- Baby, check this out.
- A power washer?
We need one of these.
Yeah.
- On the patio in the backyard.
- Yeah.
Should we go look
at those window treatments?
No.
Do you want one of these hotdogs?
They're very good.
Baby, you are a heck of a homemaker.
You know that?
But we could just go to dinner.
Well, you know,
if you don't make it...
You don't eat it.
You know what? That's a great idea.
What if I make you dinner?
I'm gonna go and get that, uh, grill.
The big shiny one.
Will you get us some shrimp?
The big jumbo kind.
Four down. Three over.
Come back and find me down here. In tools.
What the hell are you doing here?
You ignored my messages.
I am happy.
You're desperate.
- I can make this work.
- Frank, you're playing house.
Look, I'm retired, okay.
I'm happy. We are happy.
Frank... Frank...
You haven't killed anybody in months.
That is not a bad thing, okay?
That's a positive thing
for a lot of people.
Kemosabe, I need you.
They're coming. I can feel it.
You are driving me nuts, Marvin.
Listen, if it makes you feel better,
bring the girl.
I'm not gonna bring the girl anywhere,
all right?
Don't bring the girl where?
Oh, we're just catching up.
Marvin's here. I just bumped into Marvin.
Where are we going?
No, come on. They're gonna close.
Good to see you, Marvin.
- Good to see you.
- Frank.
You know you want to.
- No.
- Come on.
Last chance, Frank.
I'm taking Sarah home.
Stay safe.
- Well, I really wanted to be...
- Of course, it is, honey.
You are never gonna be
in danger ever again.
We don't even know what happened.
We don't know who's in there.
How am I gonna protect you?
Hey. He was your best friend.
Okay?
Come on.
Wow.
He still looks so lifelike.
He's not dead.
Honey, don't do that.
Just let your feelings out. Don't...
No. Really.
He does this a lot.
Really?
No, come on. Give me the pin.
Give me the pin.
Come on, sweetie.
Let's go sit down. Come on.
- Come on.
- I should kiss him.
Yeah, go ahead. Do you want to?
Let's go sit down. Come on.
Come on, sweetie.
At this time, we'll open
the floor to anyone
who wishes to say a few words
about the deceased.
Babe...
Share a memory, perhaps?
Perhaps, a poem. A song lyric.
Anyone?
You can do it.
Sir?
Marvin was
different.
He was
a very good shot.
Some would say that
he was paranoid.
But you have to expect a little of that
when the CIA's dosing you with LSD
for a little more than a decade.
He could wire a bomb
faster than anybody I ever met.
The good people of Moldova will always
be in Marvin's debt.
He was a really good friend.
Really good.
I'm gonna miss him.
Gonna miss him.
- We have to move.
- Canada?
High ground. Good kill zones.
It's a little farm.
- A farm? Like, to farm on?
- Yeah. Yeah.
Like, with crops?
Yeah. It could be fun.
Listen, babe...
You know they say it's really
important not to make big...
life-altering decisions right after a loss.
If they can get to Marvin,
they can get to you and they can get to me.
Who are they?
Go to the safe house.
Look at me. Go to the safe house.
I'll come find you, okay?
- I'm not leaving you.
- Listen...
It'll be all right.
What is it?
Mr. Moses...
They want to debrief you
at a Yankee White facility.
Is that your sniper?
You're flagged Retired Extremely Dangerous.
Hi, there.
Um, my client Frank Moses is here.
He's an American citizen being detained
illegally without due process.
- You know what? That is a lovely blazer.
- Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry, I have no idea.
But let me get Mr. Snyder for you.
Thank you.
How can I help you?
- Oh, hi, there. I'm sorry. What is
your name? - John Snyder.
John. You know what? I
didn't get your name.
- Oh, it's Kelly.
- Hi, Kelly.
John...
John... John!
Unless you want to end up like Kelly,
I suggest you tell me where
Frank Moses is right now.
Now!
In interrogation.
Ah!
I got a document right here that says that
you have a special interest in the Cold War.
We know that back in the day,
you spent an awful lotta time in Russia.
I just need to know what you
know about Project Nightshade.
I really don't know anything about it.
What the hell is that?
Small arms gunfire, 200 yards.
Watch him.
100 yards.
They're coming to kill us.
Get me outta these cuffs.
I can't do that, sir.
You have the key, right?
Hands up!
50 feet.
They're gonna kill us both,
if you don't get me outta these cuffs.
Come on.
Frank Moses.
You know, coming up through
the ranks, you were my hero.
Given enough time, I guess everyone cracks.
Huh, Frank?
- Who are you?
- Me?
Mmm-hmm.
I'm the guy the government
hires to get information.
And I'm allowed to use any
form of torture I deem fit.
And I will torture Sarah until you speak.
Speaking of Sarah, I love watching her
shave her legs in the tub.
Kinda reminds me of these Belgian mercs
I met in the Congo.
They would skin people alive
to get them to talk.
And do you know where they started?
Guess.
At the ankles. Just like your Sarah.
So...
You either give me the information
that I need to know...
Or I'm gonna fillet your girl
from head to toe with no mercy.
Awesome.
Wow.
Pretty good for a retired guy.
But are you...
1-2-3-4-5-6...
7-on-1 cuffed with no weapon good?
Son of a...
Go. Go, go, go!
Shoot him, but don't kill him.
All right, kill him. Spray it up.
Frank, this is your last chance.
Fire.
Get in there! Go!
Shit.
Marvin!
- You're driving me crazy!
- I brought the key.
You faked your death.
- Gotta go.
- Let's go.
Gotta go.
You have no idea
what you put me through!
Oh! Thank God, you're okay.
No!
- What are you doing here?
- Marvin brought me. From the house.
Has everybody lost their mind?
- Marv, you don't bring a girl like that here.
- I had to see if you were okay, didn't I?
Honey!
I thought...
What?
Remember when we had that conversation
about how you were gonna lay low?
You don't get to tell me when to lay.
I mean, I'm not saying that.
Stop. Just don't. Just don't... No.
- You're mad at me now?
- You treat me like a China doll.
Frank, can I give you
a little advice about women?
No! Absolutely not!
Listen, you gotta ask yourself,
what is a girl like that
doing with a guy like you?
It ain't for your looks.
You know, I will shoot you.
I will shoot you in the liver.
Adventure, romance, danger,
activities you can share as a couple.
It's about you lying to me.
Frank...
I was very touched that you cried
at my funeral.
That's not true.
I didn't cry at your funeral.
I'm no crier.
Ninety-six hours ago,
somebody posted a document on the Internet
that said you and I took part in an
operation called Nightshade back in '79.
That's why you fake died?
Yeah. The chatter went through the roof.
So everybody's after you
for something they think you know
that you don't even know at all?
Oh, my God! Spiders!
Honey, you need to go to ground
and it's best I don't know where.
Yeah, I'm not going anywhere.
- Cash only. No calls. No contacts.
- Thanks. Look...
I'm not hanging out in some bunker
while you slink around and save the planet
with dusky international femme fatales.
- Dusky?
- Dark, smoldering.
I know what it means, Marvin.
It's hard to be the kinda person
I have to be right now
and do the kinda things that I'm going
to have to do while you're here.
This is gonna be good for us.
What are we doing?
Let's face it, Columbo,
things were getting a little stale.
Wow. Mommy just slapped Daddy
at the dinner table.
Is there a human being
in the trunk?
Yeah.
Who is it, Marvin?
He's a Senior Director of
Military Intelligence.
I've been caramelizing his onions
for a couple of days.
Caramelizing how?
With three tabs of acid and a lot of rats.
Dang!
Eleven people dead. Five FBI.
And the SecDef wants a briefing?
You were brought in to contain this.
Calm down.
I can't believe this is coming back on me
after so many years.
General, Moses and Boggs
have been completely isolated.
The FBI is seeking them for the murders.
Homeland has been informed that they
are officially domestic terrorists.
Is that gonna work?
Yes.
The problem is with that document
surfacing on the Internet,
all the players will be
coming after Nightshade.
It'll open the book on this.
I'm calling SecDef. We need to go public.
General...
Nobody's going public.
We need a new plan for Moses.
I need you to approve a specialist.
What? CIA?
It's been tried, sir.
Didn't work so well for those guys.
Han Cho Bai. He's the best.
Do it.
Suit, too.
Okay, he's clean.
Seriously?
Sit down, Mr. Han.
Your security is impressive.
A business associate.
Julio Alvarez Fernandes.
Very difficult to get close to.
Of course, it must appear like an accident.
Not a problem. Except for one thing.
Mmm?
Mr. Fernandes pays better.
Yeah?
Who's the target?
Oh, it's an old pal of yours. Frank Moses.
Karma's a bitch, Frank.
What is this?
There's a watchword flag
on a WikiLeaks document.
It's coded Priority One Alpha Seven.
- Something called Nightshade.
- Shut up!
Get out.
Find me Victoria Winslow.
Director Philips?
Um...
I'm with someone right now.
Keeping busy, I see.
Idle hands do the Devil's work.
Yes.
I understand you can get close
to Frank Moses.
Yes.
MI6 has a job for you.
If you want to stay alive,
you're going to accept it.
It's time to choose sides, Victoria.
Where do they
teach you guys this stuff?
Manuals, mostly.
Mmm.
Some of this stuff you just can't teach.
Wow.
Isn't this cool?
We're on a mission together.
Do you have any idea how many people
are trying to kill us right now?
You and I both know
that this is where you belong.
Right here. In the thick of it.
Pussy Cat's right, Frank.
Here we go.
Watch your step.
What?
Oh.
Come on!
- Where did you get this?
- Um... Marvin.
- You gave her a gun?
- It is America, Frank.
Everyone else has a gun.
She has no idea what to do with this.
I know exactly what to do with it.
Ow!
You don't give fire to a kitten.
Why don't you just give her
some dynamite, Marvin?
No external safety on the Sig?
Tell him what you told me.
At the height of the Cold War,
Nightshade was cooked up
by a rogue US general
as a first strike capability
against the Soviets.
- That's it. Can I go?
- That's it?
- You want a little pepper with that?
- No, okay! At the height of the Cold War,
a megaton-yield device
was smuggled into Moscow
in diplomatic pouches, piece by piece,
and then the weapon was lost. That's it.
You lost a nuke in Moscow?
The scientist was Edward Bailey. That's it.
What?
I made a mistake.
Edward Bailey was a genius physicist
who built some of the greatest stuff
during the Cold War.
Neutron bombs, particle beam weapons,
nerve gas. Excellent nerve gas.
He was a rock star of
conceptual mass killing.
They called him "The Da Vinci of Death".
We were the security detail assigned to
getting him in and out of Moscow safely.
What happened?
We thought he was secure.
The Soviets got him with a car bomb.
It was my fault.
He's dead.
Run or fight?
All we've got is this
WikiLeaks page off the Internet.
Out of a Paris IP.
Hmm. Paris could be anybody.
Wait. Wait. Scroll back down for a second.
- What is that?
- Oh.
Uh...
Coffee stain?
Mmm. Wine.
Frog.
What?
We're okay.
Your number.
Yeah.
MI6 has just given me a
contract to kill you.
Apparently, you're guilty
of nuclear terrorism, murder,
and you're number one
on Interpol's Most Wanted.
What did you say?
Oh, I said "Yes. "
You know, the money's good.
And anyway, if I don't do it,
somebody else will.
Oh, and you should know the Americans
are sending someone also.
Who?
Han.
It's bad, isn't it?
- Is that Marvin?
- Yes. And Sarah.
Aw! Send them my love, will you?
They're driving me crazy.
Marvin gave her a gun.
- Was it loaded?
- Yes! Yes!
Are you being controlling?
No!
You have to take chances in a relationship.
You have to be supportive.
I don't need her to fit in.
I just need her to be safe.
Just rent Dirty Dancing,
tell her you love her.
You know, it's important to enjoy life
while you still can.
Victoria just accepted a contract from MI6
to kill all three of us.
You don't think she'd do that, do you?
Frank, you don't think she'd do that?
She's a friend.
Frank, what, are you stupid? You never
took a contract out to kill a friend?
She called to give us fair warning.
Come on. There's one more thing.
Han just went number one.
Why don't they just
dip our balls in honey
and stake us to an ant farm?
Come on.
Whoa! Crazy old bastard.
Frank, do you feel old?
- Not really.
- Me neither.
I mean, crazy sometimes, I guess.
Who's Han?
Who's Han?
Korean. Counter-intel.
Frank put him in jail for a few years.
We should be super-scared of him, huh?
Yes. He is the best contract
killer in the world.
I've got a hit off an old alias,
silent for almost 20 years.
He's dodging watch lists.
Bingo. Private flight to Paris
scheduled for 0900 out of Teterboro.
Find their hotel. Get blueprints and
workups on the day and night managers.
Have Vance meet us on the ground.
They're one floor down. Two adjoining rooms.
Surveillance is almost up and running.
This is going to be
easier than I thought.
Hello. Speaking.
Yes.
- Where are they?
- They were here.
They ordered room service at 1:00.
What do you mean,
"The plane is prepped"?
I think someone stole your plane.
I'm really going to enjoy killing him.
Get me a gun that really hurts.
So how good is this guy?
Han is the best contract
killer in the world.
Let's just say that Frank
is in some very, very deep dog doo.
- He's not gonna kill me.
- Yeah.
- Nobody kills Frank Moses.
- Right!
The people he really doesn't like,
he tortures for a long time first.
Can we just focus
on trying to catch The Frog?
Okay. What's the action plan
for target acquisition and rendition?
Marvin?
Quit teaching her stuff!
Nice.
What do you think the most expensive
bottle of wine in the world costs?
Chateau d'Yquem 1847.
Maybe five, six, maybe, bottles left
in the world. It's pretty pricey.
Maybe we should get a bottle of that wine
and try to catch The Frog with it.
My God, this is so romantic!
Come here. Keep your head down.
But we have to go to the
Ile Saint-Louis for gelato.
I don't think so.
Really? What about the...
- Frank, is that...
- Mmm-hmm.
Hello, Frank.
- Have you seen her since?
- Nope.
God, I've missed you.
Who is she?
Trouble.
How are things?
Yeah, Frank, how are things?
Sarah...
This is Katja.
Yeah. Hi.
I need to speak with you. Immediately.
What the hell was that?
Katja Petrokovich.
Russian Counter-Intelligence.
I think we should hear what she has to say.
Frank...
You don't know the half of it.
She and Frank were young.
And he didn't have the slightest idea
she was working for the Russians.
She's Frank Moses' kryptonite.
I like you with no hair, Frank.
Bald men are so sexy. Virile.
Wow.
She's cute.
Where did you find her? Nebraska?
- Kansas.
- Kansas.
So what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
I would like to believe
that the US didn't plant
a weapon of mass-destruction in Moscow.
But I don't.
Why are you in Paris?
We come every fall for Strike Season
- and for the weather.
- Oh?
Well, the US seems to think
you're nuclear terrorists.
Russia wants complete access.
You agree now or I'll hand you over
to the US government.
Can't we just kill her?
Excuse me for one second.
Can I talk to you?
- What? Oh. Uh-huh. Sure thing.
- Come here for a minute.
- You know, I was shocked.
- I got it.
Yeah, I know. She was kinda counting
your teeth with her tongue.
A little, yeah.
Can she go now?
We don't really have a choice.
We need her to help us.
I promise there is nothing between us.
No, sir. This guy's not giving us anything.
Website's been scrubbed.
NSA intercepted a dispatch
to the Kremlin from Paris.
Moses is going after someone
called "The Frog".
The Frog.
So they call him "The Frog"
because he's French?
No.
No, he poisoned the water supply
at KGB headquarters
with the Amazon tree frog poison.
He must have been wiping
those little tree humpers for years.
Incapacitated 1,600 people and left
with every secret we had.
You know, the guy makes a fortune
selling information.
He knows so much
even the US won't touch him.
The hard part is gonna be taking him alive.
- Superb.
- Wine is wine.
I want to buy American
air defense protocols.
Why is it terrorists
never appreciate Burgundy?
Look, I don't think you know
who you're dealing with.
Shh! Excusez-moi.
Hmm.
Confirmed. It's him. It's The Frog.
Just don't look at him, right?
Well, just act natural.
And whatever you do,
don't look him right in the eyes.
Check.
Remember,
don't look right at him.
Idiot!
- Marvin, you all right?
- Yeah.
All right. Get her outta here.
- When?
- Now!
Get a car!
Is that...
Cut them off!
This is not a good idea!
She's not gonna get there first!
Sidewalk!
- Yes!
- No!
Yes!
Happy trans, bozo!
Don't you think we should let...
Shut your pie hole, Marvin!
Don't you think we should let...
Hush!
Incoming!
Bastard! Sidewalk!
What the...
She's fine.
Got him.
What are you doing?
Got him.
Look! What is she doing?
I'm begging...
Yeah, yeah. I got this.
I so got this.
I hate her so much.
You're wasting your time!
You're going to regret this
more than you can possibly imagine.
Hey.
You know who we are?
Yes, of course.
Tell us about Nightshade.
You think I'm going to roll over for you
hegemonic Mickey Mouse-loving Americans?
Leave Mickey out of it.
1947 Petrus?
Yes. That one's rather...
God's sake!
Wait, wait, wait! That bottle...
How do we find it?
Never! Nightshade was the plot of lunatics.
I used to be like you.
Driven by ideology and fear
with no love of what's
beautiful in the world.
I can't trust animals like you!
Do what you will.
Death is easy.
It's not about the destination.
It's about the journey.
Death is an art form in Russia.
There are so many ways
to take a man to bits.
Shall we start with a Chechen facelift?
Hold him down!
Stop! Stop it!
This is how we do it.
Please. You're so brave.
But you have to understand
we're doing this for the right reasons.
And this...
This isn't worth your life.
You must have something to live for.
Art.
Wine.
Women?
Hey.
Help us.
We need this information.
You'll be helping us save the world.
Please.
Mmm.
You, I'll help.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
And you can suck it.
Baby? Honey?
Seriously? You hooked up with that?
What a woman.
Is that the same dress?
They look the same to you?
No one ever called me
Frank Moses' kryptonite.
Frank's crazy about you.
I've never seen him afraid
of anything except losing you.
What if I'm ruining his life?
Frank is a very simple creature
with very simple needs.
Okay? It's killing,
eating,
sexting,
eating...
Killing, I guess.
What's your point?
I can't believe you kissed The Frog.
Well, I've kissed a lotta frogs.
- I got something for ya.
- What is it?
The key to The Frog's security deposit box.
- From?
- Credit Lyonnais.
Baby, I have a request.
Uh-huh.
How would you feel about
going out to dinner with me tonight?
- Hmm.
- It is Paris, after all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Stay here. I'll be right back.
I need you, Frank.
It's not a good time.
One of our old assets
has some real information.
He needs to meet with us right now.
Nah.
Frank, what are you doing? She's kryptonite.
What are you doing?
- I'll handle it.
- Are you sure?
Yeah.
It's not okay. It's just some work.
- No, it's not fun.
- Go. You and Svetlana, you work it out.
I promise you that I will be back
in time for dinner.
I'll be back.
Keep her safe.
What happened to us, Frank?
- Well...
- Hmm.
You betrayed me.
You set me up. Tried to kill me.
I tried to kill you.
They were good times, weren't they?
You know, if you'd asked me
to betray my country,
you know I would have.
Yes, madam.
My God.
You know, I looked you up once.
You were in a bungalow in Los Angeles.
There were roses out in front.
But I lost my nerve.
So what do you want?
It was all about work
with you, Frank. Rules.
Not rules.
Right and wrong.
You know, it's harder for me
not to follow orders.
Despite my personal feelings.
But feelings don't matter
any more than right or wrong.
Orders matter.
Orders?
Russia will handle things from here.
I'm taking the key, Frank.
I can't let that happen.
No?
I can't feel my arms.
Enjoy Kansas.
Hmm.
He's out.
He might be awake.
Oh, good. So he can feel it.
Did you ever, ever in your entire career
let yourself get drugged?
You still like her!
And now she has the key!
She doesn't have the key. She has a key.
What?
I knew she would play him
like a banjo at an Ozark hoedown.
So I have the key.
Water.
How long was I out for?
Some of it's his.
Et tu, Marvin?
Style is the only constant in life, Frank.
We didn't come to Paris on vacation.
Oh. Shopping's what I thought
you did in Paris
with your boyfriend's money
while you're waiting for him
to wake up from being taken down
by his skanky, slutty,
Russian biatch ex-girlfriend.
So thanks. Thanks.
Thanks for the compliment for the fur.
For telling me that I look nice in my dress.
It makes me feel really good.
And it makes me feel
very loving towards you also.
Why is she doing this to me?
We can get a taxi over here.
Frank, listen, I gotta tell you something.
You have to start to learn to share
your feelings to evolve your relationship.
Even if it seems uncomfortable at first.
Say you're pinned down in a firefight.
If you stay where you are,
you're gonna die. Okay?
So, you tell me, what do you do?
Make the run.
Yes. You have got to make the run
to emotional safety.
Huh.
You dead yet, Moses?
Not yet.
Where's my plane?
In my ass!
- It's in an airport outside of Paris.
- What are you... Shut up!
Let's get outta here.
- Marvin?
- Yeah?
Is that a stick of dynamite in your pocket?
Yeah, but I'm saving it for an emergency.
Well, this is kind of
an emergency, isn't it?
The key I gave her is connected to
a particularly nasty terrorist cell
and their safe deposit box.
The French take this
kinda thing pretty seriously.
That's enough.
Put me down! Put me down now!
All right.
We gotta move quickly,
Moscow will have her out within the hour.
For the love of Mike.
All right.
I'm still not talking to you.
All right. This is an MI6
report on Project Nightshade.
It's about the operative
that placed the device.
They took him into custody
and put him on ICE.
What's ICE?
Incarcerate, Cannot Execute.
Who would they keep on ICE for 32 years?
- Come on. Gotta go.
- Come on where? Oh!
How could she have possibly found us?
'Cause I called her
and told her we were coming.
I couldn't take the
pressure of not knowing.
Why isn't she shooting at us?
That should buy us 24 hours.
Hello, sweetie.
You know, the next time
you two make a plan like this,
you could at least let me in on it.
Frank, you're compromising me.
Who knows what some girl
is gonna squeeze out of you?
Where'd you get the bodies?
My freezer.
Come on. Wake up.
Yeah?
What the hell's going on?
- Sir?
- Get anything from The Frog?
No, he took some sorta poison
before we really talked.
I don't think he's gonna say anything now.
You've got to find Moses and Boggs.
Mmm. Mmm.
Don't worry. I'm on the trail.
On your right,
you see the famous Tower of London.
And shortly, we'll be passing
under the Tower Bridge.
It's a fortress.
It's an asylum for the criminally insane.
He's in the ICE unit.
That's an MI6 Alpha Level secure facility
buried deep within that building.
It's like a prison within a prison.
How are we gonna get in there?
She wants my head!
She wants my head! It's a Papist plot.
It's her. It's that bitch Mary,
Queen of Scots. She wants my head.
What are you doing? No! No!
Get me Cecil. Get me Cecil.
I'm the Queen of England!
Don't take me to the Tower!
I'll have your head for this, you bitch!
No! No!
"Uneasy lies the head
that wears the crown. "
They're plotting against me.
All of them.
There's a good queen.
Stuff it, you old bat.
Thank you.
Not so much the "old," if you don't mind.
I think it was
really, really good.
I thought I was kind of channeling
Bette Davis.
Good morning. Dr. Jones to see
prisoner number 17, please.
Dr. Jones? Are you with MI6?
Sadly, not anymore.
Because I don't seem to
have you on my list.
Bloody thing's not working. Why's that?
You're supposed to use...
Lay down on the ground.
Attaboy. On the floor.
Number 121. Oh, there it is.
Frank!
Who are you? You're visitors?
Who are you looking for?
We love having visitors, don't we, fellas?
Dr. Bailey?
Dr. Bailey?
Yes. Who did you expect to find here? Hmm?
- Sir...
- What?
I saw you die.
Saw me die? Who is he?
Frank?
Frank Moses, my dear fellow!
How are you, old sport?
So glad to see you. So glad you came by.
We've been expecting you.
Haven't we, fellas?
My God, Frank, why are you so old?
Good lord!
- Sir...
- What?
You've been locked up here for 32 years.
Come on, Frankie,
you've gotta be kidding me.
Come on, put 'em up.
Thirty-two years. How extraordinary.
Who are you?
Victoria.
Victoria! You should read this.
Lenin. State and Revolution. Jolly good time.
Stalin got it wrong, of course.
So where are we going, Frank?
Are you taking us
to the opera again tonight?
Is that where we're going, Frank?
The opera?
We love the opera, don't we, fellas?
Yes, the opera and the champagne
and the strawberries all 'round.
Sorry, my dear, what is your name again?
Victoria.
I'm sorry, it's the drugs
they've been feeding me,
it's my short-term memory.
The drugs they've been feeding...
Something that's meant to
keep us peaceful, I suppose,
or harmless!
Anyway, I know
it's around here somewhere,
but I don't know where it is.
Dr. Bailey, we need your help.
- Mmm?
- Do you remember Nightshade?
I'm sorry, I'm looking for my pipe
and my St. Christopher medallion.
Boys gave it to someone.
They were little boys, you see.
Now where it's gone... It's gone somehow.
Um...
Oh, shit!
Hey, Frankie, I'm over here.
I found it. it was in my
pocket the whole time.
I couldn't find my damn pipe, though.
But here it is.
Sorry, my dear,
what was the question you asked me?
Do you remember Nightshade?
Vaguely. It was some kind of
a bomb, I believe.
Dr. Bailey, people are looking
for that weapon.
People who want to use it.
Oh, dear. Yes, I do understand, of course.
Believe you me.
But you know, I made many things
for the Americans and
Nightshade turned out to be
a bit of a nightmare.
It was quite different.
Turned out to be too dangerous.
So naturally, they had to lock me up
in this place.
And after what they did to me,
I think it's perfectly natural
I tell them all to go F off!
MI6 tried to fake Bailey's death?
Why? What are they hiding?
You're gonna have to go.
You're gonna have to go find out.
You know
they're gonna try and kill me.
- I'll call you from Russia.
- Do svidanya.
Maintenance to Bridge 7.
We got a breach in Maximum Security.
Secure!
All right, what's so important?
I just heard from my source at MI6
that Edward Bailey's alive and on the run.
- That's not possible.
- This is bigger than a rogue general
and his unexploded ordnance.
What don't I know?
The game has changed.
The things Bailey knows are too dangerous.
We can't let Bailey or Nightshade fall into
terrorist hands, or millions will die.
Holy shit, it's real.
Unless we secure it, that weapon's
going off in the middle of Moscow.
Right now, that's our best case scenario.
Guys?
Ah!
Welcome, my friends.
So, it is true. You're alive.
Tell me, then, where is this device?
Who?
Work in progress.
I never thought I'd be smuggling
Frank Moses into the
heart of Mother Russia.
Me, neither.
Oh, before I forget. Frank.
Frank, a little something.
If you are caught or Han catches you
suicide pill is a much better option
than what you face.
You die with Russian smile on.
Good luck. Do svidanya.
- Mr. Bailey.
- Yes, Frank?
Is there any way you could tell us
where you hid the nuclear weapon?
Look at all those cows, Frank.
They're beautiful.
Yeah.
Cows?
Hi! Yoo hoo!
That's not good.
We have eyes on, Frank.
Where's my plane?
They paid me to kill you.
They didn't say I had to do it all at once.
This is not over, Moses.
We're not over! It's not!
What's wrong with him?
Wow.
What is this place?
My first safe house.
Untouched, since 1984. Aw!
Fugu poison?
Fugu poison is deadly stuff.
Terrible death.
This your little gizmo? XKG gas.
I invented it.
We tried to take out
old Fidel Castro in '61 in Cuba.
That didn't work though.
Any tea, Frank?
Why does Han hate you so much?
Not enough hugs as a child.
Frank framed him for
stealing state secrets.
So he went from being
a highly decorated counter-intel officer
to... to being a pariah.
What's ironic though, is that Frank
actually created the circumstances
for his own death.
It's poetic.
I ain't dead yet.
Should you eat that?
Is that safe?
It's before they had that,
you know, "sell by" date stuff.
Oh.
So did you get to meet Castro?
Who?
Did you get to meet Castro?
Yes, I did, actually. About two weeks
after Kennedy was assassinated.
Talking of which, Frank,
I'm starting to remember
more and more who I am
and who I was and the weapons I made.
My God, it really is amazing.
How efficiently those boys from MI6,
may God bless 'em...
But you know something, Frank?
They really do throw us away.
Don't they, old sport?
When we're no longer convenient, I suppose.
As though we'd never given them
the best years of our lives.
Bit of a joke, really.
Yes, very strange.
Do you remember where Nightshade is?
I'm sorry, my dear?
Do you remember where Nightshade is?
Oh, yes.
Now, this feels right.
It's around here somewhere.
I'm sure this time.
Everything looks different completely.
Maybe it's over here.
- It's been hours. Hours.
- Yeah, this is it.
Here we are.
How are those Jimmy Choos
working out for you?
The entrance is up there.
Who's Papa John?
It's new.
Entrance to what?
Secret tunnels
through the old catacombs.
Brezhnev used it to sneak his mistress in.
- In where?
- In there.
The Kremlin?
The weapon is in the Kremlin?
It's the one place they wouldn't look.
Jesus. Do you mind keeping it warm?
You have no idea
the damage you've done.
You kept one of our own
locked up for 32 years.
I have kept the world safe.
- If that weapon falls into the
wrong hands... - The weapon?
You haven't the slightest idea.
You must let me call Moses.
He doesn't know what he's walking into.
You've had your chance. It's over.
I'm sorry, Victoria.
Sorry, my ass.
They say you're a legend around here.
I've...
I've never heard of you.
Must have been a bit before my time.
Well, you've heard of me now.
How is it possible they never picked up
the radiation signature from that bomb?
That's the million dollar question.
Hey, gang. This is new.
What do you think is behind that wall?
Um...
I think Russians.
If anybody sees that hole, we're dead.
I'm gonna need you to help me
to disarm the weapon.
Frank, somebody's gotta guard the door.
- No.
- But...
You'll need this.
One more time.
Great. Great. What does that mean?
"Gas leak. Maintenance is coming. "
- Good. And then they'll move on.
- And what if they don't?
- Want a gun?
- Yes.
No. No gun.
Just don't move. You're a security guard.
Don't smile. You can't smile.
You just never leave your post. Okay?
Nice.
Two shots, here and here.
Drag the body in there
and repeat as necessary.
- No safety.
- No safety.
Frank, I don't like
the Kremlin so much.
And I like being underneath it even less.
Here we are.
That's great. It's just like yesterday.
There's my wrench or crow bar.
Look at this.
There.
Hey, look, chaps.
That's my old pipe.
I knew I'd left it somewhere.
My dear wife bought this the fifth, 1969.
It was our wedding anniversary.
Oh, yes! This is, um...
This is Nightshade, by the way.
There.
- Is that...
- That's Red Mercury.
Red Mercury?
We were always told it was a Cold War myth.
Yes, they said it couldn't be done,
but I did it. See?
Frank, if that's Red Mercury,
you can zip it up in a backpack
and take it on the White House tour.
It's undetectable.
No signature. No fallout.
This is a weapon
that will entirely change
the balance of international
power overnight. Just like that.
We're all gonna die.
On your knees.
Katja.
No government should have this weapon.
Not yours. And not mine.
I have orders.
This isn't about orders.
This is about right and wrong.
Don't.
Did you really come to
see me in the States?
Yes.
What color were the flowers
outside my house?
Yellow.
What in the name of... Hey!
What are you doing kissing this guy?
I didn't wanna kill him.
What kinda stupid logic is that?
What in the Sam Hill is she doing here?
She's working with us again.
Like heck she is.
Why were you kissing that guy?
Kids, what happens
in the Kremlin stays in the Kremlin.
You are gonna
have to explain this to me.
Hey, Comrades!
Here's to more success.
Success.
And saving the world!
Saving the world!
Na zdorovie!
Na zdorovie!
I got this. Right back.
Hey.
Where are you?
Moscow.
He's a nutter, Francis.
MI6 didn't lock him up
because he created the weapon
but because he wants to see it go off.
Hello, Frank.
That was Victoria, wasn't it?
Telling you that I was
some sort of a monster
who once wanted to destroy
the Soviet empire.
Yeah. Very slowly.
That's it. Good boy.
Good. In you go.
Marvin...
Guns down.
Weapons down. Very slowly.
You planted the thing on WikiLeaks.
Oh, yes, it was a cell phone
taken from a guard.
I was just itching to get
my revenge on MI6, you see.
Frank, you were absolutely marvelous
the way you found The Frog.
No one else could have found him.
Jack?
Sorry, Frank, I made a deal already
with Mr. Horton for Red Mercury.
- Well done, Bailey.
- Thanks.
Nice to see you again, Frank.
Pick up the guns.
Your country appreciates
your sacrifice, Frank.
But your time's up.
Let's go.
It's time, Bailey.
Yes, it is time.
Very Interesting.
Rogue American agents turned nuclear
terrorists kill top Russian officer.
Not good.
So long, Frank. So long, Marvin.
Come on, boys, let's go.
Easy. Easy.
Oh, please, let me take that from you.
I thought we were doing
the debriefing in London.
Oh, we were. But since
you're such a sick, twisted bastard,
you're going to Colorado.
There's a secret facility there,
it's about a mile underground,
where you will spend your remaining years
having every bit of knowledge
plucked from that giant head of yours.
Really?
Hmm.
And since we're speaking frankly,
I should say that it will
make your last 32 years
seem like a vacation in the Caribbean.
Cuff him.
Mmm.
Oh, I say.
Well, well.
Bet you didn't see that coming.
Did you, old man?
I must say, I didn't. Jolly good.
After you.
Thank you.
Good morning, gentlemen.
What did he say?
Ready.
Do something. Do something.
I love you.
At least Han didn't get us first.
Really? You're gonna
bring that up right now?
Ah, there is nothing more sexy
in the whole world
than a beautiful woman
with an incredible gun.
You're such a romantic.
Watch your eyes.
Close your eyes.
I love the way your toes curl
right before you fire.
Hopeless.
Mmm.
Ah!
- Freeze.
- Shh!
You know something? I don't think you
ought to point that idiotic thing at me.
You should really start thinking about
your security protocol, don't you think?
What the hell is that?
That, my dear boy, is an antidote
to the most powerful nerve
agent ever created. Look.
Hello, boys.
Hello, Mr. Davis.
And you didn't see that coming.
Did you, old sport?
I'm sure you wouldn't want
to miss what's coming next.
It's a little antidote. Jolly good.
That's right.
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Good. Thank you.
Jolly good.
Honestly, two days,
Frank, two days,
and you're in front of a firing squad?
Yeah. But look...
No. No excuses.
You're better than this. It's pathetic.
Frank, an American military transport
made an emergency landing in London.
Everyone aboard was found dead.
Bailey has taken refuge
in the Iranian embassy.
The Iranian embassy?
We've gotta go there.
All right. Get 'em ready.
I'm gonna make sure we're
cleared for takeoff.
If the world is here in a week,
I will meet you in the Turks and Caicos.
Mmm-hmm.
And we will spend all night
- beneath the stars.
- Beneath the stars.
Mmm...
I don't speak Korean!
You having fun yet?
I'll let you know when I start having fun.
You betrayed me.
I had no choice.
You'd have done the same thing,
if you were me.
How much is the US paying you?
20 million.
Are you kiddin' me?
I asked for more.
What happened to you?
You used to be a good agent.
Stop! Wait a minute.
Listen, I need your help.
I know there's a part of you
that wants to do the right thing.
There is a weapon
that's gonna be detonated...
Bullshit.
It's not bullshit.
There's a bomb headed for London right now.
Eleven million people are gonna
lose their lives if you don't help me.
All right.
Let's go.
This doesn't mean I'm not
going to kill you later.
I know.
I think the way
to make a relationship work
is that neither of you give up who you are.
Don't you agree, Marvin?
Exactly. Exactly what Marvin says.
Falling in love is like jumping off a cliff.
You just have to believe and let go.
My God!
Are you okay?
No, he's all right.
He's with us.
We talked it out.
Kill Bailey. Secure the weapon.
How hard can it be?
Of course, the external security
is very, very heavy
but inside there are hardcore
Revolutionary Guards.
They are serious fanatics.
The whole thing depends on her.
You do realize, if they catch you,
they will kill you.
I know this won't be
easy for you, but don't worry.
Okay?
You know, I've been thinking about
you and me.
And I just...
I got you something.
Wow.
You like it?
- I love it.
- Seven rounds.
- Okay.
- Not yet. I'm not ready.
Stop, no.
Not right now. Wait.
If you don't do it,
you're gonna blow it, all right?
Look at me.
- I'm gonna count to three.
- Mmm. Listen...
I'm gonna count to three, okay?
- We can go back to the...
- In English.
- One...
- Not now. No. Wait.
Two...
God damn it.
Hi.
She's gonna get killed.
It's tough when they leave the nest.
Frank, come on. A little trust.
She has talents you and I will never have.
What talents?
People like her.
If she lives,
this'll be good for your relationship.
You're right.
And if there's one thing I know,
it's women and covert ops.
That's two things.
No, grasshopper.
It is not.
I wanna tell you a secret, Mr. Minister.
Is she gonna make out with this guy, too?
Ohh!
What the hell was that?
Blowfish poison.
Paralysis and shooting pains
will grip your entire body.
And you will slowly asphyxiate
until you choke to death
while remaining fully-conscious,
unless you do exactly what I say.
I will die before I compromise my country.
Okay. We will drive you to your office where
you will write a letter on official stationery
denouncing the treatment of women in Iran.
Then you will get your antidote.
That's it?
How may I help you?
Ah. Dr. Bailey, my apologies for the delay.
Professor Dombrovski has
declared the weapon authentic.
And we're prepared to proceed.
As soon as my money's transferred,
Mr. Ambassador.
Move! She's with me.
Arman?
He needs to go.
Okay, okay.
What are you talking about? Who is she?
Sir, I'm sorry, you need to leave.
You need to shut up!
No.
What? What is happening here?
Sorry. What are you doing?
Tell me what is happening here! Who is she?
Get out! When I say "get
out," get out of here!
You need to go!
You shut the fuck up!
Where's the safe?
What?
Where's the safe?
Poo poo's coming.
24 Hour Plumbing.
Hurry. Emergency.
Water everywhere. Come quick.
Stop! Plumbers, wait!
It's okay! This way.
Money received.
Good show.
Let's see our friend here.
Would you lend me your knife, please?
Thank you.
Sorry about the mess on the carpet.
Oh, Well.
At this point, Jack... You don't
mind me calling you "Jack," I hope.
You must be beginning to comprehend
the stunning totality of your failure.
You can't give it to them.
Oh, I've no more interest
in giving Red Mercury
to these boys than I have
in giving it to you.
Jesus.
Yes, it's a sad old world, you know.
Anyway, that's only my opinion.
But the central point is this, Jack,
you see, when men like you
and those dickheads from MI6
or CIA or whatever sewers you came from.
When you take away not only my life
but the innocent lives of
my dear beloved wife Natasha
and my little boy,
who was only six, you see. Yes.
I mean, what can I say?
When you mess with me, buddy,
this is what you get.
Go to hell, old man.
Fare thee well, patriot.
Boom.
Now what's next?
Ah, Washington.
Baby, hey.
Are you okay?
Hah!
Awesome!
Oh, shit.
- Is that it?
- It's counting down, Frank.
Shut it Off. Right?
Shut... Yeah.
With what? Acupressure?
- I don't know.
- Well, why is it my responsibility?
Just do something.
With my Mr. Chemistry set?
I don't know what I'm doing.
You want me to push a button?
Bailey's loose and the bomb's ticking.
Wait. Excuse me, ma'am.
Hello, I have an appointment.
Gun!
Get that bomb outta here.
- Drop it now, darling. That's right.
- My gun!
Press the button. Ground floor.
Marvin, let's go!
Jolly good show.
Bollocks.
You really drive this ridiculous thing?
Can you shoot?
We need eyes, Francis.
Come on, Frank. Forty minutes.
Marvin, how ya doin' back there?
I can't talk to you right now.
How is it?
It's fine.
Shit!
Show me something.
Victoria,
I got eyes on. Bailey's heading for the M4.
Got it.
Got it!
This one should stop it
and this one should detonate it.
It's fifty-fifty, Frank.
Wait!
That's weird.
Do you have any idea what you're doing?
Wait, wait! Wait!
Stop cutting wires!
I knew we were gonna die!
- Ready to kill this son of a bitch?
- Abso-bloody-lutely.
Damn it!
Trouble.
Marvin!
Frank, it's two pedals and two sticks.
Okay.
Damn it! We missed him.
He's going into the airport.
Go get him!
- Well, where are you?
- In trouble.
Turn back!
You are in restricted airspace.
Frank, they're gonna blow us outta the sky.
I wouldn't worry about that.
The engine's shutting down.
Mayday! mayday!
Frank!
I knew we were gonna die!
This is your last warning!
Oh, please, tell me you're not crashing
with a weapon of mass destruction.
No, Frank, no.
Oh, God.
You okay back there, Marvin?
It wasn't exactly a
three-point landing, Frank.
How's the bomb doing?
I can't stop it.
We gotta get it outta here.
Hey! Hey!
Get outta the car.
Hello, Frank.
Welcome aboard.
Always the good soldier, aren't you?
Stalemate.
How will you take him out
and not shoot her first?
Frank, it's okay.
You can shoot. It's okay.
Put the gun down.
Put the gun down!
Drop the gun!
Put the gun down, Frankie.
Thank you.
Pretty smart.
So love does conquer all.
Go to your golden warrior.
That's a good girl.
Aw!
Come here.
Ah! It's so sweet.
Now leave the plane.
Take Nightshade with you.
Bye, Frank.
Sweet dreams.
Why didn't you just shoot me?
- What happened?
- I couldn't disarm it.
Oh, crap.
Marvin,
it's going to detonate?
Yeah.
Put your arms around me.
Oh...
I didn't see that one coming.
There's something you don't see every day.
You put the bomb on the plane.
And, um, you didn't think to mention that?
You blew up my plane.
Sorry.
I was wrong? So we're not even gonna die?
Not yet.
I was actually starting to like you.
I was even thinking about not killing you.
This is what happens when
you try to save the world.
Han. Han, you can't
- put a price on these things.
- Uh-uh.
You owe me 30 mil for the plane.
And 20 for not killing you.
You're a dead man, Moses.
Thanks for your help.
Really.
You think he means it?
Nah, he's a nice guy.
I mean it, Frank!
All right.
Aw!
They're going to be right as rain.
He made the run to emotional safety.
So...
I did hear about this job in Caracas.
And?
Don't look at me. She's your girlfriend.
Oh.
Come on.