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Saaya (2003)
Your eyes...
my eyes Your forehead... your nose Your lips My heart, your brains No... not your brains. Youre a duffer All right. Your heart. And your brains. Okay? Listen... What? What will we name our son? Son? No son, l want a daughter. Why? Just like you But l want sons after that, okay? Want to know how many? Lets settle for a dozen Twelve! My companion... my love... for the first time, my eyes see Spring like this What spell does the lovely weather cast...? you have stolen my heart, my love For the first time, my eyes see Spring like this What spell does the lovely weather cast...? you have stolen my heart, my love l was thirsty at heart... and l drank the sea in a single gulp ln just a matter of moments... in just a day or two... l have lived the lifetime of a hundred years This is the first time l see life so clearly... the lovely weather, this moment of ecstasy... what spell has the weather cast on me? You have stolen my heart, my love Maya... What happened, Maya? lm afraid... what if something happens to you? To me...? Silly girl. Whats going to happen to me? No power on earth can separate us Roses, l saw blossoming... but even thorns blossom today People, l saw meeting... l see the earth and the skies meeting today For the first time, l have begun to trust my life... This lovely weather, this ecstatic moment... what spell has the weather cast...? You have stolen my heart, my love For the first time, my eyes see Spring like this What spell does the lovely weather cast...? you have stolen my heart, my love This is Dr Akash Bhatnagar. My wife is trapped in the floods lts your duty to... We cant do anything about it We really dont have any transport There are landslides everywhere out there But you can surely do something! My wife is a doctor and she has herself volunteered. lts your duty... l know all that, sir. But we dont have any transport lve heard it all! Please dont keep repeating it Our soldiers are posted there, sir There must be a phone there surely? Where are you? lm worried sick looking for you Neither do l know where l am lm some 40 kilometers away from the base camp Are you all right? Nothings happened to you, l hope? l want to come there to bring you back, Maya Dont come here, Akki. Were getting out of here l want to see you Dont l want to see you too? lm coming over Come soon, Maya lm scared... what if something happens? Nothing will happen to me, Akki! The locket of Lord Ganesha you gave me... on our first anniversary, is still with me Nothing will happen to me, Akki Nothings going to happen to me Maya Bhatnagar wasnt just a doctor. She was Gods gift to society She didnt treat medical practice like a profession, it was her religion Each one of us here works to gain something But Maya always wanted to give, she wished to serve She never treated her little patients any less than her own children People had started believing that Maya possessed some divine talent More than medicines, Maya has cured several patients... with her love and care We know, no one in the hospital will be able to take her place The loss of Maya we shall feel forever There was no doubt that the accident in which Maya died... was so horrible, that no one could have survived it l wonder how Maya must have died They say, you can say from the face of the dead... whether theyve had a peaceful death, or a horrible one lt had become very necessary for me to see Mayas face Finish your enquiry as fast as possible lts raining heavily, it could get worse We wont be able to get out of here, sir You said it was 80 kilometers. This is 1 10 kilometers extra How much money are you going to spend? Here we are, sir Hurry up, sir! lts pouring heavily lm willing wait here for some more time, Officer. Please! lts raining so heavily, we dont know where whose body has gone l advise you to return. lm staying here lm staying here till your operation is over Believe me, sir. The operation is over Deep down in my heart, l probably wished that we didnt find Mayas body Because in that wish of mine, was hidden a hope The hope of Maya being alive l cant say about others, but that was the hope l lived on Victims of the accident that took place this morning have been admitted How many of them? 6 have arrived... 6 of them have yet to be admitted She was in that bus too, doctor Take her to the O.T. immediately and prepare for an operation Doctor, this patient has 80/./. burns... Take him to the burns ward. Quick! Anymore casualties? Not as yet This girl tried to commit suicide. lf there was anymore delay, maybe... Let Dr Mehta handle this case But Dr Mehtas handling the pregnancy case lf you could attend to this one... Now look, nurse l am the who decides who handles which case l dont want to see patients who themselves dont wish to live Ask Dr Mehta to handle the case. Tell him those are my instructions Chances of survival if the pregnancy is terminated? Difficult, sir We need to do something We need permission to terminate the pregnancy We dont need it for the delivery, do we? What do you think? Was that the right decision you made? l think it was right. To do an abortion on a woman... 6 months pregnant, a caesarean! That too, without her permission! The woman was unconscious. lt was not possible to save both of them l couldnt save the mother, but l somehow saved the baby You refused to handle that suicide case too l entrusted it to Dr. Mehta. Why? Because you thought that patient wasnt worthy of you? Can we talk about this tomorrow? Ever since Maya has died... youve been working round the clock for the last seven days That hasnt affected my efficiency ln fact, your efficiency has received a great boost My hospital does not need so much of efficiency The rest of my staff cant take it The staff also complain that you have become very irritable of late l think you need to rest After Mayas death, maybe you havent still cried enough So you want me to stop working? Go home and mourn the loss? What is the name of the girl who tried to end her life? Janki. Ward number? Since Mr Goenka insisted, l had to tell him that you... Why did you bring me back? From where? From that world, which is far better than this one Have you seen that world? No So how can you say its a better world than this one? Because l have seen this world. Why did you bring me back? Love is beautiful, Janki Not when you see with my eyes Why not look at it through my eyes? lf you did, youd know... how much life means Why must l look at it through your eyes? Maybe not mine, look at it through the eyes of those who love you What happens of them? You will leave only questions for them Questions, theyll seek answers to, all their lives lve lost someone too. ln an accident l know what the anguish of losing someone is All l will tell you is, whatever there is... is right here Theres nothing there Whatever we gain, we gain here Whatever we lose, we lose right here Why do you want to lose what youve got? You dont get to live every now and then? You dont get anything a second time. Nothing Why hasnt Akash come yet? He said hed be coming l wonder where hes held up. Good for him if he comes A couple of drinks will make him feel better Hes going to go mad. Hes thinking of Maya all the time And hell get nothing out of that. He must accept what has happened He must, no doubt. But you know how sensitive he is about Maya Heres some beer for you Richard, get another beer What have you been talking about? About you Youll live a hundred years. Thank of you, and there you are Live a hundred years! lsnt that what you told Maya so many times too? And what happened? Did she live a hundred years? Where are you going...? Where...? Sit down lve ruined your evening lt was a slip of the tongue, lm sorry Hasnt your cough been cured yet? Did you take that cough syrup l gave you? You never listen to me. lll take it... stop being a doctor so late in the night Youre always feeding me a dose of medicine All right, give me 22 rupees 22 rupees? l must ask for much more Because what lm going to give you is worth much more Mayas parcel has arrived. l had to pay 22 rupees as postage Let me have it Mayas parcel...? How can it arrive? Six months old. Thanks to the postal department, it arrives now Here you are. Revive old memories and keep awake all night for all l care Hey! My 22 rupees! l owe it as a friend. lll return it to you That parrot of yours makes a lot of noise Take him with you tomorrow. And go to bed early Whats the matter? Tanya was complaining about you You are my life. You are with me... l no longer care for this world lll take a life, lll give up my life... l dont care what price l have to pay You are my life. You are with me... Theres no other desire like your love... for yours is a love that is not put on Nature has bestowed on you unparalleled beauty... it is untouched by the corruption in the world l must have it at any cost... l dont care, even if l have to lose my life for it You are my life. You are with me... You are my God, you are my faith... that you love me, is a great favour to me You are the brightness of the morning for me... for me, you are a silken evening l wish to live in your heart all my life... l care not for another nest You are my life. You are with me... l no longer care for this world Youre not going there Maya. l am! People there are dying in the floods. Children, women, the old... And no doctor is willing to go there. l am going there There is the problem of militancy. lts very dangerous there Please dont be stubborn. You are the one whos being stubborn Dont go is all youve been saying for the last two days As a doctor, how can you stop another doctor from doing her duty? Why must only doctors from Delhi go the Burma borders to perform their duty? Are there no doctors in Calcutta, Assam, Mizoram and Manipur? There are. But they are not interested in going to the Burma borders ln fact, no one wants to go there Not doctors, not engineers, not even the politicians Why would anyone go there? Not everyone is naive like you lm better off being naive Youre not going all alone Youre carrying my baby with you You need to rest. Akki... you were the one who said, were doctors first, everything else later Have faith in me. lll look after myself and look after my baby too Please. Let me go lf you really love me, you mustnt go lf you really love me, you will not stop me from going there What will he teach me? Hes an ass! So you teach him. Thats what lve got to do Hes an ass! So tell me. How many years have you known Akash? 5 years. 5 years How many years will you tolerate him? Looks like lll have to tolerate him all my life All your life...? What if he dies before you? lll go away before you lll go away before you, but l wont stop following you lll come to meet you every day. Every day! Youre so worried about a paper-weight? How could it fall on its own? Why not? lts so simple. lts not simple. Maya was the one who gave me that paper-weight So? Not just the paper-weight l found the projector on too. You mustve left it on Unless someone manually switches on the project, it cant come on, Tanya So what are you trying to tell me? That Maya came to you last night? She was the one who switched on the projector? And dropped the paper-weight? How else did it all happen? lt happened because you still havent accepted that Maya is no more, Akash lt happens. lt happened to me too When someone you love so dearly goes away suddenly... we are just not willing to accept the truth For a few days, we feel as if theyre somewhere around us Thats what you must be feeling too. l mean... probably that paper-weight was on the edge, and slipped off But you... Ever since Maya has gone away, its very strange at home Bittu has fallen silent too Whenever Maya knocked at the door earlier... hed begin chanting, Mayas back! Mayas back! lt says nothing now. A scary silence has descended on the house Akash, take a few days off My flights taking off for Goa l had promised Maya that l would look after her patients Take care, Akash l know whats playing on your mind right now Just that lve made you wait six months for a little favour lm happy you have helped me, even if its a bit late You take instant decisions during surgery... but official matters take time lm not a very bad man. lts just that l have my own responsibilities Which is why... lve got to be a bit firm at times Theres something more lve got to tell you Youre going to work where Maya used to work and l hope... you will not give anyone cause for complaint Just as Maya loved children and treated them... lll do that too, Dr. Goenka Happiness of the past is always painful Despite knowing that, l started spending my nights... in Mayas ward, to escape loneliness l had no other way of finding peace of mind Like everyone else, l did not believe God, souls and rebirth... which give us only false hopes. Little did l know... that faith would cast its rays on my life... that would gradually develop into an ocean... and change the course of my life Akki! Can you hear me? lt has happened earlier, doctor Twice earlier, we thought Nakul was dead There was nothing to tell us that he was alive And he suddenly returns to life. He says... he has passed through some tunnel... where there was a lot of light and everything was very clear Do you believe in such things? l didnt earlier But the last time Nakul came back... he told me that he had met my elder sister After just an hour, l got a call from my village... that my elder sister had passed away lm Dr Akash Bhatnagar ln any case, you dont need an introduction in Dr Mayas ward The child who was brought into the lCU... what was his name? Can l meet him? Dr Maya used to ask about him the moment she arrived too She used to love him very much l want to see Nakul How is he now? See for yourself Hes been drawing as if nothing had happened to him You like to draw? What are you drawing? l dont know. lve been thinking about it, ever since l came around Last night you were shocked, werent you uncle? Last night? When? When your glasses got wet How do you know? l was watching you Watching me? Yes, from the ceiling Nakul, do your drawings, talk less Nurse, l have to talk to him. You cant, doctor We have strict instruction from the hospital authorities We must discourage patients from talking like that Talking like what? Like Sister Martha used to She used to record the experiences of the dead who came back to life She used to quiz them in a way that would make them uneasy But Sister Martha never met me. Had she, ld have told her so much l remember everything that l had seen there Doctor, l have to check on a patient at ward two. lll be back soon Do you know my name, Nakul? Akash, Have you heard it before? Akash Akki Mayas Akki? Yes... Mayas Akki l met Maya too yesterday Where? l dont know lt was so bright there and water everywhere She was saying something? What was she saying? What was she saying, Nakul? What was she saying, Nakul? Akki! Akki! According to recent medical studies, all those who have had... near-death experience say that theres a tunnel, brightness... Thats what most of them say l wonder why Let me explain. Medical science studies show that after death... the cornea slowly shrinks and creates a tunnel-shaped image in the brain But Akash says the boy remembers much more Like, Akashs entry into the room, watching him on the sly... Could be. The body dies but the brain doesnt die instantly The brain saves those impressions that the person sees before his death When did he see a drop of water falling on my glasses? He was never around He was dying when he was being taken away in a stretcher l felt as if he was calling out to me Akki Only your daughter used to call me Akki, no one else You are a psychiatrist, Neha. What do you have to say? Papa, a psychiatrist first listens. l would like to hear from Akash What does he feel these days? These days? What do you mean? l have told you all that what is happening with me All but one thing. Do you really feel that Maya is calling out to you? l dont think so. Check yourself, Akash Could it be that you are scared of telling the truth? Papa, lll be back Akash, l wont charge you fees if you consult me l dont need to. l knew that would be your answer ld like to tell you something l didnt tell you back there Maya was not merely my wife, she was a friend, she meant everything to me Yes, l miss her. And l feel that she is somewhere around trying to meet me But that doesnt mean that l have forgotten the truth l know that l cant get back Maya ever again Wait, Akash. Dont leave like that Pour your heart out and feel less burdened l dont need to tell anyone what l feel and what l dont Sometimes fragrance, sometimes a waft... sometimes l feel its the breeze You are far away from me... yet l feel you are within me This only thought... keeps me away at nights Should l sleep... l would dream about you And when at dawn... my eyes open... like the stars... you would vanish too Coming to me and going away... hurts... hurts a lot You are far away from me... yet l feel you are within me Whats your name? Biren lm Akash. l know Your sketches are so lovely She is calling out to you Who is calling out to me? She said she was a doctor here Doctor? Who? Her picture is hung near the corridor The one who has worn Santa Claus gown Shes calling out to you, uncle Akash l dont understand anything. When l was being brought here... l saw her in my dream lsnt she dead, uncle? Was it only a dream? Probably But she is calling you, uncle. Where is she calling me? All right, have we met before? l dont know Then how do you know me? She showed me a picture of yours Where? Where did she show you my picture? ln some picture? ln my mind Can you tell me where you met her? Do you know the place? Over there There? How will l get there? How does one get there? l dont know The boy in room 302...? 302? Biren? Yes. Did he know my wife? lll check, hang on No doctor, this is the first time the boy is admitted here That too only two weeks back Knowing your wife is just out of question Nakul was a patient who was everyones pet His coming back to life and saying that he met Maya... Chocolate for your coffee? No Nakul says that Maya is in some place where its full of light... and water all around Biren too says Maya is calling me out there Too much sugar, no? Why arent you listening to me? Whats all this about chocolate and coffee? l wish to tell you something And l intend to distract you from all these things that are unrealistic Unrealistic? How can you be sure? Four years ago when Vinod passed away... and l was running crazy looking for him everywhere, you helped me out l said hes alive and hell return and you used to tell me its absurd Didnt you say that? But Tanya... But what? Have you forgotten? So many times you and Maya... brought me back from the accident site where l used to wait for Vinod Because l felt he was alive and hed return l lost a year and a half of my life just to understand that... a person never returns from the dead l dont want you to lose years of your life too All that l told you is real Akash, you are a doctor. How could you believe all this? What explanation does all this have scientifically? lf you think too much about it, you will go crazy Stay away from all those things that remind you of Maya lts Maya! Maya is here! Come with me! Come on. Whats the matter? My house is flooded with water, Tanya. Water...? Please come with me. How come? Come in and see. Every room is flooded upto the knees You mustve kept the tap open. Go inside and see Come on. lm not going in l cant. You go in and see Where is the water? lt was right here. Then where did it go? lt was flooded upto the knees, right? l cannot even see a drop. Where is it? lm not lying. Look at me. Look at my clothes, they are still wet l didnt get wet just like that. You are always talking like a madman Wont your clothes get wet if you stay under the shower? Youre going insane, Akki. No, lm not insane! Youre going insane! You have lost it! No! l have not lost it! Trust me, the room was full of water, this floor was under the water Water was gushing out of these very walls Everything was sinking here like Mayas bus... You must help yourself. l cant help you. No one can Get a hold on yourself Kavita, get up. What is it? Akash is on the line. Akash? At this hour? Go on, Akash l see weird things l think lm going insane What time youll be there at the clinic tomorrow? At ten All right. l can come rightaway if you want Doctor, you know that Dr Goenka... Wheres Nakul? ln the pathology ward But please dont try to meet him. Dr Goenka has forbidden... Who the hell is Dr Goenka? Administrator of this hospital You are a doctor, and you are out to make the patients health worse lt is my duty to check such doctors. What have l done? Nakul is very critical now, and it happened only after your visit Yes, l can very well do that l have done it before too There was one Sister Martha She used to ask the patients where they had been and what they had seen... after death and before reviving. You too want to do something so silly l revoke the permission that l had given you for visiting childrens ward You are a brilliant doctor, thats why l wouldnt want to lose you All around, everywhere, all over... it is His light that is spread Yes, it is His light An ocean of light... somewhere there is surely An ocean of light... somewhere there is surely Father, l want to meet Sister Martha l cant allow you to meet Sister Martha Why? l dont need to tell you why Father please, just for a while Do not make it worse for us. Leave before the police arrive Sister Martha, l want to talk to you. Go away. l cant talk to you lts already a mess. l dont care But l do. Journalists and interviewers like you have harassed me enough Sister, l am none of them. lm a doctor My wife too was a doctor before she died in an accident And l feel she is trying to reach for me Whats your name? Akash Akash Bhatnagar And your wifes name? Maya? Leave before the police arrive. Help me, Sister l say, go away. Take him away. l want to talk to you about Maya Hear me out, Sister The earth and the sky... the moon and the sun... has any mortal... ever made? Has any mortal... ever made them? There is someone, before whom... man is helpless There is someone, before whom... man is helpless l cant help you. You must help yourself How, Sister? Biren and Nakul both have told me that Maya is calling out to me But they both dont know where she is. Maya is where the kids have been l know why Maya chose the kids for it. Because a child has a clean... and empty heart. Unlike adults children dont opine Children only reveal what they see, what is clear, what is true But how am l to believe all this, Sister? You cant believe it You cant believe it until your heart is filled with distrust Maya will keep trying to meet you. And you can never open the doors... behind which lies the answers to your questions Whatd you do in my shoes, Sister? l would believe But are these things for real? l think it is. lf we have a world, why cant souls have a world of their own? Was Nakul revived to deliver Mayas message to me? lf not Nakul, it would have been someone else lf Maya wants to meet you, the medium can be anyone, anything She wants me to go to her! What do l infer from it? Between Life and Death there are many steps Perhaps Maya stopped at one of those steps She is calling out to you, but you purposely ignore her calls... because you believe in not believing, my son Why is Maya calling me? l think Maya isnt completely detached from you yet There must be something that was left incomplete What could it be? You will know that in good time Until then am l to roam about like a madman, Sister? Behind every search, there is madness After all you are searching for something too Not without reasons though. There you are Nothing happens without reasons There should surely be a reason why you are going through all this You are standing in a bridge, Akash, right in the middle You have two ways to climb down Only you can decide which way you want to go What does this mean, Maya? What do you want to tell me? Are you there, Maya? Listen to me carefully. We got a dead body for kidney transplant You must personally take care of it till l come lll be a little late, but l will only perform the transplant Come closer, Akki Where are you taking him? That man is not dead, hes alive. What rot? lm telling the truth The corpse has been lying here since morning Wait! That man is alive. l saw his heart beat Theres no room for any doubt, look at this Hurry up That man is alive. l saw him breathe Ashok, dont take him away please. Move away, Akash Believe me Akash, he grabbed my hand, he tried to tell me something A corpse grabbed your hand? Are you insane? Not a corpse, Ashok! Maya tried to talk to me Carry on, guys Akash! What are you doing? Let me be alone with him for ten minutes, please Maya is trying to reach me through him Akash, you are out of your mind. You are going insane Akash, get out of here this very moment! Come over here Akash, theres a limit to being childish lt was Mayas voice. l cant be wrong. Please give me ten minutes All right, well talk about it later Akash! Where are you taking him? Maya wants to talk to me! Let me go! Take him away! Let go! Carry on, doctor. You can go now Madam has bailed you out Didnt you hear? Get up Cmon Get this thing very clear, doctor lf you act weird again, anywhere in the vicinity of the hospital... then, either lll lock you up or lll send you to an asylum. Dig? We caused you trouble because of him Where was the need to kick up such a fuss over a dead body? l hope you wont say that the dead body was talking to you? No Through that body, Maya was talking to me l know what lm saying. Believe it or not... Maya was trying to reach me through that body lm the one its all happening to The one you think is a corpse, grabbed my hand l only asked for 10 minutes to talk to him and you think lm mad? Tanya, believe me... You cant die for those who are dead! To live, you must accept that Maya is dead Accept it! She will never return lve been tolerating your nonsense for the last three months! Get a grip on yourself Just as you brought me to terms with life, after Vinods death... you need to something like that with yourself too Kill the things that have brought you to this state One last thing, Akki. You owe me many favours, dont you? Return all the favours to me. With interest Break off with every thing that had anything to do with Maya Leave that house, this city. Stop meeting me too Am l not the one most of Mayas memories are attached with? At least try! Didnt l try? lm still trying That which l didnt ever want to me... l was forced to be Even having lost you... lm forced to live The wound time has inflicted on me... lve had to bear ln the city, once again... lll make a small house for myself The way you had done up the house... l will do up this one too With new colours, l shall colour... the walls A few new dreams l will plant The poison of your sorrow... l am forced to drink Even after having lost you... l am forced to live The wound time has inflicted on me... lve had to bear Now do you believe what l say, Tanya? lts the same sign Biren and Nakul... kept making at the hospital every now and then lts the same picture your best friend Maya sent to me through you Meaning? lts obvious Mayas calling me over. To the same sign in that village she went to But Akash, Mayas... You wont understand me, will you? Because you still stand on this side of the bridge of faith Where l stood, some time ago But l have crossed the bridge l know, Mayas calling me there lm going to her l dont know why, Tanya... but l feel as if lm going to bring your friend back from there Over there, sir. Thats the village in your photograph That sign in the photo, sir... thats a sign youll find in front of every hut Five kilometers from here is the Chameli bridge, sir A van of the Red Cross fell off the cliff from there A few of the bodies were washed into the village by the currents... but some of them have still not been found lve got to go there No, sir. We cant go there There are only tribals there. lts very dangerous Take me there, Moses. No, sir. l cant take you there But lll ask a tribal friend of mine... Please take me there. Now! Theyll ask for some money, sir. Thats all right. Cmon Will l get money? Of course l asked them. They say they cant take you into the village... its on the border of Burma, sir. lts very dangerous But if we pay them some money, theres a graveyard... where theyve buried many victims of the bus accident... maybe your wifes body is also buried there, sir? Shall we go, sir? My heart still beats for you l still hear your melodious call My bodys still on fire... with your breath lt still evokes excitement... in my soul My heart is now... laden with your memories... even separated from me... you seem so much a part of me The last bus is going to leave. Well have to get moving Sir! Do these folks know where which body hasnt gone? l dont think so, sir We must leave. The bus will leave, sir Have you seen her somewhere? They know your wife He says hell take us into the village The other says, they wont take us into the village Moses, isnt this the waterfall where...? Yes, its the waterfall where the bus met with an accident Sir! Where are you going? lts dangerous! Dont go any further... Now look, sir... listen to me! Maya isnt wholly separated from you yet Shes calling you There was so much of light there, so much of water Youre out of your mind! Youre mad! Youre saved! Do you know...? You were saved by Gods grace! Lets get out of here, get up! You know, youve reached the border of Burma! The Border Security guys will gun you down and me lf we get caught, well have to do a term in prison! Lets go now, please! Shes not dead Shes in that village Where are you going now...? Dont go there, please! Dont go there! Theyll kill you! My wife She says, your wife was here in the village to help The flood waters brought her back to the village She says, they couldnt save your wife She says, they laid your wifes soul to rest She says, its your God... its Lord Ganesha who saved your baby Mayas here! See, Tanya? lve brought Maya back Mayas death taught me something... she couldnt ever teach me while she was alive She taught me to have faith Faith in love... faith in ones intentions Or else, how could it have been possible... that our premature baby who was just six-months old... survived in those jungles, without any medical attention? l was convinced that love has the power... to bring back even the dead The body dies but not the man lts only that he transforms into a memory He is brought alive every moment... in every mention of his... in every word of his Though we try we cant ever forget the dead That is why theres never a worry of forgetting the dead O life of mine, you are always with me |
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