1
[students chatter]
Hey, Freddie, wait up.
They hate it when we do this.
Today, on this beautiful
ten-acre campus,
we find a dedicated staff of
teachers and administrators
devoted to providing
young Americans
with the finest modern
education possible.
So there you have our
magnificent new physical plant.
Why, these beautiful
buildings alone
should be grounds for full
reinstatement of our accreditation.
Our test scores have risen over 150
percent in the last two years.
This is due in no small part to
our new principal, Mr. McGree.
The UFO club meets Thursday night.
Oh, and bring your flashlight.
Are you ready to rock and roll?
So there you have it.
The all-new Reagan High.
Isn't it true that
the old school building
met with some sort
of horrible accident?
Accident, yes.
Horrible, no.
F minus ten and counting.
When the west wing was
slightly damaged by a fire,
The truth is, Cheese,
your so-called students
burnt most of the old
school to the ground.
Ten, nine, eight...
Now, if you expect
this committee
to end the school's probation...
Six, five, four...
You'll have to demonstrate...
Three, two...
That discipline has
been fully restored.
Go for it!
Flush 'em hard, boys!
[toilets flushing]
[water rushing]
[deep rumbling]
Oh my God.
They're at it again.
Whoa. What's
going on?
What the hell is going on?
Cow stampede again.
What the...
It's probably...
[inaudible dialogue]
[water rushing]
It's rock and roll
high school day, yeah!
[rock]
Rock 'n' roll high school
Forever and ever
Rock 'n' roll high school
Forever and ever
It's gonna be a memory
It's time to get tough
It's gonna shoot the thing
which is all over ya
Turn the thing right off
you don't need it today
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Get your head
off the dance
It's rock 'n' roll
high school day
If I have to go
to high school
Forever and ever
I'll go to rock 'n' roll
high school
Forever and ever
Brains and boneheads
geek and jocks
Don't matter who
the staff is
Today the whole
school rocks
Teachers can't stop me
you gotta kill the T
So come on everybody
There's strength in numbers
And we're in it together
for eternity
If I have to go
to high school
Forever and ever
I'll go to rock 'n' roll
high school
Forever and ever
If I have to go
to high school
Forever and ever
I'll go to rock 'n' roll
high school
Forever and ever
To those with the bad boys
you're bad but not evil
Falling down stairs
and jumping in the air
Like teenage
Evel Knievels
Shake what you
want to shake
Class is not dismissed.
If you wanna walk around with
your pants around your ankles
Ain't no one here
gonna care
If I have to go
to high school
Forever and ever
I'll go to rock 'n' roll
high school
Forever and ever
Forever and ever
Forever and ever
Forever and ever
Students, please return
to your classrooms.
Return to your classrooms or this will
be a black mark on your permanent record
that will follow you throughout
the rest of your life.
What day did you say it was?
Rock and roll high school day.
And what's that?
Well, you see, that's the day
when they burned down the school.
On this day, you can do
anything you wanna do.
Really?
Yeah.
Hey... hey!
Trust me!
Go to rock 'n' roll
high school
Forever and ever
Rock 'n' roll high school
forever and ever
Come back here!
Mrs. Grossman, I think this
kind of immature behavior
is just an insult to Reagan High
and to fine teachers like yourself
who care about standards.
Students, return to your
classrooms immediately or...
Oh!
You'll be severely punished.
Forever and ever
Forever and ever
Forever and ever
Forever and ever
I told you it wasn't a good day
to have the committee come.
I've told you a hundred times
you're too soft on
those delinquents.
You're just not cut
out for this job.
You made me take it.
Shut up! You may know
how to teach,
but you don't know
how to discipline.
And we're going to find
somebody who does.
[classical]
[rock]
Hey, man, what's up?
[woman screams]
Hey, boy.
'Sup? You see that?
Yeah, man.
I couldn't believe...
[screams]
Snackola! Whoo!
I got her! Yo!
And that's why we're here today
to ask ourselves what is
God's plan for your life?
Anyone? God wants
you to make money.
Amen, brother!
[speaking foreign language]
Hey, Namrok, I got the want ads.
Right on!
Whoa!
Ooh!
Good job, Ace.
I'm sorry.
You know, I could give you two
days of detention for that.
Wait, wait. You're not...
A teacher? Yes. I'm substituting
for Miss Poindexter.
She's sick.
You don't look like a teacher.
So what do I look
like, a gorilla?
No, you look very beautiful.
I mean nice. I mean
you look very nice.
[bell rings]
Oh, great.
Now I'm late.
Look, cut the acrobatics
before you kill someone...
Jessie. Jessie Davis.
Well, cool it, Jessie.
Bye.
Wow.
Class, class, class.
Everyone, there will be an important
announcement next period.
Everyone, everyone should
go to their homeroom.
Go to your homeroom
after next period
for an important announcement.
It sounds like they
found the tarantula.
What tarantula?
The big, hairy one
in the girls' shower.
Check this out.
Listen.
1965 Frigidaire refrigerator.
For sale by original owner.
Runs real good. Ask
for Edna Snotgrass.
Sounds like a little
appliance worship to me.
Yes it does, my brother. Hit me.
[rock]
Stand by for important
announcement.
Cue the announcement.
Cue the announcement.
My name is Dr. Vadar and I
am the new Vice Principal
in charge of discipline.
There are going to be some
changes here at Reagan High.
[groaning]
[doorbell]
Hello, madam.
How are you?
I have brought my
congregation with me
because we called about your
Frigidaire refrigerator.
Are you really a preacher?
I never heard of that church
you said you was with.
I am the hereditary mandible
of the First Lithuanian Church
of Large Appliance Worship.
You really gonna pay me money
just to look at my old fridge?
Madam, the mandible never lies.
Starting Monday, this
institution will operate
on a strict demerit system.
All demerits will be cumulative
throughout the semester.
All violations will be recorded
and there will be no appeal.
Smoking will be punished
by one demerit.
[buzzing]
Tardy, one demerit.
[inaudible chatter]
What's going on?
Two or more demerits
for each infraction
depending on how I feel.
Do not ask, my children, for
whom the refrigerator hums
because it hums for thee.
Hallelujah.
[electronic drums]
I-I-I-I-I-I like
you very much.
I-I-I-I-I-I...
What's that racket, Edna?
Quiet, Frank.
They're Lithuanians.
Well, don't stand there, Edna.
Get the camera.
You don't see stuff
like this every day.
You are too-too-too-
too-too divine
If you want to be in
someone's arms tonight
Just be sure the arms
you're in are mine
Oh I like your lips
and I like your eyes
Do you like my hips
to hypnotize you
We see-see-see-see-
see the moon above
Way, way, way, way,
way up in the blue
Si, Si, Si, senor, I think
I fall in love
When I fall I think
I fall for you
Ay-yi-yi
Si Si Si Si
Ay-yi-yi-yi
Dancing, singing, five
demerits each.
And there will be absolutely
no more rock and roll days
at Reagan High.
[shouting]
And another thing.
Don't piss me off.
Behold the inner crisper.
[squeaking]
Aaahh!
Yes, yes!
Let us shine the inner light
on our holy of holies.
Ha ha ha ha.
[screaming]
Jiminy. Wait'll "The
Inquisitor" sees this.
'Cuz I'm an adult now
I'm an adult now
Hey, that's Pursuit of Happiness
singing "I'm an Adult Now"
And here's Screaming Steve to
tell you how to win free tickets
to their concert
next Friday night.
Here on Rock-TV, we want to know
your favorite hometown bands
so call our 976 number
and cast your vote
in our local heroes contest.
We're happenin' now.
Winners will receive
free front-row tickets
to see the band of the '90s
in their sold-out concert
next Friday night.
So call now
and cast your vote for your
favorite hometown band.
[ringing]
Free tickets, here we come.
Rock-TV 976 call-in line. Who's
your favorite hometown band?
Yeah, I wanna vote for The
Eradicators from Reagan High.
Jones, you're a genius.
976 Rock-TV call-in line.
Who's your favorite band?
The Eradicators.
They're way cool.
[dialing]
976 call-in line. Who's
your favorite band?
All right!
Eradicators from Reagan
High, like, for sure.
That's it, baby.
Reach out and...
Touch somebody.
And touch somebody.
[both]
All right!
[percussion]
One two three
I'm walkin'
Yes indeed I'm talkin'
'bout you and me
I'm hopin' that you'll
come back to me
I'm lonely
as I can be
I'm waitin'
for your company
I'm hopin' that you'll
come back to me
What you gonna do when
the well run dry
You gonna run
away and hide
I'm gonna run
right by your side
For on you pretty
baby I do rely
I'm walkin' yes indeed
I'm talkin' 'bout you and me
I'm hopin' that you'll
come on back to me
I'm lonely as I can be
I'm waitin' for your company
I'm hopin' that you'll
come back to me
What you gonna do when
the well run dry
You gonna sit right
down and cry
What you gonna do when
I say bye-bye
All you gonna do
is dry your eyes
Walkin' yes indeed
I'm talkin' 'bout you and me
I'm hopin' that you'll
come back to me
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hit it now, Stella.
[electric guitar]
Oh
Wow. Great job as usual by your
refreshment committee, Whitney.
Thank you, Donovan.
This is the best Honor
Society Dance ever.
Cute dress, Margaret.
Thanks, Whitney!
That band is playing
the strangest music.
Who hired them?
You did, sweetums.
You gonna sit right
down and cry
What you gonna do when
I say bye-bye
All you gonna do
is dry your eye
I'd like to speak to you about
your announcement, Dr. Vadar.
Don't you think the new rules
are a bit unreasonable?
I mean, after all, kids are kids.
We can't expect them...
I've been hired to do a job.
That job is to
restore discipline.
Your job is administration
and academics.
You do your job
and I'll do mine.
[clanking]
Oh, dear.
I'm hopin' that you'll
come back to me
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
I'm walkin' yes indeed
I'm talkin' 'bout
you and me
I'm hopin' that you'll
come back to me
Stop playing this stupid song.
It's not on the list.
Wait. Wait.
Hold it.
Hold it. Hold it.
Stop the music.
Whitney, what is your problem?
Look, just stick to my
playlist, all right?
Nobody wants to hear some
dumb Eradicators song.
In case you're interested, my dear,
that song happens to be a classic.
Fats Domino wrote it and Bill Haley
and the Comets used to do it.
So who's that? Some dumb
friend of yours?
He's not dumb.
He's dead.
Look, I really don't care
how smart he is, all right?
Just stick to the playlist
or you won't get paid.
Great. Thank you.
Ladies, gentlemen, what
is this list shit?
Well, she sorta gave me something
when we made the deal.
Great. Thank you.
Sure.
Looks to me like it's time for
the mean green slimin' machine.
Right on!
Yeah, slime 'em.
Jessie, man, this
is a new shirt.
Jones, what's more
important, your new shirt
or the preservation
of our mental health?
Shit.
A womp bop a loo Ba
a womp bam boo
Tutti frutti oh rutti
Tutti frutti oh rutti
Tutti frutti oh rutti
Tutti frutti oh rutti
Tutti frutti oh rutti A womp
bop a loo Ba a lomp bam boo
I got a girl named Sue
She knows just what to do
I got a girl named Sue
She knows just what to do
My parents are out of town
and I've got some great
blush in the Sub-Zero.
What is this band playing?
Tutti frutti oh rutti
Tutti frutti oh rutti
Tutti frutti oh rutti
Tutti frutti oh rutti
This is not on the list.
[squeals]
[screams]
Come on.
Whoa.
Oh my God.
[screaming]
Hey!
Somebody help me!
Stop that!
Oh! Oh!
Hey, cut that out.
Stop that.
Don't wait up, honey.
Now you stop that!
And you! You
stop tha...
You know, man, once
these guys cut loose
these geeks know how to party.
Yeah, but it's time to get out of here.
Let's go.
Stage left.
Stage right.
That was so funny.
Goin' somewhere, boys?
What's it to you, Jello brain?
Dr. Vadar wants
to see you.
Dr. Who?
Wow.
[whispers]
That's really good.
From now on you will not play
your disgusting rock and
roll on school grounds ever.
We've always played our rock
and roll on school grounds.
[scratching]
Your band has been
eradicated from Reagan High.
Oh, no, no. She put me in
fourth period Biology?
So?
So...
Whitney and that little bed wetter
Margaret are in that class.
Oh, how lucky can you get?
Let me see it.
Hey, guys. What's
happening?
We can't practice music
at lunchtime anymore.
What? Vadar changed
all our schedules.
Yeah. She put you and Mag
in third period lunch.
[bird cooing]
[wings flapping]
This would never happen
in our old lunch period.
What are you looking
at, slime dogs?
I was just noticing your unusual
assortment of food there.
Mind your own damn business.
No problem.
May I help you?
I want that big piece
of fat right there.
This?
Right here, this.
All of it.
No fat for me, please.
I'm tryin' to cut back.
Shh. She'll
hear you.
What's her trip?
She's the witch's daughter.
Her mother's a witch.
They even live in
the sign of the devil,
666 Dante Circle.
Cool.
Can I have some peas
and corn, please?
[rap]
Have a seat behind Margaret
and Whitney, Stella.
Behind Margaret and Whitney.
Gee, Stella, with those clothes
you must be very secure.
Unlike others, I enjoy
good mental health.
Stella, you're really weird and you're
going to be weird all your life.
I'd rather be weird
than Whitney.
[burping]
Breath control A+,
pitch B-.
Oh, come on. The pitch
was ah, oui, superb.
Catch you later, man.
Wait a minute. You're
not in that class.
I just transferred.
[burp]
Hi. How's my favorite
substitute doing?
The teacher's doing
just fine, thank you.
Good, good. Listen, I just
wanted to give you
a little bit of fair warning.
These guys are a bunch
of animals and they sent
old Miss Poindexter back
up to the nuthouse.
Just wanna let you know that.
I can handle 'em.
Okay.
Good luck.
[hooting]
[All]
Oooh.
Hey, you got a problem?
Yeah, you.
Hey. Chill out.
I hope you'll be able to give
your book report today, Magnuson.
Otherwise, I won't be able to
pass you in Senior English.
It's in the bag,
Mrs. Grossman.
Unless you're doing
a report on a cookbook,
you're still in trouble, bro.
Not with this.
[beeping]
What's that?
It's my pacemaker.
That's not a pacemaker.
It is today.
I know that most of you
find classical music boring
and that you probably took this
class just to get an easy A,
I know that, but I hope
to convince you
in the few weeks that we have
left that beautiful music,
and it is beautiful,
can be as exciting
as a football game.
Now listen.
[classical]
Hut-one, hut-two,
hut-three.
The melody is snapped
to the first violins.
You could tell this is a really
cool book, Mrs. Grossman,
because Francis Ford Coppola made
his movie Apocalypse Now about it.
The first cello fakes left.
He cuts right. He's wide
open, pass complete.
The strings are first
and ten now on the 40.
It's about these dudes on a boat
going up this really
grody jungle river,
which is basically a bummer,
'cause it's bunches of mosquitoes
and they don't have any Raid.
To the flute who steps
back to pass.
He's in the pocket, great
protection from the drum.
The hero dudes get
to this weird place
where there's this big
concert thing happening
with Playboy bunnies coming
off the helicopters on ropes.
Ending quarter. The score
is tied 10 all.
The cello takes the melody
on the 20.
He's hit by the flute but
breaks the tackle.
He gets a beautiful block
from the trombones.
They're shooting arrows
and being super uncool.
Mag...
And then...
Wait a minute, they meet one of the coolest
actors there ever was, Dennis Hopper.
Mag...
Wait wait wait.
35, he's at the 40, he crosses
midfield, the cymbals dive.
And he's living with a fat, naked man
and a bunch of stoned-out natives.
This is not the book
that I assigned.
Oh. Oh!
[beeping]
[gasping]
Magnuson!
He's hit by the drums
but breaks the tackle.
He gets a beautiful block
from the trumpets. All right!
Are you all right?
[beeping]
What's that noise?
It's just my pacemaker.
I told him to get new batteries.
[sustained beep]
[screaming]
The pass is in the air and
the cello leaps for it.
Oh my God, oh my God.
Call 911.
What?
Call 911.
Call 911 now!
Call 911 now!
Great protection from the drum.
First down.
Interception.
The 40. He crosses mid...
Is he...
At the ten...
Touchdown!
All right! Nail
that extra point.
See you tomorrow.
Class dismissed.
Hey, you were really great.
I mean, the way you handled
those guys was like magic.
Well, they're not so bad, but I
did notice something unusual.
You don't appear to be
on the class roll.
Your name is Jessie
Davis, isn't it?
Yeah, well, those computers
mess up all the time.
Are you really in
this class, Jessie?
Not really, but I just
kinda wanted to...
To check me out.
Yeah, I wanted to check you out.
Bye.
Yeah, I have to get goin'.
See ya.
I want to vote for
the Eradicators.
Yes, that's the Eradicators,
the band from Reagan High.
[wailing]
We have to teach those
little degenerates a lesson.
We can't put the entire student
body in detention hall, Dr. Vadar.
Why not? I can turn this whole
school into a detention hall.
Tonight we institute RHSSS.
The RH what?
Reagan High Super Secret
Security program.
My baby.
Just a few more hours
to cast your vote
in Rock-TV's local
hero contest.
So what are we doin' tonight?
Let's scope out the witch's house.
What witch?
Oh, you mean the one from
third period lunch, right?
[organ]
Completely out there.
Who did you say lives here?
Get out of here!
Get away from our house!
Scum bucket starey-ass.
Every night!
Yo, lady, calm down. We never
even been here before.
Take a pill or something.
Slime bag.
See ya!
Oh. Oh.
All right.
Oh, Margaret.
Margaret.
No. Margaret, no.
Why not?
Margaret, look, it's too
bright. We better go.
Go? We have been going
together for six months
and we haven't gone
anywhere yet, Donovan.
I'm sorry, but we
could get AIDS.
AIDS? We're both
virgins, you idiot.
You got me out of bed for...
What the hell is this?
We could be buying
books for the library.
Books? Who
needs books?
We have 10,000 volts of current.
Power up.
Power up.
Power up.
Power up.
Power up.
Oh my God. Aah!
You ever think of getting into
another line of work, Roy?
Yeah.
Oh, I just love that Eradicator band.
They're so cute.
[organ]
Hey, hey, what do you
think you're doing?
[moaning]
Hi.
Hi.
I like it.
What?
The yard. Everything.
You makin' fun?
No.
I really think it's cool.
What are you doing here?
You forgot your broom.
You wanna see the back yard?
It's even cooler than
the front yard.
Come on.
Come on.
Wow.
[imitates gunfire]
[beeping]
[imitates explosion]
[rock]
Welcome to Penitentiary High.
Dr. Vadar's crazy.
Stand by to open the gate.
Stand by to open the gate.
You guys the Eradicators?
Yeah, who are you?
This is Screaming Steve,
live with the winners
of Rock-TV's local
heroes contest,
the Eradicators from
Ronald Reagan High.
Here, reach out and touch this.
So you guys are
gonna be partying
with rock superstars at their
sold-out concert tonight!
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, that's right,
that's great.
The Eradicators received
the largest number
of call-in votes in
the history of Rock-TV.
You guys are really local heroes.
Well, you know, I...
Yeah, let's give them
their big prize,
front-row seats to the
concert of the decade.
How 'bout that?
Yeah, that's great.
Hey! What do you
think you're doing?
Ten seconds.
Ten seconds what?
Get your hands off
me. I'm a star!
Detention hall.
All of you.
Four days.
Slinky head.
You guys are creating some
really bad karma here.
I don't believe this.
This is totally uncool!
The Vice Principal of discipline
has decreed that you shall serve
not less than four days in
maximum security detention.
So sit down and shut up.
Gotta consider the cumulative
earning power of each profession.
It's a big decision.
I mean, if I go to med school
there's ten years
before I'll start making
any real money.
Law school's only three years, but
then you have to make partner.
MBA? MBA.
That's only two years and
then straight to CEO.
Two hundred thou a year!
Oh my God.
God! This is a major life
decision for me
and all you care about is sex.
I'm sorry.
[trumpet]
Vadar, this is war.
The prom? Jessie, man,
are you crazy?
Yeah, man. That prom
is yuppie central.
They'll never let us play.
We gotta do it.
Okay? That's it.
Trust me.
And how are we supposed
to get past Vadar?
Eaglebauer.
Hi. We need to see Eaglebauer
as soon as possible.
Animal, vegetable or...
Musical.
Musical.
Yeah, it's an emergency.
Mr. Eaglebauer? There are
some people here to see you.
Later, honey. Not
now, all right?
Okay. You can go in and
see him immediately.
No, no, no. I'm talking
2,000, not 200.
For 2,000 you can
cut that in half.
Rabbits?
[static]
Hello. What planet are
you orbiting, Juan?
I'm talking 2,000 flash-frozen
frogs for Biology class.
Yes, frogs. Send them
to the warehouse.
Tell them Eaglebauer sent you.
All right.
The Eradicators.
My very favorite
rock and roll band.
How's it going?
Very good.
Except we got a little
problem. Vadar.
Vadar, that square
head from hell?
Ugh! Here, check
this out.
Fake doctors' excuses
down 70 percent.
Fake hall passes
down 80 percent.
Test answers are
totally unavailable.
That numbnuts is
gonna bankrupt me.
[grunting]
Yeah, wow, I see that...
Forget it.
Forget her. It's too
depressing to even discuss.
So what can I do for
the Eradicators?
We want to play the prom.
Great concept, but I thought you had been
eradicated from all school activities.
Well, that's the problem.
We have to stop Dr. Vadar from
destroying Rock and Roll High School.
I see.
I do know something
of your work.
You're talented.
You're very talented.
But good talent needs
good management.
I'll give you ten percent,
off the top, if you get the gig.
Twenty-five.
Fifteen.
I keep the video rights.
Deal.
Yeah.
Miss Box, draw up a contract
for the Eradicators
to play the prom.
At ease.
I want you to meet Qaddafi.
[barking]
Nice doggie.
You wanna go for a walkie poo?
[barking]
Good dog.
Shut up!
Yes, baby.
Nice baby.
Come on, come on.
[barking]
Which one of you gentlemen wants to
be in charge of this fine animal?
[growling]
You take him.
I'm allergic.
All right. There's six judges
for the prom audition.
Get rid of Vadar,
that leaves five.
Three of them will vote for you.
So with my incredible planning,
Vadar will be out of there by 3:00,
which is when you guys are
scheduled to audition.
So who did you put us down
as on the audition list?
Wombat Vengeance.
Thought of that name myself.
That is the worst name I have
ever heard of in my life.
Only a temporary necessity.
Now, I'm sure you guys
are really hungry.
[Both]
No, I'm okay.
Yeah, I could eat a ho...
Why don't you try this?
It's great.
Mangia, paisan.
Whoa.
You don't like it?
It tastes like barf.
Crap.
I got a thousand pounds of this
stuff in the food service freezers.
Wait. What is it,
Eaglebauer?
It's cheval. It's for
summer school lunches.
It's French. It's very classy.
Beaucoup de classe.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
Now, wait a minute.
What is that?
Come on, tell me.
It's ho...
It's a hose?
What are you saying?
It's horse, all right?
But it's perfectly legal.
You cannot feed summer
school kids horse meat.
The French love it.
That's fine.
The French love it.
American kids
do not eat Mr. Ed.
[gagging]
Love at the laundromat
I was starin' at the dryer
when a goddess walked in
My washer changed cycles
and my head switched to spin
She threw down a basket
and decide what to take
As she pulled her
sheets and towels...
[percussion]
['60s pop]
[yelling]
[crashing]
[explosion]
[barking]
Whoa.
Qaddafi, no.
No! Qaddafi!
Whoa, boy.
Oh, no.
[growling]
[dog whimpering]
Red Rover to base.
Red Rover to base.
We got a major problem
in hallway Charlie.
Get Vadar now.
Love at the laundromat
[electric keyboard]
Still there.
Where the hell is Mag at?
That was the Zillion Kisses band and the
next band will be Wombat Vengeance.
Dr. Vadar?
[whispers] Dr. Vadar, there's
something going on...
Where's Mag?
Take these!
Hey!
One, two, three, four.
[rock]
Dare dreamer dreams danger is
he and that was where he lived
He's a man with a fever
a serious schemer
And he takes but
never gives
He's a dare dreamer
a man with a fever
And he walks on
the razor's edge
He's a dare dreamer
a serious schemer
And he's got to get
his butt on the bed
Ten thousand volts.
Big deal.
This'll teach you to mess
with Eaglebauer Industries.
[alarm ringing]
My security perimeter.
[hissing]
Dare dreamer walks on
the path of destruction
Eaten being cut
up and mean
It's not what it seemed
he's been on his knees
Now I'll tell you
dare dreamer is me
They've killed my baby!
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
He's a dare dreamer
a man with a fever
And he walks on
the razor's edge
Dare dreamer man
with a fever
Looky here, Dr. Vadar.
It's a trap.
Someone strung fishing
line across... Roy?
Yes, ma'am?
Shut up.
[Both]
Yes, ma'am.
Yeah yeah yeah
Dare dreamer a man
with a fever
And he won't come
pay the rent
He's a dare dreamer
serious schemer
And he's got to get
his butt on the...
Got to get his butt on the...
Got to get his butt on the bed
Dare dreamer
[percussion]
[rock]
Hi. Listen, I wanted
to thank you
for voting for us
at the audition.
Oh, who says I voted for you?
Well, you had to vote for us.
Otherwise we wouldn't have won.
Well, you were the best.
Really?
Really.
Well then, since you think that
I'm so wonderful and everything,
I was kind of wondering if
there's any chance in the world
that maybe you'd consider
going out to the movies
or maybe to a concert
or, you know...
Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.
You're asking me out on a date?
Kind of, yeah. Well, see, I
think that you're everything
that I've ever really
wanted in a woman.
Well, that's a good thing when
you're a kid, to go out with...
Jessie, I'm a teacher. Teachers
can't go out with students.
No, no, no, but I'm
not a student.
What? Well, you see, you have
to study to be a student.
I never study.
Wait. Hold on
a second.
If you were 28 and I was 24
that wouldn't matter at all.
You don't give up, do you?
No. Never.
You want to cut
me to pieces
You want to cut me
out of your life
You want to cut
me to pieces
[tires squeal]
Drugs!
That's what it is.
They're all on drugs.
[toilet flushing]
Jones, Reginald.
Jones, Reginald!
That's me.
You gotta be here when
they call your name.
Sludge, Magnooson
Sludge, Magnooson!
That's Magnuson.
Magnuson, yeah.
Namrok, uh...
Namrok, uh...
[karate shout]
You got a first name, Namrok?
Namrok!
Namrok Namrok.
Namrok Namrok!
Namrok Namrok.
Mitchell, Waldo.
Mitchell, Waldo!
Hook it up close, boys.
Hook it up close.
- Dale, wrasslin's on.
- Oh, yeah?
Look at that.
And today we're presenting
the grudge of the year,
Wicked Wanda and
Apple Brown Betty.
[zipping]
Hey! This
no my pee!
You're right. This is not my pee.
Wait a minute.
I think you got my pee.
No, no.
This ain't my ammonia.
Oh, this
is... Wait.
[gargling]
Yeah, that's mine.
Yeah, that's my pee.
Ew.
Mag!
Wha...
Sorry.
I thought your locker was
in the main building.
Well, that one got filled up.
This is my other locker.
Oh. Well, you got
a lot of neat stuff.
Do you want to go out?
To get something to eat?
With you?
We could just hang out.
Dr. Vadar?
We hate to disturb you,
but we're really worried
about having the
Eradicators play the prom.
The Eradicators playing the prom?
That's impossible.
They changed their name to Wombat
Venus, but it's still them.
I'm sure you wouldn't have voted for
them if you'd been at the audition.
If the Eradicators play the prom, it
won't be an upscale social occasion.
And photo opportunity.
It'll be a total disaster.
Those rock and roll
delinquents, they're dead meat.
You are so right,
Dr. Vadar.
We need to improve standards
here at Reagan High
and I can tell that you
care a lot about standards.
Meet me in the parking
lot at midnight.
And bring people who can
keep their mouths shut.
Right, Dr. Vadar.
Shut! Sh... No, no, no!
Stop it, damn you!
So what food groups
are onion rings?
Fat.
Definitely fat.
Tabatha, I think you're very cool,
but I gotta tell you something.
The four basic food groups are
not sugar, salt, fat and booze.
They're not?
No, they're not.
Wow. Looks like
Freddy's been here.
Yeah.
Hey, Jessie, you wouldn't happen to
know anything about that yuck outside?
It's not our style, Marge.
It's not our style.
[imitating Margaret]
Good morning,
Mr. McGree.
I've been hoping so much
you kids could behave
and we could finish out
the year as friends.
Guess you fellas forgot to
clean up after yourselves.
This is a frame-up,
Vadar, and you know it.
I could keep you rock and
roll scum here another year
but the sight of you
turns my stomach.
Instead, you will spend
the rest of the semester
in detention hall
and today cleaning up
that mess outside.
Oh, and another thing.
You will not participate
in the prom.
Goin' to the bathroom, boss.
What?
[laughing]
Hey, guys, check this out.
Look at the dumb jerk
Mag out there sleeping.
Dr. Vadar is so mean.
I love it.
Hell, Bob and I were the ones
that got her to do something.
So, Whitney? Donovan
and I helped too.
They'll never get
that stuff off.
They're gonna be out there...
For the rest of their lives.
[laughing]
They beat us at our own game.
Shit-o.
You know, who cares about
this dumb prom anyway?
We've only got a couple
more weeks of school left.
Maybe we should just forget
the whole thing and graduate.
And let Vadar win?
Is this how you feel
about it, Stella?
I don't know.
Right now all I want to do is go
home and take a bath, all right?
Great. Great.
Jessie Davis, you're a
pervert and a delinquent.
Detention hall, all of you.
Goin' somewhere, boys?
Jessie Davis, you're a pervert.
Dr. Vadar wants to see you.
Your band has been
eradicated from Reagan High.
And another thing. You will
not participate in the prom.
[rock]
Wake up! Jessie,
you're alive.
Come on, stud.
Well the Vice Principal's
always in your face
Telling you what to do
That brainless wimp
can't even kiss my ass
Yabba dabba doo
Liberate a six-pack
get ready to attack
Well you fool go crazy
and ready to ride
It's your life
you decide
Are you gonna explode and
make a cheerleader drool
Or stay at home
and be a fool
Put your amp up to 11
Blast them all
straight to heaven
High school is a prison
and you... you gotta get free
A-bomb at the school's prom
makes stuff history
I got a little history
lesson for you here, son
Put some Ex-Lax in your
English teacher's food
Wanna see you runnin' through
the halls stark raving nude
High school is a prison
And you you
gotta get free
A-bomb at the school prom
makes stuff hit the reverb
Howdy, son.
I'm the yuppie-hatin',
lower body-gyratin',
beanie weenie-eatin'
Spirit of Rock and Roll!
And you Eradicators, you
gotta play the prom.
That's impossible.
There is no way.
Malarkey. You gotta save the
school from the uncool.
Otherwise it's gonna be a black
mark on your permanent record.
And it's gonna follow me
throughout the rest of my life.
But how?
Get bodacious.
Wow.
Very intense.
The question at stake
here is is this
or is this not Rock
and Roll High School?
Now, let's take a minute
and let's think
about all the important work we've
done over the last four years.
The naked cheerleader photos.
The alligator in
the swimming pool.
Spagnum's Volvo
on top of the roof.
Now, this is work that any rock and
roll high school would be proud of.
So my question to you is
are we going to let
this important, creative
work go down the drain?
Are we gonna let Vadar and
the yuppettes take over now?
No way, man.
No way, man.
Cut the dramatics, Davis,
and tell us the scam.
The scam is...
we are going to steal the prom.
[karate shout]
Oh! I never knew it
could be so wonderful!
Donovan is such a
worry-wart all the time.
Whitney would rather make
money than make out.
Oh!
Are we still on for
Friday night, sweetums?
Pick me up at 7.
Believe me, this prom is gonna
be a primo nookie opportunity.
Yeah, right.
[moaning]
Shh.
Class, class, class.
Four weeks ago, class, we
investigated the mysteries
of our bisexual buddy
the earthworm.
Today we enter
dissection big time
with our more complex
yet single-sexed...
Single-sexed friend
the frog.
Now carefully raise your
knife and slice down...
He is so gross.
Oh, I don't believe
I'm doing this.
Whitney, stop!
Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick.
Hey, Whitney...
Oh!
I just love frog.
Want some?
[screaming]
What is going on?
Aaahh!
[vomiting]
Yeah! Whoo!
Well, hello,
ladies. Brad.
Come on!
Geez.
Cute undies, Donovan.
Yeah.
[laughing]
[moaning]
Oh, babe.
Oh, sweetums.
Ooh, honey bunch.
[moaning]
Oh, yes, yes, oh, like that!
[dialing]
Is this the police department?
[tires squealing]
[laughing]
[siren wailing]
Oh, no.
My clothes.
I like it.
Very nice.
They were right here.
My tie and...
What did you do with them?
My cellular
phone! Oh!
Get out of the car
with your hands up!
I told you not to come out here.
Everyone knows about this place.
My phone. I can't believe
I lost my cellular phone.
Phone? Phone! Nobody cares
about your stupid...
[laughing]
Oh my God, what?
What?
Gorgeous slave boy
looking for discipline.
I've been very naughty. Will
you teach me to behave?
[laughing]
That'll work.
That'll definitely work.
Number, please.
Open the pod bay doors.
Fire retros.
[knocking]
Your turn.
You are mine
I'm taking you away
You are mine
On a magic ride
You are mine mine
mine all mine
Hey, Roy, looky here.
Well, what do you know.
Zillion Kisses, right?
I have to tell you, your music
has always meant so much to me.
You are very, very talented,
really, very talented,
and good talent needs
good management.
I was thinking maybe
25 percent off the top.
Look, man, we gotta get
set up for the prom.
Prom? Prom.
Prom.
It's right through there. You
can set right up on the stage.
It's kinda dark
in there, isn't it?
Vadar. Slashed
the budget.
New concept: Twilight
Zone prom.
Cool.
Watch your step.
All the way to the back.
Dale, I am your father.
Oh, yeah?
Ba Ba Ba dum rah
Dun da da dah
AAAH!
You know where I could
find a phone?
I'm such a naughty boy.
I locked my keys in my car.
And I really should be punished.
There's a phone in my office.
What time is it? I thought
the prom started at 8.
Is it 8 yet?
Have a wonderful time.
Oh, Rita Mae, isn't
it marvelous?
Yes, very nice,
Mrs. Grossman.
Have a good time.
Jessie. Jessie, what
are you doing?
Vadar'll go crazy
when she sees you.
Don't worry about that.
Dr. Vadar will be making a very
limited appearance here this evening.
I knew you were trouble
the first time I met you.
Thank you. Thank
you very much.
Now...
You've been very, very
bad, haven't you?
Oui, madame.
I want you to tell
me just how bad
in detail.
Oui, beaucoup, madame.
Today's Friday, right? Yesterday's
Thursday, today's Friday.
Yeah.
[rock]
Daniel John was a kid
at a school
When he got on the floor
he was a dancin' fool
Don't give Danny a story '
cuz Danny don't lie
So rock your soul
Rock our soul
Like another guy
Hi, Mr. McGree.
Rita Mae.
You know, that band
sounds very familiar.
Yeah, they got a great sense of rhythm.
Let's dance.
Hi.
Hi.
Wonderful time.
That doesn't sound like
A Zillion Kisses.
Yeah, well, it doesn't
look like them either.
That better not be
who I think it is.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
Ronald Reagan High School senior prom.
For some of us it's been
a long time coming.
Where is Dr. Vadar?
[both] She's lickin' his bosom.
So if you will direct your attention
to the right side of the stage
and let the show begin.
[laughing]
[screams]
[laughing]
[cheering]
[screaming]
Stop it! It's not really great!
Turn it off! Turn it off!
AAAH!
I didn't mean to!
You slag, you slime, you slut!
I try to like all my students, but
some are more fun than others,
if you know what I mean.
Come on, Bob, you wimp.
You're dead, man.
You messed up.
Come on!
Hey, watch it!
[crashing]
Uh, what's up, Doc?
Get him!
Stop him. Stop
him, you morons!
My God. She's gone
totally insane.
Now she thinks she's
Indiana Jones.
Jessie!
I'm calling the police.
Tabatha!
Get it.
Got it.
Good!
Whoo! Yes.
No laughing.
No laughing!
That's disgusting!
Dr. Vadar's a woman?
No laughing!
Stop laughing!
Bye!
That woman has no
place in education.
Hey.
Hey!
You were on it, man.
Isn't the prom in June?
Or is it May?
Fish, dude.
[engine starting]
Whoa!
Teen scum.
Hey, look out!
Oh my God.
Drug scum.
No!
[karate shout]
Yeah!
Bathtub scum.
Where's Tabatha?
Hi.
My God. She's going
after Rita.
I've got an idea.
Me? No, you
get the...
The other one!
Get the other one!
Come on.
Kill. Kill. Kill!
Pick on somebody your own size,
Principal Scum.
[screaming]
Oh my God.
Oh my God!
Let's get out of here.
[siren wailing]
[rumbling]
Merde.
Have you seen Jessie?
Have you seen Jessie
and Mag and everyone?
My God. She's nuked
the school.
Tabatha!
You're okay.
Dale, the school
blowed up real good.
Yep, and Dr. Vadar
blowed up too.
It's amazing what a guy's gotta go
through these days to get a date.
I hate you.
Sorry about the school,
Mr. McGree,
but it really was
Dr. Vadar's fault.
We probably needed
a new one anyway.
Yeah, and the plumbing
was all screwed up.
Rock 'n' roll high school
Forever and ever
If I have to go to high
school forever and ever
I'll go to rock 'n' roll
high school forever and ever
It's time to make memories
it's time to get dumped
It's time to shoot the thing
which is all over ya
Turn the thing right off
You don't need it today
What you gotta do is get
your head on the dance floor
For rock 'n' roll
high school day
If I have to go to high
school forever and ever
I'll go to rock 'n' roll
high school forever and ever
Brains and boneheads,
geeks and jocks
Doesn't matter what your stance
is today the whole school rocks
Teachers can't stop it
you gotta feel the T
So come on, everybody,
let's scream the numbers
We're in it together
for eternity
If I have to go to high
school forever and ever
I'll go to rock 'n' roll
high school forever and ever
If I have to go to high
school forever and ever
I'll go to rock 'n' roll
high school forever and ever
To those with the bad boys
you're bad but not evil
Flyin' down stairs
and jumpin' in the air
Like teenage Evel Knievel
Shake what you wanna shake
wear what you wanna wear
If you wanna walk around with
your pants around your ankles
Ain't no one here
gonna care
Forever and ever
Forever and ever
Forever and ever
Forever and ever