1
Move your car, you jerk!
What do you want from my life?
- Are you fucking deaf? Move!
- Get out of the way!
You deaf? Look behind you!
You're blocking traffic!
Get off the street!
What do you want me
to do? Tell him!
You dumb idiot!
I'm turning here, you idiot!
Where you from, Oshkosh?
Idiot!
Watch your step.
You're a dumb idiot!
Talking to me?
You are a dumb idiot!
- You talking to me?
- Wally, don't start anything.
The man's got something to say.
Up yours!
I heard that song before.
Anything to get off your chest?
Tell me who you're talking to.
No, say one more word. One more fucking word.
Come on!
- You dumb asshole!
- Hey, nice move!
Come on! You don't show me shit!
Who are you fighting this time?
Wally! Wally, stop it!
Stop it!
Come on. Come on.
Going up. Step up.
Fuck you.
Going down.
Why do you feel you have to pass for someone
with 20/20 vision when you're blind?
I don't feel I have to pass.
You do.
It's a sickness, like if you
were trying to pass for white.
You mean I'm not white?
Oh, sit down.
This is a scandal!
I'm not white?!
Why didn't you tell me before?
You're my own sister!
Sit down, Wally.
Goodness! A lot of
adjustments have to be made.
Cancel the swimming lessons.
What'll the guys at the club say?
I'm not white!
Oh, it feels like it.
Ha, ha. Aah!
Goodness, you're right!
Lord, help me.
Does Dad know?
Twenty dollars across the board on Centipede.
Thank you very much.
Oh, just a minute.
You said that was all.
But I want my 50.
You know how much
you owe that bookie?
I don't want a lecture. Give me my $50.
This is the last $50
to your name, Wally.
I know, but $50, please.
Three minutes until post time.
Three minutes until post time.
And $50 to win on Centipede.
Come on, Centipede!
You can do it!
Come on! Come on!
Come on!
You can do it!
Come on, you bitch!
Who won?
It wasn't Centipede.
Shit!
You shouldn't have quit your job!
The man treated me like I was blind.
So try someone else!
You can't go on like this, Wally.
Get another job.
Mr. Lyons!
What's the matter with me?
Uh...
Mr. Lyons, the fire inspector
wants you to pick up papers.
Much dangerous. Big fire.
You must please sweep up
before you close the shop.
Mr. Huddelston, there's a vicious
rumor going around that I'm deaf.
I don't like it.
It's very humiliating.
Let's try and put a stop to it.
Oh, I feel like such a fool.
That inspector?
Don't worry about him.
He's always coming around
trying to get bribes.
You don't read lips?
They told me you had to read my lips.
I feel like an ass.
Especially on the last Thursday
of every month.
Sorry.
I can't make a left turn.
I'll have to swing around the block.
Whoa. You're not parking anywhere.
Slow down and just pull over
here by the curb.
What are you talking about?
I'm not a baby. I don't need a babysitter.
Just point me
in the right direction.
Point you? Are you crazy?
Yes.
Take your cane or you
won't make it across.
No. Put the cane...
What is...? Put it down.
I can hear, can't I?
All I need is Big Mo.
I want to see this.
Here.
Thank you.
Good luck with the job.
Excuse me, sir.
Nice day, isn't it?
So far, so good.
I'll pick you up
in front of the building.
Remember, wait for the beeps.
Wait for the beeps.
Yeah, wait for the beep.
I will. Thank you.
What?
Would you help me across?
Yeah, uh, take my arm.
Here we go.
Hey, sis, how am I doing?
Great. Just great.
Thank you very much.
You don't have to thank me, sir.
After all, this to me
is just fun.
Like a walk in the park.
Here you are. If you get
in any trouble, just holler.
Can I help you?
I'm here about the ad in the paper.
"Salesman wanted.
Must have sense of humor."
Are you the owner
of the shop, sir?
Who are you talking to?
Oh, there you are. Damn.
Look at that. Contacts again.
See that?
Oh.
I'm looking for Mr. David Lyons.
I'm David Lyons.
Pleased to meet you. Oh, I'm sorry.
I read your ad in the paper
about an lvy League type.
Tall, dark, handsome.
Three out of four ain't bad, right?
You can see I'm nervous.
Really want the job.
But I am a damned good salesman.
I'm David Lyons.
What can I do for you?
Uh-oh. Ooh. Heh.
Are we caught in a time warp here?
Twilight Zone, maybe?
Any Martians here who want to speak to Mr. David Lyons?
Ha, ha. You're a funny guy.
I really like that ad you put in the paper.
"Must have a sense of humor."
Not many people would do that.
I'm your guy.
If you want me, here I am.
Would you tell me what you want.
Three-fifty.
What are you talking about?!
Three hundred, but that's it.
Are you talking to me?
225!
Listen, man, $225 a week.
200. I can't live on less than that.
Who are you talking to?
I'm talking to you, you prick!
What do you say?
Look me in the eye and say that.
I would if I could,
but I can't. I'm blind.
You're blind?
Yes. Now can I have the job?
I had no idea. I'm sorry.
Now you know.
Can I get the job?
You're really blind?
Yes. What are you, fucking deaf?
Yes! I'm fucking deaf!
Deaf?
Yes, I'm deaf.
You really deaf?
I'm really deaf.
How do you know what I'm saying?
I'm reading your lips.
Do you want the job or don't you?
Because I'm blind?
Shove it up your ass, pal.
I don't want no favors.
Then go home! Get out!
Give me some peace of mind.
To hell with blind people!
Just walk out.
That's better.
Now, I believe we agreed on 300.
300 what?
What are we talking about?
Just a minute, hold everything.
Stop the music.
Do you like Harvey Wallbangers?
Harvey who?
Wallbangers. A friend of mine.
I'll introduce you to it later.
Because tonight, my friend,
we celebrate!
Not bad.
Did I hit the board?
No, you hit the wall. It's a lot better.
Three Wallbangers, Wally.
Drink time.
Where's your friend?
Oh, he's coming. Should be here soon.
You're gonna like him.
This is to you, Sally. Sally?
Here.
Oh. And to you, Leslie.
Thanks for buying the drinks.
My pleasure.
What's your friend look like?
I've never seen him,
but he smells real good.
I think he's by the door.
Dave!
Dave, yo!
Hi.
Dave!
Over here!
Hello, I'm here.
Hi.
Dave.
I want you to meet friends
of mine.
This is Sally.
Hi.
How do you do?
Nice to meet you.
And this lovely lady
to my left here, this is Lisa.
Leslie. Hi.
Leslie, hi.
And this is my good friend,
David Lyons.
Wally says you're forming
a business together.
Congratulations.
Wally says what?
Whoa. Let's not talk about that now.
Let's talk about Harvey Wallbanger.
That's who you want me to meet?
Yeah! Bartender.
Hey, asshole.
Who do you think you are?
David Lyons.
You must be Harvey Wallbanger. Wally's told me about you.
Yeah, real comedian.
Get off my jacket!
Listen, asswipe.
You watch yourself or you're gonna be going home early.
I didn't know I was
standing on your jacket.
What are you, the constable?
Who's your girlfriend?
Oh. Heh. I think I heard
my mating call. Stand up.
- I am standing.
- Wait.
I don't think you understand.
My friend...
Is a killer, that's what I am.
A trained killer!
Oh, Special Forces.
When I was in the Corps,
we used to eat you Green Beret pussies for breakfast.
Eat this!
This guy's tough, Wally.
If I hear him, I can hit him.
He'd put a hole through your head.
So you ain't talking now, huh?
Come on, big mouth, say something.
Let's get down.
Come on. Last night
I was out with your sister.
- Okay, butthead.
- Hey!
You're all right, champ.
He's coming.
I'll give you the first hit.
Come on.
He's coming, Wally.
He's coming.
Lower, he's a couple inches
shorter than you.
- Aim for 12 o'clock.
- Hit him!
All right.
Okay, let's go. Let's go.
Eleven o'clock!
Ooh!
Circle right. Circle right. Circle right.
And left, left, left. Circle left.
Circle left. And right!
Right, circle right.
Circle left. Left.
Stand still!
Get ready! One o'clock!
Good. Good.
Twelve!
Five to three. I got mixed up!
Argh!
Circle left. Circle left.
Shut up and let him fight.
Move right. Move right.
Get ready!
Hey, I said shut the fuck up!
Wha...?
Read my lips, asshole!
I got that.
Wally.
Dave!
One o'clock!
Son of a bitch!
You little son of a bitch.
You had enough?
Little creep!
How are you doing?
I'm doing great!
We should hang out more often.
Yeah, it's nice to unwind
after work.
Does that mean I get the job?
Depends on how this fight
comes out.
So I bought this big bottle
of champagne.
Must've cost 45 bucks.
I asked my sister to drop
me off at Jones Beach.
I sat myself down in the sand,
started drinking,
and sneaking peeks to see
if people was watching me cry.
Then I realized it didn't matter,
because I couldn't see them anyway.
That's when I made a decision.
I wasn't gonna piss my life away
because of anger.
That's when I decided,
blind or not blind,
I was gonna be the same lovable
asshole I've always been.
You haven't made that
decision yet, have you?
No.
How'd you become an actor
if you're deaf?
I wasn't born deaf.
I got scarlet fever in high school.
I didn't lose all my hearing
until eight years ago.
Why'd you stop acting?
I started missing my cues
when the other actors would turn.
I couldn't see their lips.
They ever catch you?
No, I don't think anyone knew.
I just lost my nerve.
When's the last time you were...?
Sorry, you were eating. What?
Laid!
The last time you were laid!
Too sad.
Next subject, please.
You don't want to know.
So where's your wife?
Cleveland. I haven't seen her
for eight years.
Nice lady?
Very nice.
Wonderful, warm woman.
And then one day,
she turned into this creature
who could sit on the end
of a broomstick
and take off into the air.
She could actually
achieve flight.
Wow. I think I was married
to that lady.
Small world.
Funny thing is,
this didn't happen to her
till just about the same time
I went completely deaf. Coincidence?
Amazing. Who'd believe it?
So, what do you want out of life
before the show's over?
Just not to make a fool out of myself.
That's all you want?
I have this terrible fear
that I'm gonna
make some mistake
and everyone's gonna
stand around and stare at me.
Boy, damn. I wish I had
met you eight years ago.
I can fix all your problems
in 10 seconds.
Ten seconds?
Ten seconds, if you trust me.
You trust me?
Yeah, sure.
Listen.
Hey, you're a good-looking guy.
Thank you.
That's very kind of you.
How's that feel? Good?
Look a little silly to me.
Kind of foolish.
You see?
Life ain't so complicated.
When's the next coming, Ray?
Any second.
That might be the truck coming now.
I gotta go get a screwdriver.
So, uh, the blind guy around?
Hey.
Oh.
Where's the blind guy?
Who do you want?
Kerew. Wally Kerew.
I'm his bookie.
I owe him some money.
Well, he's waiting for a delivery.
He'll be back in a minute.
Where's he, out front?
I'll go find him.
I almost forgot.
I need some, uh...
Some, I don't know...
We're not open yet.
I know. Listen, I need some
of that stuff up there.
My tummy's all kaput.
What is that stuff up there?
The antacids?
Yeah, listen.
What's the difference between
Alka-Seltzer and the one next to it?
Di-Gel?
Yeah. Can you do me a favor.
Would you read it to me?
You want me to read out Di-Gel?
Yeah, my eyes ain't too good.
Just read it, please?
Jesus.
Uh, "Di-Gel contains
calcium carbonate,
an effective antacid.
It is also..."
Where are you going?
Here, take it.
I wasn't trying
to pull anything. Honestly.
You were told to deliver this
from the airport.
I thought I was being tailed.
I thought it was the cops.
I didn't want to bring them near Mr. Sutherland.
Tell him that.
No, you tell him that.
I've got a car out front.
Come on,
I'm dead if I go with you.
You're dead
if you don't go with me.
"...bubbles of gas trapped in the stomach
can cause heartburn,
acid indigestion
and that full, bloated feeling.
And unlike plain antacids,
the simethicone
breaks up gas bubbles rapidly
to relieve fullness and pressure."
I feel like a commercial.
What the hell was that?
Wait a minute.
Wait, my ass!
I thought I heard...
What is this, hide-and-seek?
What? What's this?
Hey. Ooh.
Hello?
Oh, no!
This guy's dead.
Wally, there's a gun here.
Don't touch it.
Move it!
Freeze!
Drop it! I said drop it!
What did he say?
You holding a weapon?
Yes, I am.
Throw it away! Get rid of it!
Stay there!
Freeze!
Don't shoot!
I'll blow your brains out.
Wait.
Shut up!
Please, be gentle.
Let's go.
Wait.
You don't think I had anything to do with this.
He came for Alka-Seltzer.
The man asked me to read him a Di-Gel label.
Can you believe that?
We don't even know the man.
Wally, get the money from the box.
Yeah.
Officer, excuse me,
isn't there some
nice way we can settle this?
Can I get my coat?
- Hang on, we'll get your coats.
- Jesus!
Wally, tell Mr. Huddelston
to lock up for us.
Yeah.
- Open it up.
- You're sick!
Dave?
Dave?
Head down.
- Head down, bring it down.
- Dave?
Watch your leg, watch your leg.
License: One-David-George-x-ray...
All right, let's move out.
You really can't say whether
this mystery woman fired the shot.
No, I can't,
but if she's innocent,
why did she leave
right after the shot was fired?
That makes sense.
Gatlin.
What's the story? I got the
commissioner crawling up my ass.
The whole thing sounds shaky.
The deaf guy, he's not
so sure about the woman.
The blind guy heard the shot,
but can't make an identification.
For chrissakes,
you're feeling too sorry for them.
You're always feeling sorry for people.
That's your trouble.
All right, I'll take care of this.
Oh.
We're gonna quit fucking around
and start talking serious.
You claim there was a woman?
Was there a woman present?
Was there a woman present?
Oh, sorry. You talking to me?
You bet your ass I am.
Was there or wasn't there?
Was there or wasn't there what?
A woman present!
I smelled a woman,
but I didn't see a woman.
What about you, wiseass?
Was there or wasn't there a woman?
What do I have to do?
Take you downstairs to a private room and ask you?
Huh?
He's deaf.
You have to be facing him.
Jesus. All right, no more bullshit!
Was there or wasn't there a woman?
Are you serious?
Yes, I'm goddamn serious.
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?
What is he talking about?
He reads lips. You're talking too fast.
Was there
a woman present?
Yes,
there was
a woman
present.
Why is he talking like that?
Because he's deaf, not stupid.
Can you tell me one goddamn thing about that woman?
Yes. She has the most magnificent legs
I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah, and she smells good too.
All right, that does it.
Don't tell me you didn't
hear anything. He heard it.
Don't tell me you didn't
see anything. He saw it.
Between the two of you,
you saw and heard everything!
Some poor bastard's dead,
so let's start answering some questions here!
Excuse me, captain?
What?
Professor Kasuda.
You'll be interested in what he's gotta say.
Ballistics report.
What do you got?
I think I can prove to a judge
that both of these men had the mens rea.
What the hell is a mens rea?
It's a legal term.
It just means the intention
to commit a crime.
- Okay, come on, let's go.
- Mens rea?
Put the cuffs on.
How could we have gotten mens rea?
- Don't worry.
- Get up.
- Did we take blood?
- Get up!
Will you please rise?
Can you do it without taking blood?
Stupid, he's deaf.
You have to be facing him!
The lab says that gun
was the death weapon.
But we both use condoms.
How's this possible?
I wanna see a lawyer!
I wanna see a doctor.
We found something in the apartment of Mr. Scotto.
Joey Scotto?
Can I have a blood test?
We found your name on a marker
in Mr. Scotto's wallet.
"W. Kerew, $2800. Overdue."
Because I owe him?
I feel sick.
What are you doing?
You owe, he comes to bust your head
and your boyfriend lets him have it.
He is not my boyfriend.
Mens rea?
My God! No!
Checkbook,
knife,
racing forms,
pair of undershorts,
and a ticket...
to El Paso, Texas.
It's not here!
No coin.
I wish I hadn't killed him.
No, no. If you had to, you had to.
Now, we know he had it at the airport.
So he must've made a switch over somewhere.
The man who owns the newsstand, David Lyons.
He was talking with Scotto
when I arrived.
Would he be able
to identify you?
No. He never saw me.
Also, he's deaf.
Deaf?
Deaf.
And the other one is blind.
Blind? Deaf?
What, is this a joke?
No, no joke. I spoke with
the building superintendent.
Well, let's go pay them a visit,
shall we?
Well, they're in jail now.
Well, then let's bail them out.
All right, Mr. Lyons,
I need a nice full-face shot first.
Then we'll get our side shots later.
You ready?
We're here because you owed that sleazeball $2800?
Face forward, please.
I happened to think the Knicks were gonna beat Boston.
They came close.
Tell your friend
to face the front.
Face front.
What do you need a bookie for?
Credit.
Face front.
He was the only one who would
give me credit. Face front.
Will you tell him to hold still,
please?
What?
Hold still.
What's he doing?
Holding still.
Not looking at you, looking at me!
What?
Face the camera.
Perfect. Tell him not to move.
What?
Don't move.
I'm getting fed up with her.
Why is he doing this to me?
I just want him to face the camera.
He's not facing the camera?
No!
That's news to me.
What?
Face the camera.
That's better. Hold it.
She should make up her mind.
Shit!
Shit!
Shit, shit, shit!
Is she saying "shit" or "ship"?
"Shit."
Shit, shit, shit. Charlie, come here.
Yeah, why would she say,
"Ship, ship, ship"?
I need you.
Wouldn't make any sense.
Get him out of here.
I want him out, now!
You're finished.
I'll get you when you're sleeping.
We'll be all right. Once they find
that woman, they'll let us out.
What woman? They're not
looking for no woman.
They got their killers. Us.
We're fucked.
Captain, honestly...
Ow!
- You all right?
- What's wrong with you?
Can't you walk?
Do we have to carry you?
Don't do shit for me.
The man is blind and you
have him handcuffed?
Come on.
For crying out loud.
All right, take the cuffs off him
before he wrecks the goddamn joint.
Don't do me no favors.
Is everybody happy now? Huh?
Are we all friends again?
Come on now, let's go, huh?
Jesus.
Joe. I got Lyons, David.
Kerew, Wallace.
Suspected homicide.
- His lawyers are here.
- Whose?
David Lyons'.
My lawyers?
Oh. You want to check him
for police brutality, lady?
You got as long as it takes
to print him. Get in here.
I know you don't know who we are.
Your right hand, please.
Our law firm represents the building
you have your shop in.
We've been sent to try to arrange bail for you.
Great.
That's a nice surprise.
They can only hold you up to 72 hours
before an arraignment.
But with luck, we'll have you
out of here by 5:00.
We're pushing the "blind and deaf" angle.
We hope you don't mind.
No.
No, we don't mind. Use it.
We'll see you both very soon.
Excuse me, miss,
have we met before?
No, I don't think so.
Are you wearing
Shalimar perfume?
Yes, I am.
You know,
you have a remarkable nose.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
I never knew anyone could be
that beautiful.
The lady's got style.
I'd love to go to sleep
listening to a voice like that.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
The legs.
Yes, I can imagine.
The legs.
The legs. Of course.
It's her!
The killer?
The lady in my shop I was trying
to tell you about? That's her.
The woman is your lawyer?
She's not my lawyer!
Now she's not your lawyer?
That makes sense. Get out.
She's not my lawyer.
That's the lady you want!
How come you couldn't
give me a description?
I only saw her from the rear.
When she came in, I was looking at her face.
She went around just now,
I saw her tush. That's her!
That's the lady you want.
Stop her!
Stop that lady!
With a little luck, we'll have them to ourselves by 5:00.
They seem nice.
So was the chicken I ate last night.
Right now, the police
have us for murder,
or we're bailed out
by the killer.
At least my way we have a chance.
Are you with me?
All right, guys, let's go, huh?
Yes or no?
Yes.
Come on, move these guys. Let's move.
Come on, let's go. We gotta go. I'm sorry.
Come on.
I bet these guys are really gonna enjoy themselves
on Rikers Island, huh?
I bet you learn to speak Spanish
real quick. Won't that be nice?
Ooh.
Heh, heh.
You know, I hear that they make
the greatest kidney fricassee
with pineapple Jell-O.
It's really special.
All right, party time.
- Aah!
- Hey, what the hell!
- Tell me when. Tell me when!
- Now!
Hey! Hey, wait a minute! Grab them!
Open the goddamn door!
What's going on?
Protestors.
Demonstrators? Good.
Go with the flow. Mix in.
Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. Could I have a word with you?
Now that you're released,
how do you feel?
Great.
Do you think you can stop Khomeini?
Not if it's funny.
A good comedy, as you call it,
is worth its weight in gold.
Have you read Norman Cousins
about the immune system?
Hey, baby, come on. Comedy. Ha-ha-ha.
Hey, when is this gonna be on?
I want my sister to tape it.
Uh, thank you.
As you can see, this remains a complicated issue.
How could we lose a blind guy and a deaf guy?
Son of a bitch!
I want these guys. Now!
Calm down. Just calm down.
We'll get them.
Yeah, we better get them.
We better get them.
Careful. Careful.
Turn left.
Wait. Let's try the door.
There's a hole here, Wally.
Put your fingers
right in here. Pull.
There's an alley!
Dave!
I'm right here. I'm right here.
Step down. Step down once.
Follow me. Careful.
There's an alley right here. Careful.
Turn right. Turn right.
Here's another door.
It's open.
Go on in.
Kerew is blind. Repeat, blind.
Lyons, David, 5'10",
Caucasian, blond hair.
Lyons is deaf. Repeat, deaf.
Form barricades. 6th Avenue
to Hudson, Houston to West 4th.
Every available cruiser,
scramble now.
How does someone so beautiful kill somebody?
I don't understand.
Careful. The broken wood
is in front of you.
That's it.
Oh, wait a minute.
Hold my head.
Hold my head.
Okay.
Oh, hold my head.
Thank you. Ah. Ow.
Are you all right?
Thank you very much.
They told me to call back in 10 minutes.
The judge is just getting out of court now.
We can have them
in half an hour.
This way, Wally.
Don't guide me. Don't guide me.
What?
They're looking for
a blind guy and deaf guy.
We gotta get out
of the neighborhood.
You won't make it.
You'll crack your head.
Not if you stamp your feet.
If I what?
Stamp your feet.
I'll follow the sound.
Like this?
Louder.
I can hear the noise.
I'll follow you.
That's good! Now move out!
Jesus.
We gotta find the subway.
I feel ridiculous.
You look fine to me!
I think we should kill them.
We have to.
We don't want them
to identify us.
It's not up to me.
It's up to Sutherland.
If he wants us to kill them,
we'll kill them.
Right now, I just want to get them out of there
and get the coin.
Mr. Kerew?
How did you get out of jail?
Who is it?
It's all right. It's us.
Your lawyers.
Shalimar.
That's right.
Shalimar.
What is Mr. Lyons
doing?
He's going to the bathroom. He's gotta go real bad.
And I told him, if you gotta go,
you gotta go! Go!
Wally?
Yeah, don't worry about me.
You go on without me!
I'll catch up later.
When you gotta go,
you gotta go, you know?
Not everybody can
stand around and wait!
Just go!
Don't worry about me, okay?
I'll catch up with you later!
Do you hear me?
Sure. I hear you fine.
You snuck up on me.
Damn you.
You're close enough now.
You can read my lips.
Yes, I can.
Guess who I ran into today?
Who?
The killers.
The, uh, kidders?
Where did you learn
to lip-read, underwater?
The "killers," Mr. Lyons.
The killers.
May I have the coin, Mr. Kerew?
What coin are we talking about?
They may not know they have it.
Excuse me.
Let's see if I can find it.
I don't know what you're looking for,
but it's a little to the right.
Oh...
Here it is.
Here what is?
It's a rare gold coin, Mr. Kerew.
Very valuable. Mr. Scotto put it in your cigar box
before he passed away.
You mean I've had it
all the time?
Well, now what?
You know how I feel.
Can we go now?
I'll call our employer
and find out.
Say, my man...
Mr. Kerew, not so fast.
I wanted to know,
you make a lot of money in this line of work?
Yes, Mr. Sutherland, we have them both. And the coin.
Well, yes, actually I do.
Okay.
But there's no unions or benefits.
That's right.
What time do you land?
I'll return tomorrow morning
at approximately 8:37.
All right. We'll go to Great Gorge
and we'll wait for your call.
But we have to leave the country
tomorrow morning.
Don't worry, my dear.
Everything's arranged.
All right, Mr. Sutherland.
Goodbye.
Sort of like
a picky person. Ha, ha.
What's it to be?
I'll wait in the car.
No, meet me behind the diner.
Goodbye, Mr. Lyons.
I hope I bump into you again.
I don't think so.
See, I'll be leaving the country
and you'll be dead.
Dead? I thought you
weren't gonna kill us.
Afraid not. Goodbye.
Wait. Wait a second.
Don't we get a last request?
What would you like?
Would you scratch
my nose for me?
You're a very sick woman.
Thank you.
What would you like?
I suppose a fuck
is out of the question.
I'm afraid so.
Goodbye.
Let's go, gentlemen.
We don't know nothing
about no gold coin.
Why do you gotta kill us?
Because you're both witnesses.
I don't understand this.
Why are we making it easier for you?
Why don't you just do it here?
Why in an alley?
Why don't you kill us right here?
Fine.
Big mouth.
Wait. We won't talk.
I promise.
Please, don't do this.
Dave, stop the begging, man.
We gotta go out with dignity.
All I want to know is
what time is it?
Did you say what time is it?
Yes, I did. What time is it?
Your time is up, Mr. Kerew.
If I have to die, I want my friend
to tell me what time it is.
Oh.
What time it is?
It's 3:00.
Not yet. Not yet. It's 12...
Wait. It's 10:00 now.
Wait, 12:00.
Make up your mind!
It's 12:00.
It is not 12:00. It's 11: 15.
It's 12:00. It's 12:00!
It's about time.
Quick! This way. This way.
Careful. Narrow. Narrow.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Other way! Other way!
Hurry, Wally! Hurry, Wally!
Come on, Wally!
- Where we going?
- This way.
What's up?
Get behind this car.
There's a car. Watch your knees.
What's up?
Policemen have set up a barricade.
This is running.
Anybody in it?
This is a squad car.
I know that. Is anyone in it?
I can't do this.
Yes, you can.
My hands are cuffed.
I can't drive.
Who said anything about you?
We gotta get out.
We're not gonna get 10 feet.
Yes, we can. Get in.
Wally, you're gonna
kill somebody.
I got the wheel,
you take the pedals.
You say something?
I got the wheel, you take the pedals.
Oh, no! Forward!
Wally, go forward!
How am I doing?
Watch the road!
If it'll make you feel better.
Left!
Watch out!
Headquarters, this is Barricade 4!
Headquarters, this is Barricade 4!
I hate when that happens.
Are you stupid? You want to die?
Police emergency. Out of the car.
Police? Show me your badge.
This is my badge.
They crashed through in a squad car.
Who the hell was driving?
I think it's the blind guy.
Get in the car! Open that up!
What's up?
Get me down Seventh Avenue right away.
Turn right! Turn right! Stop!
Turn right! Straight ahead.
Left! Right! Straight! Left! Left!
Turn left! Turn left!
Right. Right. To the right.
We're going the wrong way
on a one-way street. A little right.
- Get on the sidewalk!
- Look out!
A little right. A little left.
Right. Turn right!
Where are you going?
These streets are bumpy.
You're driving on the sidewalk!
What the fuck was that?
Aah!
Go on home. Your mother's looking for you.
Get me close.
I'm trying.
Left, left. I said, left!
You said right.
I said, left! A little left! A little left!
Where am I?
Turn right! Right! Right!
Cows! Cows! Cows!
We're in a warehouse,
and you've just hit a cow.
I think you better back up.
Good, good, good.
And stop! Stop!
Go slowly to your left
and try to stay off the sidewalk.
Turn right. Turn right.
I just ripped my good pants.
I can take the wheel now.
Slide over me.
Slide over me.
Wally, I can't... Wally!
Wally!
I can't see. I can't see.
Wally, I can't see.
I can't see either.
Wally, I can't drive
if you don't push the seat back.
I'm stuck.
Push the seat back. Find the lever and push the seat back.
I've got it!
Aah!
What happened?
We had a very close call.
Thank you.
Wally, I can't see.
Move your hands. I can't see.
Okay.
I'll get that son of a bitch now!
Is there somebody
shooting at us?
I didn't hear anything.
Wally! Left!
My nuts!
Left!
You're mashing my nuts! Ah!
Brakes! Wally, put on the brakes!
Where are we?
I think we're floating
towards New Jersey.
No shit. I got relatives in Jersey.
How nice for you.
You could read her lips, right?
Yes, I could.
What did she say?
She said,
"I'll give it to you tomorrow.
We'll go to Grace George in the
morning and wait for your call."
Then she said,
"We have to leave the country tomorrow."
Okay.
We have to find this Grace George
and wait for them to show up.
Are you with me?
Am I with you? Of course.
You've earned my trust, Wally.
You're always
watching out for me.
And you never get me
into trouble.
Sometimes life is
a little boring with you,
but that's a small price to pay
for such a wonderful friendship.
That's a sweet thing you just said.
Do you mean everything
you just said?
I'll tell you exactly how I feel
in just a minute or two.
Right now
I'm a little overwhelmed...
by the stink of the
7000 tons of garbage
that you drove me into!
Is that what it is?
I thought you let one go.
That's why I didn't
say nothing.
That was kind of you.
Thank you.
DISPATCHER
2286, this is Dispatch. What is your location?
2286, please respond. Over.
Can you please hurry?
We have to bury the car.
Oy! Ah!
Je... Jesus!
Be careful, will you?
Take it easy. Take it easy.
I'm doing damn good for a blind man.
What'd you say?
I said, I'm doing damn good for a...
You know what,
I'm getting tired of this deaf shit.
You can't hear anything I say,
even if I scream in your ear?
I don't know. I've never tried it.
Really?
No. It seems crazy, after all these years,
but I've never done that before.
I would like you to.
Go ahead, Wally.
I want you to.
Let's give it a try.
Dave?
I want you to listen to me.
I'm going to try.
Open up them pores, okay?
Be responsive to
what I'm going to say.
I want you to hear me. Okay?!
Shazam!
Can you hear me?!
Oh!
What?!
Wally!
What?
Jesus! I heard something!
Yes!
I heard your voice!
You heard me?
Wally, I heard your voice!
You can hear me, Dave!
What?
You can hear me!
No, schmuck! I'm deaf!
Now do you get it?!
- I'm not a crybaby.
- Hmph! You are a crybaby.
Well, guess what you are.
A blind, egotistical asshole
who denies he can't see shit.
Denies? You're the one
who denies! This is you, right?
"I'm not deaf. I can read lips.
Don't call me a deaf person."
Well, fuck it. I'm blind!
You hear me?
Because some asshole
drunk-drived me into a fire hydrant
and I'm blind for life.
He gets six months'
suspended sentence.
But fuck it. I'm not gonna
worry about him. Fuck him.
You swear a lot.
You're fucking-A right!
Fucking-A! Something bothers you, fuck it.
Your wife leaves you, fuck her.
Boss fires you, fuck him.
Hey, fuck it. Fuck them. Fuck it, right?
You're fucking right!
That's right.
You know that it's a blessing to be able to do that?
You're a lucky guy. I can't do it.
Well, fucking change!
Fuck.
Easy for you to say.
It's not easy for me to say.
I'm blind.
You're blind. But when you walk down the street,
people want to touch you.
When you're deaf, they don't wanna.
They might catch something.
Like you're some kind of leper.
We're being bitter, aren't we?
I accept what I can do
and what I can't do.
I don't think running around
catching vicious, scum killers
is something you and I are the best-equipped people
in the world at doing.
Bullshit! You're an actor.
If you don't tell anyone you're deaf
or I'm blind, we can do anything.
I guarantee it.
You guarantee it?
Right. And if you won't help me, I'll do it fucking alone,
because I don't need you
or anyone else!
Well, okay.
Well, now I get the point.
Excusez-moi, Monsieur Hot-Shit.
I'll just go have a nice hot bath
and a cocktail before dinner.
Wait, Dave.
We ought to cool out a little bit.
Have a nice day.
Just keep our heads.
I figure me and you,
we know a lot. Dave! Ah!
Goddamn it! Dave! Dave!
How in the fuck do you expect me to get out of this shit?!
Dave!
Shit's cold! Come back!
We have to bury the car!
There are steps coming up.
Three steps. And, one.
Oh, no.
Back, back. Back, Wally.
And turn. And one, two, three.
And turn. Very good.
That's lovely. And go. And we go.
Yes, sir, our losers will get...
Hello?
Collect call from Earvin Johnson.
Will you accept the charges?
Yes, operator.
Hi, guess who.
Just tell me you're all right.
I'm great.
I wish you were here with your car.
You could bring lots of money,
a couple of beers if possible, probably cold.
I need a racing form and binoculars.
Where are you?
A little motel on the interstate,
about five miles west
of the George Washington.
Headquarters, this is Steely. Over.
She's going into Room 18.
Now. Now.
That's a hell of a place to park.
She's checked into Room 18.
Where?
Over here. Right here.
Let me have that.
This is the police.
You are surrounded.
All right, jokers, you got 10 seconds
to come out with your hands up.
Ten,
nine,
eight,
seven...
six...
- She said she was 18.
- Five...
four, three...
The county is really cracking down.
Two,
one.
All right, let's go!
Ah.
Goddamn them. Goddamn them.
Take it easy, we'll find them.
Search the entire area.
They gotta be around here someplace.
For chrissakes, how far could
they get? An all-cars alert!
Sergeant Keller, I need every man you can spare
to surround the area
and comb the hills.
Damn those guys.
I'll get them.
I'm gonna get them.
We gotta cover every road.
Your men have to be aware that this
is a number-one-priority manhunt.
Dave, meet my sister, Adele.
Adele, this is my dear friend, David.
How do you do?
How do you do?
There she is. Careful, your knees.
First thing we do is find a phone book.
Look up this lady, "Grace George."
Then we get the coin,
they come look for us and we wait with the police.
There can't be many Grace Georges.
You mean the resort?
No, the person they're
giving the coin to.
Great Gorge is a big resort
in Vernon Valley.
How do you know that?
I almost got married there.
I think David got things
a little mixed up.
What did she say?
She said she thinks
you're an asshole!
I'm sorry, sir. We're fully booked.
You gotta have something.
I'm sorry, we're booked.
Everything is taken by the medical convention.
We have people coming here
from all over the world.
I don't have anything.
What about cancellations?
She doesn't have any rooms?
I don't wanna take my wife to a motel.
We're supposed to hold these
till midnight.
I have a couple from London,
a doctor from Sweden
and a doctor from Germany
who still haven't arrived.
Tell you what, if none of these people show up by 10:00,
I'll let their rooms go.
But you have to wait till 10.
All right. Thank you.
Can we go to the bar?
Yes, of course.
Sorry I couldn't help you.
Hi, I'm blind. Could you show me
where the ladies' room is?
Oh, sure, it's right over...
Oh, pfft, sorry.
I'll show you.
Give me your hand. No, wait.
The other one. Here we go.
Thank you so much.
You're Dr. Johannson
from Sweden.
Johannson from Sweden.
I'm from Sweden.
Can I help you, gentlemen?
I'm from Sweden.
Oh. You must be Dr. Johannson.
Yo, Johannson from Sweden.
I'm a Swede,
and you're a sweetie.
Thank you.
Uh... And you must be?
I'm Dr. Kesselbaum.
Uh, you mean Kesselring?
Kesselring! Right. Heh, heh.
I forget my own name next.
You are one of the most
beautiful women I've ever seen.
There you are.
You move so fast, like a little hummingbird. Just:
You're a little sneaker.
You got wings like Mercury.
You're such a nice...
Oh! There he is again. You're gonna rub it off.
A little lunch you had left over.
Heh-heh-heh.
Here you are.
We thought you might not make it.
You had trouble with your visa?
Then suddenly they accepted
American Express. Go figure!
We don't go home without it,
I'll tell you that.
Oh...
Uh, here, why don't you
fill these out?
Thank you.
Here you are, doctor.
I got mine and you got yours.
We're out of double rooms.
I saved you a suite with two queens.
Well, get them fellas out of there!
We want to get some sleep. Right, doctor?
Here we go. Here's your key.
Thank you. Come, doctor, we gotta get some sleep now.
Make some Z's.
I hope you don't snore.
I'll send you back to Germany.
That's better than Philadelphia.
Good thing the girl
remembered the sister.
Put out an APB
on that convertible.
Where can they be?
They couldn't have gotten far.
Who knows with these guys?
Eh.
I'm telling you,
these guys are getting to me.
Take it easy, Emile.
Take it easy.
Don't those state cops
have anything?
Jesus, I have 28 years on
the force, a wife and five kids.
A blind guy and a deaf guy
are making me look like an asshole.
Now, that's the truth.
Huh?
Sam 1, over.
I think it's them.
Nuts!
What is it?
They just went behind some trees.
There, there! Yes, it's them.
They're going into the building.
- Tell him to hurry. This isn't easy.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Hold it steady.
This isn't easy.
I know where the coin is,
but he's in the room. Get him out.
I'll get him out of there.
You just get the coin.
Adele, wait! I need some money.
I might have to buy somebody.
Whoa. Whoa!
You all right, Dave?
Oh. Trouble.
Hey, give me Room 49, please.
Hurry.
Yes.
What?
I told him I had enough trouble
with two-wheel drive. I hate this.
All right, it's not the end of the world,
it's just an accident.
You're damaged, I'm damaged.
Remove your car from my bumper...
No, he'll kill me.
My husband is an insurance man.
Can you imagine
if I didn't file a claim?
That's not my problem.
I'm in a hurry.
Wait a minute. I got my card here.
Don't get excited. I know I have it.
Oh.
Oops.
Thank you for helping me.
That's okay. That's why we're here.
I must have left my keys
on the dining-room table.
Want me to wait?
No, no, no. I've gotta go to bed.
I had a humungous breakfast.
Made me tired.
I got three postcards and I registered for the bingo.
That's a lot for one day.
Well, you take care of yourself.
You too. Bye-bye.
I'm right here.
Good.
You'll warn me if anyone comes?
I'll yell my head off.
Nobody's gonna come.
Just get the coin.
You sure you put him in 357? Maybe he switched rooms.
No. It's not possible.
Oh, shit.
There are no other rooms, Dr. Cornfeld.
I have nothing to switch to.
Oh, there he is!
Dr. Johannson! Dr. Johannson!
Dr. Johannson! Dr. Johannson!
You! Where have you been, doctor?
I've come to pick you up.
Well, I'm a little bit too heavy for that, my dear.
Did you get lost, Dr. Johannson?
"Yo-hannson." How soon we forget.
The seminar's beginning.
We don't want to start without the main performer.
Great. I'll wait here for him.
When he comes, I'll be down...
Always joking.
I had no idea you were this much fun.
Ugh.
Ah.
Kirgo?
I'd like to introduce our panel,
four eminent specialists in their field:
Dr. Saul Jenner, cardiology.
Dr. Harold Orlow, pathology.
Dr. Rita Bennett, ophthalmology.
And in his first visit to the U.S.,
the eminent Swedish gynecologist,
Dr. Conrad Johannson.
Yo.
Hold it right there.
Get away from that table
or I'll blow your brains out.
Move! Move!
All right, get them up.
Come on. Hands over your head.
Both! Both of them!
You're good.
You're real good.
This is the best relationship
I've had with a woman in eight years.
So long, sweetheart.
Another time,
another place,
we might've had a chance.
You will write, won't you?
Dr. Johannson,
my question is for you.
In your paper on multiple orgasms in geriatric women,
you attribute increased
sexual appetite
to a lactose-restricted diet.
Now, I know you're modest,
but I really must insist on pinning you down here.
Doctor, which exercise would
you find most beneficial
to geriatric sexuality?
Oh, boy.
Well, some of my patients
prefer walking.
Some prefer bicycling.
But for your best results,
to guarantee satisfaction,
most of them like fucking.
You know, punta, punta, punta.
I like it myself.
One in the morning and late at night.
Put everything back in your purse
and you can move your vehicle.
But if he leaves me, what is gonna
happen to me and the twins?
I don't know anybody.
People never treat me as nicely as you do.
I've been extremely rude.
I'm just gonna leave you now.
No, move your car.
Get out of your way.
- It's against my car. Look...
- Kirgo.
Where the hell were you?
Sorry, there was an accident.
This woman rammed into our Spider.
It was all very simple
till she made it very complicated.
Hm.
But why can't you give me numbers?
Why are you being so evasive?
Oh!
- What is it?
- What's wrong?
Shooting pains in my head.
My eyes! Oh, boy, it's a bummer!
I can't see. Take me to my room.
Let me have a look.
Look at what? Don't look!
Get your hands off of me!
Stop acting like a baby.
I'm a doctor. Let me have a peek.
Don't touch that head!
Whatever you do,
don't you touch it.
Who are you, sir?
Fine, thank you.
Now just relax.
Everything's gonna be all right. I'm right here.
Oh, my goodness.
I thought you'd never come.
Do you know what's wrong?
Of course I know what's happened.
This is called "Blindness Hystericus."
Oh, my God.
Sometimes it comes just like that.
How do you treat it?
The left and right brain
are having a fight with each other.
You gotta distract them
for a minute.
Now, Dr. Johannson,
how many fingers am I holding up
in front of your eyes right now?
Three!
Good.
That's pretty good,
considering that he's blind.
Now, doctor, I want you
to just relax. Take it easy,
and you tell me the first thing
that pops into your brain.
Pussy.
It's amazing! This man is cured.
Come on, doctor.
We gotta take a walk,
get the heart pumping.
And then it's gonna be all brand-new.
Come on, doctor.
That's it. Easy.
Where's Adele?
I don't know. She's not in the room.
See, if he gets too excited, it comes right back.
Gently. Take it easy, doctor.
This guy's blind as a bat.
Oh! Watch your step.
What's the matter with you?
You got a Lyons and Kerew
registered here?
I'll check, sir. I'm sorry, we have no one...
One guy's blind, the other's deaf.
I'm sure. I just checked.
If I brought in some pictures, could you identify them?
I'll try.
Do you have a security officer?
Right behind you.
Single file. Single file.
Okay, take it easy. Take it easy.
Excuse me.
Where's the little red Alfa?
They just took off.
Who?
Three of them.
A lady with great legs,
an English guy
and a black woman.
My God. My sister.
Hey, um, the man,
he asked me to give this to you.
"If you wanna see the girl,
bring the coin to the house with a thousand windows."
Route 104.
Is this a joke?
No, that's the Sutherland Estate.
I hope you have an invitation.
Heh-heh-heh. He's got some mean dogs up there.
Dogs?
Yeah, Dobermans. They're killers.
Do you have our keys with you?
Yeah.
Would you do me a favor?
Sure.
If we're not back in 30, call the police.
Police?
New York Police Department.
Ask for Captain Braddock.
And tell him... Sorry, Wally.
Tell him Lyons and Kerew
are at the Sutherland Estate.
The house is all glass, and it's on huge rocks.
- My sister?
- Nothing yet, Wally.
There's a lot of land here.
- There.
- What?
It's a greenhouse. There she is, Wally.
- Is she all right?
- I think so.
And there are the dogs.
Three of them.
Now they're leaving.
They're going.
Looks like they're locking the door.
Now they're going back
to the main house.
She's gonna be all alone
in about two minutes.
You all clear on the plan?
Clear as a bell.
I'm gonna go water the plants,
if you don't mind.
Hey, you sure there's
only three dogs?
I better take a look.
The parking brake has been released.
Yeah, just the three of them.
I don't see what could go wrong.
You hear that, Dave?
Better check the brake!
Whoa! Wally!
Dave?
Wally, I'm in trouble!
Pull out, Dave!
The parking brake
has been released.
Where are you, Dave?
Ah! Whoa! Whoa!
Dave, I can't...
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
The parking brake has...
Dave.
Dave?
Talk to me, Dave.
Dave!
The parking brake
has been released.
Dave! Speak to me!
Dave!
Dave! Talk to me!
The parking brake...
Talk to me, Dave!
I can hear the car, but I can't hear you!
I can't see you, Dave. Unh!
Thank you.
Dave? Dave!
Oh, Dave. My God, Dave,
what have I done this time?
Dave?
Oh, shit! Dave!
Oh!
My God, Dave.
Dave, you say something?
Talk to me.
I can't see your lips.
What are you saying?
Dave, can you see them now?
Yeah.
Heh. There you are.
What are you saying?
I'm saying...
I think it's over.
I didn't just
fuck my life up today.
I dragged my sister into this shit.
Damn near got her killed.
And I hurt you.
I just want to say I'm sorry, Dave.
Don't back out on me, Willy.
Dave, I've been running on fumes
most of my life.
And today I realized for the first time:
I'm full of shit.
Well, that's true.
But this morning,
I threatened to shoot
a naked woman with my erection.
Now, that doesn't happen every day.
That's true.
The man's got a point.
We'll get her out, Wally.
We'll get her out.
I think we're in
over our heads.
Nobody ever thought
we would get this far.
Don't back out on me now.
I can't.
You can.
We can, I promise. We can.
What if we can't?
Fuck it.
Damn you.
I created a monster.
Where's the girl?
In the greenhouse
where they can see her.
Good.
And when can we expect
our two distinguished guests?
They should be arriving
at any moment.
Do they...
have the coin?
Yes, they have the coin.
Wonderful.
What do you think of that?
Lot of trouble over a piece of gold.
I don't know what this is, but it's not gold.
Gold doesn't chip and peel like this.
Doesn't matter, as long as they want it real bad.
Hold on to it in case
anything happens to me.
Nothing's gonna happen to you.
Good. Glad to find that out.
Ready?
Ready.
Okay, Wally.
Start counting.
One...
two, three,
four, five...
- Sixteen, seventeen...
There's a dog. There's a dog!
There's a dog!
Oh!
Ha!
Mmm.
Hey!
No, Dave, no. There's an alarm!
There's an alarm. No, no, no.
No, Dave!
Shh.
So far, so good.
Almost. There.
Now, what's all the fuss about?
Well, I was gonna mention the alarm,
but something else came up.
Who is it?
I was so hoping you'd show up.
Oh, sorry about the flowers.
You like roses, huh?
That's enough, Herman.
It's all right. Just keep your gun pointed on him.
I'll check if he has the coin.
Hands over your head,
Mr. Lyons. Remember?
Turn around.
Careful. You remember
what happened last time.
Ah!
Hit her! Hit her, Dave!
Smack her!
Hit her!
Hit her, Dave! What's...?
Hit her!
Jesus!
I grew up with brothers.
Let's get out of here.
Back up.
You have to run up that log.
I don't have that many brothers.
Oh!
David!
Get out of here!
I don't want to leave you!
Go on, get out of here. Wally's just on top of that hill.
Go on! Get out of here.
Get out!
Jump! Get the police!
Here's the blind one.
Come in, Mr. Kerew.
I'm delighted to see you.
I'm delighted too.
So you're the fat fuck
that runs this show.
Beautifully put, Mr. Kerew.
You're obviously a poet,
a man after my own heart.
The coin?
Yes. It's in my pocket.
May I have it, please?
Why bother with a phony coin?
You're quite right, Mr. Kerew,
it's a phony.
A magnificent phony.
May I have it, please?
Mind telling me what I've been running around
risking my life for?
A superconductor.
A room-temperature
superconductor.
It may be the most valuable
material in this world.
Imagine electric cable
the size of that coin
that could light up
an entire city.
You told me it was a gold coin.
Making it look like a coin
was just a handy way to get it out of Washington
after I'd arranged
to borrow a small sample.
I'm currently pointing
a gun at your head.
Under the circumstances,
you and I should renegotiate our contract, don't you?
Yes, I do.
I agree with you completely.
What would you say to
one third of $8 million?
Would you say that's fair?
I'd say that that's extremely...
What just happened?
I turned out the lights,
just for a moment.
Just long enough
to gain the advantage.
I get the feeling I'm not the only
blind person in this room.
You have great intuition,
Mr. Kerew.
I also suspect you have
excellent hearing, like myself.
A few sounds were all I needed
to lock in on poor Mr. Kirgo.
It's too bad.
I liked him. He was a gentleman.
I can't see,
but I bet you're not crying.
Nor can I see your face,
Mr. Kerew,
yet I can hear you stoop down
to find Kirgo's pistol.
Am I right, sir?
Must I put a bullet
through you to prove it?
Oh, no. You're a gentleman.
Get him.
One murder a day is enough for you.
Get him.
Did I hear something drop,
Mr. Kerew?
Mr. Sutherland?
Perfect timing. Come in, my dear.
I've brought the other one.
Wally.
Are you all right?
You're very quiet, Mr. Kerew.
Suddenly gone shy, have we?
Adele got away.
The police will be here any minute.
You'd better tell me what happened to Mr. Kirgo,
Mr. Sutherland.
Certainly, my dear.
Mr. Kirgo decided
to renegotiate his contract
and he put a pistol to my head.
Eve, we've been associated
for five years.
I want you to know I have no intention of killing you.
So don't be frightened, dear.
And, please,
don't do anything rash.
Oh. No, I wouldn't do that.
You know I trust you, Mr. Sutherland.
But what are your intentions?
To leave the country as soon
as Raoul sets my helicopter down.
I invite you to come along.
Rio can be captivating
this time of year.
Just pick up the gold coin
I believe is on the floor
in front of you.
I don't see it.
Good.
Look in Mr. Kirgo's left hand.
I think he may be holding it for us.
Did you find it, my dear?
Yes.
Yes, I found it.
Would you hand it to me,
please?
May I ask what my share might be?
One...
half of $8 million.
Would you say that's fair?
Yes. Yes, I think that's very fair.
Dave! What's going on?
Dave?
Dave? What just happened?
Mr. Sutherland is no longer
with us.
Dave? Dave!
I'm right here, Wally.
I hear the sirens.
The police will be here soon.
If you drop that pistol now,
you'll probably make license plates
for a couple of years.
I'll even wait for you
if you want.
Thanks. That's real sweet.
But, you see,
you're the ones they're looking for.
Not me.
So if I get on that helicopter with the coin,
I get out of here squeaky clean.
You're too tall for me anyway.
I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to lock you in.
Sorry.
Damn, she smells good.
I hear jail ain't so bad, anyway,
if you like it up the butt.
I'm over here, Wally.
Over where, Dave?
Dave? Dave? Da...
Shit, who the hell I'm talking to?
He can't hear me.
She's running to the helicopter.
Nice air conditioning she made, huh?
You ever want to be in the circus?
No, afraid of heights.
Would you give me your jacket?
What for?
There we go. This should be fun.
Ready?
We're not up high, are we?
No, no, just a few feet
off the ground.
Ready, and go!
I'm ready!
I just knocked over a tree!
You said we wasn't up high!
It's fine.
I'll kill you, you fuck!
You telling me we're not up in the air?
What do you mean we're not up in the air?
Get ready.
You said we wasn't up in the air!
Get ready.
Bomb-bay doors open!
Raoul!
- Raoul! Start it up!
- Get ready to fire one!
And fire one!
Fire two!
What? Hey! What the hell
do you think you're doing?
I don't know, but I learnt this
at the Braille Institute.
They told us to feel around
and see what's happening.
Stop that!
Get your hands off of me!
Hold it! Hold it right there!
I said hold it,
or I'll throw your brains out!
I'll throw this knife through your brain!
Freeze!
Do as I say, or you're a dead man.
Turn around!
Face front!
That's better. Now put
your hands over your head.
Come on, get them up!
Get your hands up!
Oh, you do speak English.
Come on over here.
Get your ass over here.
Quickly, quickly! Slowly.
Slowly!
Come on, come on.
Not now, Wally, I'm busy.
Come on, keep coming,
you funny little turd.
Hey, Tarzan, turn around
and take a look.
When did you guys get here?
I sure was worried about you two.
It's all over.
Oh. Goodbye,
Captain Braddock.
Captain Braddock,
you're a dickhead.
You son of a bitch.
No, no, no, captain.
- I got a surprise for you!
- You can't do that.
Let me go. I know the law.
I get to shoot them.
No, you can't.
What do you mean I can't shoot them?
Captain, we got the real killer.
We got the real killer.
What are you telling me,
I can't shoot them?
No, sir, I'm afraid
you can't. Come on.
We went to all this trouble to catch them,
and now I can't shoot them?
It's time to go.
Come on.
I want to shoot them.
I want to shoot them!
No, no, no. We'll get
a nice hot chocolate.
Why can't I shoot them?
We had a damn good time, didn't we?
Yeah.
Lot of nice memories.
There's something I've been wanting
to do since the day I met you.
That was two days ago.
That's right. That's right.
Well, there's something
I've wanted to give you.
Dave, you don't have
to give me anything.
You're a real nice guy.
But I want to give it to you.
Dave, please, listen to me.
I have a lot of love for you.
Thank you.
So tell me, how does it feel
to be handicapped?
I always wanted
to ask you that.
I'm not handicapped.
I have you.
It's live, it's spontaneous
Anything can happen
Anything can happen
Anything
Anything can happen
On any given night
Anything can happen
When the underdog is hungry
The favorite might fall
With all of the people
Yelling and clapping
Anything can happen
Anything at all
Anything at all
She took me in her bedroom
To show me her computer
She asked me if I liked it
I told her she was cuter
She wasn't that great
But, yo, it was getting kind of late
She talked about her father
Said he never really liked her
She said that she'd been married
To a schizophrenic biker
I thought I'd say goodbye
But then I saw her start to cry
We danced by the light
Of her video screen
She looked me in the eyes
And she said, "Why me?"
On any given night
Anything can happen
When the underdog is hungry
The favorite might fall
With all of the people
Yelling and clapping
Anything can happen
Anything at all
Anything at all
Yeah
Anything can happen
She drove a baby-blue Ferrari
She was all silk and diamonds
Living at the top
No need for social climbing
I asked her for a ride
She said, "Right here by my side"
We went to her place
Overlooking the bay
She said, "There's only one bed
Will that be okay?"
On any given night
Anything can happen
When the underdog is hungry
The favorite might fall
With all of the people
Yelling and clapping
Anything can happen
Anything at all
Anything can happen
Anything can happen