SPARE TYRE
You put make-up
where the spare tyre should be!?
That is just plain lucky,
Johanne.
What are the chances for that, do you think,
being a matematican and all?
Sit still, and don't make a peep.
Or I'll dismember the both of you.
Do you need any help?
No, I've just got a flat tyre.
I'll manage.
It's really no problem.
It'll go way faster
with one of these.
Quite hot out today.
Yeah?
The metal in the car doors
expand to make that sound.
Happens all the time
with the oil barrels down at work.
- You don't have to get all sweaty on
my account. - Don't worry aboot that.
We're used to the heat
here in the southern parts.
It's practically Africa.
We even have chimpanzees
and giraffes...
We even have chimpanzees and giraffes...
and a zoo!
Seriously. I'm almost finished
anyways. Don't bother.
Just get the tyre on there
and let the tool do the work.
Size 19 you have there?
I've got that too.
No, 22's correct.
I've got that too.
My name's Arild.
John...
You're not from around here,
are you?
No...
Of course.
That's aboot enough of that, dear.
Why don't you bleed more,
you dry, little fart.
No, no, no.
Just lay there,
and let the tool do the work.
Stop looking so freaking sad.
Haven't you always wanted
the body of a Roman statue?
There, there, little sister.
What kind of coffee
did you bring today?
It's just ordinary
boiling brewed coffee.
Dang! Oh, was it PP?
Yes, it was...
Nice trailer.
I've could've taken that one.
When you've been laying here for a while,
there's a chance that the coffee cools off.
That is why it's important to have
a high quality thermos to keep the heat.
But it can't be to hot either,
because then you'll go like this...
So the best you can do is make a
coffee that is neither good nor bad,
so that you're not
sitting around enjoying it.
Because then you'll forget all aboot why
you're here. That is "why I'm here".
It's awfully quiet now. There
aren't many people using this road.
It's an infamous detour.
Takes a lot of time. I have to wait for
a car with a plate from outside the area.
That is when I place my
tire deflation device.
What do you do when a car
with the correct plates drive by?
Then I call the sheriff and
tell him that someone is lost.
This road here goes
around the hill...
...and behind on the other
side I place the spike strip.
When he drives around
here and flat tires,
that is when I get my car
and drive down there too.
And I ask him if he needs some help.
It's important not only to keep awake,
but to get something to eat also.
And it should be salty, so that
you're not up peeing all the time.
When I've been here long enough,
I just pissin my pants.
Once in a blue moon I get a biker or
a jogger, or one of those weirdoes skiing.
They move so slow I just
run them down with the car.
If I can't hold it in any longer,
I just piss in the coffee.
If you only drink coffee,
coffee is what comes out again too.
Hot diggety.
That was fast!
I have to take this one.
I'll just roll out the tire
deflation device. Back in a jiff.
Why did you run over
the hill right now?
Because the car had plates
from outside of here.
I think it was DL
or maybe JD.
There's another car.
Ah well.
I'll take two today then.
Are you coming with me?
That's ok.
We have to make some more.
'Cause I'll be back here.
Tomorrow for instance.