Yo! This is it.
Once again we, as a people, are late.
- Right.
- That's right. Late, late and more late.
Now, how is it that Columbia,
Dartmouth, Yale...
all of these supposed greater institutions
of higher learning...
can beat us, Mission College, to the punch?
Again I ask, how is this?
Can anybody here answer
this little question for me?
- What question?
- What question?
This question.
How is it that all of the schools
that I have mentioned...
and a lot more, I might add...
how is it that they have divested
all of their money in South Africa?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we backwoods Negroes here...
at the so-called finest black college
in the land...
- Mission College...
- That's right.
...we are holding onto ours?
Holding onto it like a wino
clutching his last bottle.
Yes!
Till we have completely divested,
we need to march...
we need to protest,
we need to disrupt classes...
we need to sit in,
we need to shut the school down if need be.
Gammites!
G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!
G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!
Now, this homecoming weekend...
is the perfect opportunity
for us to marshal this attack.
Gammites, halt!
- Real.
- Real.
- Real.
- Real.
Gammites!
Gammites!
Gammites!
It takes a real man to be a Gamma man...
'cause only a Gamma man is a real man.
You know what, Julian?
I thought that was really nice. I really did.
Now why don't you take your Gamma dogs
and get the fuck out of here?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
We of Gamma Phi Gamma do not agree
with this African mumbo-jumbo.
And I am here to let you know
that your revolutionary activities here...
at Mission College are detrimental...
not only to the student body
and the Administration...
but to our brothers and sisters
in South Africa, as well.
Meow!
- You need to wake up, Julian.
- That's right, God damn it.
Man. Yo, man, what's up?
Fellas, wait!
As President
of the Student Government Association...
and a key-wearing member
of Phi Beta Kappa...
I abhor and will not tolerate violence
or the threat of violence...
on this sacred campus.
- Fuck you, scrotum face!
- Yo, man.
Go read a book.
It is safe to say that President McPherson
agrees with me, 100%% .
So let's break this up.
Virgil, why don't you shut the fuck up?
You heard what I said.
Please, will you leave?
Dap, he did say "please."
Shut up, Monroe.
Okay.
This guy's full of shit, man.
Come on. Let's go.
- Hey, homeboy.
- Squash all of that. Squash all of that.
Gammites!
G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!
G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!
G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!
G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!
G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!
G-Phi-G, that's what we wanna be!
- Rachel...
- Dap.
Don't pay him no mind.
He's just trying to make you angry.
- Julian is bugged.
- No, Julian is smart, Rachel.
He's confused, but he's smart.
Come on. Walk me to my class.
I can't. I gotta stay in here.
I gotta stay in shantytown.
- See you later?
- Yeah. Okay.
Don't worry about it.
Be crisp, be clean!
Roll call!
Gammites!
Greetings...
Dean Big Brother Almighty...
most eloquent leader of Gamma Phi Gamma.
Gammites!
Hello,
Big Brother General George Patton, sir!
- Gammites!
- Hello, Big Brother Chucky.
No rush!
- Gammites!
- Hello, Big Brother Dr Feelgood.
- Gammites!
- Hello, Big Brother Lance.
- Gammites!
- What up, Big Brother X-Ray Vision?
I don't like none of these motherfuckers.
Man, you know, I hear they've been trying
to get some trim.
Oh, shit!
Julian, how long these sorry moonheads
been on line, anyhow?
Gammites, do you hear this?
Six weeks on line...
and you still do not meet the approval
of your Big Brothers.
This deeply grieves my heart.
Now, when you began,
there were 10 Gammites.
Now only eight remain.
Now, I do not know how many of you
will cross the burning sands...
to the oasis of Gamma Phi Gamma.
But I do know...
that there is no room for any pretenders.
A weak link amongst the ranks.
Which one of you is it?
- Slim Daddy!
- No, not my personal Slim.
- Rhino teeth.
- Don't be putting it on Slim.
- Mussolini.
- Mussolini.
- Porky.
- He couldn't be that big.
Sir Nosy.
- Sir Nose.
- That's a nose.
- Yoda, definitely.
- Yoda wears...
No, it couldn't be Yoda.
It was Nose. It was Nose.
Yoda, there's no truth but truth.
Oh, no! Oh, no!
- Mustafa.
- Double Rubber!
- Don't lose me my bet.
- Don't get close. Doo-Doo Breath!
- Doo-Doo.
- Unsavoury students.
- Half-Pint!
- Yes, Dean Big Brother Almighty.
- How tall are you?
- Five feet, five inches.
Yeah, you're a 5'5" piece of shit.
Yes, Dean Big Brother Almighty.
I don't even know why you pledged.
This is not for you.
Gamma men are real men.
- I am a real man, a Gamma man.
- Were you asked to speak?
You're not a Gamma man yet.
Brothers,
I suspect this sawed-off human being...
hasn't even had a girl yet.
- It's not true.
- Isn't that right?
- I bet you're still a virgin, aren't you?
- No, Dean Big Brother Almighty.
- Are you calling me a liar?
- No, Dean Big Brother Almighty.
- I haven't been a virgin since ninth grade.
- Bullshit! You're a goddamn virgin!
You ain't seen no parts of the pussy.
I'm not no virgin.
You'll become a Gamma man
over my dead body.
I don't even know how you got this far.
You're weak, a pussy.
And you're gonna drop
just like your cousin.
I'll be a good Gamma man.
You'll see, you'll see.
- Look, don't be eyeballing me.
- Lay off him, Julian.
You'll become a Gamma man
over my dead body.
Now, look.
You better get a freak over here tonight.
And no Gamma Rays, neither.
I don't care if she's blind, fat...
no teeth, one leg and a kickstand.
I ain't pledging no virgins.
You got it?
So you get that freak over here tonight.
Now straighten up
and get the hell out of here, all of you!
Get that smile off your face.
Darrell.
Sorry, but I can't let the Big Brothers
see me talking to you.
Thanks a lot. So what's up?
Dean Big Brother Almighty went off on me.
I told you not to pledge.
So what else is new?
I gotta bring a girlie back
to the Gamma House tonight.
- He thinks I'm a virgin.
- For once in his life he's right.
- Come on, Dap.
- So what you want me to do?
The Gamma grapevine says
we'll be going over tomorrow night.
And any fault they find will "X" me.
I'm your first cousin, family blood.
You've got to help me.
Hey, Darrell, when you needed money,
I gave it to you.
When you needed your laundry done,
I did it for you.
I got you food and stuff
for your Big Brothers.
I just don't happen to have no females
laying around the dorm.
And even if I did,
I wouldn't help you like that, man.
This one day,
can you forget about your differences...
with Dean Big Brother Almighty?
- You mean Julian?
- No, Dean Big Brother Almighty.
- Julian.
- No, I mean Dean Big Brother Almighty.
All right, already, Darrell. Damn.
Vaughn. Think about me. This'll be my neck.
Can't you talk to Rachel?
She has a lot of girlfriends.
Rachel? No, no, no, no.
No haps, man.
What, have you been smoking crack?
- Don't you know any women?
- The ones I know I asked already.
What about the ones you don't know?
Did you ask them?
What am I gonna say?
Say...
I don't know. Tell them what they want
to hear. You know, lie your butt off, man.
Okay, okay. Better yet...
- just be yourself, Darrell, okay?
- Okay.
Come on, man. Come on. Get up. Come on.
Get up, get up.
You will be a Gamma man tomorrow.
- Think so?
- You damn skippy.
Wait a minute. You go first.
We wouldn't want Dean Big Brother
Almighty to see us together, would we?
Very funny.
- Thanks, cuz. I won't forget this.
- All right, man.
- Gamma!
- Yeah, yeah.
This man had a vision.
And that vision was passed down
to his son, Haywood.
Mission College was founded to educate
the sons and daughters of slaves...
You don't have to recite our history to me.
Now, we have been
and we'll continue to be grateful...
for the support of the Snodgrass family.
- The food is getting cold.
- All right.
Hold it. I've got something else to say.
This is a new day.
There is a feeling
that the predominantly black college...
for all intents and purposes,
has outlived its usefulness.
Over the years, it has been vital
to our elevation in this great country...
but the need no longer exists
in an integrated society.
That's absurd. It does exist.
It exists at Notre Dame...
and Yeshiva, Brandeis, at Brigham Young.
Now you tell me, what is the difference?
You want to know the difference?
I'll tell you.
The difference is that the Catholics alone
support the Notre Dames.
The Jews alone support the Yeshivas.
Mormons support the Brigham Youngs.
Who supports the black colleges?
I'll tell you who.
The federal government
and philanthropists like Snodgrass.
Harold, why won't blacks support
Spelman, Tuskegee...
Morehouse, Howard?
- We do.
- Barely!
Look, as Chairman of the Board,
I was sent here to talk with you.
Now, he does not like this divestment mess,
and I don't like it, either.
Now, you better snip it right here at the bud,
or I will.
'Cause if you don't,
you stand a good chance of losing them.
There it is.
Yeah. People like them don't like to be told
what to do with their money.
Old, old money.
Shit, I tell you all time after time,
do not sit here again.
Stay off my bed. Stay in your own room.
Ignorant motherfuckers, I swear, man.
Sorry about the bed, homeboy.
But check this out,
we got a question for you, man.
- What's up with your cousin Half-Pint?
- Yo, man, why is he pledging?
Yo, man, you wanna take your last breath?
I didn't think so. That's my cousin.
You leave him alone.
You don't talk about him like that.
- We understand each other?
- I'm sorry, man.
But seriously, man,
what's up with the Pint, man?
But seriously, who's going back to the
Administration building with me tonight?
Not the kid.
Man, you crazy.
We're going to the coronation.
- More butts and more titties.
- That's right, God damn it.
Hey, wait a minute.
I thought y'all was down for the cause.
- Yeah, you my brother, but God damn, man.
- That's right, God damn.
You should lighten up on that shit,
Malcolm, seriously.
- He's right, Nat Turner.
- Marcus Garvey.
Frederick Douglass.
Yeah.
You all can kiss my black ass twice, hear?
Preach, Jesse. Preach on.
Yo, Farrakhan, relax.
Don't be so sensitive, my man. Chill.
What about the parade? Somebody coming
to the parade with me, maybe?
Hey, I'm down, man, but not tonight.
I gots to see some butt shaking, you know.
Word up. I'm with him.
That ain't no joke, man. I can't...
What about the rest of y'all?
Tomorrow.
All right, bet. Enjoy yourselves. I'll see you
all tomorrow morning, 9:00 a.m. Sharp.
That's Kool & The Gang, brother.
Later.
- Jordan, this look familiar?
- Looks like your mother.
- Yo, yo, my ball, man.
- You don't need it.
Gamma.
Anybody call me? Perry.
- How you doing?
- How are you?
- You recognise me?
- Yeah, I've seen you on line.
Aren't you number one?
Yeah, that's me.
Half-Pint, Gammite number one.
Gamma Phi Gamma.
- Pleased to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- So it's almost that time, huh?
- Yeah, it'll be any day now.
Are you excited?
A little.
So, Half-Pint, what can I do for you?
I was wondering maybe
if we could see each other...
go out to a movie, a restaurant,
pop some Jiffy Pop popcorn together.
- You know, enjoy each other's company.
- Yeah, sure.
That'd be nice. That sounds real good.
Why don't you come by after you go over.
I'm usually in at night.
- I was thinking soon.
- How soon?
- Like now, at the Gamma House.
- Sorry.
- I can't.
- We could have fun. Big fun.
Just give me one reason why not, just one.
First of all, I don't know you from Adam.
You just pop out of thin air,
and I'm supposed to say yes?
I've always been attracted to you.
I just couldn't tell you before. I was shy.
But now that I've been pledging,
I'm a different person.
Well, I'm not attracted to you. Besides,
I don't want a physical relationship.
All you guys are dogs.
I've heard about you Gammas.
I'm not trying to dog you. Look at my face.
Can't a real Gamma man
be attracted to you, huh?
Is this some type of a joke?
Did your Big Brother send you over here?
I don't have time for children's games.
And you're so small,
I'd probably break you in two.
See? See? See? I knew it. I knew it.
That's okay.
Gamma Rays, I call to order
the 35th meeting of the Sister Order...
of Gamma Phi Gamma Fraternity,
Incorporated.
Meow.
Meow.
Kim, could you read the minutes
from the last meeting, please?
All right. We decided that Velda will
take care of the music for the fashion show.
Velda, please,
none of that hip-hop B-Boys nonsense.
- Yeah.
- I happen to like Run-D.M.C.
Nevertheless, leave it at home.
- Miriam, did you call the boutiques?
- Yes, I did.
- Did you make a list of the suppliers?
- Yes, I did.
She is such a pain in the ass.
Look. Let's not make this long, okay?
We have to get dressed.
- Now what have we decided?
- Okay. I talked to the Brothers...
and the Gammites are definitely going over
tomorrow night.
All right.
- So we should give them a party.
- Yes.
They haven't had fun for so long,
a jam will be on.
- Where, at the frat house?
- Yeah, at the Gamma House.
The brothers said it was cool,
but we have to clean up first.
- Clean up?
- Are you crazy?
Look, we have been cleaning up
after those sorry, tired, trifling...
shiftless Negroes from day one.
And I am not cleaning up. I refuse to clean.
Miriam, why are you always complaining?
This is for G-Phi-G.
- For the black and silver.
- Yet and still, I am no maid.
- And we are?
- Well, I have a question.
- Who's gonna pay for it this time?
- We're giving it, we should pay for it.
- We always pay for it.
- Common sense.
We are gonna pay for it.
Now, Dina, how much did we make
from the bake sale?
Enough.
I'm not going to the party.
- Where's the freaks?
- Here's to the Liberty Bowl, man.
- Couldn't get one.
- Oh, shit!
You've been jamming us up
since we started, man. I don't go over...
- I'm coming up.
- Four women.
- What's wrong with five?
- Come on, man.
Hold up. Listen, Half-Pint.
You got to go back out and bring in a freak.
- Two freaks.
- Yeah.
Here's $5. All this is, is a test.
And you're going to pass
with flying colours.
I want you to take that $5 US currency...
and go to the pet shop, get yourself a kitten.
Put it in a cage and mark it "Pussy."
Give it to Dean Big Brother Almighty
and say, "Pass the pussy."
- Pass the pussy
- Meow
Pass the pussy
That's what you got to do
Pass the pussy
It won't work.
Pass the pussy, pass the pussy
The word is "excuse me."
Nobody told you to stand in the hall, either.
- Excuse me.
- That's better, Miss Thing.
It's not real.
- Say what?
- You heard.
It ain't even real.
You wish you had hair like this.
Girl, you know you weren't even born
with blue eyes.
That's right. Blue contact lenses.
- You're just jealous.
- Right.
Jealous?
Rachel, I've been watching you
look at Julian. You're not slick.
- Lf that was true, he wasn't much to look at.
- Tell her, Rachel.
- Pickaninny.
- Barbie doll.
- High-yellow heifer.
- Tar baby.
- Wannabe white.
- Jigaboo.
- Don't start.
- We're gonna finish it.
Re-Re, open up!
Talking about good and bad hair
Whether you're dark or you're fair
So you can go on and swear
See if I care
Good and bad hair
Don't you wish you had hair like this
Then the boys would give you a kiss
Talk about nothing but bliss
Then you're gonna see what you missed
If a fly should land on your head
Then I'm sure he'd break all his legs
'Cause you got so much grease up there
Dear, is that a weave that you wear?
Well, you got cockleburs
Standing all over your head
Well, you got sandy spurs
Rather have mine instead
You're just a jigaboo
Trying to find something to do
Well, you're a wannabe
Wanna be better than me
Bad hair's only good for one thing
If you get a lick, back it'll spring
Can't you, don't your hair stand on high?
Can't you comb it and don't you try?
Don't you know my hair is so strong
It can break the teeth out the comb?
I don't have to put up at night
What you have to keep out of sight
Well, you got cockleburs
Standing all over your hair
Well, you got sandy spurs
You rather have mine instead
You're just a jigaboo
Trying to find something to do
Well, you're a wannabe
Wanna be better than me
Yeah?
Get off.
- Stop it!
- Honey.
Get out!
Get out of here, Miriam!
- All right.
- I'll get you, Rachel.
Move out of my way.
Oh, my hair!
Go, girl.
You better dance, girl.
Sharon! Knock her down.
- Knock her down.
- You better get out of my face, girl.
- Knock her down.
- You gotta hold her back.
Don't worry.
You better point that somewhere else.
Jigs!
Jigs!
Hey, get off me!
- Get off!
- What are you doing?
Watch it!
- Get out of here!
- What do you think you're doing?
- Get back.
- You better learn how to control your girl.
I'm not playing with you, Rachel.
Heifer.
Jigaboo.
Your hair ain't no longer than
So you'll never fling it all back
You afraid to walk in the rain
Oh, what a shame
Who's to blame?
Don't you ever worry about that
'Cause I don't mind being black
- Don't try it
- Go on with your old mixed-up head
I ain't never gonna be afraid
Well, you got nappy hair
Nappy's all right with me
My hair is straight, you see
Your soul's crooked as can be
Look who's getting new today
Look anywhere you please
Not at that kitchen of yours
Mind now what you say
Talking about good and bad hair
Whether you're dark or you're fair
Go on and swear
See if I care
Good and bad hair
Talking about good and bad hair
Whether you're dark or you're fair
Go on and swear
See if I care
Good and bad hair
Talking about good and bad hair
Whether you're dark or you're fair
Go on and swear
See if I care
Good and bad hair
Go on and swear
See if I care
Good and bad hair
Go on and swear
See if I care
Good and bad hair
Go on and swear
See if I care
Good and bad hair
- Watch it.
- I will.
Wake up!
Move! Move! Move!
Gammites!
Greetings to the elite Big Brothers...
of Gamma Phi Gamma
Fraternity Incorporated...
Alpha Chapter!
Oh, shit!
Most honourable Big Brothers,
we only beg for your forgiveness!
Enough!
Now, what we have here...
is a menace to Gamma society.
- That's right.
- Get on with this.
Now, I motion for the death penalty.
That'll work.
The Chair, having recognised Dr Feelgood,
without objection the motion is carried.
- Grill these bastards.
- Grill.
Death will be too good
for these offenders of the law.
- Brothers?
- Yes, sir.
Let's make the streets safe to walk again.
- Here, here.
- For the women and chilluns.
See, we're gonna have to make a decision...
between the gas chamber,
the electric chair...
or death by goddamn lethal injection.
- You're guilty of eight counts of treason.
- Like a big bitch.
Guilty of eight counts of conspiracy.
I know you conspired.
Having been found guilty as charged...
I hereby sentence you to meet...
- Oh, no, Big Brother Almighty, no!
- No, no.
Big Bertha!
Be still! Lights out!
- What the fuck is this?
- Drop your sweats!
- Move. Let's go.
- Look at them drawers.
Bend over...
and assume the position.
In other words, knock it out of here, yeah!
Play ball!
I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs,
cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
You like me. You like me.
That's right. Yeah. That's right.
Fathers, forgive us for we have sinned.
Make my funk the P. Funk
I wants to get funked up
"There's nothing to fear but fear itself."
Fear this. Fear this.
- Miss Jane Diva's gonna get it.
- Yeah.
Isn't she on the Gamma court?
Not only is she on the court,
she is the queen.
Rachel, what are you doing?
If we don't leave now, we're not gonna get
a seat at the coronation.
That's right, Rachel. Let's go.
You can study later.
- I'm not going.
- Well, I suppose Dap isn't going, either.
Now, you know
that has nothing to do with it.
Spare me, Rachel.
Rachel, you haven't seen anybody else
since freshman year.
Don't you ever feel like seeing other guys,
like having other relationships?
- No.
- Yes, you do, Rachel.
No, I don't.
Come on. Listen, Dap's a good guy.
I like him.
One of the more positive brothers
on this campus, right, Lizzie?
That's right.
But I bet you he's snaking.
He can't help it. He's a man.
It's their nature.
- Are you coming or not, Rachel?
- No, I'm not going.
- Come on, Doris.
- You are tired.
She's tired, man. She put the "T" in tired.
And that's all somebody would have to do...
to get a bus and put a sign on it that says:
"All the fried chicken you want."
And you know black folks
would be on that bus in a hurry.
Or, "All the drugs you want."
Or, "All the alcohol you want."
Or, "All the..."
Would y'all excuse me for a minute, please?
I'll be right back.
Hey, how you doing?
- How long you gonna be out here?
- As long as it takes, Rachel.
- How long is that?
- Probably all night.
All night?
On this planet, only a few are chosen.
You do or you don't. You will or you won't.
Black and silver does.
G-Phi-G!
Ladies and gentlemen, friend and foe...
I present Miss Gamma Phi Gamma...
Jane Toussaint and her court.
We want ice.
I wanna know, is it worth it?
Trying to get this right
Trying to get this right
I know I shouldn't love you
You're always feeding me lies
Always feeding me lies
Now I'm staying home waiting
Ain't nothing on TV
On the TV
I don't want your prized possessions
I want you here with me
- I wanna let you know
- Know
- I'm not just for show
- Show
- Either you let me go
- Go
Or give me love, love, love
You got to understand the reason why
I wanna try to make things right
I don't wanna be alone tonight
Pretty baby
I don't want another useless night
I don't wanna be alone tonight
Oh, my Lord, have mercy
Oh, my God
Something's wrong in my head
Some say get her to a doctor
I came to see you instead
- I wanna let you know
- Know
- I'm not just for show
- Show
- Either you let me go
- Go
Or give me love, love, love
You got to understand the reason why
I wanna try to make things right
I don't wanna be alone tonight
But, pretty baby
I don't want another useless night
I don't wanna be alone tonight
I'm here to see you
'Cause I want you to feel my plight
I don't wanna be alone tonight
Boy, you got to either love me right
Or let me be
I don't wanna be alone tonight
Oh, no
- I wanna let you know
- Know
- I'm not just for show
- Show
- Either you let me go
- Go
Or give me love, love, love
You got to understand the reason why
I wanna try to make things right
I don't wanna be alone tonight
And, pretty baby
I don't want another useless night
I don't wanna be alone tonight
I'm here to see you
'Cause I want you to feel my plight
I don't wanna be alone tonight
Boy, you got to either love me right
Or let me be
I don't wanna be alone tonight
Boy
You know I love you
Oh, no, no, no, no, baby
Don't leave me here overnight
Oh, no, no, no, no, baby
Don't leave me here through the night
Damn it, Grady.
Why I get the sloppiest roommate in school,
I'll never know.
Do you have to use the whole can?
Well, you know Grady.
I mean, he don't feel at home...
unless it smells like a locker room in here,
you know.
Yeah.
What's the matter?
We had static
with Jane and the Gamma Rays.
Earlier today you told me
not to let Julian bother me.
So what's up with you and Jane, huh?
What happened, Rachel?
The usual.
Well, fuck them. I don't give two
motherfucks about them. So I don't see...
- Here we go.
- Here we go, where?
- Don't start, all right?
- What are you talking about? Don't start?
I know I have my problems with them,
but with you it's a crusade.
I'm beginning to think you're colour struck.
You definitely have a thing
against light-skinned blacks.
- Who, me?
- Yes, you.
No, no, Rachel. It's them. It's not me.
Come on, I adore octoroon,
quadroon mulattoes. They're so un-pure.
And you're 100%% pure?
Massa was in your ancestors' slave quarters
just like everybody else.
No, no, no. No white blood in me.
My stock 100%% pure Zulu Masai.
Nubian knight of Bingyjoint.
You are so silly.
But on the serious tip,
some of the wannabes are all right.
The rest suck.
If people are cool with me, Rachel,
I'm cool with them.
You're full of shit.
And you need to check yourself on that tip.
Butterflies begin
From having been another
As a child is born
From being in a mother's womb
But how many times
Have you wished you were some other
someone than who you are?
Yet who's to say
That if all were uncovered
You would like what you'd see?
You can only be you
As I can only be me
Flowers cannot bloom
Until it is their season
As we would not be here
Unless it was our destiny
But how many times
Have you wished to be in spaces
Time, places than where you were?
Yet who's to say
With unfamiliar faces
You could anymore be
Loving you that you see
You can only be you
As I can only be me
I can only be me
Oh, hold up. My arm's gone to sleep.
It's getting late.
Don't you have to go back?
I want you to spend the night, okay?
- What about Grady?
- Forget Grady.
I have something to tell you.
No, I'm not pregnant.
Okay. What?
- I'm pledging Delta next semester.
- You're what?
I'm going to pledge Delta next semester.
I've been to a couple of rushes,
and if they accept me, I'm gonna do it.
First it was Julian,
then it was Darrell, now you.
Everybody tripping or what? What is this?
- I don't believe this, Rachel.
- Believe it.
You sure know how to spoil
a pleasant evening.
I know how to spoil a pleasant evening?
I didn't come in here
talking about pledging no sorority.
I must have been sick in the head
to think I'd have your support.
Yeah. You must have been sick
in the head...
'cause you ain't getting my support
on nothing like that. No way.
- Thought I would.
- Yeah, well...
You know them sororities are just as bad
as fraternities, Rachel.
Vaughn, this is something that I want to do.
You have every right not to like the Greeks...
- but this is another matter.
- Now that's bullshit.
You haven't even considered the good
things that they do on campus and in the...
That's bullshit, Rachel!
They change people. You won't be the same.
People change for the worse
after they pledge.
If I seen it once, I seen it a million times.
- There's no way you can tell me...
- I'll be the same Rachel.
- And I'll still love you.
- Yeah.
Oh, fine.
Why don't you go join the Gamma Rays,
while you're at it?
Okay. Now I see.
This has nothing to do
with the Gamma Rays, right?
You know, Vaughn?
I've often wondered
if the only reason you're with me...
is because I'm one of the darkest sisters
on campus.
Good for your all-the-way-down,
pro-black nationalist image.
Rachel, Rachel.
Hey, how are you?
What's that?
G-Phi-G
The people united will never be defeated
G-Phi-G
She's so fine
Damn, the queen
Of your mind
Damn, the queen
She's so fine
Damn, the queen
Of your mind
Damn, the queen
She's so fine
Damn, the queen
Our people united will never be defeated
Our people united will never be defeated
G-Phi-G, let's go!
- Hold up. Hold up.
- Let's straighten this out.
Well, I see we meet again
under unpleasant circumstances.
Dap, you are in direct violation.
You need a permit from my office
to participate in this parade...
- and you don't have one.
- Dig it.
No permits, no parade.
- Julian, I can handle this myself.
- Well, handle it, then.
Excuse me.
- Give me the banner.
- We ain't giving you shit.
That's right, God damn it.
We pay tuition here just like everybody else.
Fucking wannabes make me sick.
When will you jigaboos ever learn
what it is to do it by the book?
Who're you calling jigaboo?
You call people in your family jigaboo?
Look, I am sick of you niggers!
Every day the same shit!
- Damn, Virg.
- Such profanity.
- "Niggers"?
- Calm down, killer.
All right, chump.
What do you gentlemen want to do?
Kill each other?
- No, no. It's not like that at all.
- You gonna kill each other?
- Take the banner. Let it go. Give it to him.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Can we still follow the float?
- You can follow.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, on the side.
- Stay in the back.
- Stay on the side.
- Bye, Virgil.
See you, Monroe.
- You happy now?
- I'm very happy.
Good. Now we'll follow you
whenever you get ready.
- In the back.
- We'd be glad to let you follow us. Let's go.
- Jig.
- Shut up, Chucky Cheese.
- I'll smack you into next week.
- Whenever you're ready.
- Watch your mouth.
- We should kick their ass, man.
Hold it, hold it. Coach has something to say.
Gonna win it, Coach.
Men.
We have gathered here today to do a job.
God told and explained to Jonah...
that the essence of love
is to labour for something.
- That's right.
- To make something grow.
That love and labour are inseparable.
- Yes, sir.
- That's right.
One loves that for which one lives...
- and one labours for that which one loves.
- All right!
When we get out on that gridiron...
it's what we have laboured for all week.
All right!
Now...
I want every man to think...
about his responsibilities, his role.
This is a team made up of 65 players...
and it will take a total effort...
by a committed, dedicated,
never-say-die, never-give-up group...
of 65 individuals
who have come together as one!
Yeah!
Go!
We don't have to be told, sir!
To do this job, to win this battle.
- I don't have to tell you...
- No, you don't.
- The stands are packed with your friends...
- Right.
...classmates, your families.
- That's right.
- Alumni has travelled from near and far.
- Talk to me.
I won't even mention
that your lady friends...
- will be watching you.
- Yeah!
Hear, hear.
- Do you want to let them down?
- Hell, no!
Do you want to make a bad representation...
of Mission College?
Hell, no!
Do you want to lose Homecoming...
for the fourth year in a row?
Hell, no!
Do you want me to lose my job?
Hell, no!
- Do you like the devil?
- Hell, no!
- Well, the devil is in that other locker room!
- Make us feel them.
The devil is wearing black jerseys.
- Can I get a witness?
- Yes!
- I want intensity!
- Oh, yeah!
- I want reckless abandon!
- Oh, yeah!
I want you to remember that...
this is Mission College!
And then, by the name of all that is holy...
go out there and kick some butt!
Yeah!
Let's go!
Come on! That's the way!
It's just the first quarter.
Mission Tigers, take it on out
Take it on out
Mission Tigers, take it on out
Fire it up, Mission, fire it up
Fire it up, Mission, fire it up
All right, defence! All right, steady!
Tigers in the front! Yeah!
Let me hear you grunt!
Tigers in the middle, all right!
Let me hear you sizzle
Hold them!
Tigers in the rear
Let me hear you cheer, all right!
Where's the blocking?
- Tigers!
- Tigers!
Wag your tails!
Go back and get the goal!
Come on, man!
Red, right, red, right!
Oops, upside your head
Say oops, upside your head
Oops, upside your head
Say oops, upside your head
Oops, upside your head
Say oops, upside your head
Oops, upside your head
Say oops, upside your head
- This doesn't look good.
- Mission never says die.
Yo, yo, what the fuck is going on?
I've been here four years.
We've lost every Homecoming.
- You play like a bunch of pussies.
- Man, down in the front!
Take your hat, your coat
And leave, motherfucker
Whoever said that shit
ain't got no mother, man.
Vaughn Dunlap.
Yeah, President McPherson.
How'd you get the name "Dap"?
Just a nickname. That's all.
Anyway, Vaughn, you've been
a good student these past four years...
- and you've grown into a fine young man.
- Thank you, sir.
That's why I'm so surprised
at your recent activities.
Activities?
You've become a disruptive force
on this campus.
You're hindering other folks
from an education.
Let me make it plain.
Hey, man, you don't really have a choice.
If you continue these antics,
you'll be expelled.
Plain and simple, short and sweet.
This is Cedar Cloud,
Chairman of the Board of Trustees.
- What he says is true.
- True?
With all due respect, President McPherson...
I don't believe
this man knows the meaning of the word.
So what?
You marched with King in the '60s. Big deal.
That was over 20 years ago.
Black people still catching hell
all over the world, you know.
- Sit down, son.
- We have made progress.
Says who?
There is no way you can defend
not divesting completely.
- No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
- It's your programme we don't like.
You cannot hinder other students
from getting an education.
I'll do what I have to do.
So will I.
You know... Look at me!
You've got a lot of living to do.
I had classmates here at Mission
just like you.
And now they're old and bitter.
- You still don't understand, do you?
- Make us understand.
- Is there anything else?
- You may go.
Thank you.
- We'll be watching you.
- You do that.
- Sorry about the game, man.
- Hey, that's all right, man.
We gave it
the old Mission College try, right?
- No, we didn't.
- So I lied.
We got stomped, man. What was the score?
What, 52 to 7?
I don't know, man. I was looking
at the honeys in the fourth quarter, man.
- Hey, Rachel call, man?
- Not since I've been here.
- Bet you it's Dap.
- Let him call.
Miss Life, does that sound like the President
of the Dap Dunlap Fan Club to you?
It does not to me, Witherspoon.
Well, the President
handed in her resignation.
I told him about me pledging
and he went off on me.
- Did I hear right, Rachel?
- Yeah.
Did I just hear that you're going to pledge?
Thanks for telling us. It's a big surprise.
It shouldn't be a surprise.
I've always wanted to pledge.
- Since when?
- Since I got here.
Oh, since you got here.
That's great. So now you feel
you have to belong to something.
You have to go up
and join up with some people, huh?
The Gamma Rays
have certainly gotten to you.
Come on, y'all. I have a sense of who I am.
- Then why wait till your senior year?
- Yeah.
- I was afraid of what Dap would think of me.
- What Dap would think of you?
Well, I'm glad you came around.
'Cause these boys will run your life.
Just give them one chance.
Dap, the word is out, brother.
McPherson called you in on the carpet.
Dag, man. Who told you, man?
You can't hide nothing
from your boys, man.
Holding out on us again, huh?
So what's up with that?
McPherson is on me
about the South African thing, man.
- What'd I tell you?
- You see? I knew it. I knew it.
- What else? I know there's more. What else?
- He threatened me with expulsion.
They're talking
about kicking me out of school.
Man, that isn't no threat. That's a promise.
- That ain't no joke.
- I doubt it.
Anyway, look.
Y'all supposed to be my boys, right?
Right.
And we all agree
that Mission has to divest, right?
- Right?
- Yeah.
All right, then, that's it.
We got to do something, something big.
I don't know what it is yet.
But it's got to be something
to let McPherson, the Administration...
and the world know that we won't have
no part to this apartheid thing.
Hey, look, I need y'all, man.
The rest of these okey-doke Negroes
is too worried about graduating...
and getting a Brooks Brothers suit.
But y'all, I need your back.
Hey, look, if you all ain't down,
you all just another bunch...
of foot-shuffling, wannabe
white Uncle Toms, as far as I'm concerned.
Dap, man.
You know I love you like my brother, man...
but I mean, what is wrong
with wanting to have a nice job?
- I don't think anything's wrong.
- Yo, man, my daddy, my mama...
they slaved all their damn life
to send my black ass to school.
- Do you think I got bank?
- Hey, I'm not finished, man.
I'll be the first one in my family
to go to college.
I mean, Dap, man,
do you realise what that means?
I mean, the first one ever.
And all my family has always been
sharecroppers since slavery.
- Man, apartheid is slavery.
- You can do what you want to do, Dap.
I ain't throwing it away for nobody.
Not you, not Bishop Tutu,
not even Jesus Christ Himself.
Come on. Let's go.
Come on, y'all. Don't leave me hanging.
Dap, you need to lighten up, man. Seriously.
Stay out of trouble.
Hey, McPherson is bluffing, y'all.
Dap, in life there are times to be quiet, man,
to shut the fuck up.
This is one of them.
- That's the way it's going to be, huh?
- That's the way it is right now, bro.
Bet. That's a bet.
Later for you cheese-eating niggers.
Fuck you all.
Hey, yo, why we got to be all that, Dap?
You need to max out, man.
What do you two-faced,
backstabbing bastards want?
We want to know, do revolutionaries
eat Kentucky Fried Chicken?
Excuse me, Book. Let me ask you
just one question, my brother.
- Book.
- What?
When you going to get this
goddamn raggedy car fixed, man?
Now, what's wrong with it, man?
I mean, it runs like a stocking, man.
And furthermore, you know,
you wouldn't believe...
how many women I done boned
in that there back seat.
Man, you got to get a new word, man.
You're running boning dead.
- Like what?
- Like "blend."
- Try "blend."
- No more boning. Try "blend."
Bet. Bet. Hey.
You wouldn't believe how many women
I done blended in that back seat right there.
You're right. We wouldn't believe it.
Never let it be... I said, never let it be said...
that Booker T. Washington
did not satisfy a woman.
- Man, I lays much pipe.
- Yeah, you're just like the Roto-Rooter.
Liquid-Plumr.
Check it out. If you have so many women...
how come it is
that we ain't seen you with one, not one?
Not naming names.
I got to graduate.
All you guys think about? Is that it?
- You damn skippy.
- Monroe, my man, my man, talk to me.
- What do you want us to think about?
- World affairs.
- The trickle-down theory.
- Who's gonna win the Super Bowl?
I just get tired of y'all
always talking about women.
- Women.
- Well, you ought to try it sometime.
- Yo, man, it beats singing.
- That's right, God damn it.
- That's another thing.
- What's another thing?
- Shut up, man.
- Why don't you learn how to articulate...
- you juvenile delinquents?
- Shut up, man.
- You turnstile-hopping...
- Shut up!
Welcome to Kentucky Fried Chicken.
May I help you, please?
You know what?
I think we should eat somewhere else.
Yeah, let me have
a two-piece meal with fries.
Yeah, two-piece, all-white with fries.
Right, so make that three two-piece
with fries and a Colonel's Meal.
- White meat or dark?
- You want white meat?
- I want white meat.
- Yeah, he wants white meat.
- We don't have any white meat today.
- Then why did you ask?
So, Monroe, I'll give you that $30 back
next week, man.
Yeah, right.
Book, you got any salt down there?
All right.
Excuse me, brothers.
Think I can borrow the salt from y'all?
We ain't finished. So I said to the bitch:
"Look, you don't come to me
with no shit like that."
So when do you think you'll be finished?
What time it is?
- Later for them, man.
- I ain't thinking about them suckers.
Look, don't start no shit, all right?
- Just let them go.
- Over here.
What? What do you want, man?
- Do you boys go to Mission?
- Yeah.
Is it true what they say about Mission men?
Hey, Grady, man, no. Let's go.
Hey, yo, fuck them.
We've already paid the money for this...
Yeah, yeah. I know it. Let's go. Come on.
No, man. I ain't finished eating
my chicken yet, man.
Hey, yo, why we gotta...
For them suckers, man?
Yo, Dap, hold up! Yo, Dap, man!
- Yo, Dap, chill for a minute.
- Squash it, Edge.
Hey, yo, Dap, come on, man. Don't do that.
- Squash it.
- Yo, Missionaries.
- The jheri curl is popping shit.
- "Missionettes."
Ready-for-the-world is popping shit.
Come on.
Man, what's up with that?
- Yeah, brother. What do you want?
- You ain't no kin to me.
That's right, and we ain't your brothers.
How come you college motherfuckers
think you all run everything?
- Is there a problem here?
- Big problems.
I heard that.
You come to our town year after year
and take over.
We was born here, gonna be here
and gonna die here...
and can't find jobs 'cause of you.
Yeah. Right. Now can we go?
Okay, can we just go?
I mean, we may not have your education...
- but we ain't dirt, neither.
- And ain't nobody said all of that, all right?
You Mission punks
are always talking down to us.
Look, Brother, I'm real sorry that you feel
that way, okay? I'm really sorry about that.
- Are you black?
- Take a look in the mirror, man.
Look, you got a legitimate beef, all right,
but it ain't with us, okay?
Are you black?
Look, man, don't ever question the fact
whether I'm black.
In fact, I was going to ask
your country-bama ass...
why you got them drip-drip chemicals
in your hair.
That's right, God damn it.
And then come out in public
with a shower cap on your head.
- Like a fucking bitch.
- Who you calling a bitch, bitch?
Well, if the shoe fit...
You know, I bet you niggers
do think y'all are white.
College don't mean shit.
Y'all are niggers,
and you going to be niggers forever.
Just like us.
Niggers.
You're not niggers.
- Come on, man.
- Fuck you up.
Get the fuck out of here before I bust a cap
in your young college ass. Go on.
Wait a minute. You know what?
I don't really want to believe that,
I mean, but do we really act like that?
My name's Bennett. I ain't even in it.
No, no, but you know,
what the guys were saying about us.
That my name's Paul,
and that's just between y'all.
- Yo, man, we're not wannabes.
- They were ignorant.
I don't know, guys. I don't think so.
Look, man, motherfuckers got to start
and try and better theirself, man...
- just like we're trying to do.
- Dig it.
Maybe they've tried it,
and they've just given up.
Yeah, that's the deal, man.
You think everything's so damn easy,
don't you, Grady?
Hell, yeah. You work or you starve.
I want to eat sirloin.
- Then the guy was right, man.
- I know the guy was right. I told you.
- What do he know?
- He knows a lot.
So, like, do you think that maybe
you could drive any faster?
I'm going to be late for Glee Club.
"I'm going to be late for Glee Club."
- See, you guys are like picking on me.
- No!
No man, you our boy, man.
- Hey, baby.
- Hey, baby.
- Hey, baby.
- Hey, baby.
She's got a beard, motherfucker.
She looks just like your mama
and shit, man.
At least my mama ain't got no beard
on the back of her neck.
Your mama got two titties
on the back of her neck and shit.
- Yo, Jordan, Jordan.
- What?
I heard your mom held Kareem to 15 points.
The newspaper said your mama playing
fullback for the Hefty Hos and shit.
That's all right, man. At least she's starting,
man. Your mama coming off the bench.
- That's right.
- She's a four-letter man.
- Oh, shut up.
- Your head can be used like a knife.
- Shut up.
- Ginsu II.
Yo, when Booker comes,
he's gotta come twice...
'cause his back of his head is thick enough
for two people.
So, anyway, Booker, look, man...
- Wait a minute. There's Julian.
- That shit wasn't funny, man.
- So what, man?
- I ain't stopping, man.
No. You are stopping,
'cause I gotta talk to him. Pull over, Book.
Let the boy alone, man.
We'll wait, man. We'll wait.
Bye, Monroe.
Hey.
Look, I gotta talk to you
about something and...
Well, Jane, could you excuse us, please?
Jane, just give me a moment, okay?
She your bodyguard now, too?
- So how you doing?
- Just fine, Vaughn.
Look, man, you're the Dean of Pledgees.
You're President of the Chapter, right?
Now, my cousin...
tomorrow, he's gonna be a Gamma man.
You're going to see to this, okay?
Look, I know you know better
than to threaten me. I'm shaking.
Hey, look, Julian, man.
You're a simple, weak motherfucker,
but that's besides the point.
Listen, if you fuck Half-Pint, I fuck you.
Oh, is that right?
Well, let me tell you something.
I am a Greek, and I don't play that.
Now, I'll deal with Half-Pint, after which
you and me are gonna come to blows.
So, what?
You wanna rock and roll right now?
Hey, man, I'm here.
- Julian, forget him. He's not worth it.
- What's with the bodyguard, man?
You talk more shit than a little bit.
"Back to Mother Africa."
That's bullshit!
Without question,
we are all black Americans.
You do not know a goddamn thing
about Africa.
I am from Detroit, Motown.
So, you can Watusi your monkey ass
back to Africa if you want to.
Boy, you need to check that alarm clock
and wake up, my brother.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Introducing the first of all-black Greeks,
the men of distinction...
the brothers of
Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated.
A-Phi-A, too cold, too cold
It's like ice
A-Phi-A, too cold, too cold
It's like ice
A-Phi-A, too cold, too cold
It's like ice
A-Phi-A, too cold, too cold
It's like ice
A-Phi-A, too cold, too cold
So cold. The black and gold
Ice, ice, baby. Too cold, too cold
Nice, nice baby. The black and gold
Ice, ice baby. Too cold, too cold
Nice, nice baby. The black and gold
Ice, ice baby. Too cold, too cold
Nice, nice baby. The black and gold
Ice, ice baby. Too cold, too cold
The brothers of A-Phi-A
The brothers of A-Phi-A
A-Phi
A-Phi-A
A-Phi-A
Yo, your eyes are blue
But you ain't white
Your hair is straight
'Cause you pressed it last night
Your eyes are blue
But you ain't white
Your hair is straight
'Cause you pressed it last night
Move over, jigaboo!
Why don't you check the local zoo?
'Cause we spent the other day
At the local zoo
They had a big, nappy beast
And it looked like you
And when we looked up at the cage
It said "jigaboo"
And when we looked up at the cage
It said "jigaboo"
- Gammites!
- Presenting the great men...
of Gamma Phi Gamma.
Go, team!
Gamma Rays!
G-Phi-G
G-Phi-G, G-Phi-G
G-Phi-G
G-Phi-G
Gamma!
Don't stop! Don't stop!
- G-Phi-G.
- G-Phi!
Gamma!
G-Phi-G! G-Phi-G! G-Phi-G!
We are...
G-Phi-G!
G-Phi!
G-Phi!
G-Phi-G!
Daddy Longstroke!
Daddy Longstroke!
Daddy Longstroke!
We, the brothers of Fellas-Phi-Fellas
who are the baddest
motherfuckers on this campus.
Not the Alphas!
Not the Kappas!
Or the Q's.
And definitely not the Gamma dogs.
You damn skippy.
So this is for you. Hit it!
Yo!
For the punks in the yard
Yes
- For the Gammas
- Good God, yes
When I say "Gamma" you say "punk"
- Gamma
- Punk
When I say "Gamma" you say "punk"
- Gamma
- Punk
- Gamma, Gamma
- Punk, punk
- Gamma, Gamma
- Punk, punk
- Gamma, gamma, gamma, gamma
- Punk, punk, punk, punk
- For the girls in the yard
- Yes
- For the sissies
- Good God, yes
When I say "Gamma," you say "fag"
- Gamma
- Fag
When I say "Gamma," you say "fag"
- Gamma
- Fag
- Gamma, Gamma
- Fag, fag
- Gamma, Gamma
- Fag, fag
- Gamma, Gamma, Gamma, Gamma
- Fag, fag, fag, fag
Get back, or we'll kick your Gamma ass
Just get back, or we'll kick your Gamma ass
Just get back, or we'll kick your Gamma ass
Let's get out of here, Fellas. Here we go.
Daddy Longstroke
- You can't smoke it
- Daddy Longstroke
- You can't toke it
- Daddy Longstroke
- Eight inches, and a long...
- Daddy Longstroke
Get off! Stop it!
Get your hands off me, man! Get off me!
Get off me, man!
Damn! Those funky bastards are gonna pay!
- Payback is a dead Fella.
- Damn right!
- I say we kick their ass tonight.
- No. We kick it now.
Just calm down! Calm down!
Look, everybody just relax.
Tonight is the Death March,
for those of you who have forgotten.
Now, please, let's try to adhere
to the rules and regulations...
as so stated in your Gamma Good Book.
Shit, man. I was just getting accustomed
to whipping some ass.
Julian, till next semester is a long time
to wait for some of the boys.
I understand that you want to strike blows
in the name of Gamma.
But discretion is the key, so use it.
Look, all we need
is to be put on probation again.
Is that understood?
- Patton, do you understand?
- Yes.
Good.
Now, the Gamma Rays will be giving a set
after the Gammites go over.
- That's if they go over.
- Your attendance is mandatory.
Look, we'll be there, okay?
But on a serious tip...
- Julian, it's time for some new Gamma Rays.
- What's wrong with the Gamma Rays?
You ain't complaining,
'cause you got the best one.
- Who, me?
- Yeah, you.
- Jane is good to go.
- The finest, brother.
Look, look, brothers, look.
Jane and I just aren't making it, okay?
I mean, she's just too young, that's all,
and it's just wearing on me.
So...
Well, what I'm trying to say is,
I'm going to cut her loose.
- You're illing, man.
- After tonight...
whoever wants her can have her.
- Patton got dibs.
- Oh, no. Wait a second.
Yo, Rachel.
- That'd be me.
- Yo.
- Hey.
- Rachel.
- Come on, I know you're up there.
- Lizzie, turn that out.
- What for?
- Will you just turn it out?
Rachel. Yo, Rachel.
Rachel, you've lost your mind, you know.
Come on, I know you're up there, Rachel.
Come on down, please.
- Yo, Rachel. Yo.
- Rachel!
- Beg for it! Get on your knees!
- Y'all be quiet!
- Hey, Rachel, I'm sorry, all right?
- Oh, poor baby.
Now you're sorry again.
But it's going to cost you this time.
If you want to pledge, that's okay, all right?
I mean...
Oh, but, no, see?
If I were Rachel,
you would be in a doghouse.
Yes, but you ain't Rachel, Miss Thing.
And speaking of dogs...
with a face like yours,
you should be in a kennel.
Oh, but see,
we're not even talking about faces.
Because yours is cracked
and on the ground.
- There it is. Right there. Pick it up.
- Would you please be quiet?
"Be quiet"? Who's screaming at the top
of their lungs in front of my window?
- And you look too pitiful.
- Hey, yo. Rachel, look.
I wouldn't be standing out here
taking this abuse...
if I didn't care about you, you know.
"If I didn't care."
If I didn't care
Oh, please. Girl, don't believe a word.
Honey, he's just lying through his teeth.
Girlfriend, listen.
He'll say anything to get back in.
- Hey, you. Shut the fuck up.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
- Wait a minute.
- Don't get nasty.
- Honey, look at him. He's no different.
- He just wants one thing.
- They all do, girl.
- The panties.
- I know that's right.
Yo, Rachel, you know, I ain't got to be here
taking all of this stuff all night, you know.
I could be at home. I got better things to do.
- Get out of here, boy.
- Go home.
Come on, Rachel. Will you please
come down here and talk to me, please?
- Good for you!
- That's your bath for tonight.
So it's going to be like that, huh?
Okay. Fine.
I love you, too.
But fuck it. You win. I'm going home.
See you later.
Dap.
Dap.
- You're soaked.
- Yeah, it's funny, huh?
You got a great bunch of friends.
I apologise, Rachel. I'm sorry. I was wrong.
Look, I apologise. You forgive me?
Come on. Please.
Look at me. I'm a mess. Look at this.
- Come on.
- I forgive you.
Thank you.
- But you have to stop being so judgemental.
- What?
You are too hard on folks.
Give us mere mortals a chance sometimes.
Don't be so quick to judge.
I don't judge.
Well, you know, not exactly.
I mean, there is right and wrong, you know.
- Right and wrong?
- Right.
Wrong.
Come on. Let's get you in some dry clothes.
Damn. Hold still.
- Oh, it tickles. Tickles right there.
- Don't get new on me, okay?
Thank you...
very much, Rachel.
Sisters were right, huh?
No, no, no, I'm okay. Really.
- I'll be cool, okay?
- Good.
Just hold me.
Gamma!
I got a feeling
I got a feeling, brothers
I got a feeling
Somebody's trying to sneak in my frat
And there ain't gonna be no shit like that
When the gong calls...
the quest begins
to the land of Gamma Phi Gamma.
Keep your beacons from touching
the ground, or you shall perish.
Watch the eternal lantern.
Never let it out of your sight.
Gamma!
G-Phi-G. G-Phi-G. G-Phi-G. G-Phi-G.
- We are going to make it to Gamma Land!
- G-Phi-G.
Gamma will break you! Gamma!
- Let's go, get fired up!
- I want Gamma! I want Gamma!
Gamma!
Fucking six weeks of pledging shit!
Fucking six weeks!
- Oh, shit.
- G-Phi-G.
- So you want to be a Gamma dog?
- My fresh is doing it right.
- He's doing it right.
- Hang it up!
- Don't give up now. You've come too far.
- No, Half-Pint, no.
Look, I got it. Half-Pint, just rest, okay?
I got it.
Yo, ladies, ladies, ladies.
Let his arm go, okay?
He's got to make it on his own.
Come on, Dr Feelgood,
you know he's too little.
- Get to the back of the line. Now.
- You forget I helped your ass last year.
Sweat. Sweat. Sweat blood
Sweat blood until you sweat
Sweat. Sweat blood
Sweat blood until you sweat
Sweat, sweat blood, sweat blood
until you sweat blood and tears!
Gamma! Sweat
Sweat. Sweat blood, sweat blood
until you sweat
Sweat, sweat blood, sweat blood
until you sweat
Sweat, sweat blood, sweat blood
until you sweat blood and tears
Ain't gonna be no shit like that
- G-Phi-G.
- Hurry up, man.
Come on, General,
get them out of there, man.
- Can't a guy take a dump in peace?
- Get out of here! Move!
- We warned you about that cabbage, boy.
- Yo, leave the magazine, eh?
Put your hands in the bowl.
- Now squish.
- Gamma shit.
- Squeeze it.
- Squish it.
- Squeeze it.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Gamma.
- Squeeze it.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Gamma.
- Squish it.
- Squeeze it.
- Gamma.
- Gamma.
- Squeeze it.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Gamma.
- Squish it.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Gamma.
- Squeeze it.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Gamma.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Squish it.
- Gamma.
- Squeeze it.
- Gamma.
How you doing, there, buddy?
Slim Daddy, old pal, huh?
- Fine.
- How you doing? What?
- What? What? What?
- Fine. Fine. Fine.
Okay. I was just gonna ask you something.
This torch here seems like
it's getting a little heavy for you.
- You trembling and shit, huh?
- No.
- What?
- No.
- What?
- No!
Big Brother Dr Feelgood.
Slim Daddy, wait.
How long you been on line?
- Six weeks.
- How long you been on line?
- Six weeks.
- Wrong. How long you been on line?
Six weeks. Six weeks, two days, 15 hours...
37 minutes,
and if I had a watch, Big Brother...
17, 18, 19 seconds, Big Brother Lance.
- You want to quit, don't you?
- I do not want to quit!
- Half-Pint, I don't like you.
- I like you, General Jig-Boy Patton.
What did you call me? What's my name?
- You've got big Coke bottles on your face.
- Half-Pint, what happened?
What's it say? What's it say? Read it.
Read it and weep.
- Read it.
- G-Phi-G!
- Half-Pint, you a virgin?
- No, I'm not!
- Half-Pint, you a virgin?
- No, I'm not!
- Name me two girls you've had.
- Two. Quick.
- Come on, man. Quick.
- Quick.
- Quick.
- Quick.
That's 'cause you ain't had none.
That's why you can't think of none.
- Come on, man.
- Suzy Mae in high school.
Oh, man. Only thing you had in high school
was acne and sore nuts.
- And that's one.
- You're not going to be a Gamma man.
- I will make it. I will be a Gamma man!
- Leave him alone.
- Look, why don't you put the torch down?
- I will never put it down.
- Put the torch down.
- No!
You know what happened to the last
number one that told Patton "no"?
- You ain't no good.
- Why don't you leave Half-Pint alone?
- Look. Y'all get out of here.
- No!
- Move!
- No!
Don't listen to them. Don't listen.
You're almost home.
Gamma Rays!
Gamma!
Gamma!
Lift your torches to the heavens!
We of the eternal lantern...
guiding us through the misty mist...
and the dusty dust...
on the straight and narrow path.
Righter of the wrong, protector of the weak.
From the nipple to the bottle...
Gamma Phi Gamma!
Kiss my ass! 'Cause I'm a Gamma man!
This is your night, brother.
I'm telling you, this is your night.
We gonna hook you up personally.
Look, do me a favour. Hold this for me.
I'm gonna hook you up, man.
I'm telling you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
I'm telling you. We'll be right back.
- Let the games begin, brother.
- That's right.
All right.
Come on.
Still there?
Stay right there.
Sing
Walked in this place surprised to see
A big girl getting busy
Just rocking to the go-go beat
The way she shook her booty
Sure looked good to me
I said, "Come here, big girl
Won't you rock my world?
"Show that dance to me"
- She was
- Doing the butt
Hey, pretty, pretty
When you get that notion
Put your backfield in motion, hey
Doing the butt
Hey, sexy, sexy
Ain't nothing wrong
If you want to do the butt all night long
What you gonna do about it
Shake it
I took that girl out on the floor
She rocked me from the backside
We did the butt till it made me sore
Now, it's a physical thing
But not hard to do
You just shake, shake, shake, a-shake
Shake, shake, shake-a
Do the butt the whole night through
Come on
Doing the butt
Hey, pretty, pretty
When you get that notion
Put your backfield in motion, hey
Doing the butt
Hey, sexy, sexy
Ain't nothing wrong
If you want to do the butt all night long
That's right
Shake your butt
Come on. Give me that butt
Give me that butt
- Tanya got a big old butt
- Oh, yeah?
- Shirley got a big old butt
- Oh, yeah?
- Irene got a big old butt
- Oh, yeah?
- Theresa got a big old butt
- Big old butt
- I bet Sonya got a big old butt
- Oh, yeah?
- Melissa got a big old butt
- Oh, yeah?
- Old Tammy got a buffalo butt
- Oh, yeah?
- Little Keisha got a big old butt
- Big old butt
Give me the butt
Am I talking too loud?
Do you want me to shut up?
Well, bring me that girl with that big old butt
Sing it!
I want your butt, that butt
That big old, big old butt
Doing the butt
Pretty, pretty
When you get that notion
Put your backfield in motion, hey
Doing the butt
Hey, sexy, sexy
Ain't nothing wrong
If you want to do the butt all night long
- New York
- We got butt
- D.C.
- We got butt
L.A.
What do you got to say?
- Philly
- We got butt
- Atlanta
- We got butt
Baltimore. Won't you come and holler at me
- Sing it
- Doing the butt
Well, you did it. I'm proud of you.
Just remember one thing,
Big Brother Half-Pint.
Now you belong to my family.
Welcome home.
- Gamma.
- G-Phi-G.
Ain't nothing wrong
If you wanna do the butt all night long
Doing the butt
Hey, pretty, pretty
I want your butt, your butt
Just give me
Give me, give me your butt, hey
What a day
What a way
To behave
Will I win, lose, draw
Or be saved?
Oh, my heart says go
But my mind says no
My love
I've had plenty of time
To think over it
Plenty of time
To mull and reflect
There are things
To alert me
So that he
Would not desert me
I couldn't help but notice you
in this bathing suit.
You look... Nice, real nice.
You know what I thought about
when I first saw you?
Collard greens and corn bread,
I ain't gonna lie to you.
And Wilson Pickett.
I mean, you got, like, one of them
In-The-Midnight-Hour bodies, baby.
Hey, do you go swimming often?
I can't swim a lick, and I'm a Pisces.
Ain't that a trip?
What's your sign?
No, don't tell me. Let me guess.
Virgo. No, no, no.
I'm getting Capricorn vibes from you.
Should I go on and try
Or forget it?
Life is short
Will I live to regret it?
By your glance
This romance does say let it
Sweetheart
So be one
Be a fool
Go ahead
And fall in
Love
- Do you love me?
- Yes.
Do you really love Gamma Phi Gamma?
Yes.
Well, you're going to have to prove it.
I love you.
Gamma men!
Chucky.
Brothers, tonight is Half-Pint's night.
Look, I told your cousin
I was going to take care of you.
- So that's what I'm gonna do.
- Dean Big Brother Almighty.
What are you talking about?
Look, tonight, I'm going to give you
a very, very special gift...
from me... to you.
No, no. That's out.
Look, look, I told you
I wasn't pledging no virgins.
You're a Gamma man now.
It's time for you to become a real man.
Go, go, go, go!
I like that. I like to have a little fun.
Go, go, go!
Go, go, go!
Shut up!
Half-Pint, you wear her out...
like a natural Gamma man.
Gamma dog!
First time I've wished I was Half-Pint.
Shut up!
Yo, you gotta have a dick.
- Yes.
- Meow.
- Shit.
- You're a Gamma man now.
Prove that I did the right thing
by letting you go over.
Prove it.
- Work it.
- Want to borrow one of my prophylactics?
Do it, dude.
- Definitely...
- I said shut up, damn it!
- Jane, we don't got to do this.
- Shut up and get undressed.
Come here.
Grady, I'm hungry.
Can we go get some food?
I've got food in my room. What you want?
I got some Vienna sausage.
I got me some Underwood Deviled Ham,
some sardines...
some Premium Saltine Crackers.
I got all that.
No. You're so country.
I want some real food.
Oh, Lord.
My knee done went out on me again.
- What happened? You all right?
- I banged it up. I banged it up today.
I'll tell you what.
You take me to get some food, and I'll rub it.
Yeah.
- Is your roommate in?
- No. I got the room to myself.
Okay, because I need my privacy.
Yo, did you hear that?
I ain't heard nothing.
There it is again.
- Homeboy's doing okay.
- Yeah.
- He's doing the Gamma-slammer.
- There it is.
Work it, love-ski.
- One of y'all. Could you take Doris?
- Ain't nothing wrong with Doris, man.
She's the only woman on campus
that could look up to you.
- That's right.
- What you talking about?
Don't you feel good?
Damn, you ain't needing a girl anyway, man.
Stop crying.
Excuse me.
Move, man. Move out of the way.
Don't you see a lady present?
What's up, dude?
How are you gentlemen this fine night?
Y'all have a restful sleep.
I knew you was a Taurus.
You look so good, you ought to be on
Soul Train, you know that?
I'm going to put you on Dance Fever, baby.
Looky here, looky here, looky here.
Come on over here, girl.
Grady, we're not alone.
That ain't nothing
but a lumpy mattress, baby.
- That's your roommate in here.
- Lf you be quiet, they'll never even know.
I'm a silent lover, baby,
and if you don't scream, I sure won't holler.
- Will you let go?
- Baby. Come on.
- Get off me. Are you crazy?
- No. You crazy.
You call me when you get it together.
Babe, you almost stepped on my sneakers!
I'll call you in the morning.
Thanks for walking me back to my room.
I appreciate it.
- That was quick.
- She sure left in a huff, homeboy.
- I heard of premature, man, but shit...
- That's right, God damn it.
- You made it kind of quick.
- Fuck all of y'all!
Bye, Quick Draw McGraw.
Monroe would've been in there
longer than that.
Yeah, I would've been in there
longer than that.
Shut up.
Damn. How long
that motherfucker been in there?
I'm going in there.
- She might've killed the boy.
- No.
Half-Pint! Half-Pint! Half-Pint!
- How was it?
- Was it like you had imagined it?
Or dreamed about?
From now on,
we're going to call you Full-Pint.
Speech! Speech!
- Lots of pressure, Pint.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Just let me walk Jane to her car, okay?
That's all I want to do.
Then I'll come back and tell you everything.
You the man, dude. You the man.
Don't flatter yourself.
Half-Pint, it wasn't for you.
Gamma men, it's been a good night.
- I'll see you all in the morning.
- Dog, good time.
- Good night.
- Good for Half-Pint.
- We're out of here.
- Big dog.
I did what you said.
Oh, yes? And what was that?
I did it.
You what?
- You told me.
- Wait, wait, wait a minute.
- You gave it up to Half-Pint?
- Yeah.
You gave it up?
How could you do this, Jane?
You told me.
How could you do this?
You boning my own frat brother?
No, I didn't tell you that.
The hell I told you that!
- What?
- Jane, I thought you loved me.
- I do love you.
- No. You don't love me.
No. No, you love what I stand for.
You love Gamma Phi Gamma.
- Julian.
- No.
You're in love
with Dean Big Brother Almighty.
- No, that's not true!
- You don't even see Julian anymore, Jane.
- How could you do this? How could you?
- Why are you doing this to me?
- Why am I...
- Why are you doing this to me?
You are blinded by the black and silver.
No, Jane.
- Jane, I'm sorry.
- I only wanted to love you.
Jane, you're wrong. You're wrong, Jane.
I've been trying to tell you this for so long.
- No!
- No. No. I am...
Jane, I am not here for you, anymore.
I want to tell you something.
This was your final test.
Your final test. And you failed, Jane.
Jane, you blew it.
You blew it. I'm sorry.
- What can I do?
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, Jane.
- Please.
Julian.
Dap!
Dap! Open the door!
Dap!
- Are you out of your fucking mind?
- I got to see Dap. I got to see my cousin.
It's a-motherfucking 5:00
in the motherfucking morning.
- He's sleeping. I'm sleeping.
- Get him up, then.
- Fuck y'all, man!
- Yeah. Okay.
- Get him up.
- Right.
Dap!
Dap, open up. I know you're in there.
Come on. Open up.
- Dap, come on.
- What's the matter, man? You okay?
- I'm okay. Let me in.
- No. Rachel's sleeping.
- She's always sleeping over here, man.
- Yeah.
- What do you want, Darrell?
- Let me in.
Rachel's sleeping.
What do you want, Darrell?
- Check this out. I'm over. A Gamma man.
- Oh, shit.
- A Gamma man.
- All right. Congratulations.
- You didn't think I was gonna make it.
- No, I thought you was gonna make it.
No, okay. You're right. I didn't think
you was gonna make it. Congratulations.
I'm sorry.
It takes a real man to be a Gamma man...
- 'cause only a Gamma man...
- Yo, calm down. Calm down.
- G-Phi-G! Guess what.
- Yo, be quiet.
- What, what, what, what?
- Ain't no virgin no more.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Hold up. Hold up.
When did this minor miracle occur?
- Tonight. Tonight's my night.
- No shit?
- Guess who.
- Who?
Jane.
Yeah, right. Jane Toussaint, right?
- Fine-ass Jane.
- Yeah. Yeah, sure. You fucked Julian's girl?
Big Brother Almighty hooked the shit up.
It was good.
Julian's girl, huh?
Yo, cuz, I fucked the girl
like a Gamma man should.
- Yeah, I bet you did.
- Come on, Dap!
- What's wrong with you?
- Get off me, Dap!
- What the fuck is wrong with you, Darrell?
- I just got this sweater tonight, man!
You lucky you got your life now, man.
- Get off me!
- Why did you do that?
- You're just like the rest of them!
- Dap, get off of me.
- Get the fuck out of my face, man.
- You're not my cousin no more.
No, I'm not your cousin no more.
That bunch of pussy-school privates
is your family now.
- That's right, I'm a Gamma man.
- And I'm calling your mother...
- and I'm telling her what you did.
- It takes a real man to be a Gamma man...
It takes a real fucking asshole
to do what you did.
- Gamma!
- Get the fuck out of here.
Where you going?
- Out.
- Wait for me.
- Grady. Grady, wake up.
- What?
What the fuck is going on tonight?
Damn.
Wake up!
Hey, Jordan, wake up!
Wake up! Wake up!
Wake up, come on.
Come on, wake up. Wake up.
Wake up!
Wake up!
Wake up!
- Wake up!
- Dap!
Wake up!
Wake up!
Please...
wake up.