Don't mourn for Joe Strombel.
Joe Strombel led a full life.
A newspaperman
in the best tradition.
A great credit
to the fourth estate.
It didn't matter if the bombs
in the war zone were falling.
It didn't matter how high up
the political scandal went,
or how many big corporations
or small-time racketeers
leaned on him.
Whatever the risk,
if there was a story there,
Joe went after it.
And he usually got it.
Well, I was with him when the
story broke about Prince Charles,
and that made him persona non
grata with the Royal Family.
Except with Diana.
They always remained good friends.
He did love a woman.
Hey, did you know he started
as a police reporter?
- Did he?
- Yeah, he was a bloody good one.
One of the best.
Maybe the best.
I got trapped with Joe once
in Afghanistan.
Yeah?
And we were going to be shot any
moment by the Taliban, until,
typically, Joe found
someone to bribe
So we could escape.
- Not with his own money, though.
- No, no, he got it on expenses.
- Plus 10%.
- Ten percent.
But it did involve us
getting out wearing burkas.
And, well, we lived
to write another day.
- Everyone loved him.
- Yeah.
Not always at
British intelligence.
No, but he got the information
before anyone else.
- Yeah, he did.
- That's right.
Not Richard Nixon, though.
Well, wherever you are now, Joe,
it won't be the same without you, mate.
- To Joe.
- Joe Strombel.
Where are we headed?
Does this
mean anything to you?
He doesn't give answers.
Tried it.
Joe Strombel.
Coronary thrombosis.
Jane Cook.
- So, what do you do?
- Reporter.
You?
I'm... Well, I was
personal secretary to Peter Lyman.
- Lord Lyman's son.
- Yes, impressive young man.
- You knew him?
- No, only by reputation.
But I like what I know.
I think he's got
a real future in politics.
How did you die?
I think I was poisoned.
You think?
Why?
I believe I was poisoned
because I was on the verge of
confirming a terrible suspicion.
Yes?
What suspicion is that?
That Peter Lyman
is the serial killer
known to the police
as the Tarot Card Killer.
What?
I assume
you're aware of that case?
Yeah, I wrote an article two years ago,
when the Tarot killings first started.
But, Peter Lyman? My God.
What on earth made you suspect
this rich, young handsome,
above-reproach citizen?
You remember the last murder?
The police found a clue.
Yes, a cufflink.
I read about it in the paper.
Unusual antique, wasn't it?
Yep. Very rare Art Deco.
Peter had the exact pair.
So could have the Tarot Killer.
The world is full of coincidences.
Yeah, except I noticed
that Peter only had one left.
He'd lost the other.
Still,
although it's a tantalizing thought.
Did you inform the police,
or was that too sticky?
I didn't know what to do,
so I phoned my lawyer
and I asked his advice on
whether to report it or not.
And I thought I heard
this click on the phone,
you know, like someone
had been listening.
Later that day, after tea,
I died suddenly.
That is suspicious.
My God, Peter Lyman.
Hard to believe, but if he did
turn out to be the Tarot Killer,
what a story.
I knew you'd appreciate it when
you said you were a reporter.
This would be a dynamite scoop.
And I got it first.
Yeah. Unfortunately,
where you're headed there is no first.
There's only last.
Mr. Tinsley!
Loved your last picture.
You really have a way
with actors.
Think you could maybe...
Please wait!
- Mr. Tinsley?
- Yeah.
- Sondra Pransky.
- Who?
Sondra Pransky. I'm the
journalism student from Adair.
I wrote to you about getting an
interview for the school newspaper.
And you, well, your secretary,
actually, because... Not you.
I mean, I know how busy
film directors get and all.
But you said if I was in London visiting,
then you would, you know,
and here I am,
which is fantastic.
I think I have
your letter, actually.
- See, right now I'm a bit tied up.
- Here it is!
Here it is.
This is so great for me.
I mean, you've got
a huge following in Rochester.
It gets very cold there.
With your new movie coming out
in the fall, and... Well...
Actually,
I was wondering if we could just
ask you a couple of questions.
Do you mind? Okay, okay, but
we got to be real quick.
I write for the cultural
part of the paper.
I'm looking to move into
more serious pieces.
And when you say something
more serious, that's...
You really want to know?
Well, originally, I wasn't
going to go to college.
I was going to become a dental
hygienist like my sister, Beverly.
And, don't get me wrong,
it's a great profession.
I have very high respect for teeth
and gums, particularly gums.
My whole family's
in orthodontics. But...
- And what? You're vacationing here?
- Oh, yes.
Oh, I'm just very friendly with a
very upper class British family.
Our families vacationed
in Palm Beach together.
My mother
won a visit to Palm Beach
and I became friends with
their granddaughter, Vivian.
She's so lovely.
She'll stay with us...
- Another?
- Oh, thanks.
So I slept with him and I
didn't even get the interview.
I mean,
what kind of a reporter am I?
How was the sex?
Give me all the details.
Who knows? I was so drunk,
I don't even remember.
All I know is that
the second it was over,
he got a phone call and had to
leave suddenly for Thailand.
Thailand?
Yeah, Justin Richards got fired from
some project and he had to take over.
What difference does it make?
The point is,
I told the whole school
I'd get an exclusive
with Michael Tinsley!
You were nervous.
You're inexperienced.
You drank.
He's a charming genius.
But you know, you're a
very attractive, sexy girl.
If you're going to interview movers
and shakers in their hotel rooms,
you better watch out.
Not that I'd mind a roll in
the hay with Michael Tinsley.
I've put some fresh towels
in your bedroom, Sondra.
Thank you, Mrs. Thompson.
Come on, sweetheart. Chop, chop.
You're gonna be late.
Oh, Mom.
The point is I didn't get the story!
I mean, if I'd used
my feminine wiles
like Katharine Hepburn
or Rosalind Russell.
Oh, come on.
We'll go have lunch at The Ivy,
and then we'll take
my little brother
to see that show
he's so excited about,
and then we'll go
to that party tonight.
There'll be
loads of gorgeous guys there.
And you're always saying all the
men you meet are complete losers.
So you blew the story.
It's not life or death.
Ladies and gentlemen,
prepare yourselves
for the astonishing magic
of Splendini!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen,
you're an incredible audience
and I mean that sincerely. I say
that from the bottom of my heart.
You know, every time I come
to London, this great city,
I always get
a sincere sensation,
because you're marvelous
people, beautiful humans.
And for my next experiment...
And I call it an experiment,
you see, not a trick.
I'm gonna need a volunteer.
So if you'll step out
and find someone for me.
This is kind of dangerous
stuff so no children here.
I need a grown-up volunteer.
Someone who's willing
to put her life on the line.
Is this your first time on stage?
Yes.
Yes, you've never done...
Well, you got nothing to be afraid of.
You nervous?
Don't be nervous.
What's your name?
Tell them your name.
Sondra Pransky.
A landsman!
United States! Fantastic!
And where are you from, Sondra?
No, don't tell me,
'cause I got a great ear
for that kind of thing.
Alabama!
Am I right? Am I right?
- Close.
- Yeah?
- I'm from Brooklyn.
- Incredible!
God bless you, sweetheart.
I'm from Brooklyn, too.
That is fantastic. I feel such
love coming from this woman.
I can't tell you.
It's really...
I say this with all sincerity
from the bottom of my heart.
You're an incredible human being
and a credit to your race.
Sondra, let me ask you a question.
What do you do? Tell them what you do.
I'm a student.
Yeah? A student?
And what are you studying?
No. No, wait! I got an instinct
for what a person is studying.
For exactly
what you'd be right for.
Dental hygienist!
Was I close?
No, I'm a journalism student.
You study journalism.
Well, if you...
Have you ever been
dematerialized before?
No.
No?
Well, there's nothing to be afraid of.
I'm just going to agitate some of
your molecules and split them apart.
It's not gonna hurt.
I just ate.
Is this gonna make me...
- You just ate.
- She said she...
I'll do the jokes, Sondra.
Now, Sondra, I'm going to
ask you to step into that box
and I'm gonna have your molecules split up.
I'm gonna split 'em up.
It's gonna be very painless.
And I'm gonna put you
back together again.
Don't tickle me.
Tell them what you just said to me.
You got to hear this.
Tell them what you said to me.
- No, tell them, tell them.
- No.
She said, "Don't tickle me."
God bless you, sweetheart.
You got a fantastic sense of humor.
You know if more people in the
world had a sense of humor,
we would not be
in the state we are in today.
I kid you not.
Get in the box. Get in the box, Sondra.
Go ahead.
In the box. Go ahead. Get in the box.
Get in the box. Hurry up.
I'm going to agitate the molecules now.
Miss Sondra Mandelbaum.
Pransky.
Pransky, Mandelbaum.
What's the...
We take off the same holidays.
Doesn't matter.
Get in the box, sweetheart,
and don't be scared.
You in there?
You're a journalist, right?
Oh, my God.
What are you doing in here?
Aren't you a journalist? Yeah?
I mean, those are the vibrations
I've been concentrating on.
Are you ready, Sondra?
I'm Joe Strombel, reporter,
and I have the scoop of the decade
about the Tarot Card murder case.
I mean if it pans out,
it'll be fantastic.
It's got everything.
Big names, murder, prostitution.
I'm going to start agitating
your molecules.
You're a journalist.
I've got some information for you.
Big story.
Big, big, big scoop.
Peter Lyman...
Come on out, Sondra. Come on out, sweetheart.
Come on out, sweetheart.
The trick's over.
It's over. It's over.
She's a little stunned.
She's never been on stage before.
So, you know...
She's a little stunned.
Are your molecules okay?
Is everything feeling good?
You all in shape?
You got all your parts?
That's fantastic.
Okay, Sondra, take your seat.
Go back to your seat.
Go back to your seat.
Go ahead. She's great.
Let's hear it for her.
She's great.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go back to your seat.
Will you take out
the blue light, please?
'Cause I'm getting a completely
negative vibration from the blue.
It's not right.
There's a lady to see you, sir.
Hey, Mandelbaum!
From the school newspaper,
am I right?
No, Pransky.
Listen, I have to talk to you
about something very serious.
When you put me
inside that box...
I smell a frivolous lawsuit here.
You going to tell me you're getting
headaches now or something?
Dizzy spells?
No. No. When you put me inside
that Chinese box...
Yeah, the dematerializer.
...a spirit materialized.
No, Mr. Splendini,
I'm very serious about this.
You can drop the Splendini.
My name is Sidney Waterman.
You know what I mean?
I just go exotic
to give the square haircuts a
little charisma now and then.
Look, the spirit appeared
right next to me!
At first I thought
he was one of your stooges.
I don't work with stooges, you know,
because you gotta pay them health benefits.
But then he told me
his name was Joe Strombel,
a journalist
from the land of the departed.
I couldn't believe it.
I'm a journalist,
he's a journalist.
I mean, our vibes must have
kind of meshed together and...
You know, he didn't say that,
in so many words,
but I'm putting
two and two together here.
Do me a favor, put two and
two together someplace else,
because I'm very, very busy.
So, do you mind?
Listen, I Googled him, okay?
There is a Joe Strombel
and he died three days ago.
Just put me back in the box.
Now, I'm going
to agitate the molecules,
so let me know
if anything happens,
you know, just keep me posted.
I'll be right here.
The molecules are whirling.
Mr. Strombel? Joe?
It's Sondra Pransky here.
I'm a journalist at Adair.
I know you may have been
aiming a little bit higher,
but I assure you,
whatever I lack in experience,
I make up for in dedication.
I'm beginning
to lose patience, Sondra.
So, let's go. Is there
anybody in there at all?
Nothing. Nothing yet.
Okay, that's it.
Finito. I've had it.
Come on, sweetheart.
And if I were you,
I would not tell this episode
to anyone else,
because they'll take away
your driver's license.
- I don't understand.
- What? What's to understand?
- I thought that...
- It's plywood. I built it.
What're you thinking,
there are spirits?
And there's a world of departed people?
I don't know what you've been smoking,
but don't try
and bring it through customs.
Darling, I'm a little late.
Sweetheart, I love you.
You know that.
I say this with all due
respect, but... I...
Sondra? Sondra?
- Mr. Strombel!
- Listen to me, Sondra.
Carefully. Listen to me? Write this down.
This is a big story.
You got a pen?
I only have a minute.
Would you hurry?
Fine.
There's every reason to believe
that Peter Lyman... You got that name?
Yes. Peter Lyman.
Son of Lord Lyman,
a respected businessman.
Rich, good-looking,
very successful.
That Peter Lyman is
the Tarot Card Serial Killer.
Now, just write this down.
If so, that he's murdered a dozen women.
Short-haired, brunette prostitutes.
And if it turns out to be Lyman,
this will be the biggest story
to hit London since Jack the Ripper.
"Jack the Ripper."
Is that capitalized?
There's no knowing
where he'll strike next,
but more women will be
murdered until he is stopped.
That's horrible!
We have to notify the police.
No, no.
What kind of reporter are you?
That would be a disaster!
God, no!
He's a respected millionaire.
You can't accuse anyone,
let alone someone like that
without substantial proof.
And once you've alerted him to the
suspicion... That he is under suspicion,
then he'll be impossible to trap.
Not to mention doubly dangerous.
There's also a possibility
that he poisoned his secretary
because he suspected that
she was learning the truth.
No, you have to
get the story first,
but first you have to
get the story right!
There's no certainty in this, or...
I got a feeling
in my gut about this.
The kind that journalists dream about.
And so far, no one else
has the information.
Oh, if I was around today,
I'd find a way to get the facts
and break this case wide open!
Now, believe me, Sondra.
You can wait your whole life
for a story like this.
Don't blow it.
And be careful.
Lives are in the balance.
Possibly, maybe yours.
Got to go. Got to go.
- That's it for me.
- You got to help me with this.
Not me, honey.
I'm a prestidigitator.
I do coin tricks and card tricks.
And I'm a journalist
sitting on top of
one of the biggest
stories of all time!
Yeah. For a college paper!
Kid, you're in over your head.
You know what you should do?
You should share this story.
Share it? No!
I gotta dig up the facts
and then I gotta shop it
around to every paper in town.
Look at her.
Soon you'll be drinking
the black coffee
and smoking cigarettes with the hat back.
Now, what kind of...
We don't have much time here.
I mean, we got to strike!
You know this guy's a serial killer.
He could just kill at any moment!
I heard that part.
That's when I knew I was
gonna make other plans.
You should go call the police.
That's what I'd do.
Yeah, and what
am I gonna tell them?
Tell them that...
Exactly what he told you.
That Lord Lyman's son, Peter, is...
He suspects he's a serial killer.
Uh-huh, and when they ask me where
I got this information from?
Well, tell them!
You know, just say,
you know tell them...
Just explain to them that...
You know, say that...
Tell them...
Where did you get
the information?
Was that the question
that you just asked?
I would not say
anything if I were you
'cause they'll put you away.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
I'm gonna say,
"I got this information from a dead guy"?
Listen, this is not for me,
Sondra. I don't do this.
I do occasional bar mitzvahs
and kids' parties.
You know, you're
barking up the wrong tree.
Peter Lyman.
Who is Peter Lyman, you know?
How can we meet him?
How can we see
what we're dealing with here?
What the hell are
we doing here?
You don't even know
what the guy looks like.
That's why we're here.
I just couldn't get a clear picture
of him on the Internet, so...
Jesus. And what are we
going to do if we see him?
I mean, what are you gonna
learn by looking at him?
Unless he strangles a passerby.
I don't know, Sidney.
I'm improvising.
I should be home,
working on my magic.
Hey, why don't you
think about this
as adding
some excitement to your life?
Hey, sweetheart,
excitement in my life
is dinner
without heartburn after it.
Do you have a family?
I had a wife, but...
she dumped me,
if you can believe that.
Somehow...
She thought I was immature
and that I never grew up.
Now, I had a great rebuttal for her.
I could have nailed her, you know, but I
raised my hand and she would not call on me.
- Sidney...
- What?
That's him.
Let's follow him.
Follow? What do you
want to follow him for?
I'm telling you.
We need clues,
we need a lead.
We gotta start someplace.
No, darling, I do not think
this is a good idea.
It's a very good idea.
Come on!
Be careful.
Hey, don't touch anything.
You know,
if you break something here,
you're gonna be washing dishes
the rest of your life.
Okay,
now you've seen him. Let's go.
Jerry! It's Jerry Burke,
Louis' chiropractor.
Hi.
Nice to see you.
That's how you follow a guy?
It's not even Peter Lyman!
I told you
the photos weren't clear.
Sweetheart, you should
live and be well, prosper.
I hope... I say this
with all due respect.
But without me.
I'm tired, I'm bored,
I'm hungry, I'm going home.
God love you.
- I'll look for your byline.
- Sidney!
I'm about to become your
favorite person. Why?
I ran into someone today
who said that Peter Lyman
swims at the Governor's Club
every day.
Really?
What's the Governor's Club?
It's this posh, private club,
but Daddy's partner's a member and
members are allowed to bring guests.
Wow, do you think
I could bring someone?
I'm sure Daddy can arrange it.
When do you want to go?
How can I help you?
Hi.
We're guests of the Fultons.
We're here to take a dip.
Oh, yes, yes.
The lockers are on the first floor.
- The pool's downstairs.
- Great.
By the way, is Peter Lyman here,
by any chance?
Mr. Lyman.
Yes, came in a few minutes ago.
What color bathing suit
does he have on?
Hey.
I... Do you want me
to clash with him?
So silly.
So do you swim?
Of course I don't swim.
You have to ask?
What? They say it's
the best form of exercise.
Yes, but when I go into the water,
my glasses, you know,
float off my head into the pool.
Hey, Sidney,
that's got to be him.
Yeah, well, make sure this time.
'Cause I don't want to swim around
after another chiropractor.
He's very handsome.
This guy is a serial killer like
I play for the New York Jets.
How can we meet him?
I don't know.
They have a class system.
He's an aristocrat, and,
you know, we're commoners.
In fact,
according to his system,
I think we're probably
classified as scum.
This is our only chance.
He's all alone.
Well, you're a pretty girl.
You know, I think you could probably
get this guy to get interested in you.
Don't be silly.
Particularly if he's
got a twisted mind.
Look, I can't just go up to him
and say, "Hi, how are you?"
I mean,
what if he gets suspicious,
or, you know,
if he gets put off, or...
Drown.
- What?
- Drown! Drown!
I'll go get... I'll go get...
Listen to me!
I'll go get coffee.
Get a cramp, go in the water,
flounder around,
you know. Yes!
Go ahead, sweetheart.
That's a great idea.
He'll be obliged
to save you that way.
And if he doesn't... if, you know...
Then I'll notify your parents.
Help!
Help!
It's all right.
It's okay.
There you go.
Are you all right? Okay.
I'm sorry.
All right, here.
Here we are.
- Here we are. You all right?
- Thank you.
- You okay?
- Yes, thank you very much.
- It's my pleasure.
- Sorry.
Here, let me help you out.
I'm not a very good swimmer.
It's all right.
My leg cramped.
Your leg?
Here, stretch it out.
That's it.
- Thank you.
- No problem.
Listen, you should always do a
little stretching before you go in.
- You know, that way you won't cramp.
- Oh, thank you very much.
I haven't been swimming
in so long.
You're a new face.
Have you just become a member?
Oh, no,
I'm a guest of the Fultons.
Oh, right, Jack Fulton.
Yes, lovely chap.
- I'm Peter Lyman, by the way.
- Hi, Son...
Sond...
Jade.
Jade Spence.
Jade Julliard Spence.
- That's a very pretty name.
- Thank you.
Yes, we're the Spences of...
of Palm Beach.
Oh, not the same Spences
who own the shipping line?
No, no, no.
My father's into silver and gold
and drilling.
For wells.
What are you doing in London?
I'm here visiting friends
in Holland Park.
Oh, good.
What do you do, Jade?
Well, I am an actress.
Oh, really?
Yes, actually
I'm up for the part of Desiree
in the new Mike Tinsley film.
Oh, well, you're certainly
beautiful enough.
Thank you.
Look, Jade,
if you're not busy,
my father's giving a garden party
at the estate on Sunday
and I'd love you to come.
I'd be very happy to be your
date and show you around.
The English countryside is very
lovely this time of the year.
- Sounds fantastic.
- Good.
Do you mind if I bring my father?
Your father?
Oh, look!
There he is right now.
I was in the lounge.
I heard you drowning.
I finished my tea and scones
and came immediately.
Dad, this is Peter Lyman,
who was nice enough to rescue me.
Dad?
Yes, of course, child!
She cannot swim.
The girl cannot swim.
Like a lead weight, she sinks
to the bottom all the time.
It's a family trait. Lack of buoyancy, or...
Her siblings have it as well.
Yes, well, listen
pleasure to meet you, Mr. Spence, right?
Yes.
Yes, and I'll see you
on Sunday at the estate.
Oh, great. Sunday? What's Sunday?
Not a fox hunt?
No. No, Dad.
I'll explain it to you later.
Listen, I'll leave all the
information at the desk, all right?
Hey, come, child.
What kind of idiot are you?
Not a fox hunt?
I'd like to talk to these
people in their own terms.
And, oh, thanks for
telling him I'm your father.
Oh, incidentally, he thinks
my name is Jade Spence,
so that makes you Mr. Spence.
Wait a minute, I...
This is too tricky.
I don't want to
go ahead with this.
Why? What's wrong with you?
Your whole life is deception.
- You're a magician.
- Yes, I'm a magician
- and I want to stay a magician.
- Can I have a Coke please?
I don't want to get sued
or deported
or arrested
for stalking somebody.
This is a big guy
you're dealing with.
This is a big story, no kidding.
That's what Joe Strombel said.
That's why he's returned, you know.
This is his last big scoop.
Hey. What do I care
about Joe Strombel?
Suddenly I'm taking direction
from a hunk of ectoplasm?
This could be
very big for my career.
Your career's fine.
You're on the college Bugle,
or whatever it is.
You got years for scoops.
You know what?
Forget you, all right.
I'll do this on my own.
I don't need you.
Go back to your card tricks.
I didn't say I wouldn't help you.
You know, I just...
It has to be done properly.
You know, we gotta
put our heads together.
If we put our heads together,
you'll hear a hollow noise.
Look at this place.
All it's missing is a moat.
Hey,
I could get used to this.
Look at this.
Oh, there he is.
Remember, Jade Spence.
Jade...
Jade, who?
There you are.
Hello. How are you?
Welcome, Mr. Spence and Jade.
Mr. Spence.
You look stunning.
- Oh, thank you. It's beautiful here.
- Stunning.
Thank you. Thank you.
Yes. It's been in the family
for years. About 400 years.
It's a little stuffy
for my taste, but...
She said,
"All that's missing is a moat."
Right.
I love that. I love
the moat line.
"All that's missing is a moat."
Beautiful.
Ah, this is my father.
Father, Stephen Lyman, this is...
These are my friends from America
- I was telling you about.
- Oh, Lord Lyman.
Jade Spence, Mr. Spence.
- How are you?
- Hello.
Curtsey, curtsey, curtsey, curtsey, curtsey,
curtsey, I've never met a Lord before.
How exciting!
No, but there was that Earl that we...
There was that Earl.
I do hope
you're enjoying yourself.
Peter, why don't you
show them around?
Absolutely.
Would you like that?
Oh, it...
Charmed, I'm sure.
Should we hit
the buffet table first though?
No, Dad. Because the
stuff looks great.
Remember,
we wanted to look around.
Yes, of course, of course,
blessed offspring.
Why don't we get a drink
and then we'll start inside?
- Oh, okay.
- Come.
Yes, I love this room here.
We often spend evenings in here.
The English countryside!
It's elegant, yet understated.
I like that.
You've done wonders
with the place.
It brings to mind Trollope.
Oh, do you enjoy
reading Trollope, too?
No, no, not the author.
This was a girl I knew.
Well, come. Let's go upstairs
and have a look at the view.
Would you quit fooling around!
What's wrong with you?
- Try to pick up clues, try to remember things.
- I'm charming him.
I remember.
I got a mnemonic
system that I use.
- I use images, it's a trick.
- Uh-huh, yeah.
Say I want to remember
this ashtray.
I think of, like, 50 ashtrays dancing on a
desert island in hula skirts or something
and then I remember.
I can call it to mind whenever I...
Where are you going?
This is one of the drawing rooms.
Wow, this is
really beautiful, isn't it?
Oh, here we have...
This is my great-grandfather.
There's grandfather
and his wife, Lady Hayden.
Reminds me of the portrait of
Aunt Hillary in the library, no?
Game woman, Hillary. Suffragette, I believe.
Yeah. Diphtheria took her.
Or perhaps it was elm blight.
Come on, Dad.
Oh, this is just beautiful. Wow.
Yes. I love the lake.
Do either of you fish?
No, no, never have.
Oh, I'll have to teach you.
I've taken some salmon,
you know. Organic.
Yes, me, too.
I fly fish a little. But...
So, Jade, do you enjoy concerts?
I'm very big on the Philharmonic.
We sponsor, in fact.
I used to play the violin,
very, very badly.
But I have a number of... Well, actually
quite a large musical collection.
Do you play an instrument,
either of you?
Because we have
these lovely music gatherings.
I do. Yes, I play the...
Various classics, you know, Noel
Coward and Shakespeare and...
Right. We gave her piano lessons
when she was a little girl,
but her fingers
were just too stubby. So...
Yes, what about you,
Mr. Spence?
Well, I play the blues harp.
It's a little metal thing
you put in your mouth
and makes a twanging sound.
Very musical. Yes, yes.
Used to be called the Jew's harp,
but you know how those people are.
The slightest hint of anti-Semitism
and they write letters.
I would love it if you could teach me
how to fly fish. That would be great.
Oh, it would be my pleasure.
Okay, I want you to watch me very closely.
Pay very strict attention here.
Now I want you
to take a card.
Take any card you like.
You got it?
Go ahead, sweetheart. Take it.
You got it?-
Now put it in your pocketbook.
Put the card...
She's gonna put the card
in her pocketbook.
You got it? All right, now tell
everybody what the card was.
- It was the six of hearts.
- Six of hearts.
Can I ask you a question?
Was it this six of hearts?
But I just put that
in my bag.
Well, check your card.
Check your card.
It's amazing!
You're a wonderful sport, Claire.
I mean that sincerely.
God bless you.
You're a very sweet woman,
and this has been a great group.
From the bottom of my heart,
I say this with all due respect.
You're a wonderful... A credit to your
race and a magnificent group of people.
You know, I must find out
who does the hedges here.
Back home, my topiary moose
is starting to look a little
shabby around the antlers.
What do you do, Mr. Spence?
Me? I'm in real estate.
I'm sorry, I'm in oil!
I'm in oil.
I was in real estate,
but, you know, land is so difficult
to come by now, especially outdoors.
It's become a problem.
Incidentally,
I accept your invitation.
I will play poker this weekend.
Now that I've seen how good you
are at cards, can we trust you?
Tell me about yourself, Peter.
This is all so new to me.
Well, what would you
like to know?
Well, I don't know.
Anything you'd care to reveal.
You know, your hopes,
your dreams.
Well, I come from a privileged
family, as I'm sure you can tell.
It was always decided one
day I would enter politics.
My hobbies are polo and...
Oh, I own some racehorses.
So, how's that for a start?
And what are
your hopes and dreams?
I like to dance
and visit museums
and, oh, I can cook Chinese food.
If you know any good
Chinese restaurants...
Oh, I've gotten very interested
in New Age phenomena recently.
Like what?
You know, mystical things like
astrology and crystals
and Tarot.
Do you know anything
about Tarot cards?
Not really.
I'm more scientific-minded.
I find that if...
What are you staring at?
You have wonderful enamel.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You know, I'd love to take you dancing
one night. I'm a good dancer.
Oh, I would love that.
That would be great.
Can I confess something?
Sure.
I just love an American accent,
and I find much of what
you say very amusing.
I'll take that
as a compliment.
And since you like Chinese food,
I'm gonna have my new secretary
send you a list
of the great ones in town.
- Oh, you have a new secretary?
- Oh, yes.
Yes, I'm breaking in
someone new.
My previous secretary died, a young woman,
just very suddenly of a blood clot.
It was awful.
Did they do an autopsy?
How did we get
on to this morbid subject?
So, you've never seen
a real English garden before?
Come.
I have a couple of treasures.
Would I offend you if
I told you something?
Probably not.
You're very... Very different
from the women I usually meet.
That's a good thing.
Well, I just can't seem to get the vision
of you in your swimsuit out of my mind.
Oh, I'm glad you liked it.
It was marked down.
See, that... Now that's
exactly what I mean.
You just have this very direct
and informal way about you.
- It's... You take after your father.
- Great.
And you have
a very sensual quality.
It's... But I'm sure
you've been told that.
Wow. You work really fast.
Oh, God. Am I overbearingly aggressive?
I'll stop.
Oh, no, don't!
You just...
were getting warmed up.
Are you romantic by nature?
I mean, I won't say,
"Do you believe in love at first sight?"
Because that's
a cliche but...
Have you ever had
an experience
where a bell goes off
just right away?
Sorry.
I need those.
You see,
I can't wear contacts.
I don't like to put my
finger on my eyeball.
Well, goodbye. We must meet
for tea and crumpets again.
We really must.
I could have strangled you
if you didn't shut up!
And stop telling people
I sprang from your loins.
I'm trying to cement the fact
that I'm your father!
That guy was so fantastic.
I can't imagine he'd do anything bad.
This guy is not a serial killer,
believe me.
I'd be very surprised
if he even killed one person.
He asked me to go dancing
next week.
That's a perfect strategy!
You worm your way in
like a rodent or a roach
and as the crumbs
fall off the table,
you collect them and we analyze them.
Aha! Voila! Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Look at this. Look at this.
Look what I got. "Betty G."
- Yeah.
- What is this?
It's a doodle.
He doodled it!
How do you know he doodled it?
How do you know this is his?
What do you mean,
how do I know it's his?
I stole it out of
his overnight bag.
What the hell
is wrong with you, Sidney?
- It's a clue!
- It's not a clue.
- We're hard up for clues.
- It's not a clue.
What does it mean?
It could be his aunt,
it could be his travel agent.
I'm late for dinner. You want to
come in and eat something?
No. No, thank you.
Take a seat right over there.
Okay.
Peter called.
He's going to be late.
He said to start without him.
Oh, well, come on then, let's play.
That's what we're here for.
Okay.
Come on, short, little guy.
- You're out?
- This is it?
Anybody else?
You're still in?
So sorry, old chaps. I was completely
bogged down at the office.
Okay.
All right, who's winning?
Mr. Spence is a good poker player, Peter.
Yes, I might have known.
Actually, I bought my first
Reuben's with poker winnings.
You bought a Rubens painting?
Not a painting.
A sandwich.
I could use a drink.
He asked me if I believed
in love at first sight.
How sweet is that?
So naive.
Well, I hope
you told him yes.
I told him
we had nothing in common.
We come from completely
different backgrounds.
I think
he likes that or something.
But what about the story
you're writing on him?
What is that all about?
Sondra?
"Mary Thompson,
a short-haired brunette,
"was strangled at Falconberg
Place last night at 9:30."
"Next to the body of the
short-haired brunette prostitute,
"was the hangman card
from the Tarot deck."
Hey, what time did you say Peter
arrived at the poker game last night?
If you're asking me, did he
have time to strangle somebody
and make the card game,
yes, he had plenty of time.
I got to let
my feelings subside
and probe deeper
into this case.
What does that mean?
Well, it means that we know where his
family lives, we know his social circle,
but we don't know
what his house looks like.
I want to get a look at that.
Here we are.
- Wow. This is really nice.
- Thank you. Yes.
Do you do
a lot of entertaining?
I'm embarrassed
to say that I do.
You must think I'm an empty socialite.
Much of it's political.
Oh, no.
I think you're swell.
That's a lovely painting.
Oh, I recognize that
from my art history books.
- Oh, really?
- Yes. Henry Moore.
In fact, it was a present
from Henry Moore to my father.
Oh, it's very beautiful.
Is it Roman, or Greek,
or something like that?
It's Roman, in fact.
Second century A.D.
You have good taste.
I think you'll like
what's downstairs.
The real treasures. Come.
Here we are.
These are all of my instruments.
The room is climate controlled, it's
to protect all these beautiful pieces.
- It's fantastic.
- Thank you. Thank you.
Yes, my family's been
collecting it for years.
This is a Guarneri. And a Stradivarius.
You may have heard of them.
- Oh, you play these violins?
- Oh, me? God, no. No, no.
But we lend them out.
They need to be played.
All these old instruments,
it's very romantic.
- Shall I show you upstairs?
- Okay.
- What's your name, sweetheart?
- Tell me your name.
I'm Wendy Beamish.
Wendy... Let's hear it
for Wendy Beamish.
Fantastic. I love you, Wendy.
I really do.
- Is it your first time on stage?
- Yes. Yes.
I love this woman from the bottom
of my heart. I mean that sincerely.
You're an incredible woman and I say
that with all due respect, Wendy.
Wendy, have you ever
been dematerialized before?
No, I haven't.
Ever had your
molecules broken up?
No, no, I've haven't.
She's nervous.
Don't be nervous, sweetheart.
This is not gonna hurt much.
Get into the box.
Get into the dematerializer.
Are you in there?
You comfortable?
I'm fine.
Okay, okay, stay calm.
Stay calm.
Can you hear me, Wendy?
You feel the molecules evaporating?
Let me hear from you, honey!
Remember these numbers.
16, 21, 12.
What?
16, 21, 12.
16, 21, 12.
Sixteen, 16 blue horses.
Twenty-one jet planes.
And 12 midgets.
12 spinning midgets.
That was as great
as I imagined it would be.
You look beautiful.
And pensive.
No, not pensive.
Just confused.
Women after lovemaking,
it's always so complicated.
Hey, I love your aftershave.
What is it?
It's Yardley.
I first used it when I was
16 and never changed.
I'm a very loyal soul.
Come here.
Do you have to put them on?
Well, they're quite sexy. God,
what makes you smell so sweet?
Oh, you like it?
Just some fragrance.
Right.
Where are you going?
I have an idea.
I think it's time to celebrate
with some champagne.
I want you to stay.
I make a mean scrambled egg.
Stay.
That's my mother.
Oh, she's very attractive.
Yes, she was very beautiful,
but quite difficult.
Difficult?
How?
Unfaithful.
Say, can you please stay?
Nothing would please me more. Come on.
I really can't.
Oh, why not?
My father.
He's feeling not that great.
Nothing serious?
No, no, nothing.
Just a tooth problem.
You know, a little
sensitivity in lower seven.
I really should go.
So, let me get back to the story.
I'm on stage.
I'm doing the dematerializer trick
with this chick
from Manchester.
I don't know
where they get these people,
but she looked like Sitting Bull.
And I got her in the thing,
and I vanish her
and everything goes according
to plan exactly and she's gone.
And suddenly, Strombel appears.
What?
Yes, Strombel's in there!
I got a tremendous hand
from the audience.
I wish I could do it every night!
What did he say?
He gave me
the combination to a safe.
What safe, I have no idea.
I didn't see any safe.
Well, did you accomplish anything
besides maybe a possible pregnancy?
I'll tell you what I did see.
His mother, Lady Eleanor,
has short-cut, brunette hair.
Yeah, but not a hooker?
No, Sidney,
she's not a hooker!
I hardly think so.
She's practically royalty.
Christ, you amaze me sometimes.
Your brain!
Back off. You know,
you're getting so upset.
I'm just trying to figure out
the various ramifications.
I just don't like
this whole thing!
I feel disgusting,
all right, it's awful.
I don't like
the whole process.
Yeah, you want to think
he's innocent.
What's so bad about that, huh?
Jesus, this guy
must be some lover, you know.
I mean, all of a sudden you're
ready to dump the whole story.
I must find out
what breakfast cereal he eats.
What am I talking about?
There's a combination on the door where he
keeps his precious musical instruments.
Okay,
so there is a combination!
I just got
to get in that room.
Do you have the combination?
We're not gonna break into his room
if that's what you're thinking.
You gotta have the com...
I got to get in there. No, no.
No, no, we're not going to do this
because it's not legal... You...
Sondra, what's wrong with you?
This guy is
the son of a Lord!
They'll take us to the Tower
of London and behead us!
- Hi.
- Guess what?
- What?
- Peter Lyman sent you flowers.
I assume your name is Jade Spence?
Naturally I accepted for you.
Yeah, I'm Jade Spence.
- What is going on?
- Oh, Vivian...
Peter's giving a party on
Saturday and he wants me to come.
I... Oh,
I guess I'll have to buy a dress.
Well, he certainly
seems smitten with you.
If he's smitten with anyone,
it's Jade Spence.
Who is Jade Spence?
A would-be investigative reporter
who's falling in love with the
object of her investigation.
Of course we did.
Absolutely.
God bless you, sir.
I'm going to show
you a little thing.
I want you to think of a card.
Just think of one
of those cards.
Any one you want.
You got it?
All right, now, are you happening to
be thinking of the seven of spades?
That's amazing!
How do you do that?
Just a little hobby of mine.
You know, I wish
I had more time to practice,
but, what with my oil wells,
you know, I never get around to it.
Your daughter's very beautiful.
- You met my daughter?
- Yes.
Yes, we're very proud of her.
She's a lovely girl.
Overcame a great handicap.
Yeah. You know,
she was learning disabled.
Her mother and I took her to
many specialists, you know.
Now she's practically normal,
you know.
She's a charmer.
God bless you, sweetheart.
What is your sign?
I'm an Aquarian.
- You're Aquarian?
- And what is your persuasion?
- Do you mean my religion?
- Yeah, your persuasion.
- I'm a Christian.
- Yes, are you?
- What are you?
- Me, I was born into the Hebrew persuasion,
but, when I got older,
I converted to narcissism.
Dad?
Dad, I need to talk
to you right now.
Oh, I was just about to pull some
quarters out of Mrs. Quincy's nose.
Right now.
I need to talk to you.
- Really?
- Yep.
Excuse me. I'll...
Where?
Would you stop doing
those nitwit tricks?
What is wrong with you?
You're supposed to be a
dignified businessman.
I told them it was a hobby.
The hobby of a rich merchant.
You know, so...
- Oh, excuse me.
- Excuse me.
Go down the stairs,
open the music room door.
I'll keep Peter busy.
I'll meet you down there in a minute.
You brought the combination, right?
No, I left it in my other jacket.
- What?
- Yes. And...
So, what are we gonna do?
You gotta go home
and get it then.
I can't get it because the other
jacket's in the cleaners.
Sidney. This is the problem
having a limited wardrobe.
But not to worry.
I have a mnemonic system.
I remember everything.
There you are. Mr. Spence,
trust you're having a good time?
Yes, a great time!
This reminds me of our party.
We threw a masked ball in Palm Beach
this year, it was wonderful.
I came as a harlequin.
She dressed as Petunia Pig.
Honey, there's something I
wanted to ask you about.
- Absolutely.
- That was a mask, wasn't it? Just...
- I love her.
- Just a minute, okay?
Do you need a drink, Mr. Spence?
No, I'm fine, thank you.
It's eight
blue horses.
No, no, no.
It's 10.
Ten spinning midgets.
No, it's 12. Twelve jet
planes and eight... No.
- Good to see you. Have a nice time.
- Nice to meet you.
Calm down, calm down.
It was... It was...
It was...
Eight maids a-milking
and three French hens.
No, no.
Sixteen, wait, 21 jet planes,
12 spinning midgets.
Eureka!
I'll be right back.
I'm just gonna use the bathroom.
Sidney?
Sidney, is that you?
I'm locked in! Oh, Christ...
What's the combination?
For some reason,
it's gone out of my mind.
Did you see Miss Spence?
I thought I saw her
going downstairs.
Downstairs, right.
It's 16 blue horses.
It's 21 jet planes.
And 12 midgets.
Twelve spinning midgets.
Oh, thank God!
I thought I was gonna turn out
to be one of those skeletons
people find when they sell the house.
Check the door.
Sixteen, 21, 12. You couldn't
remember that number?
My mnemonic system failed me.
What do you want me to say?
Now exactly what are we looking for in here?
This is all...
I'm not really sure.
You're not sure?
Well, you know,
don't break anything.
By God, we'll get caught
and God knows.
Hey, you know
the old dirty joke
about how the French horn player
sleeps with his wife at night?
Sidney, put that thing down!
Will you excuse me?
There's nothing but musical
instruments in here.
I'm telling you, we're on a
wild goose chase. Believe me.
Jade?
What's the matter?
Did you hear that?
I thought I heard something.
Oh, come on, come on.
Let's get out of here.
All we need
is to get caught in here.
Jade?
Ah, there you are.
I was searching for you.
The guests
will be leaving soon.
Yes, well, I was just showing Father around.
He loves English homes.
Yes, I was very impressed
with your cellar.
I have a wonderful cellar myself.
No wine,
but it's rodent free.
Well, let's get a drink.
Please, Mr. Spence, I haven't
seen you with a drink all night.
- Can you stay the night, please?
- What?
- Come on.
- No, I can't.
- Why not?
- My father.
Oh, come on, I'll have
my driver take him home.
No. I can't let you go.
You're too beautiful.
Look at you. I can't.
Jade?
Jade.
Jade, it's 4:00 a.m.
What are you doing?
I couldn't sleep,
so I thought maybe some milk.
Jade, can I ask you something?
Would you consider not going
home at the end of the summer?
I don't understand,
what more proof do you need?
What are you gonna
tell the police?
The guy owns a deck
of Tarot cards.
That's not a crime.
I mean, what, he was late
for a poker game?
I'm sure he's smart enough
to have an alibi.
What are we left with?
His mother has short-cut,
brunette hair.
I mean, look, if we blow
the whistle on this guy...
I know. I understand...
and he's innocent and
we can't make the story
Then he realizes
that you're, you know,
you're a pushy little phony
who's been playing him for a sucker
and he dumps you,
you know. I get it.
All right. All I'm saying, is that
in order to make an accusation,
we gotta have proof.
Especially
about Lord Lyman's son.
You don't make an accusation.
We can phone in
an anonymous tip.
You know how many crank tips
the papers say the police get?
You're gonna phone one in
on Peter Lyman!
They'll hang up on you
mid-sentence.
Besides, if the story's true,
I want to be the one
to break it.
You know
what Joe Strombel said?
He said, "Get it first,
but first get it right."
Happy birthday.
Wow, thank you.
What's up?
You look so sullen.
No, I'm not. I just...
I get sad around birthdays.
Oh, yes, well,
I can understand that,
but I think we're both still
young enough to enjoy the gifts.
Come on, open it.
Okay.
Oh, wow, it's beautiful.
- You like it?
- I love it.
Good. Here, allow me.
Gosh.
You shouldn't have.
I wanted to.
Hey, hey, are you crying?
No, I'm too tough to cry.
Though my nasal passages do
become congested when I'm sad.
Oh, don't be sad.
It's your birthday.
Oh, I wish I could
celebrate with you tonight.
I just have to go out of town
for a few days.
Really?
Yes, I just have
some business to take care of.
But we'll celebrate when I
get back, all right? Okay.
Thank you so much for the present.
It's beautiful.
I'll think about you
whenever I wear it.
You didn't tell me
it was your birthday!
I'll take you
for a magnificent dinner.
We'll go to a
great restaurant.
Really?
Do you enjoy
the McNuggets thing?
What about Indian food?
Do you like spicy food?
No, no, it's okay.
I don't really have
much of an appetite.
But you will when they bring out
the prawns in hydrochloric acid.
It's fantastic, Sondra.
What's the matter?
- What, are you thinking of Peter?
- No.
I don't know, it's just...
I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me
to marry him one day, you know?
You come from an Orthodox family.
Would they accept a serial killer?
That's an expensive present.
The Lymans are so wealthy.
Yes.
It was almost too extravagant.
I'd better get ready.
I still haven't found
my millionaire yet.
Oh, God, Sondra, what a mess!
It's starting to add up
against him.
Bits and scraps
are coming together.
God, it's you!
I sensed you were falling in love.
I escaped again.
It's just circumstantial junk, you know.
A coincidence here and there.
Too much smoke
not to be fire.
Look, I'm sure you've been
wrong plenty of times.
Not wrong here.
Though I agree you haven't got
enough to pull the trigger yet.
If you act prematurely,
not only does he walk,
your professional credibility
is wrecked, sometimes for good.
Oh, I'm sure you want him
to be guilty.
You know, that way you get
your last big scoop.
I'm beginning to fade.
Sondra, don't let me down!
I wish you'd fade for good!
Get out of my life!
I'm not cut out for this.
I should be
flossing molars for a living.
The bread is... You know, I can
make a meal just with the bread.
I can do a whole meal,
just nothing but bread.
If I ate that much bread,
I'd be 20 pounds heavier.
See, I never gain an ounce,
because, you know,
my anxiety acts like aerobics.
So I get the exercise.
Thanks for taking me out
for my birthday, Sidney.
Well, you know, you're the
daughter that I never had.
- Oh, that's so...
- No, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
'Cause I never wanted
to have kids.
I didn't.
Because you have kids,
what is it?
You know,
you're nice to them,
you bring them up,
you suffer,
you take care of them
and then they grow up and they
accuse you of having Alzheimer's.
Could you ever live in London?
Could I live in London? No.
And I love London.
Don't get me wrong,
I love London,
but, you know,
apart from the language problem,
I can't take the driving.
Because it, you know,
it's on the wrong side, and I...
Every time
I drive a car here,
I'm convinced
I'm going to die in a crash.
Sidney!
What's the matter?
It's Peter.
You said
Peter was out of town.
Well, that's what he told me.
Come on.
What do you mean, come on?
I ordered prawns.
Just pay, all right?
Just pay.
What do you mean, pay?
All I do is...
Fine, it's her birthday.
Come on.
Maybe he's got
another woman on the side,
and he likes you, but he's
sexually attracted to her.
Thanks, Sidney.
Well, why doesn't he have
his chauffeur?
I don't know, whatever he's doing,
he must want it to be secret.
Oh, I told you
he went the other way!
Can we go home, please?
It's starting to rain.
I can't believe
he lied to me.
Maybe he's doing something that
he's ashamed to tell you about.
Maybe he belongs to
one of those clubs,
or he's a cross-dresser
or something.
Or maybe he does folk dancing.
Oh, I'm sure it's probably
something that when he tells me,
I'll just feel foolish
for thinking he lied.
I'm sure. You know, not everything
in this world is sinister.
You know,
just practically everything.
That Indian food
made me sick.
You hardly touched
your cobra salad.
How can you be sick?
Help!
A woman's been strangled!
Help!
A woman's been strangled!
Help, call the police!
Somebody call the police!
There's been a murder!
There's been
a murder upstairs.
Help!
Have you got a phone? Have you got a phone?
Call the police.
Could it be the Tarot Killer?
They found a Tarot card.
It's him.
I can't believe it!
She lives in this building.
It's him again.
They found the Tarot card.
Elizabeth Gibson,
another short-haired brunette.
We should have
gone to the police earlier.
Well, you know... You said
that they wouldn't believe us
and they may not.
Sidney, it's about time we show
my story to a real newspaperman.
By real, you mean what?
One that's living.
Vivian's father has a friend
that works at The Observer.
Well, it's very vivid
and rather shocking,
and there are some genuine
circumstantial bits of evidence.
But let me give you a lesson
in professional journalism.
No newspaper should
or would ever run this story.
What? Why?
It would be fatally
irresponsible and libelous.
All you have here are a number
of titillating speculations.
Flamboyant theories that tarnish a man,
and a well-known figure at that,
without a single shred
of substantial proof.
So his mother
was a short-haired brunette.
So he came late
for a poker game
and said he was going away on a
business trip and he got caught lying.
Yes, but who keeps a Tarot
deck under a French horn?
It's not against the law
to own a Tarot deck,
or keep it wherever you like.
You'd look pretty foolish in
court with your accusations,
and that's
where you'll wind up.
Because he'd have no choice but
to sue you and the newspaper,
and he'd win.
And to go to the police?
I'll come to that.
But first let me continue my
tedious professorial lecture.
Vivian's dad and I
go way back.
He said you were
a journalism student.
You talk about getting a tip.
Okay, you won't
disclose your source,
but what you have done is
let your imagination run wild.
No, no.
What if I told you that my source
happened to be a certain Joe Strombel?
- The late Joe Strombel?
- Yep.
You mean, before he died
he gave a student reporter
a major story and didn't
follow it up himself?
We didn't say
it was before he died.
- What?
- No, it...
He got the story
before he died,
and then he died
before he could follow it up.
Well, why did he give it to you?
He didn't know he was dying.
I don't buy it.
I knew Joe Strombel well.
If he'd had a tip
that he considered reliable,
he would certainly
have pursued it himself,
from the grave, if necessary.
What about how Peter
was in the neighborhood
the night the murder was committed?
I realize as a student
how exciting it must have been
to think that you were onto
something so spectacular.
Hey, she is onto something!
This kid is a bloodhound.
Look at her!
She could sell the story
to any tabloid in town.
Now that I've preached on the
realities of accurate reporting,
I want to tell you how catastrophic
for everybody involved
it would have been
if you had, say, taken
the results of your
investigation to a tabloid.
Today, the police have apprehended
the Tarot Card Serial Killer.
And it most assuredly
is not Peter Lyman.
What?
Every paper in town is going
to press with it as we speak.
It was a handyman named
Henry Banks who has confessed.
Banks is a delusional paranoid
who's given Scotland Yard
information that only the
killer could possibly know.
He's led the police
to two additional bodies
and his DNA and a fingerprint
they found check out.
I know this puts a
crimp in your scoop,
but Henry Banks is
the Tarot Card Serial Killer.
Not Lord Lyman's son.
Well, I can't say
I'm not walking on air.
Oh, Jesus, If I ever catch
that Joe Strombel, I'll kill him.
I only hope Peter forgives
me for what I've done.
For what?
I lied to him.
I'm not Jade Spence.
I'm a pushy, duplicitous,
ambitious college student.
I lied to him, over and over.
Darling, he lied to you, too,
so it's even.
His lies pale in comparison to
the enormity of what I've done.
So marry him as Jade Spence.
Don't tell him.
You know, you don't have to
be Sondra Pransky ever again.
Marry him as Jade Spence.
Yeah, but I don't want to have to get
you a Father's Day gift every year.
You know, I don't know how
to break this to you, honey, but...
you were adopted. Okay?
Your mother and I,
we were at the orphanage,
we wanted a handicapped child, and...
Ah, finally.
Just you and I all weekend.
Yeah.
I thought you'd like it here.
It's lovely.
- Peter?
- Yes.
- I have a confession to make.
- Oh, God, so do I.
Oh, well, let me go first.
Actually, no, let me, please,
because mine's
been bothering me all day.
I just want
to get it off my chest.
When I told you I was going away
for a few days on business,
I was lying.
- I know.
- You know? How?
- Oh, I saw you.
- You saw me? No.
- I was at dinner, and...
- With your father?
- Actually...
- Well, anyway, it doesn't matter. Really.
The truth is,
that a company my father owns
is about to merge with a
company in the Middle East.
It's a very
sensitive situation,
and the less anyone knows
about it, the better.
And we just didn't want
the press to sniff it out.
I mean,
that's no excuse, really.
I'm just very sorry
for the extreme secrecy.
No, no, no, it's fine.
I'm glad.
It's your own secret information.
That's fine.
So your father took you out
for a birthday dinner
and you saw me.
I mean, how unnerving.
God, I mean, the thing I hate
most in the world is lying.
What?
- Peter...
- Yes, Jade?
Peter...
Oh, yes.
What did you want to tell me?
Jade, there's nothing
you can tell me that...
My name is not Jade Spence.
It's not?
No. It's Sondra Pransky.
And my father is not my father.
His name is Sidney Waterman.
He's a magician called Splendini.
I'm a journalism student.
Don't ask me what kind of crazy
misinformation we received
to believe you might be
the Tarot Card Killer.
I mean, I didn't know you at this time.
Remember?
And, of course,
as soon as I got to know you,
I knew that
it couldn't possibly be true.
And the police have him now,
so everything's fine.
Of course, along the
route I fell for you,
and now
I totally blew it, and...
Who told you this?
Oh, a newspaperman.
He's now deceased.
Very foolish.
He was eager
for his last scoop.
Oh, I'm so sorry. I just
totally understand if you never
want to speak to me again
- or if you don't want to see me...
- Miss Pransky.
Not only am I not angry
with you, but you...
- You've absolutely made my day!
- What?
Just suspecting that I could
be such an imaginative,
dramatic fiend.
I love it.
- You do?
- Yes.
I think it's one of the funniest, craziest
things I've ever heard in my life.
I can't wait to tell
the chaps at the club.
Peter?
Yes, darling.
I have to ask you something.
Yes, anything. Absolutely.
Why did you hide that Tarot
deck in your music room?
How do you know about that?
I was so paranoid. I...
It's crazy.
But I snuck in.
Oh, dear,
it was going to be a surprise.
I bought them for you.
They're Victorian Tarot cards.
You told me you were
into that kind of thing.
- What? Oh...
- It was gonna be a gift for you.
Oh, you're so...
I feel like such an idiot!
Darling, no, no, no, never mind, never mind.
What a shame.
- Let's forget about it.
- No...
Huh? Let's just...
Now that we've confessed our sins,
let's move on with our lives, huh?
Really?
Yeah. I want to hear
all about the real you.
And I assure you in advance,
I'll love it.
Oh, God,
you snuck into
my music room, did you?
So the reason
why he was skulking around,
was 'cause he had
this private family business
which is too delicate
to discuss, actually.
Sorry, I don't buy it.
What?
The man is a liar
and a murderer.
And I say that
with all due respect.
Sidney. Child, I know
what I'm talking about.
Don't call me that, all right?
Do you remember when we
were out on the estate,
I found a clue,
you thought I was nuts?
I thought you were
nuts so many times
I can't recall the exact one.
Do you remember this?
Do you remember this little item?
This clue?
Yes, Betty G.
Yes, Betty G.
Now, I checked all the
girls that were murdered.
The one that was killed the night we
saw Peter on the street, was named
Elizabeth Gibson.
So?
So Betty is short for
Elizabeth a lot of times.
Oh, come on, Sidney.
That's a real stretch.
You're reaching now.
Look, supposing you wanted to rub
somebody out and not get caught.
Nobody wants
to get caught, Sidney.
Look,
he wants to get rid of Elizabeth Gibson.
Betty Gibson. Betty Gibson.
So, there's a series of murders
with a guy that's got a real style.
A Tarot card.
They said
he was a total maniac.
He buys a Tarot deck
and let's say he hides it.
Hypothetically, he hides it,
let's say, in a music room.
- Let's say he hides it in,
- Oh, Sidney!
Let's say, a French horn.
In a French horn!
I'm losing patience with you.
I'm not saying the guy
did all the murders.
I'm saying that he just did
Elizabeth Gibson,
then folded it into the series of the
Tarot Killer so he wouldn't get caught.
Henry Banks
confessed to all the murders.
Henry Banks is deranged!
He hallucinates!
My God.
Henry... And you know those guys
like to brag when they get caught.
Henry Banks, you know...
Where are you going?
The cops will dump every
unsolved murder on Henry Banks.
They haven't
caught anybody in years.
- Peter wouldn't hurt a fly.
- Oh, really?
What about a fly who speaks?
- What?
- Yes.
Why would Peter
kill a prostitute?
Because it looks terrible
on his resume.
Who knows what kind of
sordid life this guy has?
Have you completely
lost your mind?
What is wrong with you?
Peter being blackmailed
by a prostitute?
It's ridiculous.
What are you putting
in your Metamucil?
You know...
Where are you going?
You don't understand!
It would kill his reputation!
Oh, can you bring
the water out?
Can I say one thing?
Can I just tell you one thing?
Joe Strombel
would not agree with you.
I don't want to talk about
Joe Strombel, all right?
Even a great reporter
can be wrong.
But he's not wrong.
Blackmail. I see it all over.
You are a cynical crapehanger
who always sees the
glass half-empty!
No, you're wrong.
I see the glass half-full,
but of poison.
And you're gonna
wind up drinking it!
You don't know anything.
You don't have a reporter's
instincts, okay?
You're some guy who
vanishes silk handkerchiefs
and cuts people's neckties off.
Do everybody a favor.
Go back to your card tricks, all right?
Did you tell her?
I did. I told her.
And I made it seem as though it
all suddenly just came to me.
I know I'm right.
She just won't listen to me.
She hates me.
Yeah. I... You know,
sometimes, I got to say,
I worry about that girl.
I don't think
I'll be seeing you anymore.
Well, if there's a scoop
to be had here,
she's going to get it for you.
You can only cheat death
so many times,
and I've used
every trick I know.
You look after her.
She's a decent kid.
And check his Tarot deck.
See if a card's missing.
I'm a reporter.
I'm doing a story on
Elizabeth Gibson,
and I know she lived here.
I didn't know her.
I hardly ever saw
her come and go.
She was quiet.
All right.
I knew what she did for a living.
But whether she used to entertain
her clients here, or not, I couldn't say.
Oh, excuse me. I'm a reporter.
And I'm doing a story
About Elizabeth Gibson.
If there's any comments, anything
you know about her that I...
- What paper? What paper are you from?
- The Washington Post.
I'm one of the top reporters on the...
Did you see All the President's Men?
I was the short guy.
Why is an American paper
interested in this?
No, no, we are, we are.
We're doing a big story.
The Travel and Leisure section
is doing a big spread
on places
to avoid like the plague.
And so, I'm...
I'll make it very worth your while,
you know and...
All right, all right, all right.
I knew Betty Gibson.
And she was very tough.
But I don't think
that she deserved to die.
Did you say Betty Gibson?
Everyone called her Betty.
That was her name.
Really? And did you know
any of her clients at all?
I mean, she knew millions of men, didn't she?
She was very sexy.
You know. Not that you'd know
that from those pictures.
She used to be a really
pretty baby-faced blonde.
You know,
the sort men go nuts for.
A blonde? But in the paper...
The pictures in the paper...
Oh, no, I know, I know.
She made the mistake of cutting
it off and dyeing it black.
God knows why.
Maybe it's to please
one of her regulars.
She had steady clients?
Well, yeah, one for sure.
Look, these guys never use
their real names, okay?
But there was this one rich
kid that she saw a lot.
And his name was Peter.
Peter what?
Peter...
Peter Yardley. Peter Yardley?
Yardley. Yardley.
Hello?
Hello, this is Mr. Spence.
Sid.
Sid Waterman Spence.
This is Sid Waterman Spence.
Where have I called?
Oh, hello, Sidney.
It's Peter Lyman.
Sondra and I are spending the weekend
at my father's country house.
You could have come.
That's okay. She gave
me this number to call.
May I speak with her?
Yes, one second.
Hi, Sidney.
Listen, I got a treasure
trove of information here.
I just was snooping with...
On Elizabeth Gibson.
She's called Betty. Betty!
She's called Betty.
And she had some kind of
a long relationship...
A special relationship
with some young guy, Peter.
The last name doesn't click,
but I'm sure it's the same.
This is crazy.
Look, stop making trouble,
Sidney. The case is closed.
Listen, this thing adds up.
You're alone up there with
a very, very dangerous man.
That's two verys.
You got to get back to town
right away.
Sidney, if I thought there was
a shred of proof,
I would never let my personal
feelings get involved, all right?
The truth is,
I'm crazy about the guy.
I can't keep obsessing over
tantalizing conspiracy theories.
You know, I'm sure
that he killed her
and made it look
like a Tarot killing.
You know, you don't see it because
you got stars in your eyes.
Look, I don't...
This is crazy!
I don't want to talk
about this anymore.
It's too upsetting for me,
all right?
Let me have my nice weekend.
I'll talk to you
when I get back.
Stop putting these paranoid
thoughts in my head!
- Is Sidney okay?
- Yes, yes.
You know, I love Sidney,
I really do,
but he's just...
He's got a part missing,
you know, he's crazy!
Yes, really?
Like what?
We'll talk about it later.
Let me change, okay?
Yes? Oh, yes, sir.
Yes. My daughter is in the
country with Mr. Lyman.
And I'm gonna be driving up
there later and she asked me
if I could pick up her red cashmere sweater.
She thinks she left it upstairs.
Red cashmere?
Yes, it's a red sweater.
It's a kind of a red,
tomato red,
like a fire engine.
A red. A rouge.
- I understand, sir. Red.
- Yes, yes.
I'll see if I can find it.
Sir?
Oh, I was just
checking out the Stradivarius.
I play a few pieces myself on the violin.
Prokofiev and Bartok, the Hot Canary...
But Mr. Lyman is the only person to
have the combination to that room.
Yes, but he wanted to share
it with me because, you know,
in case something happened,
you know,
life is very capricious.
A stroke, a sudden embolism or lightning...
You know I...
Darling, I love you.
I mean that sincerely.
You're a wonderful woman, you're a tremendous
servant and a credit to your race.
And I mean that. From the bottom
of my heart I say that to you.
I notice you didn't
get the red sweater.
She probably left it
in another bedroom.
You know, she's got a little
problem with promiscuity.
But...
So, I'll be going. I'll call you.
We'll have lunch.
Mr. Lyman, sir, Mr. Spence has been
here and he's been into the music room.
What do you mean?
A most unusual
sequence of events.
Mr. Spence came by looking
for his daughter's sweater.
Said she'd requested it.
Next thing I knew,
he was in the music room.
Sir, I think he'd been
drinking, from his behavior.
Yes, yes.
Yes. Okay, Margaret,
thank you. Goodbye.
Is everything okay?
Yes.
Yes, it will be.
It's so nice to be out
here with you, just away
from the rest of the world and...
Yes, I often come out here
to read and, well, and fish.
There's trout in the lake.
What are you thinking about?
- You really want to know?
- Yes.
Just how ironic life is,
and tragic.
Why?
Well, that I met you
by rescuing you from drowning
and found you
totally enchanting and
now we've come
full cycle and, alas,
you're going to have to drown.
What?
Oh, I imagine by now Sidney's
confirmed that I killed Betty Gibson.
I mean, in my own defense, there
really was no other way out.
At first I managed
to hide my identity from her,
but I saw her too many times
over the years
and she learned who I was,
and...
Well, it became
a constant demand for money
and I just could not let
that go on, could I?
I mean, my whole life
and career
would be just hostage to
her moods at all times.
So, I studied the Tarot case,
I rehearsed my plan,
and, well, you know the rest.
If you do something to me,
Sidney's gonna find out!
He'll tell someone.
No, no, no. You see, you will
go in a boating accident,
and Sidney will go
later tonight.
No one knows
of your relationship with him,
because, after all, you're not
actually father and daughter, are you?
And no one will think twice to investigate
the death of some obscure vaud...
Are you listening?
No one will think twice
to investigate the death
of some obscure vaudevillian called
Splendini, who is really a stranger to me.
Help!
Help! Someone help me!
Yes, very quiet, isn't it?
This is the advantage
of a private lake.
Get off me!
Get off me!
Get off me!
Come...
Yes, police.
Yes, this is Peter Lyman.
I need the police immediately.
At the Lyman estate.
There's been a terrible boating accident.
A woman has drowned.
It's awful.
Please come right away.
Thank you. Thank you.
They think they know
where the body is.
I'm so sorry, sir.
When last I saw her, she...
She just said she wanted to go out
there to communicate with nature.
Just to think she wanted
some peace and quiet and...
She wasn't depressed, or anything
like that, was she, sir?
God, no. No.
I mean, unless she was
keeping it from me.
You heard no cries for help?
No! No, I was listening to
music in here, damn it.
It's just so ironic.
Because the way
I first met her
I rescued her from
drowning in our club pool.
And she was a very,
very weak swimmer.
Hello?
I was faking it at the pool
to get your attention.
Actually, I used to be captain of
the Brooklyn Community Swim Team.
Fascinating observation.
Lyman lost a cufflink
at the flat of a prostitute,
who was later killed
by the Tarot Card Killer.
Well, this upright chap certainly
enjoyed patronizing some dodgy women.
Unfortunately for Elizabeth Gibson,
she elected to blackmail him.
It's a beautifully
written story
and one of the best bits of investigative
journalism in a long time.
And this paper
is proud to run it.
Oh, I have to share the
credit with Joe Strombel.
An inspiration,
who taught me more than I
could ever explain to anyone.
And to the late
Sidney Waterman.
Splendini.
A nice guy who helped out
with the investigation
and without whom
I never could have made it.
Sidney, wherever you are,
I'll never forget you.
How did you get here?
Me?
I couldn't get used to driving on the
goddamn wrong side of the street!
You know, I was driving
up to the country,
and in the United States,
I would have been a hero.
I would have saved her.
I would have...
But here, you know...
That's the one drawback
of living in London.
Granted, the
theater's better,
there's many good
Indian restaurants.
Well, what did you do?
What do I do?
I'm Splendini. Magician.
- Would you like to see something?
- Oh, yes, please.
- Do we have time for a card trick?
- Yes.
I believe we have eternity.
I'm going to show you
a little trick now.
I just want to say from the bottom of
my heart, I mean this sincerely...
I say this
with all due respect.
You are a wonderful group and
a fantastic group of people.
I love you and I feel that
coming back from you.
And you may be deceased,
but you should not
be discouraged.
Because, you know...
Don't think of being dead
as a handicap.
You know, when I was a
child, I stuttered.
But with stick-to-it-iveness
and perseverance,
you know, you can never tell
what could happen.
Now, I want you
to take a card, Alma.
Go ahead,
take any card you want.
Just pick it. Pick it.
Go ahead, sweetheart.
I love you, sweetheart.
That's fantastic.