Santa Baby (2006)

1
HE'S THE MAN
WITH ALL THE TOYS
SOMEONE FOUND
THE LIGHTED HOUSE
LATE ONE NIGHT
AND HE SAW
THROUGH THE WINDOW
A SIGHT
A BIG MAN
IN A CHAIR
AND LITTLE TINY
MEN EVERYWHERE
HE'S THE MAN
WITH ALL
THE TOYS
HE'S STAYING OUT
IN THE COLD
AND WHEN HE LEFT
AS WE'RE TOLD
ABOUT THE MAN
WITH ALL
THE TOYS
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS--
[yelps, groans]
THIS IS A NIGHTMARE.
WHAT?
COME ON, DONNA!
TIME TO HOOF IT!
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
WHATEVER.
Santa: LITTLE HELP, HERE?
WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS TRAFFIC?
OH, THEY CLOSING DOWN
THE STREETS
FOR THE PARADE TOMORROW.
PARADE? WHAT PARADE?
UM...THANKSGIVING.
Mary: YOU CLOSE AN ENTIRE CITY
TO DO A 3-HOUR INFOMERCIAL
FOR DEPARTMENT STORES.
GOD, I WISH I WOULD
HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT.
OH, NO! EMAIL GRANT.
BUY US SOME TIME.
OH!
[cars honking]
HOLD IT!
[sighs]
[cell phone buzzes]
[phone buzzes again]
FOLEY, THIS CONSULTING GENIUS
OF YOURS IS RUNNING LATE.
I'M SURE SHE'LL BE HERE
ANY MINUTE, SIR.
IF THERE'S ONE THING
I'VE LEARNED,
IT'S THAT MARY CLASS
IS DEFINITELY WORTH THE WAIT.
OH, HEY. I NEED THE--
RIGHT HERE.
AND WHAT ABOUT THE--
HERE YA GO.
AND THE--
GOT IT.
ALL RIGHT!
AND HERE SHE IS NOW.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
MARY CLASS.
GOOD AFTERNOON.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY.
MISS CLASS.
WE'RE ALL HERE, WAITING
TO BE IMPRESSED.
THESE ARE THE ANNUAL REPORTS
FOR YOUR MULTISAVE SUPERSTORES.
[STARTLED MURMURS]
Mary: AND THAT'S WHERE
YOU'LL BE, A YEAR FROM NOW,
IF THOSE TRENDS CONTINUE.
MY FULL PROPOSAL'S
ALREADY IN YOUR EMAIL.
LET'S GO OVER THE BIG POINTS.
THIS IS THE MULTISAVE
OF TODAY.
BUT YOU KNOW THE PROBLEM.
LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SOLUTION.
WHAT COULD BE DONE
TO SAVE MULTISAVE?
MULTISAVE IS DONE.
FINISHED. EXTINCT.
IN ITS PLACE,
SAME LOCATION.
DIFFERENT ATTITUDE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
IT IS TIME TO
REINTRODUCE YOURSELVES.
AND THAT MEANS GOING
AFTER THE YOUTH MARKET.
IT MEANS GETTING A MASCOT.
IT MEANS BRAND RECOGNITION.
YOU DON'T SELL...HATS.
YOU SELL SPOTLIGHT HATS.
YOU DON'T SELL TOASTERS.
YOU SELL SPOTLIGHT TOASTERS.
BOTTLED WATER?
SPOTLIGHT WATER.
MISS CLASS, YOU WANT US
TO THROW AWAY
EVERYTHING WE'VE BUIL FOR OVER HALF A CENTURY.
MR. HAMILTON.
YOU CAN'T STAND IN
THE WAY OF PROGRESS.
THE NEW PARADIGM IS
DESTINATION SHOPPING.
INSTEAD OF GOING SHOPPING,
PEOPLE WILL BE GOING
TO SPOTLIGHT.
INSTEAD OF GOING
TO THE MALL,
PEOPLE WILL BE GOING
TO SPOTLIGHT.
SPOTLIGHT WILL BECOME
THE NUMBER ONE SHOPPING
EXPERIENCE.
THAT...
IN YOUR FUTURE.
[champagne cork, popping]
[clinking glass]
CONGRATULATIONS.
[chuckles]
AH, IT WAS NOTHING.
NOTHING?
HAMILTON'S SO IMPRESSED,
HE'S PUTTING ME IN CHARGE
OF NEW BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT.
SERIOUSLY?
MM-HM.
GRANT...
THAT IS FANTASTIC.
IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
MM...
YOU'RE JUST AMAZING.
I DON'T DESERVE YOU.
[laughing]
[clearing throat]
DO YOU HAVE TO
DO THAT RIGHT NOW?
NO. PLEASE. COME IN.
HERE'S THE REST OF
THE MULTISAVE PAPERWORK.
THANKS, DONNA. WE'VE GO A LOT OF WORK AHEAD OF US.
WELL, WE CAN GET A JUMP ON I OVER THE LONG WEEKEND.
WEEKEND?
THANKSGIVING?
WITH MY PARENTS?
[gasps] OH, GRANT.
WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.
YOU KNOW I'M NOT BIG--
ON HOLIDAYS.
I KNOW. I KNOW.
I JUST-- I HAVE
SO MUCH WORK TO DO.
I CAN'T AFFORD
A 4-DAY WEEKEND.
ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT DINNER
WHEN I GET BACK?
ALL RIGHT.
LUIGI'S? MONDAY?
NO, MONDAY'S NO GOOD.
LUNCH WEDNESDAY?
NO, I'VE GOT RACQUETBALL
WITH HARMON.
HOW ABOUT DRINKS?
[PDA beeps]
HM. NOT A CHANCE.
[PDA beeps]
BRUNCH SUNDAY?
[beeps]
COFFEE, 8:30,
A WEEK FROM TUESDAY?
[beeps]
OOO. CAN WE MAKE IT 9:15?
[beeps]
DONE.
[beeps]
Grant: WELL...
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'M GONNA GET GOING, TOO.
OH! WAIT.
I GOT SOME...
HOMEWORK FOR YA.
I'LL GET IT DONE
ON MONDAY.
MONDAY? ARE YOU KIDDING?
WE GOTTA GET MOVIN'
ON THIS.
BUT TOMORROW'S
A NATIONAL HOLIDAY.
WHICH MEANS WE WON'T GE INTERRUPTED WHILE WE WORK.
[FAKE LAUGH]
SEE YOU IN
THE MORNING.
SEE YA.
[screams]
[crash]
[finishes yawn]
[exhales hard]
[snores]
[parade music]
Donna: WOW.
SLEEP MUCH?
I GOT A NAP.
I HAD TO GO 3 PLACES TO FIND
A LATTE ON THANKSGIVING.
THANKS.
OH, WHAT A MESS!
MESS?
IT'S ALL SORTED.
AD CAMPAIGN. MARKET RESEARCH.
LOGO TEST. P.R.
Donna: YOU'RE AMAZING.
SCARY, BUT AMAZING.
I'LL START UPLOADING.
[phone rings]
CLASS CONSULTING.
OH. SURE.
ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.
IT'S YOUR MOTHER.
MY MOTHER?
[screams]
OH! AH! OH...
[groans]
[laughing]
THANKS.
MOM?
MOM, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
MOM, CALM DOWN.
OH, MY GOD.
OK.
[phone beeps off]
WHAT IS IT?
MY DAD. HE HAD
A HEART ATTACK.
OKAY. WE CONNECT IN
TORONTO BEFORE--
WHERE IS POLARIS, ANYWAY?
NORTH. FAR NORTH.
NO NO NO NO NO.
THE HEAVY COAT.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS IT.
NO. THE GREEN ONE.
WELL, I HOPE YOUR DAD'S
ALL RIGHT.
AH, HE'S A FORCE OF NATURE.
A HEART ATTACK WON' EVEN SLOW HIM DOWN.
THERE'S NO GREEN COA IN HERE.
THERE'S THIS SLEEPING BAG.
NO. THAT'S IT.
I CAN'T REALLY SEE YOU
WEARING SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
IT'S NOT FOR ME.
IT'S FOR YOU.
IT GETS VERY COLD
UP THERE. TRUST ME.
HEY. THANKS FOR
GOING WITH ME.
I KNOW IT'S NOT MUCH
OF A HOLIDAY.
WHERE YOU GO, I GO.
Mary: YOU KNOW, THERE'S--
THERE'S SOMETHING THAT, UM,
YOU NEED TO KNOW
ABOUT MY FAMILY.
THEY'RE, UH-- DIFFERENT.
FAMILIES. IF YOU CAN'T BE
EMBARRASSED BY THEM,
WHAT GOOD ARE THEY?
YEAH. WELL, MY FOLKS
ARE KIND OF ON A WHOLE
OTHER LEVEL.
[festive crowd]
SAY CHEESE.
[group] CHEESE.
HEY, SVEN.
HAVE A GOOD THANKSGIVING?
SURE DID.
ME, TURKEY, AND THE BOYS.
HOW 'BOUT YOU?
ME, TURKEY, AND THE BOYS.
[laughing]
YEAH. THEY'RE GOOD
COMPANY, THOUGH, HUH?
YOU KNOW THEY'RE
JUST DOGS, RIGHT?
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
BUT DON'T TELL THEM THAT.
[chuckling]
MIND GIVING ME A HAND
WITH THE POLE?
UH, YEAH. SURE THING.
SURE THING.
GOTTA SALT THE ROAD.
YEAH...
THAT TIME OF YEAR,
RIGHT?
Sven: YEAH.
[ringing bell]
OH. LOOKS LIKE YOU GO YOURSELF A CUSTOMER.
YEAH.
SEE YA.
SEE YA.
WHOA.
HI, LITTLE PUPPIES!
HE'S SO CUTE.
HI!
[dog whimpering]
HI, LITTLE GUY.
[laughing]
HEY.
OOH.
HEY, PUPPY.
HI!
WHOA...
HEY, LADIES.
CAN I HELP...?
HI, LUKE.
LONG TIME, NO SEE.
WELL, WELL.
LOOK WHO'S BACK.
IT'S, UM...
IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
YEAH, I'M, UM...
I'M HERE TO SEE MY DAD.
NOW LISTEN. DON'T WORRY.
YOUR OLD MAN, HE'S TOUGH.
HE'S NOT GONNA MISS A BEAT.
YEAH, WELL... THAT'S
WHAT I'M AFRAID OF.
[clears throat]
OH, THIS IS MY
ASSISTANT, DONNA.
HI.
ASSISTANT. WOW.
SO YOU REALLY GOT TO BE
THAT BIGSHOT AFTER ALL, HUH?
WE WERE HOPIN'
TO GET A RIDE.
YEAH. SURE.
WHY NOT?
I WAS HEADIN'
THAT WAY.
HEY, UM...
REFRESH MY MEMORY.
WHAT IS IT YOU SAY
TO GET THE DOGS GOING?
YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.
MUSH.
[dogs barking]
[laughing]
[moaning]
[laughing]
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I FELL FOR THAT.
AGAIN?
SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.
SURE ABOUT THAT?
[shivering]
Guys?
FREEZING, HERE.
MUSH! MUSH!
[dogs howling]
Luke: HIKE!
HIKE! HIKE!
HIKE! HIKE!
COME ON! HIKE!
GOOD DOGS.
HEY!
IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
YOU CITY FOLK.
[phone rings]
LOOK AT ALL THOSE TREES.
[phone rings again]
[answers phone]
HELLO?
HI, GRANT. I'M SORRY
I DIDN'T CALL.
I WAS IN A BIT OF A RUSH.
YEAH, UH-- I'M SURE
MY DAD'S GONNA BE FINE.
[groans]
UM, DID YOU SEE
THAT SIGN?
SH-- SHOULDN'T WE, UM...?
DID THAT SIGN
JUST SAY AVALANCHE?
HANG ON!
[moaning] SIR?
UH, GRANT? I'M ABOU TO GO INTO A TUNNEL.
I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
WHO WAS THAT?
A BUSINESS ASSOCIATE?
BOYFRIEND.
POOR GUY.
SIR? AH...
WAIT. WE'RE NOT GOING
INTO THE MOUNTAIN, ARE WE?
[screams]
[keeps screaming]
SO PRETTY.
Luke: WHOA!
THIS IS IT!
[tow train whistles]
[happy chatter]
GUESS YOU GUYS GO ALL-OU FOR CHRISTMAS UP HERE.
HEE-YAH! TAKE THIS!
[cheerful chatter]
DONNA? ARE YOU COMING?
[small voice]
SORRY!
THIS IS WHERE YOU GREW UP?
IT'S A BIT MUCH,
ISN'T IT?
[carefree chatter]
[door opens]
MARY!
YOU'RE HOME!
[gasping with joy]
[laughing]
MARY'S HOME! MARY'S HOME!
Mary: OH OH OH OH.
FELLAS. FELLAS.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEE MY ASSISTANT, DONNA.
HELLO, DONNA!
HI.
WELCOME.
OOOH!
[cooing]
LOVELY JACKET.
HI...
ALL RIGHT.
HERE YOU GO, GUYS.
I GOT TODAY'S
DELIVERY FOR YA.
RIGHT! GREAT. YEAH.
OKAY.
GET THAT DOWN
TO PROCESSING.
WHOA...
WHOA!
[hollering together]
[crashing]
OH...[stammers]
I'M SORRY.
MARY?
YOUR...YOUR DAD...
IS SANTA CLAUS?
KINDA.
YEAH.
KINDA?
LUKE? UH, CAN YOU DO ME
A FAVOR, AND HELP DONNA
GET SETTLED?
SURE.
[weak greeting]
[humming "Santa Baby"]
[gasping]
[laughing]
SAINTS ALIVE.
HI, MOM.
WHERE DID THIS
SCRAWNY LITTLE GIRL
COME FROM?
HO, OH MY!
LOOK AT YOU!
[gasps] YOU ARE
SKINNY AS A RAIL.
[gasping, chuckling]
AND WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOU HAIR?
IT USED TO BE SO LONG.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU,
TOO, MOM.
OH HO HO!
OH, I'M SORRY, MARY.
I DON'T MEAN
TO MAKE A FUSS.
BUT YOU CAN HARDLY
BLAME ME. IT'S BEEN
6 YEARS.
FOUR, MOM.
WELL, IT FEELS
LIKE 6.
BUT I SUPPOSE IT'S HARD
TO FIND TIME TO VISI WHEN YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT.
WELL, I'M HOME NOW, MOM.
[chuckles]
HOW IS, UH...HOW'S DAD?
WELL...THE DOCTOR
SAYS HE'LL BE FINE.
JUST FINE.
GOOD.
GOOD.
[sighs]
MAYBE I'LL-- MAYBE I'LL
GO UNPACK FIRST.
HE'S IN THE LIVING ROOM.
[whispering]
GO GO GO GO.
GO.
[light snore]
[heavier snore]
LOOK AT YOU.
IMMORTAL, MY ASS.
I SEE YOUR MOTHER
CALLED YOU.
YEP.
SHE DID.
[sighs]
HOW YOU FEELIN', POPS?
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING.
WE'RE ONLY
A LITTLE BEHIND.
YOUR MOTHER'S DOING
WHAT SHE CAN.
AS SOON AS I'M UP, I'LL--
THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.
I CAN HELP.
[snorts] NO.
BUT, DAD. I KNOW
THE CHRISTMAS DRILL
BETTER THAN ANYONE.
THE CHRISTMAS DRILL?
NO.
BUT, DAD...!
NO, MARY.
I'LL BE READY IN NO TIME.
[sighs]
[soft snoring]
[sighs]
READY TO GO AROUND THE WORLD
IN A SLEIGH IN 4 WEEKS?
I DON'T THINK SO.
MORNIN', SLEEPYHEAD.
MM. WHAT TIME IS IT?
EH! IT'S A LITTLE
AFTER 8, DEAR!
YECH! MOM, WHAT IS
ALL THAT STUFF?
BREAKFAST FOR YOUR FATHER.
DIDN'T IT OCCUR TO YOU
THAT EATING THIS STUFF
IS WHAT GAVE HIM
THE HEART ATTACK?
WELL, THIS IS WHA WE ALWAYS EAT, DEAR.
[chuckles]
NO KIDDING.
DO ME A FAVOR.
WHATEVER DAD ASKS FOR?
[gasps]
OFF THE MENU.
[gasps]
I COULD RUN INTO TOWN
AND GET SOME...BRAN MUFFINS?
OH, WHAT A THOUGHTFUL
YOUNG LADY.
LISTEN, MOM.
WE NEED TO TALK.
WE ARE TALKING, DEAR.
MOM! THIS IS SERIOUS!
HA!
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN
ON CHRISTMAS?
OH, I'M SURE YOUR FATHER
WILL BE UP AND ABOUT BY THEN.
HE HAD A HEART ATTACK.
IT'LL BE MONTHS BEFORE
HE'S BACK TO NORMAL.
WELL, I'M SURE WE'LL
MANAGE SOMEHOW.
CAN'T THE ELVES RUN THINGS?
[both laughing]
WHAT?
[cheerful chatter]
Elves: SLOW DOWN!
SLOW DOWN!
[train whistle]
[yelps]
ELF OVERBOARD!
[more elf chatter]
I GOTCHA.
[yelping]
OW!
OK.
THE ELVES CAN BARELY
DRESS THEMSELVES.
WELL, THE OLDER ONES--
YEAH. THE OLDER ONES
CAN DRESS THEMSELVES.
BUT WHO'S GONNA
SUPERVISE THE TOYMAKING?
WHO'S GONNA APPROVE
THE LIST?
WHO'S GONNA DELIVER
THE PRESENTS?
[thudding into trash]
YOU HAVE A SUGGESTION?
YEAH!
ME.
Santa: NO, NO, NO.
DON'T YOU MEAN
HO HO HO, DEAR?
WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS,
AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU.
I WON'T HAVE IT.
YOU TALKED ABOUT THIS?
UH... [sighs]
NICKOLAS, MARY CAME
ALL THIS WAY.
SHE'S HERE SO YOU
COULD GET BETTER.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY
NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.
I'M AS STRONG
AS A POLAR BEAR.
NICKOLAS, PLEASE!
YOU CAN HARDLY MOVE.
HOW ARE GONNA GO
UP AND DOWN
MILLIONS OF CHIMNEYS
IN ONE NIGHT?
SAME WAY I'VE ALWAYS
DONE IT.
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS.
MARY'S JUST A GIRL.
OHH!
OH, PHHH!
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
SHE'S TOO YOUNG.
SHE'S TOO HEADSTRONG.
SHE'S--
SHE'S TOO IMPULSIVE.
UH, HELLO,
I'M IN THE ROOM.
SHE'S THE SAME AGE
AS YOU WERE WHEN
YOU STARTED OUT.
YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?
JUST FORGET IT.
IT'S NO USE.
HE'LL NEVER CHANGE.
WHY SHOULD I CHANGE?
I'VE BEEN DOING
THIS SINCE LONG
BEFORE YOU WERE BORN.
CHRISTMAS IS A BIG
RESPONSIBILITY, MARY.
FRANKLY,
YOU'RE NOT UP TO IT.
UP TO IT? DAD,
I RUN MY OWN COMPANY.
PEOPLE PAY ME
TO TELL THEM
HOW TO RUN
THEIR BUSINESS
MORE EFFICIENTLY.
OH, AND I SUPPOSE
YOU TELL THEM,
"JUST CHANGE EVERYTHING.
JUST FORGET ABOU TRADITION."
DAD, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN BEING TRADITIONAL
AND BEING PRIMITIVE.
[SPUTTERS]
[EXHALES]
YOU'RE BEING NAUGHTY!
THINK I'LL BE
THE JUDGE OF THAT. HMM.
UH, WAIT. WHAT?
FOR HOW LONG?
A MONTH, AT LEAST.
THROUGH CHRISTMAS?
YOU'VE GOT IT.
SERIOUSLY?
AHA!
[LAUGHS]
WHAT'S THIS?
THIS IS CHRISTMAS,
MY CHRISTMAS--
A LIFETIME OF MY IDEAS--
STUFF MY DAD WAS
EITHER TOO PIGHEADED OR
TOO SCARED TO EVER TRY.
OOH, LOOK AT THIS.
HA HA!
DIFFERENT SHAPES
FOR CANDY CANES.
OH! BLUEPRINTS FOR
A TURBO-SLEIGH.
OH! SWEATERS
FOR THE REINDEER.
[GASPS] COOKIES
WITH EGGNOG INSIDE.
EW!
YEAH. WELL, THA ONE REALLY DIDN' WORK OUT TOO WELL.
JEEZ. IT LOOKS
LIKE YOU WERE REALLY
INTO THIS STUFF.
WHAT HAPPENED?
R LISTENED TO ME.
NOT ONCE.
I MEAN, I KNOW MY IDEAS
AREN'T ALL GEMS,
BUT I HAD
THOUSANDS OF THEM.
YOU'D THINK HE'D A LEAST HAVE GIVEN ONE
OR TWO OF THEM A SHOT.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S MY TURN NOW.
MY CHRISTMAS.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MOVE IT ALONG
HERE, MATE.
YEAH.
LOOK AT THAT.
YEAH! IT'S NICE.
HERE YOU GO.
WHOA!
[CRASH]
OH, MY.
HEY, BUDDY,
YOU NEED HELP.
A LITTLE HELP HERE.
PLEASE HELP!
HEH! HOPELESS.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
HI.
HEY, LUKE!
AHEM!
GOOD MORNING, TEAM.
I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS.
MARY IS GONNA TAKE OVER
FOR THE BOSS THIS SEASON.
[SILENCE]
YEAH!
IT'S A TOUGH CROWD.
HMM! WATCH AND LEARN.
MARY.
THANK YOU FOR THA INTRODUCTION, GARY.
IT IS SO GREA TO BE HOME AGAIN.
UHH!
[COUGHS]
WHAT IS WITH
THIS COFFEE?
OH, IT'S
HOT COCOA.
UGH!
[CLEARS THROAT]
I KNOW MY FATHER HAS
TREMENDOUS RESPEC AND ADMIRATION
FOR EVERYONE HERE,
BUT I CAN' HELP BUT THINK
THAT WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN
A UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY
TO MOVE THIS OPERATION
OUT OF THE 12th CENTURY
AND INTO THE 21st.
ISN'T SHE BRILLIANT?
WE ARE GOING TO HAVE...
THIS SHOULD BE
INTERESTING.
...AND I WANT TO HEAR
SOME NEW IDEAS.
ALSO, I'LL NEED DAILY
PRODUCTIVITY REPORTS,
AND I WANT TO SEE
THOSE NUMBERS GOING UP.
SKIP. WHERE'S SKIP?
YOU'RE IN WRAPPING,
RIGHT?
UH-HUH.
I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO
MOVE HALF YOUR TEAM
OVER TO PRODUCTION.
AT THE END OF THE DAY,
WRAPPING IS EXPENDABLE.
BUT I LIKE WRAPPING.
IT'S NOT ABOU WHAT WE LIKE.
IT'S ABOUT VOLUME,
PEOPLE.
LET'S BE PROACTIVE.
LET'S THINK
OUTSIDE THE BOX.
LET'S TAKE THE "ELF"
OUT OF "SELFISH"
AND MAKE THIS THE BES CHRISTMAS EVER!
[CLAPPING]
[EVERYONE ELSE SILENT]
YOU CALLED FOR ME?
YEAH, GARY. I'M GONNA
NEED YOU TO GE THE MOST RECEN PRODUCTIVITY REPORTS.
BUT SANTA NEVER ASKED
FOR THE--
SANTA ISN' IN CHARGE. I AM.
PRODUCTIVITY REPORTS.
GO!
UH...OK.
[SIGHS]
ALL RIGHT. LET'S FOCUS.
I HAVE A VERY IMPORTAN JOB FOR YOU.
I'M GONNA NEED YOU
TO GO OVER THE LIST.
THE LIST? WHAT LIST?
THE LIST.
I'M GONNA NEED YOU
TO CHECK IT...
AND THEN
CHECK IT TWICE?
BINGO! BE THOROUGH.
[SIGHS]
DONNA, I'VE WAITED
SO LONG FOR THIS.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RINGS]
HEY, BABY.
HEY, HOW'S YOUR DAD?
OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, HE'S A PAIN
IN THE NECK,
BUT THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
PAR FOR THE COURSE.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR
HE'S OK.
WHEN ARE YOU
COMING BACK?
YEAH. UM...
I'M GONNA BE UP HERE
A LITTLE LONGER
THAN I THOUGHT.
MARY?
THERE'S SOME STUFF
I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF.
OH.
WHAT?
WELL, I SORT OF
TOLD THE BOARD
THAT YOU'D HAVE
THE SPOTLIGH PRODUCT TEST BACK
BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
BUT I GUESS I CAN
GET THEM TO WAIT UNTIL
AFTER THE FIRST.
NO. NO, GRANT, I'VE HAD
SOME STUFF SHIPPED UP.
YOU KNOW ME.
I CAN MULTI-TASK.
OH, THERE--
UH, GRANT, LISTEN,
I GOTTA GO.
CAN I CALL YOU
TONIGHT?
ALL RIGHT. KISS, KISS.
BYE.
WHAT'S UP, GARY?
I COULDN'T FIND ANY
PRODUCTIVITY REPORTS,
SO I BROUGH CANDY CANES INSTEAD.
OK, THEN.
SO, SERIOUSLY,
HOW ARE WE GONNA DO
THE PRODUCT TESTS?
[SIGHS]
HEY, GARY?
YEAH?
I NEED YOU TO ROUND UP
SOME OF YOUR BUDDIES
AND MEET ME
IN THE BREAK ROOM.
CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
YOU BETCHA!
HERE WE GO. THESE ARE
YOUR COMMENT FORMS,
AND I'LL BE PICKING
THEM UP AFTER WE'RE DONE.
OK, GANG, LISTEN UP.
OUT IN THE REAL WORLD,
WE HAVE SOMETHING
CALLED FOCUS GROUPS.
TODAY, I'M GOING TO
NEED YOU TO BE
MY FOCUS GROUP
FOR A PROJECT I'M
WORKING ON BACK HOME.
YES, LUCY?
IS THIS LIKE
MAKE-BELIEVE?
YES! IT'S EXACTLY
LIKE MAKE-BELIEVE.
YEAH!
EXCELLENT!
WHAT I NEED IS FOR YOU
TO PRETEND
TO BE CONSUMERS
WHO MAY OR MAY NO BE INTERESTED
IN SOME OF THESE THINGS.
SOUND LIKE FUN?
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET STARTED.
OK. UM...SKIP.
IF I GAVE YOU
THIS TOASTER,
WHAT WOULD YOUR
REACTION BE?
YOU'RE GIVING ME
THE TOASTER? ME?
FOR RESEARCH
PURPOSES, YES.
OOH!
OOH!
[GASPS] WHY...I...
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.
I LOVE IT.
GOOD.
AN HONEST REACTION.
OK. WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU
LOVE ABOUT THIS TOASTER?
WELL, I MEAN,
THE FACT THAT YOU
GAVE IT TO ME.
I MEAN, THIS IS LIKE
THE HAPPIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE!
[CHORTLES]
[EXCITED REACTIONS]
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
I HAVE A TOASTER!
YEAH!
COME ON!
YEAH!
FOCUS, GROUP.
FOCUS. FOCUS.
FOCUS.
CAN ANYONE TELL ME
WHAT QUALITIES THEY
LIKE ABOUT THIS TOASTER?
NN-YES! NN-YES!
BESIDES THE FAC THAT IT CAME FROM ME.
OH.
OH.
OH.
YES.
UH...
IT'S SHINY.
OH, YEAH.
GREAT. OK.
YOU PREFER THIS DESIGN
OVER, LET'S SAY,
THIS RED ONE?
OOH,
A RED ONE!
[GASPS]
WHO WANTS RED?
LET ME TRY THAT ONE.
PLEASE, GUYS.
EXCUSE ME.
I AM THE SENIOR
ELF HERE. OH!
TALK ABOU GLASS HALF FULL.
TRY BRAIN HALF FULL.
[RAISING AND
LOWERING LEVER]
Mrs. Claus: LUKE,
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
Luke: NO PROBLEM.
OH, COULD YOU BE A DEAR
AND HANG THIS ORNAMEN UP HIGH FOR ME?
THE ELVES ARE NO HELP.
YEAH. SURE THING.
LET ME JUST MOVE THIS
LADDER OUT OF THE WAY.
GOOD THING I CAME
ALL THE WAY IN
FROM TOWN, HUH?
[CHUCKLES]
IT WAS SO NICE TO SEE
YOU AND MARY TOGETHER.
DOESN'T SHE
LOOK DARLING?
MOM, YOU WANTED
TO SEE...
OH, MARY! HELLO!
LOOK WHO'S HERE.
HEY, LUKE.
HEY, MARY.
SO, WHAT DID YOU WANT?
THE ELVES GAVE ME
THIS NOTE.
OH, HEAVENS,
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR
FATHER'S LUNCH.
[LAUGHS LIGHTLY]
IT'S NICE.
ISN'T IT, THOUGH?
[LAUGHS]
LUKE, I--
MARY--
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
GO AHEAD.
NO, NO, NO.
IT WAS NOTHING.
YOU--YOU GO. YOU GO.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY
THAT IT WAS GREA TO SEE YOU
AND THAT I'M SORRY
ABOUT--
HEY, LOOK,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
IT'S OK.
REALLY?
YEAH.
IT'S FORGOTTEN.
[LAUGHS]
SO, I'VE GOT TO...
I SHOULD, UH...
I SHOULD GET GOING.
OK.
GARY!
OH, HI!
OH!
[SIGHS]
OH. UH-OH.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[GRUNTS]
ONWARD!
WHAT? WHAT'S
THE HOLD-UP?
HOW THE HECK
DO THE REINDEER
DO IT?
I HEARD THAT.
NICHOLAS!
WHERE DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE GOING?
THE DOCTOR SAID REST!
DOCTORS--
WHAT DO THEY KNOW?
IT'S LEECHES ONE CENTURY,
LOW CARBS THE NEXT.
I'VE NEVER TAKEN
A CHRISTMAS OFF,
AND I'M
NOT ABOUT TO START NOW!
AND HERE I WAS,
THINKING THIS YEAR
WOULD BE DIFFERENT.
GO, GO, GO, GO!
I SUPPOSE YOU JUST LIKE
SEEING ME LAYING AROUND
ALL THE TIME,
IS THAT IT?
NO, BUT I LIKE
HAVING MARY HOME.
MAYBE INSTEAD OF GROUSING,
YOU COULD TRY
SUPPORTING YOUR DAUGHTER.
YEAH.
[MAIL CLATTERS]
"DEAR SANTA CLAUS,
"I REALLY WOULD LIKE
A HAMSTER.
"MY MOMMY SAYS
I CAN'T HAVE A HAMSTER
"BECAUSE I ALREADY
HAVE A FISH,
"BUT I CAN'T CUDDLE
WITH A FISH,
"AND I WANT TO HAVE
SOMETHING TO CUDDLE WITH.
I LOVE YOU.
SIGNED, MORGAN."
[APPLAUSE]
"DEAR SANTA,
PLEASE BRING ME
A BIG COLORING BOOK
AND ALSO..."
WOW! WHAT IS
THIS PLACE?
PROCESSING.
THIS IS WHERE--
SHH!
HE'S ALMOST FINISHED!
"...McGILLICUDDY
BEAR FOR ME."
[APPLAUSE]
READING ALOUD,
SORTING BY HAND...
COULD THEY BE ANY
MORE INEFFICIENT?
WE OUGHT TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.
ANYWAY, THIS IS WHERE
YOU'RE GONNA BRING THE
LIST WHEN YOU'RE DONE.
GOTCHA. WAIT,
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
OH, I'M GONNA SEE A MAN
ABOUT A CHIMNEY.
[APPLAUSE]
AH-CHOO! WH--WH--WHOA!
NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE
DOING IT ALL WRONG.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
COME DOWN FEET FIRST.
I DID.
NO. GET BACK UP THERE.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
[GRUNTS]
I'M STUCK.
[SIGHS]
SHE'S STUCK.
SHE'S STUCK!
FIRE!
OH, MY!
GIVE IT HERE!
HOLD ON, GUYS. WAIT!
GARY! GARY,
WAIT! AAH!
[WHINES]
THERE IS NO FIRE.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
LET'S GO!
OH!
OH, NO!
OH, NO!
NO!
PULL!
COME ON, BOYS!
PULL HER OU OF THERE!
[GROANS]
OH! UH...
WAIT, WAIT! YOU DIDN' EAT ALL THE COOKIES!
AND THERE'S MORE.
OH. THIS SHOULD
BE GOOD.
"STOCKINGS HALF-FULL."
MM-HMM.
OH!
"PRESENT ARRANGEMEN SLOPPY.
NO JOLLINESS."
JOLLINESS, DAD?
PLEASE.
COME ON, MARY,
THIS IS SERIOUS.
YOU'VE ONLY GOT 3 WEEKS
TO GET THIS RIGHT.
THANKS FOR THE VOTE
OF CONFIDENCE.
DID YOU EVER STOP
TO THINK THA THERE MIGHT BE
MORE THAN ONE WAY
OF DOING THIS?
I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS
FOR CENTURIES,
AND I HAVEN'T HAD
A COMPLAINT YET.
WITH THAT ATTITUDE,
THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WOULD
STILL BE MAKING BICYCLES.
YEAH. WELL, DON' GET ME STARTED ON
THE WRIGHT BROTHERS.
FIRST IN FLIGHT,
MY ROSY RED CHEEKS!
NOW, LET'S GET BACK
UP THERE AND DO IT AGAIN
TILL YOU GET IT RIGHT!
YOU KNOW,
YOU'D THINK YOU'D
BE A LITTLE GRATEFUL.
YOU CALLED ME,
REMEMBER?
NO. YOUR MOTHER
CALLED YOU.
DAD, I'D TELL YOU
WHAT TO DO WITH
THIS STOCKING,
BUT I DON' WANT TO END UP
ON THE NAUGHTY LIST.
[LAUGHS LIGHTLY]
WAIT. I'M IN CHARGE
OF THE NAUGHTY LIST.
HERE'S YOUR STOCKING.
STUFF IT.
[SIGHS]
MY, MY.
ISN'T THIS
A FAMILIAR SIGHT?
HMM?
OH, RIGHT!
THE OLD
HOMEWORK CHAIR.
NO, NO.
I MEANT YOUR FATHER.
HE LOVES TO WORK
IN FRONT OF THE FIRE.
IT'S A SHAME
YOU TWO AREN'T CLOSER.
YOU'RE SO MUCH ALIKE.
MOM, WE'RE NOTHING ALIKE.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.
OF COURSE NOT.
YOUR FATHER'S JUS A BIG WORKAHOLIC WHO
NEVER LISTENS TO ANYONE.
[TYPING]
WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON?
IT'S WORK.
MARY CLASS
OF CLASS CONSULTING.
SOUNDS VERY PROFESSIONAL.
I SUPPOSE YOU GOT TIRED
OF YOUR LAST NAME.
ONE LITTLE LETTER,
MOM. NOT A BIG DEAL.
NO. I GUESS IT ISN'T A BIG
DEAL TO A GIRL WHO HASN' BEEN HOME FOR 10 YEARS.
4 YEARS, MOM.
AND YOU
COULD HAVE VISITED.
YOU FATHER DOESN' LIKE TO TRAVEL.
DOESN'T LIKE TO TRAVEL?
[LAUGHS]
I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED
IN YOUR TEST RUN
THIS AFTERNOON.
OH, MARY,
YOUR FATHER'S TRYING.
IF YOU COULD JUS MEET HIM HALFWAY.
WHAT? MOM, THERE IS
NO HALFWAY WITH DAD.
THERE NEVER HAS BEEN.
YOU SHOULD KNOW THA BETTER THAN ANYONE.
YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING UP
WITH IT FOR YEARS.
MARRIAGE
IS ABOUT COMPROMISE.
COMPROMISE? WHEN
IS THE LAST TIME DAD
COMPROMISED ON ANYTHING?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
FORGET I ASKED.
[SIGHS]
[MACHINES CLACKING,
PEOPLE TYPING]
PADDLING PENGUINS!
MORNING, TEAM!
WHAT'S ALL THIS?
PROGRESS, LUKE.
THIS DEPARTMEN IS DEAD WEIGHT.
THESE NEW WORKERS
WILL BURN THROUGH
THE LETTERS IN NO TIME.
NO MORE READING ALOUD,
NO MORE SORTING BY HAND,
NO MORE WASTING TIME.
BUT IT WAS
MY TURN TO READ.
NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
OOH, DONNA,
DO ME A FAVOR AND
COORDINATE WITH BOB
TO GET ON SOME
DATA PROCESSING.
BOB?
OH, HE'S
OUR NEW I.T. GUY.
YOU'RE SURE MAKING
YOUR MARK, HUH?
BOY, YOU ARE HERE
AN AWFUL LOT.
DON'T YOU HAVE
A BUSINESS TO RUN?
YEAH, I DO,
BUT I'M ALSO YOUR MAILMAN.
IT'S A BUSY SEASON,
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE.
BUT LUKE,
SNAIL-MAIL IS HISTORY.
BY NEXT YEAR, WE'LL BE
100% ELECTRONIC.
THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT?
SURE. WHY NOT?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE SOME THINGS
ARE SACRED?
BOB?
OOH!
OW!
OOH!
OH, HI.
HI.
I'M DONNA,
MARY'S ASSISTANT.
HEY, I'M BOB.
I.T.
MARY JUST WANTED ME
TO GO OVER SOME
STUFF WITH YOU.
OH, COOL.
I'M ALMOST DONE.
COULD YOU PASS ME
THAT CABLE RIGHT THERE?
SURE.
UH, THE BLUE ONE.
SO, HOW'D YOU GE THIS JOB?
TEMP AGENCY.
YOU KNOW, THEY TAKE THA "WILLING TO RELOCATE"
BOX REALLY SERIOUSLY.
[CHUCKLES]
THANKS.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
HEY, LUKE.
MORNING.
HI.
NOPE.
NO.
[JANGLES]
NOPE.
Robot:
PREPARE LASERS.
YES.
WHAT IS THIS,
THE FIFTIES?
WHERE DO YOU WANT THIS?
JUST PUT IT OVER THERE.
[LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]
WHAT IS THIS FOR?
YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU COULD USE SOME.
RIBBON CANDY?
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU REMEMBER.
IT ALWAYS WAS
YOUR FAVORITE, RIGHT?
[SIGHS]
[LAUGHS]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RINGS]
[RINGS]
[BEEPS]
HEY, FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
DO I HAVE YOU
TO THANK FOR THIS?
I WAS WORRIED YOU
MIGHT GO INTO SHOCK
IF YOU DIDN'T GE YOUR JAMAICAN BLUE FIX.
DO THEY EVEN HAVE
ESPRESSO MACHINES UP THERE
IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH?
I'M SURE I CAN
DIG ONE UP.
GRANT, I AM SO SORRY
I HAVEN'T BEEN IN TOUCH.
[HORN]
IT'S OK. I'M SURE
YOUR PLATE'S PRETTY FULL.
STOP!
IT'S STUCK!
OK!
YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE.
IT'S JUST BEEN SO CRAZY
HERE WITH MY FAMILY
AND THE SPOTLIGHT STUFF.
YEAH. WELL, WE'RE ALL
DYING TO SEE WHA YOU'VE COME UP WITH.
YEAH. YOU KNOW,
IT MIGHT TAKE A LITTLE
LONGER THAN EXPECTED.
[GRUNTS]
UHH!
ALL RIGHT!
I GOT IT!
[APPLAUSE]
[WHOOSHING]
AAH!
WHOA!
Grant: MARY?
GRANT, I GOTTA GO.
I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
OK, BYE.
Claire:
YES, MR. FOLEY?
CLAIRE,
TALK TO THE MAILROOM.
FIND OUT WHERE
WE'VE BEEN SHIPPING ALL
THE MARY CLASS DOCUMENTS.
RIGHT AWAY.
GOOD.
[GRUNTS]
OH, COME ON! DASHER!
YOU NEVER LIKED ME.
UHH!
[SIGHS]
YOU'LL NEVER
GET HIM THAT WAY.
OH, RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW
THE SECRET REINDEER CODE.
IT'S ALL ABOU MOTIVATION, MARY.
[DASHER CHOMPS CARROT]
WELL, I HOPE
YOU WEREN'T PLANNING
ON TAKING HER UP.
WHAT, I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH
TO BORROW THE FAMILY CAR?
WELL, IT'S
A LOT MORE COMPLICATED
THAN THAT, MARY.
ONLY BECAUSE YOU MAKE I MORE COMPLICATED.
NO, NO, NO. THESE AREN' LIKE YOUR MACHINES.
YOU DON'T JUST GO
PUSHING SOME BUTTON.
I KNOW, I KNOW!
NO, YOU DON'T KNOW.
WELL, MAYBE IF YOU WOULD
HAVE TAKEN ME JUST ONCE,
BUT YOU HAD TO KEEP
ALL YOUR SECRETS.
SECRETS? THAT'S WHAT YOU
THINK THIS IS ALL ABOUT?
SECRETS?!
YES!
NO. WAIT.
THEY CAN TELL IF
YOU DON'T BELIEVE
IN CHRISTMAS, MARY.
BELIEVE IN CHRISTMAS?
MM-HMM.
I'M SANTA'S DAUGHTER.
AND THERE'S
A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
KNOWING AND BELIEVING.
THEY'RE NOT GONNA
FLY FOR YOU, MARY.
YES, THEY WILL.
ALL RIGHT,
COME ON, COME ON.
THAT'S IT. COME ON.
ALL RIGHT, PERFECT.
NO, NO, NO. WHERE
ARE YOU GOING?
NO. COME ON. COME ON,
COME ON. COME ON!
YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME
I'D FIND YOU HERE.
OH! THESE GUYS
ARE AS STUBBORN
AS MY FATHER IS.
HEH HEH! YEAH, THA RUNS IN THE FAMILY.
HA HA! OH,
VERY FUNNY.
LET ME HELP.
HEY, THAT'S A BOY.
YOU WERE ALWAYS SO GREA WITH THE ANIMALS.
I THINK WE WERE
A GREAT TEAM.
[LAUGHS]
EXCUSE ME, BUT I WAS
MORE OF A LEADER.
OH. OH, OK. WELL,
BY ALL MEANS,
PLEASE LEAD ON.
YOU KNOW,
I CAN DO TH--
[THUD]
UH-HUH.
[LAUGHS]
SHUT UP.
NO, NO.
I FEEL VERY SAFE.
[LAUGHS]
STOP IT!
OH, STUPID REINDEER!
I THINK MY DAD
BRAINWASHED THEM.
NOW, IF WE JUS TIE THE REINDEER
TO THE DOGS,
THEN WE'D BE
IN BUSINESS.
[LAUGHS]
HERE. GIVE IT TO ME
FOR A SECOND.
I WANT TO SHOW YOU
SOMETHING.
OH! EVERYTHING'S FROZEN.
IT'S JUST THE WAY
WE LEFT IT.
IS THAT A BAD THING?
HEY, I'M NO THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTED
TO GET OUT OF THIS TOWN.
I REMEMBER A CERTAIN
SOMEONE WANTING TO
PLAY FOR THE LEAFS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
I MADE IT PAST TRYOUTS.
I DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM.
SO, YOU COULD HAVE
STAYED IN THE CITY
AND GOT A JOB.
YEAH. IT WASN'T ME.
SO YOU'RE OK
WITH POLARIS?
YEAH, SURE.
I MEAN, I GO A GREAT BUSINESS
MUSHING TOURISTS
AROUND,
TRAINING DOGS.
AND THEN
THERE'S CHRISTMAS.
HARD TO BEAT THA EVERY YEAR.
HMM.
WOW.
NOT BAD, HUH?
NOT BAD AT ALL.
BET THEY DON' HAVE THAT IN THE CITY.
LUKE, I'M SORRY ABOU WHAT HAPPENED WITH US.
I KNOW
I LEFT KIND OF QUICK.
[LAUGHS] QUICK?
I CAME TO PICK YOU UP
FOR A MOVIE.
YOUR PARENTS SAID
YOU MOVED.
YEAH. I COULD HAVE
HANDLED THAT BETTER.
I JUST HAD TO
GET OUT OF HERE.
I HAD TO GET A LIFE
OF MY OWN.
THERE WAS NO PLACE
FOR ME ANYMORE.
I CAME HOME 4 YEARS AGO
AND YOU WEREN'T HERE.
MAYBE I WAS OU LOOKING FOR YOU.
WERE YOU REALLY?
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHTER]
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
IN MY DEFENSE, THOUGH,
I LOOKED, ALL I SAW
WAS THIS QUICK FLASH
OF WHITE FUR!
[LAUGHTER]
SO, ANYWAY,
HE GOES BARRELING
OVER THE MOUNTAIN,
SCREAMING,
"POLAR BEAR,
POLAR BEAR!"
AND RIGHT BEHIND HIM
IS THIS HORRIBLY
MENACING RABBIT,
HOPPING FORWARD
AND FORWARD.
[LAUGHTER]
IT WAS HIS FACE!
YEAH, WHATEVER.
HA HA HA HA!
IT'S TRUE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS. HEH!
GRANT!
COME IN!
HI.
[QUIET TALKING
AND LAUGHTER]
Grant: WOW,
WHAT A JOURNEY.
QUITE THE SLOG
TO GET HERE.
[LAUGHS WEAKLY]
HELLO!
GRANT?
WHO'S GRANT?
MOM, THIS IS--
GRANT FOLEY,
AND MAY I SAY,
IT'S A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU.
I CAN SEE WHERE MARY
GETS HER GOOD LOOKS.
WELL, AREN'T YOU THE
SILVER-TONGUED DEVIL?
Mary: GRANT,
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
WELL, I'M HERE TO HELP.
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY
OVERWORKED, SO I
THOUGHT I'D LEND A HAND.
HEY.
UKE, THIS IS GRANT.
HE IS--
THE BOYFRIEND.
BOYFRIEND?
GRANT,
THIS IS LUKE.
HE'S MY--
HE'S, WELL--
HE'S--HE'S
THE MAILMAN.
OH! HEH! NICE TO
MEET YOU, BUDDY.
YEAH. YOU, TOO.
AND THIS IS BOB.
HEY. I.T.
WHAT'S UP?
HELLO.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[CLEARS THROAT]
UH, I, UH...
I SHOULD GET GOING.
YEAH. LUKE, I, UH...
THANKS FOR YOUR HELP
WITH EVERYTHING.
SURE.
SO, COZY LITTLE PLACE
YOU'VE GOT HERE.
IT'S QUITE
THE HOLIDAY HIDEAWAY.
HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
NOW THAT I'M HERE,
YOU'LL HAVE TO
SHOW ME AROUND.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
WHERE YOU GREW UP.
GRANT, THERE'S
SOMETHING THA I NEED TO TELL YOU
ABOUT MY FAMILY.
WELL, MY FAMILY'S
BUSINESS.
I GET IT.
CHRISTMAS TCHOTCHKES
FROM WAY UP NORTH.
THAT'S YOUR HOOK,
RIGHT?
CUTE IDEA.
WELL, ACTUALLY,
WE'RE TOYMAKERS.
REALLY? FANTASTIC.
WHAT KIND?
WELL, ALL KINDS.
HMM.
MAYBE I SHOULD
SHOW YOU AROUND.
YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO
SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT.
OK.
YEAH.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
HEH!
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Mary: SO,
HERE'S THE WORKSHOP.
THIS IS WHERE
THE MAGIC HAPPENS.
Grant: INCREDIBLE.
REALLY INCREDIBLE.
JUST WHEN YOU THINK
YOU KNOW A GIRL.
GRANT, I'M SORRY
I NEVER TOLD YOU
ABOUT ANY OF THIS.
I USUALLY LIKE TO KEEP
THIS PART OF MY LIFE--
A SECRET?
SEPARATE.
WELL, THIS PLACE
IS UNBELIEVABLE.
YEAH, WELL, IT'S A LO MORE COMPLICATED HERE
THAN YOU THINK.
IT'S NOT ALL SUNSHINE
AND SUGAR PLUMS.
MY DAD--
HEY, WHEN DO I
GET TO MEET HIM?
LOOK, I AM SO HAPPY
YOU'RE HERE,
BUT IT IS NO A GOOD TIME FOR ME.
I'M KIND OF BURIED,
TRYING TO GET THIS
WORKSHOP AUTOMATED.
HEY, OK.
WHY DON'T I JUS GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR?
I'LL WORK ON
THE SPOTLIGHT STUFF
IN MY ROOM.
YOU'D DO THAT?
OF COURSE I WOULD,
FOR YOU.
[JINGLE BELL ROCK
INTRO PLAYING]
JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL,
JINGLE BELL ROCK
JINGLE BELL SWING
AND JINGLE BELLS RING
SNOWIN' AND BLOWIN' UP
BUSHELS OF FUN
NOW THE JINGLE HOP
HAS BEGUN
JINGLE BELL,
JINGLE BELL...
Santa: A MACHINE
FOR TOYMAKING?
MARY, THIS IS MADNESS!
GO TO BED!
GO! GO!
DANCIN' AND PRANCIN'
IN JINGLE BELL SQUARE
IN THE FROSTY AIR
WHAT A BRIGHT TIME
IT'S THE RIGHT TIME
TO ROCK THE NIGHT AWAY
JINGLE BELL TIME
IS A SWELL TIME
TO GO RIDIN' IN
A ONE-HORSE SLEIGH
GIDDY-UP, JINGLE HORSE,
PICK UP YOUR FEET
JINGLE
AROUND THE CLOCK
MIX AND MINGLE
IN A JINGLIN' BEAT
THAT'S THE
JINGLE BELL ROCK...
WHERE ARE THEY
ALL GOING?
NO, I'M TAKING OVER
THE WORK SHIFT.
THESE PRESENTS AREN' GONNA WRAP THEMSELVES.
NO! THIS IS THE WAY
IT'S GOTTA BE!
...JINGLE BELL ROCK
DANCIN' AND PRANCIN'
IN JINGLE BELL SQUARE
IN THE FROSTY AIR
WHAT A BRIGHT TIME
IT'S THE RIGHT TIME
TO ROCK THE NIGHT AWAY
JINGLE BELL TIME
IS A SWELL TIME
TO GO GLIDIN' IN
A ONE-HORSE SLEIGH
GIDDY-UP, JINGLE HORSE,
PICK UP YOUR FEET
JINGLE
AROUND THE CLOCK
MIX AND MINGLE
IN A JINGLIN' BEAT
THAT'S THE JINGLE BELL
THAT'S THE
JINGLE BELL
THAT'S THE
JINGLE BELL ROCK
[BELL DINGS]
COOKIE BREAK!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
GET 'EM WHILE
THEY'RE HOT, FOLKS!
WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
COOKIE BREAK.
COOKIE BREAK?
YOU JUST HAD
A CANDY CANE BREAK
17 MINUTES AGO.
YEAH. SO?
SO, BREAKS GO IN
BETWEEN WORK, NO THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
OH, COME ON.
WE'RE ALREADY
WAY BEHIND SCHEDULE.
HOW MANY MORE
COOKIE BREAKS
DO WE HAVE TODAY?
OH, NONE.
GOOD. HEH! OK, GOOD.
JUST, WHEN YOU'RE DONE,
GO BACK TO WORK.
OH, BUT WE HAVE
A GINGERBREAD MAN BREAK
IN 45 MINUTES.
THAT'S IT!
NO MORE BREAKS!
NO MORE COOKIES,
CANDY CANES,
GINGERBREAD,
OR HOT COCOA! NO!
ALL RIGHT. EVERYBODY
GOT A COOKIE?
YEAH!
YEAH!
LAST ONE TO EA THEIR COOKIE IS
A ROTTEN EGGNOG! GO!
[EXCITED CHATTER]
HOW'S IT GOING
WITH I.T. BOB?
YOU GUYS WORKING
WELL TOGETHER?
OH, YEAH.
EVERYTHING'S GREAT.
I MEAN, SURE.
I SUPPOSE.
MM-HMM.
SO, WHAT ABOU YOU AND LUKE?
HE'S CUTE.
YEAH, IF YOU LIKE
THAT SORT OF THING.
THAT RUGGED
YET SENSITIVE,
CHARMING AND FUNNY
MOUNTAIN MAN
KIND OF THING?
DONNA, SHUT UP
GRANT'S HERE.
SO, DID YOU
AND LUKE EVER...
OH, LET'S CHANGE
THE SUBJECT, SHALL WE?
OK. WHAT HAPPENS
IN THE NORTH POLE
STAYS IN
THE NORTH POLE.
OH!
DAD!
SANTA?
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
UH, JUST...
LOOKING FOR THIS.
REALLY? A LOT OF
STAPLING TO DO, HUH?
TONS. YOU BETCHA.
DAD, IS LYING
NAUGHTY OR NICE?
COME ON, MARY.
YOU CAN'T JUS EXPECT ME
TO SIT AROUND
AND WATCH YOU--
WATCH ME WHAT?
SCREW EVERYTHING UP?
CHANGE EVERYTHING.
[DOOR OPENS]
MARY, I JUST WANTED TO
GIVE YOU A HEADS UP.
WE'RE CAUGHT UP
ON ALL THE LETTERS,
AND WE'RE GONNA STAR MATCHING IT TO THE LIST.
EXCELLENT, BOB.
THANK YOU. I'LL BE
RIGHT THERE.
AHEM!
WHEN'S THE LAS TIME YOU FINISHED
THE LETTERS THIS EARLY?
DAD, THIS PLACE
NEEDED CHANGE.
WE CHANGE. ASK SKIP.
WE'RE USING
THAT NEWFANGLED
INVISIBLE TAPE NOW.
DAD.
JUST BECAUSE
IT'S NEW DOESN' MAKE IT BETTER, MARY.
CHRISTMAS IS ABOU TRADITION.
OH, YOU WANT TRADITION.
YEAH.
OK. WELL, HOW'S THIS
FOR TRADITION?
WOODEN TRAINS.
WHAT?
YOU USED TO LOVE
TO MAKE WOODEN TRAINS.
BY YOURSELF,
WITH YOUR HANDS.
WHEN IS THE LAST TIME
YOU DID THAT?
WHO HAS TIME ANYMORE?
HA! EXACTLY!
THE WORLD IS CHANGING.
WHETHER YOU LIKE I OR NOT,
THERE'S A LOT MORE
KIDS TODAY,
AND YOU
JUST CAN'T KEEP UP.
YEAH,
I'M STILL SANTA,
AND SO I STILL
KNOW WHAT'S BES FOR CHRISTMAS.
OH, FORGET IT!
YOU'RE GOING.
COME ON.
THERE ARE ONLY
2 WORDS IN BED REST,
AND YOU'RE DOING
NEITHER OF THEM.
OH, I'LL WALK HIM BACK.
THANKS, DONNA.
SUCH A DEAR GIRL.
DONNA LOUISE CAMPBELL,
312 OAK DRIVE. I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO ASK YOU,
HOW DID THAT DREAM HOUSE
WORK OUT FOR YOU?
DAD, QUIT SHOWING OFF.
WHAT DO YOU WAN FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR?
WELL, I ACTUALLY NEED
SOME NEW SOCKS.
SURE.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
IT'S WHAT YOU WANTED,
BUT IT'S NOT REALLY
A CANE.
NO. IT'S EVEN BETTER,
AND LOOK.
YOU CAN HANG IT ON A TREE
FROM EITHER END.
YEAH, BU IT'S NOT A CANE.
GARY, DON'T ARGUE.
JUST MAKE A MILLION
OF THEM.
GRANT!
HELLO, BEAUTIFUL.
I CAME TO SEE YOU
LAST NIGHT,
AND I COULDN'T FIND YOU.
I WAS INSPIRED.
VOILA!
I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE AN ARTIST.
HOW'D YOU DO IT?
THE ELVES. THEY'RE
TALENTED LITTLE BUGGERS
IF YOU CAN
KEEP THEM ON-TASK
AND OFF THE COCOA.
[LAUGHS] CUTE.
WHAT'S IT SUPPOSED TO BE?
THE FUTURE, MARY.
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF.
DESTINATION SHOPPING.
CAN YOU THINK OF
A BETTER DESTINATION
THAN SANTA'S VILLAGE?
IT'S LIKE
AN AMUSEMENT PARK
WITH BIGGER STORES.
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE.
HOTELS, RESTAURANTS,
RIDES, AND STORES.
LOTS AND LOTS
OF STORES.
GRANT, YOU CAN' BRING PEOPLE HERE.
WHY NOT? DID YOU
THINK THAT YOU COULD
KEEP ALL THIS
A SECRET FOREVER?
THIS PLACE HAS BEEN
A SECRET FOREVER,
AND IT'S GONNA
STAY THAT WAY.
YOU CAN' STAND IN THE WAY
OF PROGRESS, MARY.
THIS IS DIFFERENT!
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?
I THOUGHT THIS IS
WHAT WE WANTED,
WHAT WE
ALWAYS DREAMED OF.
GRANT, THIS IS MY HOME,
NOT A SHOPPING MALL.
PROMISE ME
YOU'LL DESTROY THIS!
WELL, MAYBE IT IS
A BIT MUCH.
PROMISE ME!
LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT!
HERE I COME!
WHOA! WHOA!
[CRASH]
GO.
WE'LL TALK LATER.
[ELF SHOUTING]
I MEAN IT.
Luke: I'M TELLING YOU,
IT HAPPENED.
WOW.
Santa: LOOK AT THIS.
IT'S VERY NICE
TO MEET YOU, SIR.
GRANT FOLEY.
HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU
IN QUITE A WHILE.
NO. I GUESS
YOU HAVEN'T.
NICHOLAS.
MOTHER, WELL DONE!
PLEASE, EVERYONE,
SIT DOWN.
GREAT. THANK YOU.
IT LOOKS GREAT.
Santa: AHH!
WELL, I MUST SAY,
THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE.
IF I WEREN'T HERE MYSELF,
I WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
MARY'S FRIENDS
ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.
GO AHEAD. TAKE ONE.
HA HA!
HERE YOU GO.
THIS REALLY IS SOME AMAZING
SET-UP YOU HAVE HERE.
DO YOU OWN ALL
THE PROPERTY IN THE VALLEY?
THE MOUNTAINS
AND EVERYTHING?
I'D HAVE TO CHECK
THE PAPERWORK,
BUT WE'VE BEEN HERE
QUITE A WHILE.
THE DETAILS, THEY GE A LITTLE FUZZY.
IT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.
PRIME REAL ESTATE.
IS THAT SO?
HEY, MAILMAN, DO YOU
MIND OVERNIGHTING ME
THOSE PEAS?
GRANT!
WHAT? I'M KIDDING.
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY]
SURE.
THANKS, BUDDY.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
AHH!
AHEM!
SO, SIR, I COULDN' HELP BUT NOTICING
YOUR RATHER
INTERESTING
TROPHY THERE.
OH, YES, WELL,
I'M AFRAID
BLITZEN AND I
HAD A BIT OF A SPA BACK IN '81.
HE LEFT ME NO CHOICE.
[LAUGHS]
[ SANTA LAUGHING]
HE'S PULLING YOUR LEG.
IT'S A FAKE.
I GOT IT IN A FLEA MARKET.
HEE HEE HEE!
HEE HEE HEE HEE!
EHH...
AHEM!
SO, GRANT,
YOU MUST HAVE
CHRISTMAS PLANS
BACK HOME WITH
YOUR FAMILY?
FUNNY YOU SHOULD
MENTION FAMILY.
MR. CLAUS, I KNOW THA YOU GET A LOT OF REQUESTS
THIS TIME OF YEAR,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
YEAH. UH, YES.
WELL, IN THAT SPIRIT,
THERE'S SOMETHING I'D
LIKE TO ASK OF YOU.
OH?
MARY AND I HAVE BEEN
SEEING EACH OTHER
FOR QUITE SOME TIME,
AND WHILE I WAS GOING TO
WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS DAY,
I JUST COULDN'T HOPE
FOR BETTER COMPANY,
SO I'D LIKE TO ASK MARY
A VERY SPECIAL QUESTION.
[CLEARS THROAT]
WOULD YOU DO ME
THE HONOR OF
BEING MY WIFE?
I...UH...
EXCUSE ME.
AHEM!
[DOOR CLOSES]
UH...
HEY, COULD I GE THE BUTTER, PLEASE?
WHAT'S WRONG?
GRANT, GRANT, GRANT.
IT'S NOT EXACTLY
THE REACTION
I WAS HOPING FOR.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
GEE, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE THAT I LOVE YOU
AND THAT WE SHOULD
BE TOGETHER FOR
THE REST OF OUR LIVES?
YEAH, BUT WHY NOW?
BECAUSE WE'RE HERE
WITH YOUR PARENTS.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
THE PERFECT MOMENT.
[LAUGHS LIGHTLY]
I'M GONNA NEED
SOME TIME.
WE CAN WAI AS LONG AS YOU WANT.
6 MONTHS, A YEAR--
TIME ISN'T GONNA CHANGE
HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU.
WHY SHOULD IT CHANGE
HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME?
WE BELONG TOGETHER,
MARY.
I LOVE YOU.
JUST...
EXCUSE ME.
HAVE SOME SPROUTS.
MMM!
[COUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
CONGRATULATIONS?
DONNA.
WHAT EXACTLY
IS GOING ON?
I DON'T KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW!
MAYBE HE
REALLY MISSED ME.
SO THIS WAS HIS PLAN
ALL ALONG?
HE'S PROBABLY
BEEN PLANNING THIS
FOR MONTHS.
MAYBE EVEN
AT THANKSGIVING.
THAT'S WHY HE WANTED ME
TO GO TO HIS PARENTS'.
HMM.
WHAT?
DID HE BRING A RING?
[DOG WHINING]
STAY. GOOD BOY.
LEAVING BEFORE PIE?
I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME.
IT WAS A MISTAKE.
THE ONLY MISTAKE I SEE
IS GIVING UP BEFORE
THE RACE IS OVER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
LUKE,
YOU'VE BEEN
HANGING OUT HERE
FOR 20 YEARS.
NOBODY LIKES THE ELVES
THAT MUCH--
NOT EVEN ME.
BIT OF ADVICE--
IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO
JUST WANT SOMETHING
FOR CHRISTMAS.
YOU'VE GOT TO ASK FOR IT.
GOOD NIGHT.
HEY, DONNA.
BROUGHT YOU
SOME LEFTOVERS.
THANKS.
SO I NOTICED
YOU NEVER WEAR
ANYTHING CHRISTMASY.
YEAH. I JUST BROUGH WHAT I HAD.
WELL, I BROUGHT YOU
SOMETHING.
OH. UH, WHAT IS THAT?
HOLLY?
MISTLETOE.
[LAUGHS]
YOU MOVE REALLY FAST.
I DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF FREE TIME.
SANTA BABY,
A '54 CONVERTIBLE TOO,
LIGHT BLUE
I'LL WAIT UP FOR YOU,
DEAR, SANTA BABY
SO HURRY DOWN
THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT
THINK OF ALL
THE FUN I'VE MISSED
THINK OF ALL THE FELLAS
THAT I HAVEN'T KISSED
NEXT YEAR, I COULD BE
JUST AS GOOD
IF YOU'D CHECK OU MY CHRISTMAS LIST
[SIGHS]
HERE YOU GO, DAD.
HERE'S YOUR
TOFU SCRAMBLE AGAIN.
MOM'S MAKING SOME
WHOLE WHEAT PANCAKES.
WE'RE JUST TRYING TO
FIGURE OU HOW TO MAKE IT WITHOU BUTTER OR SYRUP.
YUM, YUM.
INTERESTING FELLOW,
THAT GRANT.
DON'T START, DAD.
WHAT? I'M JUST SAYING.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
NICE TO MEET HIM
ONCE OR TWICE
BEFORE YOU TWO
GOT SO SERIOUS.
BELIEVE ME,
I DIDN'T KNOW
WE WERE THAT SERIOUS.
HI, BOSS--I MEAN,
HI...BOSS.
'CAUSE NOW...
SHE'S NOW...
GARY.
HMM?
WHAT IS IT?
OH.
THOUGHT YOU MIGH LIKE TO TAKE
A LOOK AT THIS.
HA! STILL THINK
I COULDN'T DO IT?
OH! PRODUCTIVITY UP...
A MILLION PERCENT.
WAIT.
IS THAT RIGHT?
YOU BETCHA!
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
YOU'RE MAKING
A MILLION TIMES
MORE TOYS THAN
YOU WERE BEFORE?
A MILLION TIMES MORE?
UHH! I WISH!
IF ANYTHING, WE'RE
FALLING WAY BEHIND.
UHH!
YOU STILL DON'T KNOW
WHAT PRODUCTIVITY
MEANS, DO YOU?
YES. IT'S WHEN,
IF YOU HAVE A--
WHEN, YOU KNOW--NO.
[SIGHS]
[SNICKERS]
WHAT ABOU ALL THE REPORTS?
WELL, YOU SAID
YOU WANTED TO SEE REPORTS
THAT SAID
PRODUCTIVITY WAS UP.
THAT'S WHAT I GAVE YOU.
OK, BUT WHAT ABOU ALL THE CHANGES?
WHAT ABOUT THE MACHINE?
YEAH. THAT MACHINE?
IT'S NOT WORKING OU AS WELL AS YOU'D HOPED.
AHEM!
[BEEPS]
[SQUEAKS AND WHISTLES]
WHERE ARE THE INSIDES?
THE GEARS, THE COGS?
OH, THEY JUS GOT IN THE WAY.
[SQUEAKS]
THE MACHINE IS
SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE TOYS!
YEAH. THAT'S WHAT--
WAIT. WHAT?!
GARY, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
DOING ALL THIS TIME?
[SIGHS]
UHH!
UHH! UHH! UHH!
UHH!
NICE FORM.
[GASPS] LUKE.
[SNIFFS]
HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING?
[SNIFFLING AND CRYING]
I SCREWED UP.
WHAT?
I SCREWED UP BAD.
I, UM...
[SNIFFS]
I RUINED CHRISTMAS.
MARY, COME ON.
IT CAN'T BE
ALL THAT BAD.
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TOYS.
THE ELVES ARE EVEN MORE
CONFUSED THAN USUAL.
AND EVERYBODY'S UNHAPPY,
AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
MARY, COME ON. DON'T BE
SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
I MEAN,
IT'S AN IMPOSSIBLE JOB.
LOOK HOW MUCH YOU'VE
GOTTEN DONE ALREADY.
DO YOU THINK
WE'D BE BETTER OFF
IF YOU HADN' TAKEN OVER?
TELL THAT TO THE KIDS.
I WON'T HAVE TO.
IT'S CHRISTMAS.
IT WORKS OUT.
IT ALWAYS DOES.
THANKS.
FOR WHAT?
FOR BEING ON MY SIDE.
YOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW
TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
THANKS, BUT I
REALLY DON'T THINK
RIBBON CANDY'S
GONNA FIX THIS ONE.
[LAUGHS]
WHERE DID YOU
GET THOSE?
ALWAYS BE PREPARED.
WELL, WELL, WELL,
THE OLD SEDUCTION KIT.
YEAH.
[COUGHS]
HAS THIS STUFF
BEEN UP HERE
ALL THOSE YEARS?
SINCE PROM.
OH! HA HA HA!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY
ANYTHING THAT NIGHT?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
I WAS JUST A KID.
YOUR DAD KNOWS IF
I'VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD.
AND THEN YOU LEFT.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T EXACTLY
STAY IN TOUCH, DID YOU?
I GUESS WE BOTH
MADE SOME MISTAKES.
I GUESS SO.
[ENGINE STARTS]
OH, MY GOD! GRANT!
MARY! MARY, WAIT!
GRANT, WAIT!
GRANT!
[SIGHS]
GRANT! GRANT,
PLEASE! I'M SORRY!
SOMEHOW I DOUBT THAT.
CHEATING ON ME, MARY?
ON ME?
AND WITH THA ICEBERG HILLBILLY?
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
OH, REALLY? WHICH PART?
THE PART WHERE I
CATCH YOU IN THE ARMS
OF ANOTHER MAN
OR THE PART WHERE YOU
THROW BOTH OUR CAREERS
OUT THE WINDOW?
I'M SORRY.
WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO SAY?
I DIDN'T PLAN
ANY OF THIS.
OH, PLEASE.
I THOUGHT I LEFT THIS
ALL BEHIND ME.
BUT I CAN'T...
CAN'T HELP HOW I FEEL.
LUKE IS--
THERE ARE MORE IMPORTAN THINGS AT STAKE HERE
THAN THE MAILMAN.
IS THAT--?
I TOLD YOU
TO DESTROY THAT!
THE BIGGES BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY
THAT EITHER OF US HAS
EVER HAD A CRACK AT.
I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU
SCREW THIS UP, MARY.
I HAD CORPORATE
RUN SOME NUMBERS.
YOU DID WHAT?!
GRANT, I TRUSTED YOU!
YEAH.
L, I TRUSTED YOU.
SEE WHERE THAT GOT ME?
[GASPS]
I'M TAKING THIS
TO THE BOARD TO
PITCH MY IDEA.
IF YOU'RE SMART,
YOU'LL COME WITH ME.
YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND.
FINE. ENJOY THE PEACE
AND QUIET, MARY,
'CAUSE WHEN NEX CHRISTMAS ROLLS AROUND,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
SOME NEW NEIGHBORS.
NOW, HOLD I RIGHT THERE, YOUNG MAN.
WHAT DO YOU WANT, SIR?
OH, IT'S NOT ABOU WHAT I WANT, GRANT.
IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.
OH, THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
HONK, HONK!
IT'S A RED RADIO FLYER.
JUST LIKE THE ONE
YOU WANTED--
WHEN I WAS 6!
GET A CLUE,
YOU OLD COOT!
I DON'T DO
LITTLE RED WAGONS.
I DO RED
ITALIAN SPORTS CARS,
AND I CAN BUY ONE
MYSELF.
YOU LEAVE ME
NO CHOICE. BOYS.
GET HIM.
[KARATE YELLS]
ON 3...
3!
HYAH!
OH!
UHH!
UHH!
OH!
UHH!
OW!
YEAH.
I GOT IT!
YOU GOT IT!
OW! OW!
MARY,
IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
GRANT, DON'T DO THIS.
COME WITH ME.
[LAUGHS]
[ELVES SQUABBLING]
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
COME ON, GET UP.
GET OUT OF HERE.
COME ON.
UHH!
UHH!
[SIGHS]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RINGS]
[RINGS]
[RINGS]
[RINGS]
HELLO?
OK.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
OK. I GOTTA RUN.
[EXHALES]
MARY NEEDS ME.
OK.
I HAD A LOT OF FUN.
CALL ME!
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
PROBABLY ANOTHER
STAFF MEETING.
OH.
WELL, GANG,
TIME'S UP.
I KNOW YOU ALL
DID A LOT OF WORK,
BUT I'M AFRAID
I LET YOU DOWN.
I TRIED
RUNNING THINGS MY WAY,
AND, WELL, WE ALL SEE
WHERE THAT GOT US.
AND BECAUSE OF ME,
SOMEBODY CAME HERE
WHO DIDN'T BELONG,
AND I MAY HAVE
JEOPARDIZED
OUR FUTURE HERE.
I'M SO SORRY.
I TOOK AWAY
THE JOY OF CHRISTMAS.
WELL...
NO MORE.
IT'S HIGH TIME
WE HAD A COOKIE BREAK.
[ELVES GASP]
YOU ALL DESERVE IT!
[APPLAUSE, LAUGHTER,
AND CHEERING]
COOKIE BREAK!
YEAH!
[CHATTER AND CHEERING]
COOKIES FOR EVERYBODY!
HA HA HA HA!
COME ON, COME ON.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
["MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY"
PLAYING]
[OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS
AND LAUGHTER]
...WE'RE ON TO
THE FUTURE NOW
IT'S ONLY JUST BEGUN
HO, HO, HO!
[MUSIC CONTINUES
PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
THAT WAS QUITE
A SPEECH YOU GAVE.
I HAVEN'T SEEN
THE ELVES THAT HAPPY
IN A LONG TIME.
I REALLY BLEW IT.
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN
SO WRONG ABOUT SOMEBODY?
WHAT IF
I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING?
YOU JUST HAVE TO
BELIEVE, MARY.
IF THE GRANT MESS
ISN'T ENOUGH,
HOW CAN WE HAVE CHRISTMAS
WITHOUT ENOUGH TOYS?
COME ON. I WANT TO
SHOW YOU SOMETHING.
COME. COME ON.
COME ON.
[GASPS]
DAD!
YEAH.
WHERE DID YOU
GET ALL THESE?
IT TURNS OUT I HAD
A LOT OF FREE TIME
ON MY HANDS
SINCE YOU TOOK OVER.
OH, MY GOSH.
YEP.
IS IT REALLY ENOUGH?
AS LONG AS YOU BELIEVE,
YOU'RE READY TO GO.
Mrs. Claus:
IT'S OUT WITH THE NEW ONE,
IN WITH THE OLD.
PUT SOME MUSCLE INTO IT.
MRS. C, MRS. C!
I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED
WITH GRANT.
WHERE'S MARY?
IN THE BARN,
AND YOU BETTER HURRY.
[GRUNTS] COME ON! PULL
AS HARD AS YOU CAN!
HEY, I HEARD
WHAT HAPPENED.
WOW! LOOK AT YOU!
MARY, WHA ARE YOU DOING?
I'M GOING AFTER HIM.
IN THIS?
YOU GETTING IN?
REFRESH MY MEMORY.
WHAT IS IT YOU SAY
TO GET THEM GOING AGAIN?
HA HA HA! VERY FUNNY.
[EXHALES]
THEY'RE GONNA FLY,
THEY'RE GONNA FLY,
THEY'RE GONNA FLY.
YOU READY?
I HOPE SO.
WELL?
WELL, WHAT?
OH! RIGHT.
ON DASHER!
WHOA!
IT'S GRANT.
I'M AT THE AIRPORT.
I'M GETTING ON
THE CHOPPER NOW.
THIS BETTER BE AS GOOD
AS YOU PROMISED.
I PULLED THE ENTIRE BOARD
AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILIES.
DON'T WORRY, SIR.
IT'LL KNOCK
YOUR STOCKINGS OFF!
[BEEPS]
Mary:
THERE THEY ARE!
YAHOO!
[SLEIGH BELLS RINGING]
WHAT'S THAT SOUND?
Mary:
E WE COME, GRANT!
Luke:
YOU BETTER RUN!
OH, MY LORD!
LOOK!
COME ON, DONNER! GO!
OH, NO.
COME ON,
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
WHAT?
GO, NOW! LET'S GO!
Mary: GO, GO, GO!
Luke: WHOA!
WHOA!
YAHOO!
WHOA!
YOU'RE GETTING
PRETTY GOOD AT THIS.
COME ON, FASTER!
MOVE IT!
WE'RE GOING PRETTY FAST.
LOOK, IT'S A SLED,
ALL RIGHT?
LOSE THEM!
Luke: I DON'T SEE HIM.
WHERE'D HE GO?
LOOKS LIKE
WE LOST THEM.
GOOD.
TAKE ME TO THE OFFICE.
HI, THERE.
THEY'RE ALL HERE.
THANKS.
GRANT.
IT'S ABOUT TIME.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO JUSTIFY
THESE NUMBERS TO THE BOARD.
NOW, YOU'RE TALKING ABOU SPENDING $90 MILLION
IN NORTHERN CANADA.
NOT TO WORRY, TJ.
WE'LL RECOUP THOSE COSTS
WITHIN THE FIRST YEAR.
THIS PROPERTY
IS THE CENTERPIECE
OF MY NEW PLAN.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BEHOLD.
I GIVE YOU THE ULTIMATE
IN DESTINATION SHOPPING.
GRANT...
WHAT MAKES THIS THE ULTIMATE
IN DESTINATION SHOPPING?
WELL, YOU'RE NO GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE
THESE PICTURES.
LATE. LATE.
I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
OH, MS. CLASS.
WELCOME.
WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT YOUR PROPOSAL.
MY--
WELL, OURS.
TJ THINKS IT'S
A BRILLIANT IDEA.
WELL, I THINK
IT'S...
A TERRIFIC PLAN.
A UNIQUE
CHRISTMAS-THEMED MALL.
GRANT AND I JUST HAD
A DIFFERENCE IN OPINION
ABOUT LOCATION.
OH, REALLY?
MARY--
I'M SURE HE TOLD YOU
ABOUT THE AVALANCHE
PROBLEM.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
AVALANCHE?
WELL, IT'S NOTHING
THAT THE ENGINEERS
CAN'T WORK AROUND.
YEAH, SURE.
ASSUMING THEY CAN
HANDLE THE COLD.
COLD?
30 BELOW...
AND THAT IS ON
A WARM DAY.
CLEARLY,
IF THESE WERE ISSUES,
THERE WOULDN'T BE
A TOWN...RIGHT THERE!
OH, IT'S AN INUIT TOWN.
GRANT, WHAT ARE YOU
TRYING TO SELL ME HERE?
MARY, STOP IT.
STOP WHAT, GRANT?
I TOLD YOU BEFORE,
I THINK IT'S A TERRIFIC
IDEA FOR A MALL...
JUST OUTSIDE BISMARCK
OR NEAR MINNEAPOLIS.
NO, IT HAS TO BE HERE.
IT HAS TO BE HERE!
MR. HAMILTON,
I APOLOGIZE.
GRANT IS UNDER
A LOT OF STRESS.
NO, IT'S NOT STRESS!
YOU KNOW THA IS HAS TO BE HERE.
DON'T DENY IT.
GRANT, DARLING,
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I THINK YOU JUST NEED
TO TAKE A LITTLE REST.
NO. TELL THEM!
YOU TELL THEM
WHAT'S UP THERE.
IT'S SANTA'S VALLEY.
THE WORKSHOP,
THE REINDEER, THE ELVES.
IT'S ALL THERE.
THIS IS THE REAL SANTA.
THIS IS THE REAL SANTA.
I HAVE PICTURES.
YOU CAN SEE IT ALL.
GO ON. TELL THEM.
HONEY, THIS IS
THE PETTING ZOO.
PLEASE UNDERSTAND.
GRANT IS REALLY TRYING TO HELP.
I JUST THINK HE MIGHT NEED
A LITTLE...TIME OFF.
GRANT, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU MEANT BY
THIS PRACTICAL JOKE,
BUT YOU HAVE PULLED US
ALL AWAY FROM OUR
FAMILIES ON CHRISTMAS EVE
TO PITCH US THIS
RIDICULOUS PROJECT.
NOW, I THINK THAT YOU
OUGHT TO RECONSIDER YOUR
POSITION IN THE COMPANY.
BECAUSE I KNOW I WILL.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I AM SORRY.
I APOLOGIZE.
MY REGARDS
TO YOUR FAMILIES.
AND WE WILL
SEE EACH OTHER...
AFTER THE HOLIDAYS.
NO. NO, NO, NO, NO.
THIS IS PERFECT.
OKAY, DON'T YOU SEE?
THERE'S A MONORAIL,
AND IT RUNS RIGHT THROUGH
THE WORKSHOP.
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT'S A BAD IDEA.
THERE'S NO MONORAIL.
THANK YOU, HOLLY.
NO, GUYS, HEY, THIS IS--
COME ON,
I'LL WALK YOU OUT.
OKAY.
THIS IS--THIS IS
A PRELIM, DRAFT 1.
HEY, WE'RE STILL ON FOR
RACQUETBALL FRIDAY, RIGHT?
YOU AND ME, BUDDY,
WE GOT IT, WE'LL DO IT.
HEY, UH...
I'LL STAY HERE.
YOU GUYS GO ON.
GET OUT OF HERE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS. GO--
MR. HAMILTON,
DO ME A FAVOR
AND DON'T BE TOO HARD
ON GRANT.
UH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT,
MS. CLASS.
IT IS THE SEASON
OF FORGIVENESS.
[CHUCKLE]
OH, ACTUALLY,
I'M GOING UP.
[JINGLE]
OH.
I SEE.
THANKS.
FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING.
IS THERE ANYTHING
I COULD DO FOR YOU?
YES. THERE IS ONE THING.
I WAS HOPING
TO HAVE IT REPAIRED
FOR MY GRANDSON.
I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE
WHO MAY BE ABLE
TO HELP YOU OUT.
EXCELLENT.
EXCUSE ME. I...
HAVE TO GET HOME.
AND I'M SURE
THAT YOU HAVE THINGS
TO DO YOURSELF.
ACTUALLY, I DO.
TAKE CARE, MS. CLASS.
YOU, TOO.
OH!
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
THANK YOU.
HOW'D IT GO?
I THINK
WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY.
WELL, THERE'S JUS ONE MORE THING.
I NEVER GOT WHAT I
WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS.
WOW.
I'M REALLY GONNA DO THIS.
AHH...
HO HO HO!
Mary:
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
AHEM.
[SNORING]
WELL...
THIS IS DIFFERENT.
MORNING, DAD.
NICE TECHNIQUE.
[CHUCKLE]
THANKS.
FOR ME?
WELL, YOU WERE
KIND OF ON THE FENCE
WITH THE WHOLE NAUGHTY/NICE
THING FOR A WHILE.
BUT YOU PULLED THROUGH.
I JUST...
I WANTED CHRISTMAS
TO BE PERFECT.
OH, WHEN IS CHRISTMAS
EVER PERFECT?
I'VE BEEN DOING THIS
A LONG TIME,
AND I HAVEN' GOTTEN IT RIGHT YET.
REALLY?
YOU?
EVERY YEAR,
IT'S SOMETHING--
RUN OUT OF TRICYCLES,
FORGET BELGIUM...
BUT THIS CHRISTMAS?
BETTER THAN EVER,
BECAUSE OF YOU.
THANKS, POP.
HMM.
[GIGGLING]
OH...
YOU KNOW, I'M SO GLAD
TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT,
BECAUSE I HAVE SOME GREA IDEAS FOR NEXT YEAR.
NEXT YEAR?