# And once again
you'll sway my heart away #
# With your ya-ka hula
Rickey-dula tune #
# Everybody loves a baby
That's why I'm in love with you #
# Pretty baby, pretty baby #
Thanks, buddy.
# And I'd like to be your sister, brother
dad and mother too #
# Pretty baby
Pretty baby #
# Wort you come and let me rock you
in my cradle of love #
# And we'll cuddle
all the time #
# Oh, I want a loving baby
and it might as well be you #
# Pretty baby of mine #
# Pretty baby of mine #
Here you are, folks.
Get 'em while they last.
Two articles
for the price of one.
A box of Yum Yums and all the latest
song hits. Hey, Eddie, what time is it?
- Oh, about a quarter after.
- A quarter after? Holy smokes!
- Hold this. I'll just be able to make it.
- Hey, what's the idea?
I'll be right back.
Just going across the street.
- Hiya, Ted.
- Why, you big flatfoot.
You might've broke my neck,
you know it?
- What's the matter? Some music lover
chasing you? - Okay, wise guy.
I'll be singing them songs
uptown before you know it.
Way up, in the Bronx.
# I'm sorry, dear #
# So sorry, dear #
# I'm sorry #
# I made you cry #
# Wort you forget #
# Won't you forgive #
# Don't let us say #
# Good-bye #
# One little word #
# One little smile #
# One little kiss #
# Wort you try #
#It breaks my heart #
# To hear you sigh #
# I'm sorry #
# I made you #
# Cry #
Say, you did all right out there.
You can certainly turn it on.
Yeah, and I can turn it off too.
How much?
Uh, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90-
Oh, the rat!
- A dollar. A dollar, five-
- Oh, gee, honey, you were great.
- The audience was crazy about you.
- That agent-What did he say?
- Oh, Harry?
- Yeah.
He had to go in his office on account
of booking an act in Jersey City.
- But he said maybe.
- He said maybe?
- Yeah, maybe.
- Did you tell him you were in blackface?
- Sure. I told him the whole act, I did.
- And all he said was maybe?
- Yeah. - Oh, give me my coat.
Ted, there's no use kidding.
We're not gonna get anyplace
with this act, and you know it.
Now, listen, honey. We've been
rehearsing too long to stop now.
Listen, all we want is one break.
Hey, pipe down.
There's a guy out here
trying to sing "Mother Machree. "
- Peggy, how would you like to go
away for a while? - Sure. Where?
- Now, wait a minute. - No, I mean it.
I'm sick and tired of New York.
- But the act- Suppose we get a booking?
- I've got $60.
- How much have you got?
- Eighty cents.
We'll go to some nice
little summer hotel, huh?
Forget everything- New York,
show business, agents, everything.
- What do you say?
- Now, wait a minute.
- Oh, that sounds wonderful!
- No, I mean it.
- Just think. Trees and lakes and trees-
- And lakes and trees-
Can't you have some consideration
for an artist?
I'm an artist myself.
- Be out in a minute, cowboy.
I just wanna use the phone.
- #Ja- da, ja- da, ding, ding, ding #
- #And everybody's singing #
#Ja- da, I said ja- da #
- Can I use your phone?
- Go right ahead.
Thank you.
- Give me 602.
- # It's so soothing and appealing to me #
Buck?
How are you, cowboy?
Say, uh, how do you get over there?
Keep right on the main road,
two miles out of town.
There'll be lights on the gate
on the left.
You'll stay over with us, won't you?
- #Ja-da, I said, ja-da #
- #Ja-da #
I-I think I'll check in here, Buck.
- Thanks just the same.
- Plenty of room here.
# It's so soothing and appealing to me
Ja-da, ja-da #
- Hello, Bart?
- Oh, sorry, Buck. What'd you say?
I said we have plenty of room here
if you want to spend the night.
Oh, thanks just the same.
I'll be there about 9:00.
Oh, Buck, I took the liberty of having
a package sent to me at your house.
Yeah, I'll explain later.
But would you mind...
just asking the butler on the front door
to hold it for me?
Yes, I'll tell him,
and I'll see you soon.
Thanks.
That crazy zebra.
- Who was it?
- Bart Clinton.
A lieutenant in my battalion
at Belleau Woods.
I heard he was still in New York
and sent him an invitation.
You can't get those war buddies out of
your mind even for a night, can you?
# Vamp a little lady
Vamp a little lady #
# Vamp a little lady
Vamp a little lady #
# Everybody, do the vamp #
# Vamp a little lady
Vamp a little lady #
# Vamp a little lady
Vamp a little lady #
# She will like it, maybe she will like it,
maybe, she will like it, maybe #
# Oh, you pretty baby #
# Make it good and snappy
Make it good and snappy #
# Make it good and snappy
Make it good and snappy #
# While they're playing
just keep swaying #
# Do a little whatnot
Do a little fox-trot #
# When you cuddle up don't fight #
#Just vamp and swing along #
# Keep doing it
Vamp, and sing a song #
# Now, don't you ruin it
Do a nifty step #
# With lots of pep #
# And watch your reputation #
# Do a bumblebee #
# Buzz around a bit
Shake a wicked knee #
# He will fall for it
Vamp all night and day #
# Keep vamping till
you vamp your cares away #
- I like your voice.
- I like the way you play the piano.
You know, I wish you were in
some kind of trouble.
- But why?
- So I could get you out of it.
Oh, no, they're very
good friends of mine.
Besides, they only live
a little ways down the road.
But what'll they think dragging
a complete stranger to their party?
Oh, they'll be annoyed.
Probably regard it as pretty nervy of me.
They may even go so far
as to get downright sore...
till they meet you.
- Good evening, sir.
- Miss Sargent and Mr. Clinton.
Mr. Barton DeWitt Clinton, sir?
That's the play-by-play
version, yes.
Oh, by the way, Mr. Clinton,
there's a parcel here for you.
Oh, that's right. Excuse me, dear.
I'll be back in just a minute.
- From Tiffany's, sir.
- Yes, that's it.
Thanks, cowboy.
Bart, you old son of a gun.
How are you, Buck?
It's great to see you again.
Miss Sargent, darling, may I present
our host, Major Buck Russell.
Biggest dude in the A.E.F.
He not only wore pajamas in France, but he
had coat hangers for 'em in the trenches.
Yes, that would be peculiar
to a man who sleeps with his hat on.
I can get rid of this fellow for you
if you like, Miss Sargent.
- Ask me later.
- I'll remember.
Come on outside. I've got some stuff
out here right off the boat.
And I mean that.
So do I.
- Good night, darling.
- Good night.
- See you in the morning?
- Mm-hmm.
- Good night.
- Bye.
Hello, Buck.
- Something wrong?
- I don't think so, Bart.
But Mr. Cavanaugh here is a detective.
He'll tell you.
We've met before,
haven't we, Mr. Clinton?
- Possibly, but I don't remember it.
- Well, it doesn't matter.
You had a package delivered
to yourself tonight...
at Mr. Russell's, I believe,
from Tiffany's.
- Yes. - Do you mind saying
what was in that package?
Well, certainly not.
It was a little silver chain.
Do you mind letting me see it?
No.
Thanks.
Well, this little
silver chain...
happens to be worth
about $25,000.
But I don't understand.
That isn't what I ordered.
Well, then you don't mind
if I take it back to the store, do you?
Why, of course not.
I ordered a little silver chain.
- It's stupid to send out-
- Not so stupid at that.
I'm here, remember? You see, Mr. Clinton,
that's an old dodge-
the business of ordering an expensive piece
of jewelry sent to a wealthy home.
So it's always best for the police
to check up just in case.
I mean, uh,
just in case of a mistake...
uh, like this.
- Are you implying that-
- Now, wait a minute, Clinton.
You said it was a mistake.
Okay, it's a mistake.
Then I'll take the necklace
back to the store.
But if there's anything else you'd like
to make out of it, that'd be okay too.
Understand?
Buck, I'm sorry to put you
to all this inconvenience.
Forget it.
- Anything else?
- Not by me.
You'd better watch
your step, sweetheart...
or one of these days
you're liable to outsmart yourself...
right into that big stone
cottage up the river.
Good morning, Miss Sargent.
You're up rather early.
- Will you ring Mr. Clinton's room, please?
- Mr. Clinton?
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, uh, Mr. Clinton checked out.
Checked out?
Are you sure?
Yes, about, uh,
2:00 this morning.
Well, did he leave
any message for me?
No.
No, there's nothing here.
Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
But, look, I've never
been on without her.
We're a two act, me and her,
and that's the way we've been rehearsing.
Now, listen.
She couldn't get back here, could she?
- I don't think so.
- So what are you gonna do...
pass up the greatest break
you've ever had in your life?
But look. Couldnt you make it
next Sunday night? Huh?
No, we couldn't. So get this.
Out there listening to you...
will be Ziegfeld, Dillingham
and the biggest bookers in New York.
- I know, I know.
- You know, huh?
- Yeah.
- Well, then get this. If you flop on me...
I give you my word
I'll come out on that stage...
and I'll break
every bone in your body.
Get that?
Good luck. Get out there and kill 'em.
# Mammy mine #
# Your little rolling stone
that rolled away #
# Strolled away #
# Mammy mine #
# Your little rolling stone
is home today #
# There to stay #
#Just to see
your smiling face #
# Smile a welcome smile #
# I want to feel
your fond embrace #
# Listen #
# Mammy mine #
# Rock-a-bye your baby #
# With a Dixie melody #
# When you croon #
# Croon a little tune #
# From the heart of Dixie #
# Hang that cradle
Mammy mine #
# Right on that
Mason-Dixon line #
# And swing it from
Virginia to Tennessee #
# With all the soul that's in you #
# Weep no more, my lady
Mammy #
#Sing it again for me #
#And Old Black Joe #
#Just as though #
# You had me on your knee #
# A million baby kisses I'll deliver #
# If you will only sing
"The Swanee River" #
# Rock-a-bye your rock-a-bye baby #
# With a Dixie melody #
# Rock-a-bye #
#Hush-a-bye #
#Oh, rock your baby with a Dixie melody #
# When you croon
croon a little tune #
# From the heart of Dixie #
# Hang that cradle
Mammy mine #
# Right on that
Mason-Dixon line #
# And swing it from
Virginia to Tennessee #
# With all the soul that's in you #
# Mammy, Mammy, Mammy
listen to what they're playing #
# They're playing
"Weep No More, My Lady" #
# Sing it again for me and remember #
# Remember Old BlackJoe
Lord love you, Mammy #
# You sang when
I was on your knee #
# A million baby kisses I'll deliver #
# If you will only sing
"The Swanee River" #
# Rock-a-bye
your rock-a-bye baby #
# To a Dixie #
# Melody #
Wait a minute, folks.
You ain't heard nothin' yet.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, if there's
any song you'd like to have me sing...
well, just name it, that's all, folks.
- Just name it.
- Hello!
Just name it.
Any song at all, folks. Any song at all.
How about " Rock-a-bye Your Baby
With A Dixie Melody"?
I'm sorry, sir, but I just got through
singing "Rock-a-bye Baby. "
I'm sorry, sir, but I wasn't listening.
Well, the rest of the
audience was listening.
Why?
As I was saying, ladies and gentlemen-
- What's going on behind that curtain?
- Any song at all, please.
- Just ask for a song, please.
- What's going on behind that curtain?
There's nothing going on
behind this curtain.
There must be!
There's nothing going on in front of it.
Is the manager out front someplace?
The funniest thing happened today
as I was coming to the theater.
I doubt it.
Listen, old man, will you please give me
a chance? I'm doing the best I can.
After all, this may not be important
to you, but it really is to me.
- So give me a break, will you?
- You really want to sing, Cotter?
Yes, I want to sing.
Then sing, Cotter. Sing.
- And I'd just like to see
somebody try to stop you.
Thanks, friend.
And at this time, ladies and
gentlemen, I'm gonna sing-
And this time, I'm going to listen.
Play.
# Toot, toot, tootsie
good-bye #
# Toot, toot, tootsie
don't cry #
# The little choo-choo train
that takes me away from you #
# No words can tell
how sad it makes me #
# Kiss me, tootsie
and then #
# Do it over again #
# Watch for the mail
I'll never fail #
# And if you don't get a letter
then you'll know I'm in jail #
# Don't cry, tootsie
Don't cry #
# Good-bye, tootsie
Good-bye #
I'll kill him. I'll cut his throat
if I have to go to the chair for it.
Come on. Come on.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
Nobody but me, pal.
Nobody but me!
- Cut it out, will ya? Cut it out!
- Can't you see I'm apologizing?
- Let me go! Let me go!
- Will you cut it out?
This guy's going to save us.
Will you hold still a minute?
- Yeah, but only a minute.
- All right, now, leave it to me.
- But, mister... - Listen, buddy.
What do you do for a living?
Nothing at the moment.
I- I'm unemployed.
- That's why I - - Okay, okay. You're
hired. You've been hired for sometime.
That's what you were doin' out in
the box tonight. We hired you to do that.
But I-I couldn't.
Oh, I couldn't possibly do that.
- But you did it tonight, didn't ya?
- Well, that's different.
- That's-That was the alcohol.
- Oh.
That's what it does to me.
It makes me bold.
But ordinarily, I'm... shy.
I see. Uh-
Well, what do you drink?
- What do you got?
- Never mind that. Never mind that.
Now, how many of what
to make you bold?
Oh, two, maybe three,
four cocktails.
That's okay.
We can afford that.
From the way you looked, I thought you'd
need a gallon or two. Now do you get it?
You're gonna hire that stewpot to sit up
in the box and make fun of my humor?
What's that gonna
make me look like?
What do you care what you look like
for 500 bucks a week?
You mean I've got to get drunk
six nights a week?
- And two matinees.
- But how will I feel?
You'll feel great.
But you'll have to live in a Turkish bath.
Now, you're a team, see? Don't forget that.
The biggest booker in New York
is here to see you.
Come right in, Mr. Kress.
Glad to see you.
Come right in.
Boys, this is Mr. Sam Kress.
Mr. Kress, this is Ted Cotter
and, uh, Whitey Boone.
- How are you, boys?
- How do you do, Mr. Kress?
- Nice little act you got.
- They seem to like it.
You've got something new
with that partner in the box.
The singing's okay, but that plant
in the box, that's a great topper.
The man probably never lived didn't want
to throw a few insults at a bum comic.
- Bum comic? Now, wait... - That's
exactly the way the boys figured it.
- An audience gets a big bang out of seeing
a comic get kidded. - That's the idea.
Now all you have to do is build it up
a little bit, and you've got something.
How about taking a walk? We'll work out some
sort of deal for the Winter Garden show?
Okay, Mr. Kress.
Good night, boys.
- Watch him.
- But, mister-
- What do you want?
- My name isn't Whitey Boone.
Maybe it "used" to be,
but it is now.
Whitey Boone.
- Here you are, cowboy. Buy yourself
a reindeer. - Thanks, friend.
It's still a little early, boys. You can't
play big league poker on an empty stomach.
Bart Clinton. I was here
the other evening with Mr. Benchley.
You got any kind
of identification, Mr. Clinton?
We gotta be careful
these days.
Yes, I have
my driver's license.
And a business card. I was here
with Mr. Benchley and Mr. Vanderbilt.
Oh, I remember.
- These, uh-These gents with you?
- Oh, yeah. They're okay.
Here we are.
One check, please.
Thank you.
This way, boys.
You know, this little game
I'm taking you to tonight...
they're probably not
the best players in the world.
- We just like a friendly game.
- Well, that's what it'll be.
- Table stakes and a few laughs.
- It sounds swell.
- Yeah. Well, here's looking at you.
- Well, here goes.
#I'm in love, so in love #
# Who is the guy, who is the guy #
# You're crazy about #
#Oh, who'd like to know
You'd like to know #
# Well, hear me shoutin'#
- #I'm just wild about Harry #
- Excuse me.
#And Harry's wild
about me #
# The heavenly blisses of his kisses #
# Fill me with ecstasy #
# He's sweet just like
chocolate candy #
#And just like honey
from a bee #
#Oh, I'm just wild
about Harry #
# And he's
just wild about #
# Cannot do without #
# He's just wild about me #
#And he's #
# Sweet #
# Like candy #
# And just like honey
from a bumblebee #
# Oh #
# I'm just wild about #
# H-A-double-R-Y#
# And he's just wild about #
# Cannot do without #
# He's just wild about me #
It's a raid!
Get rid of your drinks, quickly!
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Settle down!
Now, take it easy, folks.
Just behave yourselves, and you'll all
be out of here in a few minutes.
You're not under arrest.
We only want the people who work here.
All right, boys, round them up.
You get the hats and coats.
I'll be back in a second.
Come on.
Hurry up, you dope. Come on.
- Bart!
- Save it. From now on, you're my guests.
- But, Bart, I can't-
- Come on. Hurry up.
Wise guy, eh?
You take care of her.
Now, listen.
If the cops ask any questions, you don't work
here. You came here with me. Understand?
- Yeah.
- Okay, come on.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
- Okay.
- Why, it's Mr. Clinton, I believe.
Top of the evening to you, Captain.
Taxi.
- Uptown, cowboy.
- Yes, sir.
Hey!
Hey, Clinton!
Oh, he ditched us.
Well, shall we go somewhere else
and have a snort or two?
- Sounds swell.
- Sure.
Well, come on, you all.
Why did you go away?
Don't you know?
Trouble?
Well, there was a-
a misunderstanding.
- You could have told me.
- I didn't want you to know.
Remember what I said
that night?
No matter what you say
or what you do...
it seems to be
all right with me.
- You mean that, don't you?
- Mm-hmm.
It doesn't seem possible,
but you do.
Stuyvesant-5276.
- That it?
- Mm-hmm.
Twenty times, I've picked up
the phone to call you.
- I wanted to so badly.
- Is that misunderstanding over?
Well, then that's all
there is to it.
Oh, Rose, darling.
There's nobody else
in the world like you.
# You've shattered
each and every dream #
# You fooled me
from the start #
# And though you're not true
may God bless you #
# That's the curse of
an aching heart #
# Yes, I said heart #
Up off it, me lad.
We're home.
- All right.
- Easy does it now.
- Windsor Castle, eh?
- Righto.
- New York branch.
- Yeah, that's right.
Give me my coat now.
Here we are, governor.
- That's all right, governor.
- Let me help you.
Up you go.
- Ted!
- Give me my hat.
- Is this Bart?
- Yes.
What's the matter
with you, Ted?
I've just been talking
to a friend of yours, Mr. Clinton.
- How's that? - Mike Cavanaugh of
the New York Police Department.
- Remember?
- Mmm, no, I don't know him.
Well, he remembers you,
you cheap thief.
- Cut it out.
- You know that's what he is- a cheap thief.
You know why he ran out on you last summer?
The coppers chased him out.
- You don't know what you're talking about.
- Am I right?
- It's a lie.
- Come on, Bart. Pay no attention to him.
- He ain't gonna leave, not yet.
- You better beat it.
- No, I won't.
- I'm gonna teach you a lesson, pal.
From now on,
stick to your own kind.
Run around with tramps,
but keep your dirty paws off this kid!
Why, you-
- I'll teach the heel.
- Stop it, Ted, you fool! You crazy fool!
- Rose, don't you understand?
The guy's a crook. - Oh, let go of me!
- Let go of me!
- You mean you don't care?
Oh, beat it!
Beat it! Beat it!
Come on, darling.
Do you think you can make it?
- I don't know.
- Come on.
Come on, now.
Come on.
You'll be all right. Come on.
Come on, darling.
Over here.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Oh.
Baby.
So that was
Mr. Ted Cotter, huh?
Oh, I could kill him.
Oh, gee, but I had a lovely time.
- Oh, can't we keep on going?
- It isn't time to go home yet.
- Yeah, can't we find another spot?
- No.
Why, honey!
What happened
to him?
Oh, there was a little trouble with
the cops, but he talked his way out of it.
Looks more like
he talked his way into it.
- How about it, Peggy?
- How about a little snort somewhere?
Aw, forget 'em. Let's go to bed.
You all right now, dear?
- Yeah, I'm all right, honey. I'll call
you in the morning. - All right.
- Good night, dear.
- Good night, y'all!
Hey, Bart.
Say, how about that little game?
It's only 5:00.
- Yeah, shank of the evening.
- You mean you still want to play?
- Sure. Why not?
- Yeah.
No, forget about that game.
Go on home and stop being chumps.
Hurry up.
Hurry up.
# When the wintry winds
start blowing #
# And the snow is
starting in to fall #
# Then my eyes
turn westward knowing #
# That's the place that
I love best of all #
# California
I've been blue #
# Since I've been away
from you #
# I can't wait
till I get going #
# Even now I'm starting in
to call #
# California, here I come #
# Right back where
I started from #
# Where bowers of flowers
bloom in the spring #
# Each morning at dawning
birdies sing and everything #
# A sun-kissed miss said
Don't be late #
# That's why I can hardly wait #
# Open up that Golden Gate #
# California, here I come #
# California
here I come #
# Right back where
I started from #
# Where bowers of flowers
bloom in the spring #
# Each morning at dawning
birdies sing and everything #
# A sun-kissed miss said
Don't be late #
# That's why I can hardly wait #
# Open up that Golden Gate #
# California, here I come #
- Hey! Hey, Cotter!
- Mr. Cotter to you, you dope!
Mr. Dope to you, you Cotter.
- What do you do for a living outside of
annoying people? - I sell insurance.
Oh, a natural-born heckler.
Yeah, and after watching your act...
my advice to you is to save your money.
Why don't you try
one of our annuities?
One of your annuities?
What good are they?
What good are they? Don't you know
Napoleon has one of our annuities?
- Napoleon?
- Yes, Napoleon.
- But Napoleon is dead.
- He may be dead, but he ain't broke.
Uh, where's
Mr. Cotter's dressing room?
- First door to the left.
- Honey, will you wait?
Yeah.
- Will you tell Mr. Cotter-
- Rosie, dear!
- Oh, Ted, I'm so glad.
- You honey.
Okay, Frank.
Let me look at you, Rosie.
Honestly, you look like
a million bucks.
- Same old Ted, huh?
- Only one thing wrong with tonight.
- I wish you were up there with me.
- Aw, you don't need anybody.
- I don't, eh?
- Mm-mmm.
- Besides, I'm doing pretty good now.
- Production?
No, I'm working
in a speak over on 50th.
- East Side.
- East Side?
- Uh-huh.
- Okay. Rose...
do you still-
Say, you must be doing pretty good.
Where'd you get the rock?
- Bart gave it to me. He's working now.
- "Working. "
You've got him all wrong, Ted.
He's changed.
He's strictly on the level.
Honest, he is.
So he's changed.
So what?
Oh, now, cut it out, Ted.
You know what I mean.
We've been friends too long.
I don't want things to be like this.
It makes me unhappy.
- That's why I came here- to see if we
could make up. - What do you want me to do?
Shake hands, maybe.
That's all.
Okay, honey.
You won't be sorry.
I know you won't.
- You don't wanna get Lefty sore at you,
you know. - Lefty'll get his dough.
- He knows that, but when?
- Now, listen, Toby.
I've got me a job,
and I'm level and honest, see?
Now, Lefty knows that.
Well, why won't he give me a break?
Why won't he let it ride a month or so
until I can square it?
- After all, it's only a couple of
thousand bucks. - It's 2,500.
So it's 2,500.
So what's 2,500 to Lefty?
It ain't how much.
It's the principle of the thing.
When Lefty digs up a proposition and puts you on
it, he wants all the sugar, not just some of it.
Lefty don't like anybody to knock
anything down on him, that's all.
But I just borrowed it,
I tell you.
Well, then you better
just borrow it back.
But soon if you know
what's good for you.
- I can't right now, Toby. I'm flat,
I tell you. - You ain't so flat.
You bought a ring last night from Moe.
You paid 800 down on it.
Well, that was for my gal.
We're engaged.
Yeah? What about that swell joint
you're living in- the Marlborough?
You can't run one of them penthouses
in the Marlborough on hay, you know.
That's not my apartment.
It belongs to some friends of mine.
- They're letting me use it while they're
abroad. - I'm not gonna argue with you.
I'm just telling you what Lefty said.
Let me give you a tip, Clinton.
You can save yourself a lot of trouble by
just kicking in with that dough right away.
Say, uh, tomorrow night
at the latest.
Good hunting.
Quiet, please. Quiet.
Ladies and gentlemen...
I give you the biggest sensation
Broadway has ever known...
Ted Cotter.
- Congratulations, Ted.
- Terrific, Ted.
Thank you. Thank you.
Boys and girls...
Woolcott's notice won't be out till 5:00.
So until then,
I think we've got a hit.
Now, most you folks already know me,
so there's no use...
trying to tell you a great big lie
how the newest star on Broadway...
Ted Cotter,
won his letter.
But there's one angle
I would like to tell.
No man ever really got
anywhere alone.
If you look close enough, you'll always
find a woman mixed up in it somewhere.
Maybe it's his mammy.
Then maybe again, it's Sophie Tucker.
But, believe me, one dame or another
had something to do with it.
Now, in my case,
I had a partner.
And for reasons youse mugs
wouldn't understand...
she passed up the chance we got
to get in on the big time.
Some guy.
But she's here tonight...
and I'm gonna ask her
to sing for us.
The only girl on Broadway
who'd rather listen to her own heart...
than her own voice-
Miss Rose Sargent.
But I'm in the show, I tell ya.
I'm the drunk in the box.
Listen, Jack, if there's anything
they don't need here tonight...
it's a drunk in or out of a box.
Now, beat it, please.
Go ahead, will you, please. Go on.
It won't be long, honey, before you'll
be facing that way when you sing...
and not an empty seat in the house.
"I Never Knew. "
Fill that up again, cowboy.
# I never knew #
# Heaven could speak #
# But now I do #
# I learned it through #
# A conversation with you #
# I never knew heaven could dance #
# But now I do #
# With every step #
# Another little dream
comes true #
# I always thought heaven
was somewhere #
# Way up high in the sky
up above #
# I never thought heaven
was someone like you #
#For me to love #
# I never knew heaven could hold #
# Such tender charms #
# I never knew heaven could be #
# Here in my #
# Arms #
That girl is good.
- You bet your life she's good.
- You're with her, aren't you?
- Yeah, she came here with me, yes.
- That's what I thought.
Tell me, how's she fixed
for representation?
- For what?
- I'm an agent. Harry Long.
- Oh, yes. - I was wondering
if she's tied up with anybody.
I mean, I'd like to handle her.
#Oh, but now I do #
- As a matter of fact, she's under
contract to me. - Oh, I see.
Well, are you interested
in making a deal for her?
- I don't get you.
- Could you come with me for a minute?
#I never thought heaven
was someone like you #
# For me to love #
# I never knew heaven could hold #
# Such tender charms #
# I never knew heaven could be #
# Here in my #
# Arms #
Ahh. There.
Let's go.
- Now, listen, fella.
- Out of my way, slave.
Ted, will you wait here?
All right. Get him.
- See that baby? That's Ziegfeld stuff.
- You're telling me.
And you, you thief-You could
have had her on contract ages ago...
- if you hadn't been such a wiseneimer.
- Well, better late than never.
- Some champagne, please.
- Hey, what do you mean?
That I just closed a deal to handle her,
that's all, with Clinton.
- Clinton?
- For $2,500.
Duck, will ya?
I wanna see him alone.
I'm sorry about that.
- Forget it. Congratulations.
- Thanks.
- What are you doing for lunch tomorrow?
- Well, with you, if you say so.
I'll pick you up.
Where do you live?
- Marlborough. 22-B.
- Marlborough.
I'll be around about 1:00.
Got a couple of things
I'd like to talk to you about.
- How about a little drink?
- Sure.
Champagne for everybody.
- Right?
- Right.
I certainly got
to hand it to you, Bart.
You manage to win more close decisions
than any guy I ever seen.
- I like 'em close.
- Okay, if you like 'em that way.
Believe me, kid, I sure would try
to break myself of the habit...
of cutting corners on a guy like Lefty.
Be good.
Well, hello, cowboy.
Come right in.
Hello, Bart.
- Cute little place you have here.
- Yes, it isn't mine though.
It belongs to a friend
of mine's in Europe.
I'm just staying here while he's away.
- I'll be right with you.
- Just a moment, Clinton.
Since when have you owned a contract
for Rose Sargent's services?
- Why? - Thought you could
get away with it, didn't you?
Do you have any objection
to Long as her agent?
Harry? I should say not.
He's the best in New York.
Well, do you object
to his paying for her?
Object to an agent
paying out money? Hmm.
- Would I object to a miracle? - Then I
don't understand what you're driving at.
After all, if he's a good agent,
and she's a bargain at the price...
why should you object to her
getting some dough out of it?
- Her getting some money?
- Why, of course.
Are you trying to kid me?
Listen, Ted. What you think about
my honesty is a matter so boring to me...
that I can hardly keep my mind on it.
But there's one thing
I want you to remember.
You don't happen to be
the only man that loves Rose...
nor the only man that would like
to do things for her.
Why, even you, a model man,
can see no reason...
why an agent shouldn't pay
a few hundred dollars...
for a client that's liable
to bring him in thousands.
But do you think Rose
has punch enough to get it?
Mm-mmm. Takes a businessman
like me to put over a deal like that.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Mmm. And I'll tell you
something else too.
Under any other circumstances, I'd tell
you or anybody else that questioned it...
to go take a good long jump
in the Gowanus Canal.
But this is different.
Because of her,
I want to see you satisfied about it.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
I want you to see her get the dough.
I haven't got it myself yet,
but I will have in a few days.
Then, if you feel like it, why, you and
Rose and I can have dinner together...
and with your own eyes you can figure out
who gets the dough.
Say, maybe I got you wrong at that.
Well, save it-
Save it until you're sure.
Okay, Bart.
How about our lunch?
No. No, I'd rather not.
We'll sit down together
when you've no further doubts.
- Just as you say, Bart.
- Well, I'll see you to the door.
Never mind.
I know my way out.
Hello? Yeah, get me the
New York American- Classified Ads.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
I'll tell you what I'll do, Mr. Clinton.
I'll give you, for every stick of furniture
in the place exactly as it stands...
- three thousand, five hundred dollars.
- Thirty-five hundred dollars?
But there's some very valuable furniture
in this apartment.
Three thousand,
five hundred, as is.
Well, it's a crime...
but all right.
Oh, by the way, when will you
have the things out?
Oh, I'll have the place stripped
by 6:00 this evening.
- There.
- Very good.
Too bad, Mr. Clinton.
But perhaps this will teach you
to keep out of Wall Street.
Well, good day.
Twenty-five hundred dollars.
- Twenty-five hundred?
- Mm-hmm.
- Show it to me, honey.
- And you aren't sore?
So I'm sore.
So what am I gonna do about it?
Now listen, baby.
If our deal with Ziegfeld goes through...
I'm gonna collect 500% interest
on that proposition the first year.
You're a pretty cute guy, aren't you?
- What do you think?
- I'll tell you what I think.
Oh, no, not now. Not until we've had
a dance anyway. Come on.
Before you say anything else, Ted,
there's something I want to tell you.
- You're married.
- This afternoon.
We're leaving
on our honeymoon tomorrow.
- Come on, let's dance.
- Not now.
Come on, let's get a drink.
I need it.
Buenas noches, senora y senor.
Buenas noches, cowboy.
Ah, it's beautiful, isn't it?
Sure is.
You know, this is
the first rich thing-
I mean, really rich thing
I've- I've ever had in my life.
But not the last, honey.
Oh, it's the first thing
costing over $25...
I didn't have to pay for myself.
Just take a look.
Look at everything-
as far as the eye can see.
- I did.
- It's all yours.
Oh, Bart, I do love you.
- Senora Clinton?
- Yes?
- Un telegrama.
- Telegram.
- Oh, you're wonderful.
- Gracias, cowboy. I mean, uh, gaucho.
Gracias.
Darling, read it.
Oh, isn't it wonderful?
Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.
Another kiss.
- Shall we leave right away?
- Sure. Sure, sure. We'll leave right away.
Hi, cowboy.
Hello, Mike.
It's a little late,
but congratulations.
- She's a great girl.
- You don't have to tell me.
I, uh- I hope you're
behaving yourself.
I hope you're going to learn to mind
your own business one of these days.
Okay, Bart.
Just a friendly little tip, that's all.
You can save it.
Listen, son, one of these days
you're gonna get burned, but burned bad.
When you do,
you're not gonna be able to take it...
because you haven't got it here.
That's the day you're gonna be
a pretty sad young man.
Same to you, old boy, and many of' em.
# Rose #
# Of Washington Square #
# I'm withering there #
# In basement air #
# I'm fading #
# Rose #
# With plain
or fancy clothes #
# They say
my turned-up nose #
# It seems to please #
# Artistic people #
# Beaux #
# Say, I've got
plenty of those #
# With secondhand clothes #
# And nice long hair #
# I've got those
Broadway vampires #
# Lashed to the mast #
# I've got no future
But, oh, what a past #
# Rose #
# Of Washington Square #
#I'm Rose #
#Of Washington Square #
# Rose #
# With plain or fancy clothes #
# They say my turned-up nose #
# It seems to please #
# Artistic people #
# Beaux #
# I've plenty of those #
# With secondhand clothes #
# And nice long hair #
# She's got those Broadway vampires #
# Lashed to the mast #
# She's got no future
But, oh, what a past #
# I'm Rose #
# Of Washington #
# Square #
Isn't she great?
Oh, boy, didn't I tell you?
# Rose of Washington Square #
Hop off it, me lad. We're home.
Out you go there.
Here's two quid, me lad,
and keep the change.
- Oh, bless you, governor.
- Ah, ah. No idolatry now. No idolatry.
- Here we go.
- Up you go there.
Easy does it. Now-
Oh, and don't forget these.
- Here you are.
- Bless you, governor, bless you.
Come on, darling.
Well, hello, Dexter, old boy.
I've been waiting for you.
Oh, I see. Dear, will you go on upstairs?
I'll be up in just a minute.
- Bart, what is it?
- Please, dear, will you go on up?
- But, Bart, I-
- Will you do as I say?
- I ought to tell her now. - Look, Dexter,
I'm going to fix this little matter up.
You bet your sweet life you're going to fix
this little matter up, and right away too.
- If you'll just let me tell you-
- Holy Moses, Bart.
Do you realize what
I come back from Europe to?
A couple of guys suing me,
and my furniture gone.
Fifteen thousand smackers'
worth of good furniture gone.
- But look, if you'll just-
- What kind of a way is that to behave?
- Selling a mars furniture? - But will
you let me explain? I was in a jam.
You in a jam? What about me?
What am I doing, sitting pretty?
- But it was serious, I tell you. - Well, if you
don't think this is serious, you're crazy.
Because you're still in a jam,
brother, believe you me.
Now look, cowboy,
if you'll just give me a little time I can-
The judge'll take care of that.
- Judge? - Yes. That's who
you're going to tell it to...
if I haven't got that 15,000 smackers
in my hand by tonight-
- And cash.
- Tonight?
Tonight. I've got a lawyer.
I know exactly what I can do.
And either I get that money tonight...
or tomorrow the papers will be full
of "Follies Star's Husband Goes to Jail...
- for Stealing a Mars Furniture. "
- You do that, you-
Keep back. Keep back.
I've got a gun in this pocket...
and I'm scared to death, so keep back.
Giddap, horse!
Take it or leave it, Mr. Smart Guy.
Either get me my dough,
or tell your wife to watch the papers.
- Bart, what is it?
- Nothing. Nothing, I told you.
- Go on to bed.
- Oh, but darling-
Will you leave me alone?
Keep out of things that don't concern you.
I'm sorry, honey.
It's all right.
I was just upset about a little
business matter, but it's not important.
Nothing's important but us.
You remember. Just us.
I tell you, Toby, this is the worst jam
I've ever been in in my life.
You don't realize
how important this is.
It doesn't matter
so much to me, but it's Rose.
That guy's not kidding.
He's going to court.
And if he does,
the newspapers'll murder her.
A Follies star's meat to those babies.
Don't you see?
I tell you, Toby,
you've got to let me see Lefty.
He's got to lend me some dough.
I- I'll pay it back.
I'll do anything he says,
but he's got to help me out.
I can't let this guy
crucify Rose like that.
I'll see what he says.
- And that's all I know.
- Aw, that's nothin', kid.
The guy probably got tied up somewhere
and couldn't make it, that's all.
Oh, I know, but I'm scared.
Ted, I'm scared.
He hasn't been out of line, has he?
I don't think so.
He says not.
Aw, Ted, he's been working hard.
I know he has.
But then, he doesn't tell me everything.
Oh, he's all right.
You're just borrowing trouble, that's all.
Yeah?
Yeah, she's here.
Take him.
- Bart.
- Hello, Rose.
I'm sorry, honey, but listen.
I'll meet you about 1:30
at the Far East Cafe.
Bart?
Bart.
- He hung up.
- So he hung up. So what?
So he's in a hurry.
- We're newspapermen, Miss Sargent.
- Can you give us a statement-
Just a minute, fellas.
What's the big idea?
- Do you mean to say you haven't seen
this early edition? - What happened?
Oh, Ted.
Your Honor, all the evidence
in this case...
proves these men to be guilty.
I ask you to take a look at them.
They're all desperate criminals.
With the exception of Clinton,
they all have long police records.
So until the State is ready to go to trial.
- I ask that they be held in the
highest possible bail. - But, Your Honor-
I am in perfect agreement with
the district attorney, gentlemen.
I set bail at $50,000
for each of these defendants.
- Take these men out.
- Yes, sir. Come on, get going.
Bart. Bart-
All right, let's go.
- That's Rose Sargent,
the Follies star. - Sit down, honey.
That's Bart Clinton, her husband.
- That's Rose Sargent.
- So what?
I'll be back in a minute.
Your Honor, who do I see
about putting up bail for Clinton?
You see, I had to have money-
Had to have it, or else.
So I went to see Lefty.
I didn't know anybody else that
might have that much money to lend me.
So he said yes.
He said yes, if I'd help him out
with this job.
But I had to do it.
What else could I do, honey?
I had to have the money.
Oh, Rose, I tried. Honest I did.
- I tried to keep out of it.
- Yes, I know.
And I still love you.
Don't you understand?
Then do me a favor, will you?
Leave. Go away.
Go away someplace before
I ruin your life as well as my own.
No. It's you and me.
Out of everybody in the world.
Us.
We'll get out of it all right.
We'll make them understand
just how it was.
But how could I stand it, Rose?
Be years and years.
Stone walls-
Iron doors for years.
I'd rather be dead.
Papers! State ready for Clinton Trial.
District Attorney to ask maximum
for Follies star's husband.
- Read all about it!
- What do they want from me?
They're driving me crazy, I tell you-
Everybody staring at me.
Fat, slobbery faces
everywhere I turn.
Dumb reporters-
"Do you still love him, Miss Sargent?"
Why, of course I love him.
Why shouldn't I love him?
What am I supposed to do, ditch him
because he's in trouble?
Now, take it easy, honey.
Nobody's saying you shouldn't love him.
What did I do? All I'm saying
is that we have a great new song-
A song Miss Sargent could sing
like nobody else in the world.
Mr Ziegfeld likes it.
Mr. Cotter likes it.
Oh, that's just what I mean.
Here I am, listening to
something about a new song.
I ought not to be
in the show at all.
Where I ought to be is with him-
All the time.
Aw, Ted, you know what I mean.
He's so miserable,
so unhappy.
Ted, you know him. You know how
licked he is. He won't ever go out.
He-He just sits at home and smokes
and stares at the floor.
Ted, I'll go crazy.
I can't stand it.
If they take him to Sing Sing,
I'll go out of my mind.
- I know I will, Ted. I know it.
- Now, now.
Duck.
- Come on, duck.
- What do you mean, duck?
- I'm this kid's manager. I want
to talk to her. - I'll handle it.
- Who's your pal, honey?
- Ted is.
Has he ever given you
a wrong steer?
- Never.
- Then listen to him.
Cut out all this talk about quitting.
Forget it.
You worked your way up to the top, and
you're gonna stay there, you understand?
- But Ted, listen-
- I know, I know.
I know all about it, so drop it.
- Now about the song-
- Go on.
- In the second place-
- What's the first place?
I'm giving you
the second place first.
You love Bart, don't you?
Hot or cold, rain or shine,
he's still the guy, right?
But now and then he gets
a little out of line.
He forgets to touch
all the bases, right?
Right.
But I can't help it, Ted.
Oh, I know
it doesn't make sense...
but with me it's like fever.
And how are you going to argue
yourself out of being sick?
But that's the way it is, isn't it?
- Yes, that's the way it is.
- Then tell it to him.
Tell everybody with this song.
Get up on the stage and say,
"Listen, world...
"I love this guy
from here to breakfast.
"You want to make
something out of it?
"He's tricky?
So all right, he's tricky.
"He's hurt me? So all right,
he's hurt me, and still so what?
"I don't love from here.
I love from here too...
"'cause I love the way
you babies are scared to love.
"Not because he shaves every day
or changes his shirt three times a week...
"or takes me to the movies every
Thursday night, but because when I love.
I love all over and from now on. "
Tell them that, do you understand?
Tell them that.
- Tell them that?
- Smack in their teeth.
And in the first place, baby, this is
your song. It was born just for you.
You sing it and they'll never
forget it, or you.
That's it, honey.
Come on.
- I don't want to go out there, Rose.
- But, darling, I want you to.
Can't you see I'm in no mood
to listen to a song?
I can't stop thinking
about tomorrow.
- I'd like to listen, Rose, but-
- Bart, the song is for you.
You've got to hear it.
It's important.
All right, honey.
Come on.
- Hold him here, will you?
- Uh-huh.
Darling, you stay here.
Oh, I'm sorry, Ted.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to do.
Skip it, that's all.
Skip it.
For the first time in my life...
it's- it's not easy to talk to you-
even to look at you.
But, honey, you didn't do it.
Oh, I know, but...
what he does to me I can stand...
but what he does
to a swell guy like you, well-
Well, that's different.
Stop worrying, will you?
I'll make it back some way.
But, baby, when I think
of the "Mammy" songs...
America's gonna have
to listen to from now on-
# Mammy #
# Mammy #
# The sun shines east
The sun shines west #
# I know where
I know where the sun shines best #
# Mammy #
# Mammy #
# My heartstrings are tangled around #
# Alabamy #
# I, I'm a-comin' #
# Sorry that I made you wait #
# I, I'm a-coming #
# I hope and trust
that I'm not late #
# Mammy #
# Mammy #
# I'd walk a million miles
for one of your smiles #
# My Mammy #
# Aw, Mammy #
Mammy!
My little Mammy.
# The sun shines east
The sun shines west #
# I know where
I know where the sun shines best #
# It's on my Mammy
I'm talkin' about #
# Nobody else's #
# My little Mammy #
# My heartstrings
are tangled around #
# Alabamy #
# Mammy
Mammy, I'm, I'm comin' #
# Oh, I hope I didn't
make you wait #
# Mammy, Mammy, I'm comin' #
# Oh, God I hope I'm not late #
# Mammy don't you know me #
# It's your little baby #
# I'd walk a million miles #
# For one of your smiles #
# My Ma, Mammy #
Come in.
Hello, kid.
- I'm sorry to bother you.
- It's no bother at all.
- What's the matter?
- Oh, it's Rose, Ted.
- Rose? What's wrong?
- You know what's wrong.
It was bad enough when he first left,
but now it's getting worse.
If she doesn't snap out of it,
she's liable to go crazy, Ted.
All she does is sit around
and stare out the window...
wondering where he is,
if he's cold or broke or hungry.
If she could only hear the guy was dead,
it would be better than this.
- Not knowing anything at all.
- Don't she ever go out with anybody?
Oh, no. Just the theater.
And that song-
Honestly, Ted, when she sings, it's like-
Oh, it's like taking her heart
in her two hands...
and just holding it
out in front of her.
I know. I heard her sing it
the other night.
- But what are we going to do, Ted?
- We gotta get her out of here.
Show or no show, we've got to get her
out of New York. Florida, Europe-
- I don't care where it is, just
so we get her away from here. - Oh-
Men! If any man so much
as looks at me, I'll kill him.
# It's cost me a lot #
# But there's one thing that I've got #
# It's my man #
# Cold and wet
Tired, you bet #
# But all that I soon forget #
# With my man #
# He's not much for looks #
# And no hero out of books #
# He's my man #
# Two or three girls has he #
# That he likes as well as me #
# But I love him #
# I don't know why I should #
# He isn't good #
# He isn't true #
# He beats me too #
# What can I do #
# Oh, my man #
# I love him so #
# He'll never know #
#All my life is just despair #
#But I don't care #
# When he takes me in his arms #
# The world is bright #
# All right #
# What's the difference if I say #
# I'll go away #
# When I know I'll come back
on my knees someday #
# For whatever my man is #
# I am his #
# Forever #
#More #
#Oh, my man #
# I love him so #
# He'll never know #
# All my life is just despair #
# But I don't care #
# When he takes me in his arms #
# The world is bright #
#All right #
# What's the difference #
#If I say #
#I'll go away #
# When I know I'll come back
on my knees #
#Someday #
# For whatever my man is #
# I am his #
# Forever #
# More #
Hello, cowboy.
Oh, hello, son.
I was hoping you'd come back.
There's, uh-
- There's one thing you can do for me,
if you will. - Yeah?
Is there, uh- Is there any way
you can keep her name out of it?
I understand.
I'll see what we can do.
Come on, son.
Albany local leaving at 12:15.
Yonkers, Tarrytown-
What's five years, darling?
Yes, it-
It isn't forever, is it?
All aboard.
Come on, buddy. Break it up.
We've gotta get out of here.
Nobody but us, honey.
Remember? Nobody but us.
- I'll be waiting, darling.
- Just us, darling. Remember?
It won't be long.
Just us, darling.
I'll be waiting, darling.
I'll be waiting.
I'll be waiting.
I'll be waiting.