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Rainbow Time (2016)
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Rainbow time. Damn it. Hey, are you awake? Lindsay, are you awake? Hm? Do you remember the first time we held hands? We were walking into that diner after staying up all night together. Hm. I just... Never thought I'd... Find someone like you. Well, me too, sweetie. Probably my brother again. We should go if we want to be on time. Okay? I love you. I love you. Hey... Hey, bro. Um, can you please call me back, and let me know that you're bringing a tape? Also, ask Lindsay if she's cool with being in it. Maybe she doesn't mind doing some nudity? Some tasteful nudity? For the scene. It would be good for the story. Just kidding, bro, all right? Don't... Don't worry. I mean, unless she really wants to. I don't know, maybe she's kind of a... A little freaky. All right, well, please call me back. This is shonzi. Duh. Rainbow time. Hey... What's that? Oh, Gretchen, my boss, posted the video we made. Oh, cool. Yeah, but some of these comments are... Really crazy. Damn it, dude. He keeps calling 'cause he wants to... Wants us to shoot this stupid movie with him. Oh, he's just so excited, it's cute. You know why? 'Cause you're gonna be there, it has nothing to do with me. Just so you know, I'm warning you. Now, what is his... Challenge again? I can't remember. Is it down's? No, no, he's just a little slow, and in the womb, he didn't get enough oxygen because of his umbilical cord or something wrapped around his neck. -Oh. -Ah, yeah. Well, there's also... Also, there was this... Incident when we were kids. He likes to hold that over me. What happened to him? I ran him over, in a car... Oh, Todd! I know. I was playing in my dad's car, I didn't see him behind it. Why was he behind it? 'Cause he was humping the ground. Oh, hi, shonzi. What do you want? Ew! Get out of here! Wait, but I really like you. I saw you laughing at me with those girls. You were pretending that you liked me? And you're just trying to mess with me. And that's not cool. Oh, I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you. What do you have in mind? Here. Mm. Hey... Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, if my dad asks us to stay the night, let's just say that we have something early in the morning, and we can't, please? -Okay. -Okay. I know that you're stressed out about this, but if you think you're gonna have a bad time, then you probably will. You don't know shonzi. He's a lot. He's a lot. -He's a lot? -Yeah. Well, did you use the essential oil blend that I made you? -No. -No? I think I left it at home. - We should go back. No, I know you're kidding. It's very funny, but it does actually really help. Yeah. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh... Hey! You can't just barge in, dad! You're in here playing with your fuckin' dolls? I asked you to help me an hour ago. I asked you to straighten up. Yeah, well, I'm working on the movie that I'm gonna make with Todd and Lindsay. Please, tonight, can we just have a nice, normal dinner? Dad, we're gonna have a normal dinner, all right? But we're working on this movie, and you gotta give me time for that. -I'll get that, all right? -Wait, no... Dump the garbage, take my jacket off. -Well, I got... -Take it off! I got to do something. We don't want any. - Oh... Very funny, dad, okay... - Hi. -Welcome, welcome. -Come on in. -Good one. Thank you. Welcome to our humble abode. -Oh, wow. -Hey, dad. Todd, good to see you. You too. So, this is Lindsay. -Hi. -Hey, Lindsay. -So nice to meet you. -Yeah. Good to meet you. Hi! Now I know why you haven't been answering my calls. - Wow! - Would you like a glass of wine? - Sure. - -That'd be great. Good idea, dad. Yeah, this is my brother, Shaun. Or shonzi. Or Arthur shonzarelli. Okay, great. -Come here. -Hi... So nice to finally meet you, shonzi. Dude, look at this hug. - I'm looking at it. -Oh, man. Something's happening here. Begin an erection... What took you so long? Did you get the tape? What tape? I don't know what tape you're talking about. - Good one. -Thanks. You're very brave. I would not get into a car with this guy. You know, he ran my head over? I heard about that. Wow! Not even two minutes, and you brought that up. Well, I'm sorry. When you get your head run over, it's a little hard not to forget! - Okay. - -Yeah, I bet. Don't worry, I'm still pretty cool. Like the fonz. -Hey... -Yes, hey... -Does that say "ah?" -Oh, my gosh! It says, "ah." Uh, no. It says, "hey..." I'm pretty sure it says, "ah..." What, 'cause of the "h"? Yeah, 'cause of the a-h-h. It looks awesome. Ahh-some. Ahh-some. - Yeah. - -Or a-some. All right, all right, you got me. I spelled it "ah..." As a joke! I thought that'd be funny if he's like, "ah!" - It's funny. - -It is funny. Yeah, that was the joke. - All right. - -Okay. I got the first shot set up. Okay. I'm back! How did you find me? Never mind how I found you. Tell me where she is. Don't even think about it. What the... Hey... -Ow! -Oh... Dude, not so fuckin' hard. Sorry! Don't break character, though. You're gonna break the glasses. Take 'em off, then. Don't take them off. - Yeah. -They look so cool. Really? - I don't know. - I think they look really cool. I think they look sexy. Here, switch with me. No, you can't, it's not going to match the stuff we already shot. I don't care, i wanna wear them. Okay, whatever. Do I look good? - Yeah. -You look great. Tell me where she is. Jesus Christ. Please don't kill me. Too late. Here's your stupid glasses back. Now, does it match? Hey... Lindsay. Dude, you just threw those glasses at me. You shouldn't have glasses on right now. Lindsay. Lindsay! Oh, there you are. What did he do to you? Help! Are you all right? Oh. Shonzi, thank you so much. You're welcome. Now for my reward. And cut. -Good. -What? That was great. They gotta kiss. Maybe we could... Hey, guys! Dinner's ready. Special with the shonzi. Oh yeah. That was a long hug. I was just trying to be friendly. - Yeah, I know. - I would not do that. I could steal her away from you. I know you could. Oh, my god. You guys are so cute in these pictures. I'm the cute one. You're both cute. -Hear that? -Yeah. Oh... This is so sweet. Me and gilma in palm Springs. Yeah. Before she got sick. I'm really sorry for your loss. Thank you. So I got a new iPhone, and I was thinking i could give you my old one. -What? -Yeah. The iPhone 5? The 5s. Dude, are you serious? Yeah. Any videos of Lindsay on here? No. All right, photos? Shut the fuck up. Just change the subject, what are you doing? I just want to know you're happy, everything good? -Yeah. -Yeah? Yeah, we're fine. How long you guys been together? Officially, um, six months. But a little longer. I mean, we knew each other before that, when she had a husband. Oh, whoa, wait. You guys hooked up when she was still married? - Yeah. -Oh, you dog! No, no, her husband was on the way out, anyway. It was special. It was sweet. We went dancing together all the time. Yeah. You like to dance? I do, I love it. But I can never get Todd to go with me. Here, come here. Really? -Step back. -Mm-hm. Now, sideways. Feet together. Okay, now a little dip on the back. Sideways. -Oh, I love it! -Back. So, you might wanna bring it up. She'll just think it is perverted. How do you know if you don't ask? Trust me. You don't... You don't understand. Oh yeah, right. I don't understand. I forgot I'm slow. I hate when you do that. I hate when you pull that card. You're not retarded. You're not special. I'm not special? I thought I was pretty... I got special sauce all over my room! Good to see you, bro. I'm gonna bring a uv light over there. Oh god, I bet it would light that room up. Feet together. Aw, thank you. That was so special. Dad, don't be a pervert. Who wants a little more wine? -Me! I do. -Good. No, I'm good. Um, I'm driving, so I gotta... You guys should just stay the night. That's easy. Come on. Sleepover! I think we should. Okay. -Here, come. -What? Just want to talk to you for a minute. Okay, what are you doing? What is this? There's just something super important... I just have to talk to you, okay? Um, you just need to act... there. Okay. What are you doing? What are you doing? Is this okay? Yeah. Okay. Uh... What's wrong? Nothing. Did I do something? -Teeth? -No, no. -Just tell me... -It's good. It's great, uh... I just have to go to the bathroom. -Okay? -Oh, okay. Hey, what are you doing? Nothing. Reading. -What the fuck you doing? -Calm down, bro. Look, she wouldn't have seen me, man, just chill out. Maybe I don't wanna look at my brother when I'm getting a fucking blow job. Okay, well, calm down. It's not like I haven't seen you before. You are not to say a word of that to Lindsay. -Okay? -All right. Don't say anything about that. Why? 'Cause Lucy was very different, okay? Well, maybe you should tell your girlfriend what you like. Give me the phone. Let me just finish watching it. No, dude, I'm gonna delete it. -Give me the phone. -Come on, man. -You owe me. -Give me the fucking phone. You owe me. -Give me the phone. -Hey! Dude! Dude, what are you doing? It's mine! Come on, shonzi, stop it! Stop, stop it! -Dude, no! Come on! -Give me the phone! Hey! What is going on here? He was spying on us. Well, you didn't have to hit me. Come on, we're going home. What? Uh! Dude! Jesus Christ. Oh, I wonder who that is. He won't stop. Oh... Hey, do you want some coffee? Yeah, thanks. Hey, I'm sorry about last night. Sweetie, I know he's like, really hard to deal with, but you really have to get a grip on your anger, okay? Yeah, I know. It's just... He just triggers something in me. -Yeah. -I feel like shit. You know what? We can start meditating together if you want. Yeah. Do you wanna see what he did, though? I mean, I don't... Oh, boy. Oh, my god. It's... Oh, look at your face, though. -When you see him... -It's not funny. -It's funny. -No. It's pretty funny. It's pretty hot. Are you... What do you mean? Are you like, turned on by it? Yeah. Is that weird? Well, look. Look, you know how sometimes I feel disconnected. I mean, you have me right here, can't you just... Like, connect with me and just be here with me, and just like, delete that? It's kinda like, porn. Porny. I guess we haven't really had this conversation. I'm like, very against it. -Obviously, yeah. -Yeah. -Porn. -Yes. Because, you know, these women are really being exploited. I read a whole thing about, you know, the rise of like, super exploitative, like violent porn. That's like, what, men wanna watch now? It's like, so weird to me. Babe, I don't wanna watch any of that. I don't wanna watch any of that. I just wanna watch you and me. -Want me to delete it? -Get rid of it. Yeah, just delete it. Yeah, okay. -Thank you. -You're welcome. That would be good. So, so far, this one's been a lot better, because on my last birthday, we were serving tacos, right? And Todd, my other uncle, bet shonzi that he could eat 30 tacos, and he did. And then he threw up everywhere. Like, honestly, like everywhere. Like, in the pool, yeah, it was really disgusting, and it was a disaster, and everybody left, and I was all alone on my birthday. Get your hands off her. -Just ignore him. -Hm. All right, you asked for it. Cannonball! Mom! Shonzi, don't. That's enough, all right? Hey, guys! Hey. Oh yeah, good. You made it. Hello. Shonzi, you got me all wet. Gross. Isn't that your boyfriend's job? Ew! Shut up. No, you shut up. Wow. That's a big present. -Yeah? -Thanks. I can't stay too long. Okay, well... Oh, my gosh. Gotta get you drinking, then. I gotta go check the grill, too. Okay. Dude, where's Lindsay? She's not here. Okay. Any luck? Sorry, I... He knows we have a parking garage, right? Mm-hm, yeah. He, oh, here... Just open. Hey, what's up? Whole gang's here. Um, you guys are underdressed. I figured I'd get out of this marriage the way I came in. Just like, on fleek. And a little bit tipsy. Yeah, you're really late, you know? Oh, yeah. I apologize if I'm not as eager as you are. So... I was hoping that, you and me, could have a word in privacy before we commence the negotiations. -I think we should... -Yeah. We'll give you that. -Great. -Yeah, let's... -Bye. -Yeah. So, before I sign that shit, um, you know, I need you to do something. Okay. Okay, what do you need? I wanna hear you say it. Say what? That you fucking cheated on me. Are you... This is ridiculous, okay? You had your little secrets, too. Hm, okay. I, we both, had fuck-ups, but I stuck in. You're the one that's leaving. What? You stuck in? You have this whole story that you're perfect, and I fucked the whole thing up. You fucked part of this up, okay? I'm not going to play games. I'm not going to play games, no. Okay, fine. All right, well then, I guess, I'm not gonna sign the papers. Adam... Don't be crazy. Say it. Why does it matter? Why does it matter? We're just getting... We're gonna sign the papers... Because you don't get to be right all the time. You can't do it. I am not going to. You can't do it. Hm, right. But was it easy to move on? The first girlfriend after divorce is kind of a big deal. I don't care as i don't want to be with him. I'm glad I'm not married to him. Still, it was like, "hm, he's got a girlfriend." You ever fee like you wanna get back? Oh, my god, no. Hey, Lily, Jake. You want a burger? Get over here. Hey, bro. Come here. Check it out. It's Lily. Dude, that's our fucking niece. So? She's hot. You're a pervert. I'm kidding, bro. Here you go. I gotta go pick up Lindsay. Oh, you gotta go pick up your girlfriend? -Yeah. -Are you pussy-whipped? -Bye. -Shonzi... -Is that your boyfriend? -No. -Who is it, then? -I called an uber. Okay? So... Hi. I'll just... What's up, man? Hey. Hi, my name is Todd. I'll be your uber driver. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I just didn't wanna complicate things. I didn't know how to... I get it. It's fine. So, what happened? Oh, he's contesting it. Why? Just to be an asshole. I mean, it's gonna happen. He just wants to punish me for it. I'm sorry, babe. Thanks. If you're gonna touch me, I should probably report you to the company. Oh, please don't. I already have only three stars. Oh. I touch all my passengers. Do you feel okay? Yeah. Do you want me to flip over again or something? No. I don't think i can finish. Really? Are you sure? Yeah. I'm sorry, I just... I think I wanna go to the bathroom. Okay. Thanks. Todd. I know you're angry at me, but please call me back 'cause I have a really cool idea for the film. All right, I'm thinking your character wasn't really dead, and then maybe you end up with Lindsay's character. All right, would that make you happy? This is shonzi, call me back. Hey. What did I tell you about knocking? I thought you were gonna help me with that thing. Dad, I quit, okay? You quit. All right. Then you quit your allowance, too. I don't care. I'm gonna be a famous film maker. Don't hold your breath. You better be nice to me, all right? Because when I'm rich and famous, and I got all these girls around me, you know, like, at the premiere, I'm gonna have, like, three of them on me, I can't make out with everyone at once. So, if you're nice, maybe I'll give you one. Five minutes, all right? Outside. I'm not working for you. Yes, you are. Come on. Come on. Come on, pizza. Hi, justine. Hi, Lindsay. How are you? Good! How's pizza doing? Pretty good. I just got her a new wheelchair. Yeah. It's kinda rough, but I think it's gonna be really good in the end. Hey, sorry, i just need to get... Um... Um... Are you masturbating? Yeah. Seeing if it still works. What are you looking at? This... Just, come on. This is just... Oh, god! I thought you deleted that. It's, um... It's on the cloud. I mean, we just talked about this. I thought you understood what that meant to me. On the cloud? Dig a hole that end. Not unless you apologize. Apologize for what? For treating me like an idiot. Are you gonna help me here? Or are you not? Not. Jesus fucking Christ... You're gonna hurt yourself. Call 911. No, not unless you apologize. Dad. Dad. Jesus Christ. All right. Let me get my phone. Hi, Todd. It's Nina again. So, um, dad is stable. Do you mind if I just check your iv again? Uh, yeah. Does that hurt? Does it feel okay? Yeah, yeah. I'm all right. Hey. What's up? Not much. What's your name? Sam. Cool. Very cool. You know, I noticed you got some... I really like your nails. Oh, thanks. I just got them done. Yeah, they're really cool. I was just gonna say that. What the hell was that? I just told her her nails were cool. Yeah. Well, you interrupted. Shaun, please. Shut the fuck up. Okay. Dad, it's not all about you. I was just leaving you a message. -Sorry. -It's all right. Hey. -Hi. Lindsay. -Hey. Uh, how is he? He's okay. He's stable... Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Shh, okay? Keep your voice down, okay? You know, I do about 100 push-ups a day. Oh. Wanna feel it? No. Oh, so what are we gonna do with him? Oh god, shonzi. Um, I'm super-crazed right now, with kids and work and everything, I cannot right now. Could you take him? Um. Well... Mm-hm. Yeah. Thank you so much. Why would i go over to your house if you don't want me there? Hey. We want you there. We were just talking about inviting you over, anyway. -Oh yeah? -Yeah. Why didn't you call me back, then? 'Cause we were trying to figure out which day would be best to have you over. --Right, babe? Remember? Lindsay, is that true? Actually, um, shonzi, Todd is still upset about what happened. And I understand him being upset... I mean, it doesn't excuse the fact that he hit you... But we should talk about the fact that you're upset. Why are you upset? You are the one who hit me. I don't know, maybe because you were trying to videotape us having sex. I'm sorry, all right? Can we just get over this, already? Wow. Great apology, buddy. I really felt that one. You know what? I don't need this shit. Tell me when you're gone. Dude... Dude. Hey, dude. Hey, I'm sorry I hit you. I was just trying to help you. I know you were just trying to help. I was in the wrong. You were acting like a maniac. I'm sorry. What's up with you? I was gonna give you the video. -I know. -Okay? I'm, I'm... I've been agitated lately, okay? So what's the problem? I don't know, I think I'm just depressed. Or stressed out, i don't know. Talk to me, okay? I'm your brother. You got a big mouth. All right, I will... -Keep your mouth shut? -Yes. I promise i won't say anything. Okay. I'm having a hard time finishing. During sex. Yeah. I can't finish. -Okay. I'm coming over. -Good. We can get to the bottom of this. -All right? -Okay, just... Just don't do anything weird. I'm not, all right? Can you say it? Say it, "I'm not gonna do anything weird." I'm not gonna do anything weird. -I promise. -Promise? Okay. We're back! Put your tongue back in your mouth. Why? She's got your food coming right now. Seconds. -Thank you. -There you go. Aha! Wow. This is literally the finest cuisine I've ever eaten. Thank you, shonzi. Whoa. Todd is a lucky guy. Oh, well, he's not so bad himself. Well, I, for one, cannot wait to go back and see dad. Are you worried about him? Yeah, but I want to talk to that nurse. She was pretty into me. I'm not so sure she was. She kept playing with her hair when I was talking to her. Sort of like, fidgeting. -Body language. -Right. -Mm-hm. -Body language. It's a subconscious thing. But the thing is, um, you know, sometimes, i play with my hair, I do stuff like this, but it's just to get it out of my face. Well, no. The... The night we first kissed, I knew something was gonna happen with us, because, you kept playing with your hair. - What? -Oh... No. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. Don't you guys see? Like a woman is not even free to touch her hair without it being interpreted as some sexual thing by a man. That's like, depressing. You seem tense, Lindsay. You want me to give you a back rub? Okay. That's really sweet of you to offer that. But, I think, after what happened, it's better to have some boundaries. You know, I don't think it's appropriate. How are we gonna get past this if you guys don't trust me? Hey, see what happens if you touch her, dude, I dare you. Go ahead. Oh, okay, I guess I'll make her slow then, right? It's not like cooties, okay? You know what, shonzi? I think that if you can give me a back rub as a friend, that would be a really good step. That's all I need. Are you serious right now? - Yeah. - -Wait... - He's just a friend. - -Just relax, bro. How's that? Oh, it's good. Yeah. Oh. How's that? It's really good. Take a deep breath in. Nice, how's that? It's good, oh yeah. Oh, gosh. This is just the ending. It's just the ending. All right, well, you know what? I think that's great. And I'm gonna clear the plates. Um, that was a really good first step. See? That wasn't inappropriate. No. Thanks. Bye. Bye. What are you doing? I'm warming her up for you. For what? -So you can take a video. -I'm not... hey... Or, okay, photos. -Start out with photos. -No. None of it. She's not into that, okay? You want me to bring up those videos that you did with Lucy? No. I don't want you to bring that up. I mean, don't you think i wish she was into that? I do, okay? But she's not. Look, if you don't bring it up, then I will. Let's just let this go. Maybe I should tell her right now. -Don't, please don't... -Oh, Lindsay! -We have something to tell you. -Okay. -Okay? -Okay. It's for your own good. Are you pissed? Look, I know you mean well, but I'm just gonna take him to work with me tomorrow, okay? You... I just think that the more he is around a woman, and gets to know her, the more chance there is that he'll stop treating her like a sexual object. You have to be careful with him. He doesn't get your whole super open, new age-y thing. He just sees a pretty girl giving him attention, and then it turns him on. You don't trust me? I don't trust him. He's very lonely. He's very lonely right now, and you are not being super friendly to him. Yeah, I know. So I should take him to work with me. Right? Are you gonna be nice to him? Yeah, of course. Okay. Hey, I've been meaning to, uh... Yeah? I just, I wanted to... I just want to say sorry about the whole video thing, and I understand that you are not into that. And that, that was very disrespectful to you and your beliefs. The main thing i had an issue with was the secrecy, that everything was so secret. I mean, you know how much i hated that with Adam, -just the lying, and... -I know. -I can't do it again. -I know, I know, I know. And I don't want that. I don't want that for us. I guess I just... Just couldn't resist. I couldn't resist. Yeah, well, I couldn't. Well, okay. Do you want to take a photo of me... Do you want to take a photo of me right now? Babe, really? Yeah. I think it could be sexy. If you want to. -Right now? -Yeah. I mean, you do want to, right? Yeah... Yes. -Yes. -Yeah? I'd love to. I think it could be fun. Okay. -I don't know. -This is amazing. Do I do this? Hey! What are you doing? Hey, kinda have to be quiet right now. Oh, okay. -Why? -Um... It's a secret. Oh, I love secrets. Is it a surprise for Todd and Lindsay? Ah, yeah. You could say that. Oh! He's my brother. It's like a whole project we're doing, and so I can't really... I live next door. I'm justine. What's your name? Do you want to hang out sometime? Like, what do you mean? Do you want to hang out sometime? What, you and me? Yeah. I would love to, but I have a girlfriend. Her name's Cindy Crawford. Hey. I want him to stick his penis in this jar and try to come from just the flapping of the wings on the tip of his dick. Do you think you could do that? Stop it! Stop! You're hurting her. Why did you kill dad? You gotta save her. By the flesh, must be free. No! Hey. Wake up. Wake up. What are you doing? Just get dressed. Shonzi, just put this on. This looks fine. Hurry up, she's got this big plan to hang out with you today. That's what she said? Yeah. Yeah, so let's go. Okay, I think I see what's happening here. You're scared to leave me alone with her. Right? You think she's gonna get sweet on me? Actually, I don't think you're her type. You think you're gonna go to work, and then I'll be at home, working your girlfriend. Dude, that won't happen, 'cause you're a fucking retard, okay? What'd you call me? Hey. Oh, hey, Lindsay. What's going on? Nothing. Todd just called me a retard. You were pushing my buttons, buddy. He was pushing my buttons. Can you just apologize? Yeah. Hey man, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you that. But I don't like it when you... Say dirty jokes about my girlfriend, okay? Okay. Well... I mean, if that's all, you have to say. I'm pretty sure I did, like a million times. - It's just... okay. He's trying, Todd, and I think he has a point, you know? Just say it. -You know? -Yeah. We can talk about this later. Uh, we gotta go. -Great. -So get your shoes on, okay? Shonzi, um... Do you wanna just stay here today? - Yeah. - -No, no. You said you wanted to come with me. You said you wanted to go to work with me, right? You know what i think is happening? What? I think he's a little freaked out - 'cause he's in a new place, -okay. And I think you're probably scared about your dad, right? - Yeah. - -Yeah. So just hang out with me, we'll do something fun. It's gonna be nice. Cool. Cool. Cool. You guys, if you need anything, just give me a call. Okay. We'll be fine, bro. Mm-hm. And I just wanted to show you all my little crystals. I like that one. You like that one? Yeah. Looks cool, right? That one is for protection, and for divine connection. Does it make you feel kinda safe? Powerful. Powerful, good. Like, um... Like in a cave. Yeah, exactly. But my cave. And... Just staying by myself, but I'm not lonely. I really love that. I really love that. You know what? This is for you. I want you to keep that. And, this one here, I think will be good for you. It is frankincense oil and it is really good for depression and heartbreak and things like that. Put your wrist out. Now give me your hand. It's very calming. You feel calm? Yeah. Well, I don't know about calm, but, well, like... -Whoa. -Yeah? That's good. You feel kind of energized. Mm-hm. Also, shonzi, can I show you this video I made? Uh, yeah. Look at this. And that guy is just following her? Yeah, look, he follows her down the street, for literally 30 minutes. - What? - -Yeah. Just like shouting things and saying things. That should be against the law. I mean, if someone was following you around like that, I'd pop him in the face. Thank you, shonzi. I mean, I'd rip his arm off. I'd be like, "uh..." -"What are you doing, bro?" -Yeah. -"How do you like that?" -Yeah. Because you know that it is wrong. Yeah, I mean, she's just... "Get out of my way." Exactly. You know what I think this video is missing? A man's perspective. -Hm. -Yeah. Yeah. Do you wanna help me? -Do a mic check. -Oh, okay. - Check. -Ow. -Can you hear that? -Mm-hm. Hello, hello! Testing! Do you think you're gonna be that loud? I might. Okay? Yeah, I don't need to wear them. Hello, and welcome to rainbow time. I'm your host, shonzi. And, on tonight's episode, we're talking about catcalling. So stay tuned. We'll be right back after this commercial break. So good! Perfect. Oh, look, there's some girls over there. -Can we talk to them? -Yes. Oh, my goodness. Hey! Hey, wanna be in a movie? All right, so tell me, what are some of the annoying things that guys say to you, you know, on the street. Sugar tits. -Really? -Yeah. "Baby." "Let me see you smile." It's like, "hey, yeah, oh, sweetie!" And how does that make you feel when they say that crap? It's just condescending, it's a comment that becomes how I'm sexually relevant to this man rather than my brain or other qualities or whatever. Right. You're just walking down the street. You're not there to entertain anyone. It's like,"hey! I'm just trying to walk here." -Exactly. -"Get out of my way!" -Right. -Yeah. You just wanna get to work. Sometimes you're just not in the mood. No. Exactly. Exactly. And guys at home, you don't need to have a girl smile to enjoy how hot they are. Look here... You're a very pretty lady, --well, now, you're smiling. Thank you for watching rainbow time. I'm shonzi, and I've been here with my friend, -Sara. -Sara! -Hey! -Hey! That was so good. Thank you. You're so pretty. Shonzi, don't... Okay, all right, okay. Do you want to hang out some time? No, no, stop. Stop! Thank you so much. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I think that's fine, it's okay. It's not. It's not fine. Thank you for doing that for us. What? You can't just like, grab someone and kiss them like that. Okay, well, I didn't know. I thought I'm doing something good, I'm talking... You are, you are. But then, you just have to let people go, just you know, maybe shake hands or something, okay? Great. Cut. I did cut. Oh, hey. Oh, hey. How are you? Not good. Oh, why? What's going on? Pizza's wheels are all messed up. I don't know what's wrong. Oh... Who? Pizza's my dog. Your dog's name is pizza? Yeah. Oh, hey, um... Justine, this is shonzi, Todd's brother. This is my friend, justine. Yeah, we met last night. Sort of. Uh, I mean, yeah, when I was out smoking. Smoking? I didn't know you smoked. I do. I like your t-shirt. Sorry, but I'm just... I'm not really in the mood to talk. I just want to go in, and just eat some doritos, please. I love doritos! What's your favorite kind? Cool ranch. Jinx! Two for flinching. I didn't flinch. Yes, look at flinching you. -Got me. -Oh, man. -What? -Nice biceps. Oh yeah? You like that? Yeah, I do like 100 push-ups a day. Nice. You know what? We should have justine in the movie. Yes, sure. Uh... - Rolling? - -Rolling. Uh, so what? The same questions i was asking those girls? Yeah, do you remember? Yeah, okay. Yeah, so okay, this probably doesn't happen to you but do you ever have guys yelling at you on the street? Oh, yeah. All the time, I hate that. I mean, like, catcalling. Yeah. Guys? Yeah. All the time. I mean, it's a little hard to believe because I mean, you are kind of ugly, I mean, not totally ugly, but I mean... Shonzi. Why would you say that? I just mean, because these other girls you didn't see what we were doing, okay? You have no idea what we were in the middle of... Just give that to me. Okay, I told you i didn't wanna do this. All right? I'm sorry you didn't see these other girls. Someone can be beautiful even though they are not blonde and... I'm sorry. Jesus Christ! I'm really sorry. Dad. Wanna check out some of these girls me and Lindsay met today for the video? Check out this one. Hot, right? Did you get her number? I tried, but she said she had a "boyfriend." You're never gonna score unless you take... - A shot. -Right? -Right. -See, Lindsay? My dad always taught me i got to be confident like the fonz. You know, he just snaps his fingers, and girls come up to him. Yeah, um, sure, but shonzi, I think, another thing that making the video is helping you realize is that it's not fun for women to be sexually harassed. Right. Feminism. -Yes. -Right. You know what I need, is pictures of me. We put them on a website, maybe for magazines. Bro, can you take a photo, just right now, me and dad, you know, like in people magazine, they have the candid shots. Sure. Yeah, yeah. I'd hold out for vanity fair, if I was you, though. Exactly. Thank you, bro. You know what? You should get in it, too. -Come on, bro. -Okay. Okay, but Lindsay, be careful because you might not wanna delete the photo that Todd took of you last night. I mean, if you guys have any photos you don't wanna delete... What? What? Did... Did you show it to him? No. No. Lindsay, he didn't have to, okay? I only spied on you so he wouldn't chicken out. If you're gonna start making some photos or videos, you should see these ones he made with his ex, Lucy. I mean, a photo isn't even that kinky. Oh, my god. Well, cat's out of the bag now. Shonzi, when are you gonna learn to shut your mouth? You, knowingly, let shonzi watch you take a picture of me naked. Yeah. I mean, why? Because, he said he was gonna tell you about the video I showed him of me and my ex. Why would you show shonzi videos of you and your ex, anyway? I don't... Um... When mom died, he went into a really dark place. He was a mess, and he locked himself in his room for like, two weeks. We called it... Solitary. Shonzi's in solitary again. We were worried that he was going to hurt himself. So I was kind of trying everything I could to get him out. And... And it was working. I mean, I feel bad, i feel guilty. He's never gonna experience that, you know? I just wanted him to feel normal. I mean, I do... I understand, kind of, on some level, but, that's not treating him like he is normal. Like you wouldn't do that with one of your guy friends. -Right? I hope. -No. Wouldn't be like, "look at this video," so... No. Because you are doing that with him, it's saying, "you're not normal, "and I need to do this with you." I just wish I knew how we could help him. Yeah... I wonder if we could maybe make this like, part of my project. And that could help him to understand that, you know, he's not the only one who's doing something wrong all the time. He's not just being told, "that's not okay." Yeah. You're saying, "i did something that's not okay." Yeah. Or, we could just drop him off at Nina's. This is the kind of thing that we need to deal with, okay? Okay. -Okay? -Yeah. Is that creepy? Just maybe try to look like you're looking at something sexy, though, you know? I can do sexy. I'll go like this. I'll be like, I'll imagine two people making out. Okay? I'm not gonna say what two people... Okay, buddy, we can't use the shot if you're talking in it, okay? Let's get this shot with you standing still, okay? Okay. I think it's us. That's ridiculous. I know, I know. I'm just trying to... It's less of like a face. It's less of like a... Any of that. I think it's more just like a blank face. And no talking. I think we just need, just like a few seconds of you just, standing and saying nothing. Just not talking. How many seconds? Like, thirty. One, two... Don't count, dude. Don't count. I want to get it right. How am I going to... I'll tell you. Okay. I think we got it. -Yeah. -I think we got enough, yeah. We got it. Relax, Todd. She said we got it. So, Todd, if you don't mind, just explain a little bit about what it is you like about videotaping yourself and your girlfriends. I don't know, um... It's just exciting... To know that a girl is willing to do that for you because she likes you that much. I guess. I mean, I guess the thing I'm wondering is why... You want someone to put themselves in an uncomfortable situation. Like, when you're in love, you do things for the other person, even if it makes you uncomfortable, right? Like when we were dating at first, when you were married, that was kind of uncomfortable for me, and I, kind of, hiding that, but, I did it, and i don't know, I just, I guess I wish you would humor me. Right. It's a give and take. It would be a nice reassurance. A reassurance... Of what? That you're not gonna leave me when things get bad, like you did with Adam for me. I wanna do the videos because it's like a way of controlling the situation, because even if you do leave me, I'll still kinda have you. I know how hard that is. I'm so proud of you for your honesty and for telling me all this. I love you so much. I love you so much. Yeah. Guys, we're still rolling here. Can we focus a little bit? I don't know, I feel like we got so much good stuff. Like we got really, a lot of really, um... What? Aren't you gonna ask me some questions? Tomorrow. Yeah, we gotta hit the sack, dude. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna, um... But thank you for helping. You were such a great help. You were wonderful. Thank you, um... The remote's right there, you can watch whatever you want. Okay, well, just go right to sleep, guys. We can get an early start tomorrow. No funny business, all right? I love it when you kiss me there. Where else? Right there. Right here? Hey, guys! Not now, dude. Well, guys, I started a fire by accident. I'm really sorry. Not now, buddy. Help! There's smoke everywhere. It's all right. Oh no, honey, wait, look. What did you do now, dude? What the fuck, man? Gotcha. Jesus Christ. You really think I'm so stupid I lit the house on fire? Yeah, maybe. Looks like you guys got your own fire going on here. What do you want, man? I got this great new idea for the film. Okay, it's gonna have to wait till tomorrow. I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait. Lindsay, please can I tell you? I don't wanna forget it. Please? Okay. She said okay, bro, relax. Okay, do you know what a dream sequence is? Uh-huh. We could have a dream sequence where you and I are kissing. Okay, nice try, buddy. We could just be dancing or something, you know? We could be slow dancing. Maybe, maybe. Just fucking say no. Just say no to him. I don't want to just shut him down. Well, we don't have to fucking listen to him right now, okay? Todd, please don't swear at me. He's manipulating you. Can't you see that? I think it's important to hear his ideas. You don't fucking listen to me. You know this makes me uncomfortable, and you say it's my anger issues or some shit, and I'm fucking sick of it. Don't fucking touch me. Calm down. Meet me in the car. I'm taking you to Nina's. Are you okay? Wait here. Hey. Hey... Where are you going? I thought I would stay at my place tonight. I'm sorry I freaked out. I... And I didn't mean to... I don't know what to say. I... I don't know. You know, I actually haven't had much time to myself since I left Adam. You're just gonna give up? I feel like I've been pretty patient. Really? Please, please, just give me one more chance, please. I really just wanna go. I'm so sorry. Hi, you guys. -Hey. -Hey. Sorry, it's so late. It's okay. You could have waited till tomorrow. It's really okay, I'll just order food. Hungry? Want something? No, I gotta get going. - Mom! -Okay, I'm coming. But, are you gonna be at the hospital tomorrow? Mom! I'm coming! God. Teenagers can be total douchebags, ugh. All right. See you later, dude. Look, I'm sorry, all right? I'm jealous. I'm jealous of what you have. Don't worry about it. Okay, what are you gonna say? What, are you gonna call her? Just let me do my thing, okay? You worry about your own shit. Look, I'm sorry. I'm only, just so, you know, trying to help you, because, I know I don't have a chance, I'm gonna die alone in a group home, all right? I'm not gonna have what you have, but, I don't know, you owe it to me, man. What? To be happy. I don't care about myself. I know I'm a fucking lost cause. You want me to be happy? Stop doing this pity-party shit. Okay? Stop trying to help me with my relationships. Do you realize that you're the reason why she left me tonight? Just worry about yourself, do your thing. I'll do mine, okay? I gotta go. I'm... Hey, fonzie. Mrs. Cunningham? Would you do me a favor and would you check on Lily? -I have to take off. -Uh-huh. And we have a rule, there's no boys if I'm not here, but she's also, um... You need to have sunscreen on. I'm fine. Trying to get a new base layer. Okay, you're super-freckly. There's your base layer, freckles. Check it out. Don't do that. Just check on her, okay? When I'm gone. No boys. -All right. -Okay. Cool. Got it. Lookin' good. Good for you. Ninety-nine. One hundred. This is from forever 21, and this is from Abercrombie & Fitch. And this is from h&m. And these and this is from forever 21, too. Hm. Yeah, it's like my favorite store. Oh. Is that okay? -Yeah. -Yeah. Hold on. I just want to take my earring out. Shonzi. Lily. Your mom said you're not supposed to have "guests" over. It's fine, shonzi. Why don't you guys come into the... Big house and watch some TV with me, all right? We could have some cookies. Hey, buddy, uh... We're fine here, so if you just close the door on your way out. Okay, you're embarrassing me. Lily, your mom said, okay? No boys. It's fine. -Just get out! -Look, Lily... Lily... Lily, open the door. Lily! Hold on a sec. Maybe we should take a little break, okay? No, come on. Don't you like me? I'm just feeling a little weird, that's all. It's okay. Don't worry. No, stop. No, no... Oh, damn it! Shonzi, get out! You cannot have boys here, all right? You're too young. Come on, you gotta get out. Are you serious, dude? Yeah, I'm serious as a heart attack. Bro. Dude! You gotta go. You're not listening to her. She is not into it. I'm not leaving, retard. Oh, I'm a retard? Yeah. Well then, looks like it's time to take out the trash. Come on, let's go. Wanna go? Come on, let's go. What are you doing? Fuck! You say anything to upset him? No, he just came in and started hitting me. Did you provoke him in any way? Provoked him? What, are you saying my son deserved to get his face bashed in? But Nina, you told me to watch them, all right? Yeah, I didn't tell you to punch him. Okay, I could see what they were doing, all right? It was going too far. Lily? We were just watching a video. I think you got confused. That's not true. All you have to do is say you're sorry. -Just apologize. -No! All right? I'm not gonna be the one apologizing. Take it easy. Wanna help me here? Hey. Hey. He forgot to take his meds or something. Yeah, we're pressing charges. Off his meds? Next time, he's gonna have a knife. Through the window, i could see the whole thing. All right, dude? They were kissing, all right? And he was touching her. You were watching them? Yeah, yeah. I saw the whole thing, okay? What are we gonna do? I don't know. He's an adult, Nina, maybe it's time he's treated like one. So, we're gonna let him get arrested? How else is he gonna learn? Oh, god. He understand his rights? He understand his rights? Yeah! Guys, I didn't do anything. Guys, I saved her. Lily! Ow! That hurts, dude. Let's go, son. Wait a second. -Come on, let's go. -Okay! -Just give me a second! -Go, come on. Guys, this is stupid, okay? He called me a retard! Stop! Lily! He called me a retard! All right? That's not fair! Wait, wait! He didn't do anything wrong. What? Lily. He was telling the truth. See? Let go of me! Let him go. Hey. How're you doing, bud? Fine. Wanna go get some burgers or something? Not hungry. Hey, you could stay at my place tonight. Buddy, come on. Shonzi! Hey linds, it's me, just thought I'd call to check in, see how you are doing. Also, you left some stuff at my place. Um, if you wanna come get it. Um... I miss you. Bye. I just need to file this first thing tomorrow morning, and you'll be officially divorced. Congratulations. Hello? I'm getting tired of shonzi solitary. Come on, please, come out, shonzi. Shonzi? Hey. Hey. Todd here? No, um... We had kind of a falling out. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah. But I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing, and to say goodbye, and also, to bring you this. It's an essential oil blend that I made. It's supposed to be really good for your heart. How nice. Thank you. Come, come. Come, sit for a second. Oh. Good. So what's up with you and Todd? I don't know. It's probably for the best. I've had a very hard year with the divorce and everything, and... I really tried, but um... I think it's just bad timing. I really don't want to make the same mistakes. Yeah. You know what? I'm not much on advice, but... The relationships that I have seen work are the ones where one person just accepts the other person as they are, don't try to change them. Yeah. But don't you think that people should be aware of what their problems are and the work that they have to do? Having a kid like Shaun just made me aware that life's not perfect... And people aren't perfect, and you just got to love them the way they are, you know? What do you want? I'm gonna fuck you up. No! Go away, dad! I'm not hungry. Hey, buddy. What do you want? Um, I was thinking we could shoot a movie. I got an idea for a movie. Okay, what's it about? It's about two brothers. Boring. And uh, one brother is an asshole, and he fucked up really bad. He betrayed the other brother and he feels real bad about it and... And they're ninjas. They're ninja brothers. Ninja betrayal, huh? Yeah. And the only thing is that I can't figure out is how to end it. You know, how do they make up? Maybe you could help me out with that? I should like, hit you. Do you want to take a swing at me? Wanna hit... ow! You can do it again. You want to hit me again? Maybe you should just keep just doing more damage to me. You should hit me on the head with a bottle, cut my arms off... I should cut your dick off. Cut my dick off, we could do that. If you cut my dick off, will you forgive me? Maybe. I'm really sorry, man. I just can't be the one who's like trying to love you, and you treat me like a... I love you. I'm sorry, okay? I... You've always been there for me, and I... I'll never do that again, okay? I swear to god. Yeah, when you look down and you have no dick, you will remember. Exactly. Not to treat me like that. I know. Come here. Just don't do that, okay? I won't. All right, let's go make a movie, huh? All right. Come on, shonzi. All right, coming! Oh... Oh... Oh. No! Father! Don't die! Father, are you okay? I do not know how much longer I have left, son. No! You can't die! I have heard about your adventures. And I have some gifts i wish to bestow. Thank you. And please, take my leather jacket that I have worn on so many adventures. Whoa! Shit, hold on. Technical difficulties, hold on. Okay, give me a second. Thanks for doing this. A man with will. I like it. I'm happy to help. You know, I'm... I'm sorry you got to worry about me so much, and that I'm a disappointment to you. What? You're not a disappointment. You can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but you're not a disappointment. You are a good son, you took care of mom, you're taking care of me, you're my man. We're good. Okay? All right. What do I say now? Just give me the words. "Promise me that you'll find your brother "and rule my kingdom." Just promise me that you will find your brother, and together, you will rule my kingdom after I am gone. Uh, that might be tricky. Why? Because, I cut his dick off! Well, then, use this. I will not be needing it any more. Hey! No! Father! Oh, well. Sorry. Brother! No! Yes! Don't do this, brother. You cut my dick off. I know, I'm sorry, i was just jealous. But, look! Is that dad's? You better believe it. Quick, we don't have much time. Okay, but just be careful. Oh, be careful. Hold still, this is a delicate procedure. Be careful. It's not taking. Come on, you son of a bitch. Come on, don't die on us. Give him mouth-to-mouth. Feel for a heartbeat. Oh, come on. What does it say? Do you hear anything? He wishes he'd traveled more. I'm sorry, little guy. Come on. Hello. Hey. Hi. Hello. Uh, what are you doing here? Um... You texted me? You asked me to come, so... Guilty. I texted you from your phone when you weren't looking. Um, okay. Lindsay, you and i have great chemistry, but... I think you should be with my brother. Yeah, yeah. It's just bad timing. Another time, another place. Sure. Well, I'll leave you guys to it. Thanks. Thank you. Uh... Just give me one second, okay? Yeah. Hey, hey, hey. Dude, dude. Um, sorry we had to stop doing the movie. That's cool, man, I get it. I'll just see you later. Where are you going? I'm just gonna take a walk or something. Get out of your hair. All right. Hey, uh... Thanks for being so cool. Yeah, cool like fonzie, right? Ahh! Good luck. Okay, be careful. So, I have been doing a lot of thinking. Yeah, me too. And I understand why you resent me. I don't resent you. No, it's okay, I mean... Come on, i made you sneak around. I really just dragged you through my whole divorce, which isn't fair. It's okay. I'm not perfect. But, I mean, it's not like you didn't know what you were getting into. Yeah, I know. And I'm sorry. I'm trying to get over the whole resentment thing. Working on it. I guess... Even when I was helping you, and your marriage, it made me feel worthy. And I guess, now that you're not married any more i don't feel like I have anything to offer. Is that really how you feel? Yeah. I didn't fall in love with you 'cause you helped me leave Adam. Well, I'm sure that it had something to do with it, right? Look at me. You are awesome. You are beautiful, you're so smart, you're so funny, you're a really good brother... And you're like, really, my best friend. Yeah? I don't know what I would have done without you this year. Really? I missed you so much. Yeah, I missed you. Hey! Hey! Oh, hey! This pizza? Yeah. He's cute. Thanks. Yeah, he's pretty cute. He's also really heavy, though. Well, glad I bumped into you, because, remember when I called you ugly? Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that. I was thinking about it, and, look, you might not be the prettiest girl, but you have a lot to offer. Okay, I don't really need to talk about this. I feel we already talked about this. All right, I'm trying to apologize. Okay, what, I mean... Thank you, but if we're gonna hang out, you need to know when to stop talking. So we're going to be hanging out. Yeah. If your girlfriend doesn't mind. I don't have a girlfriend. Really? Okay, you don't need to rub it in. Just give me the dog. You got to watch out, he's got a sore spot. No, pizza! You all right? Okay. You okay, pizza? -Jinx. -Jinx. Mm. We got to nurse you back to life. It's working! Wow. It's so sharp. Thanks. Mm, don't mind if I do. Cut. |
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