|
Rock Star (2001)
Those days were amazing.
Being a kid, you know, what else was I|to do but to live the Dragon? I'd study the music note for note.|I read every interview. Copied every outfit, every move,|you know, every look. My pursuit ofperfection|was relentless, The music deserved that, All right, ladies, Spread them, Rob, you're not nailing the squeal. I have no idea|what you're talking about. Check it out. Play it like that. That's it.|That's a ping, not a squeal. -Sounds just like the tape, man.|-No. Raunchier. Again, please. That was great. Thank you. From the top. Hold on! Hey, Jeremy, no. What are you doing?|You know what this is? LuDricator, signed by all five|band members with the original cover. Look. Jorgen's name is misspelled.|It should be an "E." You know how much I can get for it? Peace to you too, dude.|Try it like this. Mom?|Mom, isn't my room off-limits? I'm sorry, Chris.|Oh, what were you doing? -How are you?|-Good. How's Willard? -He's fine. You look nice.|-Thank you. Here, hold on.|You got a smudge. -Bye. Gotta run.|-Bye. Love you. Love you too. Bye. I need more power! I want more! Come on, come on. Nina and Samantha! Hey, Chris. -Coming to my show in a week?|-Of course. -Want to hand out fliers?|-Absolutely. -You guys look awesome.|-Bye. We're a band called Blood Pollution... ...a Steel Dragon tribute band,|the best in Pittsburgh. Thank you. I wrote this one for someone|who ripped out my heart. And put it through a bloody blender! That's right. This one's for IKim, who makes me|want to stand up and shout. Em, I'll be right back, okay? Excuse me. You think I could have one? Not without a blowjob and a sex|change, pal. But have a nice day. -Come on, girls. This way.|-See you, Chris. Oh, that was awesome! That was the heaviest|since Columbus in '77. Heavier than the Demented tour. -I ask you, did they not rock?|-They totally rocked. Guys. What the...? Come on. Oh, I thought I smelled pussy. Look who's here. -If it isn't Yoko Ono and the Fag Five.|-What are you doing? Making sure nobody sees|some cut-rate copy band. Cut-rate? This dude can't|even tune his own guitar. -You could work on your lip-synch.|-I don't lip-synch. Be doing everyone a favor if you did. You could get the outfit right. Boots from the Wasted tour|and a cheap Twistedjacket. You are so fully wrong, cocksmoker.|This is official issue. The actual vest Bobby wore|on the Twisted tour. My dad bought it from someone|who knows them. Sorry, but your dad got ripped. The lapels should be blue,|there's no green in the embroidery. As a matter of fact,|can anybody here honestly say... ...they've ever seen Bobby Beers|with a jacket with red lapels? -No, I can't.|-I don't think so. You can make me his pants. Or did she already rip out|the Dodge seats? No. First tell me what you put there|to make people think you're a guy. -This is all me, baby.|-You and a few ballet slippers. -You want a piece of me?|-No, I'm good. -Want to see how a real man--|-Don't touch her. -Let go of my cape.|-Let go of my cape! Get your ass out of bed. Get out of here. -Let's go. Get up.|-Get out of here. Move it. Where you hiding|your stash these days? Get out! I didn't do anything. That's the problem.|You never do anything. -Get out of here, pig!|-God-- Fucking-- Come on! Mom! Mom! Jeez, boys. Quit. Break it up.|Chris, give him a break. Come on. -Stop it!|-Tell him to get out! -Used to be my room.|-Not anymore! Because I moved out when I was 18. -We're having breakfast.|-IKeep him out! Get ready for work.|Will you go downstairs? -IKeep him out!|-All right, he's gone. So you arrested Mervin|for drunk driving? He was parked on|the Brennemans' lawn. Claims he was going out for ice cream.|Same story. -Chris, so how was the show?|-It was fine. -The freaks were out in force.|-Why weren't you busting heads? -Female officers handle that crowd.|-You want to go? -Come on.|-Saved again. Should take her to work. -Good one.|-Did they do "Black Babylon"? They haven't played that|since Osaka in '75. -That is pathetic that you know.|-I love that song. Okay, genius,|who's buried in Grant's tomb? It's twisted that you're still living|at home, stealing Ma's makeup. Who's buried in Grant's tomb? How much longer will you|put up with this? The rock star fantasy thing is|something you grow out of at 14. If I get lucky, I'll get to grow up|and listen to Air Supply like you. What's wrong with Air Supply? Nothing, if you're|from the Village People. You know what the sickest thing|is about you? It's that you don't have|any fantasies of your own. You fantasize about|being somebody else. Wearing somebody else's clothes.|Singing somebody else's songs. It's pathetic. -Get a haircut.|-Okay, Satan's allegiant. Have a good one, son. -You didn't eat.|-Later. I love you guys. Love you too. -I love you.|-You do this every time. I question his sexuality, Ma. I do. Here's the procedure, so it won't|happen again. Don't stick a pen in. I'll give you a simple|one-two-three procedure. It's 1 -2-3.|Pop that down, push this. Pull back on this lever, free up|the jam and you can access-- Is there something wrong? Is that mascara? -I'm in a band. Okay?|-Oh, okay. Can you follow the 1 -2-3|without sticking a pen in there? Thank you. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Sorry about that. When's Marci getting back? She and Rob went to see Wham!|Won't be back for a while. Wham!? Oh, God. George Michael's a wuss.|I'm gonna give Rob shit for it. He'll want to cover that. All right, you. Okay, now just relax. -Is it numb?|-I think so. Feel that? -Sure you want to do this?|-Yeah, Bobby did it last week. -I love you, babe.|-I love you. Okay, don't look. Don't look. -God, that had to hurt.|-Yes, it does. Oh, God. You want to do the other one? No. You want to do yours? -Maybe.|-Come on. Let's do yours. Testing, testing. One, two. -No way!|-That's right. That's my boy. All right, ladies,|who had the weenies? Do I have too much foundation on? I keep putting this shit on|till I want to fuck myself. -Hey, Rob, you wearing underwear?|-No. Rob. You know the drill. No panties. -Get up.|-I am not freezing my balls-- Just stand up and drop it. -I'm not taking it off.|-Come on. If you want, take them off.|I am not taking off-- Your woman's an animal! All right! Before we get too into this party. -I love you!|-Love you too. Before we get too deep into this party,|I want to thank IKey Steel... ...for letting us use their place|of business to pay tribute... ...to the metal created by|none other than Steel Dragon! And a special thanks|to my brother, Joe... ...who gave me my first Dragon|record because he hated it. And to my parents, because they|let me play it as loud as I wanted! -That's my boy!|-That's my baby! Because they rock! Now, this next tune... ...l'd like to dedicate to someone|who, when I first met... ...ripped my heart out|and put it through a bloody blender. That's right! This one's for Emily! She turns me up and shakes me|down and makes me want to what? Stand up and shout! What was that? What was what? There's no solo break|after the chorus. They don't care. That's not how the song goes. I know how the song goes. If you know how it goes,|then play it right. Chris, you are taking this shit|too seriously. That's right, because the music|deserves to be taken seriously. If you don't,|you don't deserve to play it. All right, you need to get a grip. You've ruined your performance.|Do not ruin mine! Hey! Plug that fucker back in. Quit it! -That's my amp!|-Do not ruin this concert! Do not! Hey, fuck this concert! Here we go again. -Hit him in the bollocks.|-That wraps it up for tonight. Grab a T-shirt and cassette on|your way out. Thanks for coming. Cut it. -What's up?|-What's he doing here? -What are you doing here?|-Bradley's our new front man. You made your point.|Get him out now. -Only one leaving is you.|-Chris, see these? It's the new P.A. he brought with him.|And that's the new mixing board. Have you heard his voice? -Sit and spin.|-Dude, just relax. I don't care if Bradley can hit|the notes Bobby Beers can hit. Bobby's leaving the band anyway. -You don't know.|-Nina and Samantha say he's leaving. -Bullshit.|-It doesn't matter. We want people to hear our originals.|We're tired of being a cover band. -We're a tribute band.|-No, dude. We are a cover band. The problem is, you think|you're in Steel Dragon. I love you, man, but you're mental. Get a grip on reality. You don't know|where Bobby Beers ends and you begin. I'm mental, because I don't want|to be in a cheesy bar band... ...that butchers music and makes them|listen to your crappy originals! Crappy? "Whole and a Half" kicks ass.|I'm proud to have written it. That's why we got|so many requests for it. Don't shit on me because you're|scared to write your own songs. Yeah, that's it. I'm too scared. If you wanna make it,|you write your own tunes. Thanks for the tip, bro.|Look, come on, guys. We loved playing Dragon tunes. We|couldn't imagine playing anything else. -I thought it'd be a goof.|-A goof? Wouldn't you rather fail|as yourself... ...than succeed as|a Bobby Beers clone? You can write a song about|why I would wanna do that! All right, you're gone. Just go! What's so fucking funny? Babe, come on. Let's go. Fine. This is my mike stand!|I'm taking it! These are my cables. I'll get new cables. -Don't think I'm coming back.|-I don't. -Well, that's because I'm not.|-Good. I'm serious. If I leave,|I'm not coming back! -You said that!|-Shut up, Bradley. Last time. Emily. If you still want to manage us,|then it's okay with us. Rob, I'm a businesswoman. Rule one in this business is|you go where the talent is... ...and all the fucking talent|that was in this band just left. You know, those guys are|so replaceable. It'll take me five minutes to put|together a band and blow them away. Maybe this is just a sign. You know, just time to move on. I'm not in the mood to look|on the bright side now. No, this is an opportunity for you... ...to write your own songs. Why? Be another clown with a guitar,|trying to get attention? No way. Remember what you wrote|for me on my birthday? -No.|-Yes, you do. Come on, please.|It's embarrassing. Are you done making fun of me yet? I love that song. You're not getting it.|You're not hearing me. I'm telling you,|first time I ever saw you... ...first time I laid eyes on you... ...sophomore year, Bill Starbuck|in The Rainmaker, I said to myself,|"Oh, my God, that guy's got it." I mean, my heart stopped. And I said,|"That guy is going all the way." I was just singing|someone else's lines. I did not write them. -My favorite color is rainbow.|-Mine's mauve, I said no. Haley, did you answer|the telephone? Thank you. Sunshine Daycare. Chris! Telephone! Telephone!|You want to help me crack eggs? -I want five.|-Five eggs. Chris? ls that Chris Cole? -Who is this?|-This is Kirk Cuddy, Ricki, your accent is|as lame as your playing. What do you suggest|I do about my playing? Who is this? I told you, it's IKirk Cuddy.|I play in a band called Steel Dragon. -Maybe you've heard ofus,|-I don't have time. Hang on, hang on.|Listen to this, all right? Are you lip-synching? If this is IKirk,|what did you call your third wife? Do we have to talk about that old slag?|I called her Sugar Bum. The second wife, too,|It's why the third left, Now I affectionately refer|to all ladies as Tottie, Is that enough for you? My God, this is unbelievable.|I was sorry to hear about your dog. Pookie? Yeah. I sent flowers|but I didn't get a response. But I figured you're so busy. Can we get past|the This ls Your Life crap? There's a ticket waiting for you|for a flight to L.A. tomorrow. -Are you serious?|-Ofcourse I'm serious, -Tell no one about this,|-Yes, sir. Good man, I'll see you tomorrow, Bye. Right there. I'm Chris Cole. I'm Tania. I work with the band. -You went out with Bobby.|-You look like Bobby. -Is that all you brought?|-My manager. We traded the first-class ticket|for two coach. How resourceful. Yeah, well, I thought so. What was that? Did you see that? Why are we here? I should let IKirk explain|everything to you. Are those your breasts? I'm sorry. What? Your breasts. Are they yours? Well, you know, I don't remember. They're quite sensational. Well, thanks.|That's just what I was going for. So you're in a Steel Dragon cover band. -Tribute band.|-Right. I'm kind of sort of|in between bands right now. -Your pants.|-Emily had them made for me. I bet they're easy|to get in and out of. So, when do we get there?|Tania, is it? Tania. -Are you famous?|-No, we're nobody. Sorry. -Well, you should be!|-Oh, thank you. Bye. -Can you get us in?|-I'm just trying to get in myself. Follow me, darlings. This is Bobby's Twisted tour in '77. -Look at that.|-See the dragon? That's Sammy! Look! It's a '58 Flying V|in fire-mist gold. And it's the real one. Look.|The fingerboards are rosewood. That's from|the Delirious tour, right? -Are you two coming or what?|-Yeah. Sorry. Wait right here, all right? Thanks a lot, Ralph. That's great. -That's it?|-Yeah. Very nice. Thanks. Lovely. They're ready for you now. What's up? Thanks for coming.|Not too fagged out? -I don't think so.|-Mats, the road manager. I saw you in Pittsburgh.|You gave everybody a pass but me. From the looks of you,|I had good reason. We saw a tape of you singing|provided by Nina and Samantha. Is the incredible voice really yours? -Cocksuckers!|-That would be you, Bobby. You think some child|can replace me? You want to do your thing. -You're firing me?|-Calm down. You calm down, you wanker! -It's because I'm gay, isn't it?|-You're gay? No, I have pierced nipples and a house|in Morocco because I'm John Wayne. Have you listened|to the lyrics of "Stand Up"? Did you really think|that IKim was a girl? -IKim was a guy?|-Yeah, IKim was a guy. He's my lover, to the horror|of these sausage-jockeys. -As if we give a toss.|-Just keep your dick away from me. Stop it, man. You don't turn up|for recording sessions. You missed half the gigs,|and when you did show-- I am Steel Dragon!|Without me, you're nothing! Give us a break. You'll be playing for coppers|in the tube without me! We'll see. Yeah. We'll see. -What's going on?|-I don't know. My scarf. -Take it.|-Yeah, I will. Good. If I leave now, I'm never coming back.|Never. Heard you the first time. What you looking at? You think you can dress like me|and be a star? -No, sir.|-You have no idea what it takes. You think it's all sex,|drugs and rock 'n' roll? You got the sex wrong. I never touch drugs.|No one does a gig like I do half-cut. Not even at your age. And it's bed, 1 1 :30 every night|before a gig. That's what it takes. Just do your own thing. Get your own life.|It's like being bloody Elvis. Except Elvis was the king. And I'm just the queen. Very funny. Ha-bloody-ha. Bastards. You bastards. Sorry about that. -Missed your cue.|-Yeah, sorry, IK-- -You do know this song?|-Yes, sir. We'll pick it up just|coming out of the intro. I'm sorry. We wasting our time here? Sorry. Could I start it one more time? All right, go again. Sorry about that. I love you, I love you, Well, mate, do you want the gig, then? Look in the lens, guys.|Go. Get in there more. Give me attitude.|Two double-platinum records. You're playing the Forum. You got|20 girls who want to be with you. Give me rock star attitude.|Hold that. Here we go. Hey, lzzy, let's try one|with attitude. No smile. Sorry. Better. Now you're looking cool. Come on, right in my lens.|Nice shot. Attitude. We combed this entire planet|looking for someone... ...heavy enough to pull this off|and we found a star. When this guy sings, you'll forget|about Bobby Beers. I promise you. Izzy! ls that your name? lzzy? Yeah, the name's lzzy,|like lzzy's Revenge. Holy shit. Izzy? I'm not calling him lzzy. Can you hit all the notes|Bobby can? That's why I'm in the band. Stand up and shout How do you keep your voice|in such great shape? My choir teacher gives me|really cool exercises-- He eats a lot of pussy, that's how. Yeah, I eat a lot ofpussy, -Classy.|-Like father, like son. -That's my boy.|-Come on, you guys. -How was l?|-So good. So comfortable. -I messed up my accent.|-It was great. -Nice way to handle that "pussy" Iine.|-I can't argue with him. Izzy, don't worry.|I'll make an honest man out of you. I eat a lot of pussy. Loads of it. I eat a lot of pussy. Tons. I got my voice eating pussy, man.|It's a vocal technique exercise. I got it eating pussy.|Loads of it. All the time. It's all I do. Breakfast, morning,|noon, night. I've got to have it. It's all I do, is eat pussy.|I love it. Either get in here and do it|or shut up. Hold on. Oh, shit! I eat pussy! Hi. I'm lzzy's mother. -Have a good one.|-I'll see you up there. -Did you see all the people?|-I know. Just breathe. You'll be great.|Nobody knows these songs better. -True.|-Be yourself, Chris. -Don't get--|-Izzy. You'll be great, babe.|I love you so much. I love you too. All right, matey.|Time to go to work. Sorry, darling, back to the henhouse. I'm gonna sit with his parents. Whatever twirls your beanie.|Come on, mate. -I gotta piss.|-What? You gotta piss? -Go now.|-I can't. Or you gotta use it. Use it.|You're awesome. Bye, babe. -Are you okay?|-Yeah. Well, you're in my house now, mate.|And I ain't lost a man yet. -Let's do it.|-Here we go. Let's do it, Mats. This is your coronation, my dear. There you go. All right, boy. You're okay. You won't need it, but there's|a bucket in each wing, all right? -Up you go.|-All right, Mats. Break a leg! Are you all right, lzzy? -I'm all right.|-Fantastic! IKeep going! Thank you. -You okay?|-Couldn't be better. There's a bit up there.|That's it. How do I look? Fantastic. It's brilliant, mate.|Fucking brilliant. Off you go. I'm just a regular guy... ...who grew up with posters|of these guys on my walls! And now I'm one of them! That's right! I'm standing here, living proof|that if you work hard enough... ...and you want it bad enough,|dreams do come true. So follow your dreams, man. Follow your dreams,|because we all die young. Fucking scintillating, baby! Quiet! Shut them up behind us.|Give us 10 minutes. In we go. Lock it up! Thank you! That was something really.... Amazing! You were demented out there. I thought I was gonna|break my neck when I fell. You brought the audience home.|You did fucking beautiful. Thanks. It was so heavy hearing the music|played to perfection. We heard it sang right. -Beautiful.|-Right between the eyes. It was incredible, man.|Thanks, IKirk. The Dragons! All right, let's go. Go. Go. Get the hell out of here. -Oh, my pass.|-VIP. Sorry. I'm Chris' girlfriend. Manager. -Who?|-Izzy's girlfriend/manager. -Yeah, right.|-She's okay. She's all right. -Go on.|-I'm his mother. How amazing was he? Brilliant! Our boy came through tonight.|He was on fire. -Where are you going?|-Oh, sorry. I've got.... -No. Go on back, darling.|-I'm lzzy's brother. -I don't think so.|-Mom! What did you think? -Are you all right?|-I am so good. -Oh, man.|-This is insane. -Arrest her for indecent exposure.|-Out of my jurisdiction, bro. -Mats, get us the tequilas, will you?|-Ladies, you're on. Got an initiation for you.|You joined, done a beautiful job. Now I'll buy you a drink, mate.|Hello, ladies. Thank you. For lzzy! -Hey! Hang on. No hands.|-No hands. You're hanging with the hardcore now. Two teeth, come on. Go on, my son. You're so bad. Oh, my God. -The laws of gravity no longer apply.|-I guess not. You'll get used to it. You build up a tolerance to it. Right, okay. I'll get that one going. -Some crazy stuff happens.|-Oh, my God, it's amazing. It's all good fun.|Just makes for good stories, you know? I'm beginning to have|a couple of my own. You can have a good time as well.|It's allowed. Anything you want.|You just have to ask. -Don't forget.|-Oh, I won't. Cheers. I'm gonna go to the dance floor. -Have you seen Emily?|-How you doing? I'm good. I'm really good.|I'm great, actually. Tell me something. How's it feel to know|that everyone in here... ...wants to fuck you? You're serious? I can't stop touching you.|I can't keep my hands to myself. You know, you've turned me|into a silly little groupie. There she is. We were just talking about how|stunningly beautiful you are, really. Oh, God, you two.|Such a sexy couple. If I were you,|I'd spend all my time in bed. Come on. -Sorry about that.|-Relax, lover. You were terrific last night. Are those my pants? Yeah, they're a bit snug,|but that's how I like them. -So you think....|-Let's not. People, boat's leaving. All aboard.|Quick as you can, please. Thank you.|All right, two lovely people. Quickly, boys.|Boat's going in a minute. Good afternoon, my darlings.|Look, I've been meaning to tell you. There's a longstanding rule|that wives and girlfriends... ...aren't allowed on the bus. The boys don't like distractions|when they're working on their music. You can travel with the wives.|They're nice. Yeah, well, who are they? That's IKirk's astrologer... ...and his physical therapist. And that, well, we all know what|that is, right? We'd better go. -I'm gonna ride with Emily.|-Oh, no. Sorry. You can't do that. The boys need you there|when they work on the tunes. Go ahead, babe. I'm fine. Quick as you can. -You sure?|-Yeah, I'm sure. I didn't know about the rule. Yeah. Just get on the bus. -Have fun.|-You too. Be careful. The boys are waiting in the back.|They're working. They need you. -What's up, lzz?|-What's up? Izz, you want some? I was gonna go over the schedule. Suit yourself.|It's good for writing lyrics. You know, he's a rock star now.|The normal rules don't apply. -I didn't say anything.|-You didn't have to. Somebody's jealous. No. No, I'm not. I just know him|and he's not that-- Like hell he's not.|He's a guy, isn't he? Look, we all know exactly|what happens on that bus. I met Ghode on that bus. I didn't say anything. I know it's crazy,|but it comes with the territory. You either drive yourself batty|trying to change it or you adapt. You gotta let him off the leash|once in a while. Or they get cranky. At the end|of the day, they always come home. And who says you can't|have your own fun? Exactly. -Do you want some?|-No, I'm good. I just had breakfast. -Okay. Here.|-Hair of the dog. Here's some advice from me.|Number one: Learn to share. Number two: Get very close|with his accountant. And three: Don't sign anything.|I had to learn that the hard way. You know what I always say.|If you love someone, let them go. And if they come back to you|with very expensive jewelry... ...then it's meant to be. I hope I am not as cynical|as you are when I am your age. Honey, she's 23. 221/2 . -23|-I am 221/2 . You guys were at my birthday party.|I was born.... Move aside, you scallywags.|You're getting in the way of future sales. Be nice to this bloke from MTV. They're not playing|our videos as much... ...since the boys trashed their set. Tell them about that thing|you do with your tongue. -All right, and here we are.|-Thanks, Mats. I'll be back in half an hour.|Mind your backs, please! -Chris, I need to talk to you--|-You can't call me that here. I need to talk to you. I gotta do this MTV thing,|then talk to a producer-- I know your schedule.|I get a copy every day. -Then you know when I'm done.|-I'm leaving. -Just meet me at the hotel.|-I'm going to Seattle. Come on. Em, what the hell|is going on in Seattle? -Marci and I have been talking--|-Who's Marci? You know who Marci is.|My roommate, Rob's girlfriend. Sorry. I know who she is.|I've got things on my mind. I know, I know. We've been talking about this business|and we got our loan. -We're going to Seattle to--|-When did you do this? While the wives were out shopping. Is this a money thing?|lf you need money-- You know I didn't mean it|like that, Em. I swear. -Are you leaving me?|-No. I'm not leaving you. But I am leaving this.|I cannot do this every day. -I thought we're having a great time.|-We are. It has been fun. But, baby, this is all happening|to you. And it's great. But it's different for me.|I can't follow a bus all day. You don't have to do that anymore.|We're getting our own car. It's not about the car. What is it? You know, it's wanting a life. And I really want to do this thing|with Marci in Seattle. Can we hook up in Seattle|when I get there? Of course. Of course. All right. I'll talk to Mats|and get you our numbers... ...so you can call|when you get there. So I know you got there|safe, all right? So I'll see you in Seattle? Can I give you some advice, mate? -What's up, A.C.?|-Let the chick go, man. -So how are we doing?|-Lovely. Thank you very much. -I'll be back to check on you.|-I'm sure you will. Freshening up the blood. The liver doesn't work as good|as it did when I was your age. Listen, make it easier on yourself. There's no way it can work. You start off with|the best intentions. But there's so much pussy coming|at you every day that... ...finally it wears you down.|Then you crack. Aren't you married to a supermodel? Yeah, you know why? Because I can. And you can too. You got these birds dreaming|about having it off with you. That makes the guys want to be you. The guys are the ones|that buy the records. So if the chicks don't want you,|the guys are gone. I mean, put it this way: Your job is to live the fantasy|other people only dream about. Don't go in half-assed. Dream big. Live the life. -You running for pink slips?|-See you in hell, Bat Boy. You ready, Robin? Go! You got yourself a Ferrari! Hello, Wichita. Izzy? Oh, my God, is that lzzy? I love you! Watch out! Out of my bloody way! -What's going on?|-His wife ran off with Peter Gabriel. -Let me get that.|-That doesn't work. Ladies, ladies, please.|A little bit of decorum, please. Now, listen. We've got limited space.|Just be patient. I gotta check your credentials,|so have your pussy passes out. If I get to be with lzzy,|I am going to shit bricks. Well, yeah, that'll make|a lasting impression. -Do you dance at Chubbies?|-No. You should. You have a killer body.|It's not totally nude there. We wear G-strings,|so the guys respect us way more. Yeah, that is so true. Nothing says "respect" Iike cramming|a strip of Lycra up your ass. Fucking-A, mama! Yes, that's fine.|You're absolutely fine. Oh, hi. Hello. Now, that's a very|important little P, isn't it? -In you go. Nice.|-What's the "P" stand for? Yes, it's "pass." Oh, yeah? It's not "pimp"? -No, it's "personal"....|-"Personal friend." Yeah, "personal friend of the band."|Yeah. One sec. I'm not here to check up|on him. I was invited. -He's doing interviews.|-Interviews? Okay. Tell you what, darling. I'm not really sure|where he is, actually. If you'd like to wait just.... Of course, wait here if you like.|He's actually down there. What are you doing here? I live here, Chris. I thought you were in Seattle. We're in Seattle.|You're in Seattle. I'm sorry. -You forgot.|-No. Yeah, you did.|You forgot I was coming. Wait. I did not forget|you were coming. Mats. Told him to arrange-- Didn't I say|to remind me she was coming? Shit. I'm so sorry.|I really screwed up, mate. -What do you mean?|-Chris, please. You don't need people|taking falls for you. Please. No, Em. I did not forget. Chris, don't lie to me.|Please don't lie to me. It might've slipped my mind.|But I didn't forget. I remembered.... I didn't remember,|but I didn't forget, okay? Things get crazy.|It's hard to keep things straight. I know. I see that. -It is.|-I know. I see that. Emily, you look great. Come on. You're wasted.|You're absolutely wasted. -No, I'm not wasted. I'm tired.|-Sorry. I gotta do him first,|because I gotta work at midnight. Come over here. Stand over here|for a second, all right? -Who are you?|-Izzy. What is this? What? Izzy. But you don't have|to call me that. It's me. Call me Chrizzy, okay? You don't have to call me lzz.|Call me Chris. Chris. Well, I'm glad we talked.|I'm gonna go. -Emily, wait.|-What? What? -I'll go with you.|-Go with me where? With you. I'm gonna go to Seattle. We're in Seattle, Chrizzy. Sorry, sorry. But... ...are you guys done?|Because l-- We're done. Get going on this one because|she's gotta be at work by midnight. Dinner's canceled. She's really sweet,|but I was here first. Why don't we go in here?|Somewhere out of the way. Can I get a picture, lzzy? All right, I gotta go.|Here you go. Jorg, it's not very brutal.|Can we make it more raunchy? Sounds raunchy in here. Maybe it's an E.Q. thing.|Just take a few minutes. It needs a bit of bollocks to it.|E.Q. it or something. Good hunting at your ranch? Great. Everything I saw, I killed.|IKilled something every damn day. You should bring|your new fiance up there. She's busy at the moment.|Some yearbook committee. --got any body to it. -Hey, lzz.|-What's up? -Hello, Chrizzy.|-How are you guys? -What's with your eyebrow?|-Isn't it cool? You gotta clear it with us|before you do that. Worked on some songs for the album.|They're still rough... ...but I wanted to get your input|before I went further. I don't know. Just a thought,|but isn't that a cool cover? No title, no band name.|Could be heavy. What do you think? Izzy, it looks great. It still needs work. I'm glad you've been having fun|writing songs. I busted my ass|working on the songs. But the tunes have|already been written. -What do you mean?|-A.C. and I wrote them during break. -I know you and A.C. do most of it--|-Not most. All of it. But shouldn't I have some input? I'm singing the tunes,|so you at least want my stamp. I'm not just.... You aren't just expecting me|to be some singer-for-hire, are you? Let me explain. Come here. Listen, our fans, right,|our loyal, die-hard fans... ...our very lifeblood, if you will,|expect to see certain things. We give them what they want. We don't deviate because one|disappointed fan can turn into two... ...to four, to eight,|till the next thing you know... ...we're playing to a half-empty hall. And our lost sheep are off enjoying|the rock stylings of, say, Ratt. So while I understand your impulse|to do your own thing... ...and I admire it|in some small way... ...if you want to stay|with Steel Dragon... ...then you have to reconcile yourself|to doing the Steel Dragon thing. All right? And the Steel Dragon thing|is that A.C. and I write the songs. And you sing the songs that we write. Am I clear? Yeah. Good. What's he doing? -What?|-Just sing it like it's written. -I thought I was.|-You weren't. All right. Sorry. -Great.|-Theo, from the top. Thanks. Pretty good. What is it when you do something|to somebody and they hate it? Then somebody does the same|to you and you hate it. I suppose some might call it|poetic justice. I don't know. All I know is I owe a guy named Rob|a big fat apology. That's for sure. We all owe someone an apology along|the way. I mean, that's life, man. A long, long time ago... ...when I was at university... ...l was married. No. You were married? It was before you boys and that|rock 'n' roll music corrupted me, man. Yeah, I still think|about it sometimes. She was really a very sweet girl. What happened?|lf you don't mind me asking. No, no. One day we were sitting in the park. Having lunch, me and the wife. I needed to take a piss... ...so I walked to the toilet.|You know, in the bathroom. I'm standing there staring|at the wall, as you do. And all of the sudden,|something came over me. Like a fear that my whole life|had already been laid out for me. I'd finish my studies, get a job. I'd be working for somebody else... ...worrying about things|that didn't matter. So I walked out of there. IKept going. Didn't come back. You just left her there? Yep. Sitting in front of a half-eaten|steak and kidney pie. Very harsh, man. She came to see a show a few years|ago. She hadn't changed at all. She married my best friend.|A doctor. They have three gorgeous little kids. Yeah, she's very happy. Very happy. Thank you. You know, I'm just a regular guy... ...who grew up with posters|of these guys on my walls. And now I'm one of them.|That's right. I'm standing here, and I'm proof if you|work hard and want it bad enough.... Dreams come true! That's right. Dreams do come true|so follow them. Me? -Awesome!|-What's your name? Mike, but my friends call me|Thor, God of Thunder! -IKnow the rest of it?|-IKnow them all. I know all your moves.|I study you. I love you. You want to rip|the roof off this place? Are you serious? Yep. Go ahead. Get out there.|Get out there, bro. It's all yours. -Everything all right?|-Couldn't be better. Taking a night off, are you? I'm gonna go take a piss. I'll see you again. Off you go. Chris "Izzy" Cole of Steel Dragon|shocked fans,,, ,,, when he walked offstage, Izzy's departure is|more trouble for Steel Dragon,,, ,,,as the band tries|to maintain its status,,, ,,,as the industry's|top hard-rock act, As far as I'm concerned,|it's much ado about nothing. There's still four of us left.|We're not going anywhere. I don't give a fuck where he is... ...and I don't care if I see|that bastard again. He said to me: "I need to take a piss." That's it. "Mats," he said,|"I really need a piss." One day I realized|it wasn't for me anymore. I was wearing the clothes|and singing the songs. Itjust didn't feel right, Ijust wanted to find myself,|Find my own music, -What's up?|-Long time. -It has been. You cut your hair.|-So did you, asshole. I'm starting a new band. I got "Whole and a Half"|on a shelf. It's ready to go. I'm gonna go talk to Emily. I missed you. I know. Me too. -I wanted to tell you.|-I know. I know. You look great. So do you. Why didn't you rejoin the band? As the mouthpiece of Steel Dragon,|I had this responsibility. It's me they're looking at|and want to learn from. The vacuous, empty world of sex|and drugs and rock 'n' roll... ...is not the message|I want to send out. I wanted something more cerebral,|eloquent and dignified, We kick ass, man! Ever get your ass kicked by|a guy with long hair and makeup? Right here! Chris "Izzy" Cole shocked fans--|Damn it! Cut! Okay, Backstage Pass.|Okay, Crud Pollution. Okay, Bobby Beers.|I mean, Chris Queers. After the nuclear holocaust... ...survivors will crawl out|of the rubble, light a fire... ...then one man,|the singer of songs, will sing. And that is the essence|of rock 'n' roll. What are you talking about? Chris.... As they continue--|What are they continuing? As the band continues|to struggle to continue its-- What? Oh, my God. No more metal shit.|It's all about hip-hop. It's all bling-bling, pinky ring,|word about, bling-bling. No more of this. It's about this.|You heard me? Lay your shit by the TV and watch|this shit. This shit the bomb. |
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