...80, 81, 82, 83, 84...
- I can do it with my eyes shut.
Nearly there!
- Even your sister's better.
You nearly made it.
Gimme 5 euro.
Hey! I'll tell your father you eat pork!
Five euro. You, where's your five euro?
Come on, come on... Five...
Ten... Nice doing business with you.
Now fuck off!
Abdel, your mother asked...
- Don't talk about my mother!
She said you have to come in.
Go and tell her I'm helping
some old ladies carry groceries.
Hey, hey... Have one.
Off you go, douchebag!
You know what's funny?
First I saw her and thought: "Wow".
Then I saw you. Lovely!
But to be honest, she is prettier.
I'm only joking! You're both just as pretty.
I usually don't even fancy Moroccan girls.
I hope you don't mind me
being so honest?
No.
It's your own risk.
Friends are throwing a party
in some club. You should come too.
It's gonna be great.
Nice party.
- Thanks.
It took me a long time,
especially those decorations up there...
Dude...
A great party.
- Thanks, man.
My parents, only daughter,
you know how it goes.
Your sister looks lovely.
She's beautiful man...
Best day of her life. Or my parents' life
anyway. Everybody is here.
You'll see, people will start talking.
I was calculating. It must have cost
about 20,000 euro. Am I right?
How much the wedding cost your parents.
Food and drink for 200. Hotels...
Who cares, man?
Nice suit, by the way.
You think?
- Is it new?
Especially for today. Hugo Boss.
- Fuck off, real Hugo Boss?
Of course it's real.
Straight from Milan. Out of Mounir's trunk.
What did you give him?
- Two.
Two what? You gave him 200?
You still owe me 300!
Or did you forget?
You owe me 50 euro.
- Easy! Easy!
The suit hasn't been paid for, yet.
What are we doing tonight?
It's a kind of family day.
I promised to show the bridegroom's
two nieces around town.
Those twins?
- Country girls.
They'd even be impressed by Burger King.
I have to go to Morocco tomorrow.
- Why is that?
I only found out today.
My father sold the old taxi to a friend.
I have to take it.
What? Crazy. It's 3000 km.
What did you say?
I gave him an angry look and said: Yes dad.
I'm leaving at dawn.
- I'll come with you. I have no plans.
You don't need to.
- We'll take turns driving.
We can talk business on the way.
I have good news!
No man, my father told me
not to take you guys.
What did he say?
- You really want to know?
"Don't take the Tunisian and the clown."
- Did he call me Tunisian?
It's only business. I'll just
drop the taxi and fly home.
I'll be back in a few days to talk business.
Okay?
I can't change your mind?
Get off the hood. You'll dent it.
I couldn't find a cab.
Not in the car.
How was the rest of the party?
The party was great.
- It was?
Yeah. Cleaned up the mess,
woke up early.
Everyone was still asleep.
- Did you get any sleep?
No, you?
An hour.
I didn't sleep either.
Shit! The twins?
- I don't want to know.
You should, it's a great story.
- They're my in-laws now.
Let him speak!
It's bad enough that
he scandalised my family.
Don't bother, it doesn't work.
- There's a tape in it!
It's been in there since 2001.
It only receives AM channels.
AM channels? I don't know any of them.
Belgium
Do they know this car hasn't got airco?
- I don't know.
I only have to deliver it.
It's only been in Holland.
You don't need airco in Holland.
- But it's boiling in the fucking car.
Show some respect for this car.
It's put bread on the table for 15 years.
When my father bought this car, it was
the flashiest car in the neighbourhood.
Shouldn't we wake him?
- No, let him sleep off his hangover.
I've designed some logos.
Let's look at them later.
And I found a website to
get cheap T-shirts printed.
She's watching us, isn't she?
- Yep.
Let's do the stairs.
No, man.
Why not?
Never mind.
No.
Are you ready?
My hands are shaking.
It been years since I did that.
- Stay in shape, in case of war.
Zakaria and I do it once a month.
A Bifi?
Who's supposed to eat that?
- It was the first thing I could grab.
Just like you're with girls.
You'll go to hell twice for that.
Bifi. Beef, cow.
If you worry about hell,
I hope that woman doesn't lose her job.
Fuck her and her job.
She should have finished school.
You didn't finish school either.
- But I have a plan.
Look. Rafael van der Vaart.
Advertising Mars.
He didn't touch a ball in
the last World Cup...
...but made a fortune.
I should play for Holland too.
All those deals:
Nike, Coca Cola, Pringles...
You'd rather play for Holland
than Morocco?
The truth? Sure.
Morocco wasn't even in
the last World Cup.
We should make a change.
- Shit.
As long as the general selects the players,
we can't change anything.
Wouldn't you want to play for Holland?
My father would disown me.
Just like yours.
France
Wow. The Prince of Tunis awakes.
It's so fucking hot in the car.
Where are we?
- Northern France.
You slept for five hours.
- I did?
I have good news. I spoke to my uncle.
I explained our plan,
told him how motivated we are.
We get his Spuistraat location
in 4 months.
We pay a family price as rent.
Everything we need is already there.
It isn't perfect, but
with a coat of paint and DIY...
And if it works out, we'll refurnish.
- Spuistraat?
It's a difficult location,
facing McDonalds...
It's his only shop losing money.
- Why else would he rent it?
But we have a unique concept
to make a success of it.
I don't know, man.
You didn't say yes, did you?
- You know my uncle. He won't ask twice.
I'll take you along when we get back.
You can see what I mean.
You see that man? Let's ask him to join us.
No.
- Why not?
If you'd been alone, wouldn't you like
someone to invite you to join him?
Not really.
Hey, sir!
You want to...
You want to eat with us?
Are you Moroccans?
- Yes, we are Moroccans.
You?
- I'm Algerian.
I'm a Tunisian.
- Tunisia.
Beautiful country.
The maker of this meal
really loves you.
This was left from yesterday's wedding.
- Wedding?
Which of you got married?
The one with the suit?
- No, no, no.
My sister.
Your health.
Where are you going?
- Rabat.
We're taking that taxi.
A Mercedes 250.
You can drive through a wall
while you wipe the windscreen.
And you, where are you going?
- Back to my city. Annaba.
I delivered a load to Antwerp.
- It went well?
I've been driving this route for 15 years.
I can drive it with my eyes shut.
What were you carrying?
Life itself, my brother.
Dates.
The bread of the desert.
You know dates were
the first fruit ever cultivated?
Even the Babylonians
were mad about them.
My family has grown them for years.
It's a nice business.
Have you read the Koran?
It says that those
who start the day with seven dates...
...will not be harmed by magic or poison.
That's really good marketing.
You have a moment?
I'll fetch something for you. Wait...
These wonderful dates
are from my brother's garden.
They're not for sale.
Taste them.
Take them with you for on the way.
You know what I'll do first?
It's been ages.
Swim in the sea.
Rabat is near the sea, right?
- Sure. Morocco has wonderful beaches.
And you?
- I have a few appointments.
What kind of appointments?
- Things I have to do.
Like?
- Things for my father.
How long has it been
since you went to Tunisia?
About 6 years.
- I remember the last time you went.
You haven't been back? Why not?
You know, time, money... Things like that.
We used to go every summer by car.
By boat from Marseilles to Binzart.
And now?
My father can't drive that long.
His back?
- Yeah, his back...
He fucked up his back working in the factory.
For what?
To stay home, being declined, receiving
benefits.
Tickets are expensive,
so I told them to take my little brothers.
Get your driving licence, man.
- How?
It costs 2000 euro.
Where do I get that money?
And with a driving licence,
I'd have to drive people around all day.
If a "rich" family comes from Holland,
they have to pay for everything.
They don't understand
my parents are poor.
What's this?
It looks like a prison.
Fuck you guys.
I'm not sleeping up there.
I don't even fit. Come on Abdel,
you're small.
What's that?
- An alarm clock.
Why bring an alarm clock
on a holiday?
This ain't no holiday.
I'm going to look for a phone booth.
Have a shower and
I'll see you in 10 minutes by the car.
There's a phone here.
You know what that costs?
Hey, it's me.
Yes, it's fine.
Can I speak to Dad?
Dad!
I'm fine. You?
I've passed Lyon. Yes.
The car is fine, don't worry.
No, no problem. I'm just calling...
Did you speak to them today?
They're glad I'm coming? Yes, I'm too.
No, dad. No problem.
I know it's a good family.
Don't worry, my hair is fine. We're losing
the connection. My money's gone.
Love to mum. Bye.
These chairs aren't bad.
I'll be honest, I'm really enjoying this.
What?
- You know, the three of us.
France... It's been a long time.
I don't even mind the crap pizza and
the Turk pretending to be Italian.
There are less Italians
in the world than we think.
Half of them are really
Turks or Egyptians.
So there are even more Turks?
- I hope not.
What do you think?
What? I didn't follow.
- Never mind.
I designed some new logos. Check these.
You did it on the computer?
- Yes. Different colours so we can choose.
The red one is nice.
- That's good.
I'd be sure to visit there.
- Me too, it's the best one.
What do you think?
I don't know.
What don't you know?
The logo or the colour?
I'm too tired. Let's sleep.
We have to get up early tomorrow.
Take me to Rue de la Fontaine.
What?
Please take me
to Rue de la Fontaine.
This is no taxi. This is not a taxi.
Yes, it's a taxi.
Rue de la Fontaine, please.
What does she want?
- To go home. She thinks it's a taxi.
Tell her it isn't.
- I did. She doesn't understand it.
I think she's lost it.
And my French is...
- Just drag her out of the car.
Hell no! She must be at least 80.
What do you want to do?
- Come on, let's take her.
Where does this woman live?
There's nothing here.
Yeah, laugh about it...
Just watch the road.
We have to find our way back.
You're a good-looking boy.
What?
He's a pretty boy.
She finds you're handsome.
When I was young, I knew a soldier...
...who looked just like you.
He was a handsome boy.
All the girls in the village
were in love with him.
One day he gave me a piece of chocolate.
All my friends were jealous.
Next day he had left...
...and I never saw him again.
Yes, you remember me of him.
Zakaria, what did she say?
I don't know. I couldn't understand her.
Fuck! Boys...
I didn't hear the alarm clock.
Hey, get up!
Did you hear the alarm clock?
- No, man.
I switched it off.
What? When?
Last night.
- Why?
What d'you think?
Seven is way too early man.
Come on, man.
I want to shower first.
- Me too.
Didn't you shower last night?
- No.
What did you do while I was on the phone?
Watched TV.
Okay, have a shower, but hurry.
Where's breakfast then?
Let's try the supermarket.
- I'll drive.
Hey, you know...
- I'll ride shotgun.
You think this is nice on bread?
Honest?
- No, man.
And?
You look like a faggot.
How far have we got?
- Not far. We're here now.
I hope to reach Southern Spain tonight.
We'll sleep, drive to Algeciras,
take the boat and get to Rabat later.
Nearly halfway?
- No, we're not even in Barcelona.
With the boat trip and Morocco,
we've only done a third.
Don't get oil on the hood.
- Take it easy.
That's it. Let's hurry.
Shotgun!
- No, you already used shotgun once.
And?
- You can't use it twice a day.
Let alone twice an hour!
- You're joking?
The whole idea is you can use it all the time.
Talk to him!
You saw that girl?
No, no, no.
No way!
Why not?
It's not a good idea to take hitchers.
- What the fuck! You think she'll rob us?
He's only stopping because she's hot.
- And not a bearded man with axe?
That's not the point.
- You just want to stop because she's pretty!
Okay, this is the deal:
My friend in the back, he's scared...
...so promise us that
you won't rob, rape or kill us.
I won't.
If you guys promise me the same thing.
Take it easy!
Honest. If we want to do that,
wouldn't we drive around in a normal car?
Come on, it'll be a long time before
I'm Nadir.
- Hi, I'm Julie.
Nice to meet you.
I'm Zakaria.
And this is our Pakistani driver
Dooby Dooby.
I'm Abdel.
You know they were joking...
About me being scared?
Yeah, I know.
That's good, 'cos I'm not.
I'm just more cautious than these guys.
It's a crazy world.
You hear the craziest stories.
So, where are you from?
- Lyon. And you?
Holland.
Have you heard of
Hatem Ben Arfa?
No, no.
He's this great Tunisian soccer player,
played for Olympic Lyon.
Don't ask the girl about Tunisian football.
As if it even exists.
If it exists? Are you nuts?
- Are you nuts?
who fucked who?
You understand?
Don't pay any attention,
they're always like that.
Oh, I love that song.
Yeah, I love it too.
Yeah?
- Yeah you like it too?
What's it about?
What's the song about?
What are you doing?
- What's it about?
It's just a nice song you know, my mother
used to play it, it reminds me of her.
Yeah...
Spain
Good afternoon. What would you like?
- Coffee with milk.
For me as well, with extra sugar.
I'll have a coke.
A cafe con leche and a coke.
Gracias.
So you speak Spanish?
- Just a bit.
I used to live in Barcelona for a year.
- Barcelona. How's Barcelona?
It's lovely. It's one of the most
beautiful cities in the world.
Have you ever been there?
- No.
I still have some friends there,
so I try to visit them every 6 months.
That's cool.
So, how long are you going to stay?
Well, I don't know.
So, you guys are really going to Rabat?
Yes, he is bringing
that old taxi and we join.
Nice. You must be really good friends.
Yeah. We're friends now
for seventeen years.
Grew up in the same neighbourhood.
And now you're on holiday together?
- No, it's not a holiday.
They weren't even invited. They just came.
- Well, that's...
Can't we take her to Barcelona?
- No, man.
Why not?
We're passing by, we can drop her and visit?
- No time.
So we'll really pass one
of the most beautiful cities?
Have any of you been there?
- No.
Me neither.
- So what.
I've only ever been to Tunisia.
To my grandma's village.
In France all we saw was a prison hotel,
a pizzeria, and a supermarket.
Come on, man.
Just two hours.
We'll drop her, walk round
for two hours, that's it.
Then we have to drive fast. I want to
hit Algeciras tonight. It's 1000 km.
Where do you need to be in Barcelona?
Oh, in El Born.
It's in the centre, but you know, the party
is kind of late, so I'm not in a rush.
It's an anniversaire surprise.
A what?
- An anniversaire surprise.
You know, if somebody gets home
and it's all dark and...
...when the light goes on
there are all these people?
Sounds like a robbery.
- No it's not!
There are friends and they have gifts
and cakes and they all shout: Surprise!
A surprise party!
- Yeah that's it.
Anyway, the party doesn't
start until ten, so...
...if you want,
I can be your guide in Barcelona...
...as a thank-you for the ride.
That would be really nice.
What do you guys do in Holland?
I just finished an economics degree.
And well...
...right now, I'm kind of doing nothing.
I work at my uncle's restaurant.
Restaurant?
- Kebab restaurant. What?
We sell dner, we sell kebab...
My uncle has four shops.
- I love that stuff.
You do?
- Yeah, why?
You don't look like a girl
who would eat it.
And you?
- Me?
I love it. Yeah.
I get it free when he's working.
No, what do you do?
I'm in between jobs now.
Just work a bit here, bit there, sometimes.
The three of us are opening
our own business soon.
Yeah? What kind of business?
- It's a restaurant.
But it's a revolutionary concept so...
I can't tell you more.
I get it. It's okay.
- Sorry.
What do you do?
I just finished my second year of art
history. Just two more years to go.
Art history. Is there any money in it?
Good money.
No.
You can work in a museum or teach art
in a high school, but...
...I'm not really sure I wanna go
and do that, so.
Okay listen you guys,
I know that you are in a hurry.
But you should actually come to the party.
Julie!
I'm glad you could come.
Raoul will be thrilled.
Yeah I know!
These are my friends.
Nadir, Abdel and Zakaria.
Paco.
Paco.
Here, these are for the party.
They are very special dates from Algeria.
Did you bring them from Algeria?
No, we got them from
a man we met in France.
He brought them from Algeria.
Okay, I know exactly
what to do with these.
Don't...
Look...
He's putting pork in and then around them.
You can load them in a gun
and shoot Muslims.
Do you want some?
Yeah thanks.
I heard you guys drove
Julie all the way from Lyon.
That is so sweet. Julie is my best friend.
Nice, she's a nice girl.
Don't interrupt, dear.
I'm chatting up these streetkids.
You are? I'd love to do terrible things
to the one on the right.
Everybody thinks you guys are
adorable.
Very, very.
So... have fun.
- Yes, yes. Thank you.
I really don't want to know what he said.
If one of those faggots touches me,
I'll explode.
You are very, very...
Is he drinking wine?
Really!
This way we'll never get to Rabat.
Never mind. It'll do him good.
There's a group going to a club.
I said we'd come along.
Are you kidding?
You aren't in a hurry?
It's too late to drive now anyway.
There's a cheap hostel nearby.
If we set out at dawn...
...we'll easily catch the last boat.
Okay.
What kind of party is it?
- Huh?
It's not a...
Is it a gay party, moron?
- Of course not.
Wait, I'll just check.
What kind of music do they play?
- No idea.
Tribal house.
Alternative shit.
- How do you know?
I read it somewhere.
- Where?
No idea. Somewhere.
Oh no, I saw it on a TV program. With that
guy...
Which one?
The one with the bleached hair.
That faggot.
You can't wear those.
- What?
Ah sorry sir, we don't speak Spanish.
It's not possible with sport shoes.
We came with the others.
They all have sport shoes.
Come on, let's go.
They are with us.
They're our Dutch guests.
Are you sure?
- Yes.
Okay, quickly. But no trouble.
- Of course.
Guys, come on.
- Yes?
Hey.
Okay, let me guess,
you're not the dancing type?
No, I'm not.
What's your favourite painting?
That's a hard question.
You have ten seconds.
Can I pick two?
- No.
Time's up.
Then I'd have to say, Guernica by Picasso.
Do you know it?
- No.
What's so special about it?
Oh I don't know.
It's big... And there are
so many things happening, it's...
...You can watch it for hours,
Like a movie.
Nice.
What's yours?
I don't have one.
Then what's your favourite movie?
Oh that's easy! The Godfather.
Best movie ever made!
Yeah, that's my favourite movie too.
You're just saying that right?
- No, I don't.
Why would I do that?
- I don't know.
Okay, then ask me a question.
Anything about the film, come on.
Okay.
What's the name of the hitman
who works for Vito Corleone?
That's the question?
It's too easy.
It's Luca Brasi.
Here you are.
I didn't see you anywhere.
We wanted some fresh air, ciggie.
Me and...
So, me and Nadir wanted to go
out and check the harbour.
You want to join us?
I think we go dancing inside a little bit.
You just go. Have fun.
Are you guys sure?
- Yeah, we are sure.
I'll see you at the hostel.
You know where it is?
- Move on.
Asshole.
- For real.
Come on, let's go inside.
What?
Shoes...
We were already inside.
- What's his problem?
Nothing.
We were inside with Paco.
The guy with the glasses, the gay.
C'mon, just let us in.
- No, walk!
We came in with Paco.
Hey, hey, come on!
You know when I was younger,
I used to love these.
And you know what the stupid thing was?
You'd eat the ice cream fast to get to the
chewing gum. You'd be really happy, but...
...wouldn't enjoy the ice cream and
the chewing gum is the world's cheapest.
After you chewed it twice
it lost all its flavour.
But still. I haven't seen them
for ten years at least.
But you don't know if he
still has them or has them again.
What's the difference?
Well, if you wake up and
start puking out your guts...
...you'll know he didn't sell
the last two in that box.
If you don't, they're probably back.
Yes.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Have you ever noticed that
your left-eye is a little...
How do you say it?
- Un strabisme. Cross-eyed.
Cross-eyed.
- Yeah. I know. But nobody ever notices.
I saw it in the car this morning.
But it wasn't polite to say it to a stranger.
- So we aren't strangers anymore then?
Not really. We drank from the same cup
and I even met your best gay friends.
That's pretty intense where I'm from.
You okay?
- Sure, man.
You took a good punch, eh?
The fat motherfucker wouldn't
lie down, would he?
You saw that K1 kick I gave him?
- No man.
Is it bad?
- Yeah man.
So why don't you know
how long you'll stay here?
Well, because basically
I have no place to be after this summer.
What about school?
- I'm not going back there.
Why not?
It's useless. I don't want to read
about old paintings for two more years...
...so I can spend the rest
of my life working in a museum.
I want to do something with my life.
Like what?
I'm not sure yet.
I just don't want to wake up one morning
when I'm 43 realising I spent...
...the last 20 years
looking at old pictures...
I mean, for example...
...what if the world fell apart?
And only me and 50 others survived.
We would have to rebuild it.
So, how could I contribute?
I would be really lucky if they found
some old half-burned paintings.
Well, the same counts for me, I mean...
...what would I do?
You guys could still open your restaurant.
It would be the only one on the planet,
so it would be a huge success.
It really is a nice city.
Thanks for showing us today.
- Thanks for bringing me here.
You should do this more often.
- What?
Things you didn't plan.
They are the most fun.
I know.
But it's just not really me.
That's not true. You could have been gone
for hours, but you're still here.
So this is it.
Do you want to come up for some tea?
Quite a good joint here.
Not too big, not too small.
Those Pakistanis understand.
Great location, close to clubs.
You like the lighting?
It's too bright, eh?
We don't need that in our place.
How's your kebab?
Not bad.
A little greasy, lots of lettuce.
I think the Spaniards like it that way.
I can't find the tea.
- That's okay. I wasn't thirsty anyway.
Sorry.
I shouldn't do that.
No?
Why not?
It's eh...
It's complicated.
Eh... I just can't explain.
Then try.
I don't know.
You know what that cab is?
It's a gift, from my father
to one of his oldest friends.
And so?
This friend happens to have a daughter
who just turned 18 last month.
Is she your girlfriend?
- No.
I've never even met her.
But I will, in a couple of days.
And, if everything turns out okay,
we'll be engaged.
Do you have to marry her?
No, I don't have to marry her.
It's just...
...well she's supposed to be a good wife.
And what do Abdel and Zakaria
think about it?
They don't even know.
That's the fucked up part of it.
They think that
we are just delivering the cab.
But the truth is, I took a job somewhere.
So I won't start
this business with them, either.
They just weren't supposed to come.
I should have been here by myself.
To have some time to think...
...about how to bring the news and...
...when I got back there'd be a deal
and I could tell them.
Now I don't know
what to do about it.
It seems you've made up your mind.
I have.
It's just a strange situation.
They decided to come along and...
...well, now I met you.
And all of this wasn't supposed to happen.
What the fuck are you doing here?
Hey man.
You slept here all night?
No, first we were in the Hilton.
Then we came here fast
so you could tap on the window.
And the hostel?
Closed.
Fucked up.
Here. I brought coffee.
What the fuck happened to your eye?
What?
What's with your eye?
- My eye? What?
Don't be so dumb. It's all swollen and red.
- No idea, bumped into something.
We're surely not leaving now?
- I want to catch the last boat at 8.
So? Are you gonna tell us
what happened last night, or what?
We slept in the car for him and
he won't say what happened?
Of course something happened.
He stayed all night. He smells of chick.
Fuck off, man.
He's right. You smell of chick.
At least tell me if it's true
what they say about French chicks.
What about French chicks?
- 1: They don't shave their armpits.
Don't talk about her like that.
Nadir and Julie, sitting in a tree...
Idiots!
Did you go downtown?
Did you do this?
You did?
- Did you give her a bit of that?
Talk to us!
Doggie style? You did it like doggies?
Did you? From behind?
I'm not saying a thing.
- Fuck.
Who's iPod is that?
What?
Whose iPod is that?
What?
Are you messing with me?
Whose iPod is that?
This one?
- Yeah, that one.
It's mine.
- A pink iPod?
It's my sister's.
And you had it all along?
- Yes.
What are you doing?
You listen to Spanish music?
- It's great music.
Shall I call to see if it's theirs?
Go on then.
- Okay.
We just passed a phone box.
- What?
Ok. Maybe it belongs to one of those Spanish
guys.
I saw it. It looked like mine.
So what? It was an accident.
You should be ashamed.
- Oh no.
Fuck.
Okay, keep calm.
Passports.
Dutch, eh?
You don't look Dutch.
Where are you going?
What happened to his eye?
Sorry sir, we don't speak Spanish.
No hablo espaol.
Martinez...
Step out of the car.
Get out of the car!
You here, you there!
Hey hey, easy.
- What hey? And you there!
Just there, or what?
Why your Tunisian passport?
- It's all I had.
Your knife?
- In my shoe.
Sshhh, silence.
Who is the owner of the car?
I am. It's my father's car.
Sergeant.
Come and have a look.
What are they doing?
They're sniffing something.
- What?
You didn't bring anything, did you?
- No. What could it be?
What is this?
Keep cool, this isn't Holland,
they're real motherfuckers.
What is this?
It's food to eat!
- What?
It's food to eat?
The mirror is broken.
Now you get a...
What's it called? "Multa"?
A ticket.
You get a ticket.
- What mirror is broken?
This one.
You pay now. 50 euro.
Chris Zegers.
What?
The TV presenter I mentioned yesterday.
When that motherfucker floored me I
remembered. Chris Zegers.
What are you doing?
These pants are too hot.
And?
The last boat is full.
- And now?
I booked for the first boat
in the morning.
What time are we in Tangier?
One o'clock.
If we're lucky,
we'll be in Rabat at about six.
What time's the appointment?
Six o'clock.
That's perfect.
How does it look?
Tell me.
- It's great, man.
Let's go to the beach.
Why not? It's nice weather.
We can't go on anyway.
Hello Dad.
It's fine.
I just arrived in Rabat.
Yes, it's hot.
Rabat is beautiful.
The boat? It was very busy.
Very busy.
No, Dad. Don't worry,
the car is still fine.
Yes.
Tonight?
I'm tired... I'm going to bed early.
Okay.
That's fine, Father.
Goodbye. Love to Mum.
Bye bye.
What?
Since when it's strange
to take swimming trunks to Morocco?
Sometimes I wonder if we grew up in the same
hood.
The last in the water is a douchebag.
On clear days, you can see Morocco.
Give me your towel.
Your towel.
- It's wet.
Otherwise I'll take your shirt.
I got a job offer and I said yes.
- Huh?
I said: I was offered a job
and I said yes.
I'm starting next week.
Where?
Where I did my internship.
I'll help with the bookkeeping.
You said that company
was so boring?
Yes, it is.
But I can make something of it.
And I need the money.
That's nice, what about our business?
We can't do it without you. You're
the only one who can do the paperwork.
Or did your father arrange that too?
Leave my father out of it.
My father is only interested in helping me.
And don't start about our business.
Two years talking for nothing.
Suddenly you agreed to some location.
That's ridiculous.
- Nothing?
What about the logos?
- That took you half an hour.
I mean when we were going to
the Chamber of Commerce.
You didn't turn up. And the bank account.
You were to sign four months ago.
I'm busy. Working.
- A 4-day week and you live around my corner.
That's what I mean: all bullshit.
- Easy.
Timing has to be right.
It'll never be right.
I don't want to rely on people
who don't keep their side of the deal.
I don't want to be irritated
for the next 10 years...
...because you didn't organise things
and you disappeared for days.
A while back I realised
what this plan is:
It's an excuse to do nothing.
All the time we discuss it,
we don't need to do anything else.
Because we're so busy
setting up our business.
"Nadir, how about these chairs?
We'll fold the napkins in four."
"We'll only have solid gold toilet seats."
Come on. Admit you're a loser.
A loser?
You desert us and call me a loser?
Don't you agree?
My father said it when I was eight.
And here you are.
You're 22 and work part-time
in your uncle's snack bar.
You didn't finish school and
in two years that business got no closer.
Ho, that's enough.
- That goes for you too.
You don't even have a job with your uncle.
You just go along because
you always do go along with us.
I don't even know what job you could do
if we ever did open the joint.
You have no work experience.
I don't know what you're good at.
Yeah. Chasing after chicks. Borrowing money.
Smoking. Drinking. Wake with a hangover.
And don't start about your father.
He's not the reason
you didn't go to Tunisia. You are.
Everyone knows you made
a girl pregnant there. Coward.
Coward? Coward?
You have a big mouth.
You don't even dare tell us you're going
to Morocco to meet your future wife.
You thought we didn't know?
We only came to take the car?
We don't have anything better to do?
We came along 'cos we're worried
you might do something crazy.
But all that worried me recently
was when you'd be honest.
How can you talk about trust?
You're the one who betrayed the trust
of your friends in the last few days.
I never lied to you guys.
Telling us what to do! Look at yourself!
Your dad organises your job and wife!
I'd rather be a loser who wastes his life
instead of letting others do it.
Carry on. Do your thing.
At least your father doesn't need to worry
about two losers at the next wedding.
Salam Aleikum.
Salam...
And?
Going home, or on holiday?
A bit of holiday, a bit of family.
I want to tell you a story.
One day I sat here and saw
a guy your age pacing nervously.
I didn't understand the problem.
When he realised I was watching,
he came over.
He said hello and asked for a light.
I couldn't help.
He took out some matches,
so it was just an excuse to start talking.
He asked what the world was like
on the other side.
I told him that what you're looking for
defines what it would be like.
I asked him who he was with. He said
he came with the other guys from his village.
They were excited,
ready for a great adventure.
They only talked about Mercedes cars
and blonde women.
They came aboard, went off and
I didn't see him for a while.
Years later, the man came again.
This time with a car.
I saw in his face
that time had changed him.
On the back seat was a colour television.
They weren't very common back then!
I remember it said: Philips..
...in bright shiny letters.
He went to his village and
when he returned...
...a young woman had taken the place
of the television.
The next year, he didn't come.
But he did the year after.
He came in a much bigger car.
On the roof were a fridge,
washing machine, bicycle and toilet.
He'd brought anything he found.
His wife was in the back with a little boy.
A few years later, I saw him again.
The roof was packed again
and the backseat full of little children.
And he was happy. Why?
Because he'd saved money to build
a house in his village for his future.
He came back at the start of a new
summer. His first son was as big as you.
He was still happy. His house was finished
and he even planned a swimming pool.
I asked: "You have a swimming pool
on the other side too?"
He asked if I was joking. The only
swimming pool there were the drops...
...falling from the leaking kitchen ceiling.
He spent the summer with his family.
But when they came back,
he didn't get out of the car.
He looked exhausted.
His eldest son drove the car.
And about three or four months later...
...I saw his son push a coffin
onto the boat.
Then I knew his father had died.
From the moment he boarded, the son stayed
with the coffin until we moored.
While he sat there, he phoned
the workers digging the swimming pool.
He told them to stop and
dig a grave for his father.
The poor man, God rest his soul.
Time flies. I'm going back to work.
I can't make you change your mind?
Nope.
Then get off the hood. You might dent it.
Morocco
What's the time?
We'll make it easy.
Stop for a smoke?
Let's have a bite to eat.
- We're nearly there.
Don't lie. It's a few more hours.
- So we're nearly there.
Turn it up! Turn it up!
Hurry up, friend!
- Relax, this is Morocco.
Hi.
Neuken in de keuken?
Cigarettes?
Chewing gum?
Hash?
- Get lost before I call your father!
Father dead, mother dead. All dead.
He can do it in any language.
Tu parles Franais?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?
Buy something or leave him alone.
Okay, give me a pack of Marlboro.
- 50 dirham.
What? Way too expensive!
You think I shit money?
Whatever. I don't care.
I have plenty of customers.
How much?
- Just for you: 40 dirham.
- Too much?
You never went out with a girl?
You won't get anywhere on 40 dirham!
- Here you are: 3 euro.
What use is that to me?
- Give him another 50 cents. Here. Okay?
Fuck.
What's up?
That little rat ripped me off.
He sold me an empty package.
Salam...
- Salam...
Fill it up?
- Yes, please.
Plenty of time.
You can relax a bit.
I'm glad we are here.
It's a pity about that mirror.
Forgive me, can I ask something?
Sure...
You know a garage near here?
- Why? You have a problem?
We need a mirror.
You can only get mirrors like that
from Crazy Karim.
Is it far?
No, it's not far. But difficult to find.
We'll never make it, man.
Why's it difficult?
Trust me.
The destination is difficult
to explain to foreigners like you.
Why?
- There are no street names.
You'll never find him.
And I warn you. Don't take this car.
It's much too good looking.
But if you take someone from here...
...you might make it.
- What would someone like that cost?
I'll come for 200 dirham.
- Are you crazy? That's too much.
Look. I'll give you 100 dirham.
No more, no less.
Will get there for 150...
Okay, 150 is fine.
Give me the money.
I have to see the mirror first.
I don't know. Crazy Karim.
What kind of name is that?
It's just Crazy Karim.
Everyone has a nickname.
You know how many Karims live here?
It's like in Holland. "All the best from Mo."
- "Mo, which Mo?"
"Mo from the square."
- "No, Mo the barber."
"Yes, that Mo."
Barber sounds better than Crazy though.
Would you let Mo cut your hair
if he was called Crazy Mo?
You have to turn right.
Get out.
What?
- A barber. We'll pick you up in 30 min.
Why?
You look as if you slept
in the car for three days.
Should I shave your head, face or both?
Only my face. I don't have much time.
- Okay.
You're not from here. You talk different.
I'm from Holland.
My father is from here.
I thought so. Why come to Rabat?
I'm with two friends and the car.
We just arrived.
But if a man comes to the most beautiful
city on earth, Rabat...
...and goes straight to the barber,
there can only be two reasons.
Either he's looking for a job,
or he's looking for a pretty girl.
But as they all leave here
looking for work...
...it must be a pretty girl that brings you.
That's right.
What's her name?
Yasmine.
A beautiful name. Her father
must be an intelligent man.
Don't be afraid. You see
that ugly man there?
I cut his hair for 40 years and
his wife still thinks he's attractive...
...so I'll make you look handsome too.
You'll drive the girl crazy.
What's he doing?
He won't get out.
Buy a car?
What's all this?
- Are you Karim?
What do you mean Karim?
- Crazy Karim!
Are you messing with me?
What do you want from Crazy Karim?
A mirror.
- Just a mirror?
Yes.
- Is that all you want?
A mirror!
Why do you talk so strangely?
Where are you from?
- We're from Holland, look!
Holland?
Bis-Bis!
Bis-Bis!
Hurry up!
You move like a cockroach on its back.
- Yes.
Next time I say "B", you have to come...
...before I say the "is"!
Yes, sir.
Never make me wait again.
Look at the mirror.
Look at the mirror, boy. You've seen it?
Go and steal one from Gnaoui's Garage.
And bring it straight back.
So you're from Holland?
So tell me... Holland...
They make cars there?
No, nothing.
This beauty queen...
How much do you want?
It's not for sale.
We only need a mirror.
I'll give you a million francs.
I'll give you 1.5 million!
- I said it's not for sale.
Christ. Take it easy.
How much for the mirror?
Why are you looking at their car?
You want a lift?
Get lost or I'll smash your face.
Here's the mirror.
Come on.
Check if it's any good.
How much?
- 400 dirham.
We have euros.
- That's nice.
- It's not the same.
It's not the same?
- No.
Okay, come on.
- How much?
Give me 40.
It's a real 50 euro note!
Beautiful, eh?
How about...
...a piece of hash.
Heavens above! A very special kind.
If you only sniff it, you fly like a sputnik.
I swear. But if you smoke it...
If you smoke it, you'll believe
in no time that you're that mirror.
You want some?
But listen... A nice piece of hash...
...and I'll throw in a T-shirt too.
Nice.
- Thanks.
Let's have a look...
You look fine.
Here.
Keep it. It suits you.
Really?
- Yes, man.
They'll know you wear expensive suits.
We'll be around the corner. By the cafe.
You sure you want to do it?
- Yes.
Okay.
Hey, get over here.
I'll miss you, man.
All right, hurry up.
Come here.
Hey...
Thanks.
Go on man, before you start crying.
Who's there?
- It's Nadir.
Welcome, welcome.
How are you? Everything okay?
I'm fine.
You're late.
- Sorry, I couldn't find the street.
What happened to your lip?
- I banged it.
Oh yes, the car.
It's a gift to you from my father.
Thank you.
One can't often give away
valuable things in life.
So if one does...
...he has to be sure to give it to the right
one.
Come in. You are welcome. Come.
I want to introduce you to Nadir.
He came from Holland to visit
and bring a gift from his father.
Welcome. Sit down.
I'll introduce you to the family.
This is my eldest son Anas.
This is his wife Nora.
They have a son Adil,
but he's outside.
This is my second son Naufal.
This is his wife.
They just got married. Samira.
This is my brother.
This is my sister. These are my parents.
This is my mother.
May God give her strength.
This is my father.
May God give him strength too.
This is my wife, Khadija.
And the blossom of my house, Yasmine.
Sit down. Come.
Khadija, pour him some tea!
Help yourself.
Congratulations. I hear you graduated.
Yes, I studied economics.
- Wonderful.
And? You liked it?
- Yes. Very much.
It's a study with great prospects
for the future.
I hear it's not easy to get a job
in Holland since the crisis.
What can I say...
- You have a plan?
A plan?
When I go back to Holland,
I'll work for my father's friend's company.
He imports Arabic products.
He has no son, so he teaches me.
So you'll take over the company?
- Maybe. No idea.
Have some food!
I heard you had a difficult journey.
Yes, I lost lots of time.
An accident happened, or something.
And I had police problems in Algeciras.
- Police?
What did the police want?
- They found my mother's food in the car.
They threw it on the ground
and left me without food.
They always do that to us!
Have you seen anything of the city?
No, I haven't seen the city yet.
If you like, I can send Yasmine
to show you around.
It's beautiful here.
- Yes, beautiful.
You have a very nice family.
- Thank you.
Your house is beautiful too.
You know what this reminds me of?
The Godfather.
There's a scene just like this.
When Michael Corleone
meets that girl in Sicily.
He takes her for a walk,
just the way we are walking.
I don't think I saw the film.
- You mean that?
It's a great film.
- That's nice.
Can I be honest with you?
What are we doing here?
I don't know you...
You don't know me.
I came here to please
my parents and yours.
I thought everything would fall
into place here. But the opposite is true.
Now I'm sure I don't want this.
And you? If you're honest..?
You're a good girl and you're clever.
You're only doing this
to please your parents, right?
What a relief.
How could I say I didn't want
to get engaged?
I have already registered to study
after the summer.
It's not that I don't like you.
You seem very nice.
You're not like the macho guys
who come here, showing their fast cars.
A nice guy?
I'm a great guy, you mean!
What shall we do now?
I don't know yet.
Let's pretend we're having
a serious conversation.
And later I'll find a way
how to explain it to your father.
Do you like Rabat?
- It's beautiful.
Indeed.
You should buy a house for the summer.
- If God wills.
You're a good kid.
Your father is very lucky.
My children are also good.
I never worry about them.
For instance Anas, he's my pride and joy.
The business has grown
since he joined us.
And Naufal. We'll open a business
for him soon.
But Yasmine... She...
She has a will of her own.
She needs a man with a backbone,
one who knows what's going on.
Don't get me wrong.
She has brains, but sometimes
she wants more than is good for her.
A clever woman is good.
I'm looking for a girl
from a good home who's clever.
She can help me start my business.
Your business?
Yes.
You said you'd take over
from your father's friend?
My father's friend's company will help me
set up my own business.
Tell me more about it.
My plan is very spectacular.
If the first business works out well...
...I'll open a second.
...the third and the fourth
maybe here in Rabat.
What kind of business
do you want to open in Rabat?
What is this?
Kebab Sutra.
And explain to me
what Kebab Sutra is?
This is the plan. It's wonderful.
You know all the Dutch are the same.
If they go out, they want two things.
Sex and kebabs.
They usually can forget sex fast
so what's left? Kebabs.
I swear it, if you could see the Dutch...
When they're drunk,
they just eat, eat, eat.
My plan: two birds with one stone.
Delicious kebabs for a reasonable price...
...served by...
...topless women.
When I say topless, I mean naked.
You know Pamela Anderson?
The interior, how should I put it...
A bit like Arabian Nights but modern.
The menu is also crazy.
You can choose from: Kebab 69...
...kebab on the beach...
...kebab happy-end.
Believe me, my business
will be a success!
Did you bring the taxi keys?
- No.
How we getting home?
- I'm not going home. I'm going to Barcelona.
I'm going to Tunisia.
It's close by anyway.
And you?
- I'm going back.
I'll open the business in four months. You
have 2 weeks to get back. I can't do it all.
And otherwise we'll re-distribute the shares.
Let's go find a cab.