Southern China, early 20th century.
english subtitle provided by The Nobodies~
ceiling of the sky~
corners of the earth~
dearest friends mostly gone~
drink this bottle of stall wine to get a taste of what is left~
sun sets beyond the mountains~
fabulous, fabulous!
advisor Tang
are you talking about the food or the song?
song is fabulous, food is fabulous too
all good, all fabulous!
I made a living all around the country
is because of my unique ability to mix brutes with brains
not only can I enjoy the luxuries in life
but with taste~
Governor Ma is such a romantic
just like
"wind blows the cloud up high"
bullshit!
"Liu Bang" is a despicable coward!
"strengths to lift mountains and top the world"
bullshit!
bullshit, buillshit
advisor Tang
if you try to kiss my ass
you must pass madam first
write a poem, write a poem
it has to talk about wind, and meat
there has to be hotpot, and fog
beutiful women, and donkey!
get up, get up, get up
let's eat together! sing together!
report to the Governor! We the cold-blooded eithteenth star army
will escort the Governor safely to the post!
WE!
DO NOT EAT!
missed?
let the bullets fly for a while
No.2, No.3 follow me
everyone else go catch the horses!
hotpot?
dad, I've looked everywhere
no money, no booty, and no silver
only two men here left alive, kill them?
where's the money hidden? talk
you don't speak out before the clock rings
head will roll
cry!
crying is counting in your time
just tell him whatever you know
this madam, you are?
I am Mrs.Governor
forgive my rudeness!
that leaves you the Governor?
I have money! I have money!
I follow the governor to his new post
the governor drowned, we don't have any right now
once we get the job! once we get the job, we'll have money
I'll give you another round
keep talking from where you bribed the job
and the money?
spent on bribing
what for?
to make money
how much?
doubled
how long?
one year
you want me to fucking wait for a year?
half, half a year!
if lucky, a month will do!
the governor is dead, who's going to take the position?
me
who are you?
the advisor
a fucking advisor dares to pretend to be a governor?
nobody knows what the governor looks like
how many times have you done this?
twice a year
for how many years?
eight years
for 8 years, 8 x 8 = 64, you've made 6.4 million?
he, he did, the governor made 6.4 million!
I'm just the advisor, I only get the pocket change!
never missed?
no need for muscle, only brains, no bloodshed
where's the job this time?
goose city
your train got robbed, and your men all dead, how are you going to report of this?
I bought the train, I hired the men, nobody will ask
nobody will ask
don't! don't!
don't take off your mask! please don't!
I know the rules!
I won't live once I saw your faces
please let me go, let me go to goose city
I'll give you all the money I make! all of it!
my brothers did this gig
made not a single dime, does it sound right?
that's not right
you lose a life just by taking a peek at me, does it sound right?
most definitely not!
let me borrow those drowned men of yours
go ahead! they are all worst scumbags of the earth, they deserve it!
wait, hold on, but what can you use dead men for?
sometimes the dead are more useful than the living.
advisor, open your eyes and take a look at me
no
look at me
no, no
just take a look
nonononono
advisor, what's your name?
what's your fucking name?
last name Tang
advisor Tang, I'll be the governor
you keep doing your job for me
let's go take a walk to goose city
madam, how about a ride?
whatever
brothers, to goose city!
to goose city!
my brothers had a slip of hand
and caused the unfortunate death of your husband
I am truely sorry
I've been a widow for the four times already
then please don't let the fifth time happen!
that'll depend on if you got what it takes
advisor! what's the most important thing about being a couple?
love!
can't hear you, say it again!
loving!
come, say hello to your new mother
lil' six paying respect to mother!
you make your dangerous living, even take your son along with you?
his late father was my brother
I took him under my wings
and you are now my mother!
when we are done with this gig
come with us back to the mountains
you can still be my mother
"people go up, water run low!"
once used to being the Governor
living the life of bandits
probably won't be so easy
"once saw the ocean, other water will never impress"
word!
then what are we gonna do?
(big bro, I caught the runner!)
(bring him back from the front, show everybody!)
what we do? keep being governors!
you have to use your brain more
brains first then muscles, got that?
I got it!
we are now government officials
can't act like bandits anymore
advisor, what's the most important thing about being the governor?
endure!
(goose city)
you've tried escaping once
if you dare to play me again...
I get it! head will roll!
let's go
City girls are soo damn white
dad, look!
why did they draw you like that?
the less resemblence to me, the safer
Welcome the governor!
commision!
I hereby commisioned Ma BangDe to be the governor of goose city
commissioned by the Sa Nan Kang province government
by the date of the eighth year of the Republic of China, august 28th.
his master Huang has arrived!
protitious his master Huang!
this guy Huang SiLang is a mob figure in southern China
he's in the human trafficing, opium selling business.
his master Huang is too busy at the moment
thus having me, his chief housekeeper Hu Wan!
his militia martial coach Wu ZhiChong!
welcome the governor with respect!
"visitor with vile intent"
you ARE the visitor
your master, he's here!
who?
yourself
long live your master huang!
I am Yang WanLou, paying my respect
counterfeits are the good stuff!
counterfeits are the good stuff!
walk a few steps?
walk a few steps!
walk with menance
walk with swift
walk with surrealism
how is she not scared?
probably retarded?
why execute the bandits?
because they tried to rub the official vehicle, and the governor!
execute them, to make an example to those
who dare oppose to the government!
the governor has arrived, peace is here!
the governor has arrived, justise is here!
advisor, job well done!
remember I told you
sometimes the dead are more usefull than the living?
definitely, the deads are indeed more useful than the living
"full of dominating charisma"!
he's asking for trouble!
he just fucking got here and already started killing
this is not some whimp we can easily scare away
"act first to take control"?
no hurry
let's play with him a little bit!
no hurry, let's play with him a little bit!
shut up!
shut up!
shut up!
shut the fuck up!
remove his fucking teeth
plate them gold just like mine.
madam
brother I, this time
here for the money only
not for the carnal stuff
we sleep in the same bed
but no physical contact
with this gun here
If brother I
have any misbehavior toward madam
you can shoot me anytime
if madam ask for anything
brother I
will not dodge neither
sleep!
"one day being a couple, hundred days of loving"
afterall, I just want to be the Mrs.governor
who is Mr.governor, I don't give a damn!
come on, don't be so polite
am I?
of course you are
you call this polite?
you are too polite
how can I not be so polite then?
too late!
the previous governors
have already collected all the taxes for the next ninty years!
that's around fucking 2010 ad.
we've come to the wrong place!
actually I kinda like it here already
the people here are piss poor, there's nothing to scam
I never intended to scam the poor
if you don't scam THEM, where do you get the money?
from whoever has money
have you been a governor before?
nope
let me show you, let me show you!
as the governor, you have to come up with cleaver taxing tricks
befriend the rich, collect tax money and donations
only when the rich have donated, the peasents will then follow
once collected the money, return the rich's money all back
we split the peasents' money 30 - 70
how the hell only 70 percent?
whether we can keep the 30% or not all depends on Huang's mood
who's mood?
his!
him?!!!!
I came all the way here
just to watch his mood?
correct!
I went through all that trouble to rub a train
to become this governor
correct
I have to befriend the rich
correct
and I have to come up with cleaver taxing tricks
correct
then I have to fucking watch his mood
correct
how is that different from a beggar begging on my knees?
if you put it that way
bribing government positions is exactly just like begging
still, so many are waiting in line to be on their knees
let me ask you
why did I rebel and choose the bandits life?
it's exactly because my legs are too stiff to kneel!
oh so you want to make money standing up
then you better go back to rubbing
I don't get it now
I am already the governor
how am I less than a bandit?
to the peasants, you are the governor
but to Huang
you are the beggar begging on your knees
it's for the money, business, there's no shame
shameful!
very fucking shameful!
so do you want to stand up
or do you want to make money?
I want to stand on my feet, and make the money!
not possible!
not possible?
not possible!
can this make money?
sure, as bandits
can this make money?
sure, on your knees
this AND this
can I make the money while standing on my feet?
may I dare to ask who are you, brother No.9?
I am pock-faced Zhang!
this is not a tree, stop chopping!
this is a court drum, installed during Qiang Long's era
so many years of neglect it's grown vines all over it
to what it is now
my dad said it
there's a court drum, there must be injustice
he said he's going to judge a case
where is injustice?
who dares to claim injustice?
it's been hundred years
if you remove the vines and expose the drum
you don't even know how much trouble you are asking for!
stop it! where is your dad?
sleeping
with who? how is he still sleeping?
where's the drum?
I told you not to chop it, see, now the drum is gone!
drum!!!!!!
get away!
why is it following me
help! help!
help me!
I pitty my wine!
my good mood is all spoiled because of you!
I am going to mess you up, some other day!
drum is broken from all the beatings
meaning the two of you have so much injustice to claim
raise the court
who is the victim?
no victim!
if you have anything to say then speak forth
otherwise case dismissed!
it's not me, it's martial coach Wu who's the victim!
I'm too blind to have eyes
I spoiled coach Wu's wine while dodging the drum
ruined his appetite
I should appologize to coach Wu
sorry!
I've not the victim!
dare to say you are not the victim!
kneel!
he is Huang's militia martial coach
you can't ask him to kneel
I was appointed in the 31st year of Guang Xu
by the emporer himself
my official ranking is higher than yours
you should kneel in front of me!
kneel!
kneel or not?
the fuck with your emporer!
which emporer?
have I seen him?
If you were a civilian scholar
he should owe you 200 loud kowtows
too bad you are only a fucking martial scholar
he only owes you 100 kowtows
now his 200 kowtows are done
you repay him 100 to call it even!
but I only did 2!
it doesn't matter, he owes you 100
are you gonna do it?
beat him!
this is good for shit
gotta use this!
please! stop! I'll do it!
listen
you kowtow, you keep count
the righteous governor!
get up! kneeling is forbidden!
even the emporer's gone, nobody's worthy to kneel to!
I am not worthy to kneel to!
I've only come to goose city to get 3 things done
justice!
justice!
and more fucking justice!
the righteous governor!
get up! kneeling is forbidden!
now, that's right.
forbid to kneel?
it wasn't my ass he slapped
he's obviously slapping your master's face
your master, just wait until my ass is healed
I will settle this score for you myself!
bring me the noodle vendor
the governor enjoys judging cases
we are gonna give him some
dad, what you did today was awesome
you beat the crap out of him
makes me want to become a government someday
you won't be a governor
nor can you be a bandit neither
when your dad handed you to me before he passed away
I promised him to make somebody out of you one day
so what am I suppose to be?
be a student, read books, listen to this more
there's no sound
these crooked officials, all they care about is money
neglected such a fine record player
it's fixed now
once we are done with this gig
I'll send you studying overseas
north, and 3 years in the north!
silly, you were born in the north
who played this?
it sounds like...Mozart
they call him Mozart
here we call him MoZha
you can even tell who's playing?
it depends?
when?
when his name is printed on the label
dad, this Mozart guy
how did he play the music into this thing?
after you are done studying overseas, you will know everything
then where is this Mozart?
where can I find him while studying overseas?
he umm...is far far away from us
do you know what to do?
yes I do
do you also know who gave you the order?
yes I do
did I order you?
yes, your master ordered me
me!
you?
you, you did!
I did, I did!
I can't hear you!
I wanted to do it myself!
nobody ordered me, it's all me!
my savior! my savior!
you talking to me?
when did I become your savior?
you spared my life, you are my great savior!
to repay my mortal debt, I'll save your life for once
um? keep talking
that widow, you can't sleep with her!
disaster waiting to strike!
she...
really a widow?
doesn't look like it to me
I saw her husband drown with my own eyes
well, she's already a widow
I can not...
let her spend the rest of her life a widow!
this is the first move
within three moves
either tell them to fuck off
or keep them as dogs
your master, you asked for me?
those from the government, they never came?
not yet
the governor doesn't visit the brothel?
but it doesn't neccessarily make him a good governor
I don't mess around neither
that's why your master can't be the government
I can't be the governor?
how can a governor compares to your master?
governors come and go
but your master will always be your master
you are so sweet with those pretty lips!
they will come eventually, just remember
every piece of useful detail they say
must be reported back to me
yes
leave now, but don't you get too wild like the XiaoFengXian
your master, who is this XiaoFengXian?
how you call yourself a prostitue and you don't know who she is?
she is the most famous, most renowned, whore!
off you go now
the governor must be cuddling with his wife right now
most definitely
let him enjoys his last sound sleep
the governor's son broke the law!
the tea court welcomes everyone to hear it!
the tea court? isn't my court the lawful court?
your court is only a decorate
here the only lawful court is the tea court!
brother six
you ate two bowels of noodle
but only paid for one
bullshit! I ate only one bowel of noodle
paid him for one bowel of noodle!
how many bowels did he eat?
two bowels
impossible!
brother six is the governor's son
how can he owe you noodle money?
he did, he ate two bowels but paid for only one
the governor wants to give our goose city justice
excellent!
it is exactly justice that I demand today!
that's right!
where's justice? ask the governor's son! why?
he ate two bowels of noodle but paid for only one
this is called injustice!
since the governor's son cannot live up to the standard.
then the governor's words are nothing but BULLSHIT!
fuck you!
brother six...
brother six is the governor's son
how can he owe HIM noodle money?
you saw it with your own eyes?
you piece of trash biting the hands that feed you!
what?
your ass don't hurt anymore?
today we don't discuss ass
we discuss noodle only!
one is one, two is two
there's no in-betweens!
brother six, a man! much respect!
one is one, two is two!
I ate two bowels of noodle today!
you paid for one bowel of noodle and ate two bowels
you don't have any money?
I'll pay it for you!
see that? I can afford however many bowels I want!
but eat only one bowel, pay for only one bowel!
that much money, how many bowels did he eat?!
why didn't you come clean earlier
he demands justice
aren't you taking advantage of an honest man?!
tell me, are you an honest man?
I am...
then speak the truth, how many bowels of noodle did I eat?
you tell him!
are you gonna speak or what?
threatening a poor noodle vendor with gun
you think you have a gun? guess what, who doesn't have a gun?
speak out loud, he ate how many bowels?
ShowYi, everybody here
will support you and take care of you and your family
speak out loud, how many?
two bowels!
you are the worst kind of scum!
you think you are a badass? I can be worse!
watch carefully now
if there are two bowels of noodle in my stomach today
I die in vein!
if there's only one bowel of noodle in your stomach
I die!
if there are two bowels of noodle, I'll die along with brother six!
and the noodle?
the wound is too shallow, I can't see clearly
brother six! you are the man!
noodle is in your intestines, you have to slit it open sideways
in order to show me
brother six, show everybody is it one bowel or two bowels
slit!
brother six, bowel!
see it? see it now?
isn't there only one bowel?
brother six, hold on! I'll get your a doctor!
don't leave! isn't there only one bowel?!
isn't it?!
your turn now
I knew you ate only one bowel
you fell for it
don't kill him! can't kill him!
let go of me! I can't!
give me one good reason why not?
can't explain and I'll blow your brains out too!
if you kill him, brother six dies in vein!
I didn't kill him!
what happened?
he stabbed himself!
we had a bet
he lost
let me put a bullet to his head, big bro, let me put a bullet to his head!
you won't kill me! you can't kill me!
this is exactly what Huang wanted!
with defeat written all over your face!
you kill him you lose, don't kill him we can still win
let him go
"kill the man kill the heart, kill the man kill the heart"!
advisor is right
let him go
with a blade inside the stomach, and the noodle is still noodle?
yes
no
I just want to know, is the noodle still noodle!
it is
over here
so
the man is dead?
dead
then you sold me out?
I was trying to scare them with your master's name
were they scared?
they said "kill the man kill the heart"
kill the man is not enough? and to kill the heart?
how horrendous!
lil 6, No.4 here swear to revange your death!
lil 6, No.5 here swear to revange your death!
brother six, lil 7 here swear to revange your death!
No.2 is drunk, he wanted me to tell you
No.2 swear to revange your death!
lil 6, No.3 here swear to revange your death!
No.2 didn't drink, he's pissed off!
big bro doesn't want us to fight
how are we bandits if we don't fight?
big bro shouldn't listen to him
that Tang guy is up to no good
my brother six, what Huang is doing is "kill without knives"
I advised your dad to counter with "kill the man kill the heart"
can't risk it all, how can you make money when you are dead?
lil 6
do we give a damn about money?
I'm not about "kill the man kill the heart"
is only I haven't come up with a better idea
I'm going to cleanse Huang off of this earth
just give me a little time
lil 6, dad swear to revange your death!
mop yourselves up
brother six, good riddance!
(chinese hand sign for SIX)
which card to play first?
treat a guest, cut off the head, or raise a dog!
kill!
treat a guest!
this is "HongMenYan" a trap, a dangerous endeavor
"kill the man kill the heart" is already working!
I give you another advise
postpone! the longer we can stretch it, the more money to be made
by then it will be Huang himself kneeling outside here
what the fuck is this trap?
this is mobs inviting bandits
"Xiong Yu inviting Liu Bang"
where di Liu Bang end up?
he became the emporer
and Xiang Yu?
so, we accept?
accept! take Huang over to our side at the same time
the three of us together making money
(bring me my whips)
(dress up like Huang's men, follow me)
understood!
(kill that bastard to avange No.6)
understood!
Tang, you use the death of No.6 as your way to fortune?
I think I can use you to make more
what are you talking about?
let's go! to meet your new friend
attention!
your governor, and advisor! what an honor!
apologize for the lack of courtesy!
Master Huang's castle is such a master piece of work
what a formidable fortress!
the governor is couragous, the advisor is intellegent
what a perfect combo! please!
the death of brother six, heroic!
today I invite the governor here
so that I can settle the grudge!
if they were really following my orders
then I shall act accordingly
rip my guts in front of you!
not only that, I'll ask to have your governor's honor
to be my beheader
cut off my head, and raise it high atop of my castle!
but just in case if it wasn't me
then that's a diliberate libel against my reputation
and deceiving the governor
then you die
either the three of you die, or speak against me
I'm ready to die any moment
Master Huang, I heard they used the short blade for seppuku
the long blade belongs to the beheader
is that so?
you are indeed good at this!
your governor can be my beheader anytime!
governor Ma, please!
my governor's position, was bribed
I bribe for money
and I don't like making money off of the poor
then who's money do you like to make?
whoever has money!
then who has money?
you have money
straight to the point! whatever you like here
anything, take as you please
I'm not a bandit! I am a governor
a governor requires good reason in order to make money
you got that right!
in our goose city, there are two big families
they are all in the business of trafficing workers to America
to help building railroads
profiting dollar!
still talking about blades (blades in chinese: "Dao")
no, dollar, the American currency
dollar, arrived (similar sounding in chinese)
Master Huang once arrived, money is here!
shall we drink a round
please
Master Huang is too courteous
within the whole entire southern China, who doesn't know
in goose city
you Master Huang is the man!
The Man is only an empty title
everyday my eyes open, hundreds of mouths are waiting to be fed
waiting for me to provide
how much are really left for myself afterall?
if your governor really needs some quick cash
I know just the place to go to
oh? please continue!
pock-faced Zhang
for real?!
pock-faced Zhang?
that's right, pock-faced Zhang!
then does this pock-faced Zhang have anything to do with us
or has he anything to do with money?
both!
oh? is he here in goose city?
yes
but also no
Master Huang is puzzling us with riddles!
then where the hell is him?
allow master Huang explain to us?
explain to us
this guy controls all the major roads outside of goose city
understand?
I don't
do you understand what business I'm in?
I don't
just a tad short of half the Republic's opium trafficing
is controlled by Master Huang
wrong! I'm only running errands for president Liu
and I'm only one of his legs
then how many legs does president Liu have?
of course there
see
Master Huang is the big leg!
right! big leg!
but me, this leg
broke
how did it happen?
eight times out of ten, my goods are rubbed by pock-faced Zhang
go figure how much money he's made?
then this pock-faced Zhang must be rich as hell!
is it real?!
if you can squash the bandits
you can have as much money as you want
we don't have the balls to go after bandits
but we do have the balls to use it as an excuse to scam money
actually, quite big balls in that case!
then don't blame me if you ain't go the balls
but, I can still help you
I'll provide the money, as bait
how much I come up with, the two families must also come up with
that's exactly what we've been waiting for! enough!
so can you give 800 thousand?
no! I give you 1.8 million!
invest more, profit more!
understood! after the dust settles
we split the money from the two families!
we don't return the 1.8 million!
you want to crush bandits? crush 'em!
we are going to take back all the money rubbed by pock-faced Zhang
and return it to Master Huang
by then
this puny 1.8 million is nothing by comparison
would you still mind?
it's just a bandit Zhang! crack him down!
tough!
am I?
very tough!
tough or not, we can talk later!
all I'm thinking right now is one thing only
that is to fix the leg for master Huang!
how dare Zhang, an outlaw bandit!
taking dump on master huang's head, not gonna happen!
drink
I'm not finished yet
I'll drink myself
I think, we should drink wine one sip at a time
walk the road one step at a time!
you stride too big
you tear your balls
we should make sure money is split clearly first
then we can talk about fixing the leg business
you want to talk about dollar? not about fixing leg?
then the two of you should keep talking
advisor, it's up to you
let's talk dollar first
when we got the dollar, common practice, 30 - 70 split
what kind of cheapass gesture is that
Master Huang works his ass off to make it work
and you only give him 30% cut?
at least it's got to be 50-50!
my bad, I'm wrong
you are way wrong!
advisor
ya
we should listen to the governor, 50-50
that's great!
if you really got what it takes to fight the bandits
then the two families' dollar
worth nothing
nothing!
how is that nothing!
you have talked the talk
can you walk the walk?
how can I believe that you have what it takes to rid the bandit Zhang?
master huang, allow me to raise a humble question
please
bandit Zhang can rub your goods
why can't he get in your home?
this castle of mine, is tough as nails
no way he can penetrate!
then how can you really believe
only me and advisor got inside your castle?
he wants us to retreat
retreat? are we?
retreat!
(roger, but we are worried about you!)
you heard it
I heard it
whereas pock-faced Zhang can't penetrate, I can!
when Zhang doesn't want to die, I can make him die!
another one dead!
you guys can speak up against me now!
don't mistreat yourselves!
governor Ma
I knew it all along, you are somebody
I'm humbled
but, those brave enough to go after the bandits
hardly ever come back
oh? how so?
pock-faced Zhang isn't your typical bandit
what a coincident
then, how did it happen?
it was among the torch light, he turned suddenly
and I, was hiding in the shadow of light
one in the light
one in the dark
then right there right then
just like right here right now
such a similarity?
similar! very similar!
but you lack something from him
you are not talking about the pocks, are you?
of course not
then what is it?
you don't know how to act a fool
precise! bro!
by the time I was still in my mother's womb
the fortune teller pointed at her belly and said
this kid's biggest shortcoming in the future
is that he doesn't know how to pretend to be stupid
bro, can I still change?
you can't change what is natural!
take a look at this advisor, the master at acting a fool
he mistaken dollar with blades
what is dollar?
American currency, US dollar!
you see there! a natural born talent at acting a fool!
advisor, I salute you!
thank you master huang for your high praise!
please allow me to really act a fool for this one time
after crushing the bandits, all the recouped opium
we want only 20%!
no way! 50-50!
to show my sincerity, and to wish you a successful campaign
we haven't done anything worthy, it's too early to take payment
Dai Yu, Qing Wen!
no, bro, I can't take women neither
you don't want women, you don't want money either
what the hell do you want?!
leg!
what leg?
the heroic righteous leg!
your leg, is my leg
your leg, is my life
the saying goes, there was no road
with legs you can walk out a road!
I got you, I got you
I get it too
useless trash!
"flowers will blossom another day"
"but men don't get to be young again"
such a lovely young girl
what's so mad about!
I wish we had only met earlier!
girl and the diamonds, all yours!
nah, I'm here with my wife
it's not appropriate for me to take another girl
then please give the diamonds to Mrs.governor
excellent! let me hold on to them for her
get up now
didn't you call Dai Yu and Qing Wen?
why only one girl came?
don't tell me her name is Dai Yu Qing Wen?
I told you don't know how to play stupid
I gave her a japanese name
Dai Yu Qing Wen Zi!
all dead now!
advisor, brilliant!
governor, tough!
Master Huang, brilliant and tough!
are you the bandit Zhang or not?
let's say if you are...
you cutoff president Liu's trade routes
made so much money
why bother being a governor?
say if you aren't...
savior?
tonight, we "kill the chicken retrive the egg"!
the governor must die in his own bed
don't let anyone suspect that because he came to my dinner
he died in my house or died somewhere along the way
understood!
which is the chicken?
the governor
and the eggs
you want us to cutoff his balls?
diamonds!
my two precious diamonds!
don't worry, your master, your diamonds
I'm going to get them back right away!
do you understand why I send you on this mission?
because I'm dead
why were you dead?
because I sold your master out
correct! if you are alive, you'll die sooner or later
if you are dead
you live forever
understood
"kill the chicken retrieve the egg!"
advisor, where's big bro!
he's on the back of the horse, drunk
where is him? where?
we were just talking a moment ago
I'm drunk too
he's not on the horse?
maybe he was dropped somewhere?
I heard you've been sleeping?
raise your head when speaking to me
I heard you've been sleeping yesterday?
on which fucking day do I not sleep
look at me when talking to me
I heard you've been sleeping around with the bandit?
I did! and don't you want to know how we did it?
right, how?
a girl from the brothels with a man of bandits
any position is possible
what are you shiishing at
you shameless cunt bitch whore
what did you say!
cunt,bitch,whore,cunt!
if only I had more time
I'd give it to you good!
come on! show me!
show me whatchu got
all you got left is that yapping mouth!
you useless old horndog!
if it weren't for my money
who's gonna bribe a governor's job for you?
don't you push me too hard
I actually thought that bandit is pretty capable
what is he capable of?
more capable than you
he's so pissed drunk he's like a puddle of mud
now this is what I'm talking about
lil 6, Huang lost three dogs today
I know, dog life won't equal your life
I was going to take the brothers
to fight Huang til the last man
to revange your
but I changed my mind midcourse
fight til the last man standing won't get the job done
we can't lose any more of our brothers
big bro, why are you in here?
why did you call it off?
once Huang heard your whistles
my absolute safety was ensured
so...
leave me, I want to be with lil 6 alone for a while
I finally figured it out today
why I chose the life of bandits in the first place
exactly because I couldn't afford to fuck around with those bastards
this time, for you, I have to be able to play
and I have to win!
who?
stole my diamonds, huh?
are they yours to take?
they are for mrs.governor
now which one of us is the governor?
huh?
who's the governor?
I'm asking you, who's the governor?
are you going to kill me?
or are you going to sleep me?
is there any difference?
totally different!
then we sleep first, kill later!
I'd rather you kill me right now!
how am I gonna sleep when you are dead
I can't take advantage of a widow drunk as I am
I'm sleeping with you
not sleeping you
can't believe I got fooled by you!
both you and martial coach Wu faked your deaths, right?
that's right!
why pretend to be bandits?
we are bandits, pock-faced Zhang is my big brother
oh? then what number are you?
No.3
hey No.3, you got famous
someone's pretending to be you!
stop wasting time with him, big bro
lil 6 is dead because of him
let me shoot him once and for all
did your brother pock-faced Zhang send you?
or was it your master huang who send you?
don't get the answer wrong!
master huang
why?
he wanted us to loot the city dressed up as bandits
in order to force you to wage wars against them
con the rich, scam the poor
and then?
that's it
that's it
I really don't know anything else!
why were you targeting guns at my bed?
master huang said you had such a dominating chrisma about you
huh?
you are dangerous!
bring him a message for me, tell him
how he likes to fake deaths
is just perfect that I like people to die a few more times
you are going to let me go, again?
he will only understand your words
but who are you really?
that's right, pock-faced Zhang
but you got no pock on your face
das Huang have four written on his face?
ahh, I get it
brother
my true identity as pock-faced Zhang
you must keep it a secret forever
forever!
I told you I won't be good at the governor's job!
but you insisted bribing the job for me!
now the job's taken away!
even you are gone!
what is it?
Huang and his men are here
say they are gonna help us fight bandits
She is my wife!
I am the governor!
let him in
I am Ma BangDe!
how is the governor? how is the governor?
catch the bandits, don't let even a single one escape!
god damned the bandits!
what have they done!
the governor has just arrived here, now along with his wife...
I told you I won't be good at the governor's job!
but you insisted bribing the job for me!
now we have the job
but you are gone!
she is my wife!
I am the governor!
I am Ma BangDe!
you, too inexperienced
you shouldn't execute those bandits so soon
they are bound to revange
don't cry, don't cry
she died for goose city
she deserves a proper funeral
all the local families must attend
they will all be here, I'll make arrangement
according to our father and his grace and kindness
please allow our sister, and our brother
to relieve them of their mortal burdens
we place them in earth with gratefulness
they were originally dusts
now they are back to dusts
we know, all life forms
are in the hands of our loving holy father
to whom he promises eternity
we are pock-faced Zhang's men!
we are ruthless!
don't move! don't move!
sorry to scare everyone
we are here today only to find a few people
Huang! and the two families! step forward!
father, sorry about that
all my dear locals
what will happen next has nothing to do with you
fairwell
bag him in!
get up!
hero! I am the governor here
take me for hostage
can you shut up already!
save your life to collect ransom for us
within three days, with money collected, we let the hostages go!
no ransom, they dead!
shoot me!
no, don't dont!
shoot me!
you asked for a whoopass?
easy!
want to be a hero?
this is what you get
what the hell are you doing with my No.9 mask?
don't mess it up for me!
put it on
take them
we will pay
is him! No.3!
box in
no ransom no release!
please contain yourself!
how?
Huang is in there
when you cried like me with my wife in your arms
you've planned this already!
you got brutes and smarts!
remember, I am No.9!
that's helluva job!
does it look real?
yup
it'd look even more real if there's blood!
right!
is this entirely neccessary?!
is it neccessary? is it neccessary?
shoot! shoot them!
don't! stop shooting!
hurry up to prepare the ranson money!
if they don't get the money in 3 days they will kill the hostages!
kill! let them kill!
must let them kill!
that's exactly what my body double was hired for
I will not pay a single dime of the ranson money!
but the two families' money
will probably go through your hands
don't worry about me, brother!
must not worry about me!
your master, I suspect Hu Wan turned to bandit Zhang's camp
must find Hu Wan!
dead or alive, I want to see his body
a body double is so marvelously useful!
you gotta find me one of those
pock-faced Zhang, have you no shame
you messed it up!
is it?
it's over
why do I feel like it's just begun?
release them
keep it as a souvenier
don't ever turn your backs, now fuck off!
madam, if you had left just a few more days later
you'd have seen this yourself
if she didn't die, this money will never make it to this table
that's right, we have this money at the cost of her life
are you saying our lil 6's life doesn't count?
it's not the same
how the fuck is it not the same?
wife!
who's wife?
my wife!
what about your wife?
my wife was killed by Huang
your brother six committed suicide!
here's one fucking bullet for you!
how dare you, you want a taste of this!
No.2, put the gun down
don't point your gun at me
I've seen bandits, I've never seen bandit who pumps irons!
what the f...
what are you all laughing at, don't laugh, don't laugh
what I meant was, the way your brother six
the way he did, like this, that was heroic
yup, a hero
my wife, she went asleep and never woke up
my wife, she went asleep and never woke up
don't cry advisor, she was a hero too
all my brothers, why were we here in the first place?
for the money!
do we have the money now?
sure
then let's leave!
let's leave!
then why do you keep crying?
I can choose not to
big bro, when are we leaving?
we are not leaving
it's not Huang's money
come on, big bro, the two families' money ain't money?
what I want is Huang's money!
you don't scrape money from the poor
you don't want money from the rich neither
lil 6, madam, two lives
must be paid in full by Huang
you want to risk it all, this is gambling!
this gamble?
yes, it is! and you can't win!
we are not leaving
we don't need the money neither!
give them away
wait...big bro
just say who do you want us to give this money to
give 'em to the poor!
but, who are the poor?
who's poor, who's the poor
(oh my god)
you had the No.9 mask on when you rubbed me
what number is mine?
feel it yourself
No.1
having fun?
a blast!
I see, you just want to play god, right?
exactly
what does this have anything to do with fighting Huang?
If you can play god, how can you not be able to take down a Huang?
wait a minute, I know this place
I know it too
then let's give them some money
wait! what?
big bro ordered, only to the poor! she's not poor
well, you tell me, who's the poor?
the poor? must be those forced to sell their children!
that's her! she was sold to brothel by her parents!
you are right!
so it turns out the governor's men are the bandits!
we just wanted to give you some money!
kill! absolutely!
anyone who knows the truth of the bandits, must die!
that was your direct order
advisor
the first one ever knew the truth about the bandits
was you!
come on, let's not fight ourselves when there's unfinished business
especially for a woman
the day I came to the city, you were leading the drum squad
girl, what's your name?
my humble name is Hua Jie.
your last name isn't Huang?
no, Huang baught me
those posters at the city entrance
you know what those are?
wanted for pock-faced Zhang
I am pock-faced Zhang
from the bandits, hard evidence!
whoever wear masks are the bandits?
we have masks too
then it's the governor!
giving money away to the poor
does it look like something a crooked governor would do?
today, I want you all to dress up as bandits
just like them
how they gave it away, is how you rub it back!
mess them up!
understood!
within three moves and check-made
your master, we are already done with three moves
you sure?
lil 6's death, "kill the chicken retrieve the egg"
those were the old moves
we are moving onto three new moves now
first, go to the capital to check out the Governor's background
I just don't feel like he's the bribing crook kind of governor
at least, it is not his real name!
how about Hu Wan?
Hu Wan? haven't found him yet
how can you possibly tell me you still haven't found him!
don't worry your master, I will find him, continue to find
do you have any idea
how much I miss him?
Master Huang ordered us to mess up their plan
now watch and learn!
you got the money?
yes, we got it
then how are you going to thank us?
however you want, anything
however we want? you said it! good!
get over there and watch
you know why we gave you the money?
because you are kind to us
kind to you?
not nearly kind enough!
the righteous government help us!
this is fucked up! fucked up!
even rabbits know better not to eat the grass around the hole
six of you, even in front of her husband
let him watch
disgusting!
even I turned the lights off!
you can take care of this sort of business with money!
spend some money!
get a prostitute!
it doesn't cost all that much!
even sneaking around
this is pure bandits behavior
even worse than bandits!
and you wanted the people to praise your kindness?
I have nothing to say but disgusted!
forget about making money!
disgusting! disgusting!
disgusting! disgusting!
so disgusting!
big bro you know me
I'm never the kind who bullies the weak
I enjoy being passive
big bro you know me
the way I do things
I never ask for anything from anybody
big bro you know me
if it were me
no witness will live to tell about it
big bro you know me
even though I'm the oldest
I...until this day, I...am
commonly refered to as the virgin
don't look at me?
big bro, you know me
if I did it
then the one laying on the table
should've been her husband
I get it, you are all masters of various trades
but
somebody's been lying to me
who? who?
Tang
this is too obvious, as an advisor he couldn't tell?
obviously that motherfucker Huang had men prended to be us
he's acting weird today
something's up
Tang, get out! get up! stand up!
who have you been having dinner with lately?
you met with Huang?
don't move! legs up!
who is that?
kid! kid!
kid?
mine!
you are a kid?
how old?
eight!
get out
this is a fucking eight year-old kid?
nobody believes! even I don't believe it!
by three he was as tall as his mom
by five he was my height, now he's eight!
your ma! your ma!
ma! ma!
your mama!
who dare to hit my boy!
your ma!
your ma!
this is your real mom?
my ma
this is your real dad?
my family none of your damn business! your ma!
sister! what the hell is this?
I'm here for money, I won't leave if he don't pay up
no pay no leave
this old lying bastard
he ran a coal mine in ShanXi 8 years ago
not only did he con money
he conned me of my body
he's dishonest
he owed a shitload of debt
and just took off like that
all the debters came knocking on my door
they kidnapped my six-year-old
If I don't pay them they are gonna kill my baby!
that one isn't mine!
yes he is
no he's not
yes he is!
is yours, I counted the days!
he scammed people money
debters want you to pay back
kidnapped your younger boy as hostage
kidnapped
if you don't pay they kill him
that's right, that's why I need money!
give her!
money, the rock!
over here
sister, we've met only for the first time
nothing better to give you
I don't want rock, without money I won't leave!
you stupid...
this worths far more than money! this is gem!
ah! really!
bicycle
you can ride that?
ah, we've ridden those in ShangHai
you two've been to ShangHai?
PuDong
I don't believe it, it can't be balanced!
come, give it a try
get on top
hold on to your seat!
but bicycle made of flesh!
have I come to the wrong place?
or is it a bad time?
treat customers
they both are
hey, we got here first
have you paid?
can you take bicycle as payment?
see them out!
last time I gave your master lots of money
what money?
money thrown in from the window?
didn't the bandits do that?
are you saying these two are bandits?
they are not bandits, they are the governor's men
you dare to use the bandits' money as their payment?
shut up! let her go first, hurry up!
"hero rescues beauty"!
"hero rescues beauty"!
even if they were heroes, I'm no beauty
even if I were beauty, they are not heroes
your master, they are still customers
here's tonight's money, I'm paying for them
did't you always tell us
customers are always our god
don't you agree?
right!
in this case, it's not "hero rescues beauty"
is "beauty rescues hero"
you've almost become Xiao FengXian.
you've offended him now
you don't have to offend Huang
whoever he wanted dead
must die!
why didn't I just kill him right there?
If I'd shot him it'd be all over
don't be silly!
big bro had word, we save him for his money!
since it's money you are after
then
why are you all over the place giving money away
is this color okay?
put the umbrella away
the red is enough...um...come over here
green first, then apply red
ooowwww, I get it
you get it?
got it got it
keep that lucked up
take shovels with you
understood
six shovels!
got it
big bro, look at me
hair is good, face is red enough, come over here
a dead man's face is green
add some other colors
and then become this kind of red
got it
you got it now?
yap
green
over here
green is the foundation
add some of that and it should be right!
ooohh, I see
got it?
shovels like these?
cut them short, bag them up
how short?
to fit inside bags
ohh, fit the bags
hurry up, six of them
where are you going like this?
what's with the makeup?
you are not running away, are you?
are you coming with us? we are going to give more money away
that's a waste, I'm not going!
sure you are not going?
no!
then let me tell you
this time around, I might be able to come back
I might not be able to come back
if I return
you run with me
if I don't return
you run by yourself
where, where are you going? not to give money away?
we are
also
around midnight
maybe someone will visit you
whatever he wants to talk about
just keep him talking
however he wants to talk , is how you talk
but
be slow, be confident
the slower the better
you saw it yourself?
yes I saw it myself!
you saw it yourself that the governor led his men himself?
I saw it myself!
you saw it yourself that the governor led his men to distribute money himself?
I saw it myself!
what's the number of his face mask?
No.9!
excellent! tonight we don't rub, we kill!
kill who?
the governor with mask No.9!
we don't need masks to kill the governor!
your master just wait here to examine the body
get back here! put on the masks!
bandits scuffle
the governor dies in vein
doesn't it sound so nice!
watch carefully, what number is their leader?
No.9!
everybody switches to No.4!
No.4 are our own, everybody else must be dead
you saw the number of their leader?
No.4
do you know what number mask should we wear?
understood
kill No.9 first! go!
master Huang, why are you here?
am I not welcome here?
light it up
you tried to set me up with this empty city trick, so here I am
sit
where's the governor?
everyone is No.4, can't spot a target!
don't know who to shoot
standing outside in a thundering rain, doesn't feel right
totally wrong!
shall we rearrange another time
let's retreat
how?
back to where you from
alright, back to where we from
listen, gun fires then somebody dies
somebody dies then somebody cries
somebody cries, then must speak the truth
now talk
you have three things to say at least
I shouldn't give your diamonds to others
not this one
I came up with "kill the man kill the heart"
not this one neither
we should've invited you to our HongMenYen dinner
HongMenYan dinner?
your master
I can't hear you!
I can't hear you!
bandits scuffled among themselves in the city
six dead! our men are all safe!
advisor, come come, please
maybe it's your savior
you are my savior
since I am your savior
then listen to your savior, go take a look
take a look
light it up
what the hell!
what the hell! what the hell!
Hu Wan!
Hu Wan
how could it be Hu Wan?
this is weird
they are all our men!
bandits?
where are the bandits?
Hu Wan is the bandit!
The bandit is Hu Wan!
who killed the governor's wife, kidnapped the locals
disturbed the lives in goose city
is your master huang's Hu Wan!
I wonder why you never came up with the bandit fighting fund
turns out "the theif is yelling loudest catching thief"!
you point your gun at me
you point your gun at me
you want to have a showdown with me?
did you all see!
this is the result of joining the bandits!
even if it were my own father he must die!
death is what you deserve!
bandit Hu Wan has been executed by master huang for five more times
"righteous kill one's own"?
or "kill to silence"?
if it's "kill to silence", then you are the leader pocked-faced Zhang!
if it's righteous kill, that'll be easy!
You pay money, I kill bandits!
that's great!
in 3 days, I shall give the governor a surprise
advisor Tang, he's Hu Wan's savior
now he's also your savior
could you translate it for me
what is a surprise?
translate, what is a surprise?
does it require translation? he just said it
I want you to translate for me, what is a surprise
no need for translation, it's a surprise
don't you understand what a surprise is?
I just want you to translate, what is a surprise!
a surprise!
translate for me
what the fuck is a surprise!
what the fuck is a fucking surprise!
what the fuck is a surprise?
the surprise is, in 3 days
I will provide you with 1.8 million to fight off the bandits
patch up my leg!
is that clear?
that's what a surprise means
now translate
translate!
a surprise is, in 3 days
give you 1.8 million to fight the bandits
fix his leg
oh that's the fucking surprise you're talking about
I'd love to wait 3 days for you
good
master huang
advisor Tang is my beloved one
you shouldn't be stealing my love
I know, I know
lil 6
our plan is 90% accomplished
call it 70% instead
now I'm sending No.2 outside of the city
to wait for us at GreenRock valley
I will deliver what I promised
you understand?
understood
with this 1.8 million
I think lil 6's death has been perfectly revanged
it's just what I think...
not only lil 6, my wife's score can be written off as well
you can't be serious about fighting Huang til the last man standing, my savior
I'm not your savior, Huang is your savior
you are, he's not!
you really believed I was dead, didn't you?
no! abosolutely not!
you didn't?
never crossed my mind!
I am in complete awe of you
"turning a fox into a prince"
out of nowhere, Hu Wan was there
but there's one thing I don't understand
ask
six bodies
such a long distance within such a short time frame
and the makeup
how did you make it happen?
Huang and I arrived at the scene by running all the way
you were carrying six bodies
there's not enough time!
why did I bury the bodies in front of my court?
that's exactly where I burried the bodies!
where the bodies is burried, is where things happen!
where things happen! is where Huang must follow to!
so you really are pock-faced Zhang?
sit!
My last name is Zhang
I know
given name is MuZhi
nice name!
the name implies governorship
your father must expected highly of you
I came out of martial court
I've followed general SongBu
I was his pistol squad leader
how old were you then?
bright future ahead of you at a young age
and then General was injured during the LuZhou battles
a little bit later, General died in Japan
I came back
right in the middle of
warlords fighting each other, tearing up the country
I had no other choice but the life of bandits
so my name MuZhi got turned into MaZi, the pock-face
what a shame! such a beautiful name
people don't want to believe
a bandit with an intelligent name
they'd rather believe it's pock-face
people especially want to believe
on his face
there should be fucking pocks
people are fucked up
my story began like this
that year I was 17
she was 17 as well
save it! I don't want to hear your story
I don't usually tell others these hearty stories
it's right on the tip of my tongue, you want me to swallow them back?
swallow them back
because you speak only lies
you are a liar
I don't know about the north
here in south, such a collector's edition landmine
there are only two
Made in USA 1910
Bang! a blast!
then it is gone
that's why
without taking a few lives along
it would be a utter despicable waste!
so
the other mine?
blasted!
blasted?
the very first blast of the XinHai Revolution
oh, I see
It blew up at XinHai
XinHai is not a place, it's a revolution, the revolution of 1911!
if you'd said it earler I'd have understood.
let's talk about this one then
who allowed you to ask about that one?
that's why, this one must blast through the sky
and through the earth, even make the gods and demons shiver!
got it
pick a good spot
pick a good time
then
who to blast?
you should've asked
where to blast
where to blast?
on the way to fight bandits
so soon fighting bandits again?
now this time can I get a bigger cut?
if you are the real pock-faced Zhang, the money is all yours
understood, I'm the fake pock-face
whatever your master give me is a gratitious gift!
then, when to blast?
when to blast is the third step
allow me to finish the second step
nobody moves!
let her speak!
No.2 left without saying a word
now No.3 is leaving
you are tearing us apart!
heroine, are you here for No.2 or No.3?
shut it!
what you are doing with your left hand, I understand
with your right hand, I also understand
but with your both hands like that, I don't understand
either I get what I want, or I die!
AB type
shut it!
everyone sit down
I want to talk to her
you were baught by Huang?
correct
did he ever hit you?
he did
did I ever hit you?
no
do you hate him? yes
do you hate me? no
then you don't point a gun at him
you point a gun at me?!
because you are a good man
what?
what kind of fucking logic is that?
so a good man deserves to be pointed by gun?
Hua Jie, big bro is right!
get back! sit down!
you sons of bitches!
I asked you to give the money away to the poor
you gave it to a woman
see, what did I say? nobody listened!
shut up! you old lying bastard!
never stop trying to deceit me!
playing your cards with both sides of the table!
a bandit meets a mob
it couldn't get any simpler!
ya'll made it into this pile of mess!
and you dare to point a gun at me!
can't hold a gun, can be a bandit
I can point a gun at you
I got balls, right?
which one of you fucking geniuses gave her this idea?
who?!
I told her as a joke
you want to join the bandits?
of course! I want to join you guys to give away money
throw the money pouch into windows and hear them laugh
well you are one now
I'm not prepared yet
no need to prepare
did you all prepare?
nah
did you prepare?
of course not, I was eating hotpot and singing
suddenly I dropped into water
and here I am
we are going to leave goose city
you stay here
no!
you are now one of us, you have to follow orders
big bro is right
what he said earlier was right too
I have an important assignment for you
I think you are the perfect fit
this is the surprise!
definitely a surprise
I knew it wasn't his real name!
with this surprise
my second step of the plan can be completed with even more ease
ease?
stealing official position, back in the empire days
that's a automatic death sentence for the entire family
your master, just wait here
I'm going to finish him up with a bullet to his brains!
before they die
I have to have some fun with these two monkeys!
my master
these two monkeys aren't worthy!
got to play them! I have to play them!
without them, how am I supposed to scam the two families' money?
without playing them, how could they go off to fight bandits willingly?
without fighting the bandits, how could they step on my mine?
Huang has a body double
looks exactly like him
I can't figure out which is Huang
which is his body double
take a look for me
fake!
he's not Huang
I've already told you I'm not him
I'm really not him
most definitely not
please let me go, let me go
alright, you are going to watch over him for us
when we return, use those guns in your hands
I don't know how to use guns
No.3, you teach her
is that you in the picture?
it is me!
are you sure?
yes
I was thinner back then
this is not you
you say that's not me?
no
I say it's not me neither!
it's definitely not fucking me!
then what is this?
I want to demand an explaination too
I bribed a governor's job
I've got to have some documentations, right
I went to the shop to get my photo taken
when I picked them up
that's the one they gave me
I told them that's not me, they said that is you
I said that's not me, they said that is you
what do I gotta do, that's the one I used
oh, so that's how it is
oh come on now
obviously that's me!
I am Ma BangDe!
oh, so that's how it is
it is! I ran in with bandits right before entering the city
if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't possibly make it
I thought about it, might as well let him be the governor
afterall he is my own nephew
uncle, how could you tell him that?
zip it!
master huang must've been laughing, I've been around places
I've held governor positions at 9 different counties
by twisting up truths with lies, reals with fakes
so, governor Ma
ya, go ahead
he's talking to me!
master huang please continue
I've only got you two figured out recently
and you are confessing just like that without a fight
a coincidence?
come on, the saying goes: smiling faces crush grudges
give it a laugh, and it's all behind us now
you want a truce with me?
fine! where's my body double?
return him to me, all of our previous scores are settled
we killed him
which son of a bitch told you to?
you son of a bitch told me to!
shoot! you pull the trigger early I can still kill you first!
put it away!
shoot! you shoot first, I can still kill you faster
put your guns down! On my count of three
master huang, you put it down first!
he doesn't know how to behave, don't you know neither?
you are the most misbehaving!
when are you leaving to fight the bandits?
not gonna happen
can't leave the city without getting paid first
can't fight the bandits without leaving the city
master huang, you are not holding onto your words
you said it fine at the dinner table
you provide the inital fund
the two families will follow
but not only did you not provide the money
you had your men dressed like bandits to mess with us
that ain't right!
wrong! the bandits you saw, were my men
the bandits I saw, were your men
but the bandits they saw
they believed those were the real bandits
this is the perfect time to ask them to choke up now!
once I came forth, they must follow
and your money?
already prepared for you
I have my money all over goose city
all right here?
this is only half of it
how much we want to make, how much they must bleed!
uncle, it's a trap!
trap?
we've been through this so many times, so many deaths
he never spit a dime
now out of a sudden he shows up today with all that money?
you think it's surprising?
too surprising!
I think it's surprising too
do you want to know?
come here
I want to be...
the governor
you?
what, you think I can't?
I don't look like a governor?
sure! you're going to take our position the moment we leave the city?
goose city?
I baught six counties governorships
I can't be all at once by myself
so
get out
leave now
Ma, you will help me to rule three counties
that is great, that's what I'm good at
wait, hold on!
then, then what about me?
well, you
you can be a fake pock-faced Zhang!
that's brilliant!
Since the last emporer dethroned
goose city has seen 51 governors
they were are worthless scumbags, pesting parasites, animals
but this Ma BangDe governor
he is not a worthless scambag, not an animal
not a pesting parasite
he will lead the troops himself today, to crush the bandits
he is our great hero!
advisor, please
(reciting the chinese poetry)
bandits, must to be crushed any time
can't leave them be
think about it, you are with your wife
getting out the city, eating hotpot and singing a song
out of a suddenly you got rubbed!
so, only the days without bandits
are the good days!
governor, please
march!
savior
I want you to look at this precious
isn't it your commision paper?
read it, read it
I hereby commision Ma BangDe, what about it?
keep reading!
year eight of the Republic of china, august
read the letters you skipped, in the middle!
I hereby commision Ma BangDe to be the governor of Kang City
wait, hold on
this is killing me
Kang City?
wasn't it goose city?
it was Kang City all along!
you son of a...
you have yourself to blame
you soaked me wet in the water, put that mask on my face
ticking me up with that clock, scared me shitless!
so I came up with the idea, led you to goose sity
how is this goose city different from Kang city then?
kang city is rich, goose city is dangerous
why did you lead me to goose city?
because you are the man, you rubbed a train!
let me tell you
there'd be only two scenarios once you stepped inside goose city
either, you are killed by Huang
then I'll go to my kang city, act the governor
second, you manage to take care of Huang
just like this
excellent! you really had me Ma BangDe
you old lying bastard
sooner or later one day you will get yours
by the pock-faced Zhang
you gonna kill me?
what'd you do without me
you really believed I am the pock-faced Zhang?
if you aren't, then the real one is in these mountains
once he showed up, you and I will die
ambush!
pock-faced Zhang!
tell our men, spread out
don't shoot
run toward the mountain top
(big bro orders: spread out, don't shoot)
(run toward the mountain top, catch their leader)
ten on the west side
six on the south side
there's a whole bunch of them on the east side!
tell No.7 to find No.3
take care of the west side first
fine! now go!
(No.7 to find No.3, clear the west side)
(No.7: I'm here)
(there are 11, not 10)
(no problem, 4 for you, 7 for me)
(clear!)
message from No.3, west side is clear
this chirping of yours is like radio, pretty awesome
tell them
let No.3 to find No.4, get rid of the south side
No.7 come back to protect advisor!
(No.3 to find No.4, clear the south side)
(No.7 come back to protect advisor)
(I am surrounded)
(wait for my signale with the hat)
(you get the east half, I get the west half)
big bro, No.3 and No.4 succeeded
big bro I'm here! big bro I'm here!
advisor is yours now, hurry!
understood
advisor, hurry!
No.3
it looks like No.2
the pock-faced Zhang is here
leave behind your money and your silver
it's No.2
is he dead?
I'm gonna FUCK YOU UP!
tell my brothes, head to the east
catch one alive, find out where their leader is
I'm gonna fucking kill him myself!
(head to the east, catch one alive!)
head to the east
where's your leader?
to the north, the one with pocks all over his face
north, on top of the mountain
I'm not dead, am I?
no! not dead!
what do you want to say? I'll blow the whistle for you!
whistle whistle!
how do you blow this?
hurry!
why don't you take me away
can't, can't run anymore!
I'll take you then
I can't run anymore!
didn't only your mouth get hurt?
you run with your feet not with your mouth!
(big bro is dead! big bro is dead!)
big bro is dead?...
you blew big bro is dead!
No.5, you go check it out!
big bro!
they said you are dead!
fucking bullshit!
am I not alive?
(big bro is not dead!)
where's the "fucking bullshit" part?
(fucking bullshit! fucking bullshit! fucking bullshit!)
heard that?
that's saying "fucking bullshit!" to us!
hold on
they caught the fake pock-face
you are pock-faced Zhang?
how come you ain't got no pock on your face?
whoever asks that question dies
I got it! no question asked!
I got something real special here
it's yours!
that's gotta worth my life, right?
where are those two?
can you spare me if I tell the truth?
hurry up!
I chopped the big one, shorter than the short one!
and the short one?
scared to death right on the spot!
advisor! advisor!
who asked you to pretend to me?
master huang!
where you got the pocks from?
he burnt it
how many governors have you rubbed?
can you spare me if I tell you?
hurry up!
five times! all five governors were killed by me
master huang and I split the money
what is that?
people's umbrella! left by those governors I killed
all yours!
I have four more
I know
If I told you that'd worth my life, right?
just fucking say it!
to the east! to the east!
oh no! nooo! don't! not to the east!
ShanXi is definitely to the east
east
are you the pock-faced Zhang afterall?
I am
I'm about to die now
don't lie to me
don't worry
I am pock-faced Zhang
pock-face
ass
my ass hurts
advisor
your ass is in the tree
it won't hurt now
in my ass pocket in that tree
there are five commision papers
they are all yours
listen to me, don't go back to goose city
you are no match against Huang
take the money and leave
don't worry, I'm not going back to goose city
actually, there's 2 more things I lied to you
it's okay, I don't mind
no
before I die, I must tell you
go ahead, what's first?
I...can I start with the second thing?
fine
that guy, you remember?
I don't know
are you Tang
or are you Ma BangDe
but you are gone now
pock-faced Zhang is gone as well
real ones are gone
fake ones are gone
brother
I'm going to keep your governor's position
my brothers
back to goose city
this pock-faced Zhang
he killed the fake poke-face
got the money, instead he's not running away
does him really want to have a final showdown with me?
then we can ask for the government troops!
I already sent Hu Bai over ask for help
in 3 days, Leutenant Guo and his cavalry will arrive!
the governor wants Huang dead!
who doesn't want Huang dead!
trafficing human selling opium!
he killed five honest governors!
all the silver yours to take!
more treasure hidden in Huang's castle!
the governor swears within three days!
kill Huang revange for Tang's death!
giving all that money away to the poor
this is a crime!
your master, he won't make it!
see, there's nothing living on the streets other than goose
I will go find HuaJie
you go find me both HuaJie and Huang's body double
must be back within three days!
what is this pock-faced Zhang planning?
it doesn't matter, it's all bullshit!
all we gotta do, kill!
but he's said it
he will have my head in three days
lots of people have said lots of things!
big bro, three days
only the four of us against Huang?
correct!
and spead the word out already
if you don't spread out the word, you won't make it happen
what are our odds of winning?
isn't 30% too risky?
I'm going to take a nap, you guys watch out over here
south
north
I win!
big bro, the money is all gone!
I see that
we should have 40% chance now
it can't be
they have taken our money
still 30% for us?
if they took the money this way
then the money is pretty much wasted
send the chariot!
I want to show you, what is called "borrow arrows with hystack boats"
your master, it was horses we released, not boats
retard!
it's called a metaphor! metaphor! metaphor!
I know the "Chi Bi" reference
Huang collected all the money back
now we don't even stand 10% chance to win
(chinese hand sign for six)
Huang didn't even have to show his face
and people handed over all of the money
where that 60% come from?
you got that right!
why?
because they fear!
what's underneath the fear?
anger!
I'm going to ignite all that anger within them
hold on to the firearms!
the money is waiting for you in the castle!
hold on to the firearms!
the money is waiting for you in the castle!
keep losing yet keep fighting!
I like that!
but those are guns! shall we, send the chariot?
they took money because of greed!
if they take guns, that's revolt!
they don't have the balls for it!
money is gone, now nobody pickup the guns
what are we gonna do?
what are the odds now?
(chinese hand sign for seven)
Huang collected all the money
nobody wants our weapon!
where's that 70% from?
if Huang didn't take the money, why did I give them the guns?
I...
I'm going to take a nap
east
south
I win!
I get it now
it weren't guns that you gave away, it was anger!
collect the guns!
nothing's happening
let the bullets fly for a while
gunfire!
look!
pissed! they are all pissed off now!
those lowly wretching fucking peasants! how dare them?
with guns in hands, follow me!
kill Huang, loot his castle!
with guns in hands, follow me!
kill Huang, loot his castle!
big bro, big bro look
only they followed us here!
we got excited too early, nobody will help us!
I get it
whoever wins they are on who's side!
shoot! you can only win by shooting!
what to shoot at? there's only a steel gate here
that's exactly what we shoot at!
how many men did they rallied up?
just the four of them
impossible
along with...
shoot! let them shoot!
let them shoot all they want!
big bro, sun's about to rise
if No.3 doesn't come back, we...
I know what you are thinking
you know what an exclamation mark is?
sure, sure
shoot me an exclamation mark on that gate
gotcha
does that look like an exclamation mark? where's the dot?
way off
get away
hook?hook?
keep watching
question mark
as long as you aim it right
you can run anytime!
release all of your bullets
thrugh that question mark dot!
no problem!
big bro!
big bro!
talk
I'm back
exactly three days
that's it
where is him?
all over there
let's go!
finally you are back!
I'm not him, I'm just a singer!
what's going on?
he ran and I chased
he ran and I chased him
and eventually we ran far away
he ran and I blocked
he ran and I blocked him
now I got him back
that simple?
right, that simple!
to celebrate No.3's return
release all your bullets
alright! let's go!
what about me?
and me?
on your stomach!
that sounds like only four men?
go chech it out
something it's going down!
something it's going down!
at least one dead
up!
brothers!
we've won, now triumph!
understood?
understood!
repeat it
we won! triumph!
make it theatrical!
follow me!
Huang is captured!
Huang is captured!
kill him!
kill him!
kill!
oh fuck!
fuck fuck fuck!
I'm the body double now
to the castle! retrieve what's belonged to you!
follow me!
follow me!
they took the castle down?
right!
Huang is captured
right!
he's now getting his ass whopped as Huang's body double
you destroyed his prestige and power
what about his body now?
we save him?
motherfucker over there! get over here!
stand up straight!
my folks!
Huang is indeed dead
but he died too easily
by that stupid governor
cut in half!
that wasn't just stupid, it was pure stupidity!
is that fair?
NOT FAIR!
does everybody okay with that?
NOT OKAY!
I'm not him
I know you are his body double
you enjoyed his life! you helped him with his dirty deeds!
you shall now, receive the punishment that he escaped
and more!
I'm really not him
kneel! kneel! kneel!
don't test my temper!
I'll count to three
who?!
which son of a bitch?
you want more ass whoopping?
your governor, am I annoying?
if I'm annoying, I'll disappear immidiately!
if I'm not annoying, I'll keep kicking his ass!
very annoying
your governor, I shall excuse mysefl then!
whenever you need me, just holla!
I'll be there!
later! later! let's go!
so what have you planned next?
stay in goose city to replace me?
I'm not a domesticated animal
you are a beast of the wild
the day you arrived, what if I came to welcome you myself
instead of sending Hu Wan over to mess with you
would it be any different now?
it was a fine hat, I liked it
it's not the finest, I have better ones at home
some other time I'll give them to you
thanks
in the end, it all came down to this ruin
you defeated me and left me with nothing
nothing? really? master huang
as of now you are still smoking a cigarette
you are still talking
but lil 6, No.2, Tang and madam
I can't hear their voices anymore
ever again
four of you
in exchange for my five generations worth of family fortune
not a good deal?
how you cook your book is your own business
to me
money is money, life is life
money is yours, I won't say a word
but why you gave it all away to them?
master huang
I ask you a question
go ahead
what do you think, is money important to me
or are you important to me?
me
think about it
it can't be money?
marinate it more
still, I'm more important
neither you nor money is important to me
then who's important?
without you, is very important to me
you are not looking for matches, are you?
no
then
you were looking for this
you are a classy man
there's only one bullet
enough
hold on
you want me to bring Tang a message?
yeah, tell him
that I was sorry
I lied to him
what did you lie to him?
I told him I wasn't gonna come back to goose city
but I did
you
you should've hold on to your words
right, that's why I feel bad about it
but to you
I am going to hold on to my words
understood
governor, governor
these two chairs belong to me now
big bro
don't hurry
what is it?
can I ask you a question?
sure
you like HuaJie, am I right?
governor, governor
I think I can reappear now
I just heard everything
he is not a classy man
I gave him a pistol
if he wants to act with class, leave him be
if he doesn't, you are gonna help him act with class
understood!
I have nine methods to torture him to death!
nine!
go now
wait to hear my blast!
yeah, something like that, what about it?
please don't say that I told you
big bro, we are ready to leave for ShangHai
not going back to the moutains with me?
still going back to the mountains?
you're not young anymore
what you guys were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?
we are just about to say it
I thought you wanted to join my crew and give away money?
haven't we given it all away today?
will there be anything nearly as exciting as today?
see, I'm already dressed up this way!
so it seems
you changed your mind?
that pretty much goes without saying
No.3, what are you up to?
I'm going to marry her on behalf of No.2
No.2
big bro, I'm No.3
No.3, when you were with me
were you not happy?
of course!
it's just that...
a little bit nervewrecking
and the two of you?
yeah, a little bit
uneasy
No.7?
big bro!
big bro! big bro!
girl
hold your guns like this
looks better
a gift to you now
big bro, then we are going to leave ahead of you now!
bye, big bro
leave!
next time don't forget to say hey
you take care of yourself, big bro!
take care!
goodbye!
pock-faced Zhang
No.6, No.2, advisor and madam
have you all seen it
No.3, are we going to ShangHai or PuDong?
No.3, are we going to PuDong or ShangHai?
ShangHai is PuDong
PuDong is ShangHai