Yes, mama!
I love you, ricki!
- Ricki! I love you, ricki!
- Heh-heh-heh.
Thanks, everybody.
Thank you, my sweet Daniel.
- I adore you.
- Aw.
Good evening, tarzana!
- I owe 10?
- That was tom petty.
"American girl" from 197...
What was it, Greg?
'77. Yeah.
'77. Wow.
And, you know, I am proud
to be an American girl
born in the best country
in the world.
I know you're proud too, Walt.
Thank you, ma'am.
Yes, sir. Too bad
things aren't being run
very well these days.
Anyway, I'm ricki rendazzo,
and I'd like to take this minute
to introduce my band, the flash.
We've been the house band here
at the salt well since 2008.
Yeah, that was the year
we elected you-know-who.
No offense, Billy.
Ha-ha-ha. Whoa!
Yeah, we joke around.
Anyway, speaking of Billy,
he's the man on keys.
The great Billy lambert.
- And we got buster frye on bass.
- Buster.
- Mr. Joey sweeney on the drums.
- Ow!
Newly single, ladies.
- Call me, Joe.
- And finally...
My right hand man,
Mr. Greg sandoval,
- and his sweet Gibson sg.
- Yeah.
Whoo!
And, you know, uh...
I've been told it's not good
to date someone in the band
but honestly, I don't think
it's hurting our sound, right?
- We're not really dating, Greg.
- Oh.
Excuse me, is that not
the correct terminology?
Are we hooking up
like my kid says, right?
- Yes.
- Yeah, yeah.
Well, we've been spending
some time together, yeah.
I spend time with buster.
I think you and I are different.
Shit, I hope so. Shit.
Okay, I think this is
a conversation for backstage.
So let's just round it up, okay?
We learned a tune since
our last gig at the salt well.
Because some of you have asked
for more of today's hits.
Yeah. Yeah.
- And we aim to please. Okay.
- Whoo!
Come on, come on.
Here you go, ricki.
Margarita for my queen.
Oh. Thank you, darling.
Yes, of course.
Hey, Danny, I'm sorry
I couldn't talk before the gig.
Vocal rest. Oh, please.
Vocal rest? She thinks this is
Madison square garden. Ha-ha-ha.
Hey, i... Joe: Great set, man.
I take things seriously, that's all.
I know. I love that about you.
I'm sorry that I, um...
Sorry about what I said onstage.
That was just some fun banter.
Heh, heh.
You know, the crowd loves
that drama and tension. Yeah?
Good one. Thanks, boy.
That was just, uh...
Anyway, that was what made
fleetwood Mac really popular.
- Okay.
- Your purse is vibrating.
If she moved with me, she
wouldn't need that kind of thing.
It's probably my manager.
He's, like, 17.
Three-one-seven.
Where's that? Bufu Egypt?
It's Indianapolis. Hm.
It's a telemarketer.
I once got an Old Navy credit
card. It haunts me to this day.
Our barista Maxine
has delicious,
dairy-free, premium.
Good morning. Hey.
Good morning to you.
Hey.
It's ringing up. Okay.
That's the way it goes. One.
Okay, that's 447.74. Ouch.
I guess that's why they call it
"total paycheck."
Well, that actually is truly
my total paycheck. Heh, heh.
Four forty-seven, seventy-four.
That's about
what I make in a week. Heh.
How about that? Ooh.
And you'd like $150 cash back.
Yes, please.
Can an associate meet
a customer in frozen foods?
There you go.
There's your receipt.
Thank you.
Thank you so much, sir.
Have a good day.
Let me know how you like those
protein cookies. Yeah, right.
Hey.
You alienated the customer.
I... I need you to satisfy
and delight the customer.
Okay. I'm sorry, Troy.
No, it's okay.
Just remember, gratitude.
- Cool. Thanks. Hi.
- Hi.
Thanks.
Come on.
- Hello.
- Linda?
You actually picked up.
I was expecting
maybe you'd gotten, you know,
another new phone number.
I'm sorry. I don't have...
I can't figure out how to set up
the message box thing.
You know me. Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
What's the problem, Pete?
It's Julie. Max left her.
Where'd he go?
"Where'd he go?"
He left her. He's divorcing her.
He met someone new.
How is Julie?
Well, that's
really why I'm calling you.
She's not well.
She's absolutely unhinged.
She's been here at the house
now for a few days.
She hasn't changed her clothes,
she hasn't showered.
Uh, she's a wreck. I'm worried.
Okay. How is your wife
handling all this?
Maureen is in Seattle
visiting her father.
He is failing. Oh, right.
He has Alzheimer's.
No, it's als.
Yeah, that's short
for Alzheimer's, right?
No, it's not.
Okay, so how can I help?
Well, um...
You could be there
for your daughter.
Linda?
Oh, yeah.
Please have ids
and tickets ready to view.
Belts and shoes off, please.
If you have a laptop, please
put it in a bin by itself.
Please take
your keys, cell phones
and metal objects
out of your pockets.
With a little spit and shine
we'll be fine
who are you dropping off?
Uh, ricki rendazzo.
And you're here to see?
The brummels. Pete brummel.
Can I see some ID?
What? ID, ma'am.
Here you go.
Thank you.
This says "Linda."
Yeah, that's my given name,
but Pete knows that
I prefer to go by ricki,
so I'm sure he'll
probably... here you are.
Linda brummel.
Oh.
I don't have any money.
Let me.
Here. I'll get those.
Hey, who is this?
Is this ralphie?
No, that's sigma.
Ralphie passed away
a few years ago.
Excess bloat. Aw.
Well, then we're new
to each other, huh?
How was your flight?
It was fine, but travel
has really changed
since we took
the kids to disneyworld.
That was 1988.
Yeah. No, I just mean, you know.
I remember when flying
was a treat.
People got dressed up even.
Now I see these young girls
in the airport
in their jammy bottoms.
Yeah. Well, I can see
you still put in the effort.
Thanks, Pete.
This is some place.
This is like a mansion.
Thanks. Yeah, well,
double-height entry
and Maureen had
to have palladian windows,
so we put those in.
Very classical.
Yeah. I feel like
Jefferson at monticello.
I'll go tell Julie you're here.
Heh, heh.
Okay. I'll just
have a look around.
Okay. Julie?
Oh, my god.
Look at this place.
Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
Mm. My, my, my...
Wow.
Man.
Uh, Julie's pretty tired.
But she's glad you're here
and looks forward to seeing
you in the morning.
Wrong. No, no, no.
Julie is not
looking forward to shit!
Hey, ju-jee.
Nice of you to grace us
with your presence.
Couldn't make the wedding,
but here you are
right in time for the divorce.
Okay. Nobody wanted me
at that wedding.
Do you have a gig
or do you always dress
like a hooker from night court?
Going through a separation,
it can be a crazy time.
I'm not crazy, dad.
I've actually
never felt such clarity.
Well, there's actually a book
called crazy time.
Oh, shut up, Pete!
Honey, listen.
This whole thing
is not a big deal.
I read something in parade magazine.
No big deal?
A lot of women your age having
starter marriages and...
This was not
a "starter" marriage.
I was gonna marry Max,
stay with him, have his kids,
and actually raise them
to adulthood.
Oh, okay. Julie,
just take it easy.
Why are you defending her?
- She is your Max.
- What?
She walked out on you...
Hey, no.
Just like Max walked out on me.
But I was
never unfaithful, Julie.
Ju-jee.
So, um...
We'll try again in the morning.
Yeah, of course.
I'll, uh, give you
a ride to the hotel.
Oh...
Oh. Ha-ha-ha.
I... I'm so sorry.
I could hardly afford
the plane ticket, you know?
And, uh...
Well, you know, I lost my car.
Yeah.
I'm filing for chapter 11.
I know.
So I just thought since you and
Maureen built this big, new house
that it wouldn't be a problem.
It's not a problem, space-wise.
It's, uh...
It's just...
I don't know, a boundary thing.
But it's fine. Mm.
Hope Maureen doesn't mind.
No, mo's very chill.
I'm the one that tends to get
worked up about certain things.
Maybe Julie gets that from you.
The bathroom is en suite.
Oh. Okay.
So, um, welcome.
Sigma, come.
Come.
I trained her myself.
Heh-heh-heh.
Okay, well...
Welcome. Okay.
Good night, Linda.
Good night, Pete.
Linda.
Linda! Huh?
I was a real bitch
last night, huh?
Well, it was late. Heh.
My therapist has me on Effexor,
and we need to titrate
down a little bit
because it's made me
volatile, anorgasmic.
You're having orgasms?
Anorgasmic. "An" means "not."
It's Latin. Oh, i...
Yeah, I know. I knew that.
I just didn't hear you.
What time is it? It's almost 10.
Blowing up here, mom.
Who's Greg?
He's the lead guitarist
in the flash.
The flash?
My band, the flash.
I sent you the Facebook page
a long time ago, remember?
Give me the phone.
He calls you "babe."
Yeah, that's an L.A. thing.
Uh-huh. He also makes copious
use of the smiley face emoji.
As well as the cat
with the hearts for eyes.
How long has Greg
been getting it in?
Hey, let's go to krupke's.
I need a doughnut.
Uh, I don't have any money.
You have a credit card?
Yeah, but it's linked
to Max's account.
Oh, that's not a problem.
Hop in.
'Cause you're really not
that fragile so walk on
you know, it's hard
to find a good cruller
in California. Heh, heh.
I guess you got to give up a lot
of special things
to become a rock star.
Crullers were the least of it.
Yeah, Linda,
that was the subtext.
Listen, honey, I came out here
because I wanted to help you.
I know you're
in shock right now, right?
And I know
you're probably feeling lost.
I tried to kill myself.
You... you...
Hm. Dad didn't mention that.
Oh. Really?
Three Fridays ago,
Max came home,
told me that he was in love
with a girl named Nicole
who works in traffic.
Julie... i thought for a
while about what to do,
and ultimately, I decided to...
Take a bunch of sleeping pills.
I had them on hand
because I'm an insomniac.
Like me.
And millions
of other Americans, yeah.
What are you doing?
I can't believe...
I can't believe you tried
to kill yourself.
Julie, you... you're precious.
Listen, a lot of horrible things
have happened to me
since you left.
Oh, don't.
This is just the incident you know about.
Excuse me.
Could you guys
take this outside?
What, are you listening in?
That is so midwestern.
Excuse me...
Hey, you can't raise kids
in a bubble, man.
I can enjoy my time with my kid
when it's my weekend.
Your weekend? Your weekend?
Maybe you should've tried
to stick it out with her mother
instead of leaving the second
that your boner wilted.
Let's go, journey. Come on.
Journey?
Ugh. Aw.
That's sweet.
I like that name.
Oh, you would.
It's a great band.
He lays this one
right down the center
of the fairway.
Unh! Oh.
You went to krupke's.
I was wondering where you went.
You bring one for me?
Nope.
She's eating.
Our child attempted
suicide and you didn't tell me?
I didn't... I didn't even find
out till the day after, okay?
And I was little more concerned
with Julie than ricki.
You should've
called and told me.
I did. That's why you're here.
I didn't realize
that she was suicidal.
I thought she was just depressed
because of Max leaving.
Depressed?
No, I could've managed that.
No, I'm...
Julie's always been a moody kid.
I wouldn't have even bothered
to call you.
Well, why not?
Because, Linda,
you don't really give a damn.
Yes, I do!
You shut me out of this family.
I shut you out? Yup.
You came back here
from California,
if you recall,
with a chip on your shoulder.
You were shut down.
Well, I did come back. Well...
You had moved on.
I had to move on.
I wanted the kids to have
a mother who was there!
It was my dream, man.
And stupid me.
I thought we were your dream.
I can't have two dreams?
No. In fact, Linda, you can't.
Hey, you guys are fighting.
It's like the '80s
all over again.
Too bad Adam and Josh aren't
here to relive the trauma.
Oh, good grief. Oh.
That's enough.
Speaking of, uh,
Josh and Adam, um...
I let both the boys know
that you came into town.
Oh, g...
Do they wanna see me? Josh does.
Adam doesn't.
In fact, they're up
for dinner this evening.
Josh is gonna bring
his girlfriend, Emily.
They've gotten pretty close.
- Mm. Is Adam bringing anybody?
- I...
I don't think so.
Well, I'll have
all my kids in one room.
What a treat. Yeah.
It should be really enjoyable.
Hey, here's ricki.
Oh, tell her we love her.
I gotta be careful with
the l-word. She's gun shy.
Oh, you'll get there.
Hey, babe.
So, uh, my daughter, Julie,
she apparently, uh...
She tried to kill herself
with sleeping pills.
Oh, man.
Yeah. Yeah. Whoa.
How is she?
Oh, no, no,
she's okay. She's okay.
But, uh...
I don't know what to say.
I mean, you know my son, Derek,
freaked out on acid
but it was an accident.
I blame myself.
No way.
Blame that punk
that cheated on her.
You got
on the first plane to Indiana
to be by her side.
You're a great mom.
Oh...
I'm seeing my boys tonight.
Oh, that's great.
Enjoy it, okay?
I'm scared. I'm just...
They're all grown up now. No.
No, you grow them,
you know them.
They're the same kids
whose diapers
you changed way back when.
Enjoy it.
Mr. brummel,
it's nice to see you.
Hi, Mabel. Nice to see you.
Thanks for squeezing us in.
Anytime.
Your party is waiting. Yup, follow me.
Oh, okay.
Five minutes late.
Yeah. So now we have to...
Here she comes.
Oh, boy.
Josh. Hey.
- Hi, mom.
- Aw.
Josh.
This is my girlfriend, Emily.
Hi.
It's a pleasure
to finally meet you, Linda.
Yeah. Hey, hey. That's
ricki rendazzo.
You're in the presence
of greatness. Don't forget.
Heh. Adam.
You look so handsome, sweetie.
Oh, thanks, mom.
Why don't you take that
seat? We can flank them.
Good to see you. Sorry we're late.
Yeah, you are.
Nice to see you're so punctual.
It's okay.
Can I get you some drinks?
Sir, would you like
another Martini?
Yeah. Why not? Keep 'em coming.
I'll just have water.
Me too, water.
With scotch.
So, um...
How is Maureen's father doing?
Oh, not well at all.
No, the disease is progressing
more rapidly than they'd
anticipated.
So you've met Maureen?
Yeah, of course.
Lots of times. Heh, heh.
Mo's great.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, she's...
Emily and I have been together
for almost two years.
- She's met the whole family.
- Yup.
Yeah. Em, why aren't
you wearing your ring?
Your engagement ring.
You two are engaged?
Yes.
Yup. Yeah.
Josh got Emily
this conflict-free diamond.
He proposed at the lake.
We were all there.
It was beyond gay.
- It was lovely. It was lovely.
- I'm happy for you.
So happy for you, honey.
Thank you.
Why didn't you tell me?
Well, we, uh, wanted to keep
things quiet for a while
so we could enjoy the
news privately. Oh.
But Julie said everybody
was at the proposal.
Did this just happen?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- No. No, it was...
- No. It was July 4th.
- Yeah.
So that was months.
Months ago.
We all know you're going through
something, but you're cray-cray.
We were planning on
telling you tonight in person.
Because I hadn't met you and...
Why don't you be honest,
and tell mom
that you don't want her
at the wedding?
Would you be interested in hearing our
appetizer specials? That is not true.
Yes. No.
We're practically eloping, mom.
Yeah, it's gonna be
very small, very green.
Not gonna be a big, formal
wedding like the one Julie had.
Thanks for referencing that.
Yeah, well, thanks for this.
I'm still having Ambien shits
from my suicide attempt.
You wanna talk about my wedding?
It's okay. Go ahead.
You know,
it won't hurt my feelings
if you decide to elope.
Your dad and I eloped.
It was great. Yes, it was.
Yeah. So, anyway, this is
wonderful, wonderful news.
- Thank you.
- Wonderful.
Hey, Adam, when are you gonna
settle down and get married?
Who wants some appetizers?
Mom, I'm gay, as you know.
You used to love the carpaccio.
And unfortunately,
many of my fellow gay men
still can't get married.
Well, I didn't mean
to a man necessarily.
Who would I marry, then? Well,
I thought you were bisexual?
That was my cover story
in college, like, 10 years ago.
I'm really sorry that you didn't
stay updated on my sexuality
but then again,
you didn't stay updated
on much of anything. Am I right?
Okay. Okay.
Now that I know that you decided
to say you're completely gay,
"decided"? You are such a homophobe.
I won't ask about it again.
This is what she does. She costumes
herself as this edgy rocker
who's cooler
than the other pta moms,
when in fact, she voted
for George w. Bush twice.
I support our troops.
And I'm the one
with the questionable lifestyle.
Huh? Meanwhile, she's running
around calling herself ricki.
Well, that's a name,
not a lifestyle.
I was born gay.
I was born ricki.
Touch.
This shit-show is making my day.
Is this whole thing a plea
for attention as per usual
or are you actually
a psychotic bitch?
Hey, don't you dare call
your sister psychotic!
Oh, my god, she's parenting.
Someone get a camera.
Just cool it. This...
Let's... look.
It's a very rare occasion
that we all
get together like this.
Your mother's here, right?
I mean, I know...
I know we've always had
some, you know, issues
and personality conflicts,
but what family hasn't? Yeah.
But we are a family, still.
You know, let's... we can put all
that crap behind us, can't we?
And just appreciate
the proximity.
I mean, at this moment,
the brummel family
and family-to-be
is proximal.
That's special
in itself, isn't it?
Thank you.
I would get a bottle of
champagne for the whole table.
No, but that's... but I
just filed for bankruptcy.
Describe to me how
it makes you...
Well, doc...
And thank you for asking.
It's not that I feel unbreakable
or even impenetrable.
It's just...
What is it? Come on, Angelo.
This is
a major breakthrough here.
There is a wonderful, old
Italian joke about a poor man.
You're still here?
Hey.
What are we gonna do today?
I have therapy at noon,
so I gotta go wash my dick
or I'll get another lecture
in personal care.
Why don't you skip therapy?
Just today.
Call in sick.
I am sick.
That's why I'm in therapy.
I mean, how often
am I here? Heh.
Never?
Honestly.
It's just a shampoo and trim.
You have really good hair.
You should, like, brush it.
She has my hair.
Ow! Unh!
Not more than half an inch.
I can feel
how much you're cutting.
Why are we
so attached to our hair?
Someday you're
gonna find a gray hair,
and I don't mean on your head.
No one wants to hear
about your steel wool, mom.
I look like nosferatu.
Oh, don't worry,
they file them down.
That's 190 on the card
and you can add whatever tip.
Let's leave a nice,
big one, shall we?
Hey.
Hey.
You look very nice.
Well... how?
I just made
a suggestion, you know?
She listens to me. Huh.
I was a bit of a jerk yesterday.
I'm sorry about that.
The market had... the...
Things have been really
stressful at the company.
Yeah, well, you work very hard.
I admire that.
You do? Yeah.
You used to call me
an uptight workaholic.
Yeah, honey.
I used to call you a lot of things.
Heh, heh.
But I changed, Pete.
I have.
I see that.
I mean, I've been
trying to get her
to change her clothes for days.
Well, sometimes a girl
just needs her mother.
I guess so.
- Here we go. Taste it.
- They changed it a little.
No, no, it's the same taste.
Why would they change it?
No. I don't know why.
Holy shit.
It's a recipe that has...
Oh, my god.
What? Nicole from traffic.
This is her car.
But you can't be sure.
No, I know.
She's got these stupid
stick figure thing...
Oh, baby.
Oh, she added Max. Oh, my god.
Let's not vandalize the car.
Come on.
Hey, hey! Let's just go home,
all right?
Let's go home.
No, no, no, Julie.
Please, Julie. Julie, wait.
Why did you walk out
on my daughter that way?
I made a mistake.
We got married young.
If you're too young
to be married
what makes you think
that you're ready
to raise Kenzie and krash?
It's Kash, and how do you
know my kids' names?
Everybody on highway 70
knows your kids' names.
Lady, you weren't even
at our wedding.
Julie hates you.
That may be. I have
to live with that every day.
You have to live
with the pain you caused.
You're the reason she's crazy.
Julie's not crazy.
Julie is grieving
over a very short marriage
to a man who turns out...
That's enough.
You two need to back off.
You. You know, it's one thing
to fall in love with somebody.
It's quite another to encourage
him to abandon his new wife
and then slapping
a sticker of him
on the back of your car
next to the dog.
Hey, I love my dog, okay?
Yeah? Now you have two.
Oh.
Whoo!
My heart is dead and rotten.
Don't say that.
No, a heart isn't something
that's like a steak,
you know, that spoils.
A heart is like a big Mac.
It just sits and sits and sits.
It gets older, yeah,
but it doesn't change.
What? You're saying that
a big Mac never goes bad?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Interesting. It lives forever.
I saw it on 60 minutes.
That's disgusting.
Huh. Well, hm, hm, hm...
But I say... yeah.
Yeah, i...
Pete: Everybody hitting the hay?
Dad. Yeah?
It's not even 9:00 P.M.
I don't think that
even oma is in bed.
Hey, Pete. Yeah?
Why is there pot
in your freezer?
Uh... it was a...
A coworker gave it to me
for my migraines.
Oh. Uh-huh. Which I still
get from time to time.
And it's in the freezer
because I read
that helps it
maintain its potency.
Dad is very efficient,
even with his stash.
I haven't even tried it.
What? No.
What? I mean, no migraines,
and, uh, I don't like
to lose my cool.
- Oh, okay. Ha-ha-ha.
Your what?
- Oh. Okay. Ha-ha-ha.
You don't think I'm cool.
Fine. All right.
All right, then
I got nothing to lose.
Ohhh, shit. Wow.
Takes a cold one to know one
whose song is that?
It's mine.
I wrote it.
You wrote that? A long time ago.
Damn, Linda.
Wow. I still have your album.
You do not.
Yeah, I got
a lot of stuff in the...
I got a rubbermaid
in the basement.
A rubbermaid? Ha-ha-ha.
Rubbermaid
is a very successful company.
Wow, Pete.
You have me in your rubbermaid.
Oh. Ah.
Oh, yeah, look at this. Oh, man.
- God. Ha-ha-ha.
Joshy. Ha-ha-ha.
- Look at you.
- Fanny pack.
We were pretty damn cute
as a family.
Silk night sky.
Here it is,
my one and only album.
- Yup.
- Oh, my god.
Look...
Do you think it would still fit me?
Oh, yeah.
- Should I try it on?
- Yeah.
Okay, goodbye.
Hey, where are you going?
- Bathroom.
- Yeah.
Don't kill yourself in there.
Pete. Oh, I can't believe it.
I didn't say that.
She didn't hear you.
Can't believe I said that.
Oh, my god.
And you notice, it smells nice.
It does.
Pete: She's gotta be here.
Julie?
There she is.
- Come on, sit down.
- No.
You're tired.
I'm not a bit tired. Out.
See?
You know that little thing
you gave me about Napoleon?
No, what?
By Robert g. Ingersoll?
Yeah.
Well, I'm not sure I get that.
Are you hungry?
Are you hungry?
You stay right there.
Arugula.
Nine-four-eight-eight-four.
You just know that
off the top of your...?
Boom. Is it...?
Yes, you are absolutely right.
Of course I'm right.
I know all the plu codes.
I ring stuff up all day long.
Hm...
Go ahead, try me.
Anything, anything, anything.
Bananas. Organic or regular?
Organic is
nine-four-two-three-seven.
Yes.
You're like a memorizing genius.
Yes.
You know, they say, like,
all kids are screwed up now.
It's the air or the radio waves
or the-the peanuts.
Hey, remember
that pediatrician, the one...
What was his name?
Fa... Dr. fa... farling.
Fena... fenamana. Fenan... fenan.
The guy in wheaton.
What about him?
That doctor. Remember,
he said joshy was hyperactive.
Turns out he was just drinking
too much pop.
Pop, yeah. Right?
They know nothing.
Yeah, they know nothing.
We know nothing.
She's gonna be fine.
She's gonna be fine.
I don't know.
Oh, yeah, she is.
This is...
No.
I'm eating that. I'm...
It's bad for you.
I don't care.
Hm.
Mm.
Pete.
Yeah?
Are you okay?
Uh-huh.
Are you sick?
No.
Did you just...?
Just wanna touch me?
Milk? Nine-four-oh-one-one.
Oh, my god. This is very good.
Yes.
It is so wrong.
- You all done?
- Yes.
Should I sit? Be my guest.
Is...? Who...? I don't understand.
Don't forget the crispy.
What? Is my bacon
not too crispy for you?
Of course it is. Not.
He means the French toast.
No, well, I'm not
gonna burn it. My goodness.
Although, my great grandmother used... oh.
There she is.
Hi, Maureen.
Oh, hi. Hi, there.
Well, you're just in time for.
Maureen's
famous brioche French toast.
How's your dad?
I thought you were in Seattle.
Oh, yeah, well,
thanks for asking.
Dad's plateaued at the moment,
and so they said I should
come back for the time being
and I didn't wanna be away
from my family.
Mo, uh... mo makes
the best breakfasts.
Oh, yes, that is all
I'm good for, right?
No, I didn't mean to say that.
Mm-hm.
So, anyway, I, uh...
I thought I would just take
the red-eye back last night,
and I got in at 6:00 this morning.
I feel like a hot mess.
You don't look like a hot mess.
Ha-ha-ha.
Linda, you're sweet. Do you,
uh...? You want some coffee?
Uh, mo makes,
really, the best coffee.
Thought her French toast
was the best.
Hard to decide what's best
when mo's cooking.
Come on, Linda. Sit down.
Have some breakfast.
No, I'm good, thanks.
I'm not really hungry. Ha, ha.
You sure? Yeah, I'm good.
Okay, well, suit yourself.
By the way,
you look good in my robe.
Keep it.
Okay.
I'm gonna go out
and make a little phone call.
Okay. Come on, you guys,
let's eat before it gets cold.
Okay. Uh, syrup? No, I have it.
Can I start? After you.
Hi.
Can we talk?
I'm practically naked right now.
I have five sisters.
I've seen a naked lady before.
Well, I just had a brother.
Killed in 'nam.
Oh, I didn't know.
So as you know, we're really
concerned about miss Julie.
She's gonna be
all right, you know?
She's always been
a fighter. Heh, heh.
Well, she's had to be.
Uh, right now, we are working
with her doctor to stabilize her
and she's on some meds
and she's been going
to therapy as well.
I don't like her
to miss a session.
Oh. I don't think one's
that big a deal.
I also understand
you gave her some marijuana.
No. Pete did.
It's Pete's marijuana.
For his headaches.
Yeah, we did smoke some.
It's a plant.
Okay. I just think that
maybe it's not great
for you to be here now.
You're always welcome
in our home.
And I know Pete thought
it would do Julie
some good to see you,
but I think what she needs
right now is normalcy.
Well, I got her
out of those pajamas,
and I got her hair done.
And I think she's doing a lot
better since I arrived.
Linda, hey, come on, please.
Please, don't be offended.
I'm just looking out for my kid.
Your kid?
Yeah, she's
your kid too, of course.
But, Linda, come on.
Let's... let's be real.
You haven't lived with her
since she was a little girl.
I was there for
the teen years and college.
She went to college
in Milwaukee!
Yeah, and who do you think
drove her ass there?
Who do you think helped her
put together her dorm furniture?
Or paid her bail
when she got that dui
or went to the
mother-daughter tea
at that god-awful white
sorority, huh?
Who do you think's
been doing all the mom stuff?
Look, Linda, I respect you
as the woman who gave her life.
But after you went to L.A.,
Christmas visits didn't cut it.
There was a hole in this family
and I filled it.
No, no, no.
I tried to come out here
to see them more,
but you always made it
so difficult.
"Oh, this isn't a good time
because we're doing sat prep."
Or, "joshy has an away game."
Or... yes, yes, you did.
You alienated my children
from me, Maureen.
You poisoned the relationship!
Are you serious right now?
Yeah, I am. Yeah.
Really?
You know
all those birthday gifts
and mother's day gifts
you got from the kids?
I paid for those. I sent them.
I'm the one who made sure
they didn't forget about you,
though they had reason to.
You should be kissing
my feet right now.
Bullshit!
Well...
I didn't want it
to go like this.
Well, that's how it's going.
Do you need help
paying for a flight back?
You wish.
Hey...
Pete's still in love with me.
I'm gonna let you have that.
I couldn't find Julie. Oh, okay.
Shuttles aren't so bad.
It's like sharing a taxi.
Yeah, it's great.
Thanks for, uh, calling.
It was nice to see you.
Ultimately, I think
it was good that you came.
Yeah, it was a real...
Uh, fly safely.
I have no control over that.
- No.
- Wait.
Okay. Later.
Yeah.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Whoo!
Gotta keep playing
r-r-r-r-r-rock 'n' roll, baby
whoo!
Yeah. Thanks.
That was
the amazing Edgar winter. Ahem.
And before that,
of course, the rolling stones.
Oh, Mick.
Yeah. Funny thing
about Mick Jagger.
He's got seven children
by four different women.
Do you believe that?
Get it, Mick! Ow!
Yeah. Yeah, busy guy, right?
Yes, ma'am.
Of course, he didn't
raise those kids.
He's a rock star.
And more importantly,
he's not the mother.
Daddy can do
whatever daddy wants.
Daddy can go make love
with whoever he wants.
He can take risks.
He can get hooked on drugs.
He can leave and...
Who cares? Some people get hurt.
As long as you get some great
songs out of it. Ha, ha.
Okay. Let's hear some of
those great songs right now.
- Whoo!
- Yeah.
Hey, by the way, though,
your kids will still respect
and they'll love you
because you're the man!
You know what I'm talking
about, girls? Yeah.
But if you're a woman, mm-mm.
God forbid you should forget
one school concert or you...
Or a wedding or...
Or you forget
to be the tooth fairy...
One time because you had a gig.
Congratulations,
you're a monster.
Okay, ricki,
I think that's enough.
You're scaring some guys here.
I felt my balls
suck up into my body.
Ow!
You didn't
need them anyway, Greg.
Ooh.
Yes, I actually do, Linda.
What did...? Excuse me?
What the hell are you doing?
Let's keep it tight,
people. Come on.
Oh, yeah. You're right,
you're right, buster.
What do we got up next?
We got pink.
Pink. Ooh. Pink.
Whoo! Pink. Let's get
this party started.
So you better
get this party started
so?
I'm sorry.
It's been a difficult week.
It's been a difficult few years,
but I still love you.
I can't say that?
Do I ever get to say that?
Do you love me?
Of course, I love you.
Of course, I do.
And I love buster and I love Joey.
Oh...
I don't mean do you love me like
Wendy loves
the goddamn lost boys.
I mean, do you love me?
What is your interest in me?
What do you...?
What? I don't get...
I'm old, I'm broke,
I can't cook a decent meal,
I'm getting fat.
Why would you love
a ruined person
who ruins other people, kids?
Is that it?
You think because
you screwed up once,
you don't get a second chance?
I cheated on my first wife
with a stripper
from the seventh veil
who was addicted
to codeine cough syrup.
My kids didn't forgive me.
They're still mad.
I get a calendar for Christmas.
Doesn't matter
if your kids love you.
It's not their job to love you.
It's your job to love them.
That's why you were put here.
That's why you're their mom.
That's why I'm my kids' dad.
I love my kids so much.
Don't you?
Yeah.
So you wanna just be friends?
Uh...
Mm-mm.
More? More.
Unh! Jesus.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, this rules.
Sorry.
Credit or debit?
Debit. Hundred dollars
cash back, please.
Okay.
There you go. Thank you.
Out of my way. Out of my way.
Okay.
Whoo!
Whoo!
Oh!
I love you, baby.
Come on, come on
let's work together
"dear, ricki.
"I'm sorry
about some of the words
"we exchanged during your visit.
"As you know,
it's a loaded topic,
"and we haven't had
many chances to talk about it.
"Please accept
this olive branch from me
"and I hope we can try again
on better terms.
"Enclosed, please find
something I feel
"you should've received
a long time ago.
"You're entitled to it.
"Hope to see you on the big day.
Maureen."
"Emily Anne. Joshua Hendrix."
I see a red door
and I want it painted black
"in lieu of a gift,
please make a donation
to one of the following
charities."
Oh, my god. That's crazy.
Who gets married
and doesn't milk it for free stuff?
My son.
There you go. Well, for my
wedding, I'm getting a waffle iron
and a panini maker and...
Ha, ha.
Hey, Joe. Hey, Joe.
"This invitation is embedded
with wildflower seeds
and can be planted."
That is bougie.
I thought you'd get a kick out of it.
Ha, ha. Yes. Yes.
You excited about the wedding, then?
I'm not going.
What? You gotta go.
It won't be sexy without you.
If I show up there,
something terrible will happen.
You don't know these people.
They despise me.
Anyway...
They don't know anything about
any part of this situation.
Okay, I hear you.
But sometimes
a boy needs his mama.
Even I need my mama sometimes
and she's literally Satan.
Thanks, Daniel, but I can't go.
I don't have the money.
Greg and I discussed it,
and we just can't do it.
We can't.
We don't have it.
Well, if I had it,
I'd give it to you.
I would gladly tithe
to the church of ricki.
Testes, one, two.
Get up there and sing. Yeah.
Come on. Come on.
- Ch-ch-ch...
- Here we go.
Ch-ch-ch. One, two,
one, two, three, four.
Come on, now.
Ow!
Thanks, everybody.
Whoo!
Where's your guitar?
I don't know. I felt like
playing this one.
What? You hate this guitar.
The banana. Ha-ha-ha.
Come on.
What's going on?
Where's your '68 Gibson?
I sold it.
You sold it? Why?
Yo, ricki! "Drift away"!
Yes, baby.
Oh, no!
Oh, my god!
I wanna get lost in your
rock 'n' roll and drift away
gorgeous.
Come on out, babe.
I look absurd.
I'm sure you look gorgeous.
I look like my mother.
Well, that's not possible.
Your mother's dead.
Oh, you look beautiful.
Come on,
that is the most amazing blue.
Looks like Roger daltrey's eyes
from Tommy.
Thanks.
Are you finished with these?
Yeah. Do you have
anything black?
Black? We'll take this one.
Okay. It looks nice.
How do you know
these tsa scanners
aren't government mind control?
These days, nothing would
surprise me.
See they made me
take my toe ring off?
I can't believe
that woman, Janet,
made me take
the Tequila out of my bag.
That was cabo wabo,
Sammy hagar's recipe.
Does he look like
a terrorist to you?
Told you,
you can't bring liquids.
There goes my wedding present.
It's good to be
on the road back home again
oh, I can't do this.
Can't do what?
I can't go to this wedding.
Big mistake.
Gotta call buster,
tell him we're
heading back to L.A.
No way. Come on, you're
the mother of the groom.
There's no understudy,
sweetheart.
I'm so scared.
Wow.
- Hi, I'm Bodhi.
- Hey, Bodhi.
Hi. Thank you for coming.
You can pick up
your table number here.
These are bags
for the birdseed toss.
Also, Emily and Josh request
that you turn off
your cell phones.
Well, I would,
but the phone company
beat me to it. Ha-ha-ha.
We take these, right?
Yes, that's for you.
Would you like a cocktail
before the ceremony?
What are these?
This one's called the Josh.
It's ginger beer
and small-batch whiskey.
And this one is the Emily.
It's kind of a playful take
on a kir royal.
For free? Yes.
I probably shouldn't.
I think me
and my small-batch whiskey
are gonna go try and find
the little boy's room. You okay?
Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah?
Linda.
- Linda! Ha-ha-ha.
- Oh, hi.
Oma!
How are you? Oh.
Oh, I like you, you know?
Even though you ran off
on my son.
Oh. I always liked you too, oma.
Ha, ha. Between you and me,
I don't like Peter's new wife.
Peter and Maureen are happy.
Maybe now.
It's only been a few weeks.
No, it's been many, many years.
Oh?
I've been looking for you.
Why don't we go
find our seat, okay?
Jeff. Will you show oma
to her seat?
Thanks. Jeff will take you.
Take care. Hi, oma.
Come on, let's go sit down.
Hi. Uh, hi.
Hi.
I'm very busy right now, so I...
Yeah, sure. Big...
Huge day for you.
But we'll, uh... yeah.
Oma, are you comfortable?
Thanks. Thank you. That's her.
That's Linda.
She's not even sitting
with the family.
So here we are, gathered here.
This big tree over us
and the roots beneath us.
I can't think of a better place
to do this
than out here in mother nature.
And now we can open
the wedding ceremony.
Go ahead.
Oh. Don't.
Don't. Don't run away.
Walk on.
Mom. I'm so glad you're here.
I didn't know
if you were gonna make it.
Yeah. Greg pawned his Gibson sg.
Oh.
Hi, Josh. Hey.
- Wow. Heh.
- Yeah.
Well, we got your rsvps so late.
We couldn't really move things
around with the hall,
so, um, I hope you guys
don't mind
sitting with Emily's cousins
and, like, our harpist.
Heh, heh. Ha-ha-ha.
No, not at all.
We'd love to learn
some harp licks.
Okay, bye.
Yeah, bye.
It really means a lot to me
that you came, mom.
Hi, we're the bremen quintet.
Congratulations, Josh and Emily.
Bye.
Congratulations. Hi.
So whatever table we're at,
- that's the cool table, okay?
- Oh, yeah.
Ooh. There's Adam.
He's a sharp dresser.
Come on, go say hi. Mm...
Come on.
Adam.
Hi, mom. Hey.
Um, Desmond, this is
my mother, Linda.
- A pleasure.
- Hi.
I see where Adam
gets his cheekbones.
We are seeing each other.
Oh, that's... That's wonderful.
Thanks.
Adam, I'm so glad
you met someone.
Particularly someone
so handsome.
This is Greg, my boyfriend.
Adam.
- Hello.
- Desmond, hey.
Nice to meet you.
Oh, groovy tie, Greg.
You're probably
too young for this,
but have you heard of Bruce Lee?
Of course I've heard
of Bruce Lee. He's the man.
Yeah, you look just like him.
Thanks. Not at all.
Not even a little.
You're not even Chinese.
Bruce Lee wasn't Chinese.
He was born in San Francisco.
- Mm-hm.
- Huh. Oh.
Hope you have a nice time
and enjoy your vegan meal.
Ha-ha-ha. Thank you.
I'm a team member
at total foods.
- Oh, I love total foods.
- Ha-ha-ha.
All you boys do. Ha-ha-ha.
Okay, she has got to be
heavily medicated.
I like her.
Cut.
Yeah!
Here we go.
Aw...
And how did you meet the groom?
Oh. Caesarean section.
Budapest, actually.
Yeah. It's gonna be,
like, I don't know...
We need to... we need to go.
Okay.
All right, folks.
Pete, it... it's time. Oh.
Your toast.
Hm. Well, um...
Good luck.
Well...
All right, speech.
Thanks.
Hello, everybody. Ahem.
Yeah. Hi.
I'm, uh...
I'm Rick...
I'm, heh, Linda brummel,
mother of the groom.
And I remember some of you
from years ago.
And it's nice to see...
Nice to see you again.
Um, yeah, at first,
I didn't know...
Whoo. Heh, heh.
What to give Josh and Emily,
you know, as a gift.
Not only because I don't have
any money, heh, heh, but...
But, ahem, also because there's
so much I haven't given them.
I was never a traditional mom,
right? Ha-ha-ha.
Um, so I won't be
a traditional mother-in-law.
I hope. Ha-ha-ha.
So I realized the only thing
I have to give
Josh and Emily
is the only thing i...
I have to give anyone.
I was never much
of a housekeeper
or a cook.
Ha, ha. Right? Ha-ha-ha.
But I am a musician, you know?
That's all I am.
And that's what I have to give,
so I would like to give
all I have to my...
My son and his beautiful wife...
Right now.
Boys, you can come out.
Oh. I wanna thank
my children's other mother...
For everything.
- Oh, god.
- What happened?
It's okay.
Josh, who are they?
I think that's the flash.
I usually have
a way cooler guitar.
This is a tune
by Bruce Springsteen.
And this is for Josh and Emily.
One, two.
I'm just gonna... No.
Well, I was...
Do something. Heh.
I think we gotta go up there.
What about our first dance?
We'll do what we rehearsed.
Not the right song.
Not even close.
We'll be all right.
And it's too damn fast.
- Aah!
- Come on.
Whoo!
One more.
Takes a cold one to know one
this is not the time
to pick a fuss, not a row