Poacher!
Stop the poacher!
There he goes!
Catch the poacher!
Ten marks for the man who catches the beast.
After him! Get him!
Get him!
Get him!
- It's Much the miller, come flying out of the forest.
- What's the hurry?
Sir Robert, save me.
Save me.
Straight ahead!
Come on!
We got him! Come on!
Go on! Go on!
Whoa. Whoa.
Whoa, there.
Steady. Steady.
Steady.
What have we here,
Mr. Miter?
Much here is the local miller, but he's been
grinding more than corn for his living.
That's the poacher,
Sir Miles.
Ah. Not so new at
the poaching game either.
Do you know the punishment
for poaching the king's deer twice?
- They can put my eyes out.
- Do something.
- Leave him.
- Who do you think you are?
- This man is a poacher.
- On my land.
I have no objection
to this man hunting on my land.
He's a useful member
of our community.
Who exactly are you?
I am Sir Miles Folcanet...
...and I'm the guest of the Baron Daguerre
to whom this land belongs...
...and certainly not
to some scruffy Saxon.
You and your people may have
stolen every decent acre of my country...
...and built your
mighty castles on them...
...but I am still
Sir Robert Hode.
I am still
the Earl of Huntingdon...
...and this land you are on
still belongs to me.
Only as a vassal
to your feudal overlord...
...and my host,
the Baron Daguerre.
But you're Sir Robert Hode,
of course.
I hear you're
Baron Daguerre's friend.
What was the phrase,
"his little pet"?
I order you
to leave this man be...
...and to get off my land.
Well, well.
Leave him be.
Yes, of course.
We could do as you suggest...
...but the poacher would still have his eyes
to help him poach again, would he not?
And you, kind lady?
Is it your pleasure
that the miller should lose his eyes?
My pleasures are my secret,
Sir Robert.
I do not reveal them to just
any knight who crosses my path.
Enough. There's a law.
Miter!
Let him go.
Why don't you and your men
hunt down some little children...
...that have been sniffing
the king's flowers?
You can pluck their
noses off one by one.
And you,
you can watch.
Much, walk away.
Very well.
I shall let him go.
Thank you, Sir Robert,
for your lesson in Saxon justice.
On Monday morning
at 7:00...
...you will stand before
Baron Daguerre...
...and I'll make sure you'll taste
our Norman justice.
You have insulted his guest.
He will not
treat you lightly.
Maybe you shouldn't
have said anything.
That's what he called you?
- My pet?
- The Baron Daguerre's little pet.
What's so funny?
I thought all you cared about
was the next wench and the next drink.
And you defied Miles
for a half-dead Saxon poacher.
I'd love to have
seen his face.
I think I spoiled his fun.
He was lusting to put the poor man's
eyes out personally on the spot.
Norman justice,
he called it.
I have to order you to be flogged
next Monday morning.
You can't do that.
I am an earl.
Climb down from
your high horse, Robert.
- I'll try to avoid it.
- Try?
Folcanet wants
his entertainment.
- You made him look a fool.
- You will never have me flogged.
Need I remind you that while your grandfather's
father was no more than a pirate...
...my great-grandfather
was chancellor to our king?
Did I tell you that?
It's true. A pirate.
But that was
in confidence, Robert.
You will never say that
in public.
Never.
Your throw.
I, too, have my pride.
Hello, Marian.
- Who's winning, Uncle?
- Robert, of course.
Have you met?
I believe Sir Robert
never loses...
...so he tells me.
- Uncle?
- She's my brother's daughter.
He died in Cyprus.
I've become her guardian.
Will she be living here?
She's here for a wedding.
- Whose wedding?
- Hers... And Miles's.
Folcanet?
She's heir to
a great fortune, Robert.
It becomes her dowry.
If she marries Miles, he's offered
to show his gratitude to me.
Money, money, money,
money, money, money.
Just who are they
practicing to kill, Rob?
Who do they see when
they thrust the lance?
It's me and you, Rob,
that's who. You and me.
Well, on this occasion,
it's more me than you.
Next time you feel righteous indignation,
you do the heroic bit.
You'll have no trouble of Daguerre.
No trouble at all.
Something interesting
outside?
Go on.
Take a proper look.
But don't let him
see you looking.
Sir Robert Hode,
Earl of Huntingdon.
The charges?
Insulting a knight of the Realm
and obstructing the king's laws.
Obstructing the king's laws.
Sir Robert, please.
Baron Daguerre...
I ask the court's forgiveness
for any offense I have brought...
...to the throne
or to Sir Miles Folcanet...
...and I apologize
with all sincerity and humility.
Very well.
The court is a witness to your humility
and accepts your apology...
...as I'm sure
Sir Miles will.
You may rise, Sir Robert.
A moment, please.
If I may remind
the first baron of the Realm...
Norman law calls
for separate justice...
...for separate issues,
Sir Roger.
There were two offenses.
As for Sir Robert's insulting me,
certainly I'm a forgiving man.
I have forgiven.
But, uh...
...eager as I am to be done
with this unfortunate incident...
I'm bound to point out
the letter of the law...
which states
separate justice...
...for separate issues.
This man attempted to stop
agents of the king...
...from carrying out
their sworn duty!
- That's a dreadful offense.
- Concentrate.
And what punishment does the law demand?
The punishment
is a public beating.
To be flogged.
I suggest at
the castle gate at noon.
My lord, I am not to be treated
like a common thief.
You may be a Saxon earl, Hode,
but the Saxons no longer rule England.
I demand the right of trial by combat.
I challenge
Sir Miles Folcanet.
- I'll kill him.
- Silence!
Sir Miles,
Robert Hode shall be flogged...
...but one lash only.
That's my judgment.
You treacherous,
lying, cheating...
- That's enough, Hode! Silence!
- That's not nearly enough!
- This man should be hanged!
- Five lashes, and I shall have the honor.
- What would you know about honor?
- Twenty lashes from the Sergeant-at-Arms!
- Why not 50? A hundred?
- No, 20! You're too wild, Sir Robert.
Wild?
Much worse than that.
I'm a fool.
I thought you were noble.
Behold the glorious Normans.
The noble
baron of the Realm...
whose great-grandfather
was no more than a pirate.
From cutthroat tojudge
in the blink of an eye.
Once they raped
and pillaged.
Now they collect taxes.
Norman taxes
on Saxon land.
Norman taxes
on Saxon grain.
Norman taxes
on Saxon liberty.
Let us bow to
the miracle of change.
From pirate to leech
in the blink of a bloody Norman eye!
Release him!
Robert Hode,
fourth earl of Huntingdon...
with the powers of the king
which are vested in me...
...it's decreed that
you forfeit to the throne...
...your lands and title
and all things in your possession.
As of this day,
you are cast outside the law.
And as an outlaw,
you're beyond the reach of its protection.
Any and all who would give you
shelter or comfort...
will be deemed treasonous.
Because you are
of noble birth...
...these consequences will be reviewed
by the king's justiciar.
Until that time,
you shall be shackled...
...in the keep
of the Daguerre Castle.
Have you
anything more to say?
Very well, then.
Very well, then.
Hold it there!
Keep 'em back!
Hold it there!
Keep 'em back!
Stop it. Stop!
Tell them to move away... Now.
Do as he says. Move back!
Seize them!
- Seize them!
- You should have killed him.
- You should have kept your mouth shut.
- Yesterday I was a hero.
- Make your mind up.
- Out of the way!
Keep going!
Up there!
On the battlements!
I want them alive!
I want them alive.
- Don't shoot!
- Now, kick.
Kick! Kick!
Scaffold! Scaffold!
Raise the bridge!
Raise the bridge!
Raise it!
- They're crossing, you fools!
- Raise the bridge!
Raise the bridge!
Raise the bridge!
Raise the bridge!
Hold on!
After them!
After them!
Lower the bridge!
Lower the bridge!
Lower the bridge!
Lower the bridge!
Let me guess.
The horses have gone home?
Yes, the horses
have gone home.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
I'm starved.
Me too.
It's raining.
It's raining.
If only I hadn't encouraged you
to stand up for the miller.
If only I hadn't
have listened.
Bloody Normans.
#Summer is y-comen in #
#Loude sing, cuckoo #
#And the seeds
are growing warm #
# Loude sing, cuckoo ##
How are you
at walking backwards?
Well, I've never had
to try yet, short ass.
Short ass, is it?
Careful.
He doesn't like being called names.
And what do you do,
ferret face?
I just follow him around and bury
all the people who've called him names.
Ferret face seems to think
you're a bit of a hard man, short ass.
Rob.
- What's this?
- Show him. Give me the sword.
Barnsdale rules.
You're in Yorkshire now.
- Come on. Come on.
- Hey!
Lying in the dark,
the queen asked the king...
"Why, darling husband, do you
always have such a tiny, little thing?"
Ugly, aren't you,
pig face?
Yes!
Hard-headed too!
- Help!
- He can't swim!
Help! Help! Will!
Help! Help!
- Help!
- Rob, here!
Rob!
Help! Help!
Help!
Help! Help!
Help!
Out you come, shorty.
In you come, lofty!
- John Little.
- Rob...
Robin Hood.
This is Will.
Will Scarlett.
Will Scarlett.
So, what makes you two take
to the byways? You're not beggars.
Let's just say we disagreed
with our Norman masters.
- I hope you killed a few.
- Yeah, we're outlawed, on the run.
You hungry?
Cold, wet, nowhere to go?
The question is,
are you trustworthy?
There are none more trustworthy
in England, John Little.
Yeah, well, you better be.
Anyway, I like you.
Even him. Come on.
Food.
You've heard of Stepthrough, right?
Now, don't forget.
You're friends of mine from Pontefract...
...and you're thieves.
Broth smells good.
Sam. Robin and Will.
Sam's a carpenter.
Miter tried to chisel him.
Tried to screw
more taxes out of him.
I wouldn't pay up. They screwed
my sawing arm right out of its socket.
- You're welcome, whoever you are.
- Thank you.
When it's ready, Will.
We're forced to live
like bats in caves.
Much!
New friends.
This is Robin Hood...
...and Will Scarlett.
If you say so.
- Hello, Robin.
- You've got a twinkle in your eye.
Better than the sharp end
of a dagger, my friend.
You're most welcome, Robin.
And Will... What was it? Scarlett?
Yes, Scarlett.
Jack and Charlie...
...this man's Robin Hood,
so he says.
Jack and Charlie,
the Runnel boys.
Bad boys.
I need some ale.
Which one of you thieves
has stolen my ale?
How did you come to be here, John?
I fell in love with a Norman's daughter,
and she with me.
And we ran away together.
He burned down my house
while my mother and my father...
...and my two brothers
slept in it.
She was caught
and tortured...
...and I took to
the forests of England.
Just wandering.
I've settled down now...
...here in Sherwood.
- Breakfast?
- Not such a bad spot after all, eh?
- Morning.
- Morning.
Stop drooling. There's nothing for you.
Kitchen's closed.
One meal.
That's all you get here. Rules is rules.
That's the truth.
You boys are moving out...
...unless you can do
something we can't do.
- What can you do?
- Do?
I can shoot...
a bit.
That's fine,
isn't it, Harry?
Charlie, we'll do a wand.
- Ready!
- If you can shoot closer than Harry...
...you can stay.
That little stick?
I can hardly see it.
Just aim for
the nearest tree, handsome.
He's right on it.
On your way,
handsome.
Look at this!
He split it!
It's a miracle,
Robin.
It's all in
the middle finger.
In the middle finger,
Harry.
So what's for breakfast?
A man's
on his own here.
We share the caves,
the water and the fire.
And nothing else.
We don't share loot
unless you go out together.
Understand, handsome?
And since you two are such expert thieves,
you can go out on your own.
Unless you'd like
to come with me.
- Where are you going?
- Great North Road.
- See what's moving.
- Fine. We'll come along.
You're first-timers, so don't expect
a full share of the loot, handsome.
I don't like that name.
Well, uh, how about
sweetheart, then?
You don't like the name,
I don't like you.
Shut your mouth, Harry.
Hey!
- You'll take me first!
- I want him!
- You've offended my guest.
- My honor, John.
Well, aren't I the popular one?
Right.
- Who's first?
- Me.
- I am.
- We'll have to toss a coin.
You got a coin, Will?
Certainly, Rob.
Good.
Heads, I win.
Tails, John loses.
I'm watching you.
Well, John,
seems like I win.
You're learning fast.
- Any of you interested in more money than you've ever seen?
- Aye!
- Then we should forget the North Road and try the Hucknall Road.
- Why the Hucknall Road?
Because tomorrow is
Sir Thomas Mansfield's hunt...
...and Miles Folcanet will
ride over there this morning...
with a purse full
of silver.
And how does an honest thief
come to know such things?
Because, like many other thieves,
I was invited.
Whoa!
Sir Miles, what a lovely morning
for a canter in the woods.
- I didn't expect to see you here.
- No, I'm afraid you did not.
And the beauteous Marian. I certainly
am not regretting our happy meeting.
But I'm afraid you soon will.
Get him! Move!
Get him!
Whoa.
What a pity. I was just beginning
to enjoy the chase.
- It isn't over yet, Miles.
- Throw down your sword.
This is one corner
you cannot escape from.
I think it would save unnecessary bloodshed
if you laid down your sword.
Do it.
And get off your horses.
Strip them.
- Come on.
- Come on!
So, you've sunk to
your true level, Hode.
Earl indeed.
You are just another
thieving Saxon.
Tell me, Miles,
how is your wound?
Hmm. It'll heal.
But some wounds never heal.
Tell that to Daguerre.
Tell my dear old friend...
...some wounds...
...never heal.
Go.
My future husband
is sulking.
Oh, I don't know.
He looks quite happy to me.
Good morning, Marian.
- Well, I'll be off. My bow needs...
- Grummeting.
Grummeting. Exactly.
- Well, then, how are the wedding plans?
- In hand, thank you.
So, what are you going
to do with me? Tie me up?
- Could be a lashing.
- How many strokes?
- As many as are necessary.
- And then it's finished?
That depends.
Have you ever been lashed before?
I've never had someone
make me beg them to stop.
Then you've never
had a proper lashing.
You're free to go, or stay if you feel
you have something to offer.
What could I offer
the man who has everything?
- Don't play with me.
- You're so handsome when you're angry.
Go and stitch
your hero's neck together.
Give me 50 of your men...
...and I'll scour the forest
till it's clean of this vermin.
Fifty enough for one fox?
I nearly had him today,
all on my own.
He would've been
begging for mercy.
- But the thugs were all around me.
- Is that how it was?
I would have.
It was all I could do to...
All you could do
to find your sword?
My dearest. My hero.
I won't send 50 men into the forest
to be ambushed and killed...
...but we will catch him.
It occurs to me
that these outlaws...
...are a threat to
the peace of Barnsdale...
...to the forests of Doncaster,
Blyth and Sherwood.
We have to raise
more taxes because of him.
That will make him
really popular.
I will post a reward
for information...
...a huge reward...
for his head on a plate.
They'll talk.
And if not...
we'll hang a few.
Good. Very good.
Nothing like an abbot on his ass
to make one's day.
That's my lunch!
I'd say you've eaten all your
brothers and sisters for breakfast.
You'll need another
hen run for lunch.
It's how I earn a living.
I eat chickens to produce the bones,
I make the bones into holy relics. Look.
St. Peter's pinkie.
Only three marks.
Our Lady's big toe.
Ten marks,
and it's yours.
And with the money, I have to buy
more chickens to make more bones.
I hate chickens.
Relax, holy man.
Good for the digestion.
Put me on my feet,
and I'll beat you fair and square.
I'll not deny a man a fight.
Shall I bless you now,
or when you're dead?
Go on!
Bloody hell!
So you be
Robin Hood, then?
- Very nicely done.
- Thank you.
- And now for your cash, and make no bones about it.
- Cash?
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Since when do you friars
carry no money?
- You bloodsuckers are never short.
- Not me, friend.
Abbot's thrown me out
just for killing his nephew.
That's why I'm out
selling saints' fingers.
Anyone care for St. Vitus's ankle bone...
the one he danced on?
But since you can
swing a sword like that...
...you can join with us.
- And have a price on my head too?
- What's that?
There's a reward out for Mr. Hood.
They want your head in a noose.
Miter's testing a rope right now
on the charcoal burner's children...
...to make the parents talk.
Perhaps this will loosen
some tongues.
Thank you.
I repeat, anyone
with any information...
...leading to the capture
of this Robin Hood...
will receive
a handsome reward.
They may also see
their children grow old.
Move it! Move it!
Hey, you two!
Look who's here.
- Hey!
- Mama, I'm here.
- What is it, Will?
- Daguerre's outfoxed us.
He doesn't need
to hunt us down.
He's turning our own people
against us with bribes and threats.
Somebody will crack soon,
and he knows it.
- Then we'll have to be foxier still, right?
- Right.
Then we'll ride into Nottingham
at the end of the month.
Nottingham?
Hear me.
I ride into Nottingham
next Tuesday.
- Now, who's with me?
- Nottingham?
- You're mad!
- Fine, Harry.
You're out.
Now, who's in?
Sam.
Just the man we need.
Now, can you make boxes?
Can I make boxes?
Is Friar Tuck hungry?
- Ouch!
- Not too tight.
- She's to be married, not tortured.
- What's the difference?
Ah. The torturer himself.
All he's missing is the little black hood
with slits for eyes.
My dear,
you look stunning.
Everything going to be
ready for the 7th?
Out of the question.
This hideous rag fits what it touches.
Doesn't suit me.
Color makes me look like a witch.
It scratches.
In short, Uncle, it won't do.
Oh.
How difficult of it.
- I think you look magnificent in it.
- You would.
That proves I'm right,
Uncle.
If Dancing Bear thinks it's lovely,
it must be terrible.
He has no taste.
But I think you would
look magnificent in anything.
There you are.
No discrimination either.
Magnificent in anything?
Even better in nothing at all, I suppose.
He's a lecher.
A crude, tasteless lecher.
Marian, you can't go on
with this.
- Exactly.
- You know what I mean.
Uncle, I will not wear
this dress in public.
We will have
to start all over again.
But we would have
to postpone the wedding.
How dreadful.
Peregrine, come again
in the morning, please.
Please help me
talk to her later when this is all over.
Perhaps we could talk.
- Say what you have to say.
- Alone.
- Here and now.
- I am not used to begging.
- I don't have the skills.
- No.
- You're used to getting your own way.
- But I am begging.
It would make me
so happy.
Yes, your happiness
comes first and last!
And I would conquer the world
to make you happy.
Fight the Turk...
...do battle with
a thousand infidel...
...to bring a smile
to your eyes.
Conquer your own lechery,
Miles...
...fight your own stupid greed...
...and do battle with anybody
as far away as possible!
I don't want you.
Leave me alone, Uncle.
You will marry him...
...on the 7 th.
Nicole.
Come on. Bring the box.
Can't be that heavy. It's not full yet.
Right. Who's next?
We've done the butcher, the dyer...
- In here.
Let the fever leave him, lord.
Slay the demons
that are in his blood.
- Where's your husband?
- Please spare him.
- Spare me.
- He's been burning sick for three weeks.
There are demons
in his blood.
Let me guess.
You can't pay your taxes.
Don't arrest us,
Sheriff.
Take me.
Do what you will.
Use my body if you wish.
- Christ, not again.
- Again?
Oh, yes. Again, please.
John!
- This way!
- No, this way.
The taxes! The taxes!
They've got the taxes!
Get the tax... Get the box!
- The box!
- Where? Where?
Stop them!
Stay where you are!
The box!
The box!
Huh?
- What are you looking at?
- Knock them off their horses!
Sam Timmons.
No finer man for the boxes.
- No finer man.
- Who needs two arms, eh?
I'll beat them with one arm
tied behind me back.
I'll never eat
chicken again.
From now on,
it'll be peacock oozing with gravy.
No, swan.
Swan's breast in Madeira.
We've all died
and gone to heaven.
Speaking from experience,
you wouldn't get in.
So, this what keeps Baron Daguerre...
...so kind and so cheerful?
Hundred and one.
Hundred and...
I don't like it, Rob.
It doesn't feel right.
Well, it isn't right.
This isn't just loot stolen from rich men.
This is taxes.
Poor men's taxes.
It's broken the backs of farmers,
torn the guts out of stonemasons...
...blinded weavers.
- It's their money.
- I didn't think of it like that.
Let's keep it to ourselves for now.
You are an idiot. You made him a rich man.
Who'd think they'd steal the king's taxes?
No one would ever...
Who'd think he'd steal the king's taxes?
Who'd think he'd feel
the king's wenches?
Enough!
So that's his game.
This Robin Hood couldn't
care less about the money.
It's us he's after.
And thanks to you, Miter,
he's got us.
Who were these taxes raised for?
PrinceJohn.
And even now he's making
his royal progress through the land...
...collecting his cash.
And when PrinceJohn's men
get here...
what have we got
to give them?
Nothing.
And we can't raise
another tax.
They've got nothing left.
We've bled them dry.
So where does
the king's money come from?
From... Me!
From my... Harvests.
My silver goblets.
The clothes on my back!
And who's laughing at us?
Robin Hood... Outlaw.
What are you spying on?
Here he comes.
Come on!
- Oh, get up.
- Come on. Come on.
Come on.
- Move!
- Well, well, well.
And what kind of fruit are you
to be falling from a tree?
You look familiar.
What's your name, young man?
Martin. Martin Pryde.
Pryde, eh?
I like it.
You from these parts,
Martin?
Been in jail?
What do you want
with a bunch of outlaws...
...thieves and murderers?
I can ride.
I can shoot.
Ooh. What do you say?
Shall we give him breakfast?
To earn your breakfast,
you've got to split these.
- Mount up.
- Where are you going?
Never you mind.
Split logs, you'll eat.
Let us pray.
Amen.
Ooh!
- Ooh!
- Amen.
I apologize if the steel is cold.
It couldn't be helped.
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned
a whole lot and I'm doing it again.
Today there will be
a special collection for St. Robin.
- There's no such saint... Ooh.
- Robin, Father.
Tell them as a symbol
of his vow of poverty...
...the church renounces
all gold and silver...
...and that includes
the emptying of pockets.
Announce it, unless you want
to become more nun than abbot.
Today...
Today, in holy observance
of St. Robin...
we remove all gold
and silver from sight...
...as a symbol
of his vow of poverty...
...and we ask
for a generous offering.
You realize this is
a mortal sin, my child.
Forgive us our trespasses, as we
forgive those who trespass against us.
Compliments of Friar Tuck.
St. Peter's pinkie.
Genuine relic.
Protects you against
apoplexy, plague and, uh...
...fowl language.
All right, Will.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Let's have a look.
Baron Daguerre,
I have to visit the castles of Pontefract...
Ripon and York by nightfall.
I have no time to wait
while you stutter out excuses.
- His Majesty, PrinceJohn...
- His Majesty?
There is little hope
of Richard returning.
PrinceJohn will be
crowned king one day, soon.
His Majesty requires you
to render his tax...
...in total, the sum
of 50,000 marks...
...to him in person
on the 12th day of December.
Gerald.
Lord Tewkesbury.
I can raise no more.
The people are penniless.
They've come to hate us
for these burdens.
Taxes are there to be hated by some,
spent by others.
You have a great castle,
a great fortune...
...barns full of grain,
cellars full of wine...
...coffers full of silver.
It's your choice.
Lodwick.
I want Robin Hood
in this hall in chains.
Miter! Double the reward
for information.
No, treble it!
Make it irresistible!
Lodwick.
I want all your men
out every day.
Scour the North Road,
the Hucknall Road.
Take dogs... Mastiffs...
...bloodhounds, deerhounds.
Track them down.
Find their hideout.
Burn them in their beds.
But bring this Robin Hood
in front of my fury.
Go.
As for Marian...
...is she with him?
Surely not.
I cannot believe...
I'll kill him.
Give me 50 men.
I beg you!
No, Miles!
I favor a more
subtle approach.
Subtle?
Baron, sometimes
you are so wet...
...one could shoot
snipe off you.
Nicole...
...my only comfort.
Nicole... My inspiration.
Hode is ours.
You and I can catch him.
Will you help me?
Of course.
Ready!
- Going somewhere, Rob?
- An assignation.
You can't go alone.
The patrols are everywhere.
An assignation?
Might be a trap.
One I would gladly
ride into.
- We're coming with you.
- You can't go alone.
Then I'll take Martin as my page.
Come on. Jump up.
If we're not back by midnight,
we'll be in a Nottingham jail.
Who was Robin Hood
before he was Robin Hood?
- Nobody, really.
- Must have been someone.
Everybody's someone.
Where is this?
Who are you meeting?
Not so many questions.
Wait.
Why is it
a secret assignation?
- Hmm?
- Is it a woman?
Your mistress?
Well, since
you're so curious...
I'll tell you a story.
Once upon a time,
there was a good-for-nothing...
...drunken, young ne'er-do-well,
a bit like me.
This lout was befriended
by a great lord in a mighty castle.
And in that castle he saw the most
beautiful woman in the whole of England.
- Really? In the whole of England?
- Mm-hmm.
And France and Spain
and the whole world.
And he fell
in love with her.
For she was not
only beautiful...
...she was proud and fiery,
as prickly as a thorn...
...yet soft
as thistledown.
- Am I boring you?
- No! No, no. Tell me more.
Well, the tragedy was she was promised
to another mighty lord...
...a cruel, brutal,
ignorant man...
who couldn't
make her happy.
- Could he?
- Never.
Never, ever.
So what happened?
Well, the young man,
he was proud also.
He could not
control his temper.
He cursed his friend,
the mighty lord.
And he was outlawed
and went off into the greenwood.
And the maiden did nothing,
I suppose.
She was doomed to
marry the cruel lord.
But one day, the young man
received a message from her.
- Did he?
- To ride out alone and meet her.
- What are you saying?
- So he did. And here we are.
Robin!
Robin!
- Marian!
- No, it's a trap! Your story is beautiful.
What are you
talking about? Marian!
- What are you...
- Don't argue! Run for your life!
Back to the river.
We'll have to swim for it.
- Who are you?
- What a time to ask philosophical questions.
Now go!
The river!
Oh!
Come on!
Come on!
The river!
After them! Can none of you swim?
Get the horses. We'll cut them off
on the other side. Move!
Now do you believe me?
- Now, Martin, I want you to talk to me.
- What do you want me to say?
I want you to tell me who you are
and why your hair is dyed black.
I'm just a lusty young youth
with a swagger and an eye for the girls.
- Don't play with me.
- You're so handsome when you're angry.
Do you like me
like this?
Marian!
Halt!
Into the cart.
Whoa!
Hey, you. Did you see
two men cross this road?
- I got eyes, haven't I, soldier?
- Don't give me that, taffy.
- Did you see anyone?
- Taffy, is it?
Well, I did.
Yes, I did see someone.
I saw the king of England
riding by.
One more smart remark,
and I'll...
- No one crossed over, right?
- Dead right, Captain.
- Spot on.
- Back into the woods.
Spread out.
They can't be far away.
Get up there! Come on!
Hyah! Come on!
You can come out now.
Show yourselves.
- Have they gone?
- Yeah.
Cozy in there, isn't it?
I'm Emlyn,
bow-maker extraordinary.
And I don't like folks
as calls me taffy.
Well, Emlyn, you've
saved our lives.
This is Martin, my young squire.
And I'm...
Don't tell me. Let me guess.
They're making songs about you
and your merry men...
...and the tricks
you get up to.
Keeps us all going, Mr. Hood.
It's an honor to have you
onboard my humble cart.
The honor is ours.
What are these things we've been lying on?
Oh. These are
the makings of 100 bows...
...for Baron Daguerre to try out.
Not ordinary bows, mind,
but longbows. See?
They are enormous.
Yeah, six-foot long,
and hits a mark at 200 foot.
And shoots round corners?
I've never met an Englishman
who could resist a bad joke.
No, listen.
Pierces armor at 50 paces.
Norman soldiers?
No bother at all. Wham!
Like a pigeon on a spit.
They're meant
to skewer you, Mr. Hood.
How much is Daguerre
paying you for these?
Fifty marks, if I'm lucky.
Half the time,
these barons don't pay at all.
I'll give you 100 and all the food
you can eat for as long as you stay.
# Oh, tiddly idle, idle dum
Tiddly idle, idle dum #
#Tiddly-aye, tiddly-aye
Tiddly, tiddly oh ##
Back before nightfall. Were you going
to report me missing to Baron Daguerre?
Stop taking stupid risks, Rob.
They want you.
Meet Emlyn.
He has the most extraordinary weapon.
- Now, now.
- A bow, six-foot tall.
- Can shoot through armor at 50 paces.
- Can it shoot round corners?
No, but it fries eggs.
Saxon wit.
Tomorrow I'll give you
a go at it.
Martin, take Emlyn for something to eat
and water his horse.
Anything you say,
Robin. Come on.
They've tripled
the reward for you, Rob.
There's talk of bounty hunters
moving into Nottingham.
- Aye.
- 300 marks, Rob.
That's more than
a poor man's wildest dreams.
Some of them are desperate.
They're starvin'.
Who's to blame 'em for selling out
a bunch of cutthroats?
Who indeed?
There is one way, Rob...
to win them onto our side.
What have you decided?
All right.
Gather around, everyone.
Now, the price on Robin's head
is 300 marks, and on us, even 100.
- I'd sell you for 50.
- You'd sell your mother for a cooked bat.
Some of us have come to a decision.
The taxes we took
in Nottingham are Saxon taxes.
I say we should raise our own taxes...
a tax on every abbot, knight, rich merchant...
...landowner and baron in Barnsdale and
Nottingham, and give that to the poor people.
- What do you say?
- Give it away?
All of it?
You must be crazy!
No, he's not crazy, Harry.
The money belongs to them, not to us.
If we don't, we could lose everything.
Someone's bound to talk.
- Why not?
- Now, don't get this wrong. We still keep some of it.
A collectors' fee, you could call it.
Let's say, huh, half?
So you're all in it?
Well, I say you're all crazy.
Why don't we give them the lot
and our food as well?
Anyone want to join Harry?
You can ride with him
and keep every penny. Speak now.
You're all crazy.
All right.
All right, I'll do it. Here's to it.
Good. Fill these purses.
Will, you and the Runnels
take Wentbridge and Snaith.
Much, Little,
go south to Nottingham.
Marian.
You and I'll go west.
A thousand marks for every village.
And make sure they know who it's from.
From Robin Hood, is it?
They killed Tanzie! Tanzie's dead!
They killed him!
What happened?
I don't know
who you are, young lad...
...and where you've been
not to see who's been at work here.
This is the hand of the
Norman soldier here, my lad.
What did he do wrong?
They said he knew
this Robin Hood.
He didn't.
But if he did,
he wouldn't have told them anything.
So they killed him.
My husband.
And then they took
every piece of food, every animal...
...every valuable thing
in this house...
...even my granddaughter...
- What would you do to men like that?
- I'd kill them.
Here.
It won't bring him back to life,
but it might help you buy some food.
It's yours,
taken back from them...
...by Robin Hood.
Why?
Because they occupy our land.
'Cause we're Saxons.
- I had no idea.
- By the same logic, I should kill you.
- Did you give them the money?
- Yes. Too late.
I don't know what to say,
but I feel guilty.
- What good will that do?
- Clear the way!
Hyah! Hyah!
We should be one, undivided,
equal and free.
Shh.
Yes.
Yes.
He's come for the money.
Ha! Just to show you
what fools you English are.
Right through it, Emlyn?
Holy Mary in heaven!
It really does it.
Like I said, you're English.
- Do you know what I could do
with a hundred of these?
Welsh wizard.
Do you think I'm a foolish king
or a weakling?
You think I can allow
one baron to lose my tax...
while all the others pay...
...or should they pay more
to make up the loss?
- No, sire.
- Majesty!
No, Your Majesty.
- You're not foolish or weak.
- Baron Daguerre...
...it is you who are
foolish and weak.
It's no good pining
for my brother Richard.
He won't be back.
And it's no good trying
to be nice to your peasants.
They'll just rob you.
Yes, Your Majesty.
It was not the king
who let outlaws rob churches...
...cut throats and steal purses
on the Great North Road.
It was not the king who allowed
outlaws to steal his taxes.
No, it is not.
Nor do I permit
this Robin Hood...
...to ride free
over my domains...
...turning into
the people's champion...
...and threatening to topple
the whole feudal order...
without which England
would revert...
...to the anarchy
of former days.
The people are singing
ballads about him.
They see
a new Saxon leader...
...emerging to threaten
my throne.
He merely wants
Norman and Saxon...
...to have respect for each other
and live in peace.
Mm-hmm. So...
...you and he...
...basically... Agree.
He was your friend?
No, Your Majesty.
Where is your niece?
I wish I knew,
Your Majesty.
They say... with him.
I don't know, Your Majesty.
We're going to help you,
Baron Daguerre.
Forty of my finest soldiers
will stay with you.
I shall put them under the command
of Sir Miles Folcanet.
Your Majesty.
At last.
At last.
You may count on me.
You will turn over
every blade of grass...
...in Barnsdale, Sherwood
and Nottingham...
...until this man and his cutthroats
are brought to the gallows...
...and disemboweled
while they still breathe.
I will not have
my throne threatened...
I will not have Saxon
mock Norman...
...and I will have my money!
Don't worry.
We will find him for you.
Martin?
Martin!
Martin?
Martin.
No, can't find him
anywhere.
Harry's up to no good.
Saddle up a dozen horses.
Search the woods.
You, there! Open up!
No peddlers today.
- Off you go.
- I'm no peddler.
Tell Sir Roger I brought
a wedding present for Sir Miles.
Tell him
I brought the bride.
- Let him through!
- Raise the portcullis!
You have changed,
Marian.
Are you all right?
I've never been better.
Look at you. Look what
she's done to herself.
It's nothing to what
I'm going to do to you.
- The hair is not a great improvement.
- It'll scrub out.
- Clean her up!
- You can scrub me, you can dip me in perfume.
It's too late, Miles.
What you want has been
given to another man...
with the greatest
of pleasure!
Go!
Sir, if I've, uh...
If I've been
of some service...
...perhaps there's some small token...
uh, reward...
You found her where?
In Sherwood Forest, sir.
I recognized her straight off.
So then you're not
one of Hode's men?
Oh, no, sir. Not me, sir.
No, he's not a man to be trusted, sir...
...from what I hear.
You are a liar!
Take him down.
Find out everything he knows...
the hideout, weapons, numbers.
Make him sing
any way you please!
No, sir, please! I only
did it for the reward!
I'll tell you everything
about Robin Hood, sir!
Everything, sir! Please, no!
You're sure it was her?
- And they marry tomorrow?
- That's the word.
- I've got to get into the castle.
- It can't be done.
The royal guard are everywhere.
They're dangerous men.
- But forgive me, I must go back.
- Thank you.
You're a good friend.
This wedding
cannot take place.
There are ways into that castle.
Emlyn could drive his cart in.
Robin, you cannot put us all
in danger to stop a wedding.
It may be All Fools'
Day tomorrow...
...but there's no need
for us to carry on as if we're...
- Much, you're a genius.
- Huh?
They expect us to wait here
for them like frightened rabbits.
Harry's probably told them
exactly what they need to know.
But let us not do
what they expect.
Let us take the battle to them
right into their mighty fortress.
- Good, but how?
- As Much says, tomorrow is All Fools' Day...
when the fools' parade cannot be refused
admission, even to the greatest castle.
So we'll have a parade.
Friar Tuck will be the lord of misrule
riding on Emlyn's cart.
Everybody will join in...
mummers, giants, jesters...
...a whole procession
of fools.
Sir Miles, my lady
is not decent.
No, Nicole.
Your lady
is not decent.
But I'll have her
all the same.
Does she understand?
She will be wed tomorrow.
She will stand beside me,
and when the question comes...
...she will answer, "I will. "
You are a foolish,
brutal man, Miles.
Your desire disgusts me!
I will not marry you...
...tomorrow or any day.
I have willingly given myself
to another man.
You will marry me tomorrow!
And your other man
will surely die.
She is your charge.
Make sure she's there
in the morning...
...properly dressed...
...and willing!
Nicole, you're a woman
of great appetite.
Most women are...
...creatures of appetite.
What men don't seem
to understand.
Does it offend you?
No...
...but we must move.
The great wedding day.
I go to bed
a richer man if...
She'll be there.
My brother raised
a proud girl.
No wonder Robert loves her.
That's why he'll be here.
He is here already.
He can't stay away.
Fix that ruby. You're all fingers and thumbs.
Come on, girl.
Put it in the center.
Don'tjust stand there gawping.
Everybody stand back,
out of the way.
You're the most beautiful bride
England's ever seen.
I am the most pitiful bride
England's ever seen.
L...
Make way for the ship of fools!
I am the captain,
the lord of misrule.
Now winter is cracking
the doors of spring.
Here come we
to rejoice and sing...
...to play the fool,
to laugh and quarrel...
...and turn the whole world
upside down.
So loose the animals
into your bed.
Dance and tumble,
pipe and play.
- The sun has driven...
- Stop!
Jack Frost... Away.
You rabble don't
get in here today. Off you go!
On All Fools' Day,
neither rich man, nor poor...
...on the guises
may close his door...
...or laughter andjoy
will be his nevermore.
So open up in the name of folly!
Bring us some wine and fill our belly.
We'll have some fun
with jests and song.
We'll make you laugh
and we'll right all wrong.
Let them in.
Take it up!
We come here today in the sight
of Almighty God...
...to join these two together
in holy matrimony.
Down with the demon king!
Liberate the devils!
Here,
take these quickly!
- Come on!
- Hand 'em out!
Come on. Fight!
Come on. Fight!
Come on!
Come on!
Marian, daughter of
Sir Reginald Daguerre of Westlake...
...do you swear
before Almighty God...
...to take this man,
Miles Folcanet, knight of Derby...
...as your lawful
wedded husband...
...to have and to hold,
to cleave to in the flesh...
...to love, honor and obey...
...for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health?
You say, "I do. "
Marian?
I will not marry him...
Not before God
or anyone else.
Draw!
Shoot!
Draw!
Shoot!
I'll take her. Whether she says yes or no,
it doesn't matter.
In the sight of God,
all things are made plain, my son.
And it seems quite plain
she doesn't want you.
Abbot, your opinion
was not asked for...
...nor for that matter
was your version of God's opinion.
Pronounce us
man and wife now...
...or you'll be
consulting God direct!
Take the castle!
Come on!
Good morning, Baron.
Good morning, Sir Miles.
Hold tight, Marian.
- Hode.
- Folcanet.
- Hode.
- Folcanet.
This time you have bitten off
more than you can chew!
Lecherous...
...treacherous...
...evil...
Saxon...
...lout!
- Please, I'm dying. A priest.
- I am a priest!
I must confess my sins
before I meet my maker!
- You haven't got time.
- Please, give me a blessing!
My son...
Your sins are forgiven.
You have played your last trick.
Come on! This way!
Daguerre!
You have blood on your hands, Baron...
the blood of my people!
And for what reason?
To keep us down...
...and to keep your incompetent kings
upon a dung heap.
Ha! Incompetent for a Saxon!
You lost, remember? You know why?
Because you're too incompetent to win.
Lie!
We will make England the greatest nation
in the world in spite of the English!
A nation of serfs
led by thieves...
...plunderers and autocrats.
Is that really what
you want, Baron?
We could conquer Europe.
More serfs,
more autocrats.
Give me back my country.
It is my country too.
Then drop your sword.
And out goes your candle!
Marian!
Robin!
I'll cut you in two
like the viper you are.
Beware my
flickering tongue, Miles.
You're dead, snake.
Welcome to hell.
My friends, I,
baron and feudal lord of this shire...
...do here, in your sight,
pay homage to those...
whose claim to this land
is older and more sacred than mine...
...to sir Robert Hode
and to all of you.
Stand up, Roger.
- We all live on this island.
- We do.
And to point the way
to the future...
...let us have a wedding between Saxon
and Norman, between Robert and Marian!
Provided, of course,
she agrees.
I will not marry to symbolize a peace
or to ratify a treaty.
But this man
I will take...
...because he makes
the May tree blossom...
...and the bees buzz
in my breast.
I will take this man...
...because he brings springtime
to my heart.
By the toe
of Saint George and the tail of a trout...
...let the cockerels crow
and the bells ring out.
Let the green shoots thrust
through the snow and ice...
...let little girls giggle
and taste of spice.
For a wedding, a union,
a coupling we crave...
...and a jigging it
up and down we shall have.