
Yeah.
When I was 9 years old, I decided
I didn't want any more of this life.
I wanted to come back
as someone else.
So I hide behind
the back wheels of a truck...
...and waited for it to start.
- It ran you over?
- It did.
I wasn't supposed to live.
I spent months and months
in the hospital.
And it was a long time before
I could see or eat or walk.
In a way, I got what I wanted.
I came back as a different person
after all that.
Don't you ever try it, though.
- Got a date?
- Yeah, right.
- Who with?
- None of your business, hood rat.
What do you do
with those guys anyway?
You embarrassed or something?
- No.
- So?
What do you think we do?
I don't know.
I'm a virgin, remember?
Yeah, right.
Come on, Carlos. I told you stuff.
We mess around, all right?
Are you the peanut butter
in the sandwich?
Fuck you.
- Do you like both of them the same?
- No.
- The young one's better looking.
- Yeah. Gary.
- What do you mean?
- Nothing.
Have you done
that kind of thing a lot?
First time.
- First time with two?
- No, first time ever.
Yeah? I thought Uncle Walter
caught you with some boy?
What? Is that what Eileen told you?
He tracked this site
I used to go to on the Internet.
- What?
- Yeah. Fucked up, huh?
- You're getting big.
- You mean fat.
Come on. Don't be like that.
- You don't like it, do you?
- Of course I do.
- What are you up to this weekend?
- Not much. You?
It's kind of crazy.
Saturday, I got my AP History exam.
Saturday night's my mom's birthday.
I'm taking her out to dinner.
Have you told her yet?
No. I keep waiting for the right time.
I want to tell her after her birthday.
Well, I gotta get going.
Hey.
We're having a barbecue
over at my house on Sunday.
Just some friends, relatives and stuff.
You wanna come?
Yeah. If you want me to.
Yeah. It'll be great.
Call me then.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What's up?
- Not much. What's up with you?
- Food looks good.
- Yeah.
- Thanks. You want some?
- No, not yet. I'm all right, thanks.
- We forgot the hamburger buns.
- I thought we had some.
Just two packs. And people
are gonna start arriving soon.
- I'll go get some.
- Okay then.
Mom, this is Magdalena.
Hi, it's nice to finally meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you for coming.
Excuse me.
- Does she know?
- Yeah.
- Really?
- Well, sort of.
What's that supposed to mean?
She knows about you,
that you're pregnant.
- And?
- What?
- That it's yours.
- Well, that's stage two.
Herman.
You don't understand.
You don't know her like I do.
She has all these dreams
and expectations of me.
- I think I'm gonna go home.
- No, wait.
Go to the store with me.
- The house looks really great.
- We have a lot of work to do.
- Well...
- You did a great job.
This soup's amazing.
Did you make this?
- What is it?
- Cauliflower and caraway seeds.
- It's unbelievable.
- I have the recipe if you want it.
There was this really cute Latin boy
at my gym today.
I mean, oh, my God.
Totally little cholo.
Shaved head, tattoos,
his butt was like:
Oh, my God,
you should meet Carlos.
Gary. Gary, tell Stephen
about Carlos.
Carlos? He's really hot.
Yeah, and he's 8 inches uncut.
- Please bring him over next time.
- No, he's all ours.
Finders keepers.
- Will you grab the trivet? This is hot.
- All right.
Would you like me
to make the dressing?
No, I'll do it.
The trash is overflowing.
Gary.
You scared me. What's up?
Nothing.
For me? Thanks.
"Lil Rob." Cool, man.
Yeah, I was peeping your CDs, man.
Your shit blows.
You know, I should get back.
- His rhymes are sick.
- I know. I love Lil Rob.
It says Elton John.
Shit. I'll take it back.
Carlos, wait.
The cellular number you are trying
to reach is no longer in service.
The cellular number
you are trying to reach...
- Yes?
- Hello. Is Herman home?
- No, he's not here.
- Where did he go?
- He's out of town with relatives.
- I need to talk to him.
Listen. Herman
is a straight-A student.
He's going to finish school
and go to college to study medicine.
He doesn't have time for this.
Sorry about the state you're in...
...but he gave me his word
he didn't do anything with you.
Take the problem to the person
who is responsible.
- Herman is responsible.
- I have my son's word. I believe him.
- He's lying to you.
- Please leave my son alone. Please.
Hey, it's James.
No, Gary forgot his phone.
Oh, it sounds fun. I'd love to,
but I have a meeting.
I'll tell Gary you called.
Okay. Bye.
Goddamn him.
- All done.
- Yeah. Thanks, To.
- Are you going to see your friend?
- Yeah.
I'm glad you have a special friend.
I get up at 7:00 in the morning
to drive an hour to work...
...to pay the mortgage
on this $3200 fucking house.
Meanwhile, you've had 12 hours
to fuck the neighbor.
I'm tired of hearing you talk
about the fucking mortgage.
We had rules about this shit.
This is not the same as before.
It is! Our rules were
if we have 3-ways, we're both there.
Otherwise, if I'm at work in my office,
that's cheating.
Let's not do this.
Do what? You're the one who's,
like, cheating all the fucking time.
I'm not cheating all the time. Why
do you keep accusing me of that?
- What, are you love with him?
- No, I'm not in love with him.
All right? He's just some kid.
I'm in love with you.
Didn't you notice
how big she was getting...
...when she wouldn't
get changed for basketball?
I heard that Herman moved
to San Diego.
Imagine having to leave town
because of her.
This could've happened
to any of us.
I know how close
I've come with Paco.
But at least some of us are
smart enough to take precautions.
Hello? Birth control.
How far have you gone with Manuel?
At least I'm not claiming to be a virgin
when I'm carrying a baby.
- Is that what she's saying?
- Yes.
Hail Mary, full of grace...
Hey, Magdalena.
You don't want to do that.
Not unless you have to.
What age did you leave school?
- When I was 12.
- Well...
That was the way it was.
We have to work for a living.
But I hate it right now, though.
I hate school. I hate Herman.
I hate this baby.
Don't leave school.
You will end up as menso as me.
You got a letter.
- Did you remember the toilet paper?
- No.
- I knew you wouldn't.
- Then why did you ask?
Is it in English, To?
It's from a lawyer.
"Pursuant to your lease of the rear unit
at 1023 Waterloo Street...
...you are hereby given
30 days notice of eviction.
You will be expected to vacate
the premises by June 30, 2005."
What's the matter?
To, they want us to leave.
The motherfuckers!
They want us to leave? Why?
Hey, puto!
Hey, puto, come out here, man!
Fucking evict me, bitch?
Get the fuck out here, puto!
What, are you fucking scared now?
Hey, puto! Get the fuck out here!
Fucking punk!
I told him you were from Jalisco
and guess what?
There's someone on the same floor
from there too.
You all right with these steps?
- It's good.
- He's fine.
Wasn't there anything
on the ground floor?
You heard the landlord.
The elevator's gonna be
working again tomorrow.
- It's not a problem. Right, To?
- No problem.
It's not bad. It's not bad at all.
Look, you have a nice big window.
I'll fix you curtains. Buttercup yellow,
to make it more cheerful.
Needs a new coat of paint.
Well, you can do that for him.
It'll take you all of a day.
To, we're gonna have to put some
of your stuff in storage...
...but I think it will be good
to go through some of your things.
I always tell my friends what a gentle
man he is, what a sweet man.
Who knew
he could be so stubborn?
Nothing we show him is
good enough. Nothing.
And when you try to talk about it,
he just doesn't hear.
He wouldn't even look at the one
Ernesto found for him.
You see?
But think how hard it must be.
Twenty-eight years.
I've never been more
than five years in one home.
That's you. You always
want something bigger.
I don't know how he's going
to sort through everything.
And then there are the dogs.
And Carlos, and Magdalena.
Hey.
You cold?
- No.
- Then what?
None of my clothes
fit me anymore.
Can't you get your folks
to give you some money?
No.
- Lf you told them what happened...
- Why should that be so important?
So they could hold their heads up
in church?
So I can be a good girl again?
It's so stupid.
I've got a shirt.
- I don't want your smelly shirts.
- It's extra large. It's brand new.
HOUSE FOR REN 2 BEDROOMS-BACKHOUSE NICE!
We re-did all the ceilings,
got rid of the cottage cheese.
Floors are refinished.
The appliances are new.
Cupboards are new.
And that's Travertine tile.
My partner put it in herself.
It's beautiful.
And you say it's just you
and your uncle.
- No, there are three of us.
- It might be cramped for three.
It's fine. Do you take pets?
If it's nice fellas like those guys,
no problem.
Great.
It's $ 1600 a month.
Wow.
Sorry, but we've put
a lot of money into it.
That's what I figured.
- You're not gonna make champurrado?
- Not today.
Wait till later. I'll help you out.
No, don't worry.
Okay. See you later.
Yeah, so he came, hit me,
did a hit and run...
...damaged this part, dented this.
I have to replace this and this.
I don't know how I'm gonna do it.
Don't even worry about it.
I got a guy who'll take care of it.
- Carlos, go do the Mustang.
- It's gonna be hard to take care of.
- Let me show you what we got.
- Okay.
It was just what we needed.
Yeah, we just laid around,
went shopping a little.
No, I love Palm Springs too.
It's better now. Gary seems happier.
He's starting a new job.
Yeah, he just...
He had too much time on his hands.
What the fuck
are you doing, Carlos?
Get him.
Hey. What happened?
- Did you get into another fight?
- Yeah.
I'll get some iodine.
Here. Sit down.
I'll put some ice on it.
You idiot.
- I lost my job.
- Great.
I needed to get out of there, anyway.
Shitty job.
- I thought it was your chosen career.
- Shut up.
I'm getting a real job in TV as a PA.
With your boyfriend?
- Fuck you.
- Hold still.
I'm gonna have to make more money
if we're gonna get a new place.
I've been thinking.
Herman's not coming back.
Someone's gotta take care of that kid
and be a father to him.
Might as well be me.
I'm gonna get a real job.
One that's not
a total fucking dead-end.
And you can stay in school,
and To Tomas can babysit.
- Yeah, right.
- I'm serious.
Yes, I'm calling about
the apartment.
Oh, that's too bad.
Yes. All right, thanks.
I know. I know. It's unbelievable.
Hold on. Hold on.
I called about the apartment.
Sorry, it's just been rented.
- How old are you?
- Almost 15.
- And how old is your uncle?
- Eighty-five.
I don't think
it's gonna work out, chica.
The front unit's already been taken,
but there's a place in the back.
I can let you have it for 400.
Look. I gotta think
about the dollars and cents here.
I have applications from qualified
professionals who want to rent it.
The whole neighborhood
is the same.
Everyone who moves in
is, well, white.
Does he work, your uncle?
Not really. He sells champurrado.
That little guy with the clown's horn?
My God, is he still around?
Yeah, he's doing great.
He gave me free champurrado once.
I don't believe this.
Apart from a great sense of continuity
with the past, what else is there?
- You mean money?
- Yeah.
The stuff that doesn't grow on trees,
makes the world go around.
Well, Carlos is unemployed
right now...
...but he's angling for a job in TV
that pays really, really well.
But look, if he does your gardening,
that saves you a $ 100 a month.
I can clean your house. That'll
save you another $ 100 a month.
Carlos.
What's going on?
- It's To Tomas.
- What?
He passed. Peacefully.
They took him away.
Look. The tangerine tree.
Remember how sweet
the juice was?
I cried when they had
to chop it down.
Is that Aunt Lucia there?
Yeah. But who's
that woman with her?
I don't know.
He had a long, happy life,
and in the end he didn't suffer.
It's the way he would have wanted it.
- He didn't want to move from here.
- No, he didn't.
Look at you. You're showing.
Non-penetrative conception
is a very unusual thing.
I've read about it,
but never encountered it...
...and I've been on staff here
for eight years.
But in her case,
the evidence is there.
There's no reason why
the birth shouldn't be...
...as trouble-free as
a normal conception.
It may be necessary
to physically break the hymen...
...closer to the actual
delivery date.
But that should be
a painless procedure.
You understand?
It's kind of neat what the guy did...
...but put a hot tub over here and
landscaping and it'll look awesome.
What do we do with this?
This morning,
a button came off my suit.
Could you sew it on for me
before the funeral?
Are you listening to me?
What's wrong with you?
Magdalena was telling the truth.
You saw Magdalena?
Today at Tomas'.
We went to the clinic together.
The doctor examined her and it's true.
She's never been with a boy.
What?
It's a miracle.
Tomas Alvarez was a good man.
A man who embodied
the Lord's commandments.
Especially the commandment
to love thy neighbor.
We can be sure
that in this moment...
...Tomas has gone to a better place.
Amen.
Before concluding our service...
...Carlos, the nephew of Tomas,
would like to say a few words.
Tomas Alvarez was born in Jalisco,
Mexico in 1921.
The 13th kid out of 22.
When he was born,
he was so small...
...the midwife said
he wasn't worth washing.
He ended up outliving all of them.
In his life, he was an office boy...
...a barber, and a farm worker.
Then in America,
he sold champurrado.
Everybody knew him.
If you walk down the street...
...he would stop every
two minutes to talk to someone.
They were always happy to see him.
He had a love inside him
that was so strong.
It came from his heart and out through
his eyes like a golden light.
Everybody could see it...
...because he loved everyone
and judged no one.
At the end of my life, I will count it
as my greatest privilege...
...that I knew a saint.
Because Tomas Alvarez
was a saint.
And he will not leave us.
His spirit is still strong.
He'll be with us
till the end of our days.
Your mother tells me
this is some kind of a miracle.
There's a scientific explanation.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
This wasn't his doing.
Everything is his doing.
Will you forgive me?
I'll make it up to you.
I promise.