##[Repo Man Theme
by lggy Pop playing]
[Siren wailing]
##[Humming]
[Police radio chattering]
[Bird squawking]
# Clementine ##
Let me see
your driver's license.
(man on radio)
Post 10-18. Post 10-18.
From out of town, huh?
What you got
in the trunk?
[Sighing]
You don't want to look
in there.
Give me the keys.
[Screaming]
##[Man singing]
[Kevin humming]
[Woman chattering
on P.A. System]
# Feeling 7UP,
I'm feeling 7UP #
# Feeling 7UP,
I'm feeling 7UP #
# It's a crisp,
refreshing feeling #
# Crystal clear and light #
# America's drinking 7UP
and it sure feels right #
# Feeling lucky seven ##
Kevin, stop singing, man.
I wasn't singing, guy.
I'm standing right next to you, and
you're fucking singing. Cut it out.
[Exclaiming]
Why so tense, guy?
Otto.
Mr. Humphries.
You were late again
this morning.
Now, normally
I'd let it go, but...
it's been brought to my attention
that you're not paying attention...
to the way you space the cans.
Many young men of your age,
in these uncertain times...
Otto...
are you paying attention to me?
Hey, he's talking to you.
Fuck you.
[Gasps]
[Snickering]
[Groaning]
(Humphries) Good Lord.
All right, pendejo.
Motherfucker, come on, just try it.
(Kevin) Oh, man.
Come on.
You gotta love
getting fired...
from your job
in a big way, Otto.
What are you laughing at?
Luis, throw him out, too.
Come on, you fucking worm.
Me?
Get out of here.
##[Coup D'Etat playing]
[Men chattering]
How're you doing, Duke?
When did you get out
of the slammer, man?
[Girl shrieks]
Excuse me while I fold my pants.
##[Debbi humming]
What's the difference?
Huh?
[Sighing]
Okay.
Otto?
Otto?
What?
Get me another beer.
##[Institutionalized playing]
(Kevin) Be cool. Damn it.
A joke's a joke.
But I'm supposed to be
the host here.
Debbi, honey...
I got your beer.
This is bullshit.
(Debbi) Just ignore him, Duke.
He's nothing but a big baby.
What're you doing, man?
(Duke) Turn the fucking light out.
No one's supposed to be up here.
This is my parents' room.
# Don't want to talk about
anything else #
# We don't want to know #
# We're just dedicated #
# to our favorite shows ##
Saturday Night Live!
Monday Night Football!
Dallas!
Jeffersons!
Gilligan's Island!
Flintstones!
[Man whistles]
Hey, kid.
[Car horn honking]
Hey!
Hey, kid.
You hard of hearing, Ace?
What do you want?
You wanna make $10?
Fuck you, queer.
Now, wait a minute, kid.
You got the wrong idea.
Look, my old lady's real sick.
I got to get her
to the hospital, okay?
So what? Take her there. - I can't.
I can't leave her car in this bad area.
Look, I need some helpful soul
to drive it for me, okay?
She's pregnant, she's with twins, she
could drop at any time, all right?
Well...
how much you gonna give me?
$15.
No, I won't do it
for less than $20.
$25.
[Airplane engine droning]
Follow me in
my old lady's car.
It's right here, okay?
All right.
Where's your old lady at?
Never mind about that.
Right now, we gotta get...
both of my cars out of this bad area,
all right?
Come on.
[Woman speaking Spanish]
[Car engine starting]
##[Car radio playing]
[Tires screeching]
Let's go!
[Honking]
[Speaking Spanish]
[Exclaiming]
[Woman screaming]
##[Spanish song playing]
[Laughing]
[Honking]
(Miner) You know damned straight
which one I'm talking about.
It's sitting right outside.
It took me two weeks to get this money
up so I could come and get it.
[Buzzer sounding]
(Oly) That ain't your car.
Hey!
You gonna let him lie to you like that?
Shut up. Shut up.
You gonna give me my car, or
do I gotta go to your house...
and shove your dog's head
down the toilet?
Take it easy, sonny boy.
(Delilah) Shut up, rent-a-cop.
Best goddamn car on the lot.
You damn right it is.
[Phone ringing]
(Marlene) Will you hold, please?
Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation,
Marlene speaking.
[Both laughing]
Say, mama, what's happening?
Do you want to take a lift?
No, thank you.
Let's go.
Drive a Cadillac, you sleep in a tent.
Shut up, Plettschner.
(Marlene)
Bud, what street was that car on?
Honey, I don't know.
Some alley. Hey, kid?
He doesn't know.
(Otto) What?
Hey, what street
was the Cutlass on?
I don't know.
(Marlene) They don't know,
I'll call you back.
What happened to your old lady?
My old lady?
Oh, shit.
I forgot all about her.
Well, she'll take the bus.
She's a rock.
Hey, come on in.
Marlene?
Marlene?
Can you hold?
[Buzzer sounding]
You got a name, kid?
Yeah, it's Otto.
Auto? Auto parts?
Here, kid.
[Phone ringing]
Helping Hand.
You got a driver's license, sonny?
(Oly)
Fucking A, we ripped...
your car, asshole.
Let me see it.
You wanna know who told us where it was?
Your goddamn brother.
Are you really 21?
That's what it says,
doesn't it?
Hey, you want some help
with that beer, kid?
You're all repo men.
What if we are?
[Beer can clattering]
[Sighing]
You know, kid, usually, when somebody
pulls shit like that...
my first reaction is...
I want to punch his fucking lights out.
But you know something?
You're all right.
You're all right.
[Bud laughing]
That right, Lite?
You got any messages for me, baby?
(Marlene) Yeah, here you go.
[Buzzer sounding]
(Bud)
Cracks me up.
(Lite)
Somebody pissed on the floor again?
Maybe he's looking for a job,
huh, Budsky?
(Bud)
Could be. What do you say, kid?
We're always on the lookout
for a few good men.
Screw that.
Ain't gonna be no repo man,
no way.
It's too late.
You already are.
[Buzzer sounding]
[Helicopter blades whirring]
Find one in every car.
You'll see.
[Woman chattering on radio]
(Sheriff)
Years ago, I saw five cows mutilated.
Legs sticking up in the air.
Testicles bit off.
I think Canadian bacon is better myself.
Never seen the like of that.
What could have done that to him?
Gasoline?
Napalm?
It happens sometimes.
People just explode.
Natural causes.
What?
[Computers beeping]
[Beeping]
[Thunder rumbling]
Night watchman, Pomona?
Yep.
Asbestos worker, City of Industry?
Yep.
French-fry maker, Agoura.
That's absurd.
Yeah, well, you think
that's funny, huh?
There's fucking room
to move as a fry cook, man.
You know, I could be manager
in two years.
King.
God.
You know, Kevin...
I had this wild fucking dream
the other night.
I'll bet.
It was with you
and me, and...
we were working in this sleazy
shithole motel down in Miami, Florida.
And we were bellhops.
And we were 65 years old.
It was so real. It was really...
It was real, it was realistic, you know?
And then what?
You woke up in a puddle?
Fuck you.
Fucking jerk.
Where you going,
asshole?
Away from you.
[Kids chattering]
The Lord has told me
personally.
Yea, for I walk
with the Lord. Amen.
He said, "Larry,
you and your flock
shall see the Promised Land.
"But only if you first destroy
the twin evils...
"of godless communism abroad
and liberal humanism at home. "
Hello, Mother. Hello, Father.
Anything to eat?
Now, my friends, occasionally
we get a letter from a viewer
that says.
"Now, the only reason
Reverend Larry comes
on your television set...
"is because he wants
your money. "
And you know what?
They're right.
I do want your money,
because God wants your money.
So, I want you to go out
and mortgage that home...
and sell that car,
and send me your money.
You don't need that car.
Put it on a plate, Son.
You'll enjoy it more.
Couldn't enjoy it any more, Mom.
This is swell.
Dad?
Hey, Dad?
What is it, Son?
Do you remember...
that you once told me,
a long time ago...
Well, not too long ago, but...
that you told me that you'd
give me $1,000 to go to
Europe if I finished school?
Well, you know something?
You were right...
about finishing school.
That's what I'd like to do.
But I wanna know
if I can have the money first.
Like now.
You know, I really love you,
Dad. I've always loved you.
You, too, Mom.
What do you say?
I don't have it anymore.
What?
(Mom) Your father gave
all our extra money
to the Reverend's telethon, Otto.
We're sending Bibles to El Salvador.
Well, what about me?
(Dad) You're on the honor roll
of the Chariots of Fire.
Same as us, Otto.
It was a gift from all of us, jointly.
So how much do I get paid,
$25 a car?
Paid?
You don't get paid.
You kidding? You work on commission.
That's better than being paid.
Most cars you rip
are worth $200 or $300.
$50,000 Porsche
might make you $5,000.
[Honking]
Come on, dickhead.
It helps if you dress
like a detective, too.
Detectives dress
kind of square.
People think
"this guy is a cop"...
they're gonna think
you're packing something.
They don't fuck with you
so much.
Are you?
Am I what?
Packing something.
Only an asshole
gets killed for a car.
The guys that make it are the guys
that get in their cars at any time.
Get in at 3:00 a.m.,
get up at 4:00.
That's why there ain't a repo man
I know that don't take speed.
Speed, huh?
[Snorting]
[Sniffing]
Jesus Christ.
##[Car stereo playing]
I never broke into a car, I never
hot-wired a car, kid.
I never broke into a trunk.
I shall not cause harm to any vehicle
nor the personal contents thereof...
nor, through inaction, let that vehicle
or the personal contents thereof...
come to harm.
It's what I call
the repo code, kid.
[Sniffing] Don't forget it.
Etch it in your brain.
Not many people got a code
to live by anymore.
Hey, look. Look at that.
Look at those assholes over there.
Ordinary fucking people.
I hate them.
Me, too.
What do you know, kid?
See, an ordinary person spends his
life avoiding tense situations.
Repo man spends his life
getting into tense situations.
Assholes.
Let's go get a drink.
(Bud) Tense situations, kid.
Get into five or six of them a day,
don't mean shit anymore.
I mean, I've seen men stabbed,
didn't mean shit. I've seen guns, too.
They don't mean shit, but that's when
you gotta watch yourself.
Here, I'll handle it, pal.
Try to settle down.
Have a nice day.
Night.
Night, day,
doesn't mean shit.
[Bell tinkling]
Wasn't that Otto?
(woman) Otto who?
(Bud) There's gonna be
some bad shit...
coming down
one of these days, kid.
Oh, yeah?
Where are you gonna be?
On the moon?
Uh-uh.
I'm gonna be right here,
heading north at 110 per.
In this junker?
Cool car.
(Bud)
The Rodriguez brothers.
The motherfucker just flipped you off.
Roll the window down. Roll the window down.
[Both speaking Spanish]
Watch it, motherfucker.
Hey, fuck you, pussy. Punk!
(Otto)
Holy shit!
Want me to take them?
[Otto yelling]
[Otto and Bud chattering]
Goddamn dipshit,
Rodriguez!
Gypsy dildo punks!
I'll get your ass!
[Otto laughing]
Wow. That was intense!
Repo man's always intense.
Come on, let's go get a drink.
[Laughing]
Gee, Bud. You never told me
it was gonna be like this, man.
Cops and robbers.
Real live car chases.
[Whooping]
[Otto laughing]
[Man chattering on TV]
Shit, Debbi!
You say our names, we're gonna have
to kill all these people, Archie.
They all ran away. Come on,
you douche bags.
[Groans]
[Continues chattering]
[Buzzing]
Awful quiet in here.
Too quiet.
So, who are these
Rodriguez boys?
Rodriguez brothers.
Lagarto and Napoleon.
Two notorious delinquents,
currently responsible...
for at least 30 vehicles
in the field.
Scumbags.
They ain't scumbags.
They're car thieves,
just like us.
There's Ms. Magruder.
You wanna go for it?
Good gag.
You pull this one a lot?
Only on the women.
It never fails.
Excuse me.
Ms. Magruder?
I have something here for you.
How utterly charming.
[Screaming]
[Engine revving]
[Tires screeching]
Motherfucker!
Lite!
Lite, where are you, man?
Bruce I. Peason.
Brokerage consultant. Fucking millionaire.
Six payments behind.
I've never understood it.
What's that?
Fucking millionaires.
They never pay their bills.
See you at the yard.
Let me get this one.
No, I'll handle this one. Mr. Peason's
carrying a permit for a pistol.
Hey, give me that.
Don't underestimate me, Ace.
[Imitating gun firing]
(Peason)
And also, naturally...
I would like them to be
right next to each other.
In addition, I would
like them to be as close
to the window as possible...
so I can sit in my car
and watch them spin.
So all you have to do is take your
clothes out of here like this...
and put them into a machine
over there like that.
[Tires screeching]
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God. Stop!
##[Car stereo playing]
Hey.
Hey, you need a ride?
Hey, baby, you need a ride?
[Crashing]
Pick it up.
Look at you.
You pick it up.
You know yourself
you were wrong.
What were they doing out
in the middle of the street?
They weren't in the middle of the street.
That's not the middle of the street.
That's the corner.
Go on, you pick it up.
What?
[Laughs]
You pick it up.
No way.
You still want a ride
or what?
No, I don't.
My name's Otto.
Leila.
Is this your car?
Yeah, it's one of them.
[Scoffing]
One of them.
Think you're pretty slick,
don't you?
I bet you're
a used-car salesman.
Am not.
You dress like one.
I'm a repo man.
What's that?
It's a repossessor.
I take back cars from dildos that
don't pay their bills. Cool, huh?
No.
##[Car stereo playing]
What are you doing?
Those men in the car next to us.
Don't look at them.
Don't look at them. If they see me,
they'll kill me.
Really, why?
[Screams]
What the hell are you doing?
What's going on?
Take a look at this.
[Otto chuckling]
It looks like sausage.
It isn't sausage, Otto.
That's a picture
of four dead aliens.
[Snickering]
Laugh away, fuckface.
That picture's gonna be on the cover of
every major newspaper in two days' time.
How do you know that?
Part of a secret network.
A scientist who's also
in our secret sect...
smuggled the corpses
off this Air Force base.
Now he's got them in the trunk of his car.
It's a Chevy Malibu.
We've got to find him.
What are you gonna do with them,
put them on Johnny Carson?
Yes.
We're going to have a press conference
and tell the world.
[Snickering]
[Otto laughing]
"United Fruitcake Outlet".
My door doesn't work.
(man on radio) Look, it's curling up.
(woman) How cute!
Maybe we should
take it home.
Doesn't seem to have an owner.
Oh, yes, let's!
(radio announcer)
But no!
No matter how appealing, do not let
strange creatures in your house.
We all know strange creatures
are on the increase.
Many of them do seem
furry and adorable...
but beware!
We do not know from whence they came.
[Sighs]
Thanks for the ride.
Sure.
I don't know. What do you think?
You wanna go out with me again sometime?
I don't know. I'm gonna, kind of,
be busy with work...
and the Malibu
and everything.
Okay, great.
Terrific.
Here's your shit.
What's your problem? I mean,
girls might like you...
if you lightened up
a little bit.
Fuck, man. Girls pay
to go out with me, all right?
Wanna get back in the car?
What, here?
Yeah.
[Leila giggling]
(Otto)
Fucking seat.
[Leila screaming]
(Oly)
$20,000 for a Chevy Malibu?
Who's Double X
Finance?
(Marlene)
Storefront operation.
But the money is
in escrow.
Want me to notify
the boys?
No.
They're always bitching
about their caseload.
Think I'll go out for a while.
Why, are we out of beer?
Somebody has to
work around here.
Keep making me money, kid.
Fuck you.
(Lite) Man, we been
looking for this...
little red devil
for a long time.
Just act natural. Nobody knows
if this is your car or...
somebody else's car.
Don't worry about that. Come on.
You give it a try, all right?
But if this has one, I know you'll
find it, boy. Come on.
Got it.
[Alarm blaring]
You take this,
I'll take that.
Hurry up
and get out of here.
[Alarm continues blaring]
Put your
seat belt on, boy.
I don't ride with anybody unless
they wear their seat belt.
It's one of my rules.
Put the damn gun down, boy.
Ain't no toy. Shit.
[Engine revving]
I walk into someone's
place of work...
they're shit-scared.
They know I'm not a cop.
They think I've come
to kill them. And I would.
I'll kill anybody
who crosses me.
Know what I mean?
Do you like music?
Sure.
Then in that case,
you're gonna love this.
I was into these dudes
before anybody.
Partied with them
all the time.
##[Car stereo playing]
They asked me to be the manager.
I called bullshit on that.
Managing a pop group...
ain't no job for no man.
Did you read that book I gave you?
What book?
Dioretix. The Science
of Matter over Mind. - No.
Well, you better read it,
and quick.
That book will change your life.
I found it in a Maserati
in Beverly Hills.
Know what I mean?
(Miller) A lot of people don't realize
what's really going on.
They view life as a bunch of
unconnected incidents and things.
They don't realize that
there's this, like...
lattice of coincidence that
lays on top of everything.
I'll give you an example.
Show you what I mean.
Suppose you're thinking about
a plate of shrimp.
Suddenly, somebody will say,
like, "plate"...
or "shrimp,"
or "plate of shrimp,"...
out of the blue.
No explanation.
No point in
looking for one, either.
[Train horn whistling]
It's all part of
a cosmic unconsciousness.
You eat a lot of acid, Miller?
Back in the hippie days?
I'll give you
another instance.
You know the way everybody's into
weirdness right now?
Books in all the supermarkets
about Bermuda Triangles?
UFOs?
How the Mayans invented television?
That kind of thing?
I don't read
them books.
Well, the way I see it,
it's exactly the same.
There ain't no difference between a
flying saucer and a time machine.
People get so hung up on specifics,
they miss out on seeing the whole thing.
Take South America, for example.
In South America...
thousands of people
go missing every year.
Nobody knows where they go.
They just, like,
disappear.
But if you think about it
for a minute...
you realize something.
There had to be a time when
there was no people, right?
Yeah, I guess.
Well, where did all these
people come from?
I'll tell you where.
The future.
Where did all these
people disappear to?
The past?
That's right.
And how'd they
get there?
How the fuck
do I know?
Flying saucers.
Which are really...
Yeah, you got it.
Time machines.
I think a lot
about this kind of stuff.
I do my best thinking
on the bus.
That's how come I don't drive, see?
You don't even know how to drive.
I don't want to know how.
I don't want to learn. See?
The more you drive...
the less intelligent
you are.
(Bud)
You know, I think I saw
one of those things once...
them UFOs. And it was really
just kind of scary.
It's all these fucking
colored lights and sounds.
I mean, sounds and lights like
I ain't never heard before.
I mean, it was really weird.
(Otto) Bud?
Yeah.
Do you think all repo men
follow the code?
Of course.
Well, I mean, you see a lot of
fucked-up cars come in, but...
customer who fucks them up.
Assholes.
I'm offering $1,000 for his Falcon.
You know what that is, Napoleon?
It's a bribe.
(Napo) What the hell is this?
Napoleon?
Who the fuck are you calling?
It's $1,000 if you'll show me
where his car is, Napoleon.
Go fuck yourself, asshole.
[Phone disconnects]
Hello?
Prick.
(Napo)
'64 Chevy Malibu...
$20,000.
(Bud)
Waiting!
We could buy 10 of them
for that, Marlene.
Think you can
find it now?
(Napo) Now, how come this junk
is worth so much?
What's in it?
Drugs?
[Bud screaming]
Hermanos Rodriguez
don't approve of drugs.
(Marlene) Neither do I.
But it's my birthday.
That motherfucker's
still down there.
I don't care
how long it takes, dildos!
Repo man's got all night,
every night!
Jesus Christ, $20,000!
[Phone ringing]
(Leila)
Hi, this is Leila.
I'm not here right now,
so please leave your name...
number, and a brief message and the
time you called at the beep.
Please try to be frank.
[Beeping]
(Otto) Hey, Leila.
All right, this is Otto...
the guy who gave you
the ride and stuff.
I heard something
about that car.
[Static screeching]
(Leila) Otto?
Otto.
Otto, stop.
You said you had
something to tell me.
Otto?
Otto?
What did you
want to tell me?
Take off your clothes.
I'm at work, Otto.
Oh, yeah? Me, too.
Your work is different than mine.
Says who?
What're you doing?
Don't do that.
Well, the least you could do
is give me a blow job.
I guess that means no.
Leila.
We have a cell meeting
in two minutes' time.
Thanks, Deidre.
I'll be right there.
[Door closing]
[Police siren wailing]
See, that motherfucker Oly thinks I
don't know what's going on, Lite.
As soon as I find that Chevy,
I'm going indie.
Gonna buy myself a tow truck, a couple
of pit bulls, and run a yard.
Sit around and watch everybody else do
the work for a while.
No way you can do that on $20,000, man.
The hell I can't.
As long as you got good credit.
And my credit is spotless.
Credit is a sacred trust.
It's what our free society
is founded on.
Do you think they give a damn
about their bills in Russia?
I said, do you think they give a
damn about their bills in Russia?
They don't pay bills
in Russia. It's all free.
All free?
Free, my ass. What are you,
a fucking commie?
No, I ain't no commie.
You better not be. I don't want
no commies in my car.
No Christians, either.
(Kevin) I'll deal with you later.
I got a customer to attend to.
You, too.
Hi, I'm Kevin. Vacuum, sir?
[Panting]
[Machine whirring]
A little vacuum, sir?
[Sighing]
[Man vomiting]
Well, hey, do you want me to
check the trunk?
Excuse me.
[Car horn honking]
Hi, I'm Kevin.
Hey, buddy, how you doing?
Hey, don't you remember me?
I was here yesterday.
Listen, I think I left a book of matches
over in your office over there.
You want to go check for me?
Sure thing.
Hey, thanks a lot, buddy.
Anything for you, babes.
All right, you're beautiful, I love you.
Be right back.
[Tires screeching]
What?
[Men whooping]
(Otto)
It's really very simple,
Mrs. Parks.
You don't want me
to take your car...
and I don't want
to take your car.
Now, I said
to the boss, I said:
"Look, I do not want to
repossess this lady's car."
Well, I've been in
the hospital, you see.
Yes, yes, I understand.
But my job is really
on the line over this one.
I mean, I could
lose it right away.
I'll see if I can
borrow some money
from somewhere.
That's terrific.
Really terrific.
[Men chattering]
Oh, how was the rehearsal, Son?
It was okay.
Who's this?
Oh, this is Mr. Otto, Gary...
from the finance company.
He's been telling me that he isn't
going to take the car this time...
even though he could.
[Chuckling]
Well...
got to get going here.
(Mrs. Parks)
Did you like the tea?
The tea?
Yeah, it was terrific.
[Grunting]
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Excuse me.
(Mrs. Parks) I gave you the last week's
payment, and you didn't do it.
What did you do with it?
I'm so tired of giving you money, and you
squandering it. I know what you done.
Y'all went out dancing somewhere,
that's what you did.
Listen, next time I give you some money,
I want you to put it on the car.
You working.
How come you didn't do it?
I don't know what's happening here.
(Gary)
It's all right.
[Gary and
Mrs. Parks chattering]
[Engine revving]
(Otto) Hey, it's cool, man,
everything's cool!
Hey, I like music, too, man!
[Otto groaning]
##[Humming]
Some people ain't cut out to be
a repo man.
Why don't you smarten up, kid?
Fuck you, Plettschner.
Ow! Ow!
Don't you say "fuck you" to me.
Don't you know who I am?
Yeah, you're Plettschner.
You're fucking right,
I'm Plettschner! Otto Plettschner!
Three times decorated
in two world wars!
I was killing people...
while you were swimming around in your
father's balls, you little scumbag.
I worked five years
in a slaughterhouse...
and 10 years
as a prison guard in Attica!
So what?
So what?
So, never say "fuck you" to me, because
you haven't earned the right yet.
(Lite) Kid, I need
a contract driver.
See what
I mean, punk?
##[Humming]
Fuck you.
Fuck you!
(Plettschner)
You little scumbag.
(Lite)
Shut up, Plettschner.
Don't you ever
tell me to shut up!
[Gurgling]
Shit.
[Speaking Spanish]
It's too hot in here, man.
[Gurgling]
What the hell is going on?
It's so fucking hot I think that shit
in the trunk is going to melt.
I think we better take a look,
all right?
(Lagarto)
Go get us two sodas.
(Napo) All right, as soon
as I check the trunk.
(Lagarto) We're just the mules.
Entiendes?
[Speaking Spanish]
[Gurgling]
(Marlene) Helping Hand.
Marlene...
we found the car.
(Duke)
Come on, you guys.
[Ladder creaking]
(Debbi) Get the lead out.
Stop pushing, Duke.
(Duke) That's the medication.
Oh, man.
(Archie) Be cool, dude, we got more.
Let me help you,
Archie dear.
(Archie) Come on, come on.
##[All singing]
Yeah, well that's not the only thing,
Marlene. This car is hot.
(Marlene)
What do you mean? Stolen?
No, I mean it's hot,
really hot.
Hot?
Yeah, we're sweating like pigs, man.
Look at the papers.
Where's the car from?
(Lagarto)
It's from some place...
Roswell, New Mexico.
[Whistling]
Duke!
[Both slurping]
(Lite) Me, fight in the war, man?
Fuck, no way.
##[music playing] Nobody got to
do that shit. Not in this country.
New ID don't cost no more than a pink slip.
You know what I mean?
Something wrong?
No.
You know, Marlene?
Man, she's pretty hot.
Otto, my man...
I'd jump on that action from day one
if I know where she was coming from.
[Snickering]
(Otto) See you back at the yard.
Have fun.
[People chattering]
[People arguing]
[Dog barking]
Holy shit.
[Gun firing]
Holy shit!
Lite! Holy shit!
Holy fucking shit!
Lite!
Lite! Lite!
Open the door! There's a maniac in...
What are you doing?
Open the door, man!
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Open the door!
Lite!
You're still on the job, white boy.
Get in the car.
Open the door, man! Open the fucking door!
Open the door, Lite!
Get in the car. Jesus Christ!
[Police siren wailing]
You're crazy, Lite.
I mean, you can't just shoot
into people's houses.
I mean, maybe you shot the guy.
What if I did?
Well, I don't know.
I mean, that's pretty severe.
Jesus Christ!
Hey, blanks get
the job done, too.
You repo men, man, you guys are
all out to fucking lunch.
Let's get out of here.
[Phone ringing]
Hello?
[Man mumbling]
Is it you? This is Leila.
Are you using a scrambler?
I can't hear you.
I'm using a scrambler.
[Man continues mumbling]
Look out!
What?
Happy face,
do you want a ride?
No! Help!
[Leila crying]
(Leila)
What do you want from me?
(man)
We ask the questions.
You're not going to
torture me, are you?
Torture you? What for?
To find out what I know.
I'd torture someone
in a second,
if it was up to me.
[Scoffs]
Why are you looking
for the Malibu?
Because of the trunk.
The aliens inside.
Illegal aliens?
No, silly.
Extraterrestrial.
[Laughing]
Did you ever think
about joining the CIA?
I'm gonna have
to ask my boyfriend.
Boyfriend?
##[Men singing]
(Otto)
What's going on?
(Marlene)
The usual.
(Oly) Come on, Miller. Hi, Marlene.
How you doing, baby?
[Man laughing]
(Oly) Jesus, who done that
to you, son?
Who done what?
(Bud) "Who done what," he says.
You wanna talk about guts?
What'd you do
with your face, kid?
Just some dude, it doesn't matter.
Yes, it does.
Why don't you do something,
Plettschner?
Aren't you a cop or something?
Marlene, I'm on my coffee break.
Repo man don't go running to the
Man, Marlene. Repo man goes it alone.
Yes, sirree, Bob.
Just like John Wayne.
Damn right, just like John Wayne.
What's wrong with that?
(Plettschner)
Greatest American that ever lived.
John Wayne was a fag.
What did you say, Miller?
(Oly)
What?
John Wayne was a fag.
(all) The hell he was!
He was, too, you boys.
I installed two-way mirrors
in his pad in Brentwood.
And he come
to the door in a dress.
(Plettschner)
You're fucking nuts.
(Oly) That doesn't mean
he was a homo, Miller.
A lot of straight guys like
to watch their buddies fuck.
Know I do.
(all) Yeah?
Don't you?
Damn straight, I do.
Fuck John Wayne, man!
Tell us his name, you little pussy.
Piss off, asshole.
(Otto)
You bastards!
(Bud)
Take it easy.
Come on, easy, man.
The guy's head is hurt.
[Screaming]
You're taking this
too personal, son.
The thing is, a repo man got beat up
in the line of duty.
It doesn't matter
that that man was you.
What really matters is that the guy
that did it has got to pay the price.
Now stop being selfish
and tell us his name.
Come on.
[Otto screaming]
(Otto)
You bastard! All right.
Okay, his name was...
Mr. Humphries?
Yes,
I'm Mr. Humphries.
What do you want?
[Groans]
(newscaster) The President admitted
US planes have...
napalmed refugee camps
in southern Mexico.
He explained that these camps were,
in fact, guerrilla bases.
In strife-torn Guatemala, shots
were fired at the US Embassy.
[Ringing]
Government troops retaliated
and killed 50...
Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation,
Marlene speaking.
(Leila)
Hello, is Otto there?
It's for you, a girl.
Yeah.
Hi Otto, it's Leila.
Psst!
Leila who?
##[When The Shit
Hits The Fan playing]
I can't believe
I used to like these guys.
(Rogersz)
Listen to me.
For the sake of this
and future generations...
you must tell us
everything you know.
Yeah, sure.
I need another drink.
Otto, these aliens
aren't on ice or anything.
They could be
starting to decay.
We've got to find them before
they turn into mush.
Well, well, well,
if it ain't the repo man.
You look like shit,
you wanker!
Duke, Debbi, Archie...
I'd like you to meet Leila
and her weird friend.
How you doing,
asshole?
How come you don't hang out
with your friends no more?
(Otto)
What friends?
[Exclaiming]
Want some beaut, dude?
(Debbi and Archie) Duke!
[Both sniffing]
I really love you, man.
You're my best friend
because you always...
fucking came to see me
while I was in juvie.
(Otto) I was busy, man.
I told you, I was working.
Look, a metal hand.
Cool.
[Laughing]
Can we feel it?
Enchant.
[Laughing]
[Archie laughing]
Fuck this. Let's go
do some crimes.
Charming friends
you got there, Otto.
Thanks.
I made them myself.
##[Scatting]
(Debbi)
Hey!
What the fuck are you doing
with our car?
Your car?
(Archie)
Yeah.
Are you sure?
This looks
like my car.
Are there pecan pies
in the back seat?
Not anymore,
we ate them.
Shut up, Archie.
(Archie) You shut up.
You still here?
My car looks
just like this.
But this is yours.
Your car.
(Archie)
Yeah, four-eyes.
Of course.
What's in the trunk?
What do you mean?
You don't even know what's
in your own trunk?
(Debbi) Kill him, Duke.
You know what?
I think you're afraid
to find out.
Kill him. Come on, Duke,
you putty butt. Kill him.
I ain't afraid
of nothing, see?
It's all right, I don't blame you
for being afraid.
I said, I ain't afraid of nothing!
I kill people like you!
Oh, well.
I guess you're right.
It's better not to look.
Get...
Beautiful evening.
You can almost see the stars.
(Archie)
Shut up.
He's going to open it.
[Screams]
(Debbi) Come on, Duke.
This thing is hot.
[Archie snickering]
(Debbi)
We don't have all night.
Cool.
Close it, Duke.
No!
Dukie Wukie
hurt his little hand.
Fuck you, Archie.
Just for that, you're not
in the gang anymore.
I'm taking over now.
(Debbi)
Oh, leave it out.
King Archie, the Invincible.
Shut up, Archie.
Hey, Debbi, watch this.
[Whooshing]
(J. Frank)
Oh, dear, what a shame.
Come on, Duke,
let's go do those crimes.
Yeah, let's go
get sushi and not pay.
[Man chattering on radio]
(Napo)
Hey.
Hey, buddy.
[Muttering]
Special deputies, pull over.
(Napo)
Hey.
So the farmer says, "The ice
broke, and he fell in."
There goes
another one.
What are these people, man?
They only put one person in each car.
The city wants us to carpool,
but nobody gives a shit.
If people carpooled,
we'd be out of work.
Bullshit. "How come that pig's
got a wooden leg?"
[Whistling] "Well," says the farmer,
"About three months ago"...
(Miller)
Look at that car.
Hey, Budsky,
there's your girlfriend.
Los Rodriguez brothers, huh?
Okay, boys,
we got the whole team
here tonight.
Let's settle these
motherfuckers' hash for good.
[Whistling]
(Lite) Let's do it.
(Napo)
Pull over.
[Speaking Spanish]
Shit!
(Bud)
I got it.
(Lagarto)
Hey, watch it, relax.
[Gurgling]
Don't lose him, man.
I hate men who play dumb.
(Lagarto) You see him?
Hey, take it easy.
(Napo)
Stop the fucking car.
[Horns blaring]
(Miller)
Stop the fucking thing.
Hey, come on,
you motherfucker.
[Crashing]
Shit!
Motherfucker, come on. Come on,
motherfucker. Yeah, come on.
What are you waiting for, motherfucker?
I'll kick your fucking ass. Come on.
Come on, what are you going to do
with that bat? - What?
[Logarto yelling]
Too bad, Bud. This is going
to cost you plenty!
What do you mean, cost me plenty?
How's your neck, Napoleon?
Oh, my neck.
Yeah, oh shit!
Oh shit, my neck is killing me, man.
I think I got whiplash.
Besides the whiplash,
this isn't a repo car.
Bullshit. I got the fucking papers.
Old!
We paid it off.
You see, this is
our favorite car.
That's right.
You got insurance, motherfucker?
[All shouting]
No!
(Oly) Come on, take it easy.
(Napo) Come on.
Cocksucker!
(Bud) Whose side are you on,
for Christ's sake?
We lose, God damn it!
[Metal scraping]
Shit!
This is bullshit, Oly.
Yeah, that's what I said when the marshal
woke me up at 4:00 this morning.
Unfortunately, it isn't bullshit.
It's a summons.
Bullshit. You should have
refused to accept it.
Have you read it?
The goddamn Rodriguez brothers are
suing us for malicious damage...
medical expenses, and harassment,
for a car they fucking own!
The Rodriguez brothers are...
You believe the fucking
Rodriguez brothers?
They're a couple of scumbags,
Oly. You know them.
I know that, Bud, but we've got to
sit down and get our stories straight.
Bullshit, you're taking
their word against mine.
I was there, remember?
[Man chattering on TV]
Why don't you go home?
Take the rest of the week off.
Take the rest of the...
I can't take the fucking...
Yeah, I get it.
"Take the rest
of the week off, Budsky"...
so you can get the fucking $20,000
for the Malibu.
Make it a fucking month!
Yeah, well, fuck you!
On second thought, Budsky,
don't bother coming back at all.
Great.
I'll come back
and pick up my stuff later...
when the fucking place
don't stink so bad.
[Door closing]
[Chuckling]
Shut up.
##[music playing]
(Bud)
Fucking trash.
Makes you wonder
how much they owe.
Most of them are on the run, don't even
use their fucking Social Security numbers.
If there's just some way
to find out how much...
the motherfuckers owe,
and making them pay.
Jesus Christ, Bud.
They're winos.
They don't have any money.
You think they'd be bums if they did?
You want out? Do you?
No.
What's the matter with you?
You don't like your job anymore?
Not happy in your job?
I mean, I feel like we're not
communicating anymore.
When we first started out,
I thought I could teach you something...
share something with you,
for Christ's sake.
Answer me!
[Engine shuts off]
[Crying]
(man)
I'm picking up the dead wino.
My hands are on his body.
I'm carrying his limp torso
to the truck.
He feels like he's only been dead
for a little while.
[Tires screeching]
[Gurgling]
[Stomach growling]
[Otto coughing]
Bitch.
[Train bell ringing]
[Tires screeching]
[Panting]
##[Humming]
[Otto panting]
J. Frank Parnell.
Otto.
You ever feel as if your mind
had started to erode?
No.
Ever been to Utah?
Sir, I represent the
Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation.
(J. Frank)
Radiation. Yes, indeed.
You hear the most outrageous
lies about it.
Half-baked, goggle-box do-gooders
telling everybody it's bad for you.
Pernicious nonsense.
Everybody could stand
They ought to have them, too.
When they cancelled the project,
it almost did me in.
One day, my mind
was literally bursting.
The next day, nothing.
Swept away.
But I'll show them.
I had a lobotomy in the end.
Lobotomy?
Isn't that for loonies?
Not at all.
A friend of mine had one.
Designer of the neutron bomb.
You ever hear
of the neutron bomb?
Destroys people,
but leaves buildings standing.
It fits in a suitcase.
So small.
No one knows it's there,
until blammo!
Eyes melt, skin explodes,
everybody dead.
It's so immoral, working on the thing
can drive you mad.
That's what happened
to this friend of mine.
So, he had a lobotomy.
Now he's well again.
What kind of car
does your friend drive?
Chevy Malibu.
This is really a nice old car.
Why don't you let me drive?
What do you mean?
I don't know, I mean...
Don't you feel funny?
Why should I feel funny?
The two hemispheres
are fundamentally at odds.
Hemisphere. Hemisphere.
You know, it's strange.
I do feel funny.
[Horn blaring]
[Exclaiming]
[Engine starting]
##[Milk Cow Blues playing]
[Woman laughing]
(woman) Here's the young new waver
we've all heard so much about.
My old man had a Mohawk when I met him.
He was in the service then.
(man)
Signed it over to me.
He was such a monster,
I used to have to tell him no.
My old man was exactly
the same way, until we got married.
(Lite) Hey, Oly, your wife's hanging
all over Otto.
Yeah, flies on shit.
Have you seen Bud anywhere?
Who?
##[Radio playing]
[Dog growling]
(Bud)
Hey, Ace. Wait up.
So, you want to talk about it?
Talk about what, kid?
Why you're so damn mad at me?
I'm not mad at you.
God. I'm not. I'm not mad at you.
All right. Okay.
Debbi.
What?
I've been thinking.
Now that we've got
some money...
and Archie's gone...
don't you think it's time
we settled down?
Get a little house.
I want you to have my baby.
Why?
Well, I don't know.
Everybody does it, and...
it just seems like
the thing to do, and...
Asshole.
[Sniffing]
Let's go do the job.
Duke, Debbi.
What are you guys doing here?
What's it look like, Ace?
Up against the wall.
I'm going to kill them.
I'll kill everybody.
[Laughing]
Drop it, motherfucker!
[Groans]
(Duke)
Shit!
[Gasping]
Debbi.
Do you think it's too late for us
to get romantically involved?
I think, a little.
Wait, stick with me.
I'll make you a repo wife.
Bollocks.
Here.
[Duke gasping]
Easy.
Otto.
Yeah, I'm here, man.
The lights are growing dim.
I know a life of crime led me
to this sorry fate...
and yet...
I blame society.
Society made me what I am.
That's bullshit.
You're a white suburban punk,
just like me.
But it still hurts.
[Vomiting]
[Gagging]
Your gonna be
all right, man.
Maybe not.
[Camera clicking]
(man #1)
Yep, he's dead, all right.
(man #2)
No doubt about it.
A goner.
Man.
(man)
Well, who's setting him on fire?
[Phone ringing]
[Shouting]
(agent #1) The Chevy Malibu, baby.
Where's the car?
Otto, you better stay out of this.
Jeez.
[Phone continues ringing]
Why?
It's none of your business.
You want to be a hero?
I'd rather be a chicken man.
A what?
A chicken man.
Did you ever see a farmer's wife?
Let go of me!
It's peaceful, man.
(agent #2)
The Malibu!
Yeah.
[Marlene grunting]
[Men groaning]
Let's go!
No way, Marlene.
My car is gone, and we're going
to get to the bottom of this.
Like hell we are.
Not my face!
Hold it, Marlene. Freeze!
My face!
Over my dead body.
That's how it's going to have to be.
Come and get me. Come on.
(Plettschner) Been wanting to do
that one for a long time, honey.
(Marlene) Come on, if you think
you're man enough.
(Otto)
Hey, Plettsch.
Coffee break.
[Screaming]
(Rogersz)
Good evening, Otto.
This is Agent Rogersz.
I'm going to ask you
a few questions.
Since time is short
and you may lie...
I'm going to have
to torture you.
But I want you to know,
it isn't personal.
(Otto)
Look, this isn't really necessary.
I'll tell you anything you
want to know. - Good.
Where is the Malibu?
I don't know.
Somebody ripped it
from the yard.
[Otto screaming]
I don't think he knows.
Increase the voltage.
Well, what if
he's innocent?
No one is innocent.
Proceed.
[Otto yelling]
Oh, yes,
look at them.
High heels, hair nets,
those ridiculous trench coats.
They're pathetic.
(man) Agent Rogersz,
they're getting away.
It's all part
of the plan.
[Mumbling]
[Radio announcer
chattering in Spanish]
Otto, pull yourself
together.
Marlene.
What's going on?
We're going to the hospital.
(woman on P. A system)
Dr. Benway to surgery.
(woman)
Hey, I know you.
You're the one
that ran into my trash.
(Lagarto) Shh.
Shh to you, too.
(female announcer)
Visiting hours are now over.
Thank you for your assistance.
Out of order.
Take the stairs.
(announcer)
Mr. Lee.
Please return the scalpel,
Mr. Lee.
Otto.
They go into it all the time.
(woman) Let me see that.
All wrong.
Do it over.
And they won't
pick it up.
(nurse)
Well, isn't that a shame?
I tell you, it comes to something when
they expect you to pick it up.
[Clearing throat]
How you doing, man?
(Marlene)
Ask him about the Malibu.
[Man chattering on TV]
Look, about the other night,
I'm sorry I split.
I know I should have stayed with you,
but it's like when I was a kid...
you know, I had this set
of Big Wheels, you know.
Otto.
(announcer) Please be quiet
in the stairwells.
Please be quiet
in the stairwells.
(Rev. Larry on TV)
A very sad, un-Christian
thing just happened.
A sweet old lady's
car was stolen.
It's a Chevy Malibu.
Brothers and sisters...
please, if you've seen
this car...
just call this toll-free
number. - Shit.
Praise the Lord.
Go, go!
Come on,
let's go.
[Lagarto whooping]
[Tires screeching]
[Groans]
[Tires screeching]
(Otto)
Slow down.
[Screaming]
[Tires screeching]
[Crashing]
(Lagarto) All right, don't shoot.
All right.
Chicken shits.
Who's this fool?
[Imitating chickens clucking]
Where's the Malibu?
Don't even ask, because I don't know.
I mean, I don't have it,
Marlene doesn't have it.
You and your crazy friends
don't have it, so that only leaves...
[thudding]
[People shouting]
Where is he?
Where the fuck is he?
(Rev. Larry on TV) He is risen.
[Hissing]
[Men shouting]
Later.
(Marlene) Bye-bye.
(newscaster on radio)
Here's another weird one.
Reports are coming in
of an apparent hail of
ice cubes south of downtown.
Scientists are at a loss
to explain the freak showers
of tiny cubes of ice.
Some weird fucking shit,
eh, Bud?
What's going on?
Shit.
Eleven years of repoing cars,
and what have I got?
Shit!
[Helicopter approaching]
Bud, listen to me.
You're sitting in a car
worth $20,000.
Look, we turn it in, we take the money,
we'll split it 60%-40%, you and me.
Who gets the 60o/o, kid?
Well, I don't know. I figured,
since I found the car first that...
you'd get it.
(man on megaphone) Get away from
the car. This is your only warning.
We got problems, man.
No, wait!
Stop fucking around, man!
Only an asshole
gets killed over a car!
You calling me an asshole, punk?
Yeah, I'm calling you an asshole.
Come and get me, copper.
I'm well-armed, and I know where you live.
[Gun firing]
[Screaming]
Son of a fucking bitch!
I'd rather die on my feet
than live on my knees.
(man) Come on, you Fudgsicles.
Let's get that car.
Hey, Oly,
look at Bud.
Bud!
(Rogersz) We'll tow it to a cliff
and drive it off.
I have the papers on this car.
You guys want a beer?
Hey, Bud.
Want a beer?
No, cigarette.
No beer is needed here.
[Oly yelling]
(man)
Approaching car.
Encountering strange,
eerie kind of force field.
I don't know what it is,
it's...
[men screaming]
Come on, you Popsicles.
[Man screaming]
God, I love this job.
Linear and inverse vectors
merge in zero.
(Rogersz)
This way, Your Holiness.
[Whooshing]
It's more than a job. It's a calling.
Critical mass...
is at a point of zero.
You could say it's spiritual.
Spiritual?
Holy sheep shit!
(man)
Get back! Get back! Move away!
[Coughing]
[Crackling]
(Rogersz) Get back in there,
or you don't get paid.
Have you read this book,
Dioretix?
Chapter 7, Verse 3.
I got it marked.
Miller, what are you doing?
Going for a little spin.
(Otto) But you don't know
how to drive.
Otto, don't go.
What about
our relationship?
What?
What about
our relationship?
Fuck that.
You shithead! I'm glad I tortured you.
How could you leave me?
(Leila) I'm the one who's supposed
to be in that car.
[Men groaning]
[Engine whirring]
[Both chattering]
Best goddamn car in the yard.
Wow!
This is intense.
The life of a repo man
is always intense.
[Car zooming]
THE END
##[Repo Man
by lggy Pop playing]