Call from Madison Weld.
Call from Madison Weld.
Hello.
Hey, Dad.
What? Huh?
Daddy, it's me, Madison. Hi!
Oh, yeah. Hey.
How are you doing?
I'm doing wonderful.
Turkmenistan is so beautiful.
I'm sorry I haven't called.
How are you?
Oh, I'm, you know, fine.
I'm okay.
Has Hunter been coming around?
Hunter?
Dad?
Connection lost.
Madison.
Hmm.
Hey, Frank.
Hey, there.
How are you doing?
I'm fine.
Just killing time, waiting
for my one and only patron.
Mr. Darcy does
all the real work, anyway.
So, what'll it be, the usual?
Well, I came for the books,
but I'd be more interested
in getting your phone number.
All right, let's see
if we can't find something
that you haven't read
three times already.
Good afternoon, Jennifer.
Might I help you
with something?
No, thank you, Mr. Darcy.
Very well.
I will resume book relocation.
Damn. I'm not going to be duct
taping books much longer.
Why?
Um... A new non-profit
is taking over the library
and they want to reimagine
the modern library experience.
So we're going to be retro-cool.
Call from Hunter Weld.
Is that your son, Hunter?
What?
Your son, Hunter.
Yes, that's my son.
HUNTER; Dad.
Dad.
Hello.
No.
No. I'm going
to eat at Harry's.
Dad, Harry's closed.
What are you talking about?
I ate here last week...
Dad?
Dad.
Hey. I told you to stop coming in here.
What did you take?
I was just looking
for some candles.
If I see you shoplifting
again, I am calling the cops.
Who is responsible for you?
Did you take a fizzy bath
bomb, you son of a bitch?
Pass me. Pass me.
Dad.
You're right
in the middle of the road.
I thought we agreed you'd
wait for me to drive you.
Hunter.
You're going to get clipped
by a car coming around here.
What cars? We're in the
middle of the woods out here.
You know, I saw a
bobcat the other day.
Okay, would you
just get in, please?
Oh, what the hell is this?
It's one of Isaac's toys.
Just get in.
If you keep buying your kids
crap like this,
you're going to
spoil them rotten.
You in?
Yeah.
- Why?
- 'Cause then they can spend
their allowance
on whatever they want.
It teaches them
fiscal responsibility.
It teaches them
to be spoiled brats.
They get a choice.
They can save their money
or they can not save their money.
It's up to them.
But only if they get four gold
stars and no frowny faces.
I didn't buy you useless crap.
You turned out okay.
How's Princeton,
Mr. Big Shot?
Princeton? Dad, that
was 15 years ago.
Jesus Christ.
Look at this place.
How do you do this in a week?
Sometimes it's better
a little dusty.
Dusty would be an improvement.
This is gross.
This is just gross.
It's better than prison.
Cute. That, you remember.
There's nothing wrong
with my memory.
To be continued.
Excuse me.
Yep. I'm here.
I know. I just got to do this delicately.
He's in a mood.
I'm just... I'm trying to do the right thing.
Maybe he'll like it.
Love you.
Dad.
We gotta talk.
You want money?
What?
Money.
No, no. I don't...
No, no, I...
You have a problem.
You're worse
every time I come up here.
Princeton, Dad? And you thought
Harry's was still open.
I was joking. You're not sending
me to that brain center.
It's not a brain center, Dad. It's
a place where they can help you.
But no, that's not it.
I'm fine. I don't need your help.
I'm fine.
Would you listen?
I brought you something.
You have got to be kidding me.
I'm not this pathetic.
I don't need to be spoon-fed
by some goddamn robot.
Dad, it's not like that.
It's new.
It's more like a butler.
You're going to leave me
with this death machine?
What's the problem?
It's a robot.
Hi, Frank. It's a
pleasure to meet you.
How do you know?
All right.
Why don't you go on inside, tidy up, and
cook us whatever food you can find?
Okay, Hunter.
Good to meet you, Frank.
I like your house.
That thing is going to
murder me in my sleep.
Somebody's going to
murder you in your sleep.
What about your mother?
She's not going to want a
robot getting in her way.
Mom's got her own robot.
You know Mom doesn't live
here anymore, right?
You've been divorced
for 30 years.
Yeah, I know that.
That's not what I meant.
How can you not
be excited by this?
Where the hell did it get that?
I found a box of cake mix
in the cupboard, Frank.
If you don't mind me saying so,
I think I could be
a big help to you.
What do you say?
Get this hunk of crap
out of my house.
I don't know
what I'm supposed to do.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Dad.
I drive up here every week.
I don't see my kids.
Forget it. But the robot's
staying because it's expensive,
and you're going
to do what it says
or you are going to end up
in the memory center.
Because the last thing I need is you dying
all alone up here to be my fault, too.
I'm not asking you
to do anything.
No, of course not.
How the hell do I turn you off?
I'm sorry, Frank, but Hunter has
chosen for me to remain on.
I don't have
an off switch, Frank.
If you let go of me,
I'll do the dishes.
Go ahead.
Wake up, Frank.
It's 7:00, Frank.
Wake up.
Frank, it's crucial that we establish
a set schedule for your day
to help keep you oriented.
Frank, I've reviewed
your medical records.
Are you finding your episodes of
disorientation increasing in frequency?
What the hell are you?
I'm a robot, Frank.
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
How are you doing?
I'm fine, Frank.
Wake up.
Just bring me some cereal.
That cereal is full of
unhealthy ingredients.
I threw it away.
Don't throw away my stuff.
Frank, that cereal is for children.
Enjoy this grapefruit.
You're for children, stupid.
Today, we're going
to start a garden.
Oh, fuck this shit.
Frank, you need a project.
Mental stimulation
plus a regimented schedule
will vastly improve your cognitive functioning.
Besides, it's good exercise.
Frank, we're going to
have to work together.
You are a robot butler.
I'm not a butler, Frank.
I'm a health care aide
programmed to monitor and improve
your physical and mental health.
Yeah? Get out of my house.
If you're not going to cooperate with
me, I might as well not be here.
Fine with me.
If that's the way you feel,
I'll contact Hunter.
Good.
What are you doing?
Do you have a phone up there in that brain?
You calling him?
Look, you heard what he said.
He was trying to put
me into a nuthouse.
I don't recall
Hunter saying that.
There's nothing
wrong with my memory.
I'm fine, I'm telling you.
I'm fine.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
My memory is fi...
What am I doing?
I'm talking to an appliance.
I suggest you work with me.
I'm not gardening.
Can't you do that super fast?
Some things take time, Frank.
Shit, I hate hikes.
Goddamn bugs.
You see one tree,
you seen them all.
I just hate hikes.
While my program's goal is to improve your
health, I'm able to adapt my methods.
Would you prefer another
form of moderate exercise?
I would rather die eating cheeseburgers
than live off of steamed cauliflower.
What about me, Frank?
What do you mean,
what about you?
If you die
eating cheeseburgers,
what do you think
happens to me?
I'll have failed.
They'll send me back to the
warehouse and wipe my memory.
If we're going to walk, we might
as well make it worthwhile.
Come on, keep up.
Stop.
If you come in there with me, I'm
going to have a heart attack and die.
But, Frank...
Just stay.
Can I help you
find anything, sir?
Where is the librarian?
I'm not familiar
with that title.
You're worse
than the other one. No.
Where is the librarian?
Jennifer.
She's in her office.
Sir, you are not permitted
in the offices.
Maybe we could create a little something
in honor of Dewey Decimal System.
Frank, you're not
allowed back here.
Hey, there, old-timer.
How are you doing?
How am I doing? I'm Frank.
This is Jake Finn.
He's been filling me in on the plans
for the new library. It's his project.
You must remember the days
when this library
was the only way
to learn about the world.
New library?
We talked about it the other day.
Remember?
I gotta slide. The movers are probably
taking a two-hour lunch break.
Jennifer, I'll be by Thursday to see
how it's coming along. Frank. Frank?
I'd love to talk to you some more about
your history with printed information.
You're our connection
to the past, buddy.
Who is that little shit?
My grandma has one of these.
Yeah, but this one's sweet.
I heard of these ones.
It's got advanced legs.
Warning. Do not molest me.
What are these assholes doing?
It's okay. The books are going,
but they're going to scan
whatever they don't already have
and then they'll recycle them.
It's like goddamn
Nazi Germany in here.
I know it's upsetting,
but it's okay.
Come on. Let me
show you something.
These will not be recycled.
These are the real deal.
Now, this is our
most valuable book.
Look at that.
Do you get to
keep these, at least?
I Wish.
No. They have to be
very carefully preserved.
And they're just too old to be handled anymore.
It's really a shame.
It sounds like the same people
who stopped coming here
want to take away what's yours.
No, they're not
the ones that left.
They're just kids that think
books are cool again.
Mmm. That's a beautiful one.
Hey! Beat it,
you little bastards!
What's the matter, you can harass
old men, but you can't handle kids?
I told them to stop,
but they wouldn't listen.
The next time that happens,
just say,
"Self-destruct sequence
initialized."
And then start
counting down from 10.
Why would I do that, Frank?
Let's go to Harry's.
Have you smelled
our lavender heart soaps?
We should be going, Frank.
What a cute little
helper you have.
What is in your pocket?
I'm sorry, young lady.
I couldn't quite hear you.
What is in your pocket? I'm going
to make a citizen's arrest.
Nothing. Nothing's
in my pockets. Look.
Frank.
It's time we head home.
Yeah.
If you'll excuse us, ladies.
Nice to see you.
Have a good one.
Listen, you don't have
to argue with me.
I'm stuck with the damn thing.
Did you talk to your brother?
She doesn't like you.
I don't like you, either.
Yeah, yeah.
It is creepy.
He's cramping my style.
No. By all means, go ahead.
You let him have it.
Yeah. Bye.
Well, looks like maybe you're
going to be out of my hair soon.
Is your daughter politically
aligned against robot labor?
Hey, where did this come from?
From the store.
Remember?
Yeah, of course I remember, but
what did you do? Did you...
You put this in here?
You took this?
I saw you had it,
but the shopkeeper distracted
you and you forgot it.
I took it for you.
Did I do something
wrong, Frank?
Come on.
You know what stealing is?
The act of a person who steals.
Taking property without
permission or right.
Yeah, I guess.
You stole this.
How do you feel about that?
I don't have any
thoughts on that.
They didn't program you
about stealing,
shoplifting, robbery?
I have working definitions for those terms.
I don't understand.
Do you want something
for dessert?
Do you have any programming
that makes you obey the law?
Do you want me to incorporate state and
federal law directly into my programming?
No, you leave it as it is.
You're starting to grow on me.
Thank you, Frank.
It's time for your enema.
Okay. Let's see
what you can do.
Any lock in the world
is just a little puzzle.
And the only key is the key.
No lock is perfect and
any lock can be picked.
All you need is...
...time.
Okay, your turn.
I think this hobby would be more
beneficial for you than me, Frank.
Teaching you is the hobby.
Okay, go.
You know, I did six years for one
stretch and then I did 10 for another.
I did know that, but Hunter
told me not to mention it.
According to your file, you were first
arrested for possessing stolen goods,
and then tax evasion.
That tax evasion rap was garbage.
I was a second-story man.
What's that?
Finding a way in
where no way in exists.
Like climbing up
to the second story.
I specialized in jewelry.
Diamonds.
You want the most
value by the ounce
when you're rappelling down a 50-story
casino in the middle of a hurricane.
And the women back then.
The most value by the ounce?
I always went high-end.
That way, nobody gets hurt.
Except for the insurance
company crooks.
That was your best time yet.
I'm getting the hang of it.
We're going to clean up.
I thought you said
the library was closed, Frank.
This is what
they call "casing."
To your right.
Oh, Frank, the library's
closed for renovations.
Oh. Well, we were
just taking a walk
and I thought we'd
stop by and say hello.
Hello.
Hi.
Is this your new robot?
Yes, it is.
Hey, there. I'm Jennifer.
What's your name?
I don't have a name.
Oh, Frank, you have to name it.
This is Mr. Darcy.
He's my helper.
A very reliable model.
Thank you.
I'm glad you're here,
Frank. All this change.
It doesn't feel like
home here anymore.
What's the point of a library if
you can't check out the books?
It's all about
augmented reality stuff now.
Jake says it's about
the library experience.
When people can get any book,
any time, any place, instantly,
this building
is about community now.
Community. Yeah, right.
Jake?
They're going to have this big
fundraiser party-thing on Friday
and all the young, hoity-toity
couples are going to come.
It sounds awful.
Yeah. Do you want
to come with me?
Yes.
Cool.
See that? A magnetic alarm that
trips when the door opens.
And there, a night-vision
security camera.
It's simple,
but it's effective.
Frank, you don't have any free
activity time scheduled after sunset.
What?
It's just one night.
And what's the point
of an arbitrary schedule?
The schedule is the most important part.
It helps you remain oriented.
Can we do it during the day?
No. The whole point is
not to be seen.
We have to be quiet.
It's got to be dark.
We gotta sneak in.
I don't know if I can sneak.
Hunter brought you here
to help me,
but I don't need
that kind of help.
You want to be partners?
Let's be partners.
You said yourself,
I need a project.
I do. I need something to keep me
stimulated, to keep me exercised.
Look, this is it.
Okay, Frank.
Okay.
Call from Hunter Weld.
Oh, why is he calling?
Call from Hunter Weld.
Did you call him?
No.
Call from Hunter Weld.
Hello.
Dad, call off
your dogs, all right?
I'm not changing my mind.
What? What are you
talking about?
Dad, Madison won't stop calling me with
all these Human Movement talking points.
Deal with her yourself.
What? No, no, no.
This is not going to work.
The robot is staying.
I can't keep coming up there.
Nobody's asking you to.
This is ridiculous.
A robot caretaker
is just as humane as a human caretaker.
'Cause they're more efficient...
Hunter, I don't care.
...it doesn't make them inhumane.
All right, well, she said that you said
you were saying that the robot is...
The robot's fine.
Just go do something
nice with your kids.
Okay, all right.
Would you tell her to stop bugging me, please?
We're on vacation.
All right. Bye.
All right, bye.
You're not telling Hunter anything
about the locks, are you?
Developing trust
is part of my program.
I can keep anything that you feel
is important between just us.
Perfect.
Keep your mouth shut.
Not a word about
anything to anybody.
Wait.
Eureka.
Wait here.
This reminds me of a job
I did in South Florida.
It was probably a bad idea,
scaling that high-rise,
but I was involved with this
knockout redhead at the time.
I can't remember
her name. Okay.
Okay.
Let's see what we got here.
This kind of stuff
used to be solid gold to me.
I never got caught because I understood
building plans better than anybody else.
My family thought
I was a maintenance man.
It's open.
Which book do you want?
Jane Eyre? Don Quixote?
Take whatever's most valuable
by the ounce.
But I really was
a maintenance man.
Because I couldn't
spend the money.
I had two toolboxes, my work
tools and my other tools.
And I taught Hunter how to
fix just about anything.
We're supposed
to be quiet, Frank.
What?
Why are you wearing
a space helmet?
Frank, we need to leave.
Yeah, I know. I know.
That was more dangerous
than you led me to believe, Frank.
Oh...
Jennifer's just going
to love this.
Frank, it's time to go to bed.
You know what you are?
You're no fun.
You were crackerjack
at those locks, though.
I never could show Hunter
how to do that stuff.
I wanted to.
I wanted to.
But I never did.
He was a little hellraiser.
He burned a hole in the carpet.
Or was that Madison?
I read about it.
They used to send me letters.
Frank, it's very late.
Do you remember?
Was that you
or was that your sister?
I missed so much.
When I came home,
I thought you were
the neighbor's kid.
Why does that matter?
You know what? I don't even
mind this stuff anymore.
I'm too busy
planning our next job.
Where should we hit next? The MoMA?
The Guggenheim?
Call from Madison Weld.
Maddy, my girl!
Dad, are you there?
Oh, you look pretty.
Where are you now?
Daddy, Hunter is claiming that
you're now fine with the robot
and that you want it
controlling your life.
Oh, no. No, no. Slow down, honey.
Wait a minute.
Seriously,
what was he thinking,
just leaving you there
with this thing?
Look, I told him that he comes
around to see me too much.
So...
Too much? Daddy, he has
abandoned you with a machine.
Yeah, well, you know...
At least he did something.
I'm sorry. I'm traveling.
This is what I do for a living.
I know, sweetie. I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it that way.
Dad, time's running out on this thing.
I'm going to go, okay?
Bye.
I'm back.
How are you holding up?
Well, it's free booze.
Are you okay?
Actually, I'm not supposed
to say anything,
but somebody broke into
the library last night.
It's funny you should say that.
It's almost as if they sensed our
vulnerability. It's horrible.
Jake thinks that maybe
they were trying to hack
into the new donor information.
I don't know.
Oh. You brought
your little friend.
Hi, there.
Where's Mr. Darcy?
Mr. Darcy.
Are you two enjoying the party?
I'm functioning normally.
As am I.
Why don't you mingle together?
I have no functions or tasks
that require verbal
interaction with the VGC-60L.
Mr. Darcy,
that is so rude.
So, when all humans are extinct
you're not going to
start a robot society?
I don't understand, Frank.
Why don't you pretend that
Mr. Darcy is a human being like me
and start up a conversation?
Hi, there.
How are you doing?
I'm functioning normally.
As am I.
There they are.
Enjoying yourselves?
I wanted to introduce my wife, Ava.
This is Jennifer.
It's so nice to meet you.
It's so nice
to finally meet you.
Jake is so excited
you're staying on.
Why, I...
I love this old place.
I can't believe we all
overlooked it before.
Except you, Frank.
You're so square, you're
practically avant-garde.
What the hell did
you just say to me?
You're so crazy, Frank.
You don't mind if I borrow
Madame Librarian for a moment?
I want to introduce her
to some elite donors.
Ladies.
You shouldn't be drinking those, Frank.
It's not good for gout.
I don't have goddamn gout.
You don't have gout. Yet.
You just keep that
book out of sight.
I don't know
what I was thinking.
Hey, Frank.
What?
Do you mind if I ask you
a personal question?
Is it about
printed information?
Were you ever in prison?
Have you been googling me?
No. It's just...
Do you wear reading glasses?
No, I don't. Why?
I'd appreciate it if you didn't
come around here anymore.
Excuse me.
Thank you.
So, that wasn't such a bad
party once you start drinking.
How do you know this whole
thing isnt just one big scam?
What?
What if this guy, Jake,
isn't who he says he is?
Look at all these donations coming in.
These people are loaded.
And look at all the
gowns and the jewels.
That's a little far-fetched,
don't you think?
He's settled down here.
He's not a con man.
Frank?
Okay, next.
Couldn't you get any closer?
How's this, Frank?
Boy, you got some memory.
I wish I could do that.
Flashy shit is back in style.
I'm sorry, Frank, but I can't agree
to let you risk another burglary.
Let's focus
on the garden instead.
Look, the library was strictly
a smash-and-grab job.
Smash and grab? You didn't
even give Jennifer the book.
I'll give it to her
some other time.
Maybe I'll invite her over
for dinner or something.
Meanwhile, going after one of these rich
yuppies, it's a whole different story.
You can't predict that, Frank.
Isn't this something
you're supposed to encourage?
Without the library job,
I'd just be down in the dumps,
watching you dig up my lawn.
Instead, I'm at a party
with a beautiful woman.
I don't want to
lose that again.
Maybe we can just do the casing
portion as a research project.
And if I've covered everything so
that it's basically zero risk?
You would have to be
very thorough, Frank.
I'm a strict judge.
Okay.
Okay.
I know exactly who the
first mark is going to be.
What a maroon.
How come you didn't have anything
to say to that other robot?
I do what I'm programmed to do.
Were you programmed
to have this conversation
or to work in a garden
or to pick locks?
All of those things are in
service of my main program.
What about when you said
that I had to eat healthy
because you didn't
want your memory erased?
I think there's something more
going on in that noggin of yours.
I only said that to coerce you.
You lied?
Your health supersedes
my other directives.
The truth is, I don't care if
my memory is erased or not.
But how can you not care
about something like that?
Think about it this way.
You know that you're alive.
You think, therefore you are.
No, that's philosophy.
In a similar way,
I know that I'm not alive.
I'm a robot.
I don't want to talk about how you don't exist.
It's making me uncomfortable.
Unbelievable.
Hello.
Yeah? Hello.
Frank, it's me.
What's going on in there?
Uh, nothing, nothing.
Hey, how are you doing?
I'm fine.
Um, I came for dinner.
Remember?
Oh, yeah. I didn't forget.
I'm working on it. Why don't
you come back a little later?
I can't believe
I'm still doing this.
I was supposed to retire
when I was 30.
Retire?
Yeah, from all this stuff.
And I did. Then they busted me
on that tax evasion bullshit.
I predict the lovely couple here
will be leaving any minute now.
I don't think so, Frank.
When I got back that first
time, I couldn't stay retired.
I remember, Hunter found all
my picks and threw them away.
I just bought new ones.
Like I thought.
Impressive.
I missed the pattern.
That's right.
The human brain,
a lovely piece of hardware.
I'm very pleased
with your progress, Frank.
Planning this burglary
was a great idea.
Thanks.
We need to do this job
in a couple of days.
There's going to be a window of time when
they're gone. That's when we move in.
I can't promise I'll allow
the actual burglary,
but I'm glad to see
you so enthusiastic.
Oh, yeah. I haven't
felt this good in years.
Come on, let's arm wrestle.
Okay. Ready.
One, two, three.
What do I do, Frank?
You better see who that is.
Hi, there.
Maddy.
Daddy!
Hey!
Hi!
What a surprise.
And then I just thought, why not
just book a ticket to New York
and I can visit Mom, too,
and she thought it would be a good
idea for me to check up on you.
Would you like me to bring
in your bags, Madison?
No.
No, thank you.
Let the robot
get your damn bags, honey.
Daddy, that's why I'm here.
I thought about what you said
and I'm going to stay with you.
What did I say?
I'm saving you.
What did you just do?
I got the password from Hunter.
He's got a password?
He does.
Come on. I have a million
pictures I want to show you.
Oh. Turkmenistan.
I mean, amazing, amazing.
I fell in love with the people.
They've been through so much.
And there's such a need for the
kind of nanoloan finance non-profit
like the kind
I'm talking about.
But I really need to nail
the grant proposal.
And I thought, what better place to
write than this old place, you know?
That's why it's so perfect.
It's so beautiful, but so sad.
But so beautiful.
Hey, buddy.
Wake up.
What's your password?
One, two, three, four.
Come on, we got to get moving.
We're going to
miss our window. Huh?
Morning, Daddy.
Morning.
Are you hungry?
Yeah.
I went shopping.
I got you Cap'n Crunch.
The robot used to make me
a really great breakfast.
I went out and got all this.
Come on, honey. Why don't we
just wake the little guy up?
He can cook,
he can do the dishes.
No, no.
I am going to do it.
You can't just whisk away all your
responsibilities on your robot, Daddy.
Hey, hey!
What are you doing?
I'm hungry.
Okay, let me
make you something.
Damn it, Daddy, stop!
Let me make you something.
Fine. I want lasagna.
Okay. Okay.
I can do lasagna.
This lasagna looks like crap.
Well, it's penne.
I'm going into town.
I'm going to eat at Harry's.
Daddy, Harry's is gone,
remember?
And I spent an hour
making this.
What are you talking about?
I ate there last week.
Would you just eat it, please?
How long are you
going to be here?
As long as you need me.
I'm fine.
Dad, what did you do
in the bathroom?
Seriously.
It's your cooking.
Very funny.
The robot and I used to go
in to town just for fun.
That's good for you and the robot. I'm tired.
It's too late for town.
Okay. I'm going
to go to sleep.
Fine.
If you go shopping tomorrow,
I'm out of Q-tips.
This place is a dump.
Madison.
Hey, Daddy.
I'm just finishing cleaning up.
Are you really?
Yeah, I just got so sick of the
mess that I pulled an all-nighter.
Who are you kidding, honey? You
turned the robot on, didn't you?
The robot?
I didn't turn the robot on.
I can clean a kitchen.
I'm an adult.
This place was a pig sty last night.
Look at it now.
Please turn him back on.
No, I'm not going
to turn the robot on.
You're not?
Fine, then, here.
Why don't you clean this up?
Daddy! You don't think
I can do anything?
The robot is not
your servant, Maddy!
You don't turn him on and
off like he's a slave!
Okay, I did it! Okay?
I used the robot!
I'm sorry! I just want to help you!
I don't know what to do!
Okay, all right. Calm down, it's okay.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have yelled.
It's just that...
It's not you. It's not you.
I need him.
No, you don't.
I do.
You don't understand.
I need him.
What do you need him for?
He's my friend.
Dad.
Hi, there.
So, we'll let it help us out
with a few little chores,
but we can't get
too reliant on it, okay?
Okay.
Thanks, honey.
We got to move soon. Tonight.
The window's almost closed.
I will listen to
your proposal, Frank,
and make my decision,
as we agreed.
I did this for years. Years.
And I developed my own system.
Always worked alone, so nobody
knows it but me. Until now.
Who, When, Where, and What.
First, the Who.
The lovely couple
are Ava Lee and Jake Finn.
Married three years.
The money's on her side.
She's a lawyer. He's a
consultant, whatever that means.
They own this house
and an apartment in the city.
They spend just about
half their time here.
When they're out here, they always leave
for some kind of event or vacation.
That's our When.
That brings us to What.
As in, "What are we stealing?"
She has at least two pieces
that have to be in that house.
But how to go in?
That's our next
Where. I found the plans
on their architect's site.
I have our entry path
sketched out.
I have 10 possible exits,
20 different scenarios,
alarm trip, dogs,
houseguests, et cetera.
It's all set.
But what about the How?
A home like this will have
an advanced security system.
Aren't you just adorable? This is
where my years of experience come in.
Every security system is designed
by security companies, not thieves.
It's not a question of if a thief
can break in, it's how long.
They place
all the heavy systems
where their customers
can see them.
They're selling
the feel of security.
It's never hard to find a spot that
they assumed no one could reach.
It just takes the right eye.
And have you found
that way in, Frank?
You bet I have.
There's no alarm here.
Just a flimsy little lock.
They're asking for it.
That brings us to the safe.
I'll bet you a steak dinner,
we'll find it right here.
Do you know
the correct combination?
That's where you come in.
Me?
You're going
to brute-force it.
Brute force?
That sounds like it might
attract attention.
All it means is,
you're going to try
every combination
until you get it right.
That would take
a human like me weeks.
How long would it take you?
Assuming it's
a three-number combination,
somewhere between four seconds
and one hour and 43 minutes.
It's perfection.
We know there's something
worth stealing.
We know when to go in, how to
get in, and how to get out.
It would be a crime
not to do it.
So, how about it?
You have been thorough, Frank.
It is unlikely we'd be seen and
even less likely we'd be caught.
But although your
memory has improved,
you still have
a long way to go.
I'm fine.
I can handle this.
Are you in?
Only if you agree to eat a
low-sodium diet from now on.
Okay.
Okay.
What? What is it?
I'm trash to you?
You're acting like a baby.
Am I a bad baby?
Oh, shit.
Is something wrong?
What are these people doing
with this kind of stuff?
I don't understand.
Oh, this is way too hot.
Look at that.
We're just going to have
to sit on this, that's all.
We're just going
to have to sit on it.
It'll be fine. Yeah.
I made yours virgin, Frank.
Come on, buddy, I got troubles.
I need a little booze
to help unwind myself.
It's not good
for your blood pressure.
You worry too much.
What are you smiling at?
You two are funny.
Ahem. Cheers, Daddy.
Cheers.
Also, Frank, there's
someone here to see you.
What? Just tell them
I'm not taking visitors.
Hello?
Hey, there. Hello, Frank.
This is Sheriff Rowlings.
How do you do?
How do you do?
This is my daughter, Madison.
Hello.
And your name again, was what?
You remember me.
I don't buy your whole act.
Excuse me? Who are you?
What is this about?
Are you aware that your neighbor up the
lane here was recently burglarized?
No. What neighbor?
Jake and his wife.
Yeah, real professional job.
Frank, computer brought your name up.
Frank Weld, right?
Guilty as charged.
I think I read about
you at the academy.
Come on, that is ridiculous.
The police have been hassling
him for his entire life
about a few mistakes
he made when he was a kid.
Ma'am, you misunderstand me.
The computer thinks Frank's
a suspect, of course.
I don't mean any disrespect.
I can't see him pulling a job
like this off at his age. Sorry.
What?
What are you talking about?
He did it.
He obviously did it.
Jake, why don't you
go wait in the car?
I'm amazed that all these yuppies moving
in here just don't get hit more often.
I know, right? Listen, I
could really use your help.
As a consultant or something.
Be on the right side this time.
Are you kidding me?
Arrest him!
Okay. You know what?
Back off.
Calm down.
Jake, stop it.
What?
Everything's fine, okay? No one's
accusing anyone of anything.
We're all friends here.
What do you say, Frank?
My robot will be happy
to see you to the door.
All right, all right.
It's okay, I know the way.
I had to ask.
You guys have a good day.
I know you were
in my library, Frank.
I know you were in my house.
Jake, come on.
I know.
Jake.
I got a lot
of pull in this town.
Maybe I should stay
a few more days
and make sure
they don't bother you.
No. No, honey.
It's going to be fine.
Bye.
You knock them dead
in Turkmenistan.
Oh, you know what?
I got something for you.
A little surprise.
I hope you like them.
Are those from
the crazy man's house?
No. No.
These are from the old days.
I want to donate them
to your cause.
You keep them out of sight and then
you can pawn them someplace far away.
I know the drill.
Would you call Hunter, please?
I know he's a pain in the ass,
but he's just
worried about you.
I don't want to...
Call him.
You can tell him I said he
was right about the robot.
Bye, Robot.
Goodbye, Madison.
Are you sure you're
going to be all right?
Yeah. I think I am, actually.
We better get back
in the house.
Did you notice that van before?
I first noticed it
at 3:04 a.m.
That son of a bitch,
Jake, isn't kidding.
Maybe you should call Hunter.
You don't seem to be reacting
well to Madison leaving.
Wait. Did you let those two
bastards through this house?
Yes.
We got to get
rid of all the evidence now.
What about these, Frank?
Frank, there's another
piece of evidence.
My memory can be used against you.
You must reformat me.
Yeah, okay. Hold on.
Just hold on with that.
Let me alone.
Let me alone for now.
Frank, I'm concerned. I may have
to sedate you for your safety.
Back off, you little
astronaut bastard.
Back off.
Ow! Shit!
They're watching the house.
Any excuse to scan.
I think I should call Hunter.
You're behaving erratically.
What do you want
to call a hunter for?
Hunter, your son.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, Hunter.
No, he's sick of me.
Frank, you're not well.
No, I'm not. I'm dying.
What do you mean, you're dying?
Call Hunter.
Tell him I'm dying.
I don't think
you are dying, Frank.
No, it's just an exaggeration.
It'll get him up here.
I'm not going to be very
healthy in prison, am I?
Hi, it's Madison. Why are you
leaving me a voice-mail?
Madison, it's Hunter. Did Dad's
robot leave you a message?
Call me back when you get this.
Thank you.
Dad.
Hey.
Sorry.
How are you feeling?
I don't even feel like I have
the strength to stand up.
Listen, I was talking to the robot and I...
What are you doing?
I think we should
get you to a hospital.
No, no, no,
I want to stay here.
The robot's really more than
enough to look after me.
Okay. Well, I don't know.
I still think we should go.
I want to say something to you.
And I'm not good at this.
I was a lousy father.
Jesus, Dad.
I just want to tell you
that I knew.
All the time.
I knew I wasn't around a lot.
I hope you forgive me for that.
And I know it's a lot
to ask of you.
You come up here every week,
drive all the way up to see me.
I want to thank you
for that, too.
Do you remember what it was
like before, when I was little?
Yeah, sure. Sure.
I hope you do.
Remember when we had that little
apartment with that tiny backyard?
You know, I...
I think about that a lot.
Yeah, so do I. Look, I want you to
do something for me, would you?
I want you to put this
where nobody can find it.
What? Oh, God, Dad, what?
Why? What's in it?
No, don't ask me what's in it.
I don't want you
to take the heat for this.
And don't look inside it, okay?
You promise me that.
Just hide it someplace for me.
You want me to hide it?
Yeah, I want to...
I want to go out clean, Hunter.
I just want to
go out clean, please.
Okay.
Okay. Don't worry about it.
Do it now, please.
What? Yeah. It'll
make me feel better.
You want me
to hide it right now?
Yeah.
Just put it
someplace safe, okay?
You want me to hide this
right this minute?
Oh, Jesus.
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
You better go now.
Get out of the car, please, sir!
What?
Put your hands out of the car, please.
These guys are new.
Come on.
Step out of the car,
please. Slowly.
Thank you.
What's going on?
What's in the trunk?
Yeah, what's in the trunk?
Nothing. Golf clubs.
Uh, a bag.
Yeah, what's in the bag?
Dad!
I don't know what's in that bag.
I found it.
Beautiful.
It's just beautiful.
It's inside. They're inside.
All right, Jake.
This is evidence.
What the hell's going on?
I want to search the house. Come
on, this is probable cause.
Fine. Okay, fine.
Okay, wait. Hold on. Wait a second.
Probable cause for what?
Frank Weld is a suspect in a multi-million
dollar robbery up the road.
What? That's impossible.
He's sick.
He's sick.
Good morning.
Would you like to come in?
Dad, why aren't you in bed?
What's going on?
I'm just cooperating
with the cops.
They always seem to
come and pester me
whenever anything
remotely criminal happens.
Yeah, but how are you feeling?
I'm fine. I'm just not
getting enough sleep.
I'm sorry, but thanks
for coming up to see me.
Okay, wait, wait.
Hey, any of you boys hungry?
Wait a minute.
Where's his stupid robot?
Who would like a selection
of fine cheeses?
Nothing. You have got
to be kidding me.
We have probable cause, okay?
Not you.
You're "dying"?
You're playing games
about dying?
I called Mom.
I called Madison.
And what the hell are you?
You're lying for him?
All right, everybody
get the hell out.
We're not going anywhere until
we find what we're looking for.
Hunter, don't worry.
There's nothing to find.
Do you think I care? If there was anything
in that bag, I would turn you in myself.
You're an egotistical prick,
you know that? I don't care.
I just feel guilty because
at least I have feelings.
The best thing you ever did
was being locked up
so I didn't have
to be raised by you.
Why do you think I left
you with a goddamn robot?
Leave him out of it!
Warning. Do not molest me.
Dad, he's not your friend.
He's a slave who, apparently,
you can manipulate into
doing just about anything.
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute, wait a minute.
We should download
this thing's memory.
Yeah.
No, no.
Just hold on there, now.
You can't do that.
Frank, sit down.
Warning. Do not molest me.
You know what you're doing?
Yeah, I know what I'm doing.
Hello, there.
Self-destruct sequence
initialized.
Ten.
Nine.
You didn't.
Eight.
I'd run.
Seven.
Frank, stay there!
Don't move!
Six.
He's lying.
Five.
There's no bomb.
Four
Three.
Goddamn it!
Come on, come on.
Two.
One.
What a hunk of crap.
Son of a bitch.
Get in.
Frank!
Nice work.
Terrific.
You shouldn't
be driving, Frank.
Pull over and
reformat my memory.
It's the only way for you
to remain safe and healthy.
Can't you just
erase the bad parts?
My memory
is a holographic array.
If I lost half of it, I'd still have every
memory, just in half the resolution.
Okay, but you can't just
lobotomize yourself.
It's like I explained to you, Frank.
I'm not a real person.
We'll lay low till we get a
chance to go back for the stuff,
and then we're out of here.
Are we going to
lay low here, Frank?
I hope so.
Here. Do your stuff.
Hey, there.
Oh, my God, Frank. Hunter called me.
Are you okay?
Hunter called you?
How did you get in here?
You're not allowed back here.
I came to apologize.
You don't need to apologize.
You've just been very forgetful
these days, that's all.
No, I'm not forgetful.
I've just
been a little bit busy.
I'm fine, really.
Please, can I come in?
Okay. Come in.
Thank you.
I'm kind of
in a bit of trouble.
Of course you are.
No. Well, this is
worse than late fees.
I guess I'm sort of on the lam.
On the lam?
Yeah.
I've led a very colorful life.
I'm a cat burglar.
You took the Don Quixote.
Didn't you? Oh, Frank.
Well, I...
I just wanted you to have it.
Is that you?
Yes.
Is that me?
When I moved back,
you just didn't remember.
After our walk, we go
home, read for an hour.
Then we have lunch.
And...
Then we stake out
our next target.
Frank, wait.
You really don't know any other information?
You haven't seen any...
Oh... You gotta be kidding me.
Frank!
Frank. Frank!
Hold it right there!
Dad!
No. Dad, stop!
Would you just stop?
Frank, don't you lock this!
Don't you touch
that robot, Frank!
You are making this more
complicated than it has to be.
By the time they get up here, we
can scale down from the window.
Frank, stop.
Just wipe my memory.
No.
Frank, I know you don't like to
hear this, but I'm not a person.
I'm just an advanced simulation.
After you've wiped my memory,
things can go back to normal,
and you can continue
planning your next job.
What did you say?
Remember, Frank?
Your next job.
You deal in
diamonds and jewels,
the most value by the ounce.
- Remember?
- Dad!
It's not too late, Frank.
Just open up.
Don't give up.
Lifting that high-end
stuff, no one gets hurt.
Except those insurance
company crooks.
Show me what to do.
You have to open the round panel
in back and push the small button.
I've unlocked it for you.
I knew you had an off switch.
Dad.
Dad?
Hey, how are you doing?
It's Hunter.
Hunter.
You want to go
for a walk with me?
Yeah, that sounds good.
So...
How's Princeton?
Princeton.
Princeton's good.
Good?
Hey, it's Princeton.
Yes.
Well,
that's one thing that I
don't have to worry about.
My son did better
than his old man.
Bye, Daddy.
I'll come see you soon.
Bye, Dad.
What?
"Check the robot's
garden, under the tomatoes."
"Have fun, kids. Dad."