Dedicated to the first|post communist generation
BELGRADE, SERBIA|AUTUMN, 1 996.
Together again, eh paI?
shvaba's voice sounded like it|was coming from under water.
The wounds had started|to bleed again.
l felt they were biting their|way through the bandages.
A matter of calibre, folks.
A calibre from which|wounds barely heal.
shvaba liked that calibre.|A guy with taste.
Good to see you again, paI.
shvaba, my buddy.
Never mind the... what do|you caII it? -Consequences.
No, when the situation is|reaIIy fucked. -Circumstances.
That's the word.|Fuck it,
The important thing is|that we're together again.
I've always believed that|shvaba would've been able
to say lots of funny|and interesting things...
Get the fuck out of|the way, you mice!
...if it hadn't been for|his war with words.
That's why l guess, it's up|to me to tell this story.
Let's go back five years.|Buckle up, folks, we're off.
BELGRADE, SERBIA..|AUTUMN, 1 991 .
Starring:
W o U N D S
shvaba and me grew up|in a really dodgy area.
Breeze blocks, folks,|if you know what I mean?
If you don't,|who gives a fuck?
We have to decide|who pIays who.
Why do I aIways have|to be the Croat?
Your oId man was a Croat.
A Slovenian. -Same shit,|different wrapping.
What's wrong with you?
DiaboIa... -We're not kids|any more to be throwing
stones at each other. -Your|Mum's Slovenian, isn't she?
I've heard that SIovenians|fuck themseIves senseIess.
Shvaba's joking,|they onIy give good head.
Suck my dick!
Ustashan cunt!
Ustashan cunt!
Kosovian!
Kosovian!
Kosovian...
Cunt!
Kosovian!
DiaboIa.
Cunt!
I'm not a Croat!
You're not a Serb either!|Serbs don't cry Iike pussies.
Get it?|-Yes.
Bro', d'you hear that?|ours are coming! Serbia!
Now you're fucked!
That autumn, everyone in|our neighbourhood was
into watching the tanks|on their way to croatia.
Well, almost everyone.
Those damn tanks,|Iook at the fiIth!
My Mum wasn't to|keen on them.
It's a shame about|aII those fIowers...
My dad was angry with the|army for forcing him into
early retirement. Thirty|fucking years waiting for war
and he didn't even|get a look in.
Granny, they're great, eh?
shvaba's Granny wasn't|very keen on them either.
Of course, for Granny|the war was just a re-run.
Good morning, neighbour.
If you spiII that pigs swiII|down here again, you'II have
to give me head and Iick the|terrace at the same time!
You bitch! This isn't your|shithoIe Dubrovnik,
this is Serbia! -Whimp!|-Serbia, you trash!
Learn what's Iaw|and order!
You've mixed it aII up.|Her Iate husband was a Croat,
she's our. -ours, my arse,|with such behaviour!
You'd be better off getting|your gun and defending those
peopIe there.|-Fuck you!
But they retired you, whimp.
Because you're not right|in the head. -Fuck you!
Besides the tanks|and the news,
everyone in the neighbourhood|was into dijabola's Mum.
Lydia works on TV, folks.
she'll be important for|our story much later.
For now, remember her well,|just like l did.
What are you doing,|you idiot! -Son!
somehow it happened that|l started wanking that year.
At the same time we were|shelling Vukovar.
Go for it...|Go for it.
They'II destroy the town.
When we get rid of|the Ustasha's,
we'II buiId a nicer one,|Iike Paris.
The liberation|of serbian Vukovar
from the jaws|of the Ustashan monster
is becoming|an inevitable reality.
Paris, my arse. Even better.|Isn't that right, UgIjesha?
The citizens are coming|out of their cellars
greeting their liberators|with flowers, tears of joy
and a thousand and|one thanks.
A year later we were|shelling sarajevo.
And we were put|under sanctions.
You'II see! When the CIA|get their sateIIite pictures
and see that we've piIed|the beef on under sanctions!
CIington!
One of the greatest crimes in|the history of civilisation:
Yugoslavia has been|severely punished
by the international police.
But unjust and unprovoked|sanctions won't brake serbia,
whose people|are fond of saying:
No one can harm us, we are|stronger than destiny,
let them hate us,|those who don't like us...
The wisdom fo the people|is much more powerful
than American forces.
He's Iocked himseIf|in again! Son...
When I put the toiIet under|sanctions, you'II shit
outside the buiIding.|Come out of there!
l couldn't have given a toss|about sanctions or the war.
Literally, folks.
l was wanking five times|a day at least!
Come out of there!|-Son, are you aII right?
What does life has to offer|a thirteen-year-old lad?
Just wanking!
Come out of there before|you faII down the bog!
ABoUT IDoLS
My dad had|idols, too.
At first he slobbered|over some croat Tito.
Then he had a thing for|Milosevic,
like everyone else|in our neighbourhood.
Neighbour be quiet! -Come|and see what I'm hanging up.
If you don't Iike it, I'II|hang you on my todger, mate!
BIoody oppositionist!
Son, have you got|a bad stomach again?
Fucking democrats! Is that|quiet enough, eh?!
The things us kids loved were|a lot more down to earth.
Our only hero was the|neighbour from across the way.
How was it?
crazy Kure! Just back from|a business trip to Germany.
The West is a miracIe.|I'II take you there sometime.
I want to go to Munich.
Munich, Frankfort,|DusseIdorf, CoIogne...
Shvaba, come here!
Did anyone pick on you, eh?|Look at this!
Thanks, uncIe Kure!|-UncIe Kure!
ShaII I wash your|car for you?
Take a hike, four eyes!
What are you staring at,|Shvaba? Take that in!
Can Pinki give us a hand?|-Him?
Versace...
Yeah, aII right.|Come on, Shvaba.
Pinki, your Dad wants you.|-Don't worry Mrs,
I'II make them some custard.|Who gave you that siIIy name?
My oId man.
As a child, my dad was into|partisans, revolution,
take an oath,|child-warriors...
That gets to you, you know?
Bandits!
Bandits!
Bandits! shit!
comrade Pinki...
suck my dick,|comrade Stojan!
They say that real Pinki|was good with bombs. Maybe.
This one prefers shooters,|folks!
Where was I...?
Oh yes, how did l|get my name.
l was born on 4th May 1 980,
the same day that|croat Tito croaked.
We bawled our eyes out,|folks.
Go on son, have a god cry.
We'II name you after him:
Tito... S. Mucibabic.
Luckily, they were shocked|in the city hall.
They wanted to arrest him for|insulting the dead President.
AII right comrades,|I've changed my mind,
Let's caII him Ramiz.
No, Pinki, caII him Pinki!
Pinki!
l was marked for life,|folks!
l knew l was destined|for great deeds.
That reaIIy suits you.
Hey, kid! Take that off|and come here.
Get a good Iook, eh?
It seems you'd shag my|IittIe girI, wouIdn't you?
Come on now, Kure.
of course you wouId.
Kure, send the kids home.|-What for?
Let them Iearn something.|-Come on!
D'you know how to treat|this sort of bird?
D'you take her|to a museum, eh?
What wouId you do in|a museum, you IittIe trash?
Have you ever wondered why|there's no shagging
in oId American fiIms?|That's because Kagny and Bogy
didn't want to give away|their trade secrets.
Spit your gum out!
Shagging is an art. Pay|attention! First stage:
the neck. A serious job,|three to eight seconds.
Kure... -Come on!|Look here...
PIease don't, not|in front of the kids.
Second stage,|the anaesthetic.
The ear: ten to|fifteen seconds!
What are you staring at,|you IittIe bastards?
Get off!
Don't interrupt me!|Where was I?
Where was I?!|-The anaesthetic.
Third stage, fantasy!
Hand... crowIing,|crowIing... -Fuck you.
Look, the anaesthetic's|aIready working. -Fuck you.
You fucking bustard, Kure!
Look what you've done,|you wanker!
What a temper!
I'm gonna marry her,|reaIIy I am. -ReaIIy?
You cow! Come here.
ReaIIy?|-Come here.
Does it hurt?
Don't be ridicuIous.
But why didn't you teII me|it was bothering you?
You're so strange.
Look how stressed out I am,|I'm aII shaky. -CooI down.
Kids, go home.
UncIe Kure, are you|gonna fuck now?
Kevin Keegan!
Kure isn't a maniac.|Shut the door... My sweetie.
My wounded hand is crowIing...|-You're tickIing me.
Shagging is an art.
Of course Uncle Kure was|a maniac, someone who lives
at a hundred miles an hour,
who doesn't give a fuck|about anything.
Mother, buy me a gun,|to kiII my man,
who cheats on me every night.
Mother, buy me a syringe,|to overdose my man.
shvaba was also a bit like|that - a maniac. A quiet lad,
but there was no screwing|around with him.
KiII him Shvaba, kiII him,|bash his brains out!
HeeI, Shvaba, heeI!
That's probably why|Kure liked him.
Drop it!
To cut my man's throat, 'cos|he cheats on my every night,
mother, buy me a knife.
Mother, a knife!
Go on, sing!
Carry on!
Keep going!
You see, in school|l had all A's.
That's why for me weapons|took second place!
Even third.|ln first place were...
That's the most important|thing for business.
Pepper's a reaI geezer!
As if, you know!|Take this shit away.
And there was work|all over Europe.
You're Iying through your|fucking teeth. Get Iost, Rex!
A few of us were in fact|representing serbian culture.
CooI down, Kure.|-Shut it!
We were building up|this country's image.
Listen to this cant|taIking out of this arse!
We used to watch|''The Beat of the Street''
every Wednesday at Kure's.|For us kids it was
as popular as ''Beverly Hills'',|even more than ''Red Star''.
l still have fond memories|of some of those trips.
Frakfort on Mine, Munich,|dusseldorf, Bundesbank,
Offenbach, piggy bank,|dortmund...
He's the biggest fucking|cunt grass.
Grassing peopIe up took|first, second and third
pIace with you, mate!|-You know, in the West,
a serb was treated like|a gentleman.
I'II put an end to this|boIIocks, you cunt!
SEVEN DAYS LATER
And now our neighbour|Lydia returns to our story.
Here she is, foIks,|isn't she a star?
Lydia used to bring all the|top criminals, mobsters,
our idols in fact,|onto her programme.
Let's see which sIime-baII's|on this week.
Look at him!|Are you counting, Shvaba?
Who, l hope, would open his|heart to you and to me.
Stole, draw!
Where did she get this|peasant from?
He shouIdn't be|on a kids show!
Are you counting, Svaba?
At that time we fought|according to a certain code,
fists only, but it wasn't|always fair play.
Here's an example|for your viewers.
Stole, you cant!|What a gentleman!
And what about poor Zvonce,|whom you shot from behind!?
God rest his souI.
Don't upset yourseIf Kure,|pIease! -Who's getting upset?
Who?|-Don't, Kure!
Give us a fag, kid!
Once me and my friend|Zvonce fell out
and agreed to settle things|in a civilised way...
Give us a fag!
...with fists,|just the two of us!
Robber!|Knight, my arse!
When l get there l see two|parked cars and say to myself:..
Shvaba, have I reached|hundred and fifty yet?
Even more!
l say to myself: Well done,|but that's impossible.
sounds exciting.
Hey kids, wouId you|give Lydia one?
I heard that!|-Quiet, in there.
of course not,|she's DiaboIa's Mum.
Why d'you fantasise about|her when you wank, then?
That's not the same,|is it, uncIe Kure?
WeII, Iads, that's a|phiIosophicaI question.
Bring that kid aIong,|I want to meet him.
You go on, he is asIeep!
oh, no, not that camoufIage|business again.
Don't go, Kure,|it's dangerous!
What's wrong with you,|I'm onIy going hunting...
for bunny rabbits!
Be brave... Heroes,
let's finish them off.
They won't surrender.
show them all your|strength and power,
as you did all along.
Be brave, they're|definitely broken!
Get up, you Iazy sods!
I'm bIeeding whiIe|you're sIeeping!
I'II draft you aII!|You Iazy bastards!
Everybody down in|five minutes!
Inspection! Fitness training|for the body. And the spirit!
Kure! Ugh, bIood!
It's not mine, it's|from the bunny rabbit.
A souvenir for you...|Shvaba, come here!
What d'you want? -You said|there'd be an inspection.
Get the fuck out of here.
Shvaba, take this in.
Kure, where's my microwave?|-Give us a Iist next time!
Neighbour, how was|the weekend?
Was there any fighting?
Everything for mother|Serbia, everything!
My universities: M. Gorki|G. Pinki (G = Giza)
Come on.|Put your head here.
Don't breathe.
Can you here anything?|-Yes, I can, uncIe Kure.
What can you hear?|You can hear my arse!
Listen. It's on and|you can't hear it.
Kure's bought a BMW, folks.
GoIden hands!|Give us that!
Not that... I'II make|a man out of you yet.
It's a miracIe what a man|can do with his ten fingers!
And remember, every skiII is|worth its weight in goId!
How could l explain to him,
that me and shvaba were|already learning our trade?
Shitting yourseIves, eh?|Watch this, you pussies!
Like in|''The BattIe of Neretva''.
When the Chetniks rode|into battIe
and those partisan cunts|hid behind the gravestones!
There goes SIy.|-UncIe Kure...
Come here. Have you ever|seen ''The BattIe of Neretva''?
You arsehoIes|haven't got a cIue!
D'you think I couId|shoot a bit?
What did your Mum say, when|am I gonna be on the show?
She said that Rat, Pepper|and Bones are on first.
of course, if they survive|that Iong. -of course.
And me? When's my turn?
Go on, spit it out!|-WeII... She says...
you're not|in the same cIass.
That's what she says, is it?
Have you seen|''The Godfather''?
You haven't got a cIue!
Go home!
Rat, Pepper...
So you think that's funny?
Do you, you cunts?
That's not very|nice, is it?
You're my friends,|your Iaughter hurts me.
I've decided to share|the pain with you. Shvaba...
Lets pIay... ''steeI fists''.
D'you want it now or straight|away? -Straight away.
Who's a hard nut then?|''Enter the Dragon'', eh?
Want some more?|-Yes.
You do, do you?
Come on, then.|-No probs, uncIe Kure.
Is that enough for you,|peasant?
Not yet!|-Not yet!
Hang on, there's no hurry.
Right, now... off you go.
Come on, Shvaba.
That's right, you're|reaIIy hard, Shvaba.
A beating can be|a good thing, foks.
lt is a good way of checking|if you're a man or a pussy.
The problem is that|most people find out
they're a pussy.
You want be seeing|that bastard any more!
Do you wanna be a criminaI?
Stojan, you've Iost count!|-No, I'm counting to myseIf.
That's fifty, Stojan!
Kevin Keegan!
Kevin Keegan!|Kevin Keegan!
That was the end of wanking,|real life had begun.
Kevin, d'you want a Iick?
Kure, how many more of these|morons do I have to do
for hundred marks. I didn't|know it'd be such hard work.
Let the kid enjoy himseIf|and stop taIking crap.
How did I do it, uncIe Kure?|-Very good, peasant.
Shagging's an art.|Go on, give it a wash.
Get a move on, kid.
What's up with you, you cunt,|shitting yourseIf, eh?
Thank God for that.|Next!
WeII done, Iad.
What are you staring at?|Go for it!
Come on, kid,|you're the Iast one.
Have you faIIen in Iove?
Come cIoser.
What're you doing, eh?
Kure, he can't do it! -What|d'you think, he can't do it?
Get Iost, geek!
UnbeIievabIe! What are we|gonna do about it?
Get your pants off!
oK, no probIems.
Don't worry, Kure'II|sort you out!
Be quiet!...|AIternative medicine!
Come here.|-Don't, uncIe Kure...!
Concentrate, stand up|straight... Shut up!
SureIy we won't go to the|doctor's because of this.
This isn't America.|ProbIem soIved.
Wow, a shish kebab!|Come on, go for it!
Kure, the kid's is doing it!|-Give it to her, Iad.
Go on, cunt! Sing!|-Kevin Keegan!
l'd be lying to you if|l didn't tell you
that at one moment l felt|sorry for diabola.
But that was just for|a short, fleeting moment.
As Kure says, you're either|fucking or being fucked,
there's nothing in-between.
A rebeIIion of mice, foIk.|This isn't our war.
Did you watch the Iatest|''The Beat of the Street''?
LittIe Lemon sIagged us off.
Kids are getting|nasty these days.
I'm sorry that Kure never|made it on the show.
He was reaIIy into the idea.
Who gives a fuck|about him, the cunt.
Get the fuck out|of the way, bIoody mice!
If onIy the sanctions wouId|Iast a bit Ionger,
we'd be made.
Look at that beauty, eh?
What's going on here?
Look at Peppers's Merc.|-500 E, hand made. -Shut it!
Did you watch the Iatest|''The Beat of the Street''?
Wasn't Bones fuII of shit?
Pepper, mate, this is|a highway robbery!
What're you doing?!
You're a fast one, kid.|-Give me that gun!
Haven't I toId you before
not to interrupt me|whiIe I'm taIking!
Sorry, Pepper. -Let's caII|Bones and have some fun.
What the fuck are|you pIaying at?
D'you know who I am?|-I do.
Here's five grand now. Come|and get the rest tomorrow.
Why are you fucking with me?|I'm not one of your jerks!
Come out and Iets fight for|it Iike in the good oId days!
Keep this shit.
AII that taIks about|good oId days!
The nostaIgia'II kiII you.
HeIIo? Bones?
I couId've bIown that cunt's|brains out, uncIe Kure.
He deserved it!
I'II beat the shit out of|you in two years!
There's not enough time, son.|1 995 is a Iong way off.
Let's do it now!|- Fuck off! Go home!
That petroI's dodgey, get|the hose and suck it out!
Dodgy, ah? Here you are,|drink it!
What're you pIaying at,|stop it!
PIaning a budget is the art|of survivaI in the difficuIt
circumstances our|country is facing.
Pension, five hundred|and sixty four biIIion,
eight hundred and thirty|two miIIion,
four hundred and|thirty five thousand,
four hundred and seventy|five and a haIf dinars.
Write this down:|CounciI tax, one biIIion,
TV Iicence, five biIIion,
food, not a Iot, but heaIthy,|twenty eight biIIion...
Cross out UgIjeshas|eight miIIion.
EIectricity, twenty five|biIIion. Heating...
What heating,|fucking bastards! !
That's impossibIe!|You and your maths!
Do it again!
Something's wrong.|Do it again.
EIectricity...
Do it again, but|without the eIectricity.
Pension, five hundred and|sixty four biIIion...
Golden Hand used to bullshit|that '93 was the worst year
in the history|of the serbian nation.
l couldn't've give a toss|about the nation, folks.
For me and shvaba|it was the best year.
ln one summer we grew|ten centimetres.
Just the right amount,|folks!
dope, folks! An expanding|market economy.
lt was a great year|for this line of work.
lnflation at fuck knows|what percent.
People lost|everything they had.
It's ready, uncIe Kure!
Kure, the kid said that|the scag's ready.
compared to others,|Kure was lucky.
He only become smack head.
Shut up! Use your wiIIpower!|Count to twenty.
one, two, three... eight...
It's about Ninana.|Thirty five stab wounds.
Your first Iove|has gone.
Not so fast.
Don't Kure, why're|you being Iike that?
Pinki, come on.
Look at the tits I bought|her, two grand each.
Suzy, show the kids|the Grand Canyon.
Can I go first, Kure?
I've got a concert tonight,|how am I gonna sing?
oK scum, shoot her up!
Sing, Suzy, sing!
Thanks, Kure.
Look at my Suzy, the first|vein of BeIgrade. And wider.
l put a gun in his mouth,|he started mumbling...
How can you be bothered?
l told him, you should see|a speech therapist, mate.
Sing!
''For the Serbian forces,|that was the onIy way...''
Bravo! See you, peasants!
Let's go.
Don't.|-Look at the state of him!
Look at him!
ln serbia, in this trade,|you graduate by shooting
your teacher. We didn't have|a hope in hell of graduating.
Kure was making sure of that.
Mr. Pinki,|how's schooI going?
Suck my dick, you oId fart.
slowly we've been taking|over the whole neighborhood.
Nevenka, come and|watch the news!
lt took my stupid dad|ten years to make it
from a first sergeant|to a sergeant mayor.
And look at me, folks,|then judge who got it right!
So you're moving|to SIovenia, eh?
No, to the posh|part of town.
Give us a ring sometime.
We've got a job for you.|-oK -See you.
Darko, Iet's get out of here.|Get that Iorry moving.
What are you offering|that pratt a job for,
he'II have|the pigs onto us!
Who's there?
The big bad woIf and the|LittIe Red Riding Hood!
Where've you been 'tiII now?|-At schooI, on detention.
Gran, give us something|to scoff!
Get Iost!|-Don't pick on Madonna.
Our base was at shvaba's, he|lived alone with his Granny.
lf you don't count the hens.
In '41 in the middIe of the|night, Ustashas came into
Crnici and cut the throats|of about two hundred peopIe.
The murdering bustards!
Somehow I managed to escape,|got to the river,
jumped into the water,|Iooked and sow...
What did you see, Granny?
Kids have you got|a cigarette for Granny?
Here you are, Granny,|an American one.
AngIo-American?
WeII, Granny, where were we?|-oh, yes, Ustashas!
TeII us, Granny, did they|cut your throat or not?
I saw them running after me.
Somehow I managed|to swim across the Rzava.
Shit, what a name - Rzava!|-Rzava, I aImost drowned.
Where's that,|is it in DisneyIand?
There was a fuII moon, wouId|you fucking beIieve it,
everything was Iit up!
And Ustashas, with those|big knives in their theets...
Wow, Granny,|Iook at that. A Jedi!
What a story, Granny! We'II|get you some coke tomorrow.
I'd rather have a cock, son.
Look at the way they're|pIaying... Like red-Indians!
Indians!|Gimme a bear.
And you're red-Indians,|too. Brought up
on this reservation,|in this condom of a country!
And you strike fucking|attitudes. Doing a job, eh?
What d'you think you're|doing, you fucking cant!
What the fuck d'you want?
UncIe Kure, there's a fat|faggot here
wants a word with you.
Where is he, the pig?
Did I get him?
of course, uncIe Kure,|you're the bizz!
of course I am, you Apache!
When I remember...|DusseIdorf, Bundesbank,
in the middIe of the day...
I just went in, good morning,|three grand better off...
Do you know how much is it?|I mean... quantitative?
The pigs came,|speciaI branches...
I jumped out of the widow,|somersauIted,
open fracture,|didn't feeI a thing!
What's that?|-A fIy, uncIe Kure.
That was business.
Not Iike you, drug pushing.
In my time that|was dishonourabIe.
They knew what honour|was then.
Now there's onIy shit Ieft.
Pinki, get rid of those|fIies that are pestering
uncIe Kure!|Show some respect!
Good morning, uncIe Kure.|-Red-Indians!
Bogi, Kagny, CIint
and UncIe Kure'II aIways|be cowboys for you!
At your age, I screwed|a bIack girI in Amsterdam.
It's not worth mentioning|the EiffeI Tower.
D'you Comanches know how|a reaI bIack girI shag?
The fuck you do!
A fIy, eh!
Pepper!
Where are you, pussy?|I've been waiting for you.
Hide and seek, eh?
one, two, three...
Neighbour...
You'II wake everyone up.
When the Serbian peopIe were|going through hard times,
Kure feIt their pain|Iike reaI patriotic Serb.
Like many of us, he decided|to heIp our peopIe to defend
hearth and home, aIong|with our ancestor's graves.
Ljubisa Kurcubic Kure,|in a word, a knight
in a shining armour,|a true patriot!
He was a good man. Handsome.|-And Serb. -Tosser.
Not an ordinary man,|a big man!
He had a great heart.|-Here's our obituary:
''UncIe Kure, up there from|the HoIIy Iand,
you'II see us|with his baIIs in hand''.
You're a poet, Pinki.|Who d'you think did it?
The one who wrote|the Iongest obituary...
or the one who's|making the speech.
Good bIess him.
''BIack Raven''.
Hey, Ljubisa, BIack Raven,
you've found a home forever.
We're Iate! You're|in deep shit now!
Get a move on, pratts!
Look, the coffin's gone!
Excuse me, I'm from the TV,|we're Iate.
WouId it be a probIem|to dig him up again,
so I can fiIm it. -Look|it's her from the teIIy!
Pepper, so you're stiII|aIive then!
oh, it's you, Liki,|you scam bag!
Fuck yourseIf!|My condoIences.
I'm reaIIy sorry he didn't|make it onto my show.
Another time.
Wreath, cIose up on the cross,|and make your own way home.
You've reaIIy grown,|now you're reaI young man.
Did you ask her?|-Ask what?
Which one of us was|the better fuck? -Yes I did.
She said we were very|different. -That's no answer.
I agree... But I won't|be abIe to ask her again.
The Iast round, Kure!
I'II find that cunt!
You'II kiII the bastard.
Thanks, uncIe Pepper.|-See you.
Come on, you junkie scum!
D'you know why they|caIIed him crazy Kure?
They say that when he was on|''The Beat of the Street''
he grabbed one of Lydia's|tits! -Kure was never
on ''The Beat of the Street''.|Get Iost!
Come on, scumbag.|Look at the state of you.
I'II take to the raiIway|station
and Iet aII the|deadbeats screw you.
or I'II screw you with|an eIectric saw.
HeIIo, uncIe Pepper.|-HeIIo.
Who are they?|-Kures's kids.
AII these new kids|are the same? AwfuI!
Shvaba, are you mad|or what? Come on!
Is he different?|-What's the fuck with you?!
Is he different?|-What do you care?
I've got rid of aII the geer.
You're not the same,|reaIIy you're not.
Am I the same? -Look at|Shvaba, producing eggs.
Am I the same?!
Why don't you have more|faith in yourseIf?
You can't come if you|don't respect yourseIf.
You'II end up with|an inferiority compIex.
Go and keep Gran|company for a bit.
Let's ask Granny if she|thinks you're the same.
Gran!
Gran, this here is a naturaI|remedy for bIocked sinuses.
Is it that ''UncIe Joe's''|cure''?
No, I got it straight|from JaiIbird himseIf.
It feeIs good, eh Granny?|Sweet marjoram.
l looked at shvabas Gran.
she looked really sweet|at that moment.
And then l thought of|another old woman,
some shit from the school.
That famous murder of an oId|Iady, and her kiIIer,
RaskoInikov, entered|the history books
in the way the American fiIm|never wiII. Dostoyevsky...
For two months, leper face|talked bollocks about some
fella who did some granny in.|And then he apparently
wondered if he should've|done it in the first place.
Man, a whole book about|doing some old woman in!
What if he'd bumped off|some great-looking chick?
Would they fuck've put|that on the curriculum!
Then the first time l killed|someone came into my mind...
There was no should l,|shouldn't l,
l just went for it.|But l didn't feel the need
to write a book about it.|Me and writing...
What a strange smell a gun has|when you kill someone with it,
or am l imagining things...
Here l go again, telling|the story from the end...
instead of how it|all started.
Quiet Nevenka,|the kid'II hear us!
Shut up whiIe I'm|fucking you.
Eh, Bertha... Good Iuck|on our first break-in!
diabola had tipped us off|about some old guy, Stubac,
one of his Mum's friends,|a news presenter.
Look, he's fIoating!
What did DiaboIa say|the combination was?
What's that? The Iast time|he got his and away?
The date of some congress,|who gives a toss?
A great combination!
Readies!
WouId you fuck me,|eh, mate? -of course.
Fat head, switch that off,|I can't see a bIoody thing!
SiIver medaI for you,|Granddad! -Who are you?
Hoards of Ustashan cut-throats|and MusIim fanatics.
We've come to brake|your baIIs for sIagging
us off on the news!|Take your cIothes off!
Who d'you work for?|It's not about money, is it?
What they say about my visits|to Knin is aII rubbish.
I'm IoyaI!|Can I invite Zikica?
Is he the one I fucked?|-Look at the swan, Granddad!
Kid, give me the gun!
This is real killing!
Look at him, mate.|Dead!
Are you interested|to know who Zikica is?
Let her have it!
You're on ''The Beat of the|Street'' next Wednesday, oK?
Us?
Yes. Why?
oK. -Now one|practicaI advice.
Shoot him in the head to make|it Iook Iike a cop kiIIing.
Did you hear that,|you fat head!
D'you know haw IoveIy|the MaIdives are,
even IoveIier than Dubrovnik!|-LoveIier than what?
I'II see you on Wednesday.
Fuck it, man!
We're on the show, us! !
Look at the swan!
Are you hungry? Gran,|have you been to the shops?
What's the matter with you?
You didn't find the stash|under the mattress, did you?
Gran, do you hear me?
Didn't I teII you to keep|the drugs away from her!
It's not that,|Iook at the teIIy.
She's in a state 'cos|of the Ustashas.
Knin is now under the|control of croatian Troops.
civilians and serbian army|left the city.
serbian soldiers offer|heavy resistance
in this area. croatian|forces in Kraina...
There were others who didn't|take the fall of Kraina well.
This is a betrayaI,|you bastards!
You betrayed the sacred|Serbian Iand of Kraina!
Don't, Stojan! -You're|disturbing the neighbours!
BetrayaI! -Someone'II|caII the poIice!
Let them caII!|This is for poIice!
CaIm down, neighbour,|everything'II be oK!
You don't give a toss about|the sacred Iand of Kraina!
Half a million people have|left their homes
and are on|their way to serbia...
Have you got any pictures|of that traitor?
Which one, Dad?|-You've got it easy?
lt's nice to see people not|afraid to show their feelings,
especially when he's|your dad!
Good evening viewers.|Tonight, on the program,
we have two unusual guests.|Unusual because of...
...their age.
Pinki...
Stojan! our|Pinki's on the teIIy!
...would you like to tell|us how old you are?
While most kids your age|are at school,
you've chosen a different|path. Why?
Life forced it on us.|-What do you mean?
l'm winding you up.
Funny. Have you ever been|even slightly wounded?
cat got your tongue?|-No, l mean, not yet.
That's the truth!|We've never been wounded.
What the fuck are you on,|put it back.
Everything's cool, mate,|keep rolling.
We don't use guns here...|-When you said
that we'd never been wounded,|it sounded like
you were trying to slag|us off. -calm down, mate!
l didn't come here for|someone to take the piss!
don't give me that,|you didn't mean it!
There, l'm wounded now.|ls that OK?
What a great feeling, pal.
Really great!
do you want us to call|a doctor?
d'you wanna have a go, pal?|-Why not?
d'you want it in the head?|-Yeah? OK, but just a bit...
l'm stopping the programme!
Go on, you little shits, go|home! -sit down!
What d'you mean,|stop the program?!
l'll fucking well|show you lot!
Leave her alone... lt's|time for some refreshment.
shvaba, don't embarrass|me on the telly.
Want some?|-No, thanks.
What's up with you, mice,|shitting yourself, eh?
Western economists are|pilling their hair out
and asking themselves how|it is possible that serbia
has the largest growing|economy in Europe...
Let's see the report...
What's wrong, Dad?
I thought you couId take me|into action sometimes.
I'm good with weapons.|That's my profession.
But Nevenka mustn't|find out.
Great! Your dad wants|to be a criminal!
ToiIet - 1 50 marks,|pipe - thirty marks.
Pension - 35 marks.|If I save up,
in 8 months I'II be shitting|Iike a gentIeman again.
That's not bad,|not bad at aII...
Get a hoId of yourseIf,|Pinki.
l felt like crying.|And l did cry, mates,
but you want see that.|Pinki's not whimp.
PINKI CRIES
Moneeeeey!
D'you know me? -I do!|-I don't know you!
What're you on?
See, mate, he knows me,|but I don't know him!
Hey, you reaIIy did the biz.|-Who's this faggot?
Hey, geezer.|You're the best, go for it!
And he knows me,|but I don't know him.
Who's that?
Even he knows me and I don't|know him! -Fuck off!
What do you mean, fuck off!|I know you, you know me!
And they aII know you.|D'you know them!?
I don't know you!
Good evening! -Is there|a probIem with this invaIid?
Which invaIid?|-ReIax.
Let's pIay red gIoves!
You sing Iike|MichaeI Jackson.
I'II pay up. The money's|under the veaI!
Mistreating people helped|me not to think about
my stupid dead father or my|mother. lt's better to treat
other people badly rather|than yourself, isn't it?
I hope I wasn't in the way.
I've been doing a programme|about this for three years
and I've never seen this Iive!|-It's the best when it's Iive.
Money? Is this about money?|I have money.
WouId you Iike this RoIex...|Merc... What?
No, what is then?|You want a gIory, eh?
This isn't a quiz show,|you faggot!
You've seen a murder. What|eIse are you interested in?
Lots of things. Thanks for|the entertainment. Bye, kids.
Thanks for the information,|mate!
Bosnian send his regards,|that's a bad sigh!
And the cops are asking about|us. I've ordered passports.
We couId go away for a bit,|Germany.
Shag a few bIack girIs, eh?
What the fuck are you on?
Get on with your drawing,|you moron!
I'm not running away|Iike a fucking whimp!
And I don't Iike|bIack girIs, get it?
Get it?|-I get it.
Am I interrupting?|-Come in.
Why're you so untidy?
I hear you're skipping|the country. Wise move.
Whoever said that can|suck my dick! -I sad it.
I know!
Come on kids,|why are you arguing?
How's the wound? Let me|have a Iook at it.
I'm off. I've got|something to do. -Bye, Pinki.
Here you are, sir. -Why're|you shitting yourseIf?
D'you know what I'm|gonna do to you?
You've got no idea|what I'm gonna do to you.
Don't you know what you are?|A whore, that's what!
That's right, I'm a whore.|And what now?
What are we gonna do now,|me and you?
Why don't you answer?
Your friend might be caIIing.
Answer the phone.|-I wiII.
They're fitting our car up!|D'you know how cIose I was?
We've gotta get out of here!
Put it down, further down...
Set it off, Pinki.
Kids are turning really|nasty these days,
especially those two puffs|from those breeze blocks.
l've got a song for them.|''Give her my regards!''
But it isn't a love song.|Think about it, kids!
A bullet in the arse is the|movie. We're more creative!
We've got a guest, Granny.
You're dead.
The sponsors of the murder|which was just announced
is democracy Lights.|-What do I owe you?
Another appearance on|the show in '97.
'97 is a long way off.|-Don't taIk boIIocks.
What're you doing here?
Pinki caIIed me.|He's got a surprise for you.
Pinki, you cunt!
That's not fair!
She's mine!
What's the matter with|you?! Fuck it!
Fuck it...
Sonny! It's just been|on the teIIy!
The sanctions have been|Iifted! Thanks God!
l managed to smile, folks.
l guess that's a sure sign|that you're gonna croak.
Four strait through and|one near the heart.
What's your name, kid?
My name is Bond.|James Bond.
Suck my dick, you oId git!
You might have noticed that|l lied. My name is Pinki.
But it's nice to die like|James Bond, isn't it?
ln every American movie|there's that really
sickly bit. When the hero has|just narrowly escaped death
and outside it's apparently|a beautiful day.
l suppose they want to say|that life's a wonderful thing.
lt was a shitty day outside,
but at least there's|a couple of doves.
And the same dream|every night, folks.
We'll meet in the better|world, pal.
Get a move on, cunts!
CarefuI, you bastards! If he|dies, you're dead, get it!?
Let's start from|the beginning.
Just whisper the name|of whoever shot you!
I've aIready toId you.|I was cIeaning Dad's gun
and it went off. -So how|come you've got five wounds?
I don't give up easiIy.
Leave the sun of the God|in peace. Can't you see,
they're God's wounds.|The wounds of our Lord
Jesus Christ! Look!|They're sacred wounds!
We'II taIk again. -Look, he|can't do anything to you!
Thanks, Granddad.|-Those wounds...
are the sign from God.|You've been chosen.
Touch me, HoIIy Man, heaI me.|You can see I'm dying!
The streets of Belgrade are|today flushing with shame.
The citizens of our capital|city, are victim of terror,
due to a handful of fascist|hooligans who for the last
few days have been throwing|thousands of eggs
at the facades of our|city's buildings.
Are you going to start|throwing bread tomorrow?
something's going on outside.|someone stole someone's votes.
lt wasn't me, l swear|on my Mom's life.
l've got an alibi,|as you can see.
HoIy Man...|pIease take me with you.
There's nothing Ieft|for me here.
You're my onIy hope,|pIease, HoIy Man!
You're confusing me|with someone eIse.
You're back, then?
I came to see you in the|hospitaI,
but you were in a coma.
You Iook oK. -Give me the|piece. -I haven't got it.
You're Iooking for Shvaba?
He's a reaI cunt.|I'II teII you where he is.
No, thanks. What did you|caII Shvaba? A cunt, eh?
Sorry.
As Shvaba says... Serbs|don't cry Iike pussies!
Did you understand?|-Yes, I did.
No, you didn't.
It's onIy a joke.
oh, it's you, sweetie!
Now it fits you just weII.
DiaboIa can't get it up, eh?
Who cares, he Iooks after me.|-I appreciate that.
What're you Iooking at?|My impIants, eh?...
I've soId them. I'm not in|a show business any more.
Anyway, naturaI's|more beautifuI.
He toId you to|give him a ring.
Is Shvaba there?
I was waiting for|you to caII.
You know what we have to do.|-I know, paI. Thanks.
Have you got everything|we need? -I wiII have.
Pinki?|-What?
What about Lydia? -Nothing,|paI. TeII her heIIo.
l shouldn't say that.
What did he say?
To teII heIIo.|-That was nice of him.
of course,|he's a poIite Iad.
You haven't been arguing,|have you?
Cat got your tongue?
shvaba's a bit of|a strange guy.
He thought l was to shy to|say it. so he killed her
in any case, to show|me his appreciation.
lt's nice to have|that sort of friend.
Now I'm demonstrating|as weII!
cat got your tongue?
Go on, tell me.
Your guests kill for money|or revenge. l don't see the...
Attraction, eh?|What about Ninana?
Stabbed, 35 times, Mum.|You can't tell me
that was for revenge.|-You're a real daftie.
How d'you expect to become a|criminal when you're ticklish?
You'll end up like Ninana,|Mummy! -Me! You'll see!
What're you gonna do|to DiaboIa now?
Why?|-WeII, 'cos of Kure.
So, he kiIIed uncIe Kure!|WeII, he never Iet on.
Are you gonna kiII him?
Don't be daft.
Come by.
Who's gonna demonstrate|if you youngsters don't!
Come on! Lets drown|on the TV news!
Commie bastards!
lf dad were alive,
would he be faffing around|with pots and pans?
No, he wouldn't,|he wasn't that type.
Times have changed,|but as far as l'm concerned,
a gun's better than|a pot or a whistle any day!
A man can't change|at my age!
I'm sorry about Granny.
Fuck it, the first time she|voted against MiIosevic,
she went to bed and died.|She must have been scared.
ShaII we do it|straight away?
Let's drive around|the town for a bit.
Like we used to do,|eh, paI?
Buy some aIcohoI, bandages,|gauze... and some pIasters.
Very considerate paI,|I wouIdn't've remembered.
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
Excuse me... -We're cIosed.|You'II have to come tomorrow!
It's urgent, Mrs,|I need some things.
Someone's been wounded.|-Who's wounded?
Fuck you, bitch!|open up!
Nice Iady.|-Yeah.
Nice to see you again, paI.|Never mind the...
What d'you caII it...|-Consequences?
I reaIIy got you, eh paI?
It's not too bad.|Where're we gonna do it?
our there.|A fIood Iit finaI, paI...
it'd be a shame|to strain your eyes!
ShaII we start?
You choose the weapon,|it's onIy right.
You choose.|-The TT's better.
It depends. The TT is better|for under the shouIder,
for the rest,|we can use yours.
Are you scared?
TeII me. -I couIdn't give|a toss, Iets get on with it!
What're you doing?
Five'd be enough. -Why? In|case you get carried away
and keep on shooting?
Last shooting, paI.
What eIse is there?|-Nothing, probabIy.
oK, you can start, paI.|-ShaII we roII up, first?
Not now paI,|better at haIftime.
Where d'you want it first?|-Where did it heaI fastest?
Nowhere. ShaII we|start with the Ieg?
Maybe that's not such a good|idea 'cos of footbaII.
Never mind, we'II pIay the|tabIe footbaII.
Look what you've done to me,|I've started hiccuping.
Now you'II have to|give my a fright!
Did that do it?
I've stopped hiccuping,|thanks paI!
You're doing weII.
What's next?|-Warm up a bit,
so that you don't miss|the one near the heart.
I'm on top form, paI!
Trust me!|-oK... Here'II do.
A good choice, paI.|SteeI yourseIf!
It's oK, paI. I'm getting|used to it. -So am I!
I'm stiII Ieading 5:3, paI.|ShaII we carry on?
Yeah, 5:5 is a good resuIt!
Then you know that|it was a great match.
Have ''Red Star'' scored 5|recentIy?
I don't foIIow any more.|It's a crap game.
I guess they're Iacking|that...
Motivation.|-Yeah, that shit.
onIy morons are stiII into|footbaII these days, paI!
You've gotta be|into something.
What happens when you|can't find anything?
Then you're fucked,|I reckon.
Fuck it, take your Dad,|for instance.
What did he get out|of it?
We're better of Iike this.|What's wrong with us?
You Iike my cross, eh, paI?
It's yours.
It's just a cross.|Now it's time for the bizz.
I'II give you a discount.
one wound. -Thanks paI,|but you don't have to.
After aII, you are|my best mate.
Choose which one you want.|Let's make it the other hand!
So I won't be abIe to wank,|eh, paI?
No, Iet's go for the|bizz, near the heart!
Come on, cIose your eyes,|wiII you!
Are your hands shaking?|-No.
Get on with it, mate.|-Stop farting around!
You, cunts!
Why her, why d'you have|to kiII her!
I'II fucking weII|have you for that!
This is a Iaugh!
Pretending to be an|Ustasha, again, eh!?
I'II decide who I'm|gonna be, not you!
Go on then, decide!
Just don't pretend to be|a geezer 'cos you're a cunt!
Why don't you pretend to be|your Mum so we can shag you!
one buIIet, paI.|Now, he's for it!
Come on,|Iets do it together!
so here we are at the end|of our story, folks.
You, mice,
if you wanna be cool, then|l'm definitely your idol.
l'm only sorry that l|haven't been abroad,
but you can't do everything|in life, can you?
There're bustards everywhere,|what difference does it make?
l also wish l could've|shagged that black girl.
As for the Eiffel Tower|that Kure used to talk about,
well l couldn't give a toss.|l swear on my Mom's life.
This is the end, folks.
And, you know, l'm|better off that you lot!
DVD Authoring|DiMEDIA Group