THE RETURN OF THE TALL BLOND GUY
Last May 6th,
Franois Perrin arrived at Orly.
He was wearing different coloured shoes.
That was the start of the adventure...
...of the Tall Blond Guy
with one black shoe.
This man, chosen from the crowd, by
coincidence, went to become the hero...
...of an espionage affair. Colonel
Toulouse, head of a secret service...
...sent him into the hands
of his assistant, colonel Milan...
...who, he thought, was too
much of a careerist.
Toulouse made it look as if the Tall
Blond Guy was an international spy.
His plan was simple:
if observed well enough...
...every innocent person becomes
strange and suspect.
The Tall Blond Guy was going to avoid,
unknowingly, the traps set by Milan...
...and his team. Christine, one of the
top specialists of colonel Milan...
...didn't get anything out of him.
She even ended up falling
in love with him.
The innocence of
the Tall Blond Guy...
...led to the fall of colonel Milan.
That is how colonel Toulouse...
...got rid of his
over ambitious assistant.
Maurice Lefvre, a friend of the Tall
Blond Guy, witnessed the massacre.
And his sanity was
gravely compromised by it.
The Tall Blond Guy, still
totally unaware, went to Rio...
...with Christine. A just
reward after this incredible story.
Three months later...
A letter. A letter from the
Tall Blond Guy, captain.
"Maurice Lefvre"
"Dear Maurice, don't talk to
anybody about this letter.
You'd endanger us both.
First of all, rest assured
that I'm totally sane.
We got entangled in an espionage
affair of some ruthless people.
They used us to settle their scores.
They manipulated us.
One day, I'll tell you,
this incredible story in person."
Mr. Lefvre?
-Yes?
A letter for you.
Captain Cambrai.
-Who gave you this letter?
I'm heading an investigation
into the death of colonel Milan.
Did you intercept my mail?
Now I know what
I wanted to know:
Colonel Toulouse got rid of
Milan, using the Tall Blond Guy.
Come Maurice.
-If you agree to testify...
...we can get colonel Toulouse,
Mr. Lefvre.
Do you understand? We need
you to testify.
I don't want to get anybody.
This story nearly drove me mad.
Just leave me alone, understood?
Yes?
-Hello, sir.
Dear Perrache, let's pay our
respects to the new minister.
He came from Agriculture.
He's 45 years old, has an unfuckable
wife and has 4 children.
Which proves that
he's capable of anything.
He has a passion for
Japanese fish.
You know, they don't eat a lot.
At Agriculture,
I had a more practical desk.
Less high and bigger.
Here's the file, minister.
-Ah yes.
If it's in the interest of your
investigation, I'll play along, captain.
But I'd like to understand.
I'll explain when I have formal proof.
The affair is too serious.
He likes to hear himself talk.
He's smug and slippery...
...like a piece of soap.
He has a 22 year old mistress.
We bugged her place
He calls her "my little rascal".
She calls him "my big log".
The Big Log.
Colonel!
-I'd like to introduce myself.
I'm happy to work for you.
-Thank you, minister.
I know your reputation, colonel.
Captain Cambrai...
Perrache.
Well, gentlemen...
...we'll make a great team.
And you'll see that
I don't waste time.
Although I'm new at the job,
I already have something to show you.
"THE TALL BLOND GUY
WITH ONE BLACK SHOE"
Milan, your assistant,
seems to have had a small obsession.
He kept files
on everybody.
This one seemed very interesting.
Poor colonel Milan.
He was a remarkable man.
-Yes, Franois Perrin, nicknamed...
...the "Tall Blond Guy with
one black shoe", 32 years old...
...single, normal childhood,
conservatory, military service.
Wait, that's not what we're
interested in. First violin...
Ah, this is interesting. A note
written by colonel Milan himself.
"The Tall Blond Guy
with one black shoe...
...works for colonel Toulouse.
Super agent, working alone.
Exceptional cover: violinist.
Cold blooded, nerves of steel,
formidable.
The Tall Blond Guy is the most
dangerous man I met in 30 years...
...of intelligence service."
He must be one of your best men.
He's... What?
This super agent must be a
very special person.
Yes, yes, he's a good operative.
-Bring him to me.
Excuse me?
-Bring him to me. I want to meet him.
But that's impossible.
-Ah, why?
Because he's on a mission.
Where?
-In the tropics.
Mozart, Bach, Brahms, Wednesday.
Excuse me? -He's playing in Paris,
next week. -Who?
The Tall Blond Guy... An excellent
opportunity to introduce him to me, no?
Why didn't that loser stay away?
You did very well, minister.
I admit that I'm a bit
worried about all those mysteries.
You see, at Agriculture, things are
a bit more... how should I put it?
Straightforward, that's it.
Straightforward.
I want a real file on him, Perrache.
His interests, his passions, his vices.
-Yes, sir.
I also wouldn't want to antagonise...
...Colonel Toulouse.
I'm a bit worried about him.
I'll get this Big Log.
What about his tax declaration?
He pays his taxes, sir.
-Why?
I don't know, sir.
-He always wants to be different.
We could have told him that...
-What? That you picked him at Orly?
That the Tall Blond Guy was
an average guy from the crowd?
An asshole trap.
No, no, dear Perrache.
We'd risk our jobs and
Never forget that he's dead
and that the Tall Blond Guy...
...is the murder weapon.
-The weapon will be in Paris in a week.
Send in Prince and Charmant.
-Yes, sir.
The minister, please.
For colonel Toulouse. Yes.
You're going to Rio, tomorrow morning.
Hello, minister?
Sorry to disturb you,
but I just heard...
...some bad news:
the Tall Blond Guy's dead.
Yes, minister,
dead on a mission.
Dead on a mission?
Ah, my God!
Repatriate the body.
-What?
Repatriate the body.
Excuse me?
Ah, that's a very good idea.
Yes, minister.
I'll make the arrangements.
That's the cherry on the cake.
He wants to give him the legion of honour.
To whom?
-To the Tall Blond Guy, posthumously.
He wants me to repatriate the body
and to write his obituary.
He wants an emotional ceremony
for the super agent.
He's a megalomaniac, the Big Log.
-My God.
What are you doing there?
You should have left by now.
"No, Franois Perrin,
you didn't die for nothing."
You don't have to judge him.
Just write the obituary.
"Franois Perrin,
dead on a mission in a foreign land...
...heroic soldier in the shadows,
secret defender of our liberties.
France admires you..."
-Don't you think it's a bit much?
No, it's not too much.
It sucks, but it is not too much.
Franois Perrin, you seemed eternal.
Shit!
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you...
...happy birthday to you, Franois,
happy birthday to you.
Damn.
-Wait, wait.
Oh, look!
My God.
Come, Christine.
Come, come.
Stay here. I'm going there.
"No, Franois Perrin,
you didn't die for nothing."
The relatives of the Tall Blond Guy.
-Ah yes.
Thank you, sir.
-It's better without a moustache.
Why a man?
-We couldn't find an old woman.
With the veil, there's no problem.
-Alright.
Brothers in arms will carry the coffin.
-Very well.
The brothers in arms!
Turn right.
-Perfect.
Perfect. And the priest?
-Lon!
Yes. Hello, sir.
What's that?
Yes. We'll find a better one, sir.
Yes? What?
Well, do what needs to be done
and do it quickly.
He's not dead.
-What?
Charmant is in hospital. He got a
champagne cork in the head.
We'll bury him anyway.
It's better if he's dead.
Well, that's not easy...
for the zapata, is it?
Christine! Christine!
Franois! Franois!
-At the beach.
Ok. See you later.
Do you love me?
Oh, yes.
-I love you too.
She's cute, isn't she?
She's my wife. Are you married?
-No. -Neither are we.
Well, not yet, but we will.
Because she loves children.
And so do I. We want children.
Children are cute. I love them.
Do you have children?
-No.
Ever since I was young, I've
been around children. Lots of cousins.
My grandfather also liked children.
So did my dad.
All the family love children.
That's us. It's a cult.
On birthdays, there's 25-30 of us.
I don't know... kids everywhere.
That's what I want with my wife.
She comes across carefree, but...
Hello.
What's in the coffin?
-Sand, sir.
Not enough, Perrache, not enough.
Christine.
Christine.
Franois. You're so silly.
I played with a kid and he buried me.
Help me out.
You're tickling me. You're tickling me.
Got you!
We got him. No, not a problem.
Everything has been arranged, sir.
No, Franois Perrin,
you did not die for nothing.
Franois Perrin,
dead on a mission...
...in a strange land...
...heroic soldier in the shadows.
The free world... all of France
is grateful... are grateful to you...
...and admire you.
No, Franois Perrin,
you did not die for nothing.
Your mutilated corps.
Secret defender of our liberties.
All of France and the free world
are grateful to you and admire you.
We buried him this morning.
-What?
Toulouse had your friend killed,
Mr. Lefvre.
For Franois Perrin.
His brothers in arms.
Next Wednesday.
Franois Perrin.
Don't pull a face
like that, dear Perrache.
He'd have played on Wednesday.
-I'm sure he didn't suffer.
Colonel Toulouse?
Yes?
-Captain Cambrai wants to see you.
The captain who was at the minister's.
-Yes. Tell him to make an appointment.
I'm busy. Burials
make one thirsty.
Cheers.
-Cheers.
Celebrating the death of your agent?
-Who told you to come in?
I want to introduce
somebody to you.
Maurice Lefvre,
a friend of Franois Perrin.
Hello, sirs.
"My dear Maurice..."
It's a letter from the Tall Blond Guy.
-What right do you have to bring...
...a civilian here?
-You bring them to their coffins.
We're listening, Maurice Lefvre.
-"My dear Maurice...'
"My dear Maurice."
Telephone.
We don't understand, I swear.
We just do our jobs.
I don't understand.
I really don't understand.
Don't hang up.
I think you were saying"
"My dear Maurice...".
Ah yes, "My dear Maurice..."
-What do you accuse me of, captain?
Of the murder of the Tall Blond Guy.
You find that funny?
I accuse you of killing colonel
Milan, using the Tall Blond Guy.
Mr. Lefvre has no more reason to keep
his mouth shut. He'll testify against you.
I've waited 2 months for this moment.
Men like you are a disgrace to the army.
Tonight, you'll sleep in jail,
colonel. I'm glad...
...this amuses you.
Be sure not to hang up.
I'll finish my report.
If I was you, I'd save myself
the embarrassment of a trial.
My dear Maurice...
-Come, Lefvre.
I want a file on that little viper.
Captain. Do you like music?
-What?
The Tall Blond Guy is alive and he'll
be in the Gaveau next Wednesday.
I'll give you 2 tickets.
What's that supposed to mean?
Why take me in there?
Why say he's dead when he's not?
I don't want to get any
problems because of you.
Nor does Franois.
-I need you to testify.
Come with me to the minister.
-No way.
I'm getting scared.
-Toulouse's lying. Perrin's not...
...an agent. He's a civilian. A loser.
-He's alive. that's all that matters.
Yes, we have to protect him now.
What?
No, I'm not joking.
Protect him. Look after him.
Alright, sir.
Alright, sir.
Alright, sir. Oh shit.
It's done. It's finished.
What?
-3 kilos of plastic.
In 10 seconds, it'll explode
into his face. 10, 9...
My God!
-8, 7...
See?
Look. Look over there.
Look.
Well, madam...
It took a long trip...
...to find you.
Colonel Toulouse.
Oh shit. Oh shit.
Yes.
Christine. Christine?
Franois, my darling...
Stop it, Christine. I saw you.
-I won't be in tonight.
Goodnight.
-Stop it.
This is crazy.
-Franois, my darling...
Franois, we're going to ask you
a certain favour.
Christine, what are you doing there?
-You have to say yes, Franois.
Understand? You absolutely
have to say yes. I love you, Franois.
It's over, Mr. Perrin.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Perrin.
But who...
-We don't know each other, yet we do.
And I actually have...
...a little service to ask you.
-But what is this?
And I count on your
cooperation, Mr. Perrin.
A minister awarded you...
...the Legion of Honour, yesterday.
-To me?
A military award.
I understand you're surprised, but
that's not all: you got it posthumously.
This minister, who's a total idiot...
...thinks your James Bond,
Mr. Perrin.
Me?
-Or more precisely...
...for a mix between James Bond,
Mata Hari and the red Orchestra.
I'll tell you exactly what to do
so you don't disappoint him.
Arrival from Rio de Janeiro.
Flight VARIG 320, at gate 41.
Are you waiting for the Tall Blond Guy?
-Leave us in peace.
You won't enjoy his company for long.
-Why not?
I'll prove he's no super agent.
I asked the minister to give...
...your friend a dangerous mission.
He has a chance of 1 in 1000 to survive.
You're going to kill him
to prove you're right?
There he is.
What's that?
-That's him.
The Tall Blond Guy
with one red shoe.
Well?
A chance of 1 in 1000 to survive.
Franois. Franois.
-Franois.
Look, Maurice.
Hello, Franois.
-It's Paulette.
How are you?
Well... You know...
Answer me. Don't pull that face.
Hey, Maurice.
You're in danger, Franois.
-Roger. I say roger.
Ok, sir, we will do it. We will do it.
Roger. I say roger. Ok, sir.
-Excuse me.
That's Roger. You were saying?
-They'll send you...
...on a very dangerous mission.
Franois, you're in danger.
Oh, excuse me.
-But, but...
What's happening, Franois!
-Nothing at all. Why?
I have to go. I have an
important meeting. See you.
You're very handsome.
-Ciao, buddy.
Ciao.
I'm... I'm very sorry.
It's the...
Alright, I'm off guys.
A little advice: don't get involved
in things that are too big for you.
Amazing.
-He's changed so much.
He's beautiful.
Great suit and he looks so tough.
-I don't know...
Where is she?
Where's Christine? I played along.
Now give her back to me.
Franois.
-Christine.
They didn't hurt me, Franois,
and we'll be together soon.
But keep doing what
they're asking.
Yes.
-Please, darling.
I love you.
-I love you too.
Can I see it again?
-Franois.
We'll be together soon,
but you have to keep...
...doing what they're asking.
I love you.
Can I hear it one more time?
-No, it's enough.
I won't be able to
do this much longer anyway.
This comedy is absurd.
You're doing fine, Mr. Perrin.
-And what's this about a mission?
Maurice said something about
a dangerous mission. What about it?
Not a bad strategy.
-He's smart, the little captain.
He convinces the minister to send
the Tall Blond Guy on a mission.
Preferably a lethal mission.
-The Tall Blond Guy gets killed.
And we have new problems.
-The Tall Blond Guy gets killed?
They find his mutilated body.
-My body?
Cambrai tells the stupid minister
that I'm a murderer.
But that's what you are.
A murderer, exactly. I want to...
Don't be afraid. We'll get
that little captain.
Act like you did at the airport
and everything will be fine.
But he will know.
He can't be that stupid.
-Yes, he can.
But I'm not stupid, captain.
-Of course not, minister.
Explain yourself, man.
Your investigation's all fine, but...
...you have to explain a bit.
-I can't say anything without proof.
First, they want me to make the
Tall Blond Guy come back. Which I do.
Then, they tell me the Tall Blond Guy's
dead. So I make his body come back.
And now they tell me
the Tall Blond Guy has risen again.
And they ask me to send him
on a mission. Well, excuse me.
I'm a bit lost now.
I spent 2 years at Agriculture.
I'm not used to a mess like this.
-Colonel Toulouse.
Let him in.
Hello, colonel.
Minister, please meet
the Tall Blond Guy.
Hello, minister.
-Nice to meet you.
I've heard a lot about you.
And I'm pleased...
...that Mozart and Brahms
brought you back to Paris.
I have a delicate mission for you.
You want to send the Tall Blond Guy
on a mission, minister?
Yes. My advisors mentioned
a mission that required...
...exceptional capacities.
-Your "advisors" don't know...
..that an agent needs his rest?
-What?
Mr. Perrin does not hang
around in an office.
He just spent
A mission that put his life
at risk every day.
The hero is tired?
-He's no longer a hero.
He's a broken man.
A man who needs to recharge his
batteries. Give me your arm, Perrin.
Give me your arm.
-This one?
See the state the super agent's
in, minister?
Indeed, he seems...
Pull out your weapon, Perrin.
-Excuse me?
He's carrying a gun.
He'll pull it out. You be the judge.
Pull out your weapon, Perrin.
That's strange.
I don't remember where I put it.
Excuse me. It's crazy.
I'm sorry. This is really...
-Two months ago, Perrin was...
...the best marksman. The fastest
shooter in the service. A wreck.
Perrache? A bit of
hand-to-hand, please.
Yes, sir.
Have you gone mad?
But, what...
Oh shit!
Two elementary moves.
They wouldn't even work on a beginner.
We can't send this man on a mission.
He needs his rest. It's clear.
Good performance, sir.
-Yes.
The minister makes for
a good audience, colonel.
I don't.
I won't let you get away.
Trust me on that.
In the end, I will...
...get you.
So he's after you.
I'm safe now.
No, Mr. Perrin,
you're part of this too.
He'll always be after you.
And he'll get us.
Unless we discourage him.
-Discourage him how?
You're going to teach him a lesson.
-Me?
The file, Perrache.
-Yes, sir.
Gaston Cambrai was a premature baby.
He weighed one kilo at birth.
This is it.
-Go on.
Why do you give me this?
-Keep reading.
It's none of my business.
What does it all mean?
-You'd better read it all...
...carefully. This file is our weapon.
-I don't care he peed in his bed...
...until the age of 12. I don't care.
-We're not interested in that bit.
He never saw a drop of blood.
He spent his entire career in an office.
He looked for action in Africa.
He joined the intelligence service.
During an interrogation...
...he started crying, suffered a nervous
breakdown. Was in hospital for months...
...and went back to the office.
-And then?
Cambrai wanted to be tough,
but he cracked at the wrong moment.
He needs his mother.
Believe me, we'll make him piss himself.
No, make anybody piss themselves,
but without me.
It's enough.
-Easy, take it easy.
Enough. I want Christine right away.
-We'll give her to you. Bit by bit.
What?
-First an ear, then a finger...
We'll give her to you,
but bit by bit.
Asshole!
Perrin, it's Cambrai. Open up.
What do I do?
Captain Cambrai.
I'd like to have a word
with you, Mr. Perrin.
I really enjoyed your
little act for the minister.
Colonel Toulouse
is a good trainer.
By the way, I heard trainers
work in 2 ways.
The gentle or the cruel approach.
How does he work?
No need to answer, Mr. Perrin.
I know...
...your master's methods well.
-What's that?
His file. Do you know what
kind of man colonel Toulouse is?
There's also a file about you.
-Louis Marie Alphonse Toulouse...
Only son. His parents really
wanted a little girl.
I don't care about your files.
-The future boss of counter-espionage...
...spends his childhood wearing floral
dresses and embroidered shorts.
His school buddies nickname
him "The Doll".
At 22, he marries the daughter of an
admiral, who divorces him a year later.
It's Maurice, Franois.
Am I disturbing you?
-Yes.
Put the gun down, captain.
-Eavesdropping's bad.
It's a bad moment, Maurice.
-I need to talk to you.
Just one question, Franois.
-No, not now I said.
Little viper.
-Murderer.
No, gentlemen,
wait until he leaves.
Just one question.
Are you a secret agent or not?
I've had enough.
-What?
You wouldn't understand.
-You had enough of what?
Maurice, go.
-You didn't answer me.
Are you a secret agent or not?
Roger. I say roger.
Careful, it's burning.
I'll get some water.
-Maurice! Maurice!
Your 3 friends are in the kitchen
with guns.
Your 3 friends are in the kitchen
with guns.
I know.
I don't care.
-They don't look very happy, you know?
I said I don't care. Bye bye.
-Hey.
What are you doing?
I got my answer.
-What?
You're a secret agent. It's crazy.
I never would have thought.
You're playing your
little instrument.
There. All in a day's work.
Leaves you cold, doesn't it?
-Yes. You're right. Bye, Maurice.
Gentlemen... that way.
In the back. The kitchen.
I'll let you work.
You can send your gorillas home.
-Could you do this downstairs?
Go before I get angry.
-It's me again, Franois.
Sorry, I forgot my beanie.
Where did I put it?
Don't mind me.
It's... You just put
something down somewhere...
I had a cap. Woollen.
With red stripes on one side.
White stripes on the other side.
Strange, isn't it?
The way you can lose things.
Oh, I'm an idiot. There it is.
So you take work home.
That was Maurice.
"The Doll".
-I've been in intelligence...
...for 20 years and I never had
a nervous breakdown.
See you very soon, Mr. Perrin.
I've had enough.
-Well, now we can focus on...
...this gentleman.
-Not at all. I'm off.
I need some air.
I'm suffocating here.
Let me pass.
I'm counting to 3! 1...
...2, 3!
That's hard. That hurts.
Bravo, Mr. Perrin.
Yes and you'll do
that again tomorrow.
All day long.
Play super agent.
And without any risk.
It's the little captain who'll
call for his mother.
Perfect.
We can go to work.
You walk over that grid.
And you're caught in gun fire.
What?
-Blanks, of course.
You jump to the side.
Pull out your gun. Shoot through...
...the grid.
And then you get up...
...and go to this fence.
You get in using force.
Force?
I can never do that.
-The fence will be prepared.
You go in there.
You're attacked by a Chinese.
A Chinese? A Chinese?
Yes, Mr. Perrin,
tomorrow morning.
Mr Perrin! You're up early.
Tell me, Mr. Perrin.
I thought you were resting.
-The enemy doesn't rest.
I've recovered.
-Well! On another mission already?
No, the aftermath of my mission in Rio.
-Well, I'm here to help you.
I read your letter to Maurice.
-I never wrote that letter to him.
Would you repeat that in front of him?
Lefvre!
Maurice.
He told me you're in danger.
So I came.
That wasn't the plan.
-Even better. Let the spectacle begin.
Perfect.
You shouldn't have come, Maurice.
-He doesn't believe you're a spy.
He says they're pressuring you.
Tell him it's not true.
Are you a secret agent
or are you not?
You were saying?
-Me? Nothing at all.
What's wrong with him?
-His finger, sir.
Well, do something.
Thanks.
Excuse me, but I
have things to do.
Does he do it on purpose?
-No, he's always like that.
Ok, continue. The Chinese?
-The Chinese.
Go!
-Ok!
Are you alright?
-My watch.
My watch, damn.
-Oh, sorry, sir.
Asshole.
Ok, I'm going home.
-What's that about?
I don't know.
but I'm going home.
The car.
-The car.
Careful!
Captain!
That way.
You never take a break, do you?
-You shouldn't have come, Maurice.
Here, captain.
Hold that for a moment.
"The man who dies in his arms."
Go.
-Alright, you.
Captain.
It hurts. Why...
...did you do that?
It hurts. It hurts.
He's dead.
Alright, come on.
Let's not stay here.
He doesn't let go of me.
Excuse me.
Come!
Asshole!
What a bastard.
Shit, that hurts!
This wasn't planned.
I'm off.
What on earth are you doing?
-He's throwing rocks at us, sir.
Are you alright?
I killed a man.
I killed a man.
And it's not over yet.
The next stage.
The karate scene. He turns left and
there's the karate scene in the street.
I forgot to tell you that
we made a small change.
What's that?
-It's not karate. He turns left...
...and he walks into Prince
and Charmant. They're really armed.
Will they kill him? Why? You only
wanted to teach the captain a lesson.
Why kill Perrin? When you made him
rehearse the karate scene...
...did you know he as going to die?
He turns left. Prince and Charmant
will end this story.
And don't you judge me, understood?
Why is he turning right?
You told him to turn left.
The idiot doesn't know right from left.
It looks that way, sir.
-Where's he going?
That hurts.
What's happening, Lucien?
But what's happening, Lucien?
-This idiot..
...kicked me in...
-Aren't you the karate guy?
This guy's deranged.
-But who's that, Lucien?
What does he want, Lucien?
Officer, I was supposed to do this
and I did this.
A cop separates them, sir.
He's arresting the Tall Blond Guy.
Let him go as fast as possible
and give him back his girlfriend.
Alright, sir.
-And let's end this once and for all.
Tonight, during the concert,
for instance.
Captain. Where's Franois?
-I don't know. He's gone.
So, are you convinced now?
My friend's not a secret agent?
I don't know. I don't know anymore.
Maurice!
See? They bought it completely.
If the Tall Blond Guy dies now,
they'll be the first...
...to say he was a super agent.
Did you hear me, Perrache?
Tonight at the concert. Execution.
He leads a double life, Franois.
It's obvious. 3 months ago...
...there were 5 corpses at his place.
He forgot his gun.
I'll take it to him.
-Don't play with it.
I told you not to play
with it, idiot.
The bullet.
-What, the bullet?
The windscreen.
-What, the windscreen?
Oh, damn.
What are you doing there?
-There are no real bullets...
...in your gun, Franois.
Maurice, listen.
-Come.
Where?
-Come, I said.
Hello Franois.
-But...
Get undressed and lay
next to my wife.
Your life's in danger.
-What?
Lay on top of Paulette.
She'll tell you what to do.
There they are.
Franois?
Franois?
He should be there.
They let him go over an hour ago.
Franois?
-Franois, Franois, Franois!
Christine!
-Franois!
I didn't expect you this early.
Do you know Paulette?
Yes, she's Maurice's wife.
-Hello.
Oh, Christine,
don't misunderstand.
Oh no, Paulette just came
to say hello and...
And that's all.
Are you alright?
What's this supposed to mean?
-Nothing, don't look...
...so unhappy.
We had an hour to spend and...
You know how it is.
-I lost an earring.
Anyway, I'm happy to see you.
You know, I was worried.
-My earring.
Waiting was terrible.
I was a nervous wreck.
Stop, Paulette.
She's terrible. Stop.
It can't be true, Franois.
-Well, tell her.
Oh, no.
-Yes, tell her.
I saw Paulette again. We got
along wel and then...
I could have told you another time,
but you can't plan sex.
Alright, alright.
Is that all you have to say to me?
-I'll tell you more when we're alone.
Do you understand?
-I understand, yes.
I understand very, very well.
-Christine.
Oh l l, women!
Well, old buddy,
you surprised me.
And I can tell you
that's not easy to do.
Please get in.
He's up there with a woman.
-I know. With my wife.
Have this hanky and
listen to me.
You organised this morning's charade
to kill the Tall Blond Guy, colonel.
If anything happens to him,
Mr. Lefvre will testify against you.
Stop Prince and Charmant, quickly.
Hurry up!
He's dead.
I'll keep my promise, captain.
I'll testify against colonel Toulouse.
Colonel.
-Get lost.
You lost, colonel.
-Get lost or I shoot.
Come on, in front of 800 people.
This was also a comedy, colonel.
There are more blanks
than yours alone.
I see, bravo.
Bravo! Bravo!
Congratulations.
Oh! Gentlemen, gentlemen, bravo.
But where are you going?
-You once told me...
...to avoid the shame of a trial.
Thank you, captain.
Oh, bravo. Thank you, Perrache.
-Ladies and gentlemen.
Don't panic. Case closed.
The concert will resume normally.
Excuse me for ruining your evening,
but it was for the sake of justice.
Minister, I'd like to thank...
...the conductor and his musicians
for playing along.
I especially want to thank
soloist Franois Perrin.
The little captain believes in
old fashioned politeness.
Let's go to Orly,
dear Perrache.
Captain, I'd also like to thank you.
In the name of all the people...
...you spied upon,
manipulated, used...
...whose lives you ruined,
I'd like to say thank you.
Well...
-Oh, excuse me.
I think I'll ask for a transfer
back to Agriculture.