He's ahead of the field, blazing in.
Lakers by seven!
This is Marv Albert from the Forum in LA.
And the Knicks in big trouble
as they move to the front court.
Going from right to left
Cummings takes the one-bounce.
A flip for King. It's batted away!
Magic Johnson on the steal!
He's down the left side and goes baseline!
He's trapped! Throws back out.
To Worthy. A head-fake,
now the jumper. It is good!
Only 10 seconds left.
The Lakers are burying the Knicks!
The Knicks have come back from the dead
before, but not tonight!
2L-16, Tack 2.
Come in, 2L-16.
Respond, 2L-16.
Sergeant Leary says to remind you,
you owe him $50 on tonight's game.
And that he'd be happy to take
your money on the Knicks anytime.
Come on!
Give it to him!
Where is it?
Give me what's mine, you understand?
It's mine and I want it now!
Look at this! Look what I found.
This is mine, baby.
Freeze!
All right, hands out of your pockets,
away from your body.
Suck wall!
Get your feet back. Back! And spread them!
All right, wider! I said, wider!
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
picking on a guy half your size.
- Nice shot, kid!
- Good shot, Joey.
Hit him!
Don't move.
Don't even breathe.
We have come to mourn and honor
not only the passing of a friend...
but of a fine police officer.
An officer who was an example to us all.
Samuel Edward Makin died as he lived...
defending the American way.
That is why I feel more pride than sorrow.
For Samuel Makin made
the ultimate sacrifice.
He did so willingly...
and no man can hope to do more.
His body may be returned to the earth...
but his spirit will live forever.
We, your fellow officers...
salute you, Sam.
Your duty done...
may you rest in peace.
Ready...
aim, fire!
I was shaving you.
Where am I?
Now don't worry.
Everything's going to be just fine.
That's not me!
What the hell have you done to me?
We did some work on you.
Just your face. Thank you, Nurse.
You'd better have had a damn good reason.
We did.
You were ugly.
Who's we?
You've been recruited
by an organization that doesn't exist.
Sam Makin is dead, pal.
Some nasty man shoved him
and his police cruiser into the East River.
I'm a pretty healthy corpse.
The operative word is "corpse."
You've got a new face, new fingerprints,
even a new name.
Williams...
Remo Williams.
A lot of thought went into it.
We needed someone,
and you were the best we could find.
Decorated cop, ex-Marine,
no family, no commitments.
If I'm the best you can find,
you're in pretty deep shit, pal.
Who the hell are you, anyway?
FBI? CIA? Salvation Army?
Who we are, are the people
who got you by the balls, Remo.
Besides, we need you.
Our cops are corrupt, our judges
are bought, our politicians are up for sale.
Everywhere you look, slime is on the loose.
You're going to be
the Eleventh Commandment.
"Thou shalt not get away with it."
You're the guy that set me up
in that warehouse, ain't you?
Nice job.
The name's MacCleary.
We'll get to know each other.
Enjoy the fruit...
Remo.
Jeez!
There you go, Mr. Mossler.
Soon you're gonna be
as snug as a little old bug in a rug.
Where the hell are you going
with my ambulance?
Turn left at the next intersection...
Remo.
Don't get any cute ideas, Remo.
"National Bank"?
- What, are you opening an account for me?
- Let's go.
What do these things do?
Keep track of your wardrobe?
I thought they figured out a way
to make them smaller.
These are the smaller ones.
- Come in, Mr...
- Williams, Remo Williams.
Good evening, Mr. Williams.
I'm Harold Smith. I'm the head
of the organization that just recruited you.
You call dumping me in the river
and reshuffling my face recruitment?
Yep. It works. Sit down.
Come on, my boy.
I know your ribs are hurting
like a son of a bitch.
Now sit down a minute.
Make yourself comfortable.
I'll tell you a little bit
about the way we work here.
Yeah, I've seen how you work.
You run black-bag operations,
you kidnap people.
You beat them up,
and nobody holds you accountable.
We're accountable, Mr. Williams.
- Let me guess. To the President.
- Yep.
And five of them before him.
I've lost track. I don't even vote anymore.
Sorry to disappoint you.
I'm voting with my feet.
Now you want to sit down?
I'm only going to say this once.
This is a wonderful country...
but our legal system doesn't work
the way it's supposed to.
I'm talking about people
who roam the halls of power with impunity.
Who corrupt and subvert the very principles
our constitution exists to uphold.
Your friend already gave me
the Gettysburg Address.
Has he?
Here's another one.
"Guard, protect and cherish your land...
"for there is no afterlife
for a place that started out as Heaven."
Charles M. Russell, Montana, 1926.
1926?
That's ancient history, Dad.
The computer said you were a smart-ass.
And you never heard of computer error?
Not this one.
Take a look at that innocent little box,
my boy.
It's hooked to all those
computers you saw downstairs.
Every scrap of processed information
in the United States comes through here.
If it's out there, I can find it.
It helps us keep track of the bad guys.
I can find out the temperature of your ass
in that chair, if I really want to know.
But it won't do everything.
And that's why we got you here,
Mr. Williams.
You're going to help remove
some of the filth in there.
I like that. That's nice.
It's a lot nicer than "kill," or "destroy,"
or "terminate with extreme prejudice."
That's what you're really talking about,
isn't it?
I think he's got it, Mr. Smith.
That's exactly what we're talking about,
Mr. Williams.
Suppose I say no?
Then you're a dead son of a bitch.
And we already got a coffin.
How big is this organization?
Just the three of us.
Mac here
will get you cleaned up and briefed.
You start work Monday night, Mr. Williams.
Here we are.
Nice pad.
First hit. No big deal. You'll get used to it.
Nothing like throwing in a man
at the deep end.
What's this guy done that's so special?
Come on, Remo, we run
on a need-to-know basis. You know that.
Don't take any chances. This guy's a killer.
Remember...
in, out, like a duck mating.
- Where are you gonna be?
- Right behind you.
How do you open this?
Speak English?
Does a nightingale sing?
Yeah...
- How do you get out of here?
- The same way you came in.
No good.
There's a guy outside
who wants me to knock off your boss.
I am here alone.
There is no one upstairs.
Okay, now look, let's not make
any trouble for each other.
All I wanna do is to get out of here.
It is too late for that.
Hold it! I don't want to kill you,
but I will if I have to.
I'll show you chop-socky,
you sawed-off little runt.
Chiun, what do you think?
He is very slow.
His reflexes are pitiful.
Poorly coordinated.
He is in wretched physical condition.
Impetuous.
And clumsy.
He moves like a baboon with two club feet.
However...
there is a feeble glint of promise in his eyes.
I think I can do something with him.
Good.
George S. Grove.
Born Albany, New York, May 10, 1933.
BA, Electrical Engineering, Parkson College.
Served two tours, supply sergeant,
Korean conflict.
In 1962, founded Grove Industries...
Advanced Weapons Technology.
Current projects:
CD-18 surface-to-air missile.
HARP. High Altitude Reconnaissance Probe.
Prototype for the Star Wars program.
Investigation, corporate tax evasion, 1979.
No charges filed.
1981. Suspected bribery.
Procurement, defense contracts.
After the disappearance of
Investigating Officer Murray Benton...
no charges filed.
There were three witnesses
alleged to have seen the murder of Benton.
No charges were filed for lack of evidence.
They disappeared, too.
If the Company can't get anything on Grove,
then you know he's good.
All I can promise is terror for breakfast...
pressure for lunch,
and aggravation for sleep.
Your vacations will be two minutes
when you're not looking over your shoulder.
If you live to draw a pension,
it'll be a miracle.
Are there any disadvantages?
Hell, I'm lucky I've lasted this long.
Tell me something, MacCleary.
- Can you dodge bullets?
- Nowadays, only if they come real slow.
Do I really have to live with him?
Chiun's probably
not crazy about the idea either.
He says you smell like hamburgers.
Top floor.
See you.
MacCleary.
If this turns out to be another set up,
you won't live to collect a pension.
I personally guarantee it.
Didn't I tell you,
we don't use that bang-bang stuff.
Your mind and your body
become your weapon.
That's what your new pal Chiun
is going to teach you.
Okay, so you caught me
with a couple of lucky shots.
But I got to hand it to you,
that bullet-dodging number wasn't bad.
I like the little thing you did with the gun.
You move like a pregnant yak.
Sit.
- Breathe.
- Breathe?
- Come on, you got to...
- Silence!
The fool chatters
but it is the wise man that listens.
Breathe.
Wait, is this the kind of training
where we sit around for 10 years...
and you tell me I'm big enough
to break a brick with my big toe?
You have come into the care of Chiun...
Master of Sinanju.
Sinanju is a village in Korea...
where all the fighting arts were born.
Kung fu, karate...
ninjitsu.
They are all but shadows.
Sinanju is the sun.
Most intelligent people know this already.
But it is apparent to me that you know
less than nothing. Pay attention.
You did not ask to be white,
so perhaps that is not your fault.
You did not ask to be here.
Perhaps that is not your fault, either.
So let us make this pact.
I will train you for your first service.
And then, I will return to my country.
Pressure. Nerve ends.
Sinanju.
Technique developed
since the birth of time...
by the most gifted race on Earth.
You always talk
like a Chinese fortune cookie?
Chinese!
The Korean is the most perfect creature...
ever to sanctify the earth
with the imprint of his foot.
Now we will breathe.
Breathe out...
slowly.
Do not gulp.
If you do not breathe correctly,
you do not move correctly.
Pitiful.
I can see the deadly hamburger
has done its evil work.
We must sweat the poison from your body...
and rebuild from the inside.
Now, we will proceed to lesson number two.
Follow, please.
What are you waiting for? Applause?
Midtown. 44th Street.
You are afraid.
Fear is nothing more than a feeling.
You feel hot, you feel hungry,
you feel angry, you feel afraid.
Fear can never kill you.
Purge your mind of fear
and believe in yourself.
Without that belief,
I can do nothing with you.
Now we will do it again.
But faster.
Grove High Altitude Reconnaissance Probe.
Program originally projected: $758 million.
Final assembly of prototype: $986 million.
Estimated cost at time of commission:
$1.22 billion.
These figures are in 1983 dollars.
The Prototype...
Currently, our friend Grove
is playing the D.C. charity circuit.
Big donor.
He's also big with the Star Wars crowd.
And he ought to be.
Half of them are on his payroll.
He's good. Real good.
No more Boy Scouts.
Yes, George.
This is interesting.
Someone's trying to enter a circuit
I had marked for special surveillance.
I wonder who the intruder is.
- What's the matter?
- I can't get what I'm looking for.
I hate to hear you say that.
Why should the HARP D.B.A. Cost-62
be restricted?
Maybe you've got cold hands.
Allow me.
See?
Do I sense frustration?
I'll bet you've had
a lot of experience with that.
If I continue to stroke these little keys here...
You might stunt your growth.
No, Lieutenant,
I'll seek satisfaction elsewhere.
Come in.
- Major Fleming.
- General, I have a problem.
The computer is classifying cost overruns
within the HARP database.
- You know what I think about computers.
- Sir, it's not a malfunction.
Maybe it hasn't been entered yet.
They're entered and available,
otherwise access would not be denied.
General, I'm the senior W.C.A.,
I should have access to that information.
There's no reason for it to be withheld.
Right. We do have a problem.
Just let me have a full report.
It'll be on your desk tonight, and, sir...
I really would appreciate action
by the time I return from Fort Baxter.
- Fort Baxter?
- The AR-60 test.
Grove infantry assault rifle.
Of course. The AR-60. You have a job to do.
But, Rayner,
let me give you a word of advice.
Never feel you have to overdo it.
You know what I mean?
It makes no difference to me
that you're a woman.
That's good news, sir.
If it's any reassurance, it makes
no difference to me that you're a man.
All right, what have you done with the food?
A Korean fingerboard.
What are you staring at?
- You can't see.
- I can see.
Then what're you wearing those for?
I wear glasses so that I may see more.
A Korean fingerboard.
Begin tapping your fingers.
Slowly at first and then increasing the force.
With time, your nails will become hard,
your fingers strong.
They will be able to do more than
just carry food to your face.
- They will become a trained weapon.
- Trained to kill?
Not kill. A truck kill.
Meat of cow, kill.
American assassins kill...
like butchers.
Masters of Sinanju, since the dawn of time...
have killed to promote harmony...
and to bring about a more peaceful humor
to the entire community.
We have done this throughout history.
For example...
Genghis Khan...
the Persian boy, Alexander...
- Robin Hood.
- Robin Hood?
A bandit. Louis Xlll. Napoleon.
Come on, Napoleon died in his bed.
Wrong.
All of them perfect assassinations.
You make it sound like a public service.
Professional assassination...
is the highest form of public service.
So I will persevere.
I have taken the Emperor Smith's gold.
And a Korean's word is his bond.
Place your hands behind your head.
I did not say keep them there.
Your reflexes are pitiful.
The seasons move faster.
No doubt, the result of all that filthy poison
you have been stuffing into your belly.
Do you know why
Americans call it fast food?
Because it speeds them
on the way to the grave.
As I feared, you have no sense of humor.
From now on, you will eat rice.
Eat rice and play with my fingerboard.
Great!
Keep it near you at all times.
Hang it on a wall.
How?
Find a nail.
- Good morning, Jim.
- Hi, Doc.
- How're you feeling this morning?
- Hey, never better.
Coach Jenkins came by last night.
He told me
that they're saving my place on the team.
When I'm out of here in a couple of weeks,
I'm going right back on that squad.
What's the matter, Doc?
I'm sorry, Jim. I've got to level with you.
The leg has got to come off.
No!
I was gonna be an all-American.
Well, now...
you can be all-American for courage.
Doctor, does Linda know?
There's something else
I've got to tell you, Jim.
What are you watching?
Your country's
one and only contribution to the art.
It concern family...
Iove, honor, and courage.
All that is noblest in the human spirit.
It's a soap opera, for Christ's sakes.
You'll spoil it.
It's pre-spoiled.
Look, it's 8:00 and I haven't eaten all day.
One minute to 8:00.
The trained mind does not need a watch.
Watches are a confidence trick
invented by the Swiss.
You would be better employed
developing your pitiful skills...
than whining about your belly.
Remember, perfection is a road...
- not a destination.
- I love it when you talk like that.
And I would love it if you would
kindly concentrate on your practice.
Keep the weight off your toes.
Every man is occasionally blessed with luck.
Now, down.
My pleasure. Down is easy.
What happened?
You rely on what you know,
not what you see.
What is your problem?
Pathetic.
Come on, it's only water. It won't bite you.
Move it.
I said, move it.
- Everything okay?
- Yeah, sure.
That's it, Damico, hide behind a leaf.
No one will find you there.
Don't just stand there!
Get down there and help Johnson!
Radio the base and get an ambulance
out here, on the double.
Yes, sir.
Hoffa, what the hell are you doing?
Break out your first-aid kit. Now.
About this new weapon, sir.
I want to tell you something.
- It's useless, sir!
- You're way out of line, soldier!
- Sergeant!
- Sir!
Assemble the company.
I want a weapons check.
Yes, sir.
Sergeant, I want your report
on my desk by 16:00!
Sir, we've got over 120 AR-60s
in this company!
You heard what I said. Get to it.
Yes.
General Watson.
Good morning, General.
We've got a problem, George.
I'm sure you can handle it, General.
A soldier's been killed by your new AR-60.
That's what they get paid for.
It blew up in his face.
I've got the report right here on my desk.
There'll have to be an inquiry.
Scott.
Scott, I suggest you lose that report.
I can't do that.
Listen to me, Watson.
Uncle Sam gave you your uniform.
Just about everything else you got from me.
Bury that report.
Thank you, General.
There's too many idiots
like him on the payroll.
Breathe.
Use the air.
Do not waste it.
- Relax.
- Relax.
Will you hang there all day...
or may we continue the exercise, please?
- Jesus.
- Concentrate! This is no time for prayer!
You are not here to sightsee.
That's it, kids. Lady Luck is watching you.
She's got her eyes on you.
She hasn't got all day. She's waiting
for a crap game in Bensonhurst.
Here we are, folks.
Seven hoops a dollar.
Everyone a winner. Sir!
You want to make
your grandchildren happy?
Drop a hoop on a bottle, win a prize...
and you're gonna see
their little faces light up.
And your money back, Gramps.
If you can tell me where you can buy
one of these genuine...
handmade Taiwanese beauties.
Just remember, I won it. He's mine.
So, if you will excuse me,
young Dr. Hastings...
I must get up to the theater and scrub up.
It's a dangerous operation.
It's never been tried before.
I promised that boy he's going to walk,
and he's going to walk!
Don't do it. If you fail,
it could mean a malpractice suit.
Think of your professional reputation.
That boy means more to me than
all of my professional awards combined.
- There's only one thing that worries me.
- What's that?
Whether his stepmother
will permit the operation.
You see...
she's my ex-wife.
Where's Jim?
- You shouldn't be here.
- I said where's Jim?
Miss, I'm sorry. You'll have to leave.
Nobody is going to stop me
from seeing my fianc.
- What did you say?
- Jim and I are engaged.
Tune in at the same time tomorrow...
for our continuing saga
of Beyond the Night.
Brought to you by Continental Airlines,
a new tradition in flying.
Jim is leaving the hospital.
Great.
- He's going to his mother's funeral.
- That's tough.
- But I think the nurse likes him.
- That's good.
However, there seems to be
some complication with the stepmother.
It would be better for you
to eat this can than what is inside of it.
Why must everything in this country
be covered with...
"Monosodium glutamate."
You can't even say it.
I can say "rat droppings."
It does not mean I want to eat them.
Tomorrow, if you work well, you may have
a teaspoon full of honey in your rice.
But I make no promises.
You heard the sound of my flexor tendons
as I squeezed the trigger.
And I saw the flutter of your metacarpals.
Not bad.
That's two bullets. Child's play.
When you can avoid six bullets,
then you will have accomplished something.
No rice.
No rice?
You forgot the rice.
Maybe we can grow some.
Maybe you will spare me
your feeble attempts at humor...
and save them for the shopkeeper
at the corner.
He has excellent Chung-ju rice.
You used the other four yesterday.
I reloaded.
With all due respect to the Major...
at this point in time, Ms. Fleming,
cost overruns are immaterial.
The Air Force cannot evaluate
HARP until HARP flies.
Exactly my point. Mr. Chairman...
if I may be permitted
to ask Mr. Grove a question.
When can we expect to see the HARP?
I can't believe what I'm hearing here today.
I've devoted my life
to developing better ways...
to defend this great country of ours.
I never raised the subject
of your patriotism, Mr. Grove.
I should damn well hope not.
If we could get back to the question at hand.
What about the CD-18, Major?
Three months ahead of schedule
and under budget.
Ready for testing next week.
Mount Promise. I know.
General Watson and I will be there.
I'm impressed. This girl's got a lot of guts.
- Who?
- Major Fleming.
She's the one
who tried to tap into the Grove circuit.
If she's not careful,
she'll wind up with her ass in a sling.
She's coming in to New York.
Maybe you'd better slow her down a bit.
Every time she mentions HARP,
our man Grove begins to get an itch.
I wonder why?
I want that bitch put on a very short leash.
Should be right up your alley, Stone.
Pick up your feet.
Float.
Float.
Congratulations, Chiun.
Bearing in mind
that nature snubbed him cruelly...
by denying him Korean birth...
I am not entirely dissatisfied.
- When will he be ready?
- Ahead of time, I think.
Excellent.
That means?
- Fifteen years.
- Fifteen years?
If I cut a few corners, 14 and a half.
Chiun, I need to borrow him for a while.
- Emily, Jim's your son.
- I'm only his stepmother.
But Margaret told me something
just before she died.
What's that?
Jim's your son, too.
Is it painful?
I was singing an old Korean love song.
The race must be practically extinct.
Chiun, do you mind if I ask you something?
- Two more minutes.
- No, I mean...
how old are you? You are old, aren't you?
For an apricot, yes.
For a head of lettuce, even more so.
But for a mountain,
I am not even begun in years.
For a man, I am just right.
Now I know, don't I?
You ever been married?
I am the Master of Sinanju.
No women. Vows of celibacy. Eunuch.
That sort of stuff?
You are trying to say something?
No, just...
What I'm saying is I've been cooped up
in this rat hole for a whole month...
- working my...
- Sex.
Yeah, sex! Now you're cooking.
Maybe it's the breathing and the rice...
Lesson 36.
The 20 steps designed
to bring a woman to sexual ecstasy.
Though I personally have rarely found
it necessary to go beyond seven...
to achieve bliss.
Go on, I'm listening.
With the left hand,
you locate the woman's pulse.
Then, with the middle finger...
and tapping in time with the pulse...
Then what?
Then you may put the rice in the bowl
and we may eat.
What was the number
of the lesson this morning?
Wasn't 36, I know that.
You would call it "four."
I would call it "embarrassing."
You know, Chiun,
there are times when I really like you.
Of course. I am Chiun.
- Then there are times when I could kill you.
- Good!
We will practice that after dinner!
Major Fleming?
Colonel Gayber is expecting you.
Major Fleming, sir.
Hello, Major.
I have the documents you requested.
- Hi.
- Hi.
That's a nice uniform.
Great buttons.
Buttons?
Taxi! Taxi! Oh, hell.
You can never get one when you want one.
Taxi!
Let me do this.
Looks like you got your hands full.
Thanks very much for your help
but I think I'll walk.
- Got a problem, buddy?
- Get out of the way.
Am I keeping you from something?
If you're in a hurry,
all you got to do is say so.
People here in New York have manners.
They don't lean on their horns.
Jesus! Who's your dentist? Tiffany's?
Excuse me. What are you doing to that boy?
Unnecessary use of the horn, Officer.
I'll be unnecessary use of my nightstick
on your thick skull if you don't let him go.
Whatever happened to police courtesy
and that kind of stuff?
We save that bullshit for the
Upper East Side. I'll kick your white ass...
all up and down this street if you don't stop
kung-fuing that man's throat. Move it!
Yes, sir, ma'am. Anything you say.
You're just doing your duty.
I'm just a simple law-abiding citizen, Officer.
I said move it.
I don't like it, George. I don't like it at all.
Have you seen these photos Stone took?
We've got one phony-bird colonel
playing footsies...
with one little Miss Know-lt-All...
who's dodging tails
with one faceless wonder...
who's so anonymous
he doesn't have any record or fingerprints.
They're throwing some secret fraud-squad
at us and we're fishing in the dark.
Obviously, but before I can shut them down
I need to know who they are.
Shake some trees, see who falls out.
Shaken every tree I can find.
Came up empty.
Of course.
You haven't played hard ball,
like we did in Tennessee.
Let's give them a body. See who claims it.
Start with him.
Couldn't we skip this lesson
and move on a bit?
Say, to lesson number 36?
Silence! The Emperor Smith
is disgusted with your progress.
I've told you, he's not an Emperor.
Enough! You are using only a fraction...
of the power in your body and your brain.
Sinanju uses it all.
That is its sole secret...
its only strength.
You are here to conquer
your childish fear of heights.
When you have done so,
we shall meet below...
and start another exercise.
27, 28, 29, 30.
You got it, mister.
No problem.
- Falling off a log.
- I'll take mine now, Frankie.
What are you guys, crazy?
- You got no right up here, mister.
- Authorized personnel only.
- That's to prevent accidents.
- Suicide, that kind of thing.
Look, I'm coming down, all right?
You sure are. The short way.
End of the line, pal.
He's coming your way!
I got him.
Come on, get him now!
I rather enjoyed that.
Yeah. Eight and a half gainer
with a full twist.
Your people did a good job.
All right. Let's get out of here.
Okay, guys. It's Miller time.
I tried to grab him. He must have slipped.
Yeah, I saw that.
He's falling down.
- Terrible.
- It's a tragedy.
What the hell is going on?
Bastard!
He's behind you!
Get him.
Wait, man. I didn't do nothing.
You can't come over here!
- Look out, buddy.
- Who is he?
- No!
- Don't go in there!
That's new cement!
Mac, I could tell you what George Grove
had for lunch every day this month.
But I can't find out
a goddamn thing about HARP.
How do you suppose he managed
that little trick?
Good. I'm glad you're both here. 'Cause
we're gonna straighten something out.
I just spent the morning being chased
around the Statue of Liberty by goons.
What were you doing
on the Statue of Liberty?
Chasing pigeons. It's not the point.
They were trying to kill me.
Who?
A friend of the Tiffany tooth. That's who.
Will somebody tell me
what the hell's going on?
- lf he's onto Remo, he's onto us.
- Who's "he"?
Why don't we take him out
before he gets any closer?
No.
I can't do that.
I need more to go on.
Those guys tried to kill me. You want more?
CURE is not at all interested
in your personal problems.
CURE sucks, whatever CURE is.
Mr. Williams, what we can't do here...
is embarrass the President.
A man named Grove
has discovered your existence.
But before CURE becomes visible...
we must all disappear without a trace.
How do you plan to do that?
Simple.
Harold W. Smith...
Assistant Research Manager,
found dead in his office.
Massive coronary.
I keep this pill in my pocket.
Across town another man is found
in the stockroom of a men's haberdashery...
his head blown off.
Where does that leave me?
It leaves you
and your slant-eyed little buddy. Chiun.
He's got your number.
Should be fast and painless.
Boys, we're not there yet.
But we'd better have a look at HARP
and come up with something pretty soon...
or we will have to vacate this office.
You and I are going to visit
Mr. Grove's plant.
Allegheny, 10:00, Gate 23.
Don't be late.
There is something you wish to ask.
The answer is yes.
If the Emperor Smith so ordered it...
I would have to kill you.
It is in the contract.
Cliff wants you.
Chiun teach you that?
No.
Anti-personnel mine. Korea.
See you back at the fence.
What lesson number was dogs, Chiun?
Let's see you try to get up here,
you sons of bitches.
You're not your average sons of bitches.
Try that, you mother.
- What happened?
- Man, I blew it.
Don't worry about it.
I think I got what we need here. Come on.
Grab that dozer over there.
Move it!
Jump!
Get this to Smith.
He won't be with us for much longer.
Has he talked yet?
Get Stone.
HARP...
the so-called cornerstone of defense
for this nation, for the next decade.
What about it?
What about it?
There is none. It doesn't exist.
But I saw the damn thing.
It blew up in my face!
I know.
But what you saw was a fake,
it was window-dressing, a pipe dream.
It doesn't exist.
And before you got close enough
to figure it out...
Self-destruct.
Blew our only hard piece of evidence
right out of court.
I'll bet this guy is filing
for his fire-insurance claims right now.
I've got to take my hat off to this Mr. Grove.
He'll get his appropriations
for HARP-2 and HARP-3, and in six months...
nobody will even ask him
what happened to HARP-1.
And you think it's funny?
Mac gives his life to get you that stuff
so you could nail the bastard...
and you tell me he's gonna get away with it,
that we can't stop him?
You can stop him, son.
Just tell me where he is.
Mount Promise.
But it's got to look
like one of Chiun's perfect accidents.
It'll be my pleasure.
Major. Nice to see you again.
I feel I owe you an apology.
I get hot under the collar when someone
tells me how to run my business.
But you're just doing your job.
And pretty darn well, by the looks of it.
The important thing is
that we're working for the same side, right?
Yes. And speaking of work,
I still have a lot to do before this afternoon.
Carry on, Major.
Actually, General, there was one point
I wanted to clear up with the Major.
What have you got there, George?
Just a small matter of national security.
Who are you working for?
Let me explain something to you, Mr. Grove.
A: I don't like being spied on.
B: You have no right to make accusations
that you cannot prove.
And C: I don't know who these men are
or who they work for.
So if you'll excuse me, General,
I have things to attend to.
Hi.
Remember me?
Yes.
I remember you, all right.
You just set my career back about a decade.
I'm supposed to be your accomplice.
Who the hell are you?
I could march you into that building
and clear this up.
You could but you won't.
Who are you to give me orders?
Army Intelligence?
You are Army Intelligence, aren't you?
It's the AR-60, isn't it?
No wonder I've been having so much trouble
getting information.
We've been working on the same thing.
I'm so sorry.
I don't know your name or your rank.
Do I salute you?
You salute me.
Major Fleming.
Hi, I'm Jim Wilson. Grove Industries.
General Watson asked me to contact you.
He tells me you have some concern
about our AR-60s.
Damn right. It's about time
somebody took this problem seriously.
That's what I'm here for, ma'am.
I've got one set up down on C Range.
- I can run you down there if you like.
- I'd appreciate that, Mr. Wilson. Let's go.
What are you waiting for, soldier?
A presidential invitation?
The only thing our guys at Baton Rogue
could figure out...
was that the retaining ring
hadn't been bolted down correctly.
It doesn't click on like a bayonet joint.
If some dumb dogface
doesn't follow specs...
and tries to force it, it'll malfunction.
Malfunction? When a piece of metal
blows someone's head off...
that isn't malfunction,
it's defective manufacture.
It means that your company
allowed a design error to creep in.
Did you run the 310 test on them
as well as the 480 sequence?
No. I think we're going to find blowback.
- Blowback?
- Precisely.
If that retaining ring is misaligned,
a bullet could conceivably jam in the barrel.
At 20 rounds a second on full automatic,
the results naturally would be catastrophic.
Catastrophic is not the word.
I must tell you that the Army
has long suspected Grove Industries of...
What the hell is going on?
Give it five minutes.
Don't forget to unlock the safety catches.
It's got to look like a nice little accident.
That's for my friends at the Statue.
This one's for me.
So listen to this, George. Lymon four-puts.
Four-puts, mind you.
I thought he'd have a stroke.
And I'd have claimed it if he had.
I'm afraid there's been a serious incident
at the gas testing area.
Fatal, I'm afraid.
- That's terrible.
- What happened?
One of your assistants, Mr. Grove.
The first thing I'm gonna do is file a 1611.
And if that doesn't work
I'm gonna nail them with a 1098.
Who were those bastards, anyway?
That guy Wilson...
he's gonna wish he'd never been born
after I finish with him.
What the hell did he think he was doing?
Thank you.
By the way...
I guess I should also thank you
for getting me out of there.
I remember passing out, and then...
I think we'd better keep moving.
That's not the way, that's west.
The camp is up there.
I know. That's why we're going this way.
Come on.
I got to report this to General Watson.
Those people tried to kill us.
- Major Fleming...
- Rayner.
I hate to pull rank on you,
but I want Grove Industries as bad as you.
Okay, let's do it my way. Neat and tidy.
All wrapped up in one package.
How does that sound?
Sounds good to me, sir.
Gentlemen...
as of now this base is on Alpha-1 alert.
This is not an exercise.
I repeat, this is not an exercise.
Military secrets have been stolen.
A man has been killed
and Major Fleming reported as missing.
Our infrared heat sensors
indicate two targets...
moving west
toward the perimeter of the camp.
They must be intercepted and detained.
Sir, if there's resistance, do we return fire?
The security of the United States
is at risk, Captain. What do you think?
Gentlemen, you have your orders.
Haven't eaten this good in weeks.
- How're you feeling?
- Fine.
- You sure?
- Sure.
I'm going to be down at the lake.
You are deaf!
I have been stomping around here
for 10 minutes...
while you talk nonsense with this...
woman.
Pleasure to meet you, too.
Even worse...
you and the woman
gorge yourself on sweets.
Excuse me, but I do have a name.
Women should stay home and make babies.
Preferably man-child.
I see you both went
to the same charm school.
He always talks like that. He's Korean.
I see. And that explains
why he lives in a forest.
No. Actually he's here for a special purpose.
To kill me.
Not so.
I'm here to see that you do not bring shame
to the House of Sinanju.
And if I do, then you kill me.
That I would do reluctantly,
because you have been a good pupil...
- for a white man.
- I see.
So that makes everything okay, doesn't it?
You are very skinny.
Why don't you try tightening
the pinion nut first?
Because if I do that, I won't be able
to line up the splines, dummy.
Sure don't make them like they used to.
I'll tell Lee lacocca you said that.
Damn, Harold. What did you do?
The brakes!
Jesus! Jump!
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
You all right, Chiun?
Christ!
God! Chiun.
In Korea, door handles do not break.
Are you all right?
- Are you hurt?
- No.
When you approach middle age...
there is a tendency
towards bruising, my son.
What?
What did you call me?
I called you a clumsy oaf.
You drive like a monkey in heat!
Oh, my God!
- Are you all right?
- And why should I not be?
What are we going to do now?
You're gonna stay with Chiun.
He'll probably teach you to breathe.
- I have a job to finish.
- Remo!
Do not embarrass us.
I won't...
Little Father.
This is ridiculous.
Do you know what he's trying to do?
- They'll arrest him, court-martial him.
- Silence.
They'll lock him up, and you just stand there
like Nanook of the North!
Why don't you help him, for God's sake!
I thought he was...
Lesson 22:
Blessed silence.
This is Pine Tree Command.
Good morning, gentlemen.
Hope we're in for some good hunting today.
Prepare to copy your sector priorities.
That includes you
and your little buddies, Liebowitz.
Go ahead, Pine Tree.
All stations to Situ-1.
Pull your fingers out of your ears
and give a listen. We're live this morning.
- Pine Tree, this is Mistletoe.
- Come on in, Mistletoe.
Bearing 120.
We have contact.
- Target's heading west.
- Range?
- 3.6 and closing.
- That's a Roger. Thank you, Mistletoe.
Pine Tree to all stations, go to Situ-2.
I say again, go to Situ-2.
This is not an exercise. We are live.
This is Redwood.
We have triangulation.
Alpha-7-1-2-Zulu-0-0-Niner.
Target entering carpet area.
This is Bandit Chief. Go to Situ-3.
- Lock and load.
- On your command, Bandit Chief.
Prime.
Red-4 live. Red-5 live.
Pine Tree Command.
We show two in the green.
All sectors secure.
Over to you, Bandit Chief.
Commence pattern.
This is Pine Tree Command.
Good work, gentlemen.
Prepare to stand down sectors
Redwood, Douglas, Cedar and Mistletoe.
Mop up commands search party
to Red-4 and report.
Roger, Pine Tree, will comply.
They better take the Batjet.
You're not going to believe this, Pine Tree.
My sensor indicates human presence
50 meters above the ground.
This sucker must've grown wings.
This is Bandit Chief.
I say again, this is Bandit Chief.
Stop chattering and give me radio silence
and some map coordinates!
Yes, sir! Coming right up, sir!
You are proceeding in a northerly direction.
Not us, you jackass! The target!
Yes, sir!
Foxtrot-4-6-4-Zulu...
5-0-5.
Heading toward the lake.
Stop!
All right, soldier.
Nail that commie son of a bitch.
Get him.
That guy's going nowhere, sir.
Shit.
- Are you out of your mind, George?
- It's your ass, too, Scott.
Damn. Get me more ammo.
He's getting away!
- I can see that.
- What the hell are you waiting for?
Pine Tree Command.
Come in, Bandit Chief. Over.
Stop right there.
I used to be interested in who you work for.
Now I don't give a damn.
You're a dangerous liability, my friend.
You'll be dead in about 15 seconds.
The amusing thing is,
I might get a medal for shooting you.
Who are you?
Remo Williams.
...also found in the wreckage
of a tragic accident was George S. Grove...
chairman of Grove Industries...
multiple recipient
of the Presidential Medal for Excellence...
and well known
for his contributions to charity.
Also killed was Brigadier General Scott...
- Where's Chiun?
- He went to look for you.
First squad, take the right flank.
Wheeler, take the bogies left and around.
Be careful, they may be armed.
And for crying out loud, watch the Major.
She's a woman and she's on our side.
There he is.
Careful, men. Hold your fire.
You must run very fast.
Who are you?
Would you believe we're the good guys?
Are you all right, Major?
Yes, I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
- Faster!
- Sometimes you're a real pain in the ass.
That is because it is the shortest route
to your brain!
- But we must hurry.
- What's the rush?
We must return in time
to see if Jim is truly going to walk.
- What did you say?
- Or has the doctor merely told him so...
because he hoped to get a new wing
for the hospital from his stepmother.
- Chiun, you're incredible.
- No.
I am better than that.