1
We're gonna rot
in jail forever! Fuck!
So we went upstairs
to kill one...
One. Which we did.
All right? We did that.
Do not think about...
And yeah,
I didn't think about...
He might come home!
I mean, you just casually
walked upstairs
and tried to poison
two innocent boys...
Because you're stomping around
and they think we're
running a daycare!
Fuck you!
Stop!
JT Renovations. Please hold.
JT Renovations.
We also renovate kitchens...
Great, we'll put you
down for three.
Uh-huh. Thank you so much.
I got another one.
Bedrooms, bathrooms,
dungeons, you name it.
Whatever you need.
Let me tell you about
a special promotion. Hello?
I will go fuck myself,
thank you.
Yo, take nothing personal.
Oh, tight, dude,
you're trying to get fired?
Cool.
All right, this is where
all the magic happens.
The main floor,
the headquarters.
Let's say hi to, um,
Will and Martin.
What's up, guys? How you doing?
Excellent decorations.
Sweet office.
- Oh, sweet air.
- Let's, uh...
let's keep moving.
Hi, is this Rick?
Hi, Rick, this is Martin
from JT Renov...
Excuse me?
What the fuck did you just say
to me, you little fuck boy?
Listen here, Rick, I got your
address right in front of me, dawg.
Why don't I come to your house and
skull-fuck your wife until she loves me?
How would you like that? I'll adopt
your children and make them my own.
Fuck you, fuck you!
I thought you said
don't take it personal.
Oh, I didn't take that personal.
No. I'm just gonna skull-fuck
his wife and raise his children.
Cheap-ass Daniels.
Willie?
Hey, Jason.
How's the tour
with the newbies going?
Have you even seen
the numbers the past month?
We're running on fumes. No!
Just keeps hiring more idiots
to replace the other idiots.
Hey.
- Hey.
- Jesus, where did you come from?
I'm a ninja.
Fuck, I need a cigarette.
You guys want one?
I can't, they give me
the squirts.
Well, thank you
for sharing that, Jason.
Will?
- Yeah.
- Come on.
- That was gross.
- Be careful.
They give you the squirts.
Hey listen, Saturday night.
I'm doing a party.
It's a Halloween party.
It's gonna be huge!
Tell it to your friends.
I'm going to... I just did.
- Kelly?
- Yeah.
Nice day today, huh?
Sorry, what?
I said, "Nice day today, huh?"
Oh, yeah. I guess.
How's it going?
Fine.
You go to school around here?
I bet a lot of guys
hit on you at school, huh?
When everything
is said and done,
I'll have... $12 left over.
We could just man up and ask
Daniels for higher commission.
Amber, he won't even
replace the coffee pot.
The coffee pot, Amber.
Point made.
OK.
Hey, you can still give me a ride
to work tomorrow again, right?
When are you going
to get your car back?
When are you going to start
buying your own weed?
Oh, great, it was
so nice to speak with you, uh...
Thanks so much
for your business.
You have a good day.
Yes!
Where's everyone going?
Check your email.
Daniels is calling a floor meeting.
Shh!
You all know this year
has been less than moderate.
The result had nothing to do
with your work ethic.
The company is going to be
taking a new direction.
Unfortunately that does mean closing
down both branches in our district.
Listen. I commend all of you,
all of you, for the time
you've given to the firm
and I wish you all
the best of luck.
So we'll finish out this week
with the payroll ending
on Friday.
- That's it.
- He just fired us.
- I think so.
- Oh, no!
That's it!
It's always something.
This is awful,
what am I gonna do?
- Why do you do that?
- Do what?
What? You always compare
our kids to Ryan and Bethann's.
- No, I don't.
- You just did it.
I just did it in that situation
because I just think it's a good idea
if Billy and Asher would
play some kind of sport.
Our kids do play sports.
They play softball and they hate it, OK?
- Well...
- And it's a girly sport.
It's not a girly sport, it's the same thing
as baseball, it's just the ball is soft.
It's not even soft,
it's just bigger...
I know the shape
of the ball, Marty!
I go to the games, you don't.
Softball is a good thing for them
to mingle with other children.
Sir, could you please turn
the music down?
I'm trying to have
a discussion with my husband.
Someone's getting one star.
Great. You know what, I'm sorry.
Don't ever get married,
and if you do,
don't get married to this guy
'cause he's an ass...
Leave the driver out of this.
Don't bring my relationship...
We're in his car!
Leave him out of it?
Pay for a therapist, don't use
the ride driver as our therapist!
You are not the man I married.
Hundred bucks says Daniels
has a nice comfy chair
and comfy desk just waiting
for him at the new branch.
You think they care about us?
Hell no.
They don't care if we have
student loans,
rent to pay,
they don't give a shit.
What was that that Daniels
said again?
"I commend you"
on your hard work;
Unfortunately,
we're a piece of shit company...
Listen, Amber...
I'm just gonna say...
this is making my balls tingle,
but it's highly illegal.
The company stores a list
of every client
we've done business with, right?
- OK.
- If I were able to get
a copy of the list,
we could technically use
those clients ourselves.
I mean, we already have the manufacturer's
contacts and they don't care
where the business is coming from,
just as long as they're getting paid.
We just need to set up
an LLC for the invoice.
Yeah, but then we would need
to get into Daniels' computer
and for that we would
need his password, so...
- No!
- What?
Nothing. Fuck.
I got to go.
I just thought of something.
Let's just talk
about this later.
Hey, Amber...
everything's gonna be all right.
That wasn't
the worst part, though.
It wasn't even the fact
that I got arrested
for possession of crack
and heroin.
The worst part wasn't even that the
judge gave me two to three years.
The worst part was that when
I crashed through the table,
I killed my neighbor's dog.
I guess they'd been
sleeping underneath there.
It's one of those little
furry terrier types.
Hell...
I feel bad because it was
the only dog she had, right?
You know, she loved that thing.
It hadn't done anything
to anybody, you know?
Just goes to show you that
it's usually
the most innocent ones
that hurt the worst, right?
Well, that was 321 days ago.
I was sober for 320 days.
Yeah.
Jessica, right?
Ta-da!
Mm.
How's your shoulder been?
Been worse this week.
They put me in stocking.
You know how heavy
those boxes are?
But, you know,
everything's a give and take.
- You still upset about the car?
- Nah, I'm good.
I mean, Will's
helping me out, so...
That Will is a great boy.
You need more friends like him.
Um, by the way,
I forgot to tell you,
I got some really great leads
this week, so this is for you.
No, honey.
We'll be OK.
We'll be OK.
I promise.
- Hey.
- Hey. So I was thinking about the plan,
and it's a cool idea, but it's
probably an A1, probably A2 felony.
Are you sure we should do this?
Yeah, let's do it.
It's best if we wait till lunch.
Nine times out of ten,
Daniels orders from the deli
across the street;
Usually preorders it
so it won't take him long
to leave and come back.
That's when I'll do it.
All I need you to do
is wait for my cue.
- Right.
- From there, just let me know
if you see Daniels coming.
- OK.
- Let's get this money.
A footlong.
Extra cheese, no avocado,
no onions.
Yes, ma'am, we do renovations...
Oh, it's not for you
at this time?
Well, thank you so much
for being nice to me.
Goodbye.
"Let's burn
this mother fucker down."
No avocado, no onions.
I hate onion.
I'm a nice guy; You wouldn't
like me when I'm angry.
Thanks, baby.
Little lunch or something?
Little sliced turkey and Swiss?
Little Subweezy?
Maybe some human flesh,
some virgins?
No, I'm good, man.
I brought my own lunch today,
but thanks, Martin.
All right, man, good for you.
I'm gonna pick up my lunch.
Why don't you call payroll
before three o'clock?
Got it.
What?
Come on!
What the...
What are you doing?
Uh... Mr. Daniels asked me
to do a system restore.
He was having problems
with his email.
I took an IT course,
so I'm qualified for this.
Will, are you lying?
I'm kidding.
God.
He needs to figure
shit out for himself.
Thanks, Marion.
What are you doing?
The password isn't working.
I know, I'm sorry, I forgot the numerical.
It's "DirtyDaniels69."
Yeah, he's
a dirty little fucker.
Make sure to swallow that
when you're finished.
All right, now try to print it.
Oh, come on!
It's not printing!
- Hey, boss.
- Not now, Jason.
I was just wondering if our
checks are gonna be mailed...
Talk to Marion, she handles
the payroll, OK?
Yeah, I was just wondering,
are we gonna get our checks...
Jason, just talk to Marion.
Oh, my God!
- God damnit!
- I'm so sorry!
Damn it!
It's OK.
Uh, just clean up the mess.
Oh, uh, if you'd get me
another sandwich,
but no onion, OK?
Mm-hmm.
Fuck you, Daniels,
fuck you, JT Renovations!
- Let's go out.
- You know I don't really drink like that.
- Just one, just one.
- One means three, Amber.
Oh, my God, you know what, I'm gonna
text Jason and he'll meet us there. Oooh!
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo...
OK! OK, I'm gonna drink tonight!
There you go.
All right...
So...
Run it by me again.
OK, so we print
a hard copy of the list,
then we start making calls,
setting ourselves up
as independent contractors,
offer rates that
none of the other
local renovating firms can.
We just need a place
to operate out of.
My brother has a house
up in North Hills.
He's always traveling for work,
there's never anyone there.
There's just under
3,000 potential clients
on this list.
If we're able to snag
even half of them,
we'll be able to generate...
- A shitload of money.
- In layman's terms,
we just have to convince each
potential client to buy from us.
And that's where I come in.
Wait, wait, I can convince.
Will, you are way too nice.
Jason. Jason, tell her
I can convince.
- Jason?
- We're going to have to talk about this,
but in the meantime,
let's toast to a...
no-boss future...
No bosses!
- No bosses!
- Fuck Daniels.
Mr. Daniels.
Ooh, yeah.
All right.
Wait, wait, where are you going?
You leaving already?
Yeah, I'm meeting
this girl I met online.
Well, I hope she's a girl,
but, uh, she, uh...
wants to have sex with me.
That's not funny.
Anyway, she only fucks
guys in their 20s.
This is my last chance.
Um, excuse me, can I get a shot
and a vodka tonic, please,
and you can put it on my tab?
What, you can't
take a little joke?
Come on.
What, am I not your type?
Is that what's going on? You don't like...
you don't like blond guys?
That's not what I said.
I'm just messing around.
Oh, my God.
We can get out of here.
If this isn't your vibe, like...
- Let's go to the beach...
- I'm good.
Let's go to my place.
I got... I got books.
- I'm good, thanks.
- I got movies, whatever you want, girl.
- I got it at my place.
- I don't wanna go anywhere with you.
You know, I'm trying to be nice.
If you ask any of my friends,
I'm like the nicest guy they know.
Do you think that I'm stupid?
I saw you here with
your girlfriend last week.
- What girlfriend?
- You don't have a girlfriend?
- No, I don't.
- No girlfriend?
- No.
- Hi, excuse me.
Would you mind taking a picture
of me and my boyfriend for me?
- Oh, OK.
- Just put your arm around me, it's just for social media.
No, don't take a picture.
No, no.
- What?
- I'm good, have a good night.
I thought we were having
a good time.
Thank you.
No problem.
I'm Amanda, by the way.
I'm sorry, I'm Will.
- Hi, Will.
- Will. How are ya?
- Good.
- Good.
Now.
Where the fuck...?
Where is it?
Oh, Jesus!
Oh...
Where's my fucking phone?
That's OK, it'll show up.
It'll show up.
What the...?
Fuck!
You OK?
Uggh.
You don't...
Drink much, huh?
I got to go.
Hey, um, my car.
You mind giving me a ride?
First, you might wanna...
I'll wait for you... out there.
For fuck sake.
Oh, excuse me. Did anyone turn
in a cell phone last night?
It had a white case.
I think I left it here.
- Let me check.
- Sitting at the bar.
Oh, wait, you said
a white cell phone?
- Yeah, it had a white case.
- No, no, never mind.
- Sorry, man.
- Fuck!
Shit!
Uh...
Uh... I left my car
parked there last night.
And it's not there.
- Are you the black hatchback?
- Yeah, it was a black hatchback.
Oh, good,
I'm so glad you're here.
Yeah, they towed it
about two hours ago.
- Fuck! Fuck!
- Sorry, guy.
- Fuck!
- Not your day.
No one is
available to take your call.
- Please leave a message.
- It's dead.
Well, can't you still track it?
Take those, that should help.
You know, actually...
if I log onto
the "Track My Phone" app...
"device response
notification..."
I'll put in your number...
you'll get a notification
the moment it's turned on.
Cool. I guess...
now we just wait?
And hope.
We could always eat.
Do you know what I'm craving?
French toast.
With like really crispy bacon,
over-easy eggs,
where like the syrup
and the eggs are runny
and it's like all mixed together
and you can...
Am I grossing you out?
This is some strong shit.
Where did you get this from?
Jesus!
Ewww!
That looks like
the Green Goblin's... jizz.
It'll make you feel better,
just drink it.
Get your feet off the couch.
Oh, so, what's going on
with your case?
My lawyer said that they're
trying to reduce the sentence
to just possession, so...
I'm just waiting, I guess.
I mean, I can't believe
they arrested you for weed.
Um...
Honestly, at this point,
I just wanna...
put it behind me, you know?
Oh, shit! The notification.
It's mapping it,
it's mapping it...
What does it say?
What's the location?
Hold on. Come on, baby,
Come on, baby.
I got it.
2356 Terramar Street?
- It's like 20 minutes away.
- Let's go.
Oh, shit, there he is.
Come on, put that shit out.
- Yo.
- Hi.
Man, it hasn't even
been there 12 hours.
Look, I can't afford that. Is there like
a first-time tow discount or something?
Hello. Oh, my God,
he hung up on me.
- What the fuck.
- This is perfect. A great way to start over.
My car gets towed,
I lost my phone...
One more.
Sounds like, um,
a rough day, huh?
Well, my buddy here
lost his phone last night,
so we are tracking it there.
Tell everybody.
Scream it out the window.
Well, he asked.
Oh, shit.
What's wrong?
- Jason just texted.
- Should we tell him?
I don't want him to freak out.
Let's just wait and see
what happens, OK?
OK.
Come on, stop overthinking it.
Get out of the car.
Thanks for the ride.
You know, for the record,
I am not overthinking.
Can you just give me
a minute, please?
You've had all day.
No one.
I don't think anyone's home.
Are you sure we're in
the right place?
Yeah, I mean,
that's what my phone said.
Let me look.
- My phone's dead.
- Oh, shit.
Do you know what, Amber,
I think we should just
call the cops.
The cops? What?
- I would...
- I'll go check around back, OK?
Amber, I don't think that's a good
idea; Amber, I don't think that's...
- Amber!
- We need this phone.
- Amber...
- Just chill right here.
OK, you're doing it.
Oh, this is a bad idea.
What you
doin' outside my house, boy?
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, you're eating
their food now?
- You want some?
- No.
Come on!
Uggh.
Hello? Anybody home?
Anybody?
Smells like old person's
breath in here.
God, it does.
I'm gonna go this way.
I'm gonna go this way.
Hello? Anybody home?
Jeez!
Got ya.
Don't do that.
- Did you find it?
- No, nothing.
Do you think anybody's here?
No. TV was on.
How about I go look upstairs?
OK. I'll keep looking around.
Hello?
Anybody home?
Amber!
Amber!
What?
The fucker sold it.
Wait, no, no, that can't be.
The notification said
that it was here.
Well, maybe he hasn't
shipped it out yet.
Yeah, no, it's got to be here
somewhere.
Will. I mean, it wasn't anywhere
up here, right?
Whoa.
Filthy.
Look, come here.
Isn't that...
What the fuck?
Hey! Hey, hey, someone's here!
Hey!
- Hey, hey!
- Hey!
- Open up!
- Hey!
No, let us out! No!
- Open up!
- No!
Got so close, he probably...
Oh, my God!
Please!
Hey!
- Hey! Open up!
- Hey, open up!
H-Hello?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, listen, please!
Open the door!
Please, just give us
the phone and we'll leave!
- Yeah.
- No. How do I know you won't call the cops?
- We won't call the cops!
- No, please, just let us out!
You can trust us, please!
Open the door!
Hello? Hello!
Hello!
Open the door!
Amber! You've been hitting
that door for over an hour.
He's not gonna open it.
Did you get a window
open at least?
Of course.
Ow!
Great, we're dealing
with a junkie.
Ohh!
Did you notice that
that was the guy that...
Driver? Yeah, I know.
- I need some water.
- Oh, shit, are you OK?
Is it like your...
your hypo... the hyp...
Hyperglycemia.
I'll be all right.
I just wish I had my weed on me.
Does that really work?
You know, like the weed.
Does that actually help
your condition?
Well, put it this way.
I went from having
three seizures a day
to three seizures a year.
Gonna try to open
this freezer again.
I don't know what he...
Come on, you...
Come on, you...
Come on!
Son of...
God damn it!
I always get put
in these situations.
Wait, you're saying this isn't the first
time you've been held captive in a basement?
I mean the phone, Amanda,
JT Renovations, my disability.
It's like... fuck my phone,
I don't give a shit about anything.
Don't say that. I mean...
Don't you know how important
this is to all of us?
- Even with Amanda...
- Ah, the girl from the bar.
Yeah, the girl from the bar,
it looks like
she used me as a decoy
or something.
Like she noticed I was
this nice guy
who was a fucking pushover,
and so she used me.
I think you are probably
the only man ever
to complain about being
used for sex, but...
just sayin'.
Come...
What if... How do you know that
that girl didn't actually like you?
I mean, come on,
you are like the nicest...
most charming guy I've ever met.
You know what I think?
I think you just need
a little more willpower.
That's cute, Amber, very cute.
Thank you.
Gonna try this again.
Come on!
Aaah!
Voil!
- Yes!
- Hah! Look!
- Ice!
- Frozen water.
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
ya, ya, ya, ya.
Mmm! Look at all this food!
I know, we got dinner!
There's pizza, vegetables...
What?
Um...
Well, good.
You look great holding
that huge glass of wine.
Yeah. You like symmetry?
Oh, my god, oh, my god,
what is that?
What the hell?
Oh, shit.
I know your mother's
been under the weather
and we bought her
some get-well presents.
Can we just pop in for a second?
I haven't seen her
in at least a month.
She's been under
the weather the last few days,
so she's kind of sleeping.
I understand.
Well, tell her that we came by
and that we hope she gets better in
time for mah jongg, this Thursday.
Oh, absolutely.
Thank you so much.
You're welcome, dear.
One more thing. I was hoping...
Let us out, you fuck!
Jacob, right? That's your name?
Eh... Jacob.
If you just give us the phone,
I swear to you
we won't call the cops.
We'll just go on our merry way,
we'll just go home.
It's not here! I...
I got to go get it.
I'm sorry.
I'm not a bad person, I...
No, no, no, we get it, yeah.
You're not a bad person.
You're not a bad person at all.
You're a fucking psychopath,
you sick fuck!
- Do you hear me?!
- Amber!
I'm gonna fucking kill you,
goddamn it!
All right, Amber, chill out!
That's not gonna help us.
That's not gonna help.
Shit!
Police. Open up.
Open up, or we're gonna have...
- Trick or treat.
- Trick or treat.
I work nights.
Hold on.
"Super sensitive"? Fuck it.
Happy Halloween!
What is this?
- Come on, guys.
- What is it, Daddy?
It's OK, it's OK.
Mom?
Jacob!
Hey!
I have to go to the bathroom!
Come on, man.
Have some human decency!
Please?!
Five minutes.
Let's go. Come on, let's go.
What about me?
Can... Can I go too?
Here, piss in this.
Come on.
What's wrong?
All right, just piss.
You could close the door.
No, no, I can't.
I don't trust you, just...
Oh, my God.
I won't look.
Thank you.
Keep going.
Wh-What are you doing?
Just... Just give me one.
What?
Come on, look, if you're gonna
fucking lock me in that basement,
the least you can do is just
give me a hit, man.
What are you talking about?
I smelled it the minute that
I walked in the living room.
Just, please...
Just sit down.
No, you can't hold it so close.
Listen, I know what I'm doing.
- Who else is here?
- No one's here but me.
There better not be
anyone else here.
Does the guy
downstairs do this shit?
He doesn't know shit.
He thinks I got arrested
for weed.
Wait... you got arrested?
And they took my car.
It's very expensive.
You know, but I'm dealing
with it, I am.
What were the charges?
Damn. That's some serious shit.
All right, now, come on.
- Come on.
- No, no, no, no no.
I just wanna lay here,
just for like...
just a little bit longer.
Do you wanna lay with me?
- Come on.
- No, no, you can't, come on.
- Shh!
- We got to go, let's go.
- Let's go!
- Shh! It's OK.
No...
Stop. Stop...
Hey, come on, we got to go.
- Let's go!
- OK.
Come on!
Don't make any noise, all right?
If you do, I'll have
to shoot you, just go!
Whoa! Whoa, whoa. What happened?
I'm not a fucking
candy man, read the sign.
Trick or treat, bitch!
- Yeah.
- Yo, Damian.
I thought I'd stop by,
heard you got some candy, kid.
- Get in here, man.
- Took your sweet ass time answering the door, homey.
What the fuck's up
with your phone, dude?
I tried calling you like
three times on the way here.
Fuck.
What the fuck got you acting
like a scared little girl?
Yo, man, I need your help.
- No.
- What do you mean no?
You said if I ever needed
your help
with something I couldn't
handle, you'd help me.
I'm gonna need
a little taste of something...
- Just fucking listen, Damian.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
I said already,
just put her in the freezer.
No, dude, that's not what
I'm fucking talking about.
- I already fucking did that.
- Then what?
I needed some extra cash
the other night, right?
Aren't you still getting your
mom's social security checks?
- Yeah, I'm fucking getting those, but...
- You've been getting greedy.
No, it's not fucking
greed, Damian.
- You're getting greedy.
- Shut up, it's not greed, Damian.
The mortgage, the taxes,
car insurance.
Not to mention
those fucking pills.
I'm sick and tired of dressing
up as a fucking woman.
You're not playing.
All right.
So, what the hell happened?
I was at the bar
the other night, man.
I took some dude's phone.
Next thing I know, he's doing
that thing that finds it...
- Fucking tracker.
- Yeah, and get this.
I fucking drove them.
Hold up, hold up, let me
make sure I'm getting this.
You stole this dude's phone,
and it just so happened
that he was the guy
you were picking up?
- Yeah.
- And then you bring him back here...
to help him find his
stolen phone that you took?
Holy shit!
You can't make that shit up, man.
It's not fucking funny.
I don't know what to fuckin' do.
- Tell them to fuck off.
- Yeah, it's a little more fucking complicated than that.
No, it's not, I do it
ALL THE TIME: Fuck off!
No, dude, they're
in my basement!
You're not playing with me.
I'm fucked.
I'm gonna need a drink.
The guy, how much he weigh?
150. Maybe like 160.
And the girl?
I don't know, she's tight.
Tight?
Yeah, like petite-ish.
She cute?
Yeah, I guess, but that's
not the point, Damian.
All right, we're gonna need
some lime and a shovel.
Why do you need a lime?
Lime. Not limes, lime.
Like quicklime, it's a thing.
Joe Pesci uses it in Goodfellas.
Gonna help dissolve the body.
Take them out to the desert,
like Palm Springs or something?
I don't know,
maybe that's too far.
I can't fucking do that, Damian.
Well, then, I guess
I can't help you.
No, no, stop, I'm listening.
I mean, they saw the body, right?
And if they saw the body,
then that means they're gonna tell the
police and then we can't get our fix.
Before you do anything,
you still owe me.
The hundo.
I don't forget shit, kid,
I'm a fuckin' encyclopedia.
Hey, can I get one
of your mom's oxy's?
I'm all out.
Fuckin' junkie.
Fuck you!
You're watching
some weird shit, kid.
Yo, J...
you never even told me how much
you liked my Halloween mask.
J!
Looky, looky.
That fucker's
been holding out on me.
Yeah!
It's fucking full, too.
We're going to jail for life.
Do you realize that?
Yo, Damian.
I do have another oxy.
I'll just split it.
Just throw me like five bucks.
Damian.
Da...
What the fuck? Damian?
Yo, brother!
What the...
Fuckin' bleach?
Fuckin' bleach?
Shit!
Bleach! Huh? You fucking
killed him with bleach?
You killed him.
You killed Damian.
Well, that was meant
for you, actually.
Hey, um, take it easy...
No, shut the fuck up, you idiot!
He was my best friend.
My only friend!
Jacob...
Just back off!
Can you stop pointing
that at her, please?
I'm gonna fucking
kill you, you hear me?!
Ohh...
Amber, run! Amber!
Run!
Help! Somebody!
Please, please!
He's trying to kill me!
Please!
Please! He's trying to kill me!
He's trying to kill me! Help!
Ohh! Please! Stop!
- You're preaching to the choir.
- Please!
Did you see that zombie
back there?
- Oh, it was nice, right?
- That was pretty awesome.
Please don't go!
Please... somebody,
please, help me, please.
Are you OK?
You're fucked up!
Help, please!
What's wrong with her?
Guys, don't stare, come on.
Help.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
Fuck!
No one is available
to take your call.
Please leave a message.
Come on, William!
All right, that's more
for the gingerbread man.
Ooh, ya heard
of the Irish curse!
'Ello!
Will!
Will! Help me!
We saw that body in the freezer.
That was my mom.
Oh!
When you're a little kid,
you think
you're gonna live forever.
You think that
the people you love
are never gonna leave you.
Over one hundred tumors
for ten freakin' years!
But I never gave up on my mom.
She did.
You broke into my house.
I can't trust you.
No, you-you can
trust me, I'm so sorry.
I take it back.
I promise, I understand you.
If God wants to punish me,
He will.
Only He can judge me.
Fuckin'...
What the fuck!
Ah, shit!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Shit!
Shit!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Jesus.
I'm sorry, Mama.
- Mom.
- Jacob!
Oh, fuck!
Fuck you, people,
this is my apartment...
Amber.
Amber.
Amber!
Amber!
Amber?
There's your fuckin'...
Amber!
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, no. Amber!
Oh, no, no, no. Amber!
Are there nails in my back?
Yeah.
There's one, two...
I'm sorry, three.
OK, that's what I thought.
You know, we should
go to the hospital.
Yeah...
Uh, look... I found the phone.
Here.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
Stick my finger
in my bellybutton?
Wait, say it again?
Remember I told you
I was on probation for pot?
I lied to you, man. I'm really
sorry, I don't know why I did it.
Hey. Hey, it's all good.
Don't worry about it.
What?
What's it smell like?
Are you serious?
Oh, watch your mouth!
Watch your mouth!
She's so nasty, man.
All right, I got to go.
I got to go, my friends are here.
I'll see you tonight.
All right, bye.
Oh, man.
How are you guys doing?
Man, that's
some gnar-gnar makeup.
But I'm telling you,
you missed a good party.
Like legendary.
This girl went down on me,
she came back up,
man, she looked like she ate
a bag of Cheetos.
Oh, my God!
God, you guys are so moody!
Don't get that fake blood
on my seat, OK?