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Santa Baby (2006)
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HE'S THE MAN WITH ALL THE TOYS SOMEONE FOUND THE LIGHTED HOUSE LATE ONE NIGHT AND HE SAW THROUGH THE WINDOW A SIGHT A BIG MAN IN A CHAIR AND LITTLE TINY MEN EVERYWHERE HE'S THE MAN WITH ALL THE TOYS HE'S STAYING OUT IN THE COLD AND WHEN HE LEFT AS WE'RE TOLD ABOUT THE MAN WITH ALL THE TOYS MERRY CHRISTMAS. MERRY CHRISTMAS. MERRY CHRISTMAS. MERRY CHRISTMAS-- [yelps, groans] THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. WHAT? COME ON, DONNA! TIME TO HOOF IT! MERRY CHRISTMAS. WHATEVER. Santa: LITTLE HELP, HERE? WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS TRAFFIC? OH, THEY CLOSING DOWN THE STREETS FOR THE PARADE TOMORROW. PARADE? WHAT PARADE? UM...THANKSGIVING. Mary: YOU CLOSE AN ENTIRE CITY TO DO A 3-HOUR INFOMERCIAL FOR DEPARTMENT STORES. GOD, I WISH I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT. OH, NO! EMAIL GRANT. BUY US SOME TIME. OH! [cars honking] HOLD IT! [sighs] [cell phone buzzes] [phone buzzes again] FOLEY, THIS CONSULTING GENIUS OF YOURS IS RUNNING LATE. I'M SURE SHE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE, SIR. IF THERE'S ONE THING I'VE LEARNED, IT'S THAT MARY CLASS IS DEFINITELY WORTH THE WAIT. OH, HEY. I NEED THE-- RIGHT HERE. AND WHAT ABOUT THE-- HERE YA GO. AND THE-- GOT IT. ALL RIGHT! AND HERE SHE IS NOW. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MARY CLASS. GOOD AFTERNOON. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY. MISS CLASS. WE'RE ALL HERE, WAITING TO BE IMPRESSED. THESE ARE THE ANNUAL REPORTS FOR YOUR MULTISAVE SUPERSTORES. [STARTLED MURMURS] Mary: AND THAT'S WHERE YOU'LL BE, A YEAR FROM NOW, IF THOSE TRENDS CONTINUE. MY FULL PROPOSAL'S ALREADY IN YOUR EMAIL. LET'S GO OVER THE BIG POINTS. THIS IS THE MULTISAVE OF TODAY. BUT YOU KNOW THE PROBLEM. LET'S TALK ABOUT THE SOLUTION. WHAT COULD BE DONE TO SAVE MULTISAVE? MULTISAVE IS DONE. FINISHED. EXTINCT. IN ITS PLACE, SAME LOCATION. DIFFERENT ATTITUDE. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT IS TIME TO REINTRODUCE YOURSELVES. AND THAT MEANS GOING AFTER THE YOUTH MARKET. IT MEANS GETTING A MASCOT. IT MEANS BRAND RECOGNITION. YOU DON'T SELL...HATS. YOU SELL SPOTLIGHT HATS. YOU DON'T SELL TOASTERS. YOU SELL SPOTLIGHT TOASTERS. BOTTLED WATER? SPOTLIGHT WATER. MISS CLASS, YOU WANT US TO THROW AWAY EVERYTHING WE'VE BUIL FOR OVER HALF A CENTURY. MR. HAMILTON. YOU CAN'T STAND IN THE WAY OF PROGRESS. THE NEW PARADIGM IS DESTINATION SHOPPING. INSTEAD OF GOING SHOPPING, PEOPLE WILL BE GOING TO SPOTLIGHT. INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE MALL, PEOPLE WILL BE GOING TO SPOTLIGHT. SPOTLIGHT WILL BECOME THE NUMBER ONE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE. THAT... IN YOUR FUTURE. [champagne cork, popping] [clinking glass] CONGRATULATIONS. [chuckles] AH, IT WAS NOTHING. NOTHING? HAMILTON'S SO IMPRESSED, HE'S PUTTING ME IN CHARGE OF NEW BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT. SERIOUSLY? MM-HM. GRANT... THAT IS FANTASTIC. IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU. MM... YOU'RE JUST AMAZING. I DON'T DESERVE YOU. [laughing] [clearing throat] DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW? NO. PLEASE. COME IN. HERE'S THE REST OF THE MULTISAVE PAPERWORK. THANKS, DONNA. WE'VE GO A LOT OF WORK AHEAD OF US. WELL, WE CAN GET A JUMP ON I OVER THE LONG WEEKEND. WEEKEND? THANKSGIVING? WITH MY PARENTS? [gasps] OH, GRANT. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS. YOU KNOW I'M NOT BIG-- ON HOLIDAYS. I KNOW. I KNOW. I JUST-- I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO. I CAN'T AFFORD A 4-DAY WEEKEND. ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT DINNER WHEN I GET BACK? ALL RIGHT. LUIGI'S? MONDAY? NO, MONDAY'S NO GOOD. LUNCH WEDNESDAY? NO, I'VE GOT RACQUETBALL WITH HARMON. HOW ABOUT DRINKS? [PDA beeps] HM. NOT A CHANCE. [PDA beeps] BRUNCH SUNDAY? [beeps] COFFEE, 8:30, A WEEK FROM TUESDAY? [beeps] OOO. CAN WE MAKE IT 9:15? [beeps] DONE. [beeps] Grant: WELL... HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I'M GONNA GET GOING, TOO. OH! WAIT. I GOT SOME... HOMEWORK FOR YA. I'LL GET IT DONE ON MONDAY. MONDAY? ARE YOU KIDDING? WE GOTTA GET MOVIN' ON THIS. BUT TOMORROW'S A NATIONAL HOLIDAY. WHICH MEANS WE WON'T GE INTERRUPTED WHILE WE WORK. [FAKE LAUGH] SEE YOU IN THE MORNING. SEE YA. [screams] [crash] [finishes yawn] [exhales hard] [snores] [parade music] Donna: WOW. SLEEP MUCH? I GOT A NAP. I HAD TO GO 3 PLACES TO FIND A LATTE ON THANKSGIVING. THANKS. OH, WHAT A MESS! MESS? IT'S ALL SORTED. AD CAMPAIGN. MARKET RESEARCH. LOGO TEST. P.R. Donna: YOU'RE AMAZING. SCARY, BUT AMAZING. I'LL START UPLOADING. [phone rings] CLASS CONSULTING. OH. SURE. ONE MOMENT, PLEASE. IT'S YOUR MOTHER. MY MOTHER? [screams] OH! AH! OH... [groans] [laughing] THANKS. MOM? MOM, WHY ARE YOU CRYING? MOM, CALM DOWN. OH, MY GOD. OK. [phone beeps off] WHAT IS IT? MY DAD. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK. OKAY. WE CONNECT IN TORONTO BEFORE-- WHERE IS POLARIS, ANYWAY? NORTH. FAR NORTH. NO NO NO NO NO. THE HEAVY COAT. I THOUGHT THIS WAS IT. NO. THE GREEN ONE. WELL, I HOPE YOUR DAD'S ALL RIGHT. AH, HE'S A FORCE OF NATURE. A HEART ATTACK WON' EVEN SLOW HIM DOWN. THERE'S NO GREEN COA IN HERE. THERE'S THIS SLEEPING BAG. NO. THAT'S IT. I CAN'T REALLY SEE YOU WEARING SOMETHING LIKE THIS. IT'S NOT FOR ME. IT'S FOR YOU. IT GETS VERY COLD UP THERE. TRUST ME. HEY. THANKS FOR GOING WITH ME. I KNOW IT'S NOT MUCH OF A HOLIDAY. WHERE YOU GO, I GO. Mary: YOU KNOW, THERE'S-- THERE'S SOMETHING THAT, UM, YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MY FAMILY. THEY'RE, UH-- DIFFERENT. FAMILIES. IF YOU CAN'T BE EMBARRASSED BY THEM, WHAT GOOD ARE THEY? YEAH. WELL, MY FOLKS ARE KIND OF ON A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL. [festive crowd] SAY CHEESE. [group] CHEESE. HEY, SVEN. HAVE A GOOD THANKSGIVING? SURE DID. ME, TURKEY, AND THE BOYS. HOW 'BOUT YOU? ME, TURKEY, AND THE BOYS. [laughing] YEAH. THEY'RE GOOD COMPANY, THOUGH, HUH? YOU KNOW THEY'RE JUST DOGS, RIGHT? OH, YEAH, YEAH. BUT DON'T TELL THEM THAT. [chuckling] MIND GIVING ME A HAND WITH THE POLE? UH, YEAH. SURE THING. SURE THING. GOTTA SALT THE ROAD. YEAH... THAT TIME OF YEAR, RIGHT? Sven: YEAH. [ringing bell] OH. LOOKS LIKE YOU GO YOURSELF A CUSTOMER. YEAH. SEE YA. SEE YA. WHOA. HI, LITTLE PUPPIES! HE'S SO CUTE. HI! [dog whimpering] HI, LITTLE GUY. [laughing] HEY. OOH. HEY, PUPPY. HI! WHOA... HEY, LADIES. CAN I HELP...? HI, LUKE. LONG TIME, NO SEE. WELL, WELL. LOOK WHO'S BACK. IT'S, UM... IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU. IT'S BEEN A WHILE. YEAH, I'M, UM... I'M HERE TO SEE MY DAD. NOW LISTEN. DON'T WORRY. YOUR OLD MAN, HE'S TOUGH. HE'S NOT GONNA MISS A BEAT. YEAH, WELL... THAT'S WHAT I'M AFRAID OF. [clears throat] OH, THIS IS MY ASSISTANT, DONNA. HI. ASSISTANT. WOW. SO YOU REALLY GOT TO BE THAT BIGSHOT AFTER ALL, HUH? WE WERE HOPIN' TO GET A RIDE. YEAH. SURE. WHY NOT? I WAS HEADIN' THAT WAY. HEY, UM... REFRESH MY MEMORY. WHAT IS IT YOU SAY TO GET THE DOGS GOING? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. MUSH. [dogs barking] [laughing] [moaning] [laughing] I CAN'T BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT. AGAIN? SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE. SURE ABOUT THAT? [shivering] Guys? FREEZING, HERE. MUSH! MUSH! [dogs howling] Luke: HIKE! HIKE! HIKE! HIKE! HIKE! COME ON! HIKE! GOOD DOGS. HEY! IT'S BEAUTIFUL! YOU CITY FOLK. [phone rings] LOOK AT ALL THOSE TREES. [phone rings again] [answers phone] HELLO? HI, GRANT. I'M SORRY I DIDN'T CALL. I WAS IN A BIT OF A RUSH. YEAH, UH-- I'M SURE MY DAD'S GONNA BE FINE. [groans] UM, DID YOU SEE THAT SIGN? SH-- SHOULDN'T WE, UM...? DID THAT SIGN JUST SAY AVALANCHE? HANG ON! [moaning] SIR? UH, GRANT? I'M ABOU TO GO INTO A TUNNEL. I'LL CALL YOU LATER. WHO WAS THAT? A BUSINESS ASSOCIATE? BOYFRIEND. POOR GUY. SIR? AH... WAIT. WE'RE NOT GOING INTO THE MOUNTAIN, ARE WE? [screams] [keeps screaming] SO PRETTY. Luke: WHOA! THIS IS IT! [tow train whistles] [happy chatter] GUESS YOU GUYS GO ALL-OU FOR CHRISTMAS UP HERE. HEE-YAH! TAKE THIS! [cheerful chatter] DONNA? ARE YOU COMING? [small voice] SORRY! THIS IS WHERE YOU GREW UP? IT'S A BIT MUCH, ISN'T IT? [carefree chatter] [door opens] MARY! YOU'RE HOME! [gasping with joy] [laughing] MARY'S HOME! MARY'S HOME! Mary: OH OH OH OH. FELLAS. FELLAS. I'D LIKE YOU TO MEE MY ASSISTANT, DONNA. HELLO, DONNA! HI. WELCOME. OOOH! [cooing] LOVELY JACKET. HI... ALL RIGHT. HERE YOU GO, GUYS. I GOT TODAY'S DELIVERY FOR YA. RIGHT! GREAT. YEAH. OKAY. GET THAT DOWN TO PROCESSING. WHOA... WHOA! [hollering together] [crashing] OH...[stammers] I'M SORRY. MARY? YOUR...YOUR DAD... IS SANTA CLAUS? KINDA. YEAH. KINDA? LUKE? UH, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR, AND HELP DONNA GET SETTLED? SURE. [weak greeting] [humming "Santa Baby"] [gasping] [laughing] SAINTS ALIVE. HI, MOM. WHERE DID THIS SCRAWNY LITTLE GIRL COME FROM? HO, OH MY! LOOK AT YOU! [gasps] YOU ARE SKINNY AS A RAIL. [gasping, chuckling] AND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU HAIR? IT USED TO BE SO LONG. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, MOM. OH HO HO! OH, I'M SORRY, MARY. I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE A FUSS. BUT YOU CAN HARDLY BLAME ME. IT'S BEEN 6 YEARS. FOUR, MOM. WELL, IT FEELS LIKE 6. BUT I SUPPOSE IT'S HARD TO FIND TIME TO VISI WHEN YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT. WELL, I'M HOME NOW, MOM. [chuckles] HOW IS, UH...HOW'S DAD? WELL...THE DOCTOR SAYS HE'LL BE FINE. JUST FINE. GOOD. GOOD. [sighs] MAYBE I'LL-- MAYBE I'LL GO UNPACK FIRST. HE'S IN THE LIVING ROOM. [whispering] GO GO GO GO. GO. [light snore] [heavier snore] LOOK AT YOU. IMMORTAL, MY ASS. I SEE YOUR MOTHER CALLED YOU. YEP. SHE DID. [sighs] HOW YOU FEELIN', POPS? WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING. WE'RE ONLY A LITTLE BEHIND. YOUR MOTHER'S DOING WHAT SHE CAN. AS SOON AS I'M UP, I'LL-- THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. I CAN HELP. [snorts] NO. BUT, DAD. I KNOW THE CHRISTMAS DRILL BETTER THAN ANYONE. THE CHRISTMAS DRILL? NO. BUT, DAD...! NO, MARY. I'LL BE READY IN NO TIME. [sighs] [soft snoring] [sighs] READY TO GO AROUND THE WORLD IN A SLEIGH IN 4 WEEKS? I DON'T THINK SO. MORNIN', SLEEPYHEAD. MM. WHAT TIME IS IT? EH! IT'S A LITTLE AFTER 8, DEAR! YECH! MOM, WHAT IS ALL THAT STUFF? BREAKFAST FOR YOUR FATHER. DIDN'T IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT EATING THIS STUFF IS WHAT GAVE HIM THE HEART ATTACK? WELL, THIS IS WHA WE ALWAYS EAT, DEAR. [chuckles] NO KIDDING. DO ME A FAVOR. WHATEVER DAD ASKS FOR? [gasps] OFF THE MENU. [gasps] I COULD RUN INTO TOWN AND GET SOME...BRAN MUFFINS? OH, WHAT A THOUGHTFUL YOUNG LADY. LISTEN, MOM. WE NEED TO TALK. WE ARE TALKING, DEAR. MOM! THIS IS SERIOUS! HA! WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN ON CHRISTMAS? OH, I'M SURE YOUR FATHER WILL BE UP AND ABOUT BY THEN. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK. IT'LL BE MONTHS BEFORE HE'S BACK TO NORMAL. WELL, I'M SURE WE'LL MANAGE SOMEHOW. CAN'T THE ELVES RUN THINGS? [both laughing] WHAT? [cheerful chatter] Elves: SLOW DOWN! SLOW DOWN! [train whistle] [yelps] ELF OVERBOARD! [more elf chatter] I GOTCHA. [yelping] OW! OK. THE ELVES CAN BARELY DRESS THEMSELVES. WELL, THE OLDER ONES-- YEAH. THE OLDER ONES CAN DRESS THEMSELVES. BUT WHO'S GONNA SUPERVISE THE TOYMAKING? WHO'S GONNA APPROVE THE LIST? WHO'S GONNA DELIVER THE PRESENTS? [thudding into trash] YOU HAVE A SUGGESTION? YEAH! ME. Santa: NO, NO, NO. DON'T YOU MEAN HO HO HO, DEAR? WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS, AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I WON'T HAVE IT. YOU TALKED ABOUT THIS? UH... [sighs] NICKOLAS, MARY CAME ALL THIS WAY. SHE'S HERE SO YOU COULD GET BETTER. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. I'M AS STRONG AS A POLAR BEAR. NICKOLAS, PLEASE! YOU CAN HARDLY MOVE. HOW ARE GONNA GO UP AND DOWN MILLIONS OF CHIMNEYS IN ONE NIGHT? SAME WAY I'VE ALWAYS DONE IT. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS. MARY'S JUST A GIRL. OHH! OH, PHHH! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. SHE'S TOO YOUNG. SHE'S TOO HEADSTRONG. SHE'S-- SHE'S TOO IMPULSIVE. UH, HELLO, I'M IN THE ROOM. SHE'S THE SAME AGE AS YOU WERE WHEN YOU STARTED OUT. YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM? JUST FORGET IT. IT'S NO USE. HE'LL NEVER CHANGE. WHY SHOULD I CHANGE? I'VE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE LONG BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. CHRISTMAS IS A BIG RESPONSIBILITY, MARY. FRANKLY, YOU'RE NOT UP TO IT. UP TO IT? DAD, I RUN MY OWN COMPANY. PEOPLE PAY ME TO TELL THEM HOW TO RUN THEIR BUSINESS MORE EFFICIENTLY. OH, AND I SUPPOSE YOU TELL THEM, "JUST CHANGE EVERYTHING. JUST FORGET ABOU TRADITION." DAD, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING TRADITIONAL AND BEING PRIMITIVE. [SPUTTERS] [EXHALES] YOU'RE BEING NAUGHTY! THINK I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT. HMM. UH, WAIT. WHAT? FOR HOW LONG? A MONTH, AT LEAST. THROUGH CHRISTMAS? YOU'VE GOT IT. SERIOUSLY? AHA! [LAUGHS] WHAT'S THIS? THIS IS CHRISTMAS, MY CHRISTMAS-- A LIFETIME OF MY IDEAS-- STUFF MY DAD WAS EITHER TOO PIGHEADED OR TOO SCARED TO EVER TRY. OOH, LOOK AT THIS. HA HA! DIFFERENT SHAPES FOR CANDY CANES. OH! BLUEPRINTS FOR A TURBO-SLEIGH. OH! SWEATERS FOR THE REINDEER. [GASPS] COOKIES WITH EGGNOG INSIDE. EW! YEAH. WELL, THA ONE REALLY DIDN' WORK OUT TOO WELL. JEEZ. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WERE REALLY INTO THIS STUFF. WHAT HAPPENED? R LISTENED TO ME. NOT ONCE. I MEAN, I KNOW MY IDEAS AREN'T ALL GEMS, BUT I HAD THOUSANDS OF THEM. YOU'D THINK HE'D A LEAST HAVE GIVEN ONE OR TWO OF THEM A SHOT. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S MY TURN NOW. MY CHRISTMAS. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] MOVE IT ALONG HERE, MATE. YEAH. LOOK AT THAT. YEAH! IT'S NICE. HERE YOU GO. WHOA! [CRASH] OH, MY. HEY, BUDDY, YOU NEED HELP. A LITTLE HELP HERE. PLEASE HELP! HEH! HOPELESS. [WHISTLE BLOWS] [WHISTLE BLOWS] HI. HEY, LUKE! AHEM! GOOD MORNING, TEAM. I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS. MARY IS GONNA TAKE OVER FOR THE BOSS THIS SEASON. [SILENCE] YEAH! IT'S A TOUGH CROWD. HMM! WATCH AND LEARN. MARY. THANK YOU FOR THA INTRODUCTION, GARY. IT IS SO GREA TO BE HOME AGAIN. UHH! [COUGHS] WHAT IS WITH THIS COFFEE? OH, IT'S HOT COCOA. UGH! [CLEARS THROAT] I KNOW MY FATHER HAS TREMENDOUS RESPEC AND ADMIRATION FOR EVERYONE HERE, BUT I CAN' HELP BUT THINK THAT WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN A UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY TO MOVE THIS OPERATION OUT OF THE 12th CENTURY AND INTO THE 21st. ISN'T SHE BRILLIANT? WE ARE GOING TO HAVE... THIS SHOULD BE INTERESTING. ...AND I WANT TO HEAR SOME NEW IDEAS. ALSO, I'LL NEED DAILY PRODUCTIVITY REPORTS, AND I WANT TO SEE THOSE NUMBERS GOING UP. SKIP. WHERE'S SKIP? YOU'RE IN WRAPPING, RIGHT? UH-HUH. I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO MOVE HALF YOUR TEAM OVER TO PRODUCTION. AT THE END OF THE DAY, WRAPPING IS EXPENDABLE. BUT I LIKE WRAPPING. IT'S NOT ABOU WHAT WE LIKE. IT'S ABOUT VOLUME, PEOPLE. LET'S BE PROACTIVE. LET'S THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX. LET'S TAKE THE "ELF" OUT OF "SELFISH" AND MAKE THIS THE BES CHRISTMAS EVER! [CLAPPING] [EVERYONE ELSE SILENT] YOU CALLED FOR ME? YEAH, GARY. I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO GE THE MOST RECEN PRODUCTIVITY REPORTS. BUT SANTA NEVER ASKED FOR THE-- SANTA ISN' IN CHARGE. I AM. PRODUCTIVITY REPORTS. GO! UH...OK. [SIGHS] ALL RIGHT. LET'S FOCUS. I HAVE A VERY IMPORTAN JOB FOR YOU. I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO GO OVER THE LIST. THE LIST? WHAT LIST? THE LIST. I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO CHECK IT... AND THEN CHECK IT TWICE? BINGO! BE THOROUGH. [SIGHS] DONNA, I'VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS. [TELEPHONE RINGS] [RINGS] HEY, BABY. HEY, HOW'S YOUR DAD? OH, HE'S ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW, HE'S A PAIN IN THE NECK, BUT THAT'S PRETTY MUCH PAR FOR THE COURSE. I'M GLAD TO HEAR HE'S OK. WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK? YEAH. UM... I'M GONNA BE UP HERE A LITTLE LONGER THAN I THOUGHT. MARY? THERE'S SOME STUFF I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF. OH. WHAT? WELL, I SORT OF TOLD THE BOARD THAT YOU'D HAVE THE SPOTLIGH PRODUCT TEST BACK BEFORE CHRISTMAS, BUT I GUESS I CAN GET THEM TO WAIT UNTIL AFTER THE FIRST. NO. NO, GRANT, I'VE HAD SOME STUFF SHIPPED UP. YOU KNOW ME. I CAN MULTI-TASK. OH, THERE-- UH, GRANT, LISTEN, I GOTTA GO. CAN I CALL YOU TONIGHT? ALL RIGHT. KISS, KISS. BYE. WHAT'S UP, GARY? I COULDN'T FIND ANY PRODUCTIVITY REPORTS, SO I BROUGH CANDY CANES INSTEAD. OK, THEN. SO, SERIOUSLY, HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THE PRODUCT TESTS? [SIGHS] HEY, GARY? YEAH? I NEED YOU TO ROUND UP SOME OF YOUR BUDDIES AND MEET ME IN THE BREAK ROOM. CAN YOU HANDLE IT? YOU BETCHA! HERE WE GO. THESE ARE YOUR COMMENT FORMS, AND I'LL BE PICKING THEM UP AFTER WE'RE DONE. OK, GANG, LISTEN UP. OUT IN THE REAL WORLD, WE HAVE SOMETHING CALLED FOCUS GROUPS. TODAY, I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO BE MY FOCUS GROUP FOR A PROJECT I'M WORKING ON BACK HOME. YES, LUCY? IS THIS LIKE MAKE-BELIEVE? YES! IT'S EXACTLY LIKE MAKE-BELIEVE. YEAH! EXCELLENT! WHAT I NEED IS FOR YOU TO PRETEND TO BE CONSUMERS WHO MAY OR MAY NO BE INTERESTED IN SOME OF THESE THINGS. SOUND LIKE FUN? YEAH. ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET STARTED. OK. UM...SKIP. IF I GAVE YOU THIS TOASTER, WHAT WOULD YOUR REACTION BE? YOU'RE GIVING ME THE TOASTER? ME? FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES, YES. OOH! OOH! [GASPS] WHY...I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I LOVE IT. GOOD. AN HONEST REACTION. OK. WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU LOVE ABOUT THIS TOASTER? WELL, I MEAN, THE FACT THAT YOU GAVE IT TO ME. I MEAN, THIS IS LIKE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! [CHORTLES] [EXCITED REACTIONS] [LIGHT APPLAUSE] I HAVE A TOASTER! YEAH! COME ON! YEAH! FOCUS, GROUP. FOCUS. FOCUS. FOCUS. CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT QUALITIES THEY LIKE ABOUT THIS TOASTER? NN-YES! NN-YES! BESIDES THE FAC THAT IT CAME FROM ME. OH. OH. OH. YES. UH... IT'S SHINY. OH, YEAH. GREAT. OK. YOU PREFER THIS DESIGN OVER, LET'S SAY, THIS RED ONE? OOH, A RED ONE! [GASPS] WHO WANTS RED? LET ME TRY THAT ONE. PLEASE, GUYS. EXCUSE ME. I AM THE SENIOR ELF HERE. OH! TALK ABOU GLASS HALF FULL. TRY BRAIN HALF FULL. [RAISING AND LOWERING LEVER] Mrs. Claus: LUKE, THANK YOU FOR COMING. Luke: NO PROBLEM. OH, COULD YOU BE A DEAR AND HANG THIS ORNAMEN UP HIGH FOR ME? THE ELVES ARE NO HELP. YEAH. SURE THING. LET ME JUST MOVE THIS LADDER OUT OF THE WAY. GOOD THING I CAME ALL THE WAY IN FROM TOWN, HUH? [CHUCKLES] IT WAS SO NICE TO SEE YOU AND MARY TOGETHER. DOESN'T SHE LOOK DARLING? MOM, YOU WANTED TO SEE... OH, MARY! HELLO! LOOK WHO'S HERE. HEY, LUKE. HEY, MARY. SO, WHAT DID YOU WANT? THE ELVES GAVE ME THIS NOTE. OH, HEAVENS, I CAN'T REMEMBER. IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, IT'S TIME FOR YOUR FATHER'S LUNCH. [LAUGHS LIGHTLY] IT'S NICE. ISN'T IT, THOUGH? [LAUGHS] LUKE, I-- MARY-- [LAUGHS] [LAUGHS] GO AHEAD. NO, NO, NO. IT WAS NOTHING. YOU--YOU GO. YOU GO. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT IT WAS GREA TO SEE YOU AND THAT I'M SORRY ABOUT-- HEY, LOOK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S OK. REALLY? YEAH. IT'S FORGOTTEN. [LAUGHS] SO, I'VE GOT TO... I SHOULD, UH... I SHOULD GET GOING. OK. GARY! OH, HI! OH! [SIGHS] OH. UH-OH. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] [GRUNTS] ONWARD! WHAT? WHAT'S THE HOLD-UP? HOW THE HECK DO THE REINDEER DO IT? I HEARD THAT. NICHOLAS! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? THE DOCTOR SAID REST! DOCTORS-- WHAT DO THEY KNOW? IT'S LEECHES ONE CENTURY, LOW CARBS THE NEXT. I'VE NEVER TAKEN A CHRISTMAS OFF, AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO START NOW! AND HERE I WAS, THINKING THIS YEAR WOULD BE DIFFERENT. GO, GO, GO, GO! I SUPPOSE YOU JUST LIKE SEEING ME LAYING AROUND ALL THE TIME, IS THAT IT? NO, BUT I LIKE HAVING MARY HOME. MAYBE INSTEAD OF GROUSING, YOU COULD TRY SUPPORTING YOUR DAUGHTER. YEAH. [MAIL CLATTERS] "DEAR SANTA CLAUS, "I REALLY WOULD LIKE A HAMSTER. "MY MOMMY SAYS I CAN'T HAVE A HAMSTER "BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE A FISH, "BUT I CAN'T CUDDLE WITH A FISH, "AND I WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO CUDDLE WITH. I LOVE YOU. SIGNED, MORGAN." [APPLAUSE] "DEAR SANTA, PLEASE BRING ME A BIG COLORING BOOK AND ALSO..." WOW! WHAT IS THIS PLACE? PROCESSING. THIS IS WHERE-- SHH! HE'S ALMOST FINISHED! "...McGILLICUDDY BEAR FOR ME." [APPLAUSE] READING ALOUD, SORTING BY HAND... COULD THEY BE ANY MORE INEFFICIENT? WE OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS. ANYWAY, THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE GONNA BRING THE LIST WHEN YOU'RE DONE. GOTCHA. WAIT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? OH, I'M GONNA SEE A MAN ABOUT A CHIMNEY. [APPLAUSE] AH-CHOO! WH--WH--WHOA! NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO COME DOWN FEET FIRST. I DID. NO. GET BACK UP THERE. LET'S DO IT AGAIN. [GRUNTS] I'M STUCK. [SIGHS] SHE'S STUCK. SHE'S STUCK! FIRE! OH, MY! GIVE IT HERE! HOLD ON, GUYS. WAIT! GARY! GARY, WAIT! AAH! [WHINES] THERE IS NO FIRE. ALL RIGHT, BOYS, LET'S GO! OH! OH, NO! OH, NO! NO! PULL! COME ON, BOYS! PULL HER OU OF THERE! [GROANS] OH! UH... WAIT, WAIT! YOU DIDN' EAT ALL THE COOKIES! AND THERE'S MORE. OH. THIS SHOULD BE GOOD. "STOCKINGS HALF-FULL." MM-HMM. OH! "PRESENT ARRANGEMEN SLOPPY. NO JOLLINESS." JOLLINESS, DAD? PLEASE. COME ON, MARY, THIS IS SERIOUS. YOU'VE ONLY GOT 3 WEEKS TO GET THIS RIGHT. THANKS FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE. DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THA THERE MIGHT BE MORE THAN ONE WAY OF DOING THIS? I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR CENTURIES, AND I HAVEN'T HAD A COMPLAINT YET. WITH THAT ATTITUDE, THE WRIGHT BROTHERS WOULD STILL BE MAKING BICYCLES. YEAH. WELL, DON' GET ME STARTED ON THE WRIGHT BROTHERS. FIRST IN FLIGHT, MY ROSY RED CHEEKS! NOW, LET'S GET BACK UP THERE AND DO IT AGAIN TILL YOU GET IT RIGHT! YOU KNOW, YOU'D THINK YOU'D BE A LITTLE GRATEFUL. YOU CALLED ME, REMEMBER? NO. YOUR MOTHER CALLED YOU. DAD, I'D TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH THIS STOCKING, BUT I DON' WANT TO END UP ON THE NAUGHTY LIST. [LAUGHS LIGHTLY] WAIT. I'M IN CHARGE OF THE NAUGHTY LIST. HERE'S YOUR STOCKING. STUFF IT. [SIGHS] MY, MY. ISN'T THIS A FAMILIAR SIGHT? HMM? OH, RIGHT! THE OLD HOMEWORK CHAIR. NO, NO. I MEANT YOUR FATHER. HE LOVES TO WORK IN FRONT OF THE FIRE. IT'S A SHAME YOU TWO AREN'T CLOSER. YOU'RE SO MUCH ALIKE. MOM, WE'RE NOTHING ALIKE. OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. OF COURSE NOT. YOUR FATHER'S JUS A BIG WORKAHOLIC WHO NEVER LISTENS TO ANYONE. [TYPING] WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON? IT'S WORK. MARY CLASS OF CLASS CONSULTING. SOUNDS VERY PROFESSIONAL. I SUPPOSE YOU GOT TIRED OF YOUR LAST NAME. ONE LITTLE LETTER, MOM. NOT A BIG DEAL. NO. I GUESS IT ISN'T A BIG DEAL TO A GIRL WHO HASN' BEEN HOME FOR 10 YEARS. 4 YEARS, MOM. AND YOU COULD HAVE VISITED. YOU FATHER DOESN' LIKE TO TRAVEL. DOESN'T LIKE TO TRAVEL? [LAUGHS] I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED IN YOUR TEST RUN THIS AFTERNOON. OH, MARY, YOUR FATHER'S TRYING. IF YOU COULD JUS MEET HIM HALFWAY. WHAT? MOM, THERE IS NO HALFWAY WITH DAD. THERE NEVER HAS BEEN. YOU SHOULD KNOW THA BETTER THAN ANYONE. YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING UP WITH IT FOR YEARS. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT COMPROMISE. COMPROMISE? WHEN IS THE LAST TIME DAD COMPROMISED ON ANYTHING? YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET I ASKED. [SIGHS] [MACHINES CLACKING, PEOPLE TYPING] PADDLING PENGUINS! MORNING, TEAM! WHAT'S ALL THIS? PROGRESS, LUKE. THIS DEPARTMEN IS DEAD WEIGHT. THESE NEW WORKERS WILL BURN THROUGH THE LETTERS IN NO TIME. NO MORE READING ALOUD, NO MORE SORTING BY HAND, NO MORE WASTING TIME. BUT IT WAS MY TURN TO READ. NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO. OOH, DONNA, DO ME A FAVOR AND COORDINATE WITH BOB TO GET ON SOME DATA PROCESSING. BOB? OH, HE'S OUR NEW I.T. GUY. YOU'RE SURE MAKING YOUR MARK, HUH? BOY, YOU ARE HERE AN AWFUL LOT. DON'T YOU HAVE A BUSINESS TO RUN? YEAH, I DO, BUT I'M ALSO YOUR MAILMAN. IT'S A BUSY SEASON, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE. BUT LUKE, SNAIL-MAIL IS HISTORY. BY NEXT YEAR, WE'LL BE 100% ELECTRONIC. THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT? SURE. WHY NOT? I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE SOME THINGS ARE SACRED? BOB? OOH! OW! OOH! OH, HI. HI. I'M DONNA, MARY'S ASSISTANT. HEY, I'M BOB. I.T. MARY JUST WANTED ME TO GO OVER SOME STUFF WITH YOU. OH, COOL. I'M ALMOST DONE. COULD YOU PASS ME THAT CABLE RIGHT THERE? SURE. UH, THE BLUE ONE. SO, HOW'D YOU GE THIS JOB? TEMP AGENCY. YOU KNOW, THEY TAKE THA "WILLING TO RELOCATE" BOX REALLY SERIOUSLY. [CHUCKLES] THANKS. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] HEY, LUKE. MORNING. HI. NOPE. NO. [JANGLES] NOPE. Robot: PREPARE LASERS. YES. WHAT IS THIS, THE FIFTIES? WHERE DO YOU WANT THIS? JUST PUT IT OVER THERE. [LAUGHS] [SIGHS] WHAT IS THIS FOR? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE SOME. RIBBON CANDY? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU REMEMBER. IT ALWAYS WAS YOUR FAVORITE, RIGHT? [SIGHS] [LAUGHS] [TELEPHONE RINGS] [RINGS] [RINGS] [BEEPS] HEY, FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? DO I HAVE YOU TO THANK FOR THIS? I WAS WORRIED YOU MIGHT GO INTO SHOCK IF YOU DIDN'T GE YOUR JAMAICAN BLUE FIX. DO THEY EVEN HAVE ESPRESSO MACHINES UP THERE IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH? I'M SURE I CAN DIG ONE UP. GRANT, I AM SO SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN IN TOUCH. [HORN] IT'S OK. I'M SURE YOUR PLATE'S PRETTY FULL. STOP! IT'S STUCK! OK! YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE. IT'S JUST BEEN SO CRAZY HERE WITH MY FAMILY AND THE SPOTLIGHT STUFF. YEAH. WELL, WE'RE ALL DYING TO SEE WHA YOU'VE COME UP WITH. YEAH. YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT TAKE A LITTLE LONGER THAN EXPECTED. [GRUNTS] UHH! ALL RIGHT! I GOT IT! [APPLAUSE] [WHOOSHING] AAH! WHOA! Grant: MARY? GRANT, I GOTTA GO. I'LL CALL YOU LATER. OK, BYE. Claire: YES, MR. FOLEY? CLAIRE, TALK TO THE MAILROOM. FIND OUT WHERE WE'VE BEEN SHIPPING ALL THE MARY CLASS DOCUMENTS. RIGHT AWAY. GOOD. [GRUNTS] OH, COME ON! DASHER! YOU NEVER LIKED ME. UHH! [SIGHS] YOU'LL NEVER GET HIM THAT WAY. OH, RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW THE SECRET REINDEER CODE. IT'S ALL ABOU MOTIVATION, MARY. [DASHER CHOMPS CARROT] WELL, I HOPE YOU WEREN'T PLANNING ON TAKING HER UP. WHAT, I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BORROW THE FAMILY CAR? WELL, IT'S A LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT, MARY. ONLY BECAUSE YOU MAKE I MORE COMPLICATED. NO, NO, NO. THESE AREN' LIKE YOUR MACHINES. YOU DON'T JUST GO PUSHING SOME BUTTON. I KNOW, I KNOW! NO, YOU DON'T KNOW. WELL, MAYBE IF YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME JUST ONCE, BUT YOU HAD TO KEEP ALL YOUR SECRETS. SECRETS? THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS ALL ABOUT? SECRETS?! YES! NO. WAIT. THEY CAN TELL IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN CHRISTMAS, MARY. BELIEVE IN CHRISTMAS? MM-HMM. I'M SANTA'S DAUGHTER. AND THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KNOWING AND BELIEVING. THEY'RE NOT GONNA FLY FOR YOU, MARY. YES, THEY WILL. ALL RIGHT, COME ON, COME ON. THAT'S IT. COME ON. ALL RIGHT, PERFECT. NO, NO, NO. WHERE ARE YOU GOING? NO. COME ON. COME ON, COME ON. COME ON! YOUR MOTHER TOLD ME I'D FIND YOU HERE. OH! THESE GUYS ARE AS STUBBORN AS MY FATHER IS. HEH HEH! YEAH, THA RUNS IN THE FAMILY. HA HA! OH, VERY FUNNY. LET ME HELP. HEY, THAT'S A BOY. YOU WERE ALWAYS SO GREA WITH THE ANIMALS. I THINK WE WERE A GREAT TEAM. [LAUGHS] EXCUSE ME, BUT I WAS MORE OF A LEADER. OH. OH, OK. WELL, BY ALL MEANS, PLEASE LEAD ON. YOU KNOW, I CAN DO TH-- [THUD] UH-HUH. [LAUGHS] SHUT UP. NO, NO. I FEEL VERY SAFE. [LAUGHS] STOP IT! OH, STUPID REINDEER! I THINK MY DAD BRAINWASHED THEM. NOW, IF WE JUS TIE THE REINDEER TO THE DOGS, THEN WE'D BE IN BUSINESS. [LAUGHS] HERE. GIVE IT TO ME FOR A SECOND. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. OH! EVERYTHING'S FROZEN. IT'S JUST THE WAY WE LEFT IT. IS THAT A BAD THING? HEY, I'M NO THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTED TO GET OUT OF THIS TOWN. I REMEMBER A CERTAIN SOMEONE WANTING TO PLAY FOR THE LEAFS. WHAT HAPPENED? I MADE IT PAST TRYOUTS. I DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM. SO, YOU COULD HAVE STAYED IN THE CITY AND GOT A JOB. YEAH. IT WASN'T ME. SO YOU'RE OK WITH POLARIS? YEAH, SURE. I MEAN, I GO A GREAT BUSINESS MUSHING TOURISTS AROUND, TRAINING DOGS. AND THEN THERE'S CHRISTMAS. HARD TO BEAT THA EVERY YEAR. HMM. WOW. NOT BAD, HUH? NOT BAD AT ALL. BET THEY DON' HAVE THAT IN THE CITY. LUKE, I'M SORRY ABOU WHAT HAPPENED WITH US. I KNOW I LEFT KIND OF QUICK. [LAUGHS] QUICK? I CAME TO PICK YOU UP FOR A MOVIE. YOUR PARENTS SAID YOU MOVED. YEAH. I COULD HAVE HANDLED THAT BETTER. I JUST HAD TO GET OUT OF HERE. I HAD TO GET A LIFE OF MY OWN. THERE WAS NO PLACE FOR ME ANYMORE. I CAME HOME 4 YEARS AGO AND YOU WEREN'T HERE. MAYBE I WAS OU LOOKING FOR YOU. WERE YOU REALLY? [LAUGHS] [LAUGHTER] WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. IN MY DEFENSE, THOUGH, I LOOKED, ALL I SAW WAS THIS QUICK FLASH OF WHITE FUR! [LAUGHTER] SO, ANYWAY, HE GOES BARRELING OVER THE MOUNTAIN, SCREAMING, "POLAR BEAR, POLAR BEAR!" AND RIGHT BEHIND HIM IS THIS HORRIBLY MENACING RABBIT, HOPPING FORWARD AND FORWARD. [LAUGHTER] IT WAS HIS FACE! YEAH, WHATEVER. HA HA HA HA! IT'S TRUE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. HEH! GRANT! COME IN! HI. [QUIET TALKING AND LAUGHTER] Grant: WOW, WHAT A JOURNEY. QUITE THE SLOG TO GET HERE. [LAUGHS WEAKLY] HELLO! GRANT? WHO'S GRANT? MOM, THIS IS-- GRANT FOLEY, AND MAY I SAY, IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. I CAN SEE WHERE MARY GETS HER GOOD LOOKS. WELL, AREN'T YOU THE SILVER-TONGUED DEVIL? Mary: GRANT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WELL, I'M HERE TO HELP. YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY OVERWORKED, SO I THOUGHT I'D LEND A HAND. HEY. UKE, THIS IS GRANT. HE IS-- THE BOYFRIEND. BOYFRIEND? GRANT, THIS IS LUKE. HE'S MY-- HE'S, WELL-- HE'S--HE'S THE MAILMAN. OH! HEH! NICE TO MEET YOU, BUDDY. YEAH. YOU, TOO. AND THIS IS BOB. HEY. I.T. WHAT'S UP? HELLO. [CLEARS THROAT] [CLEARS THROAT] UH, I, UH... I SHOULD GET GOING. YEAH. LUKE, I, UH... THANKS FOR YOUR HELP WITH EVERYTHING. SURE. SO, COZY LITTLE PLACE YOU'VE GOT HERE. IT'S QUITE THE HOLIDAY HIDEAWAY. HA HA HA! HA HA HA! NOW THAT I'M HERE, YOU'LL HAVE TO SHOW ME AROUND. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHERE YOU GREW UP. GRANT, THERE'S SOMETHING THA I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY FAMILY. WELL, MY FAMILY'S BUSINESS. I GET IT. CHRISTMAS TCHOTCHKES FROM WAY UP NORTH. THAT'S YOUR HOOK, RIGHT? CUTE IDEA. WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'RE TOYMAKERS. REALLY? FANTASTIC. WHAT KIND? WELL, ALL KINDS. HMM. MAYBE I SHOULD SHOW YOU AROUND. YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT. OK. YEAH. [CLICKS TONGUE] HEH! [INDISTINCT CHATTER] Mary: SO, HERE'S THE WORKSHOP. THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS. Grant: INCREDIBLE. REALLY INCREDIBLE. JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW A GIRL. GRANT, I'M SORRY I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT ANY OF THIS. I USUALLY LIKE TO KEEP THIS PART OF MY LIFE-- A SECRET? SEPARATE. WELL, THIS PLACE IS UNBELIEVABLE. YEAH, WELL, IT'S A LO MORE COMPLICATED HERE THAN YOU THINK. IT'S NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND SUGAR PLUMS. MY DAD-- HEY, WHEN DO I GET TO MEET HIM? LOOK, I AM SO HAPPY YOU'RE HERE, BUT IT IS NO A GOOD TIME FOR ME. I'M KIND OF BURIED, TRYING TO GET THIS WORKSHOP AUTOMATED. HEY, OK. WHY DON'T I JUS GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR? I'LL WORK ON THE SPOTLIGHT STUFF IN MY ROOM. YOU'D DO THAT? OF COURSE I WOULD, FOR YOU. [JINGLE BELL ROCK INTRO PLAYING] JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL ROCK JINGLE BELL SWING AND JINGLE BELLS RING SNOWIN' AND BLOWIN' UP BUSHELS OF FUN NOW THE JINGLE HOP HAS BEGUN JINGLE BELL, JINGLE BELL... Santa: A MACHINE FOR TOYMAKING? MARY, THIS IS MADNESS! GO TO BED! GO! GO! DANCIN' AND PRANCIN' IN JINGLE BELL SQUARE IN THE FROSTY AIR WHAT A BRIGHT TIME IT'S THE RIGHT TIME TO ROCK THE NIGHT AWAY JINGLE BELL TIME IS A SWELL TIME TO GO RIDIN' IN A ONE-HORSE SLEIGH GIDDY-UP, JINGLE HORSE, PICK UP YOUR FEET JINGLE AROUND THE CLOCK MIX AND MINGLE IN A JINGLIN' BEAT THAT'S THE JINGLE BELL ROCK... WHERE ARE THEY ALL GOING? NO, I'M TAKING OVER THE WORK SHIFT. THESE PRESENTS AREN' GONNA WRAP THEMSELVES. NO! THIS IS THE WAY IT'S GOTTA BE! ...JINGLE BELL ROCK DANCIN' AND PRANCIN' IN JINGLE BELL SQUARE IN THE FROSTY AIR WHAT A BRIGHT TIME IT'S THE RIGHT TIME TO ROCK THE NIGHT AWAY JINGLE BELL TIME IS A SWELL TIME TO GO GLIDIN' IN A ONE-HORSE SLEIGH GIDDY-UP, JINGLE HORSE, PICK UP YOUR FEET JINGLE AROUND THE CLOCK MIX AND MINGLE IN A JINGLIN' BEAT THAT'S THE JINGLE BELL THAT'S THE JINGLE BELL THAT'S THE JINGLE BELL ROCK [BELL DINGS] COOKIE BREAK! [WHISTLE BLOWS] GET 'EM WHILE THEY'RE HOT, FOLKS! WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHAT'S GOING ON? COOKIE BREAK. COOKIE BREAK? YOU JUST HAD A CANDY CANE BREAK 17 MINUTES AGO. YEAH. SO? SO, BREAKS GO IN BETWEEN WORK, NO THE OTHER WAY AROUND. OH, COME ON. WE'RE ALREADY WAY BEHIND SCHEDULE. HOW MANY MORE COOKIE BREAKS DO WE HAVE TODAY? OH, NONE. GOOD. HEH! OK, GOOD. JUST, WHEN YOU'RE DONE, GO BACK TO WORK. OH, BUT WE HAVE A GINGERBREAD MAN BREAK IN 45 MINUTES. THAT'S IT! NO MORE BREAKS! NO MORE COOKIES, CANDY CANES, GINGERBREAD, OR HOT COCOA! NO! ALL RIGHT. EVERYBODY GOT A COOKIE? YEAH! YEAH! LAST ONE TO EA THEIR COOKIE IS A ROTTEN EGGNOG! GO! [EXCITED CHATTER] HOW'S IT GOING WITH I.T. BOB? YOU GUYS WORKING WELL TOGETHER? OH, YEAH. EVERYTHING'S GREAT. I MEAN, SURE. I SUPPOSE. MM-HMM. SO, WHAT ABOU YOU AND LUKE? HE'S CUTE. YEAH, IF YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF THING. THAT RUGGED YET SENSITIVE, CHARMING AND FUNNY MOUNTAIN MAN KIND OF THING? DONNA, SHUT UP GRANT'S HERE. SO, DID YOU AND LUKE EVER... OH, LET'S CHANGE THE SUBJECT, SHALL WE? OK. WHAT HAPPENS IN THE NORTH POLE STAYS IN THE NORTH POLE. OH! DAD! SANTA? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? UH, JUST... LOOKING FOR THIS. REALLY? A LOT OF STAPLING TO DO, HUH? TONS. YOU BETCHA. DAD, IS LYING NAUGHTY OR NICE? COME ON, MARY. YOU CAN'T JUS EXPECT ME TO SIT AROUND AND WATCH YOU-- WATCH ME WHAT? SCREW EVERYTHING UP? CHANGE EVERYTHING. [DOOR OPENS] MARY, I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU A HEADS UP. WE'RE CAUGHT UP ON ALL THE LETTERS, AND WE'RE GONNA STAR MATCHING IT TO THE LIST. EXCELLENT, BOB. THANK YOU. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. AHEM! WHEN'S THE LAS TIME YOU FINISHED THE LETTERS THIS EARLY? DAD, THIS PLACE NEEDED CHANGE. WE CHANGE. ASK SKIP. WE'RE USING THAT NEWFANGLED INVISIBLE TAPE NOW. DAD. JUST BECAUSE IT'S NEW DOESN' MAKE IT BETTER, MARY. CHRISTMAS IS ABOU TRADITION. OH, YOU WANT TRADITION. YEAH. OK. WELL, HOW'S THIS FOR TRADITION? WOODEN TRAINS. WHAT? YOU USED TO LOVE TO MAKE WOODEN TRAINS. BY YOURSELF, WITH YOUR HANDS. WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU DID THAT? WHO HAS TIME ANYMORE? HA! EXACTLY! THE WORLD IS CHANGING. WHETHER YOU LIKE I OR NOT, THERE'S A LOT MORE KIDS TODAY, AND YOU JUST CAN'T KEEP UP. YEAH, I'M STILL SANTA, AND SO I STILL KNOW WHAT'S BES FOR CHRISTMAS. OH, FORGET IT! YOU'RE GOING. COME ON. THERE ARE ONLY 2 WORDS IN BED REST, AND YOU'RE DOING NEITHER OF THEM. OH, I'LL WALK HIM BACK. THANKS, DONNA. SUCH A DEAR GIRL. DONNA LOUISE CAMPBELL, 312 OAK DRIVE. I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU, HOW DID THAT DREAM HOUSE WORK OUT FOR YOU? DAD, QUIT SHOWING OFF. WHAT DO YOU WAN FOR CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR? WELL, I ACTUALLY NEED SOME NEW SOCKS. SURE. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] IT'S WHAT YOU WANTED, BUT IT'S NOT REALLY A CANE. NO. IT'S EVEN BETTER, AND LOOK. YOU CAN HANG IT ON A TREE FROM EITHER END. YEAH, BU IT'S NOT A CANE. GARY, DON'T ARGUE. JUST MAKE A MILLION OF THEM. GRANT! HELLO, BEAUTIFUL. I CAME TO SEE YOU LAST NIGHT, AND I COULDN'T FIND YOU. I WAS INSPIRED. VOILA! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE AN ARTIST. HOW'D YOU DO IT? THE ELVES. THEY'RE TALENTED LITTLE BUGGERS IF YOU CAN KEEP THEM ON-TASK AND OFF THE COCOA. [LAUGHS] CUTE. WHAT'S IT SUPPOSED TO BE? THE FUTURE, MARY. YOU SAID IT YOURSELF. DESTINATION SHOPPING. CAN YOU THINK OF A BETTER DESTINATION THAN SANTA'S VILLAGE? IT'S LIKE AN AMUSEMENT PARK WITH BIGGER STORES. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE. HOTELS, RESTAURANTS, RIDES, AND STORES. LOTS AND LOTS OF STORES. GRANT, YOU CAN' BRING PEOPLE HERE. WHY NOT? DID YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD KEEP ALL THIS A SECRET FOREVER? THIS PLACE HAS BEEN A SECRET FOREVER, AND IT'S GONNA STAY THAT WAY. YOU CAN' STAND IN THE WAY OF PROGRESS, MARY. THIS IS DIFFERENT! WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU? I THOUGHT THIS IS WHAT WE WANTED, WHAT WE ALWAYS DREAMED OF. GRANT, THIS IS MY HOME, NOT A SHOPPING MALL. PROMISE ME YOU'LL DESTROY THIS! WELL, MAYBE IT IS A BIT MUCH. PROMISE ME! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! HERE I COME! WHOA! WHOA! [CRASH] GO. WE'LL TALK LATER. [ELF SHOUTING] I MEAN IT. Luke: I'M TELLING YOU, IT HAPPENED. WOW. Santa: LOOK AT THIS. IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU, SIR. GRANT FOLEY. HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN QUITE A WHILE. NO. I GUESS YOU HAVEN'T. NICHOLAS. MOTHER, WELL DONE! PLEASE, EVERYONE, SIT DOWN. GREAT. THANK YOU. IT LOOKS GREAT. Santa: AHH! WELL, I MUST SAY, THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE. IF I WEREN'T HERE MYSELF, I WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. MARY'S FRIENDS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME. GO AHEAD. TAKE ONE. HA HA! HERE YOU GO. THIS REALLY IS SOME AMAZING SET-UP YOU HAVE HERE. DO YOU OWN ALL THE PROPERTY IN THE VALLEY? THE MOUNTAINS AND EVERYTHING? I'D HAVE TO CHECK THE PAPERWORK, BUT WE'VE BEEN HERE QUITE A WHILE. THE DETAILS, THEY GE A LITTLE FUZZY. IT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE. PRIME REAL ESTATE. IS THAT SO? HEY, MAILMAN, DO YOU MIND OVERNIGHTING ME THOSE PEAS? GRANT! WHAT? I'M KIDDING. [LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY] SURE. THANKS, BUDDY. YOU'RE WELCOME. AHH! AHEM! SO, SIR, I COULDN' HELP BUT NOTICING YOUR RATHER INTERESTING TROPHY THERE. OH, YES, WELL, I'M AFRAID BLITZEN AND I HAD A BIT OF A SPA BACK IN '81. HE LEFT ME NO CHOICE. [LAUGHS] [ SANTA LAUGHING] HE'S PULLING YOUR LEG. IT'S A FAKE. I GOT IT IN A FLEA MARKET. HEE HEE HEE! HEE HEE HEE HEE! EHH... AHEM! SO, GRANT, YOU MUST HAVE CHRISTMAS PLANS BACK HOME WITH YOUR FAMILY? FUNNY YOU SHOULD MENTION FAMILY. MR. CLAUS, I KNOW THA YOU GET A LOT OF REQUESTS THIS TIME OF YEAR, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. YEAH. UH, YES. WELL, IN THAT SPIRIT, THERE'S SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO ASK OF YOU. OH? MARY AND I HAVE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER FOR QUITE SOME TIME, AND WHILE I WAS GOING TO WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS DAY, I JUST COULDN'T HOPE FOR BETTER COMPANY, SO I'D LIKE TO ASK MARY A VERY SPECIAL QUESTION. [CLEARS THROAT] WOULD YOU DO ME THE HONOR OF BEING MY WIFE? I...UH... EXCUSE ME. AHEM! [DOOR CLOSES] UH... HEY, COULD I GE THE BUTTER, PLEASE? WHAT'S WRONG? GRANT, GRANT, GRANT. IT'S NOT EXACTLY THE REACTION I WAS HOPING FOR. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? GEE, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE THAT I LOVE YOU AND THAT WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES? YEAH, BUT WHY NOW? BECAUSE WE'RE HERE WITH YOUR PARENTS. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THE PERFECT MOMENT. [LAUGHS LIGHTLY] I'M GONNA NEED SOME TIME. WE CAN WAI AS LONG AS YOU WANT. 6 MONTHS, A YEAR-- TIME ISN'T GONNA CHANGE HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. WHY SHOULD IT CHANGE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME? WE BELONG TOGETHER, MARY. I LOVE YOU. JUST... EXCUSE ME. HAVE SOME SPROUTS. MMM! [COUGHS] [LAUGHS] CONGRATULATIONS? DONNA. WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON? I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW! MAYBE HE REALLY MISSED ME. SO THIS WAS HIS PLAN ALL ALONG? HE'S PROBABLY BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR MONTHS. MAYBE EVEN AT THANKSGIVING. THAT'S WHY HE WANTED ME TO GO TO HIS PARENTS'. HMM. WHAT? DID HE BRING A RING? [DOG WHINING] STAY. GOOD BOY. LEAVING BEFORE PIE? I SHOULDN'T HAVE COME. IT WAS A MISTAKE. THE ONLY MISTAKE I SEE IS GIVING UP BEFORE THE RACE IS OVER. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? LUKE, YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT HERE FOR 20 YEARS. NOBODY LIKES THE ELVES THAT MUCH-- NOT EVEN ME. BIT OF ADVICE-- IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO JUST WANT SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS. YOU'VE GOT TO ASK FOR IT. GOOD NIGHT. HEY, DONNA. BROUGHT YOU SOME LEFTOVERS. THANKS. SO I NOTICED YOU NEVER WEAR ANYTHING CHRISTMASY. YEAH. I JUST BROUGH WHAT I HAD. WELL, I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING. OH. UH, WHAT IS THAT? HOLLY? MISTLETOE. [LAUGHS] YOU MOVE REALLY FAST. I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME. SANTA BABY, A '54 CONVERTIBLE TOO, LIGHT BLUE I'LL WAIT UP FOR YOU, DEAR, SANTA BABY SO HURRY DOWN THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT THINK OF ALL THE FUN I'VE MISSED THINK OF ALL THE FELLAS THAT I HAVEN'T KISSED NEXT YEAR, I COULD BE JUST AS GOOD IF YOU'D CHECK OU MY CHRISTMAS LIST [SIGHS] HERE YOU GO, DAD. HERE'S YOUR TOFU SCRAMBLE AGAIN. MOM'S MAKING SOME WHOLE WHEAT PANCAKES. WE'RE JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OU HOW TO MAKE IT WITHOU BUTTER OR SYRUP. YUM, YUM. INTERESTING FELLOW, THAT GRANT. DON'T START, DAD. WHAT? I'M JUST SAYING. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO MEET HIM ONCE OR TWICE BEFORE YOU TWO GOT SO SERIOUS. BELIEVE ME, I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE THAT SERIOUS. HI, BOSS--I MEAN, HI...BOSS. 'CAUSE NOW... SHE'S NOW... GARY. HMM? WHAT IS IT? OH. THOUGHT YOU MIGH LIKE TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. HA! STILL THINK I COULDN'T DO IT? OH! PRODUCTIVITY UP... A MILLION PERCENT. WAIT. IS THAT RIGHT? YOU BETCHA! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU'RE MAKING A MILLION TIMES MORE TOYS THAN YOU WERE BEFORE? A MILLION TIMES MORE? UHH! I WISH! IF ANYTHING, WE'RE FALLING WAY BEHIND. UHH! YOU STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT PRODUCTIVITY MEANS, DO YOU? YES. IT'S WHEN, IF YOU HAVE A-- WHEN, YOU KNOW--NO. [SIGHS] [SNICKERS] WHAT ABOU ALL THE REPORTS? WELL, YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO SEE REPORTS THAT SAID PRODUCTIVITY WAS UP. THAT'S WHAT I GAVE YOU. OK, BUT WHAT ABOU ALL THE CHANGES? WHAT ABOUT THE MACHINE? YEAH. THAT MACHINE? IT'S NOT WORKING OU AS WELL AS YOU'D HOPED. AHEM! [BEEPS] [SQUEAKS AND WHISTLES] WHERE ARE THE INSIDES? THE GEARS, THE COGS? OH, THEY JUS GOT IN THE WAY. [SQUEAKS] THE MACHINE IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE TOYS! YEAH. THAT'S WHAT-- WAIT. WHAT?! GARY, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME? [SIGHS] UHH! UHH! UHH! UHH! UHH! NICE FORM. [GASPS] LUKE. [SNIFFS] HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING? [SNIFFLING AND CRYING] I SCREWED UP. WHAT? I SCREWED UP BAD. I, UM... [SNIFFS] I RUINED CHRISTMAS. MARY, COME ON. IT CAN'T BE ALL THAT BAD. THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TOYS. THE ELVES ARE EVEN MORE CONFUSED THAN USUAL. AND EVERYBODY'S UNHAPPY, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT. MARY, COME ON. DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF. I MEAN, IT'S AN IMPOSSIBLE JOB. LOOK HOW MUCH YOU'VE GOTTEN DONE ALREADY. DO YOU THINK WE'D BE BETTER OFF IF YOU HADN' TAKEN OVER? TELL THAT TO THE KIDS. I WON'T HAVE TO. IT'S CHRISTMAS. IT WORKS OUT. IT ALWAYS DOES. THANKS. FOR WHAT? FOR BEING ON MY SIDE. YOU ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. THANKS, BUT I REALLY DON'T THINK RIBBON CANDY'S GONNA FIX THIS ONE. [LAUGHS] WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE? ALWAYS BE PREPARED. WELL, WELL, WELL, THE OLD SEDUCTION KIT. YEAH. [COUGHS] HAS THIS STUFF BEEN UP HERE ALL THOSE YEARS? SINCE PROM. OH! HA HA HA! WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY ANYTHING THAT NIGHT? ARE YOU KIDDING? I WAS JUST A KID. YOUR DAD KNOWS IF I'VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD. AND THEN YOU LEFT. WELL, YOU DIDN'T EXACTLY STAY IN TOUCH, DID YOU? I GUESS WE BOTH MADE SOME MISTAKES. I GUESS SO. [ENGINE STARTS] OH, MY GOD! GRANT! MARY! MARY, WAIT! GRANT, WAIT! GRANT! [SIGHS] GRANT! GRANT, PLEASE! I'M SORRY! SOMEHOW I DOUBT THAT. CHEATING ON ME, MARY? ON ME? AND WITH THA ICEBERG HILLBILLY? IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. OH, REALLY? WHICH PART? THE PART WHERE I CATCH YOU IN THE ARMS OF ANOTHER MAN OR THE PART WHERE YOU THROW BOTH OUR CAREERS OUT THE WINDOW? I'M SORRY. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? I DIDN'T PLAN ANY OF THIS. OH, PLEASE. I THOUGHT I LEFT THIS ALL BEHIND ME. BUT I CAN'T... CAN'T HELP HOW I FEEL. LUKE IS-- THERE ARE MORE IMPORTAN THINGS AT STAKE HERE THAN THE MAILMAN. IS THAT--? I TOLD YOU TO DESTROY THAT! THE BIGGES BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY THAT EITHER OF US HAS EVER HAD A CRACK AT. I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU SCREW THIS UP, MARY. I HAD CORPORATE RUN SOME NUMBERS. YOU DID WHAT?! GRANT, I TRUSTED YOU! YEAH. L, I TRUSTED YOU. SEE WHERE THAT GOT ME? [GASPS] I'M TAKING THIS TO THE BOARD TO PITCH MY IDEA. IF YOU'RE SMART, YOU'LL COME WITH ME. YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND. FINE. ENJOY THE PEACE AND QUIET, MARY, 'CAUSE WHEN NEX CHRISTMAS ROLLS AROUND, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE SOME NEW NEIGHBORS. NOW, HOLD I RIGHT THERE, YOUNG MAN. WHAT DO YOU WANT, SIR? OH, IT'S NOT ABOU WHAT I WANT, GRANT. IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT. OH, THIS SHOULD BE GOOD. [BLOWS WHISTLE] HONK, HONK! IT'S A RED RADIO FLYER. JUST LIKE THE ONE YOU WANTED-- WHEN I WAS 6! GET A CLUE, YOU OLD COOT! I DON'T DO LITTLE RED WAGONS. I DO RED ITALIAN SPORTS CARS, AND I CAN BUY ONE MYSELF. YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE. BOYS. GET HIM. [KARATE YELLS] ON 3... 3! HYAH! OH! UHH! UHH! OH! UHH! OW! YEAH. I GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! OW! OW! MARY, IT'S NOT TOO LATE. GRANT, DON'T DO THIS. COME WITH ME. [LAUGHS] [ELVES SQUABBLING] ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH. COME ON, GET UP. GET OUT OF HERE. COME ON. UHH! UHH! [SIGHS] [TELEPHONE RINGS] [RINGS] [RINGS] [RINGS] [RINGS] HELLO? OK. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. OK. I GOTTA RUN. [EXHALES] MARY NEEDS ME. OK. I HAD A LOT OF FUN. CALL ME! [BLOWS WHISTLE] HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? PROBABLY ANOTHER STAFF MEETING. OH. WELL, GANG, TIME'S UP. I KNOW YOU ALL DID A LOT OF WORK, BUT I'M AFRAID I LET YOU DOWN. I TRIED RUNNING THINGS MY WAY, AND, WELL, WE ALL SEE WHERE THAT GOT US. AND BECAUSE OF ME, SOMEBODY CAME HERE WHO DIDN'T BELONG, AND I MAY HAVE JEOPARDIZED OUR FUTURE HERE. I'M SO SORRY. I TOOK AWAY THE JOY OF CHRISTMAS. WELL... NO MORE. IT'S HIGH TIME WE HAD A COOKIE BREAK. [ELVES GASP] YOU ALL DESERVE IT! [APPLAUSE, LAUGHTER, AND CHEERING] COOKIE BREAK! YEAH! [CHATTER AND CHEERING] COOKIES FOR EVERYBODY! HA HA HA HA! COME ON, COME ON. [INDISTINCT CHATTER] ["MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY" PLAYING] [OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS AND LAUGHTER] ...WE'RE ON TO THE FUTURE NOW IT'S ONLY JUST BEGUN HO, HO, HO! [MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING INDISTINCTLY] [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] THAT WAS QUITE A SPEECH YOU GAVE. I HAVEN'T SEEN THE ELVES THAT HAPPY IN A LONG TIME. I REALLY BLEW IT. HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO WRONG ABOUT SOMEBODY? WHAT IF I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING? YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE, MARY. IF THE GRANT MESS ISN'T ENOUGH, HOW CAN WE HAVE CHRISTMAS WITHOUT ENOUGH TOYS? COME ON. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. COME. COME ON. COME ON. [GASPS] DAD! YEAH. WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THESE? IT TURNS OUT I HAD A LOT OF FREE TIME ON MY HANDS SINCE YOU TOOK OVER. OH, MY GOSH. YEP. IS IT REALLY ENOUGH? AS LONG AS YOU BELIEVE, YOU'RE READY TO GO. Mrs. Claus: IT'S OUT WITH THE NEW ONE, IN WITH THE OLD. PUT SOME MUSCLE INTO IT. MRS. C, MRS. C! I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED WITH GRANT. WHERE'S MARY? IN THE BARN, AND YOU BETTER HURRY. [GRUNTS] COME ON! PULL AS HARD AS YOU CAN! HEY, I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED. WOW! LOOK AT YOU! MARY, WHA ARE YOU DOING? I'M GOING AFTER HIM. IN THIS? YOU GETTING IN? REFRESH MY MEMORY. WHAT IS IT YOU SAY TO GET THEM GOING AGAIN? HA HA HA! VERY FUNNY. [EXHALES] THEY'RE GONNA FLY, THEY'RE GONNA FLY, THEY'RE GONNA FLY. YOU READY? I HOPE SO. WELL? WELL, WHAT? OH! RIGHT. ON DASHER! WHOA! IT'S GRANT. I'M AT THE AIRPORT. I'M GETTING ON THE CHOPPER NOW. THIS BETTER BE AS GOOD AS YOU PROMISED. I PULLED THE ENTIRE BOARD AWAY FROM THEIR FAMILIES. DON'T WORRY, SIR. IT'LL KNOCK YOUR STOCKINGS OFF! [BEEPS] Mary: THERE THEY ARE! YAHOO! [SLEIGH BELLS RINGING] WHAT'S THAT SOUND? Mary: E WE COME, GRANT! Luke: YOU BETTER RUN! OH, MY LORD! LOOK! COME ON, DONNER! GO! OH, NO. COME ON, GET ME OUT OF HERE. WHAT? GO, NOW! LET'S GO! Mary: GO, GO, GO! Luke: WHOA! WHOA! YAHOO! WHOA! YOU'RE GETTING PRETTY GOOD AT THIS. COME ON, FASTER! MOVE IT! WE'RE GOING PRETTY FAST. LOOK, IT'S A SLED, ALL RIGHT? LOSE THEM! Luke: I DON'T SEE HIM. WHERE'D HE GO? LOOKS LIKE WE LOST THEM. GOOD. TAKE ME TO THE OFFICE. HI, THERE. THEY'RE ALL HERE. THANKS. GRANT. IT'S ABOUT TIME. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO JUSTIFY THESE NUMBERS TO THE BOARD. NOW, YOU'RE TALKING ABOU SPENDING $90 MILLION IN NORTHERN CANADA. NOT TO WORRY, TJ. WE'LL RECOUP THOSE COSTS WITHIN THE FIRST YEAR. THIS PROPERTY IS THE CENTERPIECE OF MY NEW PLAN. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD. I GIVE YOU THE ULTIMATE IN DESTINATION SHOPPING. GRANT... WHAT MAKES THIS THE ULTIMATE IN DESTINATION SHOPPING? WELL, YOU'RE NO GONNA BELIEVE THIS. WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THESE PICTURES. LATE. LATE. I'M SORRY I'M LATE. OH, MS. CLASS. WELCOME. WE WERE TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROPOSAL. MY-- WELL, OURS. TJ THINKS IT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA. WELL, I THINK IT'S... A TERRIFIC PLAN. A UNIQUE CHRISTMAS-THEMED MALL. GRANT AND I JUST HAD A DIFFERENCE IN OPINION ABOUT LOCATION. OH, REALLY? MARY-- I'M SURE HE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE AVALANCHE PROBLEM. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] AVALANCHE? WELL, IT'S NOTHING THAT THE ENGINEERS CAN'T WORK AROUND. YEAH, SURE. ASSUMING THEY CAN HANDLE THE COLD. COLD? 30 BELOW... AND THAT IS ON A WARM DAY. CLEARLY, IF THESE WERE ISSUES, THERE WOULDN'T BE A TOWN...RIGHT THERE! OH, IT'S AN INUIT TOWN. GRANT, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SELL ME HERE? MARY, STOP IT. STOP WHAT, GRANT? I TOLD YOU BEFORE, I THINK IT'S A TERRIFIC IDEA FOR A MALL... JUST OUTSIDE BISMARCK OR NEAR MINNEAPOLIS. NO, IT HAS TO BE HERE. IT HAS TO BE HERE! MR. HAMILTON, I APOLOGIZE. GRANT IS UNDER A LOT OF STRESS. NO, IT'S NOT STRESS! YOU KNOW THA IS HAS TO BE HERE. DON'T DENY IT. GRANT, DARLING, IT'S ALL RIGHT. I THINK YOU JUST NEED TO TAKE A LITTLE REST. NO. TELL THEM! YOU TELL THEM WHAT'S UP THERE. IT'S SANTA'S VALLEY. THE WORKSHOP, THE REINDEER, THE ELVES. IT'S ALL THERE. THIS IS THE REAL SANTA. THIS IS THE REAL SANTA. I HAVE PICTURES. YOU CAN SEE IT ALL. GO ON. TELL THEM. HONEY, THIS IS THE PETTING ZOO. PLEASE UNDERSTAND. GRANT IS REALLY TRYING TO HELP. I JUST THINK HE MIGHT NEED A LITTLE...TIME OFF. GRANT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT BY THIS PRACTICAL JOKE, BUT YOU HAVE PULLED US ALL AWAY FROM OUR FAMILIES ON CHRISTMAS EVE TO PITCH US THIS RIDICULOUS PROJECT. NOW, I THINK THAT YOU OUGHT TO RECONSIDER YOUR POSITION IN THE COMPANY. BECAUSE I KNOW I WILL. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I AM SORRY. I APOLOGIZE. MY REGARDS TO YOUR FAMILIES. AND WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER... AFTER THE HOLIDAYS. NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. THIS IS PERFECT. OKAY, DON'T YOU SEE? THERE'S A MONORAIL, AND IT RUNS RIGHT THROUGH THE WORKSHOP. NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT'S A BAD IDEA. THERE'S NO MONORAIL. THANK YOU, HOLLY. NO, GUYS, HEY, THIS IS-- COME ON, I'LL WALK YOU OUT. OKAY. THIS IS--THIS IS A PRELIM, DRAFT 1. HEY, WE'RE STILL ON FOR RACQUETBALL FRIDAY, RIGHT? YOU AND ME, BUDDY, WE GOT IT, WE'LL DO IT. HEY, UH... I'LL STAY HERE. YOU GUYS GO ON. GET OUT OF HERE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. GO-- MR. HAMILTON, DO ME A FAVOR AND DON'T BE TOO HARD ON GRANT. UH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, MS. CLASS. IT IS THE SEASON OF FORGIVENESS. [CHUCKLE] OH, ACTUALLY, I'M GOING UP. [JINGLE] OH. I SEE. THANKS. FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING. IS THERE ANYTHING I COULD DO FOR YOU? YES. THERE IS ONE THING. I WAS HOPING TO HAVE IT REPAIRED FOR MY GRANDSON. I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE WHO MAY BE ABLE TO HELP YOU OUT. EXCELLENT. EXCUSE ME. I... HAVE TO GET HOME. AND I'M SURE THAT YOU HAVE THINGS TO DO YOURSELF. ACTUALLY, I DO. TAKE CARE, MS. CLASS. YOU, TOO. OH! MERRY CHRISTMAS. THANK YOU. HOW'D IT GO? I THINK WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY. WELL, THERE'S JUS ONE MORE THING. I NEVER GOT WHAT I WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS. WOW. I'M REALLY GONNA DO THIS. AHH... HO HO HO! Mary: MERRY CHRISTMAS! AHEM. [SNORING] WELL... THIS IS DIFFERENT. MORNING, DAD. NICE TECHNIQUE. [CHUCKLE] THANKS. FOR ME? WELL, YOU WERE KIND OF ON THE FENCE WITH THE WHOLE NAUGHTY/NICE THING FOR A WHILE. BUT YOU PULLED THROUGH. I JUST... I WANTED CHRISTMAS TO BE PERFECT. OH, WHEN IS CHRISTMAS EVER PERFECT? I'VE BEEN DOING THIS A LONG TIME, AND I HAVEN' GOTTEN IT RIGHT YET. REALLY? YOU? EVERY YEAR, IT'S SOMETHING-- RUN OUT OF TRICYCLES, FORGET BELGIUM... BUT THIS CHRISTMAS? BETTER THAN EVER, BECAUSE OF YOU. THANKS, POP. HMM. [GIGGLING] OH... YOU KNOW, I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT, BECAUSE I HAVE SOME GREA IDEAS FOR NEXT YEAR. NEXT YEAR? |
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