- Hi, Mom!
- Hi!
Hi!
Hi, baby.
Look at you.
- Hi, baby.
- Yeah, she got big!
She got big, yeah?
- Baby, hi.
- Yeah.
What do you say, sweetie?
Welcome home.
Oh.
Hi.
Hi, sweetie.
- I love you.
- I love you so much.
I'll pick you up.
Oh, my God.
You feel so good.
All right, all right.
Here, let me get that,
let me get that.
- I got it.
- All right.
You sleep on the plane?
- Mm-hmm, a little bit.
- That's good.
I couldn't sleep a lot,
though, I was excited.
- Yeah, I bet.
- Yeah.
Hey, can you plate
the chicken, please?
Oh, my God, I missed you.
And Mike was such
a rock star.
I saw him
all the time at the Kroger's
with Brie in the basket.
You would have been
really proud of him.
And Missy said he was great
at spouse group, weren't you?
Come on, watch the hair!
- Hey, can I have a glass?
- Sorry.
Mike!
Oh, my God,
this looks so good.
- My favorite...
- That's my addiction there...
Go ahead.
Here, can you
hold this, please?
Go ahead, turn, turn,
turn, turn.
Let's see what you got,
let's see what you got.
Now do me.
Oh!
Look at you.
Oh, you're getting heavy.
I'm gonna dip you.
- Flip me!
- Flip you?
Oh, my...
How am I going to flip you?
You're getting so big!
Let's let Mom rest,
okay, here, here.
But Mom loves dancing.
I know, but it's time
for her to relax.
You guys,
it is so nice to have your own
fucking chair and a beer.
Dollar in
the curse jar.
And she's still doing Bingo
on the weekends,
and so she's
wasting all her money there
and she's still working at
the grocery store.
And this guy,
he doesn't make anything.
So with this new husband,
she keeps borrowing
from us all the time.
And I... I let her
borrow the car.
She had to go out
and roll it, though.
Damn... totaled it!
So she writes me
this letter.
I mean, she's my own mother,
but she mails it to me,
saying she's
going to pay for it.
Like I don't have
a telephone, okay?
Can you believe this?
Of course, I haven't seen
a red cent.
Yup, I knew it.
I've been dealing with this
all over town.
It's not us,
it's the city pipes, you know?
They're all rusted out.
Doris Norman's
got six bathrooms.
Took me five hours
to set her up.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
Well, she said I could charge
her for the whole day.
- Seriously?
- Yeah, so I did.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
Hmm?
That's nice.
What?
- You're crazy.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, now, hang on.
I don't have this
on yet.
Ah, shit, shit.
- No, no, no, no, no...
- What?
No, no, no, no.
No.
They say you got to
take it slow first.
Who's "they"?
The spouse group.
That's what they said!
- Are you serious?
- They're very serious.
No.
They don't know
everything.
Oh, God, hon...
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm almost finished.
You better be careful,
I'm almost done.
Oh, shit, shit.
Hey.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Wait, I forgot to
put this back on.
Get over here!
What are you doing?
I'm just...
making sure
she's breathing.
Check me, too?
Okay.
You're definitely breathing.
You go back
to sleep, okay?
Okay.
It's like
falling off a bike.
Yeah.
Everything seems so small.
What are you
talking about?
It's exactly the same
as when you left.
Yeah, but over there...
quantities.
Gigantic.
Then how did you lift it?
Mm-hmm.
What did you have,
like, a gigantic forklift?
All right, maybe the boxes
are the same size,
but there is a lot of them.
Slow down,
you're making me look bad.
All right, Brie.
Get in your seat
like a big girl.
What?
Shorty crunk so fresh so clean
Can she pump that question
been harassing me
In the mind this bitch is fine
I done came to the club about
Now can I play
with your pantie line?
The club owner said I need to
calm down
Drop that ass yeah
shake it fast
Throw that ass to the left
and the right ya
Turn that ass
Shake it fast
Throw that ass to the left
and the right
You okay baby?
Damn you're fine
Move it so you sock it to me
one more time...
# Hey girl
shake that thing #
# Shake that thing
don't stop #
What?
# Hey girl
shake that thing #
# Shake that thing
don't stop ##
That's right, girl!
That's great!
Good girl.
# M-A-N-I-A #
# The best #
# By far #
Smile!
- # Cheer mania #
- Yes!
- Yes!
- # Are stars #
Yes, yes!
Very good.
Yes!
Beautiful!
Here we go, and five, six,
seven, eight!
Yes, yes, tight!
Tumble!
Remember to smile!
- Smile!
- That's my girl.
Yes!
Aw, thank you, baby.
We got more ketchup, if anyone
needs any more ketchup.
He made it.
Be careful...
Hey, stop, hey!
You think these walls
are too yellow?
I could give it a coat
with a lighter-colored paint.
You know?
Look, Ma,
she's about to fall over.
Ooh!
Ooh, you called
that one, Jackie.
You all right, Adam?
Even on vacation,
Sally's mind
is still on her job
at the dry cleaner's.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
- Hey.
- Oh!
You okay?
What's that?
You want to
show me that?
Brie.
Hey.
Hmm?
What's she doing?
Nothing.
She just does that.
I think he's trying to
tell you he wants you to put...
- You done with this, hon?
- Uh-huh.
Oh, honey,
don't worry about that.
I'll do it later, okay?
Aren't you going out
with your girls tonight?
Yeah, I guess I better
get dressed.
Yeah.
Go have fun.
Cheers it, cheers it.
Yeah.
Mmm...
Gross.
Mmm...
This one's on the house.
My house.
Drink wisely.
- Hi!
- Hi!
- Hey.
- Hey.
How you doing?
Hey, I'm Cara Lee.
Hi, I'm Kelli.
Cara Lee works at Lambert's
Chrysler Chevrolet now.
She moved down
from Chillicothe.
I live real close to you.
I met your kids and stuff
while you were gone.
- They are so great.
- Thanks.
I even watched them
for him once.
There was a plumbing
emergency or something.
Oh, that's really nice,
I appreciate it.
Yeah.
Well, good night.
Yeah, you too.
Who is that?
Oh, my God, she's just some girl
that works at Lambert's.
Don't do that now.
No, I gotta
get it even, stop it.
Ladies, woo!
These are for you.
These are from the bartender,
she's very proud of you, so...
Thanks.
Yeah, oh, yeah, check it out,
they're new, too.
Except you
have to go, "Whoo!"
Do you work here now?
No, no, no, I'm just... just...
just helping out, you know?
So, uh, so, uh...
So any of you ladies
got five bucks
for a guy
who really needs it?
Vonnie.
Oh, my God,
let us be, Vonnie, go away.
- Five bucks.
- Go away.
Bye.
What, is he, like,
a volunteer now?
How does... how does
my eyes look?
Good.
Ladies,
how you doing tonight?
- Hi.
- How are you?
Kelli.
What do you mean?
I came out the window,
I don't know.
- What window?
- The bathroom.
Come on, come on,
let's go back inside.
No, no, no, no, no.
I want to go home.
I am done.
I gotta go home.
Come on.
They say it helps...
it helps to talk about it.
What, who says that?
Come on, what,
Jerry Springer?
Kelli, come on.
Seriously.
Other people had it a lot worse
than I did, I promise you.
I mean, yeah, I saw...
some dead people and...
there's weird shit there.
You know?
Mostly I saw a giant
amount of supplies.
Did you ever see
a plane full of rubber gloves?
Nope.
But, yeah...
there was
weird shit there.
Really, really weird shit.
There's like tons of dead
animals on the side of the road
and everybody knows somebody...
Anyway.
Now all the cups are where
the fucking plates should go
and it's...
weird.
Did you have an affair?
No!
Jesus, you guys and your stupid
fucking questions.
Some of... some of...
some of those
guys are hot.
Hey, party girl.
Hi, I made coffee.
Good for you.
- Yeah, I need it.
- Yeah.
Oh...
Did you sleep with
the kids again last night?
Mm-hmm.
Doesn't that hurt
your back?
Eh...
A little.
Well, you know,
the bed's nice.
You might like it.
Well, you better
snap to it, soldier.
Eh!
Mike.
Oh, you're killing me.
Rough night?
This is fucking stupid.
What?
It's just
a giant waste of time.
I can't do it anymore.
- What do you mean?
- I just can't do it.
End of this month, it's gonna be
too late, you've gotta get...
Wait.
I can't.
What do you mean, what?
I can't.
What, Kelli?
What?
What, it can't even wait for me
to get off the phone?
- I just can't do it.
- What can't you do?
You can't do inventory,
or shipping?
What'd I do?
What, did Ed say
something wrong?
Suddenly you're
the sensitive type?
I didn't say anything.
Nah, it's not that.
I've kept your job
open for a year,
you've been
working for me for 12 years.
I would like to know
the reason.
You're just upset.
Whoo!
Hee-hee!
Finally, babe,
people in this town
need some goddamn
plumbing done.
Yeah!
Underground routing at
Goodwin's Car Wash.
Underground, baby.
It's leaking, it's all shot
to shit, and they know it.
They know it's
gonna cost them, too.
I tried to tell them about,
like, I'm sorry for 'em,
y'know, real serious,
like I was worried about 'em,
but they said yes!
All new pipes!
How was your day,
how's work?
Ahh... No, I got it.
- I took the day off.
- Yeah.
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
It's a whole...
it's a whole underground system.
I mean, it could take two weeks,
serious billable cash.
How come you
didn't go to work?
No reason.
Personal day.
Yeah.
Yeah, you could use it.
Yeah.
Goddamn,
I gotta get a beer.
Hey.
Finally got
the girls to sleep.
Boy.
You all right?
Can I ask you
some stuff?
Yeah.
Okay, what kind of stuff?
Well, you know, Shannon's been
real worried about you.
And...
Well, I just want you to
know that...
I don't know, if...
if you did do something
over there,
or saw something
or did something
of a personal nature...
A personal nature?
Well, I just would
rather know, okay?
I would rather know if you did,
I'm not saying you did.
Whatever.
I just... I know all kinds of
things can happen...
... like with your
unit or anything.
Well, Shannon, sure as shit,
wouldn't understand anything.
I can tell you that
right now.
What, Kel,
understand what?
Nothing.
So that's it?
Yeah.
All right.
All right, there is
this one thing
that I didn't tell you about
that I should have told you
about before.
I don't know,
I, uh, I just found...
I just... it's stupid, but I
just... I couldn't do it anymore,
so... I quit.
You quit what,
quit the Guard?
No, no, no, no, no,
I still have that.
I just...
At the warehouse.
I quit.
You quit your job?
Yeah, it's not
my fault, I...
How is it not your fault?
It just doesn't mean anything,
you know, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter?
- Really?
- No, that came out wrong.
Kel, listen.
I've been playing
Mr. Mom over here, okay,
covered in fucking puke
and baby shit
and we can't sit around
and hope that some asshole
gets enough hair in his shower
and needs me to come over
and snake it out.
It does matter.
I think it matters.
You have no plan, okay?
You need to
get a plan.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Come on.
A man can't
kiss his own wife?
- Come on.
- No...
No, I'm sorry,
this is not true.
This is not
even a topic anymore.
- We all agree on this...
- Yeah, we agree but we don't.
I'm actually just calling
to let you know about
a very special offer.
I'm in Ohio.
Uh-huh.
Oh, no, ma'am.
Yes, I do know where Bangalore
is, and I am not there.
I'm here in the USA.
And I'm just calling to let you
know about an excellent value
on deep carpet shampooing.
Build your new deck,
home addition,
whole building or garage
and we offer the largest
selection of
all colors and models of
garage doors and openers.
Call to arrange your free
estimate today
and receive free gutters and
downspouts with any building.
See you later.
Bye.
... Portage, Summit
and Stark Counties since 1995.
The most fantastic...
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
Don't you think it's
a little much,
just hanging out
in the living room all day?
It's okay.
It might be fine to get a job
outside the house, you know?
Yeah, like where?
Hmm.
Stop.
No!
- Come on.
- Huh?
Whoo!
Stop!
Stop, Michael!
I don't like it.
You don't like it,
you don't like it?
Oh, yeah,
what about this?
Stop.
Stop it.
All right,
stop it, come on.
Stop.
- Stop!
- All right.
- God.
- Sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- No.
- I'm sorry.
- No.
Sorry.
I don't know.
Hello.
Looking pretty empty
in here.
Oh, yeah.
Hi, Kel, how are you?
I'd like to come back
and work for you, sir.
And I've been thinking very long
and hard about my behavior,
and I sincerely
do apologize for how I acted
and I can understand
if you're mad.
I really need a job.
Yeah, well...
Come here, I want to
show you something.
I didn't think it
would happen so fast.
We got a buyer for the land
and it's not a lot.
Pays better than
ventilators, so, uh...
so we're selling it off.
I mean, everything, too.
Everything's sold,
even the shelves.
I don't who, but...
So it's just down to
me and Ed now.
It's pretty far down.
Yeah.
There's something else
I want to show you.
Come on over here.
Well...
hopefully you could
sell those, too.
Are those yours?
Yeah, mm-hmm.
Yeah, my... my wife won't let me
have them at home.
Do people
even buy pigeons?
Yeah, well, you know, I...
I figured you can
figure it out.
All right.
What was
your technique?
Well, the first one,
I think I took two bites of
and I just was
eating as fast as I could
and then I remembered
about the dipping
because I had read online that
that's what they do in the...
The hot dog-eating
contest, right, right.
Well, the dipping makes
it more mushy,
like a pile of chocolate mush
so it's easier to just swallow,
so you just...
You can
almost drink it.
- Yeah.
- Well, Nancy...
Your... her name is
Nancy Cummings.
You still hold the record of
Congratulations.
- Yay!
- Why thank you very much.
So proud.
- All right.
- Okay.
You're a failure to...
Hey.
You left the door
wide open.
- I saw your van.
- What about it?
I saw your van today.
Hey, Kel,
we were just talking.
Really?
What are you
talking about?
Huh?
You talking about me?
No.
Oh, my God.
I thought you were
just fucking her,
but you're
talking to her, too.
Holy shit.
Kel, come on!
You know what, maybe...
I'm... I'm... I'm gonna go stay
with my mother...
for a while.
But I told the cops
exactly who it was.
It's goddamn Travis
across the street.
I mean, he will come right up to
you and ask for money.
I wouldn't be surprised
if I came home one day
and Robbie's
PlayStation was gone.
But they didn't take that much
from Peggy's,
they just... they
trashed everything.
Maybe you should
answer it.
It's just Mike.
Maybe it's important,
he keeps calling you.
He's sleeping with that girl
from the car place.
He's gonna stay at his mom's
for a little while.
I'm so sorry, Kelli.
You all right?
What happened?
Um, I...
You hurt?
No?
Why don't you come on out and
come on to the back of my car?
You all right?
Well, they say you get your
license back eventually.
That's not what he said.
All right, let's talk about
this tomorrow, okay?
You got to get your shit
together, my mom's in there.
I thought you were gonna go and
stay at your mom's house.
And do what
with the kids?
You never came home.
He said I can go to
some kind of
fucking clinic
instead of jail.
Kelli, what are you doing?
I'm rolling up
the window.
That's not my fault.
Okay.
You're welcome.
Mm-hmm.
Uh-huh...
Yeah.
Six, seven...
Uh-huh.
Can I call you back?
Hi.
I'd like to
get my...
window fixed on my car.
Okay.
Um, make and model?
'95 Escort station wagon.
I need a passenger glass
on a '95 Escort...
Station wagon.
It's a rush order.
It's not a rush order.
I'm not in
any hurry.
You know, I think you'd be
eligible for
the military discount.
No.
I don't want
any charity.
It's a really good deal.
Can I get a manager over here
to authorize
the military discount?
- I said I don't want it.
- Okay.
Okay?
I don't need any handouts.
All right.
Just your credit card then.
See, I gotta find one
that's not broken.
Where... where...
where you been?
Getting my shit done.
Not that you care.
- Look.
- What?
I got the car
fixed at Lambert's.
No big deal.
Hi, baby, hi.
Where's Jackie?
She's at church group.
Kelli, it's Tuesday.
Church group's on Monday.
- Shit.
- Yeah.
Jackie!
Oh!
You okay, baby?
Hi.
Thank you for
finding her.
Why weren't
they watching you?
I thought I could walk.
I'm big.
No, baby, you're not big.
Appreciate it, sir.
Come on.
Let's go home.
Well, do you
live here or not?
Because every time I come home
or I wake up, you're here.
What are you doing?
You can't take all
Brie's dishes.
What's she gonna eat off of?
I'm gonna take them
for now, okay?
Just temporary.
And I'm letting you have them
unsupervised on the weekends
if you promise to focus,
you know, unless any more of
this bullshit happens.
You're letting me?
Yeah.
Emergency?
What the fuck is this,
when did you get this?
Why would you
say it's an emergency?
It's just what they call
the order or whatever.
Okay, just calm down.
Yeah, you wouldn't know
an emergency
if it hit you
in the fucking ass.
Are you fucking kidding me?
What the hell
is wrong with you?
You left our child on the street
by Thompson Field.
Do you know who
hangs out down around there?
You're lucky she was still there
when you got back.
You're lucky the cops
didn't take her from you
right then and there, okay?
I mean, half the time you just
walk around staring at the floor
like a freaking zombie.
At least I'm not fucking
the Lambert lady!
Nobody gives a shit
about the Lambert's lady.
You're here, okay?
You're back!
Be a goddamned mother!
Jesus.
Hi, um, I'm Kelli.
Hi, Kelli.
Kelli, do you want to
take this time to admit that
you're powerless
before alcohol?
Uh, I...
I don't know.
Why are you here?
Because I got a DUI.
But I, uh...
I'm... happy to be here
and to see people taking control
of their own lives...
you know?
Okay.
Hi, I'm Andrea.
Hi, Andrea.
It's not gonna be,
like, crazy blonde, right?
Nah, I'm just doing pieces.
You just here for
the three days?
Yeah, I guess.
I guess I got to go back.
You got a husband?
It's kind of hard to
say right now.
- Uh-oh.
- Yeah.
He's trying to take my kids.
I guess he got
really used to me being gone.
Where'd you go?
Uh, I was deployed.
Whoa.
That sucks,
and now he's leaving you?
Yup.
What were you doing there?
Re-supply.
I was mostly on
the base hospital.
Yeah...
A lot of people
had it a lot worse.
You still love him?
It's weird.
I don't know.
I just, I really want things
just to be like they were
before I left.
Oh, wow.
That ain't gonna happen.
You don't even
know him.
I know, but that
just never happens.
Except for that one time
when Superman flew around
the world backwards
and that was just a movie.
I mean, that's what Franklin
says in group all the time.
I know he can be a dick,
but he's right about that.
Think about it.
Okay.
- Sorry.
- That's okay.
It's just you don't know shit
about my family, okay?
I know, you're right.
Okay if I start you?
So you definitely
don't want to use it
to avoid hearing what people are
telling you, though, you know?
Okay.
Bud?
I pass.
Kelli, what about you?
Um...
Well...
some stuff in my life
really sucks right now
and, uh...
I shouldn't have gone on
a bender but... I did.
Okay.
Well, first, I'd like to
make an observation.
I observe that,
for a lot of us,
not just Kelli,
we're using alcohol and drugs
to respond to something else
that happened in our lives.
And a lot of times, if we can
just deal with our lives,
it can help us
in our recovery.
So, Kelli, I would invite you
to talk to us about
whatever stuff that "sucks,"
as you put it.
Well, um...
things haven't been the same
since I got back from the war
and...
my husband is leaving me...
and that's why I got
real drunk
and got a DUI,
but, um...
now he is taking
my kids...
and that's the worst part.
You know?
And all this stuff
causes you to drink.
I don't know, I mean, a little,
maybe, but...
I got a DUI, so...
You know, it can be
an important step
to talk through
whatever challenges or traumas
you might have encountered
over there.
Kelli.
Telling your trauma
is an important step.
I don't really
have a story for you.
- Which step is it?
- I beg your pardon?
Which step, which step
is it of the 12?
Well, it's not really one of
the steps, strictly speaking.
Mm-hmm.
You ever fight?
Me? No.
Well, I'll tell you something,
next time I get a DUI,
I'm taking jail time,
because you don't know shit
about what she's talking about.
Bye, babe.
Bye.
How long you staying?
You know, as long as they'll
have me,
but I'm mandatory
three more weeks.
They give you back
all your stuff?
Yeah.
Thanks.
Look, darling.
I'm not a cop or anything,
but you shouldn't be driving.
I know you got
six months suspension
or you wouldn't be here.
You got to be squeaky clean
for the custody stuff.
You know, you walk in,
you file your thing,
you walk out.
You go to family court, I want
to see you walking in there.
Don't want to get
arrested before that.
You got to stay in
the present, babe!
Hi.
Okay, it's $12
for processing
and I need to see
your license.
Can you tell me
where the office
for family court is, please?
It's upstairs and to
your right.
Okay.
You've completed your
alternative to incarceration.
You're eligible to get your
license back in six months,
provided you have
no further offenses.
And since you can't drive,
you shouldn't have
any more offenses.
Are you okay?
We got mobilization orders.
I beg your pardon?
I have to go back.
All right, so...
be real good for
your mom, okay?
She's had a rough time.
Okay?
All right.
All right then.
I love you.
I love you, too.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
I love you.
Hi!
Hey, guys.
Come in.
Your hair looks brighter.
Yeah, yeah.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm okay.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Look at you.
Let's make a mummy.
First, let you out, Jackie.
Come on,
we don't want to be late.
Close this one, lock it.
All right, away we go.
Okay.
- Wanna play a game?
- Sure.
What do you want to play?
Let's walk like
Frankenstein.
Walk like Frankenstein?
All right.
Ready?
Friend...
Okay, now how about
like a hunchie?
Na, na, na.
Okay, how about like
a ballerina?
- A ballerina?
- Yeah.
Five, six, seven, eight,
lean, one, two,
shake,
three, four, turn,
five, six,
step, seven, head whip.
Hold it... eight.
All right, you guys look
awesome, good job.
What's with the sheet?
She's a mummy.
Hey, little mummy.
Hi!
Come here, little mummy.
Come on, honey,
get in the car.
Can I stay with Mom?
No, it's not her day.
I'll see you on
Friday, okay?
You did good today.
Fuck you!
Sorry, babe.
No, I...
Sorry.
I was gonna
give you a ride.
You live downtown?
Uh... yeah.
Come on.
All right.
How'd you get
your license back?
Look at that bullshit.
Taking that lady's money
for nothing.
What a fucking racket.
Look at those two.
They're obviously pigging out
on some...
doughnuts or cheap shit.
Skinny ones going home
and throwing it up.
The fat one maybe should.
Then they got to
eventually come back there
spend even more money
to work it off.
Yeah, that's fucked up.
Well, you must have gotten some
perspective
while we were there anyway
about whether you can fit your
ass into a pair of pants or not.
Oh, I fit my ass
in a pair of pants.
Yeah, I actually noticed
that before.
You don't mind my saying so.
Jesus Christ,
it must suck coming home
with all these fucking Oprah
assholes up your ass.
You know when I came back,
nobody gave a shit.
Nobody said a word...
which sucked,
in its own way,
but at least there wasn't
anybody up my ass,
trying to get me to tell 'em
what was it over there that
happened that made
you the kind of person
who would walk his fucking cat
on a leash.
Hmm, wow.
I'm called back.
Oh, shit.
Before my custody hearing.
Oh, fuck.
That sucks.
My uncle used to know
some Quakers.
Word was, back in the day,
they could
run you up to Canada.
I don't know but that's
what they say.
Hey, you like, uh, venison?
'Cause I got about
two freezers full of it.
I got a blind about a mile
from my house.
What do you say?
Why the fuck not?
The john's outside.
How do you get
electricity in here?
I stole a line from the county.
I run the fridge
and the deep freeze
and pretty much everything
off that.
No plumbing, however.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
I used to have a solar panel,
for a while.
Some days you have
juice, some days you don't.
Cloudy days I'd be reading
by the fridge light.
Bunch of meth heads
down there.
That shit will fuck you up.
Yeah, well, I know you're
into the pure living.
You hungry?
And then they do this...
Oh, they do
this move...
and I gotta, I got to put
that down, it's like...
And it's just like a bunch of
six-year-old little kids
doing it,
and it's ridiculous.
It's like...
Yes, but then
you turn around...
- Terrible.
- ... and it's, like, two girls
doing it like this
to each other.
And it's so...
Oh...
Were you a cheerleader?
No, God no.
I...
Well, I like to dance
or whatever,
but not for the whole town.
You want to
show me some cheers?
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
No!
Come on,
show me some cheers.
Show me some cheers.
You show me
some cheers.
I will show you one more thing
that she did.
She...
And the woman
who teaches them is hilarious
because she loves it so much.
And at the end of the cheer,
at the end of like every cheer,
they do this...
And they look real serious.
Aw, she's cute, though,
she is really cute.
So you joined 'cause...
so they'd pay for college?
Yeah, college,
but also, when I was
a little kid, my aunt,
she lived in Adams County
and they had this huge tornado
and they sent the Guard in,
and they were so cool.
That's why
you went in?
Yes, originally.
Tornadoes.
Yeah, a lot of people in my unit
joined for stuff like that.
That's rainwater.
That's gross.
It's clean.
If you boil it.
- Really.
- All right, if you say so.
Anyway, and then I never
finished college.
So...
Oh...
- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm.
What about you?
My, uh, lawn mower
ran out of gas.
Come on, seriously.
It was one of those loud
pull-start lawn mowers
and it ran out of gas,
so the engine cut out...
and if it had kept going,
I would have kept mowing.
But it shut down, and I heard
the phone ring.
Plus, the glass door was open
and the air conditioning
wasn't on.
So because of all those things,
I went inside
and answered the phone.
And?
And...
it was the army recruiter.
I can pull out.
No, no, no, don't.
- I can do it.
- Don't.
Don't, don't, don't.
I want it, I want it.
I want it!
I like your coffee thing,
it's cool.
Thanks, babe.
- Do you want some?
- Mm-hmm.
Here you go.
What is that?
Oxy.
You have a bad back
or something?
Eh, not so much.
These are...
just the pinks.
You can eat them,
but you got to
eat a lot of these.
Crushing them is better.
Turns your snot pink
but it's worth it.
I gotta... get home.
Think I can
walk from here?
Uh, I can take you.
You can just wait
a little while.
I'll be good in like a...
like an hour?
Hey, Travis.
I thought you
and Mike broke up.
Just give me my
fucking change.
You seeing anyone?
Not yet.
Take care.
"Pointing downward,
replace over cap
and lay stick on a flat surface
with result window facing up."
Okay, I did that.
You gotta let the hormones
build up in there, Kel.
It takes a second.
Okay, so one line is pregnant
and two lines is
not pregnant, right?
Ew, your pee is all over
that thing.
Oh, fuck, Shannon.
I can't believe you have
two kids already.
Yeah, well, if I want to
keep them, then I gotta be here,
I can't be in some
fucking sandbox.
Are you being serious?
What the fuck happened to you
over there?
You're acting crazy.
No, I'm not.
Nothing happened to me.
I don't believe you.
Yeah?
Well, a lot of people
had it a lot worse.
You know, I didn't
get raped in a Porta-Potty,
I didn't have to fucking carry
a dead body,
and I didn't get
blown up by an IED,
so I consider myself
pretty lucky
because that's what
happens over there, Brooke.
Yeah, well, something's wrong
because you're standing in
a bar bathroom,
checking every five seconds
to see if you're pregnant yet,
which is the worst idea
I have ever heard.
It would work.
You know?
It would work at least
for a little bit.
Hey, stranger.
Hey.
- Hi, how are you?
- Hi.
I'm good.
You look good.
Yeah.
Hey, where are the kids?
Well, then you know what,
this is not funny, Mike.
I'm here waiting for them.
Yeah, well, it's basically
against the law
if you don't
give them to me.
It's like fucking
kidnapping.
Fine, I'll be right there.
This is a plumbing emergency?
Well, yeah, they're having
a big party
and they got
rust in their fountain.
Is it heated?
Yeah, it's hot enough.
They're all packed
and ready to go.
They had lunch, so...
You look good.
Yeah, I'm happy
to see my kids.
You seem real good.
I'm fine.
Hi, Mom.
All right, honey,
here, take your stuff.
Let's get going.
Come on, Brie.
Time to go.
Ready to go with Mama?
All right.
- Got everything?
- Yup.
What?
Nothing.
You girls say goodbye
to your dad.
- Bye, Dad.
- Bye, honey.
You know, I think this will
look good with your eyes.
Well, that's good.
Jackie...
now you're gonna be the only
one who doesn't have dark hair.
Aren't you gonna wish
you had brown hair?
No, I like my hair blonde.
I don't know, it'd be kind of
fun if we all matched.
Don't you think?
Okay.
Well, hair dye
is for grownups, babe.
No, it's okay.
Yeah, she can have it.
Okay.
Come on.
Oh...
Oh.
All right, we have to
get your hair wet.
Can you go on
your tippy toes?
You have very pretty hair.
... for hardworking men.
It's just what you need after
a day of assembling
flat-packed furniture...
We like old-school hip-hop
and R&B on 97.7.
Is old school
like school for old people?
Not really.
Where are we going?
North.
Will we be back
in time for school?
I thought you hated school.
Well, not Ms. Riley.
I don't hate her.
And not recess.
And I love cheering.
And math.
Next week
we have a math test.
And it's Spirit Week, which
means very exiting stuff.
Like what kind of stuff?
Like pyramids, for example.
I'm very important to
the pyramids.
Bye, baby.
You like your
brown hair?
Yeah?
You keep it under this hat,
okay, until I drive away?
I love you so much.
I love you.
Be a big girl, okay?
Your attention, please.
America West paging
Henry Douglas, Henry Douglas,
please meet your party
at the lower level
by baggage carousel two.
May I have your
attention, please?
In a few minutes, we'll
begin boarding Flight 1919...
# Oh me oh my oh #
# Look at Miss Ohio #
# She's running around
with her ragtop down #
# She says I want to do right
but not right now #
# Gonna drive to
Atlanta #
# And live out
this fantasy #
# Running around
with the ragtop down #
# Yeah I wanna do right
but not right now #
# Had your arm
around her shoulder #
# A regimental soldier #
# And Mama starts pushing
that wedding gown #
# Yeah you wanna do right
but not right now #
# Oh me oh my oh #
# Would ya look
at Miss Ohio #
# She's running around
with the ragtop down #
# She says I wanna do right
but not right now #
# I know all about it #
# So you don't
have to shout it #
# I'm gonna straighten it
out somehow #
# Yeah I wanna do right
but not right now #
# Oh me oh my oh #
# Look at Miss Ohio #
# She's running around with
her ragtop down #
# She says I wanna do right
but not right now #
# Oh I wanna do right
but not right now ##