In 1862, the first
trans-continental railroad
triggered a rush of
white settlers heading West.
They all rushed into the land
that once belonged to the indians.
It was at this time that Ranger,
a white Southerner,
rescued Abahachi,
chief of the Apache,
at an unguarded rail road crossing.
Apache customs demanded
they become blood brothers.
They had no choice.
Abahachi and Ranger did
what tradition called for.
Ouch! You crazy?
Slow down, turn ahead!
Shut up! I drive this route every day!
Dull arrow.
Pointy arrow!
Strangers!
Abahachi's face shows
pain and grief.
Dark clouds gather over the land
where the Shoshone live.
Abahachi and his white brother
Ranger bid their "Hugh"
to Merry Mole, chief of the Shoshone.
Mighty.
What?
His name is Mighty Mole.
Abahachi brings the chief's dead son.
Abahachi is a murderer!
Just a sec, big misundertanding!
Yes, very big indeed!
Aweng konakate!
Hey, what's that on your arm?
Is that a dog?
What?
Ugh...
Well...
Where is my gold?
Just let him finish, asshole!
Hush, are you're crazy?
Should he let you finish or not?
Ok. The story was like this:
We had an appointment
Ok. The story was like this:
We had an appointment
with a realtor from Wyoming.
I had seen his ad in the paper,
and I quote:
"Quiet saloon in mint condition,
and I quote:
"Quiet saloon in mint condition,
no transfer fee, available immediately".
The new pub for my tribe!
His employees looked
respectable to us!
I didn't want to miss such a bargain
and borrowed your gold.
Indians!
Hiya!
Right on time, as the Shoshone always are,
your son Rabid Rabbit
brought the Shoshone credit.
Everybody liked each other.
Whazup, wimp?
May I introduce:
Rabid rabbit, Santa Maria; Santa Maria,
Ranger, Ranger, Santa Maria, Rabit,
son of the chief of the Shoshone.
See, see, Shoshone!
The deal was closed!
I was the proudest Indian in the whole world!
Term: 15 years, interest rate 33%.
Yes, exactly!
What did he just say?
Not sure, he has a strong dialect.
Abahachi?
Yes! Oh!
One bottle of firewater for free!
Congratulations to your new saloon.
This is on the house!
I baptize you to be called...
Uh...
Apache pub.
- Apache pub.
Well, I'd complain about that.
Feels comfortable in the hand!
Congrats! Great door!
You're never happy!
Always complaining!
BBQ nights, hanging out together,
indian classes in your own saloon!
I never mentioned classes!
End. Done!
Hand me the white flag!
How am I supposed to get
a white flag here?
Every indian always carries one,
just you don't!
Then it became quiet, too quiet.
The realtor from Wyoming
and his employees had left.
Just your son lay in the grass.
I was wondering how he could
sleep with all that noise.
They are gone!
I don't think he cares.
Why?
He is...
We paid last honors
to Rabid Rabbit.
Is there anything
you can actually pull off?
Truth is: the man who cheated my
tribe out of its new saloon
is also the murderer of your son.
And on top of that,
is also the murderer of your son.
And on top of that,
he also stole your gold!
What is the name of that man?
Santa Maria!
You stole the gold from the Shoshone!
You killed my son!
You stole the gold from the Shoshone!
You killed my son!
And now you bad mouth
the firends of my tribe!
How right you are, Mighty Mole!
Unbelievable!
These are the murderers
of your son!
No! Don't believe him!
Santa Maria speaks with
a twisted tongue!
When the sun has been
victorious over the moon
the Shoshone will send
Abahachi and his white brother
to the happy hunting grounds.
Mighty Mole has spoken!
Mighty mighty!
An Apache in a pickle.
Abahachi? Ranger?
Hombre? I'll clock off.
Do me a favor and keep an eye
on these two tonight.
We want to see them die tomorrow!
Allright, boss!
Err...
What is it?
I'm sorry.
Why? Everything is just fine!
We both have our own poles.
And tomorrow we won't
be having any more trouble.
Don't be such a sourpuss.
I'm fed up to the back teeth!
Always the same crap
for the last 16 years!
Tied to some pole
every other day!
Keep it down, it's not their business!
What's wrong with you lately?
I am just not happy with the
overall situation!
Why not?
What do we do all day long?
Sneaking up with no purpose,
reading tracks for hours,
and riding side by side
with no point.
You call that riding?
What's wrong with my way of riding?
It's not riding,
it's animal cruelty!
Bite me!
How?!
Sht.
Sst!
Abahachi!
Quiet outside!
Or I'll call the cops!
I got a bunch of appointments
and you idiots won't let me sleep!
Turn the lighd off!
You spell light with a "T"!
Did you hear that? A man got
a rock in his private parts.
A new family jewel.
Look, the guard's asleep.
What did you say?
The guard's asleep.
No, about the jewel.
Just a bad pun.
That's no pun, that's the solution!
I got one! I had totally forgotten about it.
My jewel! A really big treasure!
Now you come up with a treasure!
That doesn't help us anymore.
It does. We can use it to pay
our debt with the Shoshone.
We're still charged with murder.
We need to prove that Santa Maria is the
real murderer of Rabid Rabbit.
Right. Also, on top of that
I only have a part of the treasure map.
Well, sometimes I think you do
this on purpose!
When I was a little indian,
my grandpa Gray Star
took me hunting. He always stressed
how important it is to divide up the loot.
I divided everything!
18 by 9! 13 by 7! 16 by 5! 17 by 8!
Grandpa sometimes called me the
Smallest Common Divisor.
Many summers passed.
On his deathbed
he gave me a treasure map.
And you divided it.
Yes, by four!
Who has the other three parts?
I don't know, I was drunk.
Well, that is...
I do remember one.
Well, thanks heavens...
Hey, who was that?
Who cares, let's go!
Well done, Hombre!
I am almost proud of you!
Follow them without attracting attention.
I'll stay here with Jim and John.
Chief Molehill must
not get suspicious.
We'll meet tomorrow in camp.
Ok, boss.
Hombre?
We're a top team!
By god, that's terrible!
That doesn't look good, boss!
What a cowardish assassination!
Now they will also have to
answer for Hillarious Hare.
This means war!
Ooops, we have to leave! Jim, John!
Let's bow out on a high note!
Take care!
Unbury the hatchet!
We don't have one.
We don't?
We had one from the dollar store.
But it broke.
Well, what could we unbury?
We have a folding chair.
Unbury the folding chair!
What?
I smell something.
It wasn't me!
Look! The Shoshone are signalling!
And? What do they write?
They are after us.
And they unburied the folding chair!
Now they've totally gone bonkers, right?
The chief of the Apache
must die!
To the horses!
We don't have horses.
Didn't I have one?
Well, yes, you did...
...but it shrunk in the laundry.
What area is this?
Down there we'll find the
second part of the map!
And? What are we waiting for?
There is something
you should know.
My white brother needs to be very strong now!
Abahachi! My brother!
Quick, hugs! My, what a surprise!
I didn't expect you!
I totally didn't pick up.
And who is that handsome
young man you brought?
Want to introduce us?
Welcome to Powder Rosa Ranch!
Twin brother Winnetouch, blood bruder
Ranger, blood brother, twin brother!
Antother brother!
Dangit!
I am out of splenda. Anyway.
One "Peach Fizz", no firewater...
For our patient a "pina colada".
Or would you rather like Prosecco?
To us! We won't meet again
that young! Cheers!
I am sooo curious.
Do tell me,
how did the two of you meet?
Well, Ranger was a greenhorn.
Wow! A greenhorn?
Then he saved my life.
And we said,
let's do blood brothers.
Really, with scoring?
Yes.
You guys are fierce! But you've
always been a crazy chick!
That's why Abahachi became chief,
eben though I had the privilege,
cause I was born 2 minutes earlier.
But all that silly shouting and bang-bang
and arrows and shooting and the noise...
I wanted to be pearl diver,
but I cannot hold my breath long enough.
Now I am the owner of this beauty ranch,
the "Powder Rosa Ranch". Do you like it?
What? Yes! Very lovely!
Winnetouch! We need your help!
Guys, we'll ride on. Get on!
We don't want to ride on!
We are tired!
Who said that?
John did! John did!
Yes! We saw him!
So, you're tired, John.
Ok, go to bed. Everybody else: get on!
Oh dang! Assshole! Stupid pig!
What do you say?
Good night, John!
Mesdames et Messieurs.
My part of the map.
I knew I could rely on you!
Yeah, I am a pack rat.
I even keep your old toys.
Your Apache puppet tent.
You played with puppets as a kid?
What? No puppets!
And? Can you already see something?
Yes, but not enough.
Too bad! Now what do we do?
Let's have a drink after that shock.
Another lychee limes?
Hm? No, thanks, Willi... Winnetouch!
Do you recall by chance to whom
I gave the other two pieces?
Well, to the Greek and to Ushi!
Ah! Yes...
Of course! The Greek! Uschi!
We'll have to find them, with the
Shoshones breathing down our necks.
We're interested in your rad horse!
We shouldn't have traded
the pony and the folding chair.
Stop whining.
That squeaking is annoying.
Let the men sing a song.
No! I am not wearing that!
It's itching!
With that I'll look like a maggot!
Ok, I'll explain it again.
Ranger will ride to Uschi
in Rosewell City.
I'll try to find the Greek.
You'll pretend you're me
to throw the Shoshones off our trail.
Well, I smell totally different than you!
Right!
If everything works out,
we'll meet in the Thunder valley
at the dandelion at the old basswood,
where the sun kisses the squirrel.
I'll never find that.
Just a sec!
What if one of us suddenly gets sick?
Ok. If anything goes wrong
we'll meet back here
at Powder Rosa Ranch.
Go there, come back, kiss basswood,
ride back and forth...
Why not just stay here
and I cook a nice dinner?
I can't shoot and fight anyway!
I'm afraid your, err our brother
needs a crash course.
Lesson 1: Stalking.
Suitable branches are very important.
Tree, bush, or twig.
Stalking is most fun on even ground.
Smooth, rhythmical movements make
for quick and unnoticed progress.
Indians have stalking in their genes,
however, everybody develops
their own style eventually.
Lesson 2: Close combat.
Rule of thumb:
Lefties use their left fist,
righties use the other one.
Precise targeting increases
the chances for a hit.
Lesson 3: War paint.
War paint has a long tradition
and is used to scare the enemy.
Abstract war paint is frequently met
with lack of understanding and intoleration.
Lesson 4: Riding.
Anticipatory riding is mandatory
for the athletic rider!
The horse is both a status symbol
and provides mobility in the Wild West.
Opinions diverge regarding women at the wheel.
Lesson 5: Pipe of peace.
This symbolic act of reconcilation
is also called "chill out after battle".
Precise measurements are crucial.
Too much or the wrong stuff can
have undesired side effects.
Last but not least: Shooting.
The showcase of all skill!
High tech! Man and machine
must form one entity.
Choice of weapon and caliber
must form one entity.
Choice of weapon and caliber
is crucial for the shooter.
We'll leave at sunrise!
They are down there, boss!
Good. Don't lose sight of them.
Post guards.
Yes, post guards.
Post guards!
Post guards!
Hombre.
Yes?
Go ahead and brew coffee.
What is that?
A hot, caffeinated beverage.
My father!
He was still young back than.
Always in a good mood. A crazy dog.
He was still young back than.
Always in a good mood. A crazy dog.
He was fluent in French.
How come?
We don't know. I also got
the long hair from him.
Who is that?
That's Winnetouch.
With Leatherstocking.
And this is Uschi.
What a woman!
Back in the day she left the tribe
to become a singer in Rosewell City.
What is that?
Someone is brewing coffee.
The shoshone make coffee?
Winnetouch go hide!
They must not see us together!
We are trapped!
Surprise!
What is that?
My little secret tunnel!
Takes you straight to a bush.
Are you guys Shoshones?
Indians!
Indians!
Quick, follow him!
We'll get him!
Yes, I'll cut him off!
Don't let the redskin get away.
Don't shoot, we need him alive!
My brother.
My brother.
What do you think why I pulled you over?
Are you a photographer?
Careful, young man!
I don't have to do this friendly!
Did you soup up that horse?
It's my brother in law's horse.
And what's the reason for the hurry?
The Shoshones, you know...
They unburied the folding chair.
The folding chair.
Well, Mr... Ranger.
Please blow here.
0,0 blood alcohol! Golly!
Nobody managed to pull that off yet!
Have a good ride!
Hiya!
I think I see a mirage!
Dimitri!
Abahachi!
Bless you!
It really is you!
Look, friends, this is Abahachi,
the famous chief Apache,
warrior and brother of Ranger.
You'll be the hero in my new book.
Who's he?
Karl May. Only silly things in his head.
Say, how did you find me?
You're mentioned in the travel guide.
Let's have a drink to that!
No. I need to talk to you!
It's about our little secret.
Hellas!
Are you talking about
our map treasure?
A book about an Indian treasure!
Good one!
Where is the treasure map?
The map?
Ranger has it.
Oh god. I am tattling too much.
And where is that Ranger?
Shopping!
Listen up, Abahachi, chief of the...
Apache!
Thanks, Hombre.
No problem, boss.
Even my patience has its limits.
My men are mean, brutal, and very lonely.
They could hurt you really bad.
An indian doesn't know pain.
We lack those enzymes!
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow! Ow!
Ok, that's enough!
Well, Abahachi? Will you now tell
where Ranger went?
Yeah, great, now you got me.
He went to meet Uschi!
That Uschi?
Yes. Now untie me.
I am not playing anymore.
No can do, Abahachi.
We need you as a hostage!
You're soo mean!
Hombre, you stay here
and guard our chief.
If we don't return within 2 days,
finish him off.
Allright, boss!
I'm warning you! When you go to the
restroom, you'll better sit down!
One Four Harlots!
How do the eyes get in the cheese?
Hiya.
You must be Ranger!
The man with the southern dialect.
Friend of the Indians. Founder of
"mothers against fire arrows".
What brings you to this godforsaken lands?
Does someone named Uschi work here?
Oh yeah!
Hi!
Hello, you!
I ask you
and all the the other men, too.
Is it true that I'm driving you crazy?
Come on, tell me, sugar boys.
And what you get is what you see,
you can't help, you must fall for me.
What's in your hardest dreams,
I go for...
It's the clue that me
as a good girl
wanna whip my hip like that.
You got... beautiful bells.
These are my grandma's bells.
Great!
Do you have a needle and
some thread by chance?
Oh! Yes. Of course.
Here you go!
Well, now you're here.
Yes!
Yes! Well, then I can leave again.
No, don't go.
I am... actually here
for the treasure map.
Oh god!
You do have a part
of the map, right?
Could you undo my choker?
Yes, sure!
Don't talk about the map!
Come again?
Do not talk about the map here!
Ok, I'll stand over there.
Abahachi already got two pieces
of the treasure map.
Dimitri, that Greek guy, has another part.
Hush!
And you have the last part.
The map is complete
and everybody will be happy.
Yes. Now I am happy, too.
Hey, you guys didn't
eavesdrop on us, did you?
Ranger, I have to make a confession.
We hold Abahachi hostage.
Wonderful, it had to come like that!
And you, my little gold fish,
will tell me your sweet secret, quick!
Where is your part of the map?
Or do you want me to
let my men loose?
Eeek!
Hands off!
She has nothing to do with all this!
Take me instead!
Ugh, ok, take her instead!
A beautiful rear can also endear.
Especially when it's about gold.
Oh, well.
So!
If you want, go get an ice cream,
and then let's get back to camp!
Then we moved cause they chased us
away from our territories.
We became backpack indians.
Originally I wanted to
go to San Francisco and be a pearl diver.
But that's teeming with earthquakes.
Do you even know what an earthquake is?
No worries, you didn't miss out.
Done, ready for the spa!
Uh-oh.
What's it?
Apollo 13 is afraid of the
road rail crossing.
How come?
His 12 brothers were all hit
by a big locomotive steam!
Only one thing can help: Ouzo!
My, Dimitri! We have to keep moving!
There is no train to be seen!
See, Apollo 13 is an intelligent mule!
Apollo 13. Have you bonkers gone?
Oh!
Come, I beg you!
Apollo 13, don't make us unhappy!
This is a really fast train.
Apollo 13! Don't always be
such a head bull! Hellas!
That might get a bit close.
Great, now we can move on!
Dismount! We'll stay here for the night.
At sunrise we move on to
Powder Rosa Ranch.
Why the heck is the light on in my hut?
But boss, that's John.
Remember, you sent him to bed.
Ah, right!
Isn't it great to come home and know:
There is someone waiting for you.
Smell of fresh coffee in the air,
crispy fried bacon, and in the distance
a wolf songs a lonely song.
Strangers in the night...
What an asshole!
John drank from my cup!
John slept in my bed!
John put my pen in his ass!
Yes, that's John.
Did you know the Shoshones
had a folding chair?
No.
Yes!
Oh, look, the full moon!
Yes.
Back in the day at a full moon,
Abahachi and me often went for a swim.
We hid each others clothes
and laid little tracks.
He was always so emphatic.
He consoled me
when the Little Beaver was hurting me.
And what happend to your Little Beaver?
Well, Big Beaver.
Chief of the Kiowa.
Ah, I see.
Uschi?
Yes?
Can you reach my left back pocket?
Do you have a...
Yes!
Do you hear that?
Yes.
They play our song.
Yes.
Where the heck is that Ranger!
He's usually on time!
Hope he didn't get sick.
Look. There!
Yet another star shooting.
Ah, now you can make a wish.
I'd like to be an Indian.
A real skin red.
Hm.
Why? I mean, being Greek isn't bad either!
Not bad, but do you remember,
even when I was Dimitri little,
that was my big dream.
Ever since your grandpa Gray Star
picked me out of the Mississippi.
I was in that little basket.
just about to go over that big fall water!
It was close!
I was a very happy child foster.
You were not a foster child,
you were age 16 and
in the middle of puberty!
I strongly believe in it.
One day I'll be an indian.
Not riding a mule anymore
but a real horse.
Do you need a nutcracker? No?
Get up, guys! Get up!
Up, up, up!
Get up!
Jeffrey farted!
Really!
Jeffrey farted again!
Morning, guys! Everybody go pee,
and then we ride on!
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Hey!
And on we go!
Jim, John! Come with me!
Damnit! Abahachi escaped!
Respect!
No outside shoes in here!
Yes! Got another one!
Hombre is really great at diving for pearls!
Get out!
Turn around!
Oops!
Jeffrey farted!
The damn lock is jammed.
Hands up!
Yes! Drop your weapon!
Feather!
This... is... the... shoe...
of... Ma-ni-tou.
The shoe of Manitou?
Oh, no.
That was easy. Hombre, you coming?
We need to get going!
Ranger!
If you think it's over,
there's a light in the darkness.
i before e except after c!
Hombre!
Do you have a last wish?
Yes, the song from the
super-perforator ad!
Yeehaw!
Come on, guys! Let's move!
There is your light!
They torch my house without asking first!
Abahachi, please pass me the knife.
Shoot. I must have forgotten it
after whittling in the Thunder valley.
Why do indians always have to whittle!
Got a problem with my hobby?
Nothing against your hobby, it's just about
the knife! These do cost money, you know!
Learn to watch for your stuff!
Your sloppiness is driving me nuts!
You are driving me nuts, too!
Come on, spit it out!
Always affairs: "Would you like
to see my bear killer, mylady?"
Says the guy who used to play with
puppets and can't even grow a beard!
Forget the beard! You need character!
Great character, hiding women's
clothes at night!
So? I'll even admit it! At least
women do go for a swim with me!
Uschi would go for a swim
with me any time!
Ridiculous!
Would you stop it?
Till someone's crying!
Oh, you shut up!
Hellas!
Dimitri! There you are!
Hey! Wanna ride with me?
I got plenty of room!
No! I cannot ride in that!
Walk, Jacqueline.
Slow, slow! Careful!
Don't go so fast or you'll throw up again.
The shoe of Manitou!
Shortly I'll be the richest man in the West.
I could make you my woman!
But I am already a woman...?
Nice and slow, Jacqueline,
or you'll throw up again!
At this speed snail
we'll never get there!
Walk! Walk, Jacqueline!
Yes, yes, good, Jacqueline.
I've told them a thousand times
you have a sensitive stomach.
Let it all out, Jaqueline!
Not through the nose.
Honey, I'll be back in a sec.
That's what you get for
your reckless speeding!
Hombre!
Oh, you should have emptied
the ashtray in time!
Well, you'll stay here and think
about what you've done.
Jim, John! You guys come with me.
Everybody else stays here.
And pay good attention
to my future bride!
And don't give her
more cherries!
Hey, Santa!
Will you bring us a gift?
Something exciting!
Something to play with! Yes!
And chocolate! Yes!
Better have an apple instead.
No old indian
guarding the treasure?
That's unusual.
Hello?
Hello? Hello?
Cuckoo.
Cuckoo.
Cuckoo.
Ok, now get out.
Ok, now get out.
Can I have a bite from yours?
Mine is mealy.
Hellas, they are down there!
Do you guys see Uschi?
No. I think we'll need a plan.
Want me to distract them again?
Uh... pff... mh-mh!
Ok, I'll change clothes again!
Alarm!
Hellas y'all!
Who the heck is he?
No idea.
What's your business here?
I am Dimitri Stoubakis.
Bandit exchange from Greece;
supposed to check in with Maria Santa?
This is a dead end, boss!
They tricked us.
John? When do we
usually do lunch?
Around 12.
Jeffrey farted again!
Hush!
Ranger!
Uschi!
How did you find me?
For first time...
awesome!
Now would you stop it!
Winnetouch! I thought you were...
Hombre! Bad weeds grow tall!
Are you on our side now?
Ok, kids. You take a lunch break.
Clear!
So clear!
The coast is so clear! Yes, yes.
I'd suggest we introduce ourselves.
Dimitri Stoubakis. 30 years old.
My zodiac is virgo and
in my time free I tinker
house birds with my saw hand.
What are your hobbies?
And why can't we come?
Exactly! Who says...
you're not gonna take off
with the treasure?
What was that?
That was the sound
of Santa Maria's colt.
That's it. Cover me.
I'm going in.
My brother!
Yes?
Take care!
Ok.
Take cover.
Winnetouch!
What's it?
Cover!
Come again?
Go hide!
Ok, I'll try.
Ah!
Hello? Dang it,
is this a darkroom?
Get lost, stupid bat!
My, what it looks like here!
Like the place has
been hit by a bomb.
Thanks god the light
is off again!
Stop that!
Are you crazy?
Don't scare me like that!
Say, what do you have there?
Nothing! What are you guys doing here?
I told you to keep cover!
If it always takes you so long...
What?
Yes! Everything takes you ages!
You dwaddle! You're a slowpoke!
I am a slowpoke!
Ranger!
He has a point, others say that, too.
Hear that? He's provoking me!
For years now! I don't have to listen
to this any longer from a...
second class mouth organ player!
Why don't you just get
a hair cut before we talk?
Unbound cheek!
Why don't y'all write down what
you down like about the other?
He can't even write!
Nobody in our gang can!
I don't need to write.
I can read tracks!
Great! That's a start!
This is his only point!
"I can read tracks!"
You are such a great tracker!
I am not taking this any longer!
And you call yourself blood brother!
I've always said,
I need more time.
He wanted to be blood brothers
after only two weeks!
He probably felt like it back then.
When you're a kid you do stupid things.
Stupid things?
Did I hear "stupid things", Uschi?
I didn't pay attention...
Yes, I think he said "stupid things".
Being blood brothers is stupid? Ok!
Then we'll stop it. I quit!
Me too, let's quit!
See if I care! I don't need you!
Ok, in that case,
I'd like my toothbrush back!
Here you go! As far as I remember,
you still have my peace pipe!
Take it!
Come on, we don't need no Ranger!
Abahachi, I...
Yes, what is it?
I cannot go with you.
What, why?
Ranger and I, we...
That's exactly why we never
allowed girls in our gang!
I am so sorry!
Yes, but...
Full moon...
Swimming, hiding clothes...
And you always told me:
Abahachi, when we grow up...
And you always told me:
Abahachi, when we grow up...
But 5 feet is not grown up!
I see.
So it's the two of you now.
Well, then I don't want to...
Well...
I wish you...
I guess I'll go in alone.
I actually prefer it that way anyway.
So, where is the entrance?
Time to read some tracks!
There we go!
I got one left.
Abahachi!
It was self-defense!
You little slicky sausage.
You thought you could get away
with everything!
Hombre! Not in that tone!
I've been watching this for long enough now.
The wind has changed, buddy!
Ok, I'll bring it back.
My brother!
My brother!
You're alive?
His candy heart saved his life!
Yes, I'm alive!
He's alive?
Yes!
Hombre! Don't make yourself unhappy!
We're all a little stressed.
You've always been so good to me!
You often saved my life,
helped me with my divorces!
You allowed me to lead a comfortable
life free of worries.
Do you want to risk all that?
Give me that necklace!
Oh, that's what it's all about.
Why don't you say so. If that's all.
Woah! Crazy, isn't it?
There you are! My, I had an experience!
Sshh!
Look at that!
That's not how it's supposed to be!
Sorry!
That doesn't look too bad!
That's the end to your evil deeds!
I will never get that out!
Oh, what a dream!
This is our treasure!
My, may I wear it?
Mesdames et Messieurs... voila!
Mesdames et Messieurs... voila!
Hey, where are you going?
Faster! Faster! Come on!
Have you used such a thing before?
Yes, but a different model!
Noo!
Heads down!
How much more to go?
I can't hold it any longer! Wow!
Winnetouch!
Faster!
What is that?
I've never heard anything like that!
So beautiful.
Hellas! You came to
safe me, right?
Indians!
A classic down show,
if I am not taken mis!
Come on, let's scram!
Abahachi!
Hiya!
This time Abahachi won't escape!
No need for that!
Winnetouch, would you come please?
By Manitou! Two times Abahachi?
Hello!
Winnetouch? Give him the treasure!
My god!
What?
Gone!
You don't say!
That was so obvious!
What do you mean, "gone"?
Gone!
Abahachi lies! Kill him!
Hey, where did you get that?
Mighty Mole? Here is your gold!
Santa Maria stole it from you!
He is also the murderer of your son.
I saw it with my own eyes.
But where is Santa Maria?
Oh well, Abahachi did not murder
my son Rabid Rabbit!
But what about Hillarious Hare?
Oh, difficult.
I think I got something for you!
You look absolutely lovely, darling!
Thank you!
Yes, so do you. But you may
want to try horizontal stripes.
Really accents your figure.
I'll go get some drinks at the Prosecco store.
I'll be back in a bit.
Ok, kids, now off with...
Uschi.
Yes?
I think I know now where I belong.
Oh, Ranger!
You know, I thought...
Yes, I know! You and
Abahachi must move on!
What?
The country needs you!
No, just a sec. I meant to
say that you and me...
Both of us now and the child...
We're a family now...
Family is all well and good
But you must not shy away
from your responsibilities!
There is a blood brother
out there waiting for you!
Together you'll fight for peace,
freedom, and justice!
Found national parks!
Free the afro-american inhabitants,
out there from the shackles of slavery!
So that one day it will say
on page 1 of some history book:
This book belongs to Peter Miller,
class of Miss Sanz.
I'll do all of that, but can you
help me out of this?
Well, Ranger, would you please come...
Abahachi, could you give me a hand here?
No! That'll be the day!
You saved my life and
gave a saloon to my tribe.
Dimitri, my brother!
Abahachi, my brother!
I am an indian!
Good evening.
Good evening. Good evening.
What's the toy of the weasel?
Easel, easel.
In 1879, Karl May published
his first Wild West novel.
It becomes a bestseller!
Later that year he returned
to Germany and married the daughter
of a theater director in Bad Segeberg.
Bless you!
A year later,
Frederico Enrico Nico Gonzalez
Desperado del Torro-Hombre
files a patent for the BBQ ashtray.
Dec 24, 1879: Santa Maria's brother
Santa Claus brings gifts for children
to compensate for the
deeds of his brother.
1882: Winnetouch founds the
designer label "Think Pink".
Ok, done!
Mighty Mole is now Mighty Hare!
Oh my, he can wear that...
with his figure!
On July 4, 1884, an indian chief
is arrested in New York
wearing a rabbit costume.
He's deported to a reservation.
Only four months later,
Stan Laurel is born.
All of that, Abahachi and
Ranger never knew.
What do you say?
Swing by the Grand Canyon?
While we're there we can found a
national park for afro-american immigrants.
What? Who?
Tell me, whom do you know?
Well, Old Shatterhand, for example.
Well, everybody knows him.
Then go ride somewhere else.
You go ride somewhere else!
Come on, we don't need no Ranger!
Abahachi...
Yes?
I cannot go with you.
Why?
You must be Ranger!
The man with the squint!
Shit!
I need to show you something.
Later!
Abahachi is a murderer!
Hold on a sec! Big misunderstanding!
Yes, very big! Chief, no, white palefaces... shit.
We got lucky with
the weather, right?
What are you doing?
What should I be doing?
Here's where your plan is wrong!
Well and you can kiss my butt!
I quote: saloon in mint condition,
quiet fee... quiet location...
Once again: we had an appointment
with a realtor from Wyoming.
Shortly before I read his ad in the paper.
I quote: saloon in mint condition,
No fees... available immediately...
Can't be! Cut!
Did you hear that? A man
got hit with a stone...
But boss! It's John.
Remember, you sent him to bed?
Ah, right!
l am a clucking hen...
I used to own a beauty farm.
Really quite cozy.
Wouldn't have hurt you either.
And this is Uschi.
What a woman!
Ow! You crazy?
Final cut!
Oh my, oh my, oh my...
See, Jacqueline, that's
what you get from that.
So much effort and then
they all just go home.
We're probably stuck with
the cake again.
Too bad about the prosecco.
They are such ignorants.
They don't even know how hard
it is to get a Prosecco around here.
Don't even mention the ice!
And if you don't have firewater,
all hell is let lose.
Just like with the floaties I got
for Abahachi back in the day.
First he had to have them.
Two weeks later he didn't care anymore.
Say, have we taken the wrong path?
I think we need to go left.
Jacqueline, not so fast!
Or you'll barf again!