1
Glorious, madam, isn't it?
Mmmm, yes.
Could I see that one down there, please?
Why, yes, indeed, madam. By all means.
Mr. Meyer. Mr. Meyer!
Mr. Meyer! Mr. Meyer!
Mr. Meyer! Mr. Meyer!
Let me out of here!
Let me out of here!
What's this?
Some dame cops a bracelet out of Meyer
& Company and hocks it on 3rd Avenue.
- Open and shut.
- First offense?
Nah, she's got a record.
This is her third offense.
Good, good. A first offender at
Christmastime is tougher than tiger meat.
Conviction's only 78 percent
as against 82 percent last year.
Can I handle this case, boss?
I'll getcha a conviction--
Oh, you could probably handle it
as well as some of these dopes.
When the right case comes
along, I'll give it to you.
Wife beater or something like that.
Your face isn't right to prosecute a woman.
- Get me Sargent!
What's his face got that mine hasn't got?
I don't know. But whatever it is,
he hasn't lost a case for me yet.
Yassuh... Yassuh...
Well, if this is de office,
he's already lef'.
I didn't say to say that, you dumbbell.
Oh my, no, this isn't his office.
You just tell him that a young woman
wants to make an appointment with him.
Uh, uh, this isn't de office. A young
woman wants to make a appointment wid ya.
Just a minute.
Uh, who all wants to
speak to Master Sargent?
Your boss.
It's a good thing you didn't
take up the stage for a living.
I'll see you down here in 15 minutes.
Now, wait a minute. You told me when
I finished up the Mathews case, I--
But I got 750 miles to drive.
Your mother sure's gonna be mad.
Oh sure, and fall asleep at
the wheel and get croaked.
Well, who's defending?
O'Leary.
Aw, that windbag, huh?
He'll give us the Gettysburg Address and
the Declaration of Independence and the--
I'll have Tom meet you in court, and
you'll be out of there by noon.
Kindly remember who you're talking to...
...and leave the pigs out of it.
...during the course of this trial to
prove that an invaluable bracelet...
...was taken from the premises of
Meyer & Company by the defendant.
I don't like the smile on that jury's pan.
All juries get softhearted at Christmas,
Tommy. If you ever get a case to prosecute...
...and you see that "peace on earth, good
will toward men" look come in their eyes...
...get a continuance.
How flimsy is this argument?
Oh, this is a waste of time,
ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
Of your time and mine.
Time we could spend to much better advantage
in last-minute Christmas shopping.
I know that's what I'd like to be doing.
May it please the Court,
we object, Your Honor.
The jury's Christmas shopping has
nothing to do with the case.
Objection sustained.
The jury will disregard Mr. O'Leary's
tempting allusion to Christmas shopping.
Quite obviously, we'd all like
to be Christmas shopping.
I withdraw the allusion, Your Honor.
When I say there has
been a waste of time...
...I mean that the State has
gone to great lengths...
...to prove that Anna-Rose Malone,
sometimes known as Lee Leander...
Sometimes known as a
lot of other things...
...did on the afternoon of December
3rd walk out upon 5th Avenue...
...with a bracelet which was still
the property of Meyer & Company...
...to prove something she freely admits.
As if the proof of that fact
constituted proof of guilt!
The truth is simple.
The bracelet was removed during a
temporary loss of will and consciousness...
...now known as schizophrenia...
...but formerly known as...
...hypnotism!
This young girl...
What do you mean, you're
not gonna object?
Shut up. He's just postponed
the case till after Christmas.
How'd you figure that?
Hypnotism.
The salesman showed her the bracelet...
...urged her to clasp it on her wrist...
...begged her to examine it
under a more powerful light...
...and then he excused himself.
Now, it's an old trick,
this tempting of the poor.
They say, 'Take it home and
wear it for a few days.'
They say, 'Drive it around this
afternoon, bring it back tomorrow.'
'Ha! Buy it all on your own terms!'
Consider the jewel scene between
Mephistopheles and Marguerite in "Faust"!
I hope he isn't gonna sing it.
The bracelet is under a powerful light.
The young girl stares at it.
Closer.
Closer.
The great central stone flashes
blindingly in her eyes...
...blue, green, purple, orange!
Suddenly, the colors are gone.
All is darkness.
Well, what is this?
Where is the shop?
Where is the light she was under?
What is she doing on 5th Avenue,
blocks away from Meyer & Company?
With a thrill of heart, she feels
at her wrist, not daring to look.
No doubt about it.
Then, panic!
She turns and hurries towards
the great jewelry store.
Will they believe her?
Fear turns her legs to lead.
One block, two blocks.
She goes blindly, moving into strangers
who think she must be crazy.
Six blocks. Ah, there at last
is the great jewelry store...
...its windows blazing with gems!
But no, the gems are gone...
...the windows almost bare.
With a sinking heart,
she tries the lock.
It's closed.
Meyer & Company have closed for the night.
Ain'tcha gonna do somethin'?
That jury's sold right now.
Shhh. Wait.
What was she to do?
What would you do, madam?
That's certainly a terrible spot to be in.
I-I suppose I...
The counsel will refrain from
questioning the jurors...
...and the jurors will
refrain from answering.
Never heard of such a thing.
I beg the Court and jury's pardon.
I was carried away.
What was she to do?
What was she to do?
Suddenly, an inspiration.
The telephone book!
S.A. Meyer & Company, S.A.
Meyer & Company, S...
S. A. Meyer must live somewhere,
but he doesn't seem to.
Maybe it's Long Island!
S.A. Meyer, S.A. Meyer, S--
Ah, here he is!
S.A. Meyer, 324 Woodmere
Road, Roslyn, Long Island.
I'll take the first train to Long Island.
I'll be there at dinner time.
He'll believe me. He's got to believe me!
He should've been on the stage.
He was.
But it takes money to go to Long Island.
Where will I get the money to go to Long
Island and tell Mr. Meyer what happened?
Then, a crazy idea. I'll hock the bracelet
to get the money to go to Long Island.
Quick, a hock shop!
Quick, Watson, the needle.
Ah, here we are. A
nice, cozy pawnbroker.
A friend of the poor.
May I get some money on this, please?
Well, well, I should say
you could, young woman.
Where did you get this piece?
Well, never mind where I got it.
I want some money on it quick.
Now, now, now, now, now, take it easy.
Everything is going to be all right.
Just step in, please.
A little further.
Bang! Lock that door while
I keep her in here!
Ooh, let me out of here!
Oh, you're gonna get it, all right.
Hello, get me the police department.
Hello, I've got the thief
what robbed Meyer & Company!
The defense rests.
The hypothesis of hypnotism
is a very interesting one.
Let me be the first to admit it.
But, unfortunately, I am no Svengali.
Nor are you, ladies and
gentlemen of the jury.
The People of the State of
New York will require...
...the expert testimony of Dr.
Keinmetz, the psychiatrist.
Who, I am sorry to say, is spending
his Christmas vacation in Florida.
Well, uh, what do you
want to do about this?
I object, Your Honor!
How can you object to something
he has not yet said?
Because I know what
he's going to say.
With your kind permission, counsel.
Since the defense counsel has interjected a
new element which was not testified to...
...the State asks permission
to reopen the case...
...for the purpose of allowing
the testimony of Dr. Keinmetz...
...and for the request of a
continuance to be granted...
...till after the Christmas
holidays when he will be available.
I object.
The defense has summed up, the
case is practically closed.
Objection overruled.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury...
...you are again admonished not
to converse among yourselves...
...nor with anyone else
connected with this trial.
Nor are you to form or express any
opinion concerning this case...
...until it is finally submitted to you.
The defendant will remain in custody
subject to giving a $5,000 bond.
All jurors, parties and witnesses in this
case are instructed to return to the Court...
...Tuesday, January 3rd, at 10 a.m.
Court is adjourned.
And, uh, a very merry Christmas to you all.
That was a dirty trick you played on me.
It means another day in court.
I'm not working for the State.
I have to earn my money.
No sense of humor.
Merry Christmas, Francis.
Boy, if that wasn't the neatest
fake reverse I ever saw...
Yeah, he fell for that one
like a horse down a coal hole.
A fine mess you've gotten me into. I thought
I was gonna be outta here for Christmas!
- Well, all you gotta do is post a bond.
- How can I post a bond?
I haven't any more money, and I
don't wanna spend Christmas in jail.
Please don't let them do that.
What do you mean, you
haven't got any more money?
What have I been talking
for, to hear my own voice?
If you hadn't talked so much,
I'd be out of here by now.
- What do you mean by that?
- Oh, hypnotism.
That gag's so old, it's got whiskers.
Please don't let them keep
me here over Christmas.
Well, what could you do if you were
out? You haven't got any money.
- I could walk around, couldn't I?
- It ain't gonna be as bad as all that.
- You'll get a nice little room and a nice--
- Yeah, yeah, never mind the build-up.
He thinks he's taking me to the Ritz.
I hope you have a merry Christmas.
On your way out, send Fat Mike in here.
Fat Mike, the bondsman?
If you know any other Fat
Mikes, you can send them, too.
I get it.
You don't, but let it pass.
- You wanna see me?
- Yeah. You got a match?
A match? Why, sure I got a match.
I got a flock of 'em.
I, uh, I, uh... Well,
whaddaya know about that?
I could've swore... I remember.
I gave 'em to Elmer.
- You know, he come to me and he says--
- Well, never mind.
How much would you charge for
5,000 bail till January 3rd?
- Did they pin somethin' on you, pal?
- No, no, it's not for me.
- It's for the young lady who was here today.
- Oh.
- How much?
- Well, for a friend of yours...
Not a red Samelka.
- I'm not asking any favors.
- Favors? Ha! It's a privilege.
- You still live in the same place?
- Yeah.
- How soon do you want her out?
- Right away.
She's out.
Thanks.
Oh, me...
- Uh, yassuh?
- Is the big boss in?
He's in but he ain't home.
Save that for your radio act.
Come on in. Just tell the big
boss that she's here, that's all.
With the compliments of Fat Mike.
You got that?
Y-Y-Yassuh, Mr. Mike.
Not Mr. Mike. Fat Mike.
Y-Y-Yassuh, Mister F-F-Fat Mi-Mike.
Okay, toots. I'll see ya in court.
W-W-Won't you sit down? Please?
Well, what's the matter now?
- She's here.
- Who's here?
- I don't know, sir.
- Then how do you know she's here?
- Well, I seed her come in.
- You seed who come in?
De lady?
- You mean there's a lady in the apartment?
- Yassuh.
What'd you let her in for? I told
you I wasn't home to anybody.
I told him dat, but he shoved
de door open anyhow...
...and pushed de lady on
in wid his compliments.
- Who did?
- Uh, Fat Ike?
Fat Ike? You mean Fat Mike?
Yassuh. He sho' ain't no Thin Ike.
- Oh. How do you do?
- Hello.
- What are you doing here?
- I dunno yet, but I've got a rough idea.
- Well, I'm glad you're out and--
- Now, what do I have to do for it?
Well, for one thing, you
might say 'Thank you'...
...but if that doesn't fit in
with your plans, just skip it.
- My motives in this matter--
- Scotch and soda?
Thanks.
One of these days one of you boys is going
to start one of these scenes differently...
... and one of us girls is going
to drop dead from surprise.
No doubt. Now, if you'll tell me--
I, uh... I suppose you do this
with all the lady prisoners?
Oh my, yes. My life is just
one long round of whoopee.
You're in a good spot for it.
Wonderful. I merely have to raise my finger
and my slightest whim is satisfied.
- Now, if you'll--
- And I suppose if anybody says no...
- ...you just put 'em right back in the cooler.
- That's right.
Look. When court reconvenes I'll try my best
to put you in jail for a good long time.
That's my business. But you
haven't been convicted yet...
...so I don't see why you shouldn't
enjoy Christmas like the rest of us.
- That's why I had Mike get you out.
- And bring me up here.
- I did not ask him to bring you up here.
- Then why did that gorilla bring me up here?
- Because he's got a mind like a sewer.
- Thanks.
Now, look. I'm very glad to have been
of service to you, but now if you'll--
You mean I don't have to stay
here if I don't want to?
You most certainly do not.
Then I'll stay.
- But I won't be forced.
- Hey, now wait a minute...
You know, there's nothing as
dangerous as a square shooter.
If all men were like you, there
wouldn't be any nice girls left.
Yeah. Well, all this is leading into a very
interesting and deep-dish discussion...
...which I haven't time
to pursue at the moment.
I'm leaving on a little trip and as it's quite a
drive and I haven't had my dinner yet, I--
- Oh. You mean you want me to go.
- Well, yes.
- Where?
- Where, what?
Well, after all, I was on my way
to a nice, comfortable jail...
...with three meals a day and
turkey for Christmas. And now I--
- Don't you live someplace?
- Nh-nh.
Well, where have you been living?
In a tree or something?
Oh, I had a room in a hotel,
but they locked me out.
Ah. And how much do
you owe at the hotel?
Um, a hundred and twenty-
six dollars and forty cents.
Oh. Well, that doesn't solve
any problems, does it?
Well, why don't you just put me back in the
clink? That'll solve a lot of problems.
I'm not sure that I can, and--
Well, that wasn't the idea.
- Have you had dinner?
- Not yet.
Well, come on, I'll buy you that
Christmas dinner I cheated you out of...
...and maybe we can figure out something.
Rufus, get my coat, will ya?
Yassuh, Mr. Sargent.
I'm just spreadin' y'all a few sandwiches, in
case you get hungry in de middle of de ride.
You really didn't want me
to come up here at all, then?
I'm sorry to say I did not.
Hot dawg! But don't forget
you gotta go see your maw.
Of course, I could lend you
my apartment while I'm away.
- That sounds like a play, doesn't it?
- Yeah. Sounds like a flop. No, thanks.
Oh, don't worry about me. I can always
chisel a hotel for a week or so.
That's a nice, cheesy idea.
Well, I'm not going to sleep in the subway.
And as far as the holiday is concerned...
...I guess I'll get plenty of that
when you get through with me.
Oh, uh, not that I mean it in a
disagreeable way, you understand?
- I understand.
- Your business is your business.
Of course, some people wouldn't
care for that kind of business...
...but, uh, somebody has
to do the dirty work.
It's just too bad it had to
be somebody as nice as you.
- How long have you been swiping things?
- Always.
- Did you ever get caught before?
- Mh-hm.
- Did you take things you didn't need?
- Sure.
In the presence of beautiful things, did
you have the sudden irresistible urge...
...to take them in your hands
and hurry away with them?
You mean, was I hypnotized?
- No, no, I mean, maybe you're a kleptomaniac.
- Oh, no. No. They tried that, though.
No. You see, to be a kleptomaniac, you
can't sell any of the stuff afterwards...
...or you'll lose your amateur standing.
You know, I can't understand it.
First you think it's heredity and...
...then you get some guy with several
generations of clergymen behind them.
I don't think you ever could understand
because your mind is different.
Right or wrong is the same
for everybody, you see...
...but the rights and the
wrongs aren't the same.
- Like, in China, they eat dogs.
- That's a lot of piffle.
- They do eat dogs!
- No, no, I mean your theory.
Oh. Well, um--
Try it like this.
- Supposing you were starving to death...
- Mh-hm.
...and you didn't have any food
and you didn't have any money...
...and you didn't have any
place to get anything...
...and there were some loaves of
bread out in front of a market.
Now, remember, you're starving to death.
And the man's back was turned.
Would you swipe one?
You bet I would.
That's because you're honest.
You see, I'd have a six-course dinner
at the table d'hte across the street...
...and then say I'd forgotten my purse.
Get the difference?
Yeah. Your way's smarter.
That's it. We're smart.
- Hello, Jack. How are you?
- Oh. Good evening.
I want you to meet my wife. My dear,
this is John Sargent and, uh--
- Oh, how do you do?
- How do you do? This is Miss Huh-huh.
I'm so sorry. I didn't
catch the name.
- Well, I'm--
- I'm so sorry, Jack, we must hurry...
I never thought of that.
Gee, you're sweet. You never
think of anything wrong, do you?
Now, let's have a nightcap,
and then I gotta get going.
A couple of B&Bs, and will you have
the band play "My Indiana Home"?
Yes, sir.
Here's that turkey dinner I owe you, and
a room, and a couple of breakfasts.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
You wouldn't wanna dance
with me again, would you?
Isn't that asking for trouble?
I mean I might step on your feet again.
A couple of more crunches aren't
going to hurt them at this stage.
- Why did you have them play this piece?
- Cause that's where I'm going.
- No! Are you a Hoosier?
- Sure. Wabash, Indiana.
- That is, a farm just outside of Wabash.
- Wabash, Indiana? No wonder I liked you.
- I'm from Eltonville.
- No!
- Why, that's only about 50 miles from Wabash.
- Yes, sir.
Well, I'll be darned. Think we had
to come here and meet like this.
- I go home every Christmas.
- You do?
My mother still runs the farm.
She does all right, too.
- Raises Partridge Wyandottes, Poland Chinas--
- Oh, we never had anything that swell.
We didn't either until just lately.
How long since you've been home?
Never.
Why?
I ran away.
I don't know what the
circumstances were, of course.
Not so hot.
Well, time takes care of those things.
Your folks write to you?
I had a letter from my
mother when my father died.
Your mother's alive, then?
I hope so.
Say, uh, how would you like
to go home for Christmas?
I can drop you off on the way and
pick you up on the way back.
Oh, gee.
Ah, they were working here last
year when I came through.
It says, to the right.
There it is, over that way!
Blairs Mills.
- Blairs Mills... Uh-huh.
- Blairs Mills?
- Blairs Mills... Blairs Mills...
- Bethlehem... Beallsville...
- Blairsville?
- No, that's not it.
- All right, C5.
- Blairs Mills, here it is.
- It's in Pennsylvania.
- Are we supposed to go through there?
Well, it's very close to where
we're supposed to go through.
That's what I was afraid of.
We better bear north a little.
- About, uh... half as far as my thumbnail.
- You let me know when we've gone that far.
- Where is north?
- Up this way.
- No, no, I mean from where we are.
- That way.
Why?
Well, we've been going that
way, so naturally, it--
- That way.
- Are you sure?
No.
Looks a little steep.
What do you think?
That way.
- Which way do you wanna try now?
- One looks as bad as the other.
Maybe we better just give
the whole thing up, huh?
Look out, there's an elephant!
- What the--!?
Why, it's a thrashing machine!
I haven't seen one for years.
- We're not getting very far, are we?
- Well, we're holding our own.
Hey, maybe we ought to take a snooze
and then try it again, huh?
Oh yes, I think that
would be a lovely idea.
- I could eat the hind leg off a cow.
- And I could eat the horns.
Rufus!
He's not very bright but he can cook.
Now, is this better than jail, or isn't it?
I'd almost forgotten I
was going to be in jail.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. The
whole purpose of the trip was to forget it.
Thank you.
Chicken, coleslaw, dill pickle, ham, Swiss
cheese... Something else I can't identify.
- That's the wax paper.
- Not bad, either.
- I hope my mother will be glad to see me.
- Of course she'll be glad to see you.
Yeah, I guess she will, all right.
- Ooh!
- What's the matter?
- Oooh, look who's here.
- Oh!
Well, good morning, Bossy.
Oh, we're surrounded.
Say, how would you like some
nice milk for breakfast?
- Would you still know how?
- Would I!
When I took up the law, Indiana lost
its finest milker in seven counties.
- You just watch me.
- What are you gonna put it in?
Well, there...
...doesn't seem to
be much choice now.
- Um, I can hold it.
- Oh, thanks.
Bossy, you stay that way.
I'll get around.
Yeah. That's pretty cute.
Um, you stay there, breakfast.
Say, what can I use for a stool?
I always used to have a stool.
Oh yeah, I'll tell you. You hold this,
and I'll go and sit on the running board.
Get her tail around. Come on, Bosbo...
over, Boss... over, Boss...
- Does she like to have her ears tickled?
- Yeah, I think so.
- Gimme the bottle.
- Don't you want me to hold it?
No, no. I'll hold it between my knees.
That's how I used to do it.
- Come on, get her around a little more.
- I'll try.
Come on over, Boss... come on...
come on... over...
- She doesn't seem to wanna go.
- Maybe I can do without sitting.
Now come on, Boss. All
we want is about a pint.
- How's it coming?
- Oh, fi--
- What did you say?
- She wants to be coaxed.
Hold still, Boss.
Oh there, that's fine.
Ugh.
What did you say?
- Are you getting any milk?
- Yeah, it's coming... fine.
Hey, don't let her move.
Push her back.
- I'm pushing as hard as I can.
- No, no, don't. Pull her back that way.
- Is that far enough?
- Yes, that's far enough.
Oh, you spilled the breakfast.
What'd you do that for? Now we'll
have to start all over again.
- Well, you pushed her around.
- Well--
- Look at your hat!
- What's the matter?
Oh...
Oh, that's not funny. That's the only
hat I've got that matches this dress.
Good morning.
What are you doing on my property?
Oh, we didn't know this was your property.
See, we got on a detour--
It's posted clear enough, ain't it?
Signed every hundred feet.
Can't you read?
Oh, you see, we happen to have got
here in the middle of the night--
- Yes, I noticed. You busted down my fence.
- Oh, I'll be glad to pay for it.
You'll pay for it all right.
Huh. You New Yorkers think you can
trespass on people's property...
...break down their fences, fool
around with their cattle...
...spend the night in their fields
with I don't know what kind of a--
Listen, you fresh hick--
- Save your language for the judge.
- Who's going to arrest us?
- You're under arrest now.
- Where's your warrant or badge of office?
Don't get cute. I'm a citizen of the
United States, and you're under arrest.
And if you think you ain't,
just try to get away.
- Can he do that?
- Unfortunately, he can.
- What'll we do? Walk?
- We'll ride. Open that rumble seat.
Open it yourself.
May I have your handkerchief, please?
Thank you.
- Right here!
- Don't give your right name.
- That's a good idea. Don't give yours, either.
- I never do.
- Did I get them cakes all right this morning?
- Fine.
- Looks like business, Clyde.
- Huh?
Well, I declare! If that
ain't a shotgun wedding...
No, that's Hank. He's probably
got a couple of trespassers.
With that new detour, he
gets 'em all the time.
Well, it's a pity he couldn't wait
till a body's had his breakfast.
I wanna see the Judge of the Peace.
Go on!
Kinda early, ain'tcha?
Good morning, Your Honor.
There seems to have been a little
misunderstanding here all around.
This, um... gentleman here
found my car in his field...
...and, naturally, he came to
the conclusion that--
What's the charge, Hank?
Trespassing on posted property, wanton
destruction of a fence, and petty larceny.
- No, that's not--
- What'd they steal?
They was milkin' one of my
cows when I caught 'em.
- Oh, only a little thermos bottle, that big.
- Nobody asked you anything, young woman.
When it comes your turn,
you can talk all you like.
- What's your name?
- Mary Smith.
Mary... Smith.
- Where do you live?
- Roaring Falls, Ohio.
Roaring... Falls... Ohio.
- Occupation?
- Bubble dancer.
Huh?
Bubble dancer. You know...!?
Whatever that is.
Bubble... dancer.
All right.
- What's your name?
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
New York, New York.
Henry... Wadsworth... Longfellow...
New York.
- Occupation?
- Steamfitter.
Steam...fitter.
All right. You plead
guilty or not guilty?
May it please Your Honor, I'm somewhat
familiar with the legal procedure...
- ...having at one time contemplated the law.
- Then you shouldn't have broken the law.
- It was an ignorance of the fact, Your Honor.
- Ignorance is no excuse.
I'm aware of that, and I'm also aware
of what a plea of 'not guilty' means...
...when made by non-residents of the state.
Ain't even married.
I don't know what you
mean by 'even married'.
You say 'even married' as though
married was the least people could be.
Some minor unimportant arrangement.
I appeal to your sense of chivalry, Your
Honor. I take it you're a married man...
...and that the charming lady who
opened the door was your, uh--
Spent the night in my field.
From out of the state.
My learned opponent here, I-I
mean that bug with a shotgun...
...is trying to inject into
this case an element of--
You plead guilty or not guilty?
- To what?
- It must be all kind of funny to you--
To trespass, destruction of private
property, and petty larceny.
- What'll you settle for?
- What will I settle for?
Did you ever hear of contempt of court
while you were studying the law?
I think I'll just remand you to the constable
and send you over to the county seat.
- Now w-wait a minute, Your--
- Wait, nothin'.
I was tryin' to give you a fair trial, but
when men drive girls over the state line...
...as you did, the matter's
worth investigatin'.
Also when they give funny names
like Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
You may think you're dealin' with rubes,
and I'm gonna give you the opportunity--
- Get some water! The house is on fire!
- Water! Water! Water!
It's only a waste bin. Come on!
How the ding-dang that
ever caught on fire?
- Now, where'd they go?
- Huh?
Well, I'll be god-darned!
Hey!
Hank, you'll break my window! Don't do it!
Hank, you'll break the windows!
You loon! There's the fire!
Well, that's that. On the way back I suppose
I'll have to duck around through Canada.
I guess that would be better.
Must feel kinda funny to you
to be a fugitive from justice.
Mh-hm. Very funny. You know, all
the way across Pennsylvania...
...I've been trying to figure out how that
fire got started. Nobody was smoking.
I was.
You were?
Did you throw anything in that basket?
Nothing but a match.
Um, a lighted match?
Oh, I guess there must've
been some life in it.
Did you throw it in there on purpose?
Well, I wasn't aiming for the spittoon.
I suppose you know that's called arson.
No!
I thought that was
when you bit somebody!
'Bit somebody'...
Well, it's better than
going to jail, isn't it?
I told you my mind worked differently.
Do you realize that house is
probably in flames a mile high?
Hope it is.
So do I, but what's that got to
do with the morals of the case?
What have morals got to do with it?
You treated me like your sister.
Here we are.
Oh.
Hasn't changed much.
- A new drugstore.
- Yeah, they creep in overnight.
That's where I went to my first dance.
- I went to my first dance in the firehouse.
- Oh, I've been to the firehouse, too.
- Do I keep on going straight ahead?
- No, you turn left at the next corner.
It's about a mile, the
other side of the tracks.
- I'm getting scared.
- Now, now.
Oh, please, let's wait till-- She
might not even live here anymore.
Now don't be nervous,
for heaven's sake.
- Will you go in with me?
- Sure I'll go in with you. Come on.
- See that tree?
- Mh-hm.
I fell out of it when I was twelve.
From that branch right there.
I was a terrible tomboy. If I had been
a man, I would have run away to sea.
I landed on my head.
Yeah? That's a better gag than hypnotism!
Why didn't your lawyer use that?
- I don't know.
- You should've had me for your lawyer.
Well. Here we are.
Come on, now. Smile.
Oh, I didn't mean to knock so loud.
That sounds like Mickey.
Don't suppose it is, though.
He'd be almo--
- Shut up!
- Somebody's coming.
Gee, you've been sweet.
Yes?
Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Doesn't Mrs.
Malone live here anymore?
I guess you mean my wife.
Mama! Somebody out
there wants to see ya.
Merry Christmas, mama.
Come in.
- Um, this is Mr.--
- Sargent. How do you do?
Sit down.
You're looking fine, mama.
What'd you come here for?
What do you want?
I don't want anything, mama. It was just
Christmas, and Mr. Sargent happened to be--
You see, I live just outside of
Wabash, and I knew you'd be glad--
- So he brought me with him.
- Glad? Why should I be glad?
Good riddance to bad rubbish,
I said the day she left.
- Oh, please, mama. Mr. Sargent--
- Just like her father, she is.
Always laughin' at serious things, she was.
Never doin' what she was told...
...till she winds up stealin'
as I always said she would.
Stealin' my mission money that I'd
put by with the sweat of my brow.
I didn't steal it.
I've told you a thousand
times I only borrowed it.
I was going to pay you
back out of what I'd earn!
But you didn't pay me back, did you?
You never paid me back!
And you never paid anybody else back!
How could I after you called me a
thief in front of the whole town?
Do you think anybody let me
work for them after that?
We weren't good enough for you. A decent
home and a hard-working mother...
...with a crook for a daughter.
I don't wanna rush you, but
we've still got 50 miles to go.
Don't you think we'd
better be on our way?
Thanks.
Bye, mama.
It's been very interesting
meeting you, Mrs.--
The name doesn't concern you.
It certainly does not.
Come on, now. It isn't as bad as that.
I'd forgotten how much
that woman hates me.
And how much I hate her.
That's a terrible thing
to say, isn't it?
Ever since I was little, she was always
so right and I was always so wrong.
She was always so good and
I was always so bad. She--
Thank you for getting me out.
I'll stay anywhere, only not here!
Not so close to her!
Hey...
I should have broken my neck
when I fell out of that tree.
It's a little late to think
about that now, isn't it?
- You won't make me stay in Eltonville?
- No, I won't.
- You'll find me a room someplace else?
- I will.
Oh, any old dump will do.
That's just what you're going to get.
It's only got one window, and the
mattress is stuffed with rocks, and...
...there's a painting of the cross-eyedest
old guy you ever saw in your life.
- How do you know?
- How do I know what?
That my grandfather was cross-eyed?
You mean you're--
You're taking me home with you?
Sure, why not?
Oh!
Hey, now what?
Where you want that fire laid,
Mrs. Sargent?
Land sakes, Willie, there is only
one fireplace on the second floor.
- Haven't you made that fire yet?
- No. They had me peelin' potatoes.
Emmy? I think those cookies are burning!
Oh, land sakes!
Lucy Sargent, those
cookies are not burning!
I declare it's enough to drive a body crazy
the way you carry on when Jack comes home.
I've never burnt anything as is--
Huh, there...
Shall I light the fire now, Mrs.
Sargent, or wait till he gets here?
- Well, does the room seem chilly, Willie?
- No, it don't seem chilly, Willie...
... chilly... to me, but...
...and the way everybody around this place
has been runnin' me ragged all day long...
- ...I doubt if I'd be chilly even in an--
- Ice pond.
Thank you, ma'am.
Now, see here, Willie Simms, if you don't
stop complaining, I declare I'll--
Well, I don't know what I'll do.
Here you are, getting a
lovely home with nothing...
- ...but a few cows and chickens to feed...
- And pigs.
- Oh, what are a few pigs?
- And mules.
Well, they don't need any care, and
instead of being grateful--
- And the bull.
- All right, the bull. But even though...
- Rabbits.
- Rabbits.
And ducks.
- There! There he is.
- And goats.
Emmy! He's here! Willie,
go down and open the door.
And don't forget the fire.
Bring in his bags.
Here. Give me the matches, and
I'll light the fire myself.
The matches! The matches!
The bags.
- Oh, gosh, oh!
- Hemlock!
- Here he is.
- Emmy, hurry up! Come on!
Oh boy, he's got a new car!
He's got a new car!
Jack!
I could hardly wait.
- Oh, I'm so glad you're here!
- How are you, mother?
Hello, Aunt Emmy!
I declare I'm glad you're here.
If only to keep your mother from
taking leave of her senses.
- For the last week this house has been--
- Oh, gosh!
Hiya, Willie. The girls still chasin' ya?
Why are you late? We expected you at six.
You didn't have an accident, did you?
- Well, no. You see--
- Who's that?
Mother, Aunt Emma, Willie...
This is Miss Lee Leander who's
come to spend Christmas with us.
Hello. I hope I won't
be too much trouble.
Trouble? Why, bless you, child,
it's a joy to have you here.
You might have sent a
telegram, John Sargent.
Grandpa's room hasn't been cleaned since
your aunt Clara was here for canning!
Why, Lucy Sargent, that's not so!
I had Willie in there just last week.
- Oh, gosh!
- It's as clean as a whistle.
Well, I doubt it.
Come along, my dear.
You must be freezing and here we are
standing like a couple of old hens.
- Did you forget the cookies in the oven?
- Oh, merciful heaven!
Be careful, Emmy!
Come on, dear.
- Oh boy.
- What?
Ain't she a peacherino?
- All I can say is... Hot dog!
- Here, take this.
Now, I may be wrong, but my aunt Emma is
probably the second best cook in the world.
Oh, how you talk, Jack.
Who's the first best?
There. That room is still far from
clean, Lee, but it's passable.
- Well, it was pretty passable before.
- Well, it's perfect now.
Oh, why did she make you do that? Why,
Willie could have done them so easily.
- Oh, Willie. Sure, Willie.
- Well, I liked doing them.
I've lived in hotels and--
Um... places so long I haven't been
around a house as much as I'd like to.
- Your folks dead?
- Willie!
My father's dead, my
mother's remarried.
Oh, I always say that's
so hard on the children.
No matter how nice the new parent
is, it just isn't the same.
I don't think it actually makes
the slightest difference.
- Annie!
- Well, I don't.
Well, come on, everybody.
Let's all go to the parlor now, and
we'll listen to Jack play the piano.
I took 14 dollars' worth of piano lessons
once, and they've never forgotten it.
- I can sing.
- Here you are.
And don't eat it all, we're gonna
string it for the Christmas tree.
- Lee, dear, you sit over here.
- Uh-huh.
- And, uh, Emmy?
- Hm?
- You sit over here.
- All right.
Oh, gimme the matches, Willie.
Till you've heard this,
you've heard nothing.
He really plays very well...
...when you consider
the size of his hands.
Bring the popcorn, Willie.
Play "Swanee River", Jack.
- "Swanee River"?
- And sing it.
All ready?
Cute, too, huh?
That's that.
- Oh, play one more piece now, Jack.
- Oh, get out of there.
- No, sir. Not till next year.
- Please, do. Just... just one more.
I don't know any more.
Oh, yes, you know, the Christmas
carol that I like so much? Now--
Ma, we got a guest!
Well, she'd like to hear it,
too, wouldn't you, Lee?
I can play a piece. I used to
play in the 10-cent store.
- Well, that'd be nice.
- I can sing "The End of a Perfect Day".
- Willie!
- Well, I can.
- Well, so can everybody else.
- Come on, Willie, sing.
All right.
Land sakes, child. You
wanna catch pneumonia?
There.
And I think you better have
a hot water bottle, too.
- You look a little peaked.
- Oh, I'm as strong as a horse.
Well, many a horse has
frizz in this weather.
- Mother?
- Yes, dear?
I don't know whether I should
tell you this or not...
...but I don't like to bring
somebody under your roof...
...without you knowing
exactly who she is.
- Oh, I think I can guess.
- What?
Oh, no, not at all. She isn't
even a friend of mine.
Why, I think she's charming. She reminds
me of your father's cousin, Winifred...
...who died when her second was born.
She was a sweet, lovely thing.
- I was just telling your aunt Emmy--
- Yes, she is charming, mother, but...
...unfortunately, she's a crook.
When I get back to New York, I'm
gonna try to put her in jail.
But in the meantime, she didn't have
any place to spend Christmas, so--
Oh, the poor lamb.
John Sa-- Why, you'll
do no such thing.
That girl's as honest as all outdoors. Why,
I can tell by just looking at her face.
If she did take anything, I'm
sure it was entirely by mistake.
She's... Well, she's probably a...
...hypochondriac.
She might be at that.
She didn't really take anything. You're
just making a bad joke, aren't you?
No, mother. I'm afraid it's
not even her first offense.
But that doesn't mean that she
wasn't unhappy, and lonely...
...and a human being
like the rest of us.
Oh, the poor thing.
She probably didn't get
enough love as a child.
Do you remember how ba--
Well, you weren't really bad but...
Do you remember when you took my egg-money
I was gonna buy a new dress with?
And then how how hard you worked to
pay it back when you did understand?
You made me understand.
No, dear. It was love
that made you understand.
I hope she's going to enjoy
her stay here with us.
We want to make her happy
and comfortable...
Oh, Jack!
Why, I haven't even started that
bottle you gave me last Christmas.
Oh, Hour of Ecstasy! That's the same
kind you gave her last Christmas!
It is? They told me
that was the latest.
Oh, I love it.
- Oh, isn't that pretty?
- That's the latest, too, Aunt Emmy.
Why, Jack Sargent, you oughta
be ashamed of yourself!
Willie? Here's something else.
Whoa! Oh boy.
Gee, I love Christmas!
Oh.
That's the latest, Willie.
Ah, you got it on backwards.
- No, no, Willie, this way.
- That's right.
But you got to yodel with it.
I'll practice up on that language.
Oh boy, that's snazzy!
Find a mirror...
- Jack from Mother, huh?
- Yes.
- Something to wear?
- You wait and see.
A sweater, huh?
Did you knit it yourself?
Oh, thanks, mother, that's swell.
- Do you like the color?
- Sure.
- Well, I hope it fits.
- Oh, it'll fit.
- Jack from Aunt Emma.
- Mh-hm.
Let's see...
Well, socks, huh?
Not so fancy but they
keep your feet warm.
Think they'll fit?
- I don't know.
- Thanks, Aunt Emmy.
I'm pretty lucky, huh?
You bet.
I'm sorry about the
present situation, but--
Uh, there's some other packages over there.
See who they're for.
Lee...
Seems you can always
depend on Santa Claus.
- Merry Christmas.
- Oh, no.
You shouldn't have gone
to all this trouble.
Come on, open them up right now.
Oh.
Oh, thank you.
It's so pretty.
Oh, it's really nothing at all.
Just made from some scraps and things
that I've accumulated through the years.
Well, it's lovely.
- Oh... Aunt Emma?
- Uh-huh.
Not so fancy, but they're
grand on a cold night...
...for a spinster lady.
Oh, that's awfully sweet of you.
- Who's that from, Willie?
- No.
Oh, why, you dunce. Can't
you remember anything?
Oh.
Oh, Hour of Ecstasy.
Yeah, that's the latest.
Mmmmm.
Mmmmm.
Oh, thank you.
You're all much too kind.
I've never met anyone
so thoughtful, so--
Oh, why, my dear,
it's nothing at all.
We're so happy to have you here and we're
so anxious for you to enjoy your stay.
There really isn't very
much for you to do...
...so you'll just have
to make the best of it.
Tonight, a few friends are coming and
we're gonna bob for apples, and then...
...tomorrow, the young people are gonna
have a treasure hunt in the snow...
... and the next day
we have a taffy pull.
And will that gum up the house.
Oh, shush. Won't amount
to a row of pins.
And the day after that, we
have the rummage sale...
...and the charity
buffet in the church.
A pretty girl like you
oughta be a big help.
Why, the men are so tight, we
almost have to pick their pock--
Well, I'll--
I'll do my best.
My specialty is short-changing them.
Emmy!
And then we rest up for a day.
And the day after that
is New Year's Eve.
This year, we're gonna have an
old-fashioned barn dance...
...like the hicks
we're supposed to be.
And that's all there is. Farmers'
wives don't die of boredom anymore...
...they die of heart failure!
Do you suppose they popped?
I'm positive they popped.
I wish I could be that sure.
You will be when I've told you the secret,
but you must never let it out of the family.
You see, you--
- No! Are you sure?
- Yes. Look for yourself.
Oh!
Good morning.
- Good morning.
- How's about some breakfast?
Holy smoke, popovers.
- And she made them entirely by herself.
- She did?
Well, bring 'em in.
What did you tell him that for?
Oh, don't you know the shortcut to a
man's heart is through his gizzard?
Here, take them in while they're hot.
There you are.
Go on! Hurry up.
Say, I didn't know you could cook.
Oh, I didn't make these,
she just said I did.
Ah. Why'd she say that?
Because she's taught
me how, but I--
Well, I guess she thought if
you thought I knew how...
...that would make
everything go faster.
Make what go faster?
You see, she thinks you brought me out
here because you're in love with me.
Ah.
- Funny, isn't it?
- Yeah.
Well, if you think I couldn't make a
popover as good as that, you're nuts!
Oh, Judge, would you buy
something at my table?
- I'll be back in just a minute.
- Oh, please.
- Now, now, just a minute, I'll be back.
- Judge, you must buy this beautiful...
I'll be back in just a minute.
Just a minute, I'll be back.
- Judge, how about a nice picture frame?
- I'm lookin' for my hat. A silk hat.
My wife sent it down here.
Richest, tightest man in town.
Come on, Emmy.
- Oh, Judge. Aunt Emma.
- Yes?
Mark down one armadillo
basket, the $7 size.
- Now, just a minute.
- Oh, that's all right.
- I'll tell you what you do.
- My dear miss--
We'll let you have it for $6, and you
can kiss Aunt Emma in the bargain.
Kiss Aunt Emma? Why, why,
why, this is outrageous!
- Four dollars change.
- Why, I-I--
- Oh, you'll love it.
- You'll love it.
- Three dollars change.
- Why, thi-- I protest again--
- Why, thi-- This is outrageous!
- Take it easy, Judge. It'll be all right.
- Thank you very much.
- Now, really, Mrs. Sargent.
I think that this joke
has got-- John Sargent!
Nobody's trying to force you to buy anything,
Judge. We just have to keep the odds--
John, I protest against it!
Now, John, I protest!
Wearin' pants to a dance! Huh!
You'll never land him that way.
Women belong in skirts.
It's the mystery that gets 'em.
Oh, I just thought these
would be easier to wear.
How big are you
around the waist?
Oh, I don't know.
25, 26, I guess.
Ha! When I was young,
we thought 19 was big.
Ni--? How could anybody be 19?
Well...
It takes a little pulling,
but it can be done.
Now let out your breath.
More. Come on!
Now...
One.
Two.
Three.
Now, how does that feel?
Oh, you'll get used to it.
The rest of us did.
Dingle sticks.
Now...
Tie that around your waist.
I never did have as much much front as
we were supposed to have in my day.
You didn't really wear all
these things, did you?
Of course we did. It's
just the beginning.
Oh.
Now, here's the corset cover.
Ain't passin' that up.
Here you go.
Oh...
Oh, it's beautiful.
Oh. Was that...
...your wedding dress?
I twiddled around with
the idea one summer.
I was all right again by fall.
Thank you, dear.
Lee! Aunt Emma!
Coming.
Coming.
Land of the living! The dance is not
gonna run away before we get there.
Well, I just didn't
want Lee to miss the--
Gosh.
- She's beautiful, isn't she?
- Yes.
They'd have awfully cute babies.
Why, Emmy. Jack isn't in love.
Where'd you get such an idea?
- Fiddlesticks.
- I tell you, they're not.
I'm not gonna tell you why or...
...or anything, but they-- Well,
they just can't be, that's all.
Emmy, you don't know
about these things and--
Mrs. Sargent! If you're referring
to the fact that I never married...
...I'd like to point out that
you don't have to be a horse...
...to judge a horse show.
If ever I saw two people
that were in love...
Almost over.
Gone quickly, hasn't it?
So quickly.
- If that isn't as plain as Pike's Peak.
- Oh, fiddlesticks.
You've all been so sweet.
No matter what happens
after we get back...
...it won't matter so much.
I'll have some wonderful memories.
Ladies and gentlemen!
I now have the honor...
...to wish you...
...a Happy New Year!
Good night, children. Sweet dreams.
I'll have your breakfast at 7.15.
What do you want? Flannel
cakes or fried mush?
Oh, I think we'd ride
better on the mush.
All right. Happy New Year.
- Good night, Emmy.
- Night, Lee.
- Night.
- Good night, Aunt Emmy.
Good night, dear.
- Get a good rest.
- Good night.
Thank you. Thank you for everything.
- Good night, Jack.
- Good night, Lee.
- Good night, son.
- Good night, mother.
The best of everything
to you this new year.
Thanks, mother.
- Good night.
- Good night, dear.
- You sleepy?
- Not very.
You wanna come in my room
and have a cigarette?
Be nice by the fire.
Well...
I'll be there in a minute.
Come in.
I'm sorry to disturb you, dear, but I know
how rushed you'll be tomorrow morning.
- Oh, you're not disturbing me.
- Thank you.
First, I wanted to tell you how glad
we are to have had you here with us.
And how much I hope you've
enjoyed your stay with us.
You'll never know how much.
And then I want to tell you how sorry
I am that you're in trouble...
...and how much I hope everything
will come out all right.
I didn't know you
knew about that.
You poor child.
I never would have mentioned
it to you now, only--
Well...
Did Jack ever tell you
anything about his childhood?
No, why?
We were very poor after my husband died.
In fact, we had nothing.
Jack had to do chores before school
and chores after school and...
...and when he was in high school, he
drove a delivery truck afternoons...
...to earn a little money.
Then, after chores, he studied
evenings to try to get into college.
He worked his way through college, and
he worked his way through law school.
Oh, I'm not trying to say that
there's anything unusual in that.
Thousands of boys are doing
the same thing this minute.
But I am trying to tell you how hard
he worked to get where he is today.
How very, very hard.
And I don't think that we should allow
anything to spoil it for him now.
I don't think why anything
should spoil it for him. Do you?
He's in love with you.
Oh, he isn't in love with me.
He's never had any more
interest in me than some...
...some panhandler
you buy a meal for.
- Are you sure?
- Of course I'm sure.
But he kissed you tonight.
Well, I--
I'm not exactly ugly.
Oh, he... he may have a
little fever for me, but...
...it isn't going
any further and...
...it hasn't been anyplace, either.
He's no fool.
And even if he was, I--
I wouldn't hurt him, or you...
...Aunt Emmy, or..
...even Willie.
Thank you, dear.
You do love him, though.
Don't you?
I'm afraid so.
Here's some of the cookies you made.
Don't forget how you made 'em.
Goodbye, mummy.
- Goodbye, Aunt Emmy.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Emmy.
- Goodbye, Willie.
- Goodbye, Willie.
- Oh, goodbye.
Goodbye and...
...thank you for everything.
I'll never forget it.
Oh, you're quite welcome, dear,
and come back whenever you can.
Now wrap up and
keep good and warm.
Drive carefully, son. Are you going
by way of Scranton or Pittsburgh?
- Through Canada!
- Oh!
- Goodbye!
- Goodbye!
Hey! Don't forget to write!
Don't you forget to chop some wood.
Now, Christmas is over.
Ain't it the truth...
- Have you anything to declare?
- No.
Oh, I got four Chinese and a barrel of
Cooley on the rumble seat, but that's all.
- Where are you from?
- United States.
- Where were you born?
- Indiana.
- Where are you from?
- The United States.
- Where were you born?
- Indiana.
And what is your reason
for going through Canada?
I'm a fugitive from justice.
You sound like a fugitive
from a nuthouse.
- Go ahead, sir. Go ahead.
- Thank you.
- You know something?
- What?
You're in Canada now.
What about it?
If you didn't wanna go back
tomorrow, I couldn't make ya.
Did you hear what I said?
I heard you.
Why didn't you come in for
that cigarette last night?
Oh, I... didn't feel like smoking.
I hope you don't bust out laughin'
when you look at me in court.
I won't feel much like laughing.
You know, it's funny that of all
the people in the courtroom...
...you were the only one that
seemed to have a heart.
- You'd think you'd be the last one.
- Don't give me any credit.
Played a fairly dirty trick on you and I
felt a little bad about it, that's all.
How did you play
me a dirty trick?
By having your case put over
till after the holidays...
...when I saw the jury was gonna
acquit you for Christmas.
Why, you dog!
Huh!
- That was pretty smart of you, all right.
- Part of the business.
Then when that fat slob got me out, it was
because your conscience was bothering you?
A little.
And all the time I
thought it was my legs.
I didn't even know
you were against me.
Oh, I-I knew you were supposed to be
tryin' to put me in jail or something...
...but I don't know, you...
you seemed so gentle.
That's part of the technique.
If you don't treat a
woman with kid gloves...
...every man on the jury wants
to punch you in the nose.
You have to handle them with kid gloves,
too, or you'll get it right in the verdict.
It's very hard to put a woman in
jail, no matter what she's done.
I'm supposed to be sort
of a specialist at it.
- No, you're not.
- Sure I am.
You're just trying to
make me hate you...
...so you won't feel so bad when you
give me the business, aren't you?
You are, aren't you?
I mean it.
- I wish you'd stop talking nonsense.
- It isn't nonsense.
I'm not a policeman. It's none of my
business whether you go back or not.
- Anyway, I haven't any money.
- You wouldn't have to worry about that.
Haw-haw!
I can just see the fizz on your fat friend
if he had to shell out that five grand.
- You don't have to worry about that, either.
- I can worry about it if I want to.
A fine district attorney you are!
You know I love you, don't you?
- Don't say that.
- Why shouldn't I say it?
Because some chiseling jeweler claims
you swiped one of his bracelets?
I did swipe it.
The jury will tell you
whether you took it or not.
He got it back, didn't he?
Anyway, what you did yesterday and what
you do today are two different things.
All the State wants you to do is
lay off other people's property.
Doesn't care how that
condition is arrived at.
Once you were with me, you
wouldn't pull any of that stuff.
- I might.
- I'd get your ears knocked down.
Please!
You love me, don't you, Lee?
No.
I suppose that's why you've looked
at me the way you have, huh?
Danced with me the way you did
and kissed me the way you did.
Why your hand has always found mine
and mine has always found yours...
...whenever they were
anywhere near each other.
Oh, don't be a sucker.
Naturally, you're a good-looking
man and I'm only human, but...
...everything you said about the State
not caring or my staying here...
...or how I'd be when we
were together is the bunk.
You've gotta remember how hard you
worked to get where you are...
...and how you drove a truck after
school and did the chores and--
My mother has been talking
to you, hasn't she?
Why shouldn't she? She's got
something to be proud of.
And you've gotta be proud
and think about it, too...
...instead of telling
people to jump bail and--
You know perfectly
well that we're--
Don't be unfair.
I love you, Lee.
It'll be awfully
hard to lose you.
- You know what I wish?
- No.
I wish the case was over
and you'd been acquitted.
- Then you shouldn't have had it postponed.
- That's true.
If I hadn't, I
wouldn't have met you.
That's true.
So the case is over and
you've been acquitted.
Knock wood.
- And I pull out a marriage license...
- Oh, gee.
...and we march right into the judge's
chambers and have him marry us.
You know you're talking like
a four-year-old, don't you?
You know where we're
going for our honeymoon?
- Where?
- Niagara Falls.
But we're there now, darling.
- You're crazy, Jack.
- Well, I thought it was all settled.
That was in Niagara Falls.
People aren't responsible for
what they say in Niagara Falls.
This is New York.
This is today and...
...this is different.
As my aunt Emmy would
say: 'Fiddlesticks'.
Well, it isn't fiddlesticks.
In the first place, there's no reason
why they should acquit me and...
...even if they did, I
wouldn't marry you.
Don't you love me anymore?
I never loved you.
- Were you just toying with me?
- Oh, shut up.
You'll have to develop more courtesy
and respect for your future husband...
...or I'll actually have to
resort to strong measures.
'A woman, a dog, a hickory tree,
The better you beat 'em, the better they be.'
Oh, quit it, will ya?
All right. What?
You know it isn't right, Jack.
Can't you see the papers? 'District
Attorney Marries Girl Crook'.
I'd only hurt you.
Don't you remember how the judge
acted when he saw us in that place?
Well, but you won't be a
crook, you'll be acquitted.
- How do you know?
- Well, I don't know, but...
... I think we've got a good chance.
You wouldn't do anything to
make them acquit me, would you?
What could I do?
That would be a fine thing!
Driver, stop on the next
corner, will ya, a minute?
We'd better not get out together.
That'd be pushing things too far.
- Good luck, honey.
- Thanks.
- Don't be unhappy.
- I'm not unhappy, I'm...
...all confused.
Everything's gonna
come out all right.
It's gotta come out all right.
Let me out in the middle
of the block, will you?
I tell you, I did see them.
Dancing in a caf, two hours after he
was prosecuting her in this very court.
And I tell you, you're mistaken.
That boy's dead on the level.
And if he weren't quite as honest as he is,
I'd say he had a big future in politics.
- Why, I stood as close to them as--
- You forget that you're an old man.
Your eyes aren't as good
as they used to be.
As it happens, I spoke to
him and he answered me.
Well, anybody would answer you.
That's only common politeness.
- I called him Jack.
- There are millions of people called Jack.
You haven't got a leg to stand on. You're
trying to make a case against this boy!
All ready, Your Honor.
Be right in.
So now I suppose you think
he's gonna throw the case?
Those are your words,
Henry, not mine.
I tell you, he wouldn't throw a case
if he were trying his own brother!
Not if you were in
court, he wouldn't.
- All right, then, I'll listen from here.
- That's all I wanted.
- That and your apology later.
- You'll get that in a pig's eye.
Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye!
The Court of General Sessions, Division of
the Supreme Court of New York County...
...is now in session. His
Honor, Judge Walker, presiding.
You heard Dr. Keinmetz describe
the condition known as...
- ...hypnoleptic catalepsy?
- Yes, sir.
Would you say that is the
condition you were in?
I guess so. Yes, sir.
That's all.
Just a moment, please,
Ms. Leander.
Now...
You said you were hypnotized when you left
the jewelry store and walked up 5th Avenue.
Didn't you?
- Well...
- Did you, or didn't you?
- Well, my lawyer said so.
- Your lawyer said so?
Are we to understand then
that you and your...
...lawyer do not agree
exactly as to what happened?
Don't answer that question!
I object, Your Honor.
The question is highly improper,
irrelevant, immaterial...
...and I ask it be
stricken from the record.
Sustained. The jury will
disregard the question.
Were you hypnotized,
or weren't you?
- Well, I suppose--
- We don't want your suppositions.
We want to know whether you
were hypnotized or not.
- Yes.
- Yes, what?
- I guess I was hypnotized.
- You guess you were hypnotized?
First you suppose you were hypnotized
and now you guess you were.
Kindly remember you're under oath, Ms.
Leander. Do you know the penalty for perjury?
- I object, Your Honor.
- Sustained.
Not so rough, Jack.
How many times have I told you,
when you're working with a woman--
Well, what's it? A guess
or a supposition?
- What's he getting so tough about?
- He's just naturally mean.
I sat on a murder case, and
they didn't get that rough.
Your Honor, these jurors
are gabbing again.
The jurors will cease whispering and give
their entire attention to the case at hand.
- Proceed.
- Ms. Leander...
Will you kindly tell us how
it feels to be... hypnotized?
- I object!
- Sustained.
How old were you when you
began to steal things?
- I object!
- Sustained.
- What's that got to do with this?
- Just trying to get her in wrong.
Your Honor, those
jurors are at it again.
Mr. Sargent. I am perfectly capable
of running this courtroom...
...without prompting from counsel.
If there's any more whispering among the
jurors, I'll hold the offenders in contempt.
Now proceed with this case.
How many times have you been
hypnotized by beautiful jewelry?
- I object!
- I guess quite a lot of times.
Please don't answer questions
after I've objected to them.
Objection sustained. The jury will
disregard the question and the answer.
Did you hear Dr. Keinmetz'
opinion about hypnotism?
Will you kindly answer my question and
not keep us waiting here all day?
Will you answer my question?
Your Honor, if the witness refuses
to answer my questions...
...there's nothing
more I can do.
Prisoner will please
answer counsel's question?
- May I lend you my handkerchief?
- Your Honor--
And kindly address your
answers to me over here.
- Your Honor, I won't plead--
- Your Honor...
...I don't believe this young lady is well.
I think a five-minute recess would be...
- But I want to be guilty!
-...sufficient for her recovery.
- I'm undoubtedly responsible for having--
- Please, Jack.
Your Honor!
I just wanna plead guilty!
If Your Honor would kindly
grant a five-minute recess...
My child, why do you
want to plead guilty?
Because I am guilty.
And when you make a mistake,
you've got to pay for it.
Otherwise you never learn.
Your Honor, it must be apparent
this is not normal conduct.
Quite apparent, and the State has
no wish to take advantage...
-...of a temporary aberration, a stupid--
- There's nothing temporary about this.
You can see that I'm in
my right mind, can you?
Well, in that case, there's
nothing more to be said.
The Court at this time will...
...set next Friday, January 6th, 10 a.m.
as time for passing sentence.
Prisoner is remanded to the city jail.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Jury is dismissed.
Well?
I don't know.
Wait up!
Do you know what you've done?
Do you realize it can't be undone?
You understand there's no appeal? No
retrial, no mistrial? Nothing but jail?
- How long will I get?
- How do I know?
Maybe you won't get very long...
...but if you'd kept your trap shut,
you wouldn't have to go at all.
There wasn't anything else to do.
Don't you see?
You're so strong, and you
argue so well, and I--
I love you so much.
You certainly proved that.
I'd always do what you wanted,
even if it wasn't good for you.
I'd never have a chance against you,
and you'd never have a chance with me.
Like... like just now when you
were trying to lose the case.
- Aren't you ashamed?
- Oh, hogwash.
Oh, I know what you
were trying to do.
Save little Willie's career
from the bad, bad woman.
You poor sap! Don't you think I'm the
best judge of what's good for me...
...and what I want most in this world?
No.
And when you were making
your grand gesture...
...did you stop to think how
much you were hurting me?
Do you think I'm gonna stop
loving you just because they...
...lock you up with a bunch of hikers
and hopheads for a few years?
- I'm not much better.
- You're good enough for me.
Will you...
...come and see me sometime?
Come and see you?
I'm going to send for the judge
and marry you right now.
Oh...
But...
...thank you just the same.
If you still wanted
me afterwards...
...I'd be all square.
And you would've had plenty
of time to think things over.
Lots of things.
Will you--
Will you stand beside me and...
...hold my hand when
they sentence me?
Of course I will.
I won't be afraid.
I love you so.