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Royal Hearts (2018)
WOMAN: As Victor Hugo wrote,
"To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further." In sum, ladies and gentlemen, the customs and manners of the Regency period were exemplified and celebrated in Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Now it might seem quaint and old-fashioned, but Jane Austen's world was defined by civility. Social graces shaped society. And while you might not think it's relevant, the lessons of gentility and respect still have a place - [bell rings] - in the world today. Okay, well, that wraps it up for this quarter. I expect to have your final essays in my inbox at midnight tonight. [phone buzzing] Hey, Jazz, what's up? [chuckles] I'd love to, but I have plans. Yes, it's a date, a lunch date. Uh, well, I gotta go. Okay, take care. KELLY: I was born and raised here. Just been me and my dad. You know, it's funny. When I was a kid, I always wanted to be like him: a roper, a rider. But then I grew up, and I went away to college. Ta-da! Here I am, Assistant Professor Kelly Pavlik, Montana State University, with an invitation to lecture at Oxford next year, once I'm... done my doctorate. So, uh, you're a... You study a lot, right? Uh, that's one way of putting it. Very cool. I read stuff. You do? Oh, yeah, big reader. Captain Fantastic. Totally awesome. But not as much as Lizard Man. Lizard Man rocks. So you read comic books. Graphic novels. Yeah, but that's not-- Touchdown! Yes! Come on! ANNOUNCER: The ball was thrown behind him. Wow. That was really rude of me, and I'm sorry about that, Judy. I mean, I mean Kelly. Oh, sorry, did you wanna watch too? ANNOUNCER: Off the left side for three yards. So there I was, telling him my life story, and he didn't hear a word of it. Jerk. His loss. I thought so. Jasmine, you're my best friend. Tell me what it is I'm doing wrong. How about stop dating losers? Well, they can't all be losers. Maybe I should just stop dating. Oh, come on. The way I see it is you spend your time living in books, books that were written when chivalry was still a thing. So? I miss chivalry. Kelly, the kind of guy you're looking for doesn't exist anymore. There's gotta be some guy out there that's a lot less Lizard Boy and a little bit more Fitzwilliam Darcy. If you don't want to spend your life being constantly disappointed, you're gonna have to accept the fact that times have changed, and men have really changed. Never! Thanks for lunch. Ms. Kelly Pavlik, daughter of Henry Pavlik? - Yes. - Ah! Um... Grimsby's the name. I've been retained to locate your father, regarding a matter of great concern. You're looking for my dad, Hank Pavlik? Indeed, I am. Are you sure you have the right man? Oh, quite sure. It's vital that I speak with him in person, preferably, as soon as possible. Is he in trouble? No, madam. But it's vital. Positively vital. All right, come on in. - [cow moos] - [country] ZEKE: It ain't there, neither. Well, now I'm beginning to think maybe it was actually the filling station. You know the Big A, where I parked my car at. So I hike on down there and take a look-see, and what do you suppose I found? Nothing. It ain't there. I was going nuts, and I-- Looks like we got ourselves company there, Zeke. I think I'll head on down there and see who it is. Right in the middle of my story? It ain't finished. Well, I reckon you can finish your story by yourself. - Oh, and, Zeke. - Yeah? You took the pickup to town. That's why you couldn't find your car. Yeah, end of story. Believe me, I've been there, son. Done that. Man! Come on, Bear. Whoever said, "Money can't buy happiness," forgot about puppies, Bear. [engine starts] Word to the wise. This is a cattle ranch. You might wanna watch your step. A veritable minefield. How delightful. Hello, princess. Dad. Been a while. Not that long. Well, long enough. So what brings you out here? Dad, this is Mr. Grimsby. He's a solicitor. Solicitor, huh? What are you selling? I'm not selling anything. I trust you know what a solicitor is. Yeah, I do. Person who solicits. Dad, Mr. Grimsby is an attorney. Oh. Well, like I said, what can I do for you, Grimsby? I've been retained to bring you some rather momentous news. Due to the passing of a distant relative, you've inherited a substantial estate... in Merania. Never heard of it. Central Europe, a principality right next to Angosia. Merania, huh? What kind of a scam you running? I assure you, sir, it is not a scam. Okay, well, how much could I get for this sizeable estate, if I sold it? Why would you want to sell it? Well, I could use a new pair of boots, and the good ones, they don't come cheap. I'm afraid it's more complicated than that, Mr. Pavlik. You see, there's a title that comes with the property. And I'm supposed to be impressed with a title? Dad, forget about the title. You just need to go and sign some documents. In the presence of a judge. A judge in Merania, I presume. Yes, sir. I'll tell you what. I'll get back to you on that, huh? [laughs] Sir, I really must insist that-- No, don't worry about him. - [laughing] - This is what he does. I'll take care of it. Some people. KELLY: You're stubborn, Dad, you know that? Since Mom died, this place is your only life. There's nothing wrong with that. Do you really think this Grimsby guy's on the level? Oh, he showed me six different databases that document genealogy. Your great-great-great grandfather emigrated from Merania in 1793. He gave up everything to marry someone his family didn't approve of. Hmm. Oh, come on, Dad. It wouldn't hurt to go for a little bit. Everything I want is here. I got my dog, I got you. I don't want nothing. I'm happy. Dad, I was offered a teaching position at Oxford next year. What are you telling me? It's not permanent. At first, anyway. I'd be a visiting lecturer. But I could be moving to England for a while. You can't turn your back on family like that. I mean, Boston was bad enough, but England? I'm not turning my back on anyone, Dad. Okay? I'm just following my dreams. Things are different now. I never see you anymore, unless I come to the ranch, and then when I do come, you don't even act like you're interested - in anything I'm doing. - That's not true. What else would you want to talk about? There's so much we could talk about. Yeah, well, whatever happened to that girl who loves riding horses and roping cattle? Yeah, maybe she grew up. Maybe she wanted to get out and see new things and new places. See the world. So this place isn't good enough for you, huh? Why? Because I don't read fancy books or make the big money? I never said that. Well, that's what you meant. I guess I shouldn't even be surprised. Okay. Okay, I'll go! Huh. But I'm gonna miss my dog. Yeah, I'm gonna miss your bad breath a whole bunch, Bear. That's for sure. Ol' Hank loves his Bear dog. [sniffs] Oh, wow, somebody needs a bath. [train whistle blows] Look, Mom, John Wayne. Stop it! GRIMSBY: You made it! Excellent! I have the car waiting. KELLY: Oh. ANNOUNCER: Final boarding for train 313, departing for Merania. Wow! This is for us? HANK: Don't get all worked up, princess. My old pickup's more dependable than this rig. Let's just hope we don't have to get out and push her. GRIMSBY: Right this way, sir. [sheep bleating] MAN: Come on. Come on. Come on. - Come on. - [horn honks] Hey, what are you doing? You're scaring them. KELLY: Would you mind moving your sheep off the road? Yeah, no problem. Hyah! Come on, let's go! Oh, good grief. Let me do this. Excuse me. Okay, little buddies, let's go! Move it along. Whoo-hoo! Hyah! Come on! That's my girl, Grimsby. It's good to see she's still got it in her. [bleating continues] HANK: Nice job. Thanks, Dad. Thank you! Later! This is it, sir. Your estate, up there. That's not an estate. That's a-- A castle. We're gonna live in a castle? HANK: Vampires live in a castle. Dad! KELLY: Thank you. Oh, wow. [sniffs] Bit like Montana. This looks nothing like Montana. Well, it's smelling like Montana. What, am I wrong? This way, please. MAID: Welcome, Sire. Howdy. - Sir. - How you doin' there? Nice to meet you. Thanks for having us. - Sir. - Hello. - Much obliged. - Welcome, Sire. I'd like you to meet Miss Cecelia Petrov and Mr. Bosworth. They will be your private secretary and gentleman's gentleman while you are in residence. My what? Your butler, Your Majesty. What'd you call me? Your Majesty, Your Majesty. I'm sure you're eager to see your property. - That would be lovely. - This way, please. [claps] You wanna tell me what's going on here? As I hope I made clear, in addition to the estate, Sire, you've also inherited the title that comes with it. And though very few actual responsibilities are attached, there are a limited number of ceremonial duties you'll be required to fulfill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the title. So what's the title? You're the King of Merania, Dad. You knew about this, and you didn't say nothing? Would you be here if I did? Well, you know the answer to that. Grimsby, can we have a moment alone, please? Of course. [sighs] I'm sorry. - Boy, you better be. - [laughs] You want to tell me what's so funny? Since I was little, you've always had a nickname for me. - Really? Like what? - Princess! You always called me Princess. And now I am, I guess, but for real. I am not a king. I am a cowhand. And I don't belong here! Haven't you got sense to see that? What I see is that you're not even trying to make this work. I just got here, and already I miss my dog. Oh, here we go. You asked me to go on this trip, and I did, and now I'm going home, as soon as I can find this guy Grimsby to tell him I'm quitting and going to Montana. It's called abdicating, Dad. And before you do it, there is something you should know. This is where we are, Merania. We share a border here with Angosia. Centuries ago, both countries were one, ruled by a king, who had twin sons. He couldn't choose a successor between them, so he split Angosia in half. One got Angosia, and the other one got Merania. So what's any of this got to do with me? The division remains as long as there's a king on the Meranian throne. That's why they were so desperate to find you. When the last king died, you were the only living male heir. So if you abdicate, the country would lose its independence. Merania would then be ruled by King Nikolas of Angosia. Look, I'm sorry for your trouble, I am, but you got the wrong guy. My daddy was a ranchman, and so was his daddy. That's all we've ever been is cattlemen and horseshoers. So we'll be leaving first thing in the morning. Dad? Dad, stop. I know how you love your books and your stories. Well, that's all you got here, just another story. Don't you get it? Your roots, my roots, they're here. These people need you now. You don't know anything about these people. I know that they want their independence. Well, so do I. Oh, she's a feisty one, sir. Can I get you anything, sir? Fresh air. I'm going for a walk. - Excellent idea. - Alone, Bosworth. Oh, as you wish, sir. I hope it's to your liking, Your Grace. I don't like it. I love it. But I don't know how long I'll be staying. Is your father really leaving? I don't know. That's what he says. If I can speak plainly, it's so very important to all of us here to get him to change his mind. I'm gonna try. Well, let me know if you need anything. Thanks. Uh, Cece. Yes? I want to do research on Merania and the people here. Is there a library in town? Of course, but I think you'll find the palace library more to your liking. [gasps] [slow country] [cow moos] Well! Hello, girls! Ha! [regal] - [shrieks] - Careful! Thank you. Hey, I know you. You're the shepherd guy. Also the cow guy, the horse guy, and the all-around royal stable guy. I even have a name. I'm Alex. I'm Kelly. Yeah, Princess Kelly. I heard. Kelly is fine. So what brings a shepherd guy, cow guy, and all-around royal stable guy to a library? Well, I was just returning these. Before King Viktor died last year, he allowed me to borrow anything I wanted. Since then, I wasn't sure I would still be allowed. I'm sure it's okay. So you're not gonna send me to the dungeon? Not today. So, looks like you're reading some poetry. "Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within." Tennyson. Okay. It's not what I would expect from a stable boy. I can also quote a fair amount of Dr. Seuss, though, sadly, it doesn't impress anyone over the age of six. I'm more of a Jane Austen fan myself. Austen. That's not what I would've expected from a Montana ranch hand. I am not a ranch hand. - Whatever you say. - [scoffs] I don't need you to carry my books. But you're a royal princess, not a common stable boy like me. I didn't mean horsemen were common, just a little rough around the edges. Ah, and you don't like rough edges? Yeah, I think I will carry my own books, thank you very much. So what are you planning on doing with these? Well, if you must know, I am researching local history and culture. Ah, well, lucky for you, I'm an expert in both. I can show you or take you on a tour to see some of the local landmarks, if you like. Saddle up a couple of horses, ride out to-- No, no, no. I haven't ridden in years. Really? Why not? It's complicated. Well, I'm sure I can keep up. All right. When I was a kid, my father pushed me to become a ranch girl. I rode in competitions, barrel racing, that kind of thing. And then I just wanted something of my own, so I quit and never rode again. And I bet your dad didn't like that. I don't think he's ever forgiven me. He doesn't have to know. I'm sure you're pretty rusty. - Guess again. - Care to prove it? I don't have to prove myself to you or anyone. Of course you don't. But you don't want to humiliate yourself. I'm sure it was a long, long time ago. Not that long. Look, forget I said anything. Already forgotten. I mean, we wouldn't want you to strain anything royal. [scoffs] ALEX: So you coming? ALEX: Books can be a wonderful gift, but a ride through nature cures all. KELLY: This is... Wow. Jane Austen couldn't have put it more eloquently. It's beautiful. Yeah, it is, isn't it? We have incredible natural resources here. Lumber, ore. Those mountains are filled with copper and tin and a rare earth used in computers. It's like a postcard. It is. We were worried when King Nikolas was gonna take over, that things would change. Change how? King Nikolas likes to modernize and industrialize. But now your dad's here, we got nothing to worry about. Well, my dad's here now. I just need to convince him to stay. Why? Is there a problem? Well, the truth is, he doesn't feel like he belongs here. There's something I need to show you. [moos] Dad, we need to talk. What are you doing? Gate needed fixing. Well, what do you care, if you're leaving tomorrow? Something's broke, you fix it. That's right. - Come with me. - Hmm? Come on. These people here have a real problem, Dad, and it needs to be fixed, just like that gate out there. You can't fix everything for everybody. What is it that you always say? You never turn your back on family. I'm not turning my back on-- Meet King Henry the Brave, first king of Merania. And don't you dare tell me he doesn't look like part of our family. Hmm. Look, you don't need to stay here long, but long enough to knock some sense into King Nikolas of Angosia. What? Two weeks. Once it's done, I'm gone. BOSWORTH: Good morning, Your Majesty. Yes, your first appointment today is with Mr. Grimsby, a briefing. What kind of briefing? I believe it concerns your address to the Parliament Privy Council. What's that? The group of elected ministers who tend to government affairs. Anything else? No, no. Thanks, Boz. How wonderful. A nickname. ALEX: King Viktor was a good man, but he didn't know the first thing about farming. You know, I wanted you to know I can do more. You just say the word, and I'll be there. Well, I appreciate that. Oh, nice chair. But where do they put the couch? Ha! Yes. Alex was telling me he'd like to increase the number of sheep. Yes, well, very good. First things first. Your daughter's told me you're on board and ready to get down to business. Wait a minute. What exactly does that mean? Well, I had a great idea, Dad, and Grimsby agrees. I invited King Nikolas of Angosia to pay us an official visit. You'll be hosting him at a state dinner this evening. Well, then how about we make it a barbecue? - No! - No! Okay, so that's it? And we've prepared a small guest list. Is there anyone you'd like to include? Mm... Just my dog. [coughs] This afternoon, you will make an appearance with the Parliament Privy Council. Then we have the royal games, followed by the royal ball. Royal pain is what it is. You know why a dog is man's best friend? Because he wags his tail instead of his tongue. Stop it. - [Alex chuckles] - Don't encourage him. I didn't do anything. Look, Grimsby, about the meeting this afternoon, - I'm not sure I'm-- - Prepared? Of course not. How could you be? - Oh, good, then you'll-- - Write your remarks? Already done. I've worked hard to strike the proper tone. Do try to read it as written. The council doesn't care much for surprises. Hmm. [Hank mumbles] We'll get out of your way, give you time to prepare. I told you not to encourage him. - I'm not. - Why are you kissing up to him? I wasn't. Look, we're just kindred spirits. KELLY: You know, he needs to behave like a king. And you worry too much. Now you're starting to sound just like him. And is that so bad? Yes. [regal] [chuckling] Off with their heads! [chuckles] - Uh, sir, sir. - Hmm? I'm afraid the west wing has been avoided for years. Would you like me to kick the door in? I've seen it done in American action movies. It looks rather exciting. No, I appreciate the offer. I'm just snooping around. Oh, well, feel free to snoop, Sire. Yeah, can you tell me why it's all closed off like that? Yes. Cost-cutting. The monarchy lacks the necessary funds to maintain the property, so it's rather dank down there. So I guess that explains all the repair that needs doing around here. Not to worry. The Parliament Privy Council expects to raise all the taxes to cover the expense. It's all in your speech. Doesn't seem fair, folks having to pay for a house they don't even live in. Why, it's the way it's been done for centuries, sir. Tell me, Boz, that grassland behind the castle, do we own all that? Oh, yes, does indeed, all the way to the base of the mountains. Hmm. [engine starts] - Good luck with your meeting! - Piece of cake. Just please don't start a revolution. [laughs] In you go, come on. Come on, around you go. - There you go. - What's her name? This is Nellie. She's expecting, isn't she? That's not bad for someone who's not a cowgirl anymore. Hey, if you give her one of these, she'll be your friend for life. So, um, I'm just gonna say it. I'm sorry for the thing yesterday. What thing? Just being, uh, swotty. I'm sorry. I'm just not usually such a-- Princess? [horn honks] Oh, no. King Nikolas is here, and he's early, and I am not ready. King Nikolas. [chuckles] You must be Princess Kelly. Your Grace, may I present King Nikolas of Angosia. It's so nice to meet you. - [kiss] - I'm sorry. I didn't expect to-- I thought-- [laughs] I hope you're not disappointed. No, Your Majesty. So I meet with your approval? Yes, Your Majesty. Oh, please, Your Majesty was my father, and I'm Nikolas. And I clearly don't know what I'm doing. Neither do I, most of the time. Um... [laughs] I'm sorry. I didn't have a chance to change before you got here. Oh, you look perfectly fetching in straw. I'm sure you'd love to go to your room, freshen up, relax. Sounds brilliant. I'll show you the way. We have tea in the drawing room at three. Well, until then. GRIMSBY: Lords and ladies, may I present to you His Royal Majesty, King Henry of Merania. Here's the deal, fellas. I'm supposed to stand up here and pretend to make nice so that you don't mind when I ask you to raise taxes, so I can do repairs and pay some bills on that castle up there. Well, to me, that just don't seem fair. I was raised to pay my own way. Okay, here's my idea. You get me a few head of cattle, and I'll turn this royal spread into a real working cattle ranch. It's not gonna be a problem to turn a profit pretty quick. [laughter] Correct me if I'm wrong, Your Majesty, but wouldn't it be less work to simply raise the taxes? Uh, less work ain't the point. And who would oversee such an operation? You're looking at him. Well, an admirable plan, Your Majesty, but we will still need to do a study. Let me put this another way. You can either give me a few head of cattle, or I head back to Montana, and you all can start learning how to speak Angosian. Your choice. [clears throat] Very well. Then all in favor of establishing a royal spread, say aye. ALL: Aye! [Hank grunts] [knocking] Come in. You wanted to see me? - Yes, I have an emergency. - Oh! Not an emergency-emergency. It's a wardrobe emergency. You see, I brought some things with me, but nothing I could really wear to the state dinner or the royal ball, and I really want to make an impression on King Nikolas. I took the liberty of reaching out to our couturier. Cece, you are a total genius. It's a special occasion. Follow me. Do you think I could... Of course you can. [laughs] I think this one is good for the state dinner, but I don't know that there's one for the royal ball. Oh, there is one more. Well, I feel like celebrating. What would you say to us grabbing a nice cold beer? Cold, you say? Mm-mm. With your permission, Sire, we'll wait in the car. Okay. I was hoping for a cold beer. Keep hoping. Let me know if it gets any colder. You're not from around here. You think? You're a local? Montana. Originally, Abilene. Sorry, the refrigerated keg isn't working. Can't get a repairman to show up. I'm pretty good at fixing things. Maybe I can help. So how'd you end up so far away from home? I like castles, so I came to see some. Next thing you know, I met a guy, and we started a family. And never left. You talking about me or the guy? 'Cause he's long gone. And the kids are all back in the States for school. So what's keeping you here? I've been wondering that myself. There's talk we might all become part of Angosia. And if that doesn't happen, we've gotta deal with some whack job who thinks he's a king. A whack job, huh? Certifiable is the word. Your Majesty! [chuckles] Your Majesty? Boy, are you in the wrong place. Right here, Boz. And it's Hank, certifiable as can be. BOSWORTH: We must leave now if you don't wish to be late for the state dinner. Looks like I gotta run, but your tap ought to work fine now, cool down real good. Shame about that fancy dinner, Montana. I was just thinking about asking you to stay for supper. I'll take a rain check on that. And the name's Joan, in case you're interested. Joan. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, take it. You better deal with it. Uh, I am so, so sorry. We're trying to close a deal on a manufacturing contract. Electronics, communications, they're the future for Angosia. Oh, you don't need to apologize to me. You're the king, for heaven's sake. Who is honored by your presence and humbled by your beauty. I hope you're enjoying the tea. It's splendid, but then again, Meranians are famed for their gracious hospitality. Yes, they are. I mean, we are, since I'm a part of they. That means I'm we-- [laughs] I'm sorry. I'm still so new to this. Yeah. [laughs] You're a natural. Thank you for saying that. Well, it's true. So, um, when do I get to meet His Royal Highness, your father, the king? He's at a meeting with the Privy Council, but he should be back soon. So perhaps before the state dinner this evening? - [wood clattering] - Yes, yes. - Yes, perhaps, but, uh... - [distant chatter] - Every eight feet! - Put that pole there! But not likely. The king's schedule is full, as most kings' schedules are. I don't need to tell you that. But he is looking forward to, uh... the dinner tonight. Which reminds me, I have many things that I need to do beforehand, and I am rambling. It's perfectly charming. So until then. Until then, it is. All right, we need to get that pole there. Dad? There. What are you doing? I got this whole field to fence in. - We got a lot of cattle coming. - You're a royal now. You need to start behaving like one. - King Nikolas is here. - All right. We need a corner there, every 10 feet. And he's asking for you. You need to clean up, change and get ready for the dinner tonight. Okay, I'll be there. Now get the barbed wire and the Cumalong. Let's come down here and work. ALEX: Hey, princess. How was King Nikolas? Handsome, refined, polished. Oh, yeah? So none of those annoying rough edges. Hmm, none of them. So Nellie was disappointed you had to run off so soon. Well, maybe I'll come see her after the dinner tonight. I don't know. She's got a pretty busy schedule. Well, I can get her a carrot from the kitchen. Now you're talking. Hey, Kelly, just be careful. What's that supposed to mean? King Nikolas is charming, and he's a king. From what I've seen, he always gets what he wants. Well, what makes you think he wants me? I was talking politics. - I knew that. - Yeah. [scoffs] Yeah. I, uh, want to welcome our guests from Angosia and give blessing to this feast. Good bread, good meat. Good Lord, let's eat. Nobody's eating. Pick up your fork. Hmm? Oh. Well, I'm glad you could join us, Nik. Thank you, Your Majesty. I really admire your father. He's a man of the, um, people. That, he is. Must've come as some surprise to him to be king, as it did to us. A good surprise, I hope. Excuse me? Well, if Grimsby hadn't located my dad, you would be the king of Merania as well as Angosia. I hope you're not too disappointed. Well, to be quite frank with you, I'm relieved. If your father hadn't shown up, then I wouldn't have met you. And that would've been greatly disappointing. Escargot, sir. Fresh garden snails. Hey, there. I thought you had a state dinner. Did I hear you say something about supper? You did. Pastrav somonat. - Rainbow trout to you and me. - Mmm! Fresh catch of the day. - Mm! - Fit for a king? Mmm! Only way this fish would be fresher is if I caught it myself. Then you're gonna have to come fly fishing with me sometime. Oh? I'd like that. So I hear you're a scholar. I have my master's in English literature. Which means you're smart as well as beautiful. I don't know about that. I'm trying to get my doctorate. So what does the budding doctor, Princess Kelly of Merania, like to do in her free time? I like to read, the Regency period, most of all, because they had a certain, um, civility back then that I appreciate. Good manners greases the wheels of society. That is so true. Though, back then, an unmarried lady would never, ever be seen in the company of a gentleman without a chaperone. Well, I suppose it's okay to break a few rules every now and again. Speaking of breaking the rules, I think we should talk about the monarchy. The thing about having to have a male heir on the throne is a little ridiculous, don't you think? Well, I suppose when everyone is reasonable, everything works out without worry, not at all. And besides, too lovely an evening to talk about politics, especially when I'd much rather talk about you. I don't think she's coming, Nellie. [mooing] HANK: They're comin'. Sure could use the help of a good cow dog now. Now you're talkin', son. [mooing continues] Oh, I meant to ask you. I saw Kelly on a horse the other day. How'd you do that? Wasn't a problem. You know, she loves horses. Could've fooled me. Figured I'd never see her ride again. Kinda thought we didn't have much in common anymore. You know, it might be that maybe if you shared her interests, the two of you would have more to talk about. I have to say I'm impressed with your operation. We expect to be the region's biggest supplier of beef. I'll give you some pointers, help you start an operation of your own, if you want. That's very kind, but right now my country's more focused on industrial development. We're actually bidding on a major contract with a new telecommunications manufacturer. Well, congratulations. But cattle's a good business. - Yeah, uh... - [phone ringing] actually speaking of which, I have to take this. - Will you excuse me? - Uh-huh. So how was the state dinner? It was fine. Oh, my gosh. I forgot to go see Nellie. Maybe I can go see her now? It's gonna cost you a carrot. Hmm. I think I can make that work. Come on then. Uh, where are you going? Oh, we're just gonna go to the stables. Uh, yeah, that's gonna have to wait. I'll call you back. Um, we've got plans. We do? I... - I'm sorry. I didn't know. - Don't worry about it. You don't mind, do you? Not at all, Your Majesty. Your daughter seems quite taken with King Nikolas. Yeah. Sir? Man's all hat and no cattle. Oh, my gosh. My lady. Thank you. Where are we going? Now, that's a surprise. [clears throat] Pride and Prejudice, Your Grace. Hmm. I'm told by Miss Cece that it's one of Princess Kelly's favorites. Mm-hmm. And I also overheard the suggestion young Alex made to you regarding the importance of sharing one's daughter's interests. You're starting to get on my nerves, Boz. Many apologies, sir. I hear it quite a lot. Mm-hmm. NIKOLAS: It's a beautiful day. KELLY: Beautiful. NIKOLAS: I used to ride here when I was a boy. Now close your eyes. Now give me your hand. Little step down, little step down. Okay, now mind another step coming now. Can I open my eyes now? Not yet. Okay. Open them. [gasps] You haven't said nothing for the last half hour. And? Do I need to? Well, it is a rare moment. [laughing] You know why a dog is man's best friend? Yeah, I do. [laughs] To us. To Merania and Angosia. No, no, no. To us. [clink] - Please, have a seat. - Oh. So how's your father adjusting to his new life? He's adapting. I heard you almost headed home. Oh, I think the crown fits like a new pair of cowboy boots. When you first put them on, it feels stiff. But once you break 'em in, you never wanna take 'em off. So that means I might be seeing a lot more of a certain beautiful young lady. I'm sure you have plenty of admirers to occupy your time. I'm sure you have just as many. Not really. No one special. Well, then I propose another toast. To finding someone special. [clink] - Hey. - Hey. Tractor's gonna make life a lot easier around here. Yeah, I was thinking of clearing that field out behind the pond. Yeah, I'll give you a hand. KELLY: You guys look busy. Do you need a shovel to lean on? Look, we got a lot of work ahead of us. But you had time to go fishing. What, I like to fish. And with company. Who told you that? The walls have ears. Oh, Boz. You can't get angry that he told me. Yeah, why not? 'Cause I forced it out of him. So who's the lucky lady? You can go anytime now. Fine. I'm really happy for you, Dad. What? We just went fishing, that's all. Then why keep it a secret? Well, okay, I thought you might not approve. Dad, I think it's great. You need to get out there again. Oh, you do, do you? Yes, I do. In fact, I think you should invite your fishing buddy to the royal ball. She wouldn't mix well with this crowd. Neither do you! It doesn't matter who she is. All that matters is she makes you smile once in a while. Yeah, well, don't make more out of this than there is. I'm not. What are you reading? Hmm? Oh, uh, nothing. A cookbook for trout fishing. Okay. Mm-hmm. So that it? You have to change for the royal games. - Oh, I'm not going. - You have to. I'm the king! I don't have to do nothing! You can be as stubborn as a badger sometimes. Spoken just like my farm-raised little girl. - You are impossible. - I'll tell you what. Life can be easier if you just plow around the stumps. Whoa. I never realized how much attention you get when you're royalty. It can be a bit of a fishbowl. But the trappings of being a royal, they don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. What really matters is finding someone special to share it with. Someone who doesn't take it for granted. My lady. Aww! Thank you. These are beautiful. [phone buzzing] Duty calls. Will you excuse me? Of course. I didn't expect to see you here. Your dad gave me the day off. So you know how to use one of these? I actually was in the archery team at Oxford. Wait a sec. You went to Oxford? Yup. Not bad for someone who mucks out stalls, right? You went to Oxford, and you didn't tell me? You never asked. - Really? - Mm. So how'd you wind up working here at the stables? Well, my dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps, study economics, law, politics. Just wasn't for me. So now I'm studying to be a vet, and I finish in spring. He's never forgiven me since, to be honest. I do know the feeling. So do you want to have a go? What? Do you want to give it a go? The archery. - Oh, uh, sure. - Okay. - Done this before? - No. All right, come on. Stand sideways to the target. Okay. Sight the target. Sight the target and release. - Oh, yes! - [cheers, applause] Not bad. Oh, you think you could do better? [scoffs] Watch and learn. Do you mind? Yeah, of course. MAN: All right, you can do it! [cheering] That's how it's done. Come on, let's go. [cheering] CECE: So how were the games? Alex taught me how to shoot a bow and arrow. I thought you went with Nikolas. I did. I see. What does "I see" mean? It means you have multiple suitors. Alex isn't a suitor. He's just Alex. Should I put my hair up or down? [knocking] A gift for Princess Kelly, with King Nikolas' compliments. Thank you. Speaking of multiple suitors. What do you think that is? Do you think it's real? Well, let's see. He's a king, so I'm guessing it's not cubic zirconia. [laughs] Should I wear it? I think that's the idea. Here. Wow. It's beautiful. [waltz] You're not so bad at this. Well, I'd rather be fishing than mashing your toes. Yeah, me too. But I have to say, you clean up okay. So do you. Hey, Joan. Hey, what are you doing in a monkey suit? Castle's on a budget. We all pitch in. Well, make yourself useful and get me a beer, cold. Oh, and, waiter, make it two. Yeah, Hank, Your Majesty. Yeah, I'd rather have a beer. I don't really like champagne. - [fanfare] - Her Royal Highness, the Princess Kelly! [fanfare continues] "She walks like beauty in the night." Shakespeare said it best. - You look stunning. - Thank you. Actually, it was Byron. I think you'll find it was Shakespeare. No, he's right. It was Byron. "And all that's best of dark and light meet in the aspect of her eyes." [Nikolas clears throat] I see you got the little gift I sent you. Indeed, I did. And? It's beautiful and too much. Way too much. No, it doesn't even begin to do you justice. - [waltz] - Shall we? I'd love to. Prince Nikolas is quite the dancer. Oh, yeah. Man's got all the moves. Can I be totally honest with you? Why I hope you're always honest with me. When I found out that the new king of Merania had a daughter, I wasn't sure I wanted to meet you. You weren't? [applause] I wasn't sure what to expect, but then I saw you running up from the stables with the hay in your hair, and you were so adorable. You don't have to say that. No, I know you're right, but... Look, Kelly, I didn't come to Merania to fall in love or find a bride. But the truth is, you are the most enchanting lady I have ever seen. And I'm sure that Byron or Shakespeare could say it better than I, but, well, if you would do me the favor of merely considering the suggestion of a proposal of marriage, I would be greatly, greatly honored. Look, I know this is going rather fast, but, well, you could grow to love me. Tell me you'll think about it. I-I don't know. I would do everything in my power to make you the happiest woman in the world. Wow. That is so sweet. So will you at least consider it? I-I guess. Of course I will. Excellent. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. May I have your attention, please? I have some wonderful news. I am delighted to announce that Princess Kelly has agreed to consider my proposal to unite our countries through a royal marriage. - [applause] - MAN: Hear, hear! WOMAN: Cheers! MAN: Well done! MAN: Congratulations! WOMAN: Absolutely wonderful! You're not gonna toast the happy couple? I'm not thirsty. KELLY: Hey, Nellie. How you doing, girl? ALEX: My guess is she's gonna deliver in the next day or two. You'll let me know when it happens, won't you? Yeah, of course. You're up early. I wanted to say hi to Nellie before Nikolas and I ride out. Oh, you going anywhere interesting? No. Just a little ride out in the country. I'm not sure King Nikolas does a simple little ride in the country, but-- He's a lot more down to earth than you think. So I guess I should congratulate you on the engagement. Nikolas and I are not engaged. Well, let me see. He asked you to marry him, and you didn't say no. He just suggested it. He didn't officially ask me. - And I didn't say anything. - Well, why not? It seemed like he very officially asked. I didn't know what to say, and I wasn't gonna embarrass him in front of everyone. - What was I supposed to do? - Well, you got a nice necklace. It was a gift, not an engagement ring. Right. You know, Nikolas is a very generous man, a little impulsive. Sounds like he's straight out of one of your books. There's nothing wrong with that. Hey, whatever makes you happy. I'm very happy. And to quote Elizabeth Bennet, "I am one of the happiest creatures in the world." I'm glad to hear it. You look totally radiant this morning. Thank you. Are the horses saddled? Yes, they are. They're outside. Thank you. Truly my pleasure. Your Majesty. Hmm. They're beautiful. Yup, and temperamental. Like all beautiful creatures. Shall we go? I want to give you a tour of the castle when we get back. Allow me, Your Grace. Anything else I can do? No, you've done quite enough already. [clears throat] I hate to disturb you, but your ranch hand is here to speak to you. Yeah, send him in. Brought you the cost report on the cattle. Have a seat. - We're under budget. - Uh-huh. You want to tell me the real reason why you came all the way up here? All right. I'm not sure I trust Nikolas. And he's definitely not good enough for your daughter. Amen on that. Yeah, my gut tells me there's a whole lot more going on here. My pappy used to say, "Your gut always knows before your head figures it out." Hank, Your Majesty, do you think it would be disrespectful if I made some discreet inquiries about Nikolas? Hmm, son, nothing's disrespectful about the truth. In fact, right now you can be as disrespectful as you want, as far as I'm concerned. Meanwhile, I'll see what I can find out. Okay. - Ah, Bosworth? - Sir. You never heard this conversation. What conversation? Alex... don't give up. Right this way. This is my favorite room. And right here is Henry the Brave. His motto was "Always follow your heart." And you should listen to him. I'm trying. It's just... Things are happening a little too fast. Well, how long did it take Cinderella to fall in love with her Prince Charming? Well, that was a fairy tale, Nikolas. This is real life. Sometimes real life can have the sweetest of fairy tales. [door opens] I-I'm so sorry to intrude. It's Nellie. The foal is coming. - Now? - Right now. I am so sorry. Something's come up. I'll finish the tour later. [horse neighing] Am I too late? No, no, you're just in time. [whinnies] But the vet's delayed. I might need your help. Oh, no, you can handle it. ALEX: I mean, you could do it. No, I'll talk you through it. - You're gonna do fine, son. - All right. When you're searching for answers, the only way to look is up. What happened to Princess Kelly? Apparently, there was some sort of barnyard emergency. IVAN: Nikolas, are you sure a proposal of marriage is a good idea? Arranged marriages have allied countries for centuries, my friend. And Kelly is a lovely woman. Quite teachable. [squeaks] KELLY: It really is such a miracle. - [horses whinny] - Yup. You did good, son. I couldn't have done it without you. Yeah, you could. But listening to advice from some galoot with more experience never hurt anyone, right? - Are you talking to me? - 'Course not. I'm just saying that every new child comes with the guarantee that God is never discouraged. Well, I got work to do. She is so beautiful. Yes, she is. [horse whinnies] Do you mind if I stay here a while? Yeah, stay as long as you like. [whinnying continues] [horse whinnies] KELLY: Look at her go. She's amazing, eh? So beautiful. Any word yet? I'm working on it, Your Majesty. Tried to call... What's his name, Zeke? - Hmm. - Several times. Yeah, well, keep trying. A man can't think straight when his dog is sick. [chuckles] - Ten minutes. - Hey, Nick. Have a seat. Uh, I have a call with my minister of finance in 10 minutes. Nice! Won't take just a minute. [horse neighs] Hey! Yeah, she's been down at the stable with Alex since the crack of dawn. I'm not sure I understand why there's such a fuss about a horse. Really? Well, we're simple folk. We get worked up about simple things. And if you ask me, animals are God's gift. Yeah, yeah, so what is it you wanted to speak to me about? Well, where I come from, a gentleman usually asks a father's blessing before he proposes to a young lady. Ah. Well, I apologize for the impropriety, but I assume you approve. Well, if you'd asked me like you were supposed to, I might've told you that my daughter is a handful with her fancy ideas and thick books. And it's only gonna get worse when she gets her doctorate and heads off to teach at some fancy university. Yeah, well, she'll be queen, so she won't need to do that. Well, she doesn't take too well to being told what she can and can't do. Look, I understand your concern, but, uh... I assure you I can handle your daughter. Well, sounds like you got it all figured out. All the answers. You know, I always believed that there were no dumb questions, but the world sure is full of dumb answers. [chuckles] She'll learn. And I promise you I will take good care of her. Can I ask you something? Are you humbly grateful or grumbly hateful? [chuckles] - [horse whinnies] - Huh. You gonna tell me what's bothering you? I never miss a good chance to shut up. - [scoffs] - What? - I didn't say nothing. - You didn't have to. Go talk to your daughter. I don't know what to say. You'll figure it out. Hank, listen to me. When my son left for the States, there were so many things I wanted to say to him, so much advice I wanted to give him, but I didn't do it. Now he's all grown up and long gone. Now, Joanie, listen to me. I'm hearing you, but... do you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's ear, he gets mad, but then you put him in the car, and he sticks his head right out the window? Well, that's what I'm facing here. And I'm hearing you, Hank. But just go talk to her, while you still can. You think? I do. [plop] Now, how did I know you'd be here? I'm doing some research on Angosia, so that Nikolas and I have something to discuss. Uh-huh. Ever since you were a kid, you'd hide in a book, especially when the going got tough. The going isn't tough. Well... Can I say something? You know, ever since King Nikolas announced his big engagement plans, you've been jumpier than a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs. Funny, Dad. Can I give you some advice? - I really wish you could. - Well, just listen to me. You can't live your life following a writer's fantasy. Life just doesn't work that way. You gotta find your own story. What do you feel in here? That's poetic for a cowboy. Right out of that book of yours. - Which one? - That Pride and Prejudice book. You read it? Pride and Prejudice. Every little tidbit of it. And that fella, with all his daughters, didn't pull any punches. He didn't like when he found out his sweet baby was gonna get hitched to somebody she didn't love, so he just went right out and told her straight out that he'd never forgive her if she went through with it. I didn't say I would go through with it. Well, that's good to hear because you're not in love with that King Nik. Nikolas! He prefers "Nikolas." And he is very generous. I don't give a hill of beans what he prefers. Somebody gives you something for nothing, that's about all it's worth. And you, you're smack in love with somebody else. No, I'm not. Look, I know you're trying to help, but I don't think it's appropriate for you to be telling me who I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with. Ooh, that's not a very good poker face. Okay, I really don't need the cowboy wisdom right now. All right. I'll get out of your way. - But just do me this one thing. - What's that? Don't ever be as stubborn as your old man. You'll always be my princess. But there's two kinds of royal. Don't you ever forget that. - Dad? - Hmm? Thanks for the talk. Yeah. Here you are. These are for you. Thanks. I love daisies. How'd you know? Uh, I know you better than you think. Bosworth? It's what servants are for. So, um, I take it you've been considering things. Well, it's a lot to consider. I'm gonna need some more time, Nikolas. Time? For what? Time to finish my dissertation, for one thing. I have to get my doctorate. Why would you bother with that when you're going to be queen? Because I have to follow my own heart. It's a family trait. You don't really believe all these... sentimental platitudes, do you? King Henry was a good man with a kind heart, and it's what makes my dad great too. It doesn't mean they can't function or make good and strong decisions. It makes them impractical and foolish. Well, I guess my family's impractical and foolish just like me. The lost sheep of the family, is that what you are? You did not just say that, did you? Look, all I'm saying is... you have the chance to bring your country into the modern world. Uniting Merania and Angosia and ruling them together makes sense. We make sense. It makes sense on parchment paper, but I'm not gonna give up who I am. But don't you see? You're not giving anything up. By marrying me, you're becoming who you were always meant to be. No, I'd be becoming who you want me to be. And? Is that so bad? Nikolas, you are very sweet, and I know that you will one day find your queen, but I am afraid that it's not gonna be me. You don't mean that. I mean that with all of my impractical and foolish heart. Do you know what? If you don't marry me, then I can't dissolve the treaty. Oh! Even if it's the right thing to do? No. I have a duty to my people. Even if it means not going in good conscience? You do realize your true colors are showing. And you do realize that once your father finishes his charade of playing king, then Merania, all of it, will belong to Angosia. Do you understand that? If you're trying to convince me to reconsider marrying you, you're not doing a very good job. No, I'm trying to convince you that you're making the biggest mistake of your life. And I am glad it's mine to make. [horse neighs] Nikolas is leaving now. Yeah, I heard. Things didn't end well between us. Didn't much expect they would. Hey, sorry to interrupt. I've just spoken to an old friend of mine from Oxford. He's told me something I think you're gonna find very useful. KELLY: Excuse me! Aren't you gonna say goodbye? I think that everything that needs to be said has already been said. Oh, now, don't be so sure of that. You leaving so soon? I have a meeting to get to. I really have to go. I think you should tell us the real reason you were in such a rush to get engaged. I thought I was in love, but apparently it takes two. That's not the real reason. Believe what you want. Can I tell you what I believe? I believe that your country is about near bankrupt. That's outrageous. Where'd you hear such a thing? I got my sources. My sources are telling me that landing those contracts you're bidding on are real important to you. You need factories and jobs if you're not gonna go belly up. But the problem is those contracts you been bidding on and losing are because you don't have the raw materials, like I do back in these mountains here. And that's why you're in such a rush to waltz my daughter down the aisle. Look, Kelly, the truth is you're a perfectly lovely lady. But I don't need you. Once your father tires of playing king, all this, everything, will belong to me anyway. But by then, it'll be too late. You'll already have lost the contracts. HANK: Now the way I see it, you're sitting between a rock and a hard place right now, unless you and I do some real horse trading. Horse trading? - Mm-hmm. - What His Majesty is proposing is if you guarantee Merania's independence from Angosia once and for all, then he'll grant you the lease to the mineral rights on those mountains. HANK: Or I could get coronated today, just so you won't get nothing for a very long time. You're bluffing. Oh, yeah? Then call my bluff. Now that's good horse trading. I have to think about it. Well, thinking about it just cost you 15% of the profits from the contracts. You really are your father's daughter, aren't you? You bet I am. Come on, Nicky boy. Let's just do this and be done with it, hmm? And I'll buy you a nice, new pair of boots. How's that? So we got ourselves a deal or not? Deal. [Hank chuckles] Deal. It's an unusual proposal. It guarantees Merania's independence from Angosia once and for all. And that means you won't be needing a king anymore. Are you suggesting we dissolve the monarchy? You do catch on quick. The castle and the land would still belong to the royal family, of course. But the power would be transferred to the Privy Council. And you're all invited out to my place for a big barbecue celebration. Uh... Deal or not? As delightful as that sounds, Merania's never been without a king. History has proven that self-government is a preferable alternative to the monarchy. What Oxford here is saying is you boys would be able to handle the country on your own, unless you want me to stick around and call the shots. Well, I suppose we can muddle on through without you, Your Grace, though we would like you to serve in an advisory capacity. Well, I have to get back to you on that. But I got one more question. What are you waiting for? Well, all in favor of the King's proposal, say aye. ALL: Aye. The motion to dissolve the monarchy has carried. Now, if you will excuse me, I got some fences to fix. Well, I suppose my son's rather expensive education has finally paid off. Son? You didn't tell me that old buzzard was your father. Guilty as charged, I guess. No! Why didn't you tell me? Didn't want you to hold it against me. As you say, don't go looking for trouble as you'll get your fair share in life as it is. Mm-hmm. That's for sure. Swing your partner There she goes Swing her high and swing her low Now promenade around the floor That's all there is There ain't no more - Hey! - [country music continues] I love happy endings. Even though you didn't wind up with your handsome prince? Apparently the handsome prince wasn't exactly who I thought he was. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm not. Alex, remember the other day when you asked me if I was happy? The truth is I was happy watching that foal come into the world, and I'm happy studying and teaching and reading. I don't want to give up who I am to be something else. And you shouldn't. I would never let you. That's what I admire most about you. You're always true to yourself. Even though your dad is the chancellor? Yeah, I should've told you. I'm glad you didn't. So what would Jane Austen say? I think she not only would approve, but she'd write about us. WOMAN: Over here! Over here! I gotta take care of something. Be right back. Okay. [country music continues] So now that you're gonna gonna be royalty anymore, I suppose you could be headed home. I don't know. They want me to stick around a bit as their advisor, but-- But the more I get to know people, the more I miss my dog? Yeah, something like that. You know, the best therapist has fur and four legs. - [laughs] - It's true. I know, I know. Thank you. Nice party. Wait till you try one of these steaks. Mmm! Smells great. Dad, I... I know I don't always listen to your cowboy wisdom, but the truth is sometimes I just need it. Thanks for always being there for me. You know, somebody very wise once said, "You don't turn your back on family." No, you don't. Come here, princess. [horn honks] Ah, and speaking of family. [barks] - Bear? - [barking continues] - No! - Mm-hmm. No! Really? [barking] [laughing] Oh, yeah. Good job, partner. Bosworth was having some trouble with the red tape, so I pulled a few strings. You really might be a prince. I think you are. More of a cowpuncher. Okay, that works. So you think you could be happy hanging out with a cowpuncher? Well, I was raised by one. You wanna go muck out some stalls? That sounds very romantic. Oh, you want romantic? How's this? [country music continues] KELLY: Well, Dad, Joan, and Bear went back home to Big Sky Country, while Alex and I stayed on to raise Nellie's foal. Then in the springtime, they all returned to Merania for our royal cowboy wedding. [cow moos] |
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