STORY ABOUT 7 DEADLY SINS
GREED
Dear Diego,
this is a tragic story about a
boy living in a tragic country.
Somewhere in the mountainous
Balkans...
This is the river Sava.
This, over there...
I've kissed a girl there
for the first time,
she dumped me soon
after the first cramps.
And that shot that
put you in the God's lap.
Where the rest of us,
simple and sad...
...will never be.
Dear Armando,
my name is Bojan Maric,
I look like an ordinary guy...
...but unfortunately,
that's not true. - Fuck!
Why are you laughing, jerk?!
Let's do it again!
I know you too have broken
your leg in Barcelona,
and you know how hard it is
when you're disabled.
T-shirt looks great
...Just imagine...
...when it lasts
for 17 years!
You should take the hat off.
I think this is genial!
Here, my dear Diego,
I made my first,
and by the look of it,
my last football steps.
Yeah! - Sorry, Diego!
You are coming close to me.
Closer, closer... it's there.
Stop! Just don't get out
of my zoom, ok? - Ok.
Let's start.
There's a cure for my vicious
disease at the Moscow clinic.
A team of experts led by
the famous professor P...
Prokofiev! ...Prokofiev!
They perform surgeries which
guarantee complete recovery
in 90 percent of the cases.
And all that would be
so lovely,
if I had enough money
for that operation.
Situation in Serbia is similar,
maybe even worse... - Worse!
...than in Argentina. For us,
Just stay in the zoom.
Keboya, bro! - Yeah, bro?
- I've been thinking...
Never mind. - C'mon, tell me!
- Never mind, forget it! - Speak!
What's 15 grand to Maradona?
He got loaded in Barsa,
he slottered Napoli,
destroyed Seville!
He's worth millions, bro!
- But he was spending a lot.
What? Where?! - He spent it
on cocaine, women, alcohol!
C'mon! Everything in Argentina
is free for him.
He spends summers at Fidel's,
and winters with Kusturica!
Let's not fuck around!
- Should we ask him for 16 Gs?
Keboya, 20 grand! - C'mon, man!
- 20 grand, bro, just like that!
Hello?
Bro, I'm sleeping...
Wait a second.
It's 4 a.m.! Are you insane?!
Who's calling at this hour?
- Radule. He'll drop by.
Now? - Yeah, mom.
We have to work!
Work? - Yes, mom! Now!
- At 4 a.m.?! - Yes!
What do you want from me?!
When I'm not working,
you're bitching, when I am,
you're bitching again!
What do you want?!
- God, save this poor mother!
No, bro! - You're absolutely
right. - Of course I'm right!
- Of course it's nothing!
We'll buy a Golf each, and
then I'll have to borrow
for registration!
- How much should we ask for?
My dear Diego, 30 grand
is nothing for you.
And it means a world to me.
My health... - C'mon, bro!
What's with you!
Come here! I've been thinking.
- What's up? - Golf is a Golf.
But Mercedes... We should
ask for 35 grand, ok?
Keboya, bro...
I think you are awesome!
Who did your hair?
I did it myself. Why?
- It's great, man! Really.
Come here! It looks fantastic
on you! Excellent!
And how much money did you
ask from him? - 40 grand.
What?! - 40,000 Euros. Why?
- Are you fucking insane?
You think it's a lot?
- It's not enough, my son!
You think? - Of course!
He's Mr. Nice Guy!
He'll give everything to
the poor. - 40 grand, my God!
He's gonna think you're
jerking his chain!
You can't go to Russia without
Are you insane! Fuck!
- Why haven't you asked Beckham?
C'mon! He's English,
he's cheap.
He'll rather die,
than give us any money.
You're a blast! Where did you
find Beckham?!
- And
with treatment expenses,
and residence costs in Moscow
it comes to one hundred...
...and twenty... five...
...and a half thousand
dollars! American! - Stop!
You are a doll!
I want you to be a little more
decisive! Give it to me.
And ask for 130 grand, ok?
- Ok. - Let's do it again.
Don't you see that we almost
fucked this up?
- It's nothing. - Way too little.
I've been calculating. Two
Mercedes' are 90 grand.
This is for technical things,
amortization and that shit...
What's this? - This is for
my water heater. - Heater?!
And what's this? - Just a little
something for my mom.
Look now... - And my mom?
- Excellent! Bro, your mom!
Another grand. We're left
with 60 grand, give or take 5.
Let's see... 200 grand...
What would you do
if you were Maradona,
and some kid was asking for 200
grand for an operation?
Would you have given it
to him? - No. - How come?
I wouldn't, bro! Nobody
gave me anything in life!
That's why you're not Maradona!
And you're rottening with
your folks, like a burnout!
- Yeah, right!
What's this?
- Foreign currency account.
When did you open it?
- Today.
Cool...
- Naturally.
Why are you bringing me
to a construction site, maniac?!
Maniac will build you a house!
- C'mon... - Work well, man!
All this will be ours one day.
and here a nursery.
I hate kids! - You learn to
love them. Look at the view!
Can you see it? It's all
ours, don't you get it?!
I'm not so sure...
- What's wrong?
Keboya, bro! You're great!
You are a genius!
But I think I'll do better
as Maradona. You are awesome!
But you're missing something
deep. - You look like him?
No, but listen! You don't have
that sadness in your eyes.
Bro... We'll do Colina
with you. - Fuck you!
Don't you get it? You look
exactly like him!
We'll use it to buy a house!
- Stop shitting me!
Dear Diego...
...I have cancer, and I'm
undergoing chemotherapy.
I'm just not so pathetic
like my friend is.
This is the real account that
you should send money to.
Help the real guy.
Excuse me, young lady...
What's the value of the
shipment? - 280,000 Euros!
What's in there?
- Just wait one minute...
Bro... maybe we should ask
for 300 grand?
No! It's over! We did it!
We're sending it! It's over!
You were right, bro!
enough. - Have to keep it real.
We did a great job!
Sergio, you bastard! - That's
Liovisna's fiancee.
But he's two timing her
with Concita,
and that pisses my mom.
Sergio...
We didn't translate it
into Spanish...
Open it!
What the hell are you doing?!
- Shut the fuck up!
Search!
Just to let you know, I've called
the police! - Fuck off!
Look for the fucking
package, bro!
Bro...
After severe heart attack,
Diego Armando Maradona
has been transfered
to the hospital Estavez in
Buenos Aires last night...
Radoje...
ANGER
Tadic! I'm the strongest!
My hands are like hams,
my body is a steel safe!
I have one scar
across my face,
and hundreds on my heart!
I'll bury anyone on my way!
He's a king!
- My dear neighbors!
He's gonna bury him!
- Whom? - Spahija!
He'll destroy him. Smash him.
I'm sorry I'm disturbing your
afternoon rest, fuck!
But I haven't
been taking tranquilizers
for the 3 whole days,
and I'm very crazy!
There is more! Yesterday
Spahija came out of the can!
If somebody sees that fuck,
tell him that Tadija is
waiting for him in the gym!
C'mon, Hare Krishna...
I'm not Hare Krishna!
- Don't tell me!
All of you
living in Gandhi's street
are fucking Indians!
Who was Gandhi? Tell me!
Fucking Indian!
Hare, Hare! Krishna, Krishna!
Gandhi, Gandhi! Hare, Hare!
Hare, Hare! Krishna, Krishna!
Gandhi, Gandhi! Hare, Hare!
And you livin' in Gagarin's
street are cool, right?
Gagarin was the first man
in space, my son!
Russian, Orthodox! He took
a crap on all of you Indians!
Watch out, here comes the
real Orthodox piece of shit,
right out from space!
- Gagarin wasn't Ortodox.
Really? What was he? Hare
Krishna? - Communist!
My father was a comunist too,
and now he's Orthodox, jerk!
Isn't it so, uncle Miki? You
were a comunist, and now
you are Ortodox, right?
- I don't know, my son.
I live in Nehru's street.
- Jesus! Another Indian!
Gandhi wasn't Indian.
Indians live in America,
and Hindus live in India!
Come 'ere,
I'll bust your face!
Tadija, don't!
Bro, do you need some milk?
- Tomorrow!
Today is a fruit day.
Tell me, where do you live?
- In Youth Brigades street.
Yeah! That's it!
My Orthodox darling!
Let me kiss your boob!
Now it's time for
uncle Tadia's rest.
Maybe we'll fuck tomorrow.
Don't get all excited!
It's not a promise.
Tadic! I'm the strongest!
My son! Just one more!
I'll do it myself! - Ok.
Is it true that he was skinny?
- Who? - Tadija.
Yes, son. Skinny like a stick.
Good for nothing.
What the fuck...
Spahija sent him to buy some
cigarettes, he refused.
And Spahija broke his nose.
Then Spahija went down,
and Tadija started going to
the gym. He's been waiting
for this day, for 5 years!
Skinny like a stick...
And now, he's the strongest
in the hood.
I'll be like that one day!
Look, son! You don't get to
be the strongest by exercising.
Yeah? - Chemistry, my son,
chemistry...
But chemistry isn't healthy.
It stays in your organism.
Who gives a fuck! You just
take a crap in the morning,
and it's all gone.
But I'm always taking a crap
in the evening. - How come?
Don't know what to tell you,
s0n.
Something is wrong with you
I must say that I owe
all this... Only to me!
I didn't have any help from
sponsors or... what's it called?
Help from the community!
- Today is your milk day, right?
Is there any chocolate milk?
No?
What about cookies?
- I'm sorry, man! I'm stupid.
Yes, you are! Chocolate milk,
bananas and cookies! Run!
...59,60!
Krishna I've heard you've been
takinga crap in the morning?
Well, yes... - Bro, I'm sorry.
I'm really stupid. - Koki?
You're still here? - No.
- No? - Yes.
And what are you waiting for?
Money? - Nnn... no.
No? - Yes. - Listen, darlin',
if I had money,
I could buy all that myself!
Be inventive, Koviljka!
There's jungle out there!
Krishna, are you mad? - Why?
- Where did you hear that
body builders are taking a crap
in the morning?! - When, then?
When every real champion
does it! In the high noon!
Count! - Bro... Now I don't even
know when to take a crap!
What did you say? - Nothing.
Did you called me,, bro",
or was I imagining things?!
You were imagining...
Listen, we could
never be brothers.
Spahija can be your bro.
He's from Gandhi's street.
He's Indian! Tadija Tadic
is a son of Serbia,
and you are his enemies.
And that's why Tadija Tadic
is gonna take revenge for
Kosovo, Milos Obilic,
Tzar Lazar, and the greatest
of all! Tzarina Milica!
Tadiiic! I'm the strongest!
Koviljka! - Hey, Koviljka!
Sit with us for a while.
- How come you're not in jail?
Me? Why's that?
- Koki's in love, you know...
Really? Who's the guy?
- You know, that body builder.
See, she buys him milk
so he can grow.
Good for you, Koki!
Everything for love, hey?
Love will conquer all!
- You're such jerks!
Wait, Koki!
Have a drink with us!
I hear he wants to beat
Spahija. - Yeah, bro!
He's gonna kill him!
- What are you drinking? - Soda.
And where is it?
What's wrong, little Indians?
Do you use chemistry?
My poor little Krishna...
I drank the whole factory!
Take a break, man!
- Let me be, bro.
I'm burning my fat!
I'm fucking nervous
when I'm fat! I'm mad!
Take some traquilizers, bro!
Don't bark on me!
Like a fucking chivava!
What should I start with?
- With this! I say, milk!
Gallons and gallons of it,
every day! I say, cookies!
I say eggs, potatoes!
And stakes!
And, of course, steroids rule!
That's the best to begin with.
So... I say, steroids!
The mass comes in first,
'cause mass is
the mother of it all!
Being massive is stupid.
Definition rules!
Go, then! And work
on the construction!
You'll be defined! Just like
all those poor guys!
Carry some sacks! - I don't
wanna be like them.
I'll do it nicely, so you can
see every muscle.
Like the Master, over there.
Look at him! There's no fat,
pure muscle,
ligament and tendons.
You want me to tell you who
Bruce Lee was? He was a pussy!
Chinese! Ass! Indian! He should
be smuggling clothes,
and selling shoes for 3 Euros!
- Why are you so pissed?
Hello, countryman! Where's
your mass, fucking cunt!?
You fucking Chinese joke!
That's what he is! A joke!
He was Japanese... - Listen...
Spahija is in the cafe.
And you are telling me now?
Now?!
Ok...
Weeks are passing by,
your weight increases,
muscles get bigger and bigger,
wanting more and more.
And then you surprise them.
By an amino acid shot!
You still increase the weights.
At that time, your dick won't
work. Not for a few weeks.
Fuck it, you have to pay, bro!
Not like that cunt, Bruce Lee.
Taking cocaine and fucking
every night! That's no athlete!
When you realise you would
kick your father's ass
for not saying Good Morning,
you leave the steroids.
You go on food, 10 eggs,
tons of milk, everything.
Then it's time for amphetamins.
You go nights without sleeping,
and you're so fucking strong!
You go to the gym 3 times
a day! Pushing garbage cans
all the way to the river bank
and back. And you fuck
like it's Christmas!
If you have someone to fuck.
If not, just push those cans!
Fuck it!
And then you know you're ready.
When you spend 5 years
in the gym Hell.
When your arms are hams,
and your body a steel safe,
when you kill
with your left hand,
and your right hand
gives you chills...
Then you know that you're
ready to kill Spahija.
Ready to kill fucking Indian
from Gandhi's street.
To bust his nose! Make him
bleed! To brake his nose!
So he could know! What's
it like when everybody's
laughing at you! To cry through
your puberty! Not having a date!
When you're having insomnia!
When, at age of 15,
you're snoring like an
old fart! - So help you God!
Skinny Bones, you grew up?
Now you're Fat Bones.
But you're missing a bone.
Tadic! I'm the strongest!
- You're very big.
But I've heard
your balls got tiny.
And your dick is like a worm.
- I'll kill you!
I've heard you've been waiting
to beat me for 5 years?
I ain't gonna beat you.
I'm gonna kill you!
Fine, Skinny Bones! But first,
show me your dick.
C'mon! - I'll kill you!
I'll kill you, Spahija!
So what if it's small.
Women don't care about
the size. - I'll kill you.
I'll kill ya! - Yeah, right.
Your sister liked it big.
She liked it hard!
She was a real whore,
first class!
She would jump on your cock,
and scream like Dorothy!
Tadija!
LUS
Hi, my name is Marina...
I'm twelve,
I'm in the fifth grade,
I like to draw and write.
My favourite subjects are
history, geography and
literature, of course.
Recently I moved to Blok 70,
New Belgrade,
so I don't have lots
of friends around here.
My dad is a clerk, and my mom
works in the supermarket.
They tell me all the time
that I should have more friends
but I have none.
I would truly like to meet
some friends this way,
with whom I could
spend some time off.
Leave a message, I'm not
available right now...
Hello, my son. I've been
trying to find you all day.
Desa, from the sixth floor have
rented the room to a young,
and they say beautiful lady
doctor, so I've been thinking,
why don't you come
over and meet her?
Obrad, my son! Are you
deliberately avoiding me?
The lady doctor asked about
You...
Hi, I'm Tanja, and I'm 11.
I'm also lonely and unhappy
because I'm in love with Boris
from the sixth grade.
But he loves this Tamara,
which is disgusting by my
opinion!
I would really like to
meet you, as soon as possible.
Hi, Tanja. Great that you
replied. Can't wait to meet you.
To talk about stupid teachers,
boys, parents and stuff.
To drink soda's and eat
pancakes. Hope you like them,
'cause I make great pancakes.
Are you free tomorrow?
Afternoon.
- Afternoon.
How can I help you?
- Excuse me?
Looking for something?
- I must have made a mistake...
Stojcic, sixth floor? - Yes,
that's me. And who might you be?
I'm Tanja's dad.
- Tanja...?
Of course, Tanja's dad!
Yes, Yes...
Me, I'm a dad too. Little...
Yes, I'm Marina's father.
Please, come in. - Thanks.
And where's little Tanja?
- She's near by.
Don't get me wrong, I thought
I should check on you first.
You know, these days...
There are lots of maniacs
around.
I perfectly understand.
As you've said it,
the times now...
And where is...
- Marina? She's here.
I mean not here, she went to
the store to buy some sweets.
Actually some Coca Cola,
for her new friend.
I'm telling her all the time
it's not healthy, but...
You know, kids like kids.
Right, kids like kids.
All of us used to be kids.
We haven't been introduced.
Obrad. - I'm Radoje. Rasha.
Police in Madrid has exposed
a chain of pedophiles
who exchanged photos
and contacted children.
This group of perverts
consisted of many celebrities
and members of Spain
establishment.
Did you hear that?
That's what
I'm talking about.
Shocking! Really shocking.
And how can you dare to let
zour child on the streets...
Talking to me? That's why
I'm at home all day.
You can never be too cautious
having a kid these days.
And the Goverment should do
something as well. - Yes!
School, too.
- Yes, school as well.
I expect Marina soon...
- Yes... little Marina.
And where is your wife?
- Wife?
My wife!
We got divorced.
Long time ago.
But we stayed friends,
because of the kid.
And you? I bet you're
living in a happy marriage.
Not really. My job is demanding
and I'm often out of home.
That reflected our
marriage. We got distant.
And what do you do?
I'm an inspector.
An inspector? - Police inspector.
Juvenille delinqency.
Day and night, you know?
I can imagine...
Your pancakes are great!
I've packed some for little
Tamara. - Tanja!
Yes, Tanja...
My God, I don't know
what happened to Marina.
Hi, it's me. I'm fine, and you?
Listen, did by any
chance Marina stop by?
She did? Yeah...
No, it's fine.
She'll sleep over?
No, I don't mind.
Just tell her she has to do her
homework for tomorrow. Bye...
You've heard it.
Naughty little girl,
she scared me...
- Kids, you know?
It's important that she's ok.
Little Marina...
Well, I have to go. - Ok.
It's a shame that you haven't
met Marina.
Well, we'll have the chance.
Now that we've met...
Hi, neighbor! Can you
fill this with water, please?
What? - In March I'm going
to Kilimanjaro, so...
Son, the lady doctor called.
And imagine, she's divorced,
with kids. And I told her:
My Obrad should have children
of his own, not taking
care of someone else's...
Thanks a lot. Goodbye!
So... There's no Marina?
Right.
There's no Marina, and
of course, there's no wife.
There's nothing.
I'm pedophile.
Disgusting,
Oedipus pedophile.
So, what shall we do now?
Let's cut this torture.
Tell me where to go,
and what to bring...
- How should I know?
Well, you are the inspector.
Yeah.
And I'm
also a pedophile.
Dirty, old pedophile.
May I get that drink now?
And there's no... - Tanja?
No. Just you and me.
Dirty, old pedophiles.
You're staring... - No.
You are!
- Ok, I'm staring.
Here you go. - Thanks.
Did you ever go to see
a shrink? - Why should I?
So that they can tell me that
I'm a pedophile
'cause nobody loved me as a
child, and I've lost my mom?
I know that myself.
Now you're staring. - What?
Have you ever? - What?
- You know...
Basically, I haven't.
With little girls?
- No. I haven't.
Wait a minute. Maybe
you're a homo? - No...
It's funny, these things
with homosexuals.
Only yesterday they were in
hiding, completely illegal.
And now, they are
completely out and cool.
What? You mean, maybe
they'll legalize us too?
Maybe in 30 years...
If the media gave the
right kind of coverage,
and if the parliament...
Radoje!
GLUTTONY
I thought we're going
to the movies.
Yeah, right! Like I want
to throw money on that shit.
What's wrong with this?
It's all the same shit,
movies, exhibitions, culture!
Why are you dressed up like
a prostitute?
I thought we're going to
the movies. - And that's cool?
Come here.
What? - Stand here.
- What's with you, God!
I'm just kidding, darlin'
You'll be the best chick
here! - You, silly...
Am I ok? Ok.
Let's go
Dojcin Tutinac enough to said
Dojcin, why virtual?
Why onomatopoeia?
Let's go to the movies, please!
- We'll have yummiest food here
and all for free. Samir told me
they've been loading all day.
Samir! - Really? - C'mon, my
man! They'll eat the food!
You dressed up for
the occasion!
See a guy from the Parliament!
- You are a legend! You rule!
See a guy from the Parliament!
- You are a legend! You rule!
He couldn't care less.
He came to eat too.
Samir, my bro!
I can't recognize you! - Go, go!
Did you take a crap this
morning? Ha? - Go, go, go!
Did you take a crap this
morning? Ha? - Go, go, go!
Well, how to put it...
People eat. They have to.
Would it be a problem if
I farted? I just have to.
It's simply one digestive
sfumatto, of pulsing contures.
It's simply one digestive
sfumatto, of pulsing contures.
Aesthetic escapism, 'cause of
global consumerism.
Monetary, even staged process.
- Man! You're off to the market?
Why are you pulling me? Why
doesen't he buys a decent bag?
This is culture!
It's not for bums...
Are you talking about
synthesized trend as a brand?
Completely the opposite.
Brand in the form of a trend.
Do you get it? Brand name,
as a nick name.
Do you get it? Brand name,
as a nick name.
Look at this. - What is it?
- Don't know, but it's great.
Fill it up. Gimme some more!
Tastes fucking great!
Bro, what's this? - Punch.
What? - Punch, sir...
Knew that,
just pulling your leg.
Are these eclairs? Or
little princess cakes?
Take one eclair.
It's great.
Fuck me, I'm blind!
It's a new sweat suit!
I'll be back.
Fill it up, with everything.
Come here!
Where are you going?
Wait, don't run.
We're not in a hurry.
Ladies and gentleman, let me
tell you how happy I am
that I've been given this
honour to open this,
especially in this year of
culture, to open this...
especially in this year of
culture, to open this...
Like I usually like to say...
Excuse me, I'm expecting
an important call.
You may, of course! I'm
opening an exhibition here.
You may, of course! I'm
opening an exhibition here.
Wonderful speech! - Really?
That's very interesting.
We could lend that deal.
- Sorry, what's in it?
This one is with spinach,
and you got tuna and mayo.
This one is with spinach,
and you got tuna and mayo.
Mayo... I can't eat that.
But this is special!
- See you later, in a restaurant.
Thanks. Let me rephrase this.
What are we without culture?
And what is culture
without us? - Is he bullshiting?
Like I love to say, we have to
remember the simple man.
Like I love to say, we have to
remember the simple man.
Manifests, or as our
common man likes to call it,
expressive expression of
culture, the answer is simple.
What is culture? - Full pot
of beans, that's culture!
It's ok. The guy has the point.
It's true, young man! Full pot
of beans! That's culture!
It's true, young man! Full pot
of beans! That's culture!
It's true, young man! Full pot
of beans! That's culture!
Stop embarrasing me! - I'm just
saying what's on my mind.
I'll loose my job. Shut up.
- What a job...
We are culture!
I am culture!
We are culture!
I am culture!
Thanks a lot! Cheers!
Call me! Have a good time!
You see?
Better than the movies.
You see?
Better than the movies.
You bet! It's awesome!
- Just fill yourself up!
There's seafood up there.
Take it easy, lady! There's
plenty for everybody!
I love it! Rich and plenty!
Tell me, what's fresh here?
Everything is fresh, sir.
- Spare me the tricks,
Everything is fresh, sir.
- Spare me the tricks,
I've been there, what's fresh?
- Would you like some soup?
Sure, sure... To stir it up.
Loose the hand.
Put some more shells.
Loose the hand.
Put some more shells.
Tell me, bro, are those squids?
Now you're talking!
Can I ask you something?
I can see you're a clever guy.
Do you know where the best
squids are? - No idea, sir...
The best squid are...
On Sundays, behind the mosk!
Did you get it? No?
Ahmed, come here.
- Sorry, man! Really.
Ahmed, come here.
- Sorry, man! Really.
Don't be mad. Do you know
how it made me feel?
I've heard there is some
barbecue. - Where?
Sorry, Ahmed. Don't be mad.
Watch the plate!
I feel sorry for the guy,
he was really nice.
Fuck it! What's that?
- Shut it. It's art.
Fuck it! What's that?
- Shut it. It's art.
I think they're doing this
just to fuck your appetite.
But they don't stand a chance
with me.
But they don't stand a chance
with me.
You can have anything, but
there's nothing like the grill!
Are you insane?
It's not salty at all!
Chief, come here!
Chief, come here!
Can I get some salt?
- Leave that, it's an artwork!
It's not meant to be eaten.
They're not gonna die over
one kebab! - Stay here.
Fucking cheap!
- He's a nice kid.
He's gonna bring some salt.
Look at this freak! He brought
a garbage can, and it's art!
What's wrong, love?
What's wrong, love?
- I feel sick.
Cloaka of the Universe
How can you?
- Why? I'm not ill.
Try some. - I can't, I'm full.
Haven't you puked?
- You're such a pig!
Haven't you puked?
- You're such a pig!
Right, and for a good pig,
All slops are good.
Take it, look at them,
they're like glass.
No way! - Pack it up.
For later. Give me your bag.
Good evening. How did you
like the art works?
Super. Really awesome.
- And what are your favorites?
Well, my favorites are...
Everything.
Everything was really, really...
You know, awesome!
So, you don't think there's
a crisis in avant-garde?
What crisis? It's awesome!
Awesome! - Really awesome.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Come to see this, it's great.
- Let me put this in first.
Look at this!
Bunch of little chickens,
and a big chicken.
Are you my chicken?
Are you gonna give me
a lot of little chickens?
One early morning,
the ruster dad went out!
Then he went into the well,
and wets his feathers down!
Coo-coo, it's a misfortune!
Coo-coo, it's a misfortune!
Coo-coo, it's a misfortune!
Coo-coo, it's a misfortune!
Are you my chicken?
We had a hell of a party.
Are you my chicken?
We had a hell of a party.
Huh, love? - I screwed it up
with my vomitting...
Don't worry, love.
It's all life. And art.
Don't worry, love.
It's all life. And art.
Here's my Man! He's bringing
salt! Is there salt, my Man?
Come with us! - I told you
not to touch me? Are you deaf?
What are you looking at? - Is it
a free country? What's this?
I shit on your art!
Your exhibition sucks!
And your food sucks, too!
Kebabs tasted like shit!
Don't, please! Don't!
Adam is my friend!
Samir, thanks a lot! - Let me
put on my jacket! What's wrong?
What do you want?
Why did you call me?
You fucking bold pussy!
- Let's go! - Let me be!
This is your fuckin' culture!
You're lovely. - Let's go!
Fuck you too!
Here, look at us! - And what
to say in the end?
The exhibition went fine, if
we forget about the incident.
Exhibits,, From woman",
to,, Meat jelly", are missing.
These unique
master pieces made from
human fat taken from
the liposuction clinic,
unfotunately found their way
into the stomach
of some starving
exhibition visitor.
For Cultural Chronics,
I am Iva Mandic.
PRIDE
If I knew you're gonna be like
that, I wouldn't have come!
Stop it, please. - I will make
a scene! - Stop it, please.
Cut the crap. - Try to say that
again and I... - Cut the crap!
I'm gonna leave now. Fuck you
and your fucking quiz!
We're going live.
Good evening to our studio
audience, to our contestants,
and good evening to all of you
watching us on your TV screens.
My name is Milan Slavkovic,
I'm the host of the quiz show
,, Couples get cash",
where married couples try
to win some money and premium
prize of 4 million dinars!
Tonight, our contestants are
Srdjan and Zorica Paunovic,
and they're close to a dream
of winning the prize!
Good evening, Zorica. - Evening.
- Evening, Srdjan. - Evening.
You were great last week.
Great! - Thanks a lot.
Some knowledge, with
a bit of luck... - Luck?!
Such modesty!
Please, applause!
A scholar and a housewife...
Winning combination for this
quiz. Is it same in real life?
I'm not a housewife,
I'm a pharmacist.
That's something I didn't
Know. - Now you do.
Pharmacists and housewife...
- No, no! I'm not a housewife!
I'm a pharmacist! Without
a job, but not a housewife!
Anyway, you have only
three more questions
to get the prize. The prize
is yours, and 4 million dinars!
Of course, you can quit and
take the money right now,
or take a risk and go on.
We'll go on. - Such a courage!
Applause! Applause!
Our heroes from last week,
brilliant, all-knowing Srdjan,
and his pretty half, Zorica
Paunovic. - Vodenilic. - What?
Zorica Vodenilic Paunovic.
That's something I didn't
know. - Now you do.
Great, great, wonderful!
Male-female equality
is something we all plead for.
Please, applause!
And finally, spouses Srdjan
and Zorica Pauno...
...Paunovic Vodenilic, whatever,
are trying to win something
nobody won before, the Grand
Prix and 4 million dinars!
Commercials, please!
You want me to
get up and leave?!
I'm sick of being prettier half
of brilliant Srdjan!
But I know everything.
- Eat shit!
Contestants, ready?
You know the rules, you have
two minutes to answer.
You can quit, ask for help,
you used the jokers last time.
Shall we? Question for
one million dinars.
Rainy, stormy clouds are known
as A. Nimbuses,
B. Cumulonimbuses,C. Stratuses,
and D. Cirruses. Time... now!
Time is passing...
I'm sure it couldn't be
cirruses. - Why's that?
They look so fluffy.
Srdjan, you wanted to say
something? - No, no...
I think it couldn't be
stratuses... - You're sure?
Well... I don't know.
They look so harmless,
like stracciatella ice cream.
Charming Zorica
Vodenilic Paunovic!
Srdjan, what do you think?
- I don't think. I know.
Our final... My final answer
is cumulonimbuses!
Zorica, you can think it
through. - No.
This is the question
for one million, you know?
You could lose everything.
- Yes. - So, cumuloninbuses?
Yes, cumulonimbuses!
Keep your mouth shut as you did
so far.
Zorica has secretly peaked
at her hubby's paper,
and said the final answer B.
- I didn't! I have, but...
There's nothing! He keeps
scrabbling squares! That's all!
Anyway, your answer is,
unfortunately for your opponents
the correct answer!
You won one million dinars!
Seems like I'm doing fine
by myself! - Yes? Be my guest.
Zorica, Zorica... Let's go to
more commercials,
and later we have question
for two million! Commercials!
The appliance for measuring
moisture of the air is called:
A. Gyroscope, B. Terrameter,
C. Hygroscope and D. Aquascope.
Time, now!
All-knowing Srdjan smiles.
You know the answer?
- Naturally...
Well? You're not going to tell
us? - I've got the smart wife.
I can't make up my mind.
It's not gyroscope.
And what is? - Would
you let me concentrate? Thanx.
Do you know? - What?
I want to call help.
While we call Zorica's sister,
let's see more commercials!
Daniela, I'm calling
from the quiz
,, Couples get cash". Would you
help your sister? - Sure.
Listen, kid! Appliance for
measuring moisture of the air
is gyroscope, terrameter,
hygroscope or aquascope?
What's with the man? Silent?
Hey! I'm talking to you!
Offended? You're not the center
of the world? Last time you
didn't let her say a word! Fuck!
- Ok, sis... - It's not ok!
You crazy narcissus! My sister
sacrifised her career for you,
and your stupid tennis!
You miserable prick!
You don't deserve her! - Your
sister has another 10 seconds.
She's going to have 50 years
of great life without him!
Correct answer is C. Hygroscope.
Goodbye! - Zorica? - Hygroscope.
Well, fine. You have won two
million dinars. Commercials!
I'm sorry!
I'm so sorry, Srdjan!
Is everything ok with you two?
- Yes, yes... - It's abomination.
This quiz is being watched all
around the country! It's not ok.
Everything is fine. We'll take
the money and go.
Maybe that's best.
- Srdjan! I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry!!!
And now, back to Zorica
and Srdjan, just a step away
from 4 million dinars!
You used jokers and help,
and have 2 million already.
Do you want to quit?
We quit. - We're proceeding.
Quit or no? - No! We proceed!
- What are you doing?
You might lose all your money.
- Just read the question!
Question, please!
For the fantastic 4 million!
Srdjan, are you by any chance
clairvoyant? - No.
Incredible! Do you know what's
subject of this question?
It's tennis. You see,
luck follows the brave!
Question about tennis,
for an ex tennis instructor.
Incredible!
The question for 4 million is:
What's the real name
of the multiple winner of Grand
Slam championships,
who tragically passed away.
Little Mo was...
I can see on your face that
you know the answer.
Shall I read it all?
Fine. I'll keep on reading.
A. Moreen Connoly,
B. Monique Lavatier, C. Annie
Morgan, D. Maurice Connors.
Time, now!
Srdjan, you know the answer.
I can see it on you. - Sure.
Would you like to share
it with us?
Well... Correct answer is...
I have to remind you that
you have one minute left.
What are you trying to do?
- Do you know the answer?
Please, don't be so defiant.
Srdjan?
No? Ok...
Take the money, please!
We'll discuss it at home.
Maybe you know, Zorica?
- No.
I don't. But I would like to
appologise to my husband
for my sisters behavior.
- 15 seconds left...
What more do you want?
To kill myself in public?
We want to quit! - It's too
late now, you have to answer.
Say something!
- 5, 4,3,2...
Connors. Mourice Connors!
- Yes, yes! But in male tennis!
Sorry your answer is wrong.
No, no, Maureen Connely
I got it all wrong...
It's Maureen Connely!
She died in car crash!
Maureen Connely!
I know all about her!
See you all next week...
- It's Maureen Connely!
When some other couple
will try to win our prize,
the incredible 4 million dinars!
DISPARE IN LAISYNESS
It's 2:10. - So? - You said
they get out at 2, bro.
Well, bro... they get out
at two, everyday.
Why aren't they coming out
now? - How could I know?!
Here, they're going out now.
That's the Loaded family?
- Yeah. - You have everything?
Yeah. - Some tools? - Yeah.
- Did you bring your balls?
Yeah, that too.
Ok, so, let's screw those
architects! - Let's do it!
What's with the apple?
- It's healthy.
What are you? Nutricionist?
- Listen, man.
Thieves should be healthy too.
Are you sure they live there?
- Yeah, I was their courier.
There are no Loaded family.
- Christ!
Loaded, bro, 'cause they are
Loaded. Last name is Tavcar.
C'mon! - Right.
You can't have an ordinary last
name and be an architect.
What's this? - What?
- Elevators are out of service.
Are you kiddin' me?
Cross my heart... - You're
right. So? Let's walk.
You're such a pig.
Which floor, bro? - 23rd.
Are you shitting me? - Cross
my heart and hope to die.
Fuck! 23rd...
Breathe, breathe!
Like you're a Yoga master.
Think about the money,
it'll be easier. - Now, you!
Bro, we said we'll change after
three floors, not two.
What about the mezzanine?
- It's not a floor. - What?!
If it was a floor,
it would be called a floor.
Shush!
And why are there stairs?
Hey, hommie! Excuse me,
is mezzanine a floor or not?
It depends. If you walk, it is,
but if you ride the elevator,
it's not... - Ok, good.
C'mon, c'mon!
Think about Yoga.
Fuckin' cigarettes!
Osmokovic?! What kind of
a family name is that?
I'm sure it's Croatian. - It
can't be! It ends with,, ic".
Pavelic wasn't Serbian.
- To begin with,
Pavelic was Serbian, but he
converted to catholicism.
It's cool. You couldn't
possibly understand.
You are training for something?
C'mon! Look at him!
Man, I'm a thief,
not an athlete!
You forgot something.
Is it hard? - It is.
Isn't there anybody
younger to help you?
No, my boy. - No, huh?
Loneliness is the worst
of all diseases, right?
- Yes, my darlin'.
God bless you, son. - Thanks.
It sucks when you're old.
And poor. - Yeah.
Promise me something. If I grow
old and end up broke,
take something and smash my
head. I don't wanna suffer.
Just another 16... and there
will be a lot of cash, ok?
Yeah, right. I'll see a lot
of cash, but when I die.
This sucks. - What, bro? - Old
woman carryng her groceries.
It's the hood, man. Dirty pigs.
- I know, but the Government
should do something too.
- Yeah, the community!
But you should do something
too. - What, bro? - This, bro.
You do some kind of sports?
- Yes, alpinism.
Do you go all the way
to the top? - Yeah.
I'm excercising for Kilimanjaro.
Could you carry this to the 23rd
floor, man? We're tired.
No problem, give it to me.
- You're a legend! - You'll see.
We're cheering for you!
- It'll be easier now.
Easier, my ass. - C'mon,
we are half way there.
Don't say! We haven't passed
the first half yet!
This is a mission impossible.
- Can you hear this? Come here!
I'm sorry. - Go to Hell!
Why are you torturing him?
- Why not?
What's he doing on the 11 th floor?
- Look! He's a great ant.
You know, if ants were the size
of humans,
they could lift an elephant.
- Can you smell it?
No, really. Somebody's
frying pepers. - Yeah.
I would give everything
for baked peppers now.
C'mon, let's go! -Wait a little.
- Let's go, we're in shape.
Wait! I'm dying. - Why?
- These steps are killing me.
You can get
a heart attack like this.
Fuck money if you die, right?
- And what now?
Don't know. Nothing. Go by
yourself. - To go alone?
Yes, you're a bee. - You lazy
shit! - You're a real ant.
You're bullshiting.
You're just the same as I am.
My heart is beating strangely.
- Mine too. Seriously.
I was sick in school.
Don't you remember?
Are you elevator technicians?
Do we look like technicians?
- Yes you do. Fuckin' workers.
Do you want workers to smash
your cunt, huh?
I can't believe that we look
like dirty workers? - We do.
Sweating here, on the 11 th
floor. Coal miners! I'm a thief!
If I wanted to work hard,
I would go to school,
or get married, or somethin'.
Don't know!
Hey, man! Can you give
us back our bag?
We're not going down!
Lemme tell ya a story. Do you
know who Rockafeller was?
The richest guy in the world.
But he was a bum as a kid,
just like you... and me. Fuck!
His mom gave him an apple,
and he sold it. - His mom?
- No, man! An apple!
And he got 2 apples. But he
didn't eat them, he sold them
to the classmates, you know.
So he buys a sack of apples.
And then? - Nothing.
His old cousin dropped dead,
leaving him a billion dollars.
Do you get the point?
Yeah, it's all for nothing
if you're not lucky. - No!
Actually, yes. You're right.
If you get lucky,
it's gonna be here. Well,
not here, but... You know!
Thanks, man. - What do you
do for a living?
We grow apples.
Golden delishes, bro!
What a shithead.
- He's a cop. A pig...
You'll have a stroke of luck
here. - How come, here?
Right here, darlin'.
C'mon...
Down, by the cillindre.
Be quiet!
There!
Let's go...
Come here, bro! Look at this!
That's your name.
Sima Vasiljevic, fourth grade.
You're bulshittin'!
It's my notebook!
Look at this. What would you
like to be when you grow up?
I would like to be a pilot.
They're wearing sun glasses,
work with pretty ladies
and have lots of money.
My dad says it's important.
That I should be like Rade,
our neighbor. He smuggles
stuff from Singapore.
She crossed that, you see?
- Smuggler...
Most of all, I want to be rich.
Milica... Christ! She fucked us
with all the dictations.
Remember? - Yeah.
And with all the counting.
Remember the songs?
I can hear you, Kondic!
I can hear you well!
C'mon! Take a seat.
Is this the time to come
to the class? - Milica...
Teacher! Is it you?
- And what's the reason now?
The alarm didn't go off?
Your bus was late?
They locked you at home. - She
recognized you, man. - Silence!
Kondic... Everybody take a seat!
Hurry, kids!
C'mon, kids! Silence!
Have we learnt the song
for today? Let's sing it!
Hush, hush hear the sweet gentle
sound, bamboo leaves
just rustling now
night is falling down, falling
down
from the starry summer skies
Teacher...
ENVY
Have you ever fucked
a stewardess?
What are you doing? - Why?
- It's a pigeon, Musa.
A delicate bird. - It spreads
diseases. All I need is typhus!
It's not a rat, man.
- It's worse than a rat!
This one wants to be your pet,
you feed him and everything,
and a month later your nose
drops off. - I fucked it.
Who, man? - The stewardess.
- I thought you fucked the rat.
So? What do you say
about the car?
My poor Mercedes,
look what you've come to.
Bosnian jerk is driving you.
Deimler and Benz are
rolling in their graves.
Did anyone touch it?
- Can I help you?
Did anyone come near to it?
- Not that I know.
Musa, just watch it while
you're here, so help you God.
Me?! Screw you,
you motherfuckin' jerk!
How about 20 kebabs, on the
house! - Yeah, sure, man!
You rule, man!
Musa, bro? What are you
driving? - And you, fuckhead?
What are you driving, jerk?
- I don't wanna fight, man.
We're children from the
capital, and we go on foot.
But look at this!
Fucking Bosnian peasant,
straight from the woods,
yet he drives a Mercedes!
C'mon! Why are you
fucking with us, man?!
Don't know what's with it!
It didn't turn on till now.
Is it stolen? - What?!
Clean as a whistle!
I've got loads of paperwork.
Stolen, he says... Fuck!
SERBIAN HERO
Here are your kebabs.
- This is on me.
My Goga's in labor, so...
- Thanks, Bure! When is she due?
I would say, yesterday.
- Are you expecting a son?
We didn't check.
- Bure didn't wanna know.
As long as it's healthy.
- Do you like the kebabs?
This is excellent. Just...
- What?
Kebabs from Leskovac
are better. - No way! No way!
City of Leskovac has the best
barbecue, I'll admit it.
But kebab from Sarajevo
is... - The king of kebabs!
Wait, Bure! Wait! Really...
Leskovac is better!
What's with you, man?!
Why are you laughing?
King of kebabs!
Bring us some mustard.
- With kebab from Sarajevo!
It's like adding salt to
the wound, man! Jesus!
What's the difference anyway
between kebabs from Sarajevo,
Tuzla or Brcko? - It's
like you tell a Slovenian guy
to make you a Turkish candy.
- C'mon! - It just doesn't work!
Musa, my man!
The man told us thousand times
that you put mustard on kebab
from Banja Luka. Don't be fool!
Fuck it, man! What were you
doing there? Taking a leak?
You got restroom here!
Don't make me tell you!
Listen, man! We were pissing
here, while you were in Bosnia!
And used to take a crap right
there, where your barbecue is.
Just do your job, and let us
take a leak wherever we like!
Ok, man! Don't get so angry.
Fuck me, if this car goes
another 100 km.
What's wrong? - Don't know.
I took Goga to hospital today.
But it sounds funny all day.
- Maybe it's... belt? - Yeah!
What belt? Look at the German
motor, clean like glass.
Maybe some of your countryman
fucked it?
It belonged to an old lady.
- Yeah, right!
With sporting stearing wheel!
Give us 20 kebabs, with onions.
- And two beers. - Right!
I wouldn't care less, except
my Goga's having a child now.
And this car is screwing me!
- When's the time? Today?
I guess so. They gave her
some induction or somethin'
Why didn't you go with her?
- To watch her having a child?!
Did anybody watch my mom,
or my grandmother?
Don't be such a peasant.
Nowdays, it's normal.
Husbands go with the wives.
- Taking photos with the doctor.
Holding hands... - And who's
gonna hold this?
Anyone could rob me in an
instant. Why are you laughing?
You would be the first!
You know, doctor is a nice
guy. He took 500 Euros...
Bure, can you please tell her
to put some ketchup inside?
Fuck you and your ketchup!
Go to fuckin' Mac Donalds!
Can't you see I don't know
where my head is?
Here is Goga... Hello, kitty!
Oh, it's you, auntie!
They took her! She'll be soon?
- Kitty?! Man!
Musa?
Musa, man? - What?!
What's with you, are you
nuts? - Yes, man!
And you're just sitting here,
eating shit.
What should I do, man?
- Look at the Bosnian dude!
He has been married
for five years, made this,
bought a Mercedes, and now
he's going to have a kid!
What about us? Ha?!
What should I do, man?
It's a son! My son! My family
name will live forever!
I have a son! My son!
Guys! This is a reason
for celebration!
What's with you, guys?
Wouldn't you make a toast?
We don't have glasses.
- Fuck glasses! Here! Hey, kid!
Go and buy some crystal
glasses for my men!
Buy 3 sets of glasses!
So that everyone can see
what it means when Bure is
drinkin' with his men!
Listen now...
Hello, auntie? How's my
little dickhead?
I'll take this, you go on
with your work.
Old man! Let's make a toast!
What happened? Bure?
Kid cannot breathe! They've
hooked him to machines!
Fuck this life, man...
Old man!
C'mon! Let's go!
Old man!
Bure, we need 2 more plates of
minced meat... - Call the cab!
It's my fault...
Here, spit me in the face if
I don't sell this tomorrow.
My God... Just save my boy!
And I swear I'll sell it!
Bure, it's not your fault...
- Of course it is!
We just made our nest, but
I got greedy for the money...
She should't have worked!
She should have rested...
Bure, my bro... Everything
will be just fine, you'll see.
God, please! Save my child.
Hush, hush here the sweet gentle
sound, bamboo leaves
just rustling now
here them from my little bed
night is falling down, falling
down
from the starry summer skies
night is still and
lights fading out
stars just shimmer
from above
one can only hear
this sweet sound
of my baby's lullaby
THE END