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Secrets of Sugar Baby Dating (2019)
This programme contains some
strong language. What is it that you do, then? I maintain a relationship with these men. So it has all the elements of a normal relationship? Yeah, just I'm being financially supported. I'm Tiffany Sweeney, and I'm going to be stepping into the world of sugar dating. I'm putting myself out there for men to just look at me and decide if they think they want to offer me something. I go undercover and try sugar dating for myself... ..joining over 3.5 million people using sugar dating websites here in the UK. I'm scared. So, uh, I'm just going to be like... Sugar babies aim to find rich sugar daddies or mummas who'll give them a monthly allowance. They can receive thousands of pounds in cash, as well as expensive gifts. I think a lot of sugar babies desire name-brand products, specifically luxurious brands such as Chanel. But what are some sugar babies expected to give in return? No, he just spelled it out. He's just said "fucking in all its varied forms." The websites say sugar dating is a way to pay off debts and network. Do you accept that you are facilitating sex for money on your website? No, absolutely not. But how easy is it to start sugar dating and end up in sex work? You have all this money in your hand, and you just had sex for 20 minutes. For 20 minutes, why am I not going to do this again? I feel like I've entered the world of sex work. INTERCOM BUZZES I was going to meet an 18-year-old sugar baby. Hello. Hi, welcome. Hi. I'm Tiffany. Valentina. Nice to meet you. She goes by the name Valentina. I've got quite a few friends here in London, so it's good to make friends because it means you can crash a little bit easier when you've been out partying and stuff. She dates men for money. At the moment, I'm meeting guys on a pay-per-meet basis, we just go for dinner, that's it. Call it a night. Dinner. Cocktails. Goodbye. I ask for a sum of money for the date. You know what I mean? It costs, all the effort I've put in to get glammed up and stuff for him. If I like him, we get along, maybe then he is a POT, a potential sugar daddy. Valentina currently has seven sugar daddies who give her a monthly allowance, known in the sugar dating world as an arrangement. Most of her sugar daddies are over 40, more than twice her age. I can never level with boys my age, because their motives are different to mine. They would rather sit at home and play Fifa. Do the men like the fact that you're young, then? Yeah, of course they do. They don't want a woman that's going to come to them grumbling with problems, with, you know, stresses of her life. They want to meet a girl that brings and injects youthfulness back into their lives. You know some guys like the schoolgirl kind of fantasy. So sometimes there is role playing involved. It's interesting sex. It's not just...you know. How do you feel when you do that? When you dress up as a schoolgirl? I enjoy it too. It's fun. I act like a schoolgirl, you know. I am a schoolgirl, I'm at college, but you know what I mean? I was going to show you, actually, what I picked up the other day. OK. It's just like a baby doll kind of... It's really cute. My pyjamas don't look like this. Valentina has been gifted lots of clothes by her sugar daddies. This dress literally makes me feel a million dollars. Sexy. This one is a bit more out there. This is what I tend to wear to the top clubs in London. This is a Dsquared dress. I was gifted it by one of my SDs. It's got a mark on it from where I spilt a lot of alcohol on it last night. So, how much is this? Expensive. How expensive? Over the grand mark. It was more or less just like a gift one day. A pretty generous gift, isn't it? It's lovely. Yeah. When I see something I like, I will gesture him, I will touch him on the shoulder, make eye contact. Everything that you do considered flirting, I will make him associate shopping with sexual things, because men are sexual creatures. My relationships with these men are sexual. I'm not going to lie about it. Of course I want to sleep with them. Of course I want to rip their clothes off. Just like any normal relationship. Tonight, Valentina has a date with another potential sugar daddy. You know, the average sugar baby takes, like, 3,000 a month from one guy. Are you the average sugar baby? I don't know. Am I? PHONE RINGS Hello? Oh, well, I'm just in the middle of something. Can I call you back? You OK? Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for asking. Always. OK, bye. Just a normal guy. I just saw him at the casino, and he asked if I wanted a drink, and I said OK. Do you want to be friends with him? Yeah, maybe. I don't know. He's a lot older, and he's got a wife. So that's also a massive no-go. Valentina's favourite sugar daddy is 47. She hopes to marry him when he retires. I think he's really fit. Yeah. So how often do you see him a month, then? Probably three times in a month. Not a lot. So you only see him three times a month? Mm-hm. And you're getting, roughly, I'm just going to gauge about three grand, four grand? You want me to not smile? I was expecting you to say you see him, like, three or four times a week. He's a busy guy. That's a lot of money, isn't it? PHONE RINGS Hello? How are you? I'm going to have to call you back, is that OK? OK, bye-bye. Usually, generally talking for myself, I won't meet anyone unless I've been speaking with them for weeks. Some girls just do escorting, but they just sugar-coat it. You know what I mean? You're saying that they do sugar-coated sex work, so what is it that you do, then? I maintain a relationship with these men. So, it has all the elements of a normal relationship? Yeah, just I'm being financially supported. That's literally it to a T. Valentina is a fashion student. Her goal is to find the right sugar daddies to help her build her own brand. For me, it's not about the money they're giving to me, it's about how I use that money to make myself financially independent. OK, well, take care. You too. It was lovely to meet you. Have a good evening. You too. Valentina had said that sugar dating was about creating an emotional connection. But for me, what she's doing - dating men for money - seemed very close to sex work. I can't believe how blase she is about it. So, like, we've established that it's all the elements of, like, a normal relationship, but it's just the fact that she has... ..they're paying her for her time. But she says it so casually, and I'm like, "That's the biggest thing!" I want to be like, "Hello, they're paying you!" Valentina had met most of the men she dates online. Seeking Arrangement claims to be the world's largest sugar dating website. It even has its own Sugar Baby University page, specifically aimed at students. It says, "Join nearly half a million students in the UK who have turned "to sugar daddies to avoid student debt and secure a better future." To get their free premium membership, all you need is a university e-mail address. It says, on average, she would actually receive a monthly allowance of 2,900 among other benefits. And the benefits include networking opportunities, career or business advantages. This is opening you to a world of men. They know that students are struggling. With over half a million students sugar dating in the UK, I want to find out what kind of support the universities are offering. Kent University agreed to talk to me. Sugar dating website Seeking Arrangement claims it has over 1,000 students signed up at this university, the highest in the UK. We're going to talk about class as we understand it, and then we're going to talk about class as it is represented. Caitlin is a lecturer in media and culture. Through the Me Too movement, which has been a very powerful movement, we have talked about women who don't want sex, but we really don't want to talk about this grey area where women are potentially exchanging sexual interactions for money. And the problem with not talking about it is then we can't support young people. If we are not supporting them, we are not enabling good choices. We are letting them down. Sugar dating websites tend to claim that it's all above board, but not a lot of information is provided on these sites. We don't hold them accountable in any way. This is why we see specific targeting of young people. Women are more accessible than ever before, and people who want to abuse that access can do that quite freely. Caitlin has an open-door policy, and is beginning to see students who want advice on sugar dating. What were the main reasons that you went on these sites? I was curious, because at the time I had no money, and I was like, "Oh, I need quick money for my rent." My friend spoke to me about what she does. She started off sending pictures of her feet and then of her body. At first, she would use someone else's pictures, like get online. So her account was fake on this site, but then it got to the point where she would meet up with the person. She would get 300 in, like, a day. Some people want company, so you'd meet the person, just have dinner with them, talk to them for a few hours. Other people would want maybe sex or a relationship. It's just easy money. I could get 500 and my rent done, and I could do it three times a week. Obviously as a student, it's very difficult with money. I don't have a full-time job, I work part time, and I'd get less than that in a whole month. And obviously, with rent to pay, living costs, it is really difficult, and seeing friends do it, it's quite tempting. So, what would you say is one of the main reasons that this has become so popular with students? Like being a part of Instagram, Twitter, so many social media... ..public figures, like seeing their lifestyle, it's like, "Oh, I want that, I want instant money as well." Do you think sugar daddy sites are becoming as similar as Tinder and PlentyofFish, like normal dating sites? 100%, definitely, definitely. But I just think the repercussions aren't really spoken about, even in uni or between friends, it's difficult to talk about without being judged. Yasmin has now decided not to start sugar dating. Bye. The websites I spoke to were clear that sugar dating is about mutually beneficial relationships, and not about sex for cash. But by specifically targeting cash-strapped students, I wondered how many ended up on the sites out of financial desperation, vulnerable to the offers from much older wealthy men or women. Hiya. Nice to meet you. Is it Tiffany or Tiff? Tiffany is fine. Tiffany, OK. Yeah. It's nice here. Is it close to your uni? It's not too far. It's not too far at all. Within months of starting university in Nottingham, 22-year-old Luke found himself running out of cash. I was in my first year, coming up to Christmas, and realising I only just had enough money to pay for rent, and very little left over for food and things like that, and one of my friends at university, I kind of noticed that she was wearing new clothes and things like that. She was like, "Oh, well, I've been kind of seeing a guy, "you know, he's got a bit of money." I kind of asked, sort of sarcastically, whether you know, "Oh, you've got a sugar daddy, then?" And she was like, "Well, yeah, I do." I started thinking about whether I could do sort of something similar, so I set up profiles on sites, and I started to get quite a few messages from different men, went on a date with them. And what was that like, when you went on your first date? To be honest, I was absolutely terrified. He's quite a bit older than me, we'd go for dinner, go for drinks. After a few dates, Luke agree to have sex. How did you feel after the first time? I felt sick, really, but I needed the money, so I kind of just kept going. The focus was always the money? Yes, yes. Luke now has a regular sugar daddy in his mid-50s. They meet once a week. The arrangement I have at the moment, my sugar daddy will pay for dinner, but if I have sex with him, he pays me 60, 70 an hour. Being almost romantically involved with someone that is older than me, it's kind of... ..how uncomfortable that sometimes does make me feel, and kind of the shame of that, almost. You don't enjoy any aspect of it, do you? Not particularly, no. It's pretending to be a normal relationship. Maybe how I act around them isn't how I actually feel about them. At the end of the day, it's just an act that I put on to make them think it's something real. Do you think you're coping? I kind of just block it out, really, and just say, you know, this doesn't define me. Sometimes afterwards, you kind of do want to just go and get back in bed and sort of curl up by yourself just to make yourself feel better, really. God. Luke's family have no idea that he's in this situation, and he doesn't feel he can talk to them. I know they struggle financially as well, and I don't want to put that pressure on them, or sort of let them know that I am struggling, and sort of make them feel guilty. Luke feels that he can't talk to anyone about his sugar dating. Being paid for sex isn't illegal in the UK, but Luke is afraid he will be judged and face the same stigma as sex workers. I want to find out for myself what it's like to be a sugar baby. "A site you can trust, introducing wealthy men to beautiful "women since 2002." I'm going undercover by creating a profile posing as an 18-year-old student. Adriana. It sounds like an 18-year-old. If I was 18 again, that's what I would be. I am officially going to become a sugar baby. There I am. Adriana. That's literally it. Just name, date of birth. Now they've sent me an activation e-mail. That was so easy. There's no verification, it's just... You could basically be anybody you want to be. I'm sociable and fun-loving. I have a passion for life. I like that, "I have a passion for life." I'm looking to meet new people. Marital status, married but looking. That's like a normal thing now for these websites. "Choose at least one tag that will define what you are seeking "for in a relationship." Luxury lifestyle, emotional connection, attentive... You're basically telling girls straight away you can't get through life, or you can't manage anything, without a rich man. It's basically putting a price on women. I can buy you, I can buy your time, I can buy... ..a shag. Preferred ages, so 40 to 60. Looking for men who are just around my dad's age. You are talking 50-, 60-year-old men specifically looking for 18-year-olds. The websites clearly state the minimum age is 18. Escorting, prostitution and human trafficking are all prohibited. But age verification and background checks are not compulsory for standard members. In 2014, the world of sugar dating hit the headlines when sex worker Alix Tichelman was found guilty of the involuntary manslaughter of Google executive Forest Hayes. They met on a sugar dating website. Police are referring to Alix Tichelman as a prostitute, so how was she allowed on your site? Well, the fact is we actually did a background image search, which we do to all members to make sure they are not on any escorting or prostitutional websites. Her profile didn't raise any red flags, nor was there anything within the contents of her profile to indicate that she was using the site for these purposes. And in 2016, former Dragons' Den star Doug Richard was found not guilty of sexual activity with a 13-year-old girl he met on a sugar dating site. On her profile, she lied about her age, stating she was 17. This was not picked up by the website. New York, the City of Dreams. In most US states, sex work is illegal. Thank you. The USA has over 17 million people on sugar dating websites. One of them was 26-year-old Chandler. She moved to the Big Apple to make it in the fashion industry and clear her student debt. Hi! Hello. I did, like, everything that you do when you move to New York and you have no money. You don't eat a lot, you get 1 pizza, you do what you can. If you want to have a good life in New York, you have to figure out a side hustle. So I discovered sugar dating, and it was easy. You just got on a site and guys immediately start talking to you, and they start offering you money. At first, I thought you could just go on a date, there was one guy, he'd give me 200, but if you wanted to make more money, you then had to sleep with them. Chandler was paid 800 for sex. She knew it was sex work and illegal. When you get the cash, it's this exhilarating feeling. You have all this money in your hand, and you just had sex for 20 minutes. And like, I make that amount of money in two weeks in New York, so it's like, for 20 minutes, why am I not going to do this again? But with so much money on offer, it was a risk she took. When I got really desperate for rent was when I tried it again in March. Was it the same amount you got offered? No, it was more. This time, she says she was offered 1,200 by Ron, who said he was an investment banker. And he wanted a threesome, so Chandler asked a close friend. So, we're like in the cab getting ready, and doing some of our make-up in the car as we were headed towards him, cos we were a little crunched for time. He wanted, like, nude lips, smoky eye, nice lashes, he had me get my hair done, and a very, like, simple lingerie, like just a thong and a bra. Like just a nice dress. And like a high pair of heels. What should perhaps have rung alarm bells for Chandler was that Ron asked her to find and book a hotel room. He'd made sure that it was confirmed, it was booked, it was paid for, cos he asked me to send a screenshot of it. Ron assured Chandler he'd pay her back. Did you think it was strange that you had to organise everything? I didn't, because he explained it as the last time he had a sugar baby, the arrangement, she was more of his assistant, so she would always take care of things for him, cos he was so busy. Ron was very specific - the hotel had to be close to the Jay St-MetroTech subway. Which way do we go now? A short walk from a local university. So we go the hotel, and he is sitting in the lobby, he doesn't look like his picture, we go up to the room, and he is like, "OK, get out your phone and I will pay you." Because he wanted to pay us through PayPal. So I signed into PayPal, and he was like, "OK, you are going to request..." Like whatever, like 2,500 or 2,600, and... So he goes to request it and he's like, "OK, so everything is all set." And like we put our phone away. And then he's like, "OK, like, take off your clothes." And then the act happens, and he is like... He's really into power dynamics, so he wanted you to be super submissive, and super thankful of him giving you all this money, and he kind of just took turns with us, and had us all to himself, and did what he wanted. Yeah. We like felt good after, because we were like, "OK, it's over, "we just made 1,200, this is great." And then on the subway ride home, I'm looking at my account, and I'm like, "I don't see the money. When are you going to accept "the request?" cos he didn't actually accept it, and silence. And then he disappeared. What was that like, when you realised he's not going to give me this money? My heart dropped. It just...it just sunk in my chest and I was like, "Oh, my God. "Now I'm actually in debt, now I can't pay my rent." Believing she'd broken the law, Chandler felt she couldn't report Ron. Did you ever think about going to the police when it happened? I'm getting paid to have sex, which is illegal in America, so they don't have any sympathy for you unless you are raped or taken advantage of sexually. He manipulated me, it's like emotional rape, in a way. Like, he's just this master manipulator that takes advantage of young women who, like, are in desperate situations. If it's so difficult, and you have to keep reliving it, why are you so driven to tell your story? I can warn women there is a really dangerous side to sugar dating, it's emotionally damaging, and it's risk behaviour. Every time you go up to that hotel room, you don't know what can happen. What impact has this had on your life? Well, I mean, it lives with me for ever. So whoever I date next, at some point, I have to tell them, "Hey, like, I had sex for money." You kind of wonder if you are going to find someone who will accept that part of you. Honestly, someone who really cares about you, they will never judge you, and there is people out there, I just want you to know, I personally just want you to know that, cos there is people, honestly. What you've been through... There is good people that will, you know, no matter what you've been through or what's happened, that will not judge you. Yeah, and I have to remind myself, like, I don't want to date anyone that would judge me for that. Yeah. Chandler reported Ron to the sugar dating website, but they banned her for violating the terms and conditions by accepting money for sex. To warn other women, Chandler went to the press. Katie Rosman, a features reporter at the New York Times, ran the story. I felt like there were issues of consent involved. What it means to say yes, I really felt like this fell into a grey area that wasn't being talked about, because women are afraid to come forward. You spoke to the sugar daddy, what did he say? He remembered meeting these two women in a hotel room in Brooklyn, but that he didn't remember ever promising to give them money. I said, "Well, why are you on a website about sugar dating "if there's not going to be some financial component?" And he really didn't have an answer. I said, "Well, why did you say you were an investment banker, "when you're not an investment banker?" And he said, "Because I thought it would be a good way to meet "a girl and get somebody to have sex with me." By not paying, what we had was a married father who cheated on his wife and hadn't broken the law. After the article published, I heard from a number of women who told me that they had had the exact same thing happen to them with the exact same man. He had refined this technique over the years, so Chandler wasn't just some dummy who got hoodwinked, she was someone who fell victim to a predator. Katie then ran a follow-up article revealing the true identity of the sexual predator as Imran Khan, a 36-year-old graduate student at New York University's Center for Urban Science and Progress in Brooklyn... ..just a minute's walk away from Jay St-MetroTech subway. His university is literally walking distance away. He was meeting these girls in the daytime. Was he just popping out on his lunch break, having sex with these girls, knowing that he wasn't going to pay them, and then just walking back into class? After the New York Times article was published, more than a dozen women with similar stories reached out to Chandler. Imran Khan had used sugar dating website Seeking Arrangement to meet most of them. In the article, a spokesperson from the website said that Imran's IP address was blocked, and he was banned from using their website. But two months later, he struck again, tricking at least three women in three days... ..this time using the name Ty. The women were too afraid to speak openly, but one of them did give me Imran's number. Back at my hotel room, I give him a call to see if he'll agree to an interview. No answer. PHONE CHIMES Oh, my God. Fuck. He's messaged. He just wants to know who it is. He wants to know who I am, but he's still existing, he's still around. He's text again. He's just put, "I don't know any Tiffany." I feel sick, cos I think he just thinks I'm another girl that he is going to do this with. That's what he's thinking. He genuinely just thinks I'm a girl he's probably met online. PHONE RINGS Later that night, Imran called me. Hello, is that Imran? Your name came up in a New York Times article, and I just wanted to speak to you about sugar dating. Oh, you are not familiar with the New York Times article? Yeah, so sugar dating. Well, it would be better if we could meet up in person, and then we could talk about it. He hung up. He's like so friendly and high-pitched. Like, "Hi! This is Ty. Hi!" Like, so normal and nice. Not even like, "Why have you got my number? "Why are you ringing me?" I would expect that, like, anger, just, "Think you've got the wrong number. "Oh, no, I don't know anything about that." Just so calm, it's scary. That's exactly what Chandler said, and I get it now. We eventually tracked down Imran Khan. He says he didn't speak to me on the phone, and is not aware of anyone called Ty. He said sex with Chandler was consensual, and denied offering to pay her any money. We asked him about the other women with similar complaints, and he said he was unaware of this. He also said he had not been active on any sugar dating sites for some time. The man who claims to have 20 million subscribers and is behind the world's biggest sugar dating website has agreed to speak to me. It was his website that Imran used to contact Chandler and the other girls I spoke to. I'm about to meet Brandon Wade, who is the CEO of Seeking Arrangement. In interviews, Brandon says that the reason that he set up Seeking Arrangement is because when he was younger, he struggled to find a girlfriend, and he said to his mum, "I can't get "a girl." And she said, "Well, just focus on your studies, and make "sure you're rich and successful, and then the girls will come." Brandon listened to his mum, and is reputed to have made a cool 35 million from a string of controversial sugar dating sites, like MissTravel, WhatsYourPrice, OpenMinded, and of course, Seeking Arrangement. He also claims to be the site's number one sugar daddy, and lives in a wealthy suburb on the outskirts of Las Vegas. Before I speak to him about Chandler and Imran, I want to see how a rich sugar daddy lives. Hi, I'm Tiffany. Nice to meet you. Thank you for the long trip here. I know, thank you for letting me into your home. It's massive. When I throw parties or get-togethers, this is where people usually hang out. Oh, so you have a lot of parties here? Yeah, I do. I've hosted events where a bunch of girls, sugar babies, sort of come here and hang out. Oh! So do you all get in the pool? I do, not at this time of the year, it's really cold. But this entire sort of door sort of slides open. Let me continue the tour, shall we? OK, yeah. Yeah. You have to tell me about this picture. This is a picture that was given to me by my best friend. Right. He understands the way to encapsulate what the sugar lifestyle really stands for. I think a lot of sugar babies desire name brand products, specifically luxurious brands such as Chanel. Very nice. Where is all the stuff? It's so empty. Yes. Is that the look you are going for? Like a show home? I like as little clutter as I can sort of manage. Right. The minimalist concept is so attractive to me. The more things you acquire, the more you get stressed out by them. Not if it's a Chanel bag, though. Not really, yeah. Those are allowed. If that makes you feel good, then that's a separate issue. And this is our bathroom. Lovely. You love these open bathtubs, don't you? Yeah, yeah. They're big soaking tubs that can fit at least two people. We've actually had four people in there before. Four people got in this tub? Yeah. Like, adults? I think so. Adults. What? Brandon! For the past year, 48-year-old Brandon has been living with his 22-year-old girlfriend Zoey. Are you going somewhere tonight? Yeah, the Gwen Stefani concert. It's kind of like a company event type of thing. So you met Brandon through a friend who was using the website? A lot of my friends actually have profiles and like to use the site. One girl, I think, two years ago went to the Oscars, one of my good friends, because of a guy she met on the website, so after that, all of us were like, "Oh, my God!" You know, we all, like, made profiles like that night. You know, I was really excited about it. I guess I found her before she could progress any further along that path. Lucky me. So, Zoey, would you see yourself as a sugar baby? I don't see myself as a sugar baby. For somehow if he was to lose all of his money, I'm so deep in this relationship and so in love with him now, that I wouldn't just like leave and I feel like that is kind of what, you know, a sugar baby may do. Do you get a monthly allowance? I don't get a monthly allowance, but do you want to kind of elaborate on this? Well, she gets a lot, so I don't want to make it sound like she gets nothing. She has a credit card that she uses for, obviously, everything that she wants. She also has most of the things paid for, in terms of every time we travel or we go out to eat, I pay for everything. And of course all the gifts that she gets. But in addition to that, what I've done, is I've actually instead of giving her an allowance, I've actually put money in her savings account every time we hit a specific milestone in our relationship, because I want her to feel secure that if this relationship doesn't work out, that she has the resources to be able to leave if she wants. And that's one of the key points that a lot of sugar babies have sort of commented to me on the website is that because they're dating a lot of these older guys, they feel dependent on them to the point where they can never leave because they are constantly dependent on their support. And I don't want, I don't ever want that to happen between us. Do you still have sugar babies now? Zoey is my main partner and my girlfriend. I do see girls here and there once in a while if I ever get bored. So, if you were to define your relationship then, your set-up, it would be, what? I would say that I am polyamorous, and I have to be honest with the people that I meet of my nature, and they can judge for themselves as to whether they like me for who I am. Zoey is your only girlfriend, but you see other girls? Yeah, and I would term those other girls as sugar babies, right. And when you see the other girls, what is that like? Most of the time, it's simply dinner. OK. And, you know... So you're not intimate? I'm usually not intimate, because my tastes are extremely high, just look at Zoey. People have to measure up, and it's not always easy to measure up. While you've been together, you have been intimate with other sugar babies? Yes, I have. OK, and Zoey, you're OK with that? Yeah, I am. I'm just a very non-jealous person. And do you do the same? Meet other guys, intimately? No, because I'm naturally monogamous, I have no, like, desire to meet, you know, to... Any romance with any other guy. So what would happen if Zoey wanted to do the same? Would you be comfortable with that? Um, that would depend. We're thinking of having kids later this year. Oh, OK. So I would probably not be OK with that. OK. Yeah. Well, he wouldn't be OK with that, but it's not like it would be a deal-breaker. I think once we get to that bridge, we shall cross it then. I just want it to be kind of clear that if it was a thing, like, you know, we're in kind of a deep enough relationship, that I feel like it wouldn't dismiss everything that we have. Brandon has been married three times. He has said in previous interviews that 40% of the sugar daddies using his website are married. Well, thank you so much for coming. Thank you for letting me in your home. I will see you tomorrow, see you tomorrow at the office. Yes, take care. As long as they're open with their wives, he calls it ethical cheating. He's obviously really wealthy, and to hear that his home is 4.5 million, he's so rich. But while we were walking around his house, and he was showing me all the nice things he has and the way he lives his life, all I could think about were the sugar babies I've spoken to, like Chandler, who have been scammed and exploited. It's time to check in with my fake sugar baby profile. As 18-year-old Adriana, I've received over 80 messages. "Looking for a hot young sugar baby." "Each meeting 500 to 800 gift for you..." "Hi, I've recently finished my previous long-term arrangement "and supporting her through Uni..." "Hi, London Girl, you sound to be just what I'm looking for, "young, exotic, slim, and petite." 55! I'm 18 on this website. Before I can start messaging sugar daddies, I have to agree with the website's rules which state I'm not allowed to receive money for one-off dates, known as pay-per-meets. So I'm going to write back and say hi, tell me more. Message back. There are literally people living on here. "I'm 49, so you'd have to be attracted to an older man, "and be very open minded and a pleaser." Oh, my gosh. The sugar daddy suggests we chat off the website. I'm going to give my number and see what they have to say. Within minutes, he contacts me on WhatsApp. PHONE CHIMES "I'm looking for a girl I can get to know and become friends with. "That's important for me. "I'd like to meet them three to four times a month, and we can spend time "together with a few hours of intimacy. Kiss." Interesting. Define intimacy. He's typing. He's so quick. Oh, my God. No, he just spelt it out. He's just said, "Fucking in all its varied forms." Can't be more specific than that, can you? Not even sex, like literally fucking. That is... I'm going to text back and say, "What's the arrangement?" It's not long before he's asking me to break the rules. "To begin with, as we get to know each other, "are you OK with a pay-per-meet arrangement? "I would suggest 150." Which is what he's done in previous arrangements. Look how easy it is. There is a website that just opens them up to so many young girls. He wouldn't be able to rock up at a university and stand there cos it would look creepy if a 50-, 60-year-old man was hanging outside the gates of a university campus, but because it's online, you can just browse and just choose. It just feels wrong. None of the websites I looked at allowed pay-per-meets, and this policy keeps them within the law. Hi. Hi, welcome. Brandon's office is this way. This morning, I have the opportunity to ask Brandon some difficult questions. Hi, Brandon. How are you? Nice to see you again. Nice to see you again. You put out, a couple days ago, a press release which said that nearly half a million UK students have signed up as sugar babies, and the average they receive is around 3,000. Do you know how many sugar babies receive that amount? Um, we don't exactly know. I think the way we tabulate that is through a survey, as well as through what people put down on their profiles in terms of what they are looking for, and, of course, you know, that's how we come up with a number. Can you accept that potentially there are students who would be financially desperate, and then turn to your website? Nowhere on the website are we telling people, "Hey, if you're "desperate, please come and sign up, this is the place for you." In fact, we present an image that is one of luxury. You know, the fact is the site certainly works. If not, why are these college students signing up in droves year on year, and the number's only increasing. And do you think sugar babies are having pay-per-meet arrangements? That's just another short-term, short form for, perhaps, escorting. Because what you're doing is you are paying somebody to spend time with them. That is, in our mind, escorting, and that's not permitted on our website. All of the sugar babies that I've spoken to say they do pay-per-meets. Do you accept that you are facilitating sex for money on your website? No, absolutely not! And that's the problem, right, because any dating website, you're going to find that aspect to it. I have pictures upon pictures on my phone of Tinder screenshots and Bumble screenshots where the women were or are clearly soliciting sex for money, but is that the intent of Tinder or Bumble? No. I wanted to talk to you about one specific case that was in the New York Times. Katie Rosman spoke to Chandler, she was using your site, and she met up with a sugar daddy in New York, and he asked her to bring a friend, and said that he would pay them for sex, and then they had sex, and he didn't pay them. Well, what can I say about a situation like that? Well, don't meet a guy and be paying for sex. I mean, just don't do it. So it's her own fault. I mean, that's all I can say, right? Never do that. I mean, you agreed to the terms of use on the website - to never accept money for sex, then why are you doing that in the first place? He's offering her 1,000, 2,000 to her and her friends. That's really appealing. Well, that is appealing, but Chandler should know that there are tonnes of escort agencies and madams in New York City willing to set her up on 5,000 dates where she can have sex and be guaranteed payment. Go do that. Why is she even on our website? I mean, to call herself a sugar baby is simply destroying my community. I don't want people like that on my website. If you want to be a prostitute, go freaking be a prostitute. You will get paid that way. Just don't pretend and be a sugar baby, because a sugar baby is not a prostitute. But you are saying that the girls are breaking the rules... Exactly! Isn't the responsibility with the guys as well? Both people are breaking the rules, and again, you're asking me about, "Oh, these girls are so desperate and they're so dumb, "they need to be taught." They're in college! They passed the college entrance exam. That's quite a bit of education, don't you think, to know what is right and wrong? Chandler reported Imran, and in October last year, you said that he was blocked, and then he actually went on the website a couple of months later and did the same thing to another girl. You know, the guys are smart too, and people are smart, right? Because if you are banned from a website, what can you do? Go get a new phone, cancel your credit card, get a new credit card, there are ways around the system. My concern is, are you doing enough to protect sugar babies and sugar daddies? Yeah, I think after this interview, I'm going to call my lawyer and file a lawsuit against him. So, we'll start with that and then we'll fix our process, and then we'll compile a list of these complete users who have been banned off the website that keep coming back, and we will begin to take more legal action against them. So that is what we will start doing. I get your point. Very nice. Very nice. Seeking Arrangement is attempting to sue Imran Khan for continuously violating the site's terms and conditions, but they are yet to track him down. Thank you so much again for meeting me. Well, thank you again. Have a safe flight. Take care. Bye-bye. Further investigation revealed Khan had already been kicked off the site 14 times. It's believed he's not been active on the website since January 2019. Back in London, and my sugar baby inboxes have over 250 messages. I've had a message from a guy called Jim. He said he wants to meet at least twice a month in a London hotel for some intimate fun, and he'll pay me 250. He contacted me via Sugardaddy.com, another site that does not allow pay-per-meets. Like many of the men on sugar dating websites, 48-year-old Jim has very few details on his profile. He's asked to meet me tomorrow in a London hotel, and I have no idea what he looks like. I asked for a picture, but he wouldn't send me one. PHONE RINGING But he is happy to speak on the phone. Hello? Hi, how are you? I'm good, thanks. Thanks for calling. Yes. Um, do you think we could meet possibly, like, downstairs first and just have a chat? Take care. Bye. He's like, "can we go straight to the room?" I have to say no, I want to talk to you first. I don't even know what he looks like. Imagine meeting someone in a room and don't even know what they look like, and then potentially be intimate with that person. I'm really shocked at how direct these guys are with asking me for sex for money. On the websites, it says this is an arrangement, and you get to have chemistry with someone, you'll connect with them, they will provide you mentorship, but essentially what is happening is I feel like I've entered the world of sex work, and it's through sugar dating websites. I'm a bit nervous, now, about tomorrow. It's really well concealed. Nobody ever thinks you have a hidden camera on. Yeah. So you are turned on now. Jim has booked a room in a central London hotel. He has no idea I will be secretly filming. Thank you. I'm sorry about yesterday, cos I was like, "Oh, I just wanted "to see, like, a picture." So I was, like, asking for, like, pictures, but you can't send them. Is that cos of your job and stuff or like married? You're not married, are you? Oh, OK. Outside? Yeah, yeah, OK cool. Should we sit here? Oh, thank you. Being with someone younger or anything like that, is it better? Yeah. So, am I like the first for you or not? Oh, OK. Maybe in a minute, I just need... I'm still a bit nervous. I'm just nervous about what will happen and stuff like that, like in the room and stuff, that's why I'm just wanting to know. OK. OK. OK. So then, it's, like, sex? OK. And then... Then you, like, I get paid as well? I'm just trying to get my head around it, really, cos it's kind of normal on that website, cos a lot of them are, like, messaging for, like, to meet and stuff. Is it really? I'm just going to take a minute. I'm just going to go to the loo. Is that OK? You're going to wait out here, yeah? OK, cool. I'll just be a sec. I'm surprised at how vulnerable and intimidated this situation is making me feel. I'm struggling to get out of the situation. So I didn't realise how difficult it is, because he's so nice and friendly, and he's not creepy, so it makes it harder to try and leave cos I feel bad, because I feel like he spent money on the hotel and he's so friendly and nice, and he's like, "Should we go now?" And I'm struggling to say, "No, I'm so sorry, I can't do it." And he's been up front with me that he wants sex, so now I have to go back and say, "I'm so sorry, I can't do this", and I'm scared. So, uh, I'm just going to be like... I'm just like, I should have said it then, but I didn't. Hey. Oh, my God. I feel so bad, but I don't think I can do it. But I'll pay for the room or whatever. OK. Thank you so much. I will let you know. Yeah. OK. Thank you. Take care. Bye. Jim didn't give much away, but he was clear about why he uses sugar dating websites. He just told me that the majority of people on sugar daddy websites are there for sex. That means that this platform has become a place for older men to pay young girls for sex. When I started making this documentary, I wanted to understand how different sugar dating is to escorting and prostitution. I personally think sugar dating is sex work. I don't think there's any other way of saying it. My experience of being on these websites, the majority of men on there want sex of some form. Whether they sugar-coat it in an arrangement, but the majority aren't even sugar-coating it. The majority are just saying, "I want to have sex with you for money." I have to say what it is. I would never judge anyone for sugar dating, but from what I've seen, few sugar babies live a luxury lifestyle, and there is a darker side with risks that should be taken seriously. |
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