1
To everyone that knew me
and to those who didn't,
this is my last will
and testament.
I have no personal possessions
worth giving,
only my thoughts
and my recollections
I hand to you.
Sometimes in death,
breath is drawn to new life,
and a spirit dies
to be reborn.
Today is the day
of my namesake's reckoning,
and one day, we'll dine
in Valhalla with Odin.
We will again
be one as family,
the way
it was intended to be.
Your son, brother,
and acquaintance,
Magnus Burwood.
May we all become Vikings
after I am gone.
See you in Valhalla.
All right.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Next up, a bizarre story
involving a meth distributor
and a Viking.
We now take you on the scene
with James Warner.
James?
Thank you, Rick.
We are here at the home
of Carlos Ruiz,
an apparent crystal
methamphetamine distributor,
whose home contained
over 12 pounds
of pure crystallized
methamphetamine,
according to police.
Last night,
26-year-old Maxwell Burwood
dressed as a Viking
and broke into Ruiz's home.
Burwood was then
shot and killed
during the altercation.
Ruiz, now in police custody,
says that Burwood
was high on crystal meth
and tried to attack him
with a sword.
A neighbor close by
reported hearing Burwood
screaming vengeance
for his deceased girlfriend,
Jamie Tanner, who was said
to have overdosed
inside Ruiz's home
only weeks earlier.
Maxwell was also known
by his Nordic name
Magnus MacTanner
at an alternative drug rehabili
-
tation center in Iceland.
This story has garnered
a cult following
of local bloggers and
comic book aficionados
similar to Burwood.
Oh, my God.
They gather
outside the Burwood home
hoping for
more information.
Mm.
Hey, Jo.
Oh, shit.
Pete, I totally forgot.
Oh, no.
That's totally cool.
I mean, if you're busy
or something,
I can come back
another time.
It's...
No.
It's just, uh...
Just come in.
There was
this news story.
I got you flowers.
I hope you like daisies.
I went for roses, but then she
said it'd be way too serious,
and then
carnations came up,
but she said
daisies were, like,
really in right now.
I'm sorry I'm early.
I just thought,
you know,
we could hang out a little bit
before if you want.
Hey, you want a drink?
No. That's... That's cool.
It kinda makes me
a little crazy.
Oh, what about
the other night?
That was just...
I kinda needed
to work up the courage
to sorta do,
you know, what we...
did.
...had a big problem
in this neighborhood,
so, you know,
it's really sad
that somebody died,
but it's kinda great
that something
is being done
about it. Maybe...
So do you want to go
get some food?
Because if not,
it's totally fine.
I can...
Um, no, I just... It's...
No, you know what?
It's... It's fine.
I... I think I'm gonna go.
You know
that Viking guy?
Yeah. What about him?
He's my brother.
Really?
Yeah.
I am so sorry, Jo.
I... I don't even know
what to say.
I need to go home.
I need to go home,
right?
That's what you do
after someone dies.
I mean, yeah.
I can't believe I have
to deal with these people.
Who?
Oh, my family.
Do you not like them?
I-It's very complicated.
Do you not have anybody
to go with you?
'Cause I'll totally
go with you if you want.
No. That's really, really,
sweet of you, but I just
I can just go home
and pack a bag,
and we can leave first thing
in the morning.
Not a good idea.
Jo, listen to me.
You just lost somebody.
Right now, you definitely shoul
d
not be by yourself.
Oh, my God.
Car. Car.
Excuse me.
Right here?
Excuse me.
What's your name?
Are you part
of the Burwood family?
Are you an ex-lover
of the Viking murderer?
Sir? Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Pete!
No comment?
Hello?
As you inhale,
I want you to be one
with the Earth.
Drop your petals
to the ground...
and feel their energy
lift you up.
Exhale.
Hi, Dad.
Jo?
Is that you?
It's me.
Johana.
Oh.
Ah, cool.
Who's this?
I've never seen this person
before in my life.
I'm Faye.
But what's
in a name, right?
I... I don't know.
Faye's my nurse.
She helps out
around here.
She used to deliver
my groceries.
I came by one day,
and I said, "Do you
need help, man?"
He was
super stoked about it.
Oh.
Hey, Johana,
did those yuppies
out there bother you?
Uh, yuppies? No.
We hardly noticed.
No. That's...
Okay.
You know,
Faye's the best.
Our meditation sessions
have guided me through
this whole process.
Those people out there,
I block 'em out merely
with the power of my mind.
You're like a monk.
Who're you?
This is Pete.
We're dating.
I... I noticed
that you, um, are
using a cane now.
Why is...
Oh, yeah.
What can I say?
My... My legs
are getting old.
Oh!
Medication time.
Ah.
And what's in the,
uh, container?
Oh, this is
a spirit concoction
with a wheatgrass base.
Nice.
Yum.
Delicious.
Oh, Jo.
There's something
I want to show you.
Ta-da.
You saved that? God.
I painted that
when I was like, 10.
It's my favorite.
We saved 'em all.
So good.
Okay,
can you just please
hide that
while I'm here?
What? Why?
Can I have this?
Dad, please.
I'm asking you.
All right.
Whatever makes
my little girl happy.
Okay. So, um, are we
the first ones here?
Oh, no. Barry's
around here somewhere.
He brought
a little friend, too.
He is
so beautiful.
Way off.
Is that Barry?
I actually have
no idea who that is.
Hello.
Hello?
Hey, Jo-blo!
Oh, my God.
Barry?
Hey.
Wow. You are
so skinny.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm Pete.
It's so nice
to meet you.
Hi, Pete. 40 pounds in the last
year. Can you believe it?
Jesus.
Were you, like,
really fat before
or something?
Ugh, the fattest.
You gotta see this.
You carry around
a picture?
Always, to remind me
how fat I was.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Yeah.
Congratulations,
man.
Thank you. I guess that's
one of the benefits
of having
a live-in trainer.
Guys, this is Makewi,
my beau.
Hi.
Oh, yeah.
Hi. I'm Peter.
I'm Jo's beau.
"Joe's beau."
Must be a poet,
'cause that rhymed.
Okay, easy, tiger.
What?
Barry's gay,
by the way.
I kind of
figured that out.
Well, let's just throw
a parade in my honor.
Let's do it!
Sorry.
So, Makewi.
Mm.
What kind of name
is Makewi?
It's Hawaiian,
means Matthew.
How exotic.
Isn't it?
Yeah.
Have you guys seen Dad
and his nurse?
Yeah.
That was very weird.
Yeah. Has Don
showed up yet?
No.
Ugh.
So, haole Pete,
how are you with a bow?
Ooh, yeah. Good idea.
Why don't you guys
go play Robin Hood
while the adults catch up?
No, no. The sarcasm
was directed at Kiwi.
I can be a bit of a bitch
sometimes.
Yes, you can.
Want a beer?
Yes, please.
That'd be wonderful.
Uh-huh.
With your right.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Grab an arrow.
Okay.
There you go.
So, uh, did Magilly
bring his own haystacks?
Makewi.
Oh.
I brought the hay.
Why?
Therapy.
He used to be addicted
to OxyContin.
But since taking up archery,
he stopped and now
only smokes weed.
And eats
peyote and mushrooms
every now and again.
But, you know, if it's from the
ground, I guess it's okay,
right?
Wow, you sound like a really
good doctor, Barry.
I pick my battles.
And the, uh...
The bows and arrows?
I told him
to pick up a hobby,
so there it is.
Hmm.
I was going on the theory
that idle hands are
the devil's playthings.
You know, that, and he wanted
to pick up a skill
that would prepare him
for the zombie apocalypse.
Oh, well, you know, that
makes perfect sense.
I don't date Kiwi
for his brains.
That's funny.
More.
So I guess psychology is really
working out for you.
Like that.
Yeah.
Makewi was
my first patient.
Free sessions
for free workouts.
Free sex
for the both of us.
Ugh. Gross.
So what's the story
with this guy?
We met in my building, been han
ging out for a little bit.
He's a nice enough guy.
It's good you're
finally dating again.
What do you mean
finally?
Let's not pretend
we don't stalk each other
on Facebook
once in awhile.
Wow. Analyzing me
through Facebook.
Is this some new
therapy tactic that
I'm unaware of, or...
Whoa! Don't get
so defensive, okay?
We barely talk.
I haven't seen you
in forever, and, look,
I'm just... I'm doing
the best I can
to avoid the fact
that Max is dead, okay?
Consider it small talk.
Yes. This is a very
fucked-up situation,
but do not dodge
the fact that you didn't
call me either.
I was kind of busy
getting my doctorate.
It's not like you were
waiting by the phone.
Oh please You're a psychologist
You're barely a doctor.
How does that
even make sense?
I was just saying I'm glad you
found a guy, you know?
When did this
become a fight?
You know, I moved away
because I didn't want
to talk about
my past to anybody.
And I do not post my love
life on the Internet.
Okay. Well, now we're here,
and maybe, you know,
somebody's gonna ask you
what you've been up to,
because they haven't seen you
in a while. I'm sorry.
Let's just pretend that we're
here for our brother's funeral
and not talk
about my personal life.
Please?
Fine. I won't bring it up.
Feel my base. See that?
That's...
That's a strong base.
See what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Put your arms around.
God, I hate that smell.
So do bad spirits.
Hello?
Hi. Can we help you?
No, I got this.
Are you
baby Ashley?
Hi, Grandpa.
Yes, Dad.
That's
your granddaughter.
Heh heh heh.
Come here.
Look at you.
You're so beautiful.
Heh. Thanks.
I'm sorry.
I gotta sit down.
Yes. Time flies when you
never see each other.
Time goes slow
when your family
doesn't come to see you.
What are you doing?
Your hair
is so beautiful.
Um, Dad?
Yeah. Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
Uh, who are you?
I'm Faye.
She's my nurse.
So, anyone else
here yet?
You're the last.
Where's your wife?
Did she think the death
of a family member
wasn't important enough?
She doesn't think
it's important to mourn
or celebrate suicide.
Magnus did not
kill himself.
All right,
relax, kiddo.
He's with the spirits now.
Okay? He's in
a much better place.
Okay.
And who are you
in relation
to any of this?
I'm Faye!
Your father's nurse.
All right, you know, Faye is
someone who knows more
about what was going
on here than you, pal.
Oh, yeah?
How's that work?
Magnus died here.
Where?
He was living here.
Ugh!
How long are
these people
gonna be surrounding the house?
I could really use a StarBees
right about now.
Don.
Hey,
you're here.
Little Ash.
Hi, Uncle Barry.
You're all grown up.
It's Ashley.
Ashley.
Hey, guys!
Hey.
Well, you look healthy.
Yeah, yeah.
Lost some weight.
Feeling good.
Thanks
to this guy.
This is my boyfriend Makewi.
M-Makoowi?
Makewi.
Ah.
Is that a skirt?
Oh, my God.
Baby Ashley.
This is crazy.
We look like
we're the same age.
Hey, Jo.
Hey, Don.
Oh, I'm... I'm Pete,
by the way.
Yeah. This is Pete.
Sorry.
Yeah. So...
Well, here we are
all together.
Yeah, we are all here.
You know what? I want to take
a picture of this.
Can you guys
just come together?
Yeah.
I'm just gonna...
I am
very confused.
Okay. Ready, and...
got it. Just beautiful.
Just beautiful.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Who are you?
Did she take it?
It was
a mental picture.
So I... I wish
that all you guys
were here together under
better circumstances.
Oh, yeah, do you?
Oh, Dad just told me that, um,
Max was living here.
Wait. What do you mean
he was living here?
You could've said that when
you called, Dad.
Woody?
All right, look.
I need to explain
something to you guys
before you blow this
out of proportion.
So I want to talk
to the three of you
upstairs in the attic.
Five minutes.
Why does he need
to see me?
Kiwi.
He just said me.
He pointed at me.
No. No, he didn't
point at you.
I don't know, Dave.
When I figure it out,
I will call you.
Yes. I have to be here
for a couple days.
Donald, Donald!
...back in the office
as soon as I can.
All right. I gotta go.
I'll call you back.
Dad, what the hell did I say
about my paintings?
You have no right
to do this.
I didn't do it.
Magnus did.
I hid this
when the cops came.
Just a collection
of his thoughts,
some poetry,
things like that. It...
I just felt like it
was important to him.
I didn't want the cops
to have it.
Great. Now we're
withholding evidence.
They took everything
they needed.
Dad, you have
to take these down.
I can't.
I want to keep...
everything the way
it was when he left it.
How long
did he stay here?
He came back
six months ago.
And you didn't
tell any of us?
- He wasn't ready yet.
- Ready?
Yeah.
This is my father,
Woodrow.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Come here.
Hi.
Come in. Come in.
Come in. Come in.
You got it.
Thank you.
I have so much
to tell you.
When they left
the Viking colony,
his girlfriend,
she was having
a hard time adjusting.
She soon relapsed.
She couldn't handle it.
She died.
I'm so scared.
It's all right.
Jo, he said your paintings
inspired him to write.
Magnus tried
to stay sober...
but the drugs overtook him.
He kissed me on the cheek,
and he left.
He came back
because he wanted us
to be a family again.
He wanted to be the glue
like your mom was,
and now I want that, too.
He said that these pictures
reminded him of you guys.
So how's school?
It's good.
Um, I have a 4.1 GPA.
Oh.
Yeah.
I was the first female
to ever
go undefeated in CIF
championship tennis,
and I founded my school
Young Republicans club.
Should have my pick
of any college
in the country.
Mm-hmm. We are
very proud of her.
Did you go to college?
Uh, no. I, uh...
I got my G.E.D.,
and then I started
taking some art classes.
But, uh, you know, I realized
there's more to life
than just sitting
in a classroom,
learning things.
Most of the stuff
you could just look up on the
Internet anyways, right?
Can't learn how to be a doctor
from the Internet.
Yeah, but you're not
really a doctor, Barry.
Yes, I am.
No, come on. You're like a
glorified social worker.
Actually, Bear Cub
is a very good doctor.
I would still be addicted to
Oxy if it wasn't for him.
Thank you.
Oh, he nursed you
back to health?
So you're a nurse.
Except you have sex
with your patients.
You're a naughty nurse.
Son, play nice.
I think you might need a sesh
with Dr. Burwood.
Don't call him that.
Don't call him that.
That's my name.
Isn't this fun,
having the whole gang
back together?
Yeah,
so far apart.
You have something
to say, Barry?
No, Dad, I think he's just
observing your...
Your sudden and
spontaneous attempt
at fatherhood.
How am I doing?
You're doing great.
Eh, sudden,
spontaneous.
So, uh, Jo, are you
gonna see Johnny
while you're here?
Uh...
that's really random.
Why would I do that?
Wait a minute.
Who's Johnny?
Oh! "Johnny" Johnny.
Oh, good call,
Bear Cub.
Yeah, you guys
must have a lot
to catch up on.
Who's Johnny?
Thanks a lot,
Barry, really.
Are we...
Are we done here?
Oh, is Johnny the guy you
were gonna have a baby with?
Excuse me?
Well, my dad said you had an
abortion. Is that the guy?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Is this appropriate
dinner conversation?
Well, I don't keep secrets
from my daughter.
Secrets aren't something you
blurt out at dinner.
Well, it's already out, so it's
not technically a secret.
Johana did what she
had to do. She left.
It's nothing that the rest
of you didn't do.
Dad, I left
because I started a family,
my own family.
Okay?
No one abandoned you.
No, but you stopped
talking to me.
You stopped talking
to each other.
All I'm saying is we haven't
seen each other for years.
Let's just
try not to spoil it.
It is just amazing
how you can put yourself
on a pedestal like that,
the fact that you
have the gall
to point your finger
at any of us.
Dad, it was not our job
to support you.
You were the dad.
Where were you
when we lost Mom?
No, no.
It took the death
of our little brother,
who we hardly even knew,
till you realize
that you actually did
a really shitty job.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just wondering
when you're gonna start
taking responsibility
for your own shit
instead of
blaming it
all on me.
I mean we did pretty much
raise ourselves, Dad.
Thank you.
Just saying.
Yeah.
Forget it.
Well, the food is,
um, fantastic.
It is!
Yeah.
Thank you
for the hospitality.
Thank you, Pete.
So, Ashley,
are there any cute
boys at school?
I guess.
But how 'bout
anyone special, you know?
Any hummingbirds coming
to feed at your nectar?
Please, Dad. Can you...
Can you rein this in?
It's natural.
Heh.
Is... Is this proper
dinner conversation?
Are you fucking
kidding me?
Okay, as...
Really?
As a matter of fact,
I am a virgin,
if that's what
you guys are asking.
Good.
I'm waiting for marriage
so I don't have
to abort anyone.
Oh, wow.
- Wow.
- Okay, well, um,
Ashley, did you know that
your dad had you at 17
and was forced
to get married?
Yeah. I teach her not to make
the same mistakes I did.
Okay. Well, I'm... I'm in the
middle of a conversation
with your mistake right now, bu
t
according to her rights,
Jo can do whatever
the hell she wants.
Barry, where is
this going?
Honestly, Uncle Dr. Barry,
do you really think
you're the right candidate
to speak for the subject?
I mean, you people
can't even have kids.
What do you mean
me people?
Don't. Just don't.
I mean, once we've
allowed same-sex marriage,
who's to say you can't go out
there and marry your car
or, like, a dog
or something?
I think I would
have a hard time
consummating the relationship I
have with my car.
Yeah, but what if he did? Would
you slap a ring on him?
I'm not gonna have
a political conversation
with a narrow-minded
13-year-old
who's comparing people to autom
-
obiles and canines.
I'm 15.
Yeah.
So, when's the funeral?
Oh, stop it
right now.
I'm fucking serious.
We're here
for your brother.
I really
don't give a fuck
whether you
like each other
or me or not,
but only for one week,
I fucking implore you to get
along with each other
for the sake
of your brother.
And then we can all go back to
our pathetic lives,
which I am
obviously to blame for.
Your dad's right.
This is wrong.
I feel like we should say a
prayer for Magnus.
Maxwell?
Magnus.
Whatever.
Please grab
your neighbor's hand.
Finally.
The energy in here
was so damp, man.
Nah, I'm okay.
Don.
We don't need him.
You don't need me either.
It's... Okay.
I don't think I can
do this either. Sorry.
All right.
Well, you all can watch.
You can keep your eyes
closed or open,
but please make sure to keep
your soul open.
Wow. Wow.
You know, aloha means
hello, goodbye,
but it also means love.
Will you
please relax?
No. I have anxiety.
Pacing helps me
calm myself.
What the hell would
you have anxiety for?
Because your whole family
hates each other.
I told you
we don't get along.
Yeah, but I thought
you were talking about,
like, the way a man
gets mad at his wife
for stepping
in front of the game
or... or fighting over
which channel to watch.
Pete,
you wanted to come.
Look, I never said that I
wanted to leave, okay?
I really like
being here with you.
I just sometimes
need to vent and pace
to get stuff out.
Okay.
And who's Johnny,
by the way?
He's just a boyfriend
from high school.
Well, then why did everything
escalate as soon as it
was broug ht up?
It escalated because
my brothers are dicks.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Because if you need to, like,
go and see that Johnny guy
for any reason,
to, like, bury any hatchets
or, anything, you totally can.
I get it.
Why would I care?
Why would I do that?
There's no hatchet
to bury, you know.
I haven't talked to the guy in,
like, almost five years.
Yeah. But you're
here now, right?
Look, the guy
was a dickhead.
I dumped him,
and I left.
Do you guys want to go
grab some cocktails?
No.
Yes, please.
Can you give us
a minute?
Listen, Jo.
I like you, okay?
But I'm not down
for getting into this
if you have
any unfinished business.
That's all I'm saying.
You have nothing
to worry about, okay?
Okay.
I need a drink.
Don, you sure you don't
want to come with us?
No, I'm good.
Okay.
See you guys later.
Have fun.
Yep.
You know, you're
not better than us.
One brother is
a suicidal drug addict,
the other is
a therapist who bangs
his male patients,
and my sister
is a coward.
My daughter and I
live a normal and
comfortable life.
That's why I am better.
Ah, you sound like
the perfect big brother,
comfortable with putting
everybody else down.
And your comfortable life
with your wife
who doesn't support
her husband during
his time of grief.
Who says I'm grieving?
You do.
Look, why don't you
buy a few rounds
and say that
you paid for it?
Ah.
All right,
will you back off?
All right? I am trying
to concentrate here
and focus on some quality
time with my daughter,
who is kicking my ass.
Have one for Magnus.
It's okay, Dad.
You can go.
Really?
Yeah. I'm fine.
Yeah. See?
She's fine.
She and Faye can sit around and
talk about creation
or pollination or
something like that.
See what you're
getting yourself into?
I'm into it.
Fine.
Oh, hey, can I
borrow your car?
Mine's got
so much shit in it.
I'm driving.
Attaboy!
I can see your nipples through
your shirt, by the way.
Oh, wait. Should I change?
I don't...
I thought you didn't
like drinking.
No, I'm just
a self-medicating drunk.
I drink
when I'm anxious.
All right, come on.
Why are you pushing me?
I'm gonna go
to the little girls' room.
You and Don talk.
Don's in finance.
I'm sure you guys will have
a lot to talk about.
So, what do you do
for a living?
Mm.
I live life.
Yeah, that's...
That's fantastic.
Pete, you really
need to calm down.
Hey, bartender!
Whoa, dude.
What are you doing?
I need a refill.
Uh, no, you don't.
Look, I'm just trying
to get on your guys' level.
Well, you don't see the rest of
us getting wasted.
No, that's what I mean.
I... I need to get drunk
to fit in.
Okay. Stop being
such a baby.
Okay, Jo.
Okay.
You, uh, lovebirds
need a couple refills?
No, we're... Shit.
Johana?
Hi there, Johnny.
That's Johnny?
Yeah.
I'm Johnny.
Pete, Johnny.
Johnny, Pete.
I need
two refills, please.
What were you drinking?
No, you don't.
Are you his mother?
No, I am not.
She's my girlfriend.
Yeah, actually.
Um...
this is
my boyfriend,
and my boyfriend
and I need to go.
Well, congratulations
to the both of you.
Next round's on me.
No, no, no. We're fine.
We have a table.
No, no, no, no.
You heard the man.
The next round
is on Big John.
Yeah.
Jo, I'm so sorry
about your brother.
Thank you, but, uh,
we really have to get going.
Come on.
Nice seeing you, too.
Where's Barry?
He went
to the Boom Boom Room.
Well, we should
get going.
Yes, please.
Yeah.
Why are you
sitting down?
Hey. Ho.
Coming through.
More free drinks!
One for Magnus.
Mm-mm.
Keep 'em
coming.
Why do I have
the feeling
like you're trying
to keep us here?
What? Who, me? No.
Mm-hmm.
What,
you know this guy?
I'm Johnny, man.
Don, right?
Heh. Hey!
Hey.
Hey, Johnny!
How are ya, pal?
I'm good.
Yeah?
I'm real good. Yeah.
Wow. It's so funny,
'cause we were just talking
about you over dinner.
Only lovely things,
I'm sure.
Eh.
Hey, I'm so sorry
to hear about
your brother.
Oh. I know. I know.
It'll make a great movie
of the week, though, right?
Okay. Well, we're
gonna get going,
so you should, too.
Well, that bathroom was
a treat, let me tell ya.
Holy shit!
We got the whole
Burwood bunch.
All right. I'm gonna be
waiting in the car.
Thanks, Johnny.
Great to see you, kid.
Johnny, hey.
Dude, you look so fit.
Yeah, I lost
some weight.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm really sorry,
uh, that I was such a dick to
you in high school.
Right. Right.
You know, life's gotten
a lot better.
I'm a doctor now.
Wow. That's...
That is cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not a barkeep, so...
It pays the bills.
Does it pay the bills?
He's also
in a relationship.
Hi. I'm Makewi.
Hey, there.
I'm John.
Yes, you are.
Great catching up
with you guys.
Bye.
You, too, John.
All right.
Well, we should go.
Let's go. Yeah.
We should go.
Yeah, let's go.
Yeah. Come on.
Come on. Chop-chop.
Let's do this.
I have a sicky
little boy here.
All right.
Do you need help?
Watch his head.
Oh, my God.
Hey, Jo!
Jojo!
Jojo?
Johana?
Yeah.
Uh, I really am
sorry about Max.
He was a, um,
very interesting guy
from what I remember and
from what the news said.
Yeah. Well, um,
you said sorry already.
Hey.
You kidding me?
I gotta go.
Let me take you
to lunch tomorrow.
No.
Or coffee or tea
or boba, anything.
Okay, come on, Jo.
No phone call.
No note.
You changed your number.
I mean, you didn't
even give me a chance
to be there for you.
My brother
just died, okay?
I really can't be dealing
with this right now.
No, you're right.
I'm sorry.
That's like the fourth time
you said that.
Come on.
I'm working at Cafe de Leche
tomorrow morning.
Come on!
I gotta go.
Come by, and see me.
Coming!
Fuck.
Finally.
It's good
to meet you, bro.
Bye, Johnny!
You've got a good head of hair,
bro.
Okay.
And down.
There you go.
Sleeping beauty.
Thanks, man.
No worries.
I guess I'll be going.
Yeah, go.
Yeah.
Do you need
anything else?
You're good?
No, I... I think
I got it from here.
Okay. Mahalo.
Mahalo.
Mahalo.
Maha...
Mahalo.
Okay.
Oh, I wanted
to give you something.
Mm.
Something for the edge,
little sista.
Why not?
Thank you.
Jo?
Hey. How you feeling?
I'm sorry
I ruined your night.
Ah, you didn't ruin
my night.
Really?
Okay.
I'm gonna go wash up.
Hey, Jo.
Hmm?
I like you.
Heh.
Hello?
Hey. Hey.
You smell pot?
Oh, what, are you
a pothead now, too?
What is the matter
with you people?
What are you
doing up here, Don?
I smelled pot.
Just relax, please.
Yeah. Well, the whole house
smells like weed.
Who gives a shit?!
You crying?
No.
Yeah, you are.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm f-fine.
Ugh.
No wonder you're crying.
This is disturbing.
Jesus.
Well, I'm no Dr. Barry,
but I can tell you
this artist has issues.
Thanks.
Is that supposed to be Mom?
I guess.
And you're the baby?
I don't know.
I don't remember.
Is that me?
The one in the dress
and the little nightie?
Looks like you had
some unfinished business
with that guy, Johnny.
Oh, shit.
Is that supposed
to be your baby?
I don't know.
I don't know why
everyone cares
so much about this.
You know, please...
Okay. Okay.
Hey, I'm still
your older brother.
I don't know.
Are you fucking with me
or something, Don?
'Cause it's not funny.
We weren't
always this shitty
to each other, right?
Remember when
you were little and sweet
and innocent
and followed me around
like a little puppy dog?
I'm not a puppy anymore.
Yeah. What happened?
Heh. I grew tits,
and you're an asshole.
You know what?
I am gonna commission
a whole new line of work,
still lifes.
I want something happier,
like a nice bowl of fruit.
Slap a smile and
some eyeballs on there for me.
I'd buy that, put that
in my living room.
No, you know
who'd buy that? Barry.
Barry'd buy the shit out
of that. Heh.
I just want to know
what Max was doing
with all these
up here.
Yeah.
Who knows?
Read the book.
Let me know
when you figure it out.
Yeah.
Oh, hey. You know, if you ever
need to have a session,
you want to gab
about Mommy and Johnny
and, you know, whatever,
my door is always open.
I'm twice
as expensive as Barry,
but only half as helpful.
Heh.
Thanks, Don.
Good night.
Try not to smoke
too much of that shit.
Honey, honey,
honey, honey,
honey, honey.
No, please.
Please stop, okay?
It's 7:00
in the morning.
We went to bed,
like, four hours ago.
No. You went to bed
four hours ago,
my little bear cub.
I was working.
On what?
What are you building?
An ark.
An ark.
Why?
Because something
told me to.
Because something told you to.
Okay, great.
Hey!
Oh, God.
Do you fruits have any idea
wha t time it is?
Yes. Yes, we do.
What is
he doing?
He's building an ark.
He's building
an ark?
Yeah.
What the fuck for?
Because something
told him to.
Ah. You are a really
good doctor, man.
All right.
Fuck off, Don.
No! No! No!
Hey! What did you
do that for?
Sleep!
How high are you?
So this is coming
from our yard?
What's going on?
Okay, look.
I couldn't sleep
last night, yeah?
So, I was
really hungry,
so I started to eat some mushro
-
oms that I brought from home.
You know, mushrooms,
magic mushrooms. I ate 'em.
They were really good.
Okay. Fuck this.
I am going to bed.
And I started to trip out,
and I wanted
to go for a walk,
so I went for a walk.
And then
I don't know why,
but I found myself
in this abandoned ware...
Like, it was like a constructio
n
site or something.
And it was this vision,
and... and something said,
"You have to build
this ark."
Are your gums bleeding?
No. I don't know
what it was,
but something
deep in my soul,
it was a color,
it was a feeling,
it was something
that said,
"Take this wood, Makewi,
and build the ark."
Isn't this, like,
a bit small for an ark,
in case of big flood or...
I never said flood!
I never said flood!
I said something told me to
build an ark, so I build an ark.
I don't question
these things.
All right,
Kiwi, relax.
Hey!
Okay.
What's everyone
doing out here?
Somebody please hide all the
power tools. Barry?
I have this.
Honey, you stole lumber.
I didn't steal it.
I borrowed it.
You know why it's bad to eat
mushrooms now, right?
I say, "Whoo."
Kiwi?
"Alas, milady and I
are about to return
to the Americas.
A new journey awaits
in our homeland."
Our rehabilitation was over,
and it was time to face
the world ahead.
These modern Vikings showed us
their tools of sobriety.
Our life is no longer
controlled by substances.
We've rid ourselves
of bad habits and vices,
but I reckon to see
no difference between
fantasy and reality.
But a true Viking, no matter
how trapped he may feel,
must face dragons head-on
no matter the consequence.
This is the Viking way.
Never give up.
Never submit.
Never surrender to any man
or any thing.
Where are you
sneaking out to?
Is there more coffee?
Sorry. I only made enough
for my dad and me.
Of course.
Here. Uh, take this.
Really?
Yeah. You can have it.
Thanks.
Oh, that is
way more sugar
than I was expecting.
Yeah, I don't like
the taste of coffee.
Why the hell do
you drink it, then?
I have an essay to finish.
Oh, gosh. It is summer.
Go... Go to the beach.
Hang out with boys.
I don't have time
for boys.
I want to get in to NYU,
and everything needs
to be perfect.
Heh. Don't you have,
like, a 4.0 GPA?
Yeah, 4.1.
Ashley, okay,
try and enjoy
being a kid
before it's
too late.
Okay. Yeah, you had
a boyfriend in high school,
and look how
that turned out.
How did that turn out?
Are you serious?
Okay, who the fuck
do you think you are,
little girl, huh?
You have no idea what
you're talking about,
and neither does
your asshole dad.
Okay,
I was proving my point.
Calm down.
Well, that's none
of your business.
One day, you might be faced wit
h
the same decision,
so you shouldn't be
so quick to judge
something you've
never gone through.
Hello.
One second.
Okay.
May I help you?
Hi. Yeah, um...
Tori.
Yeah. Johana Burwood.
I almost didn't recognize you
with the hair change.
Oh, yeah. Well,
I guess people are right.
Blondes have
a little too much fun.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you still look like
you're in high school.
Thanks, I guess.
Uh, who's
that little kid?
Is he
someone's here?
Is he bothering you?
No. No.
Hunter, can you
come here, please? Now.
Oh, he's yours.
No, I just like
to yell at random kids.
This is my son Hunter.
Can you say hi?
Hi.
Hi. I'm Jo. How old are... Okay,
Hunter,
what did I say about
jumping up on the furniture?
I don't know.
Okay.
Can you go color
in the back room,
please?
Thank you.
Can I get you
a coffee or a scone?
No.
Does, um...
Does Johnny work here?
Why do you want
to know that?
I just needed
to talk to...
Is Hunter...
Yeah.
Nope.
Uh, what the fuck,
John?
How long does it take to
smoke a cigarette?
Sorry.
Yeah. Yeah, you are.
I said I'm sorry, Jo.
Jo?
Tor... Tori.
Don't you have
a bar to open?
Fuck.
You know, I'm gonna go.
Yeah. Good idea.
Are you fucking
kidding me?
Hey, Jo, wait up.
I have to go.
What for?
I shouldn't
have come here.
I didn't know that you and
Tori were together.
Seriously?
We're not married.
Good for you.
Can I...
I didn't even know
she was working today.
Her parents own this place,
and I, uh,
owe them money.
And you have
a kid together.
Yeah.
Yeah. Can I get
my keys, please?
I'm not gonna give you
the keys back until you
tell me why you came.
Okay. If I tell you why,
will you
please let me leave?
I pinky swear.
I will just take
your word on that.
Jesus, Jo.
I don't understand
what you're so upset for.
You came here to see me.
I was going to tell you
the real reason I left,
but I don't even care
if you know anymore.
You had an abortion.
You were ashamed.
Everybody knows that.
Yeah, everybody
doesn't know shit.
Jo, if I knew you were
gonna leave after that,
I would've said
we should have the baby
if that meant me and you
staying together.
I've missed you.
Ah, man, we would've been
great together, huh?
You can't just
fuck people's friends.
You can't just get girls
pregnant like it's whatever.
Tori was a mistake.
I... I was young.
I fucked up when
I cheated on you, Jo.
I'm paying for that now,
clearly.
Yeah. Well, some things
you can't take back.
You know, don't ruin
your kid's life
because of some
stupid schoolboy crush.
Crush?
Yeah.
Yeah. I was in love
with you, Jo.
We would've had
a perfect life, huh?
Just you and me.
And our baby, Johnny.
And our baby, whatever.
Yeah, whatever.
Fuck, Jo! I...
thought we were
having a moment here.
God, a moment? What the fuck
is wrong with you?
You're a father. Go have a
moment with them.
Just wait.
Wait a second.
Okay, f-fuck it.
This makes no sense.
You are missing out,
Ash-flower.
Sometimes you gotta just stop
and enjoy the scenery.
Not my call.
Just chill,
you know?
What's wrong with you?
Where have you been?
Nowhere.
It's... It's nothing.
Okay. Sure.
You know, if you
would have just told me
that you were gonna go talk to
him, I would've understood.
Look, I'm sorry I didn't
give you a heads-up.
He's still an asshole,
if that's you're wondering.
Oh, fuck!
He's such an asshole!
He's an asshole, huh?
Damn it!
Jo, are you okay?
I sense some very negative
energy coming from here,
and I just needed to make
sure you were okay.
Yeah. I'm, uh...
I'm good.
Okay.
What, are you changing?
No, no, I'm packing.
This is a bag.
But what about
the funeral?
I should've
just stayed home.
You know,
I come back here,
and all this shit just picks up
where it left off.
I'm gonna talk about me
for a second.
You know,
I never really had a family
until your dad
took me in.
He's been
really nice to me.
Yeah.
Well, he's, uh...
He's changing,
I guess.
Heh.
I think he pretends
I'm you guys.
He misses you.
It's not just him,
though, you know?
It's...
It's this place.
It's Max.
It's every scar,
every bruise.
You know,
every stupid fucking
memory is...
It's here.
But if we didn't have
any of the bad stuff,
then how could we
recognize the good?
It would all
just be the same.
Maybe they're preparing you
for something bigger.
What, like, um...
Like a test?
Yes!
You should go catch Peter
and see if you pass.
What do you mean
catch him?
Where'd he go?
Well, he took
Makewi's bike.
He looked very determined.
Oh, shit.
May the winds
guide you, Jo!
Hey, what do
you want, man?
What the...
Are we done here?
I'm just
getting started!
Get off of him!
Dude came at me.
Get off of him
right now, Johnny,
or I swear to God, I will run
you over with my car.
Learn to throw a punch
like a man, huh?
What, a man like you?
Yeah, have fun with
my sloppy seconds, bro.
Get over it, Johnny!
We were
in high school!
Fuck this!
Yeah, tell your wife
and kid I say hey!
I'm not married!
Hey, are you okay?
Honestly,
just leave me alone.
I embarrassed
myself enough.
Pete.
I shouldn't have come here.
Why?
Because you obviously
have a lot of loose ends
that you
need to tie up,
and I just get in the way,
okay? I get it.
That's not true.
Yes, it is!
I tried
to kick his ass.
I... I can't
even fight.
I don't need anybody
to fight for me, Pete.
I... I brought you
because you're a good guy,
because you're someone
I want to get to know.
Yeah, and I feel like you forge
t
that I'm even here.
Pete, we need to talk.
I'm gonna tell you
something I've never
told anyone before,
why... why I really
left here.
Jo, I really understand.
Okay?
No. No, you don't.
I... I never had
an abortion.
Why the hell would you lie
about something like that?
No. No. I mean, um,
I... I had the baby.
What?
Yeah.
I... I was young.
You know, I was 16, and...
And Johnny and I
had decided that it was
the right thing to do.
But the... the night before,
I just... I had this...
This feeling that
I just couldn't shake.
I... It just wasn't
something I could do.
Well, what happened?
I moved away and
actually had the baby.
Everyone just thought
I had an abortion and left.
What happened
to the baby?
I had a closed adoption,
and that was that.
You know, but, uh,
now I have to live
with the fact
that I have
a kid out there,
and I'll never know
what she's doing
unless she
comes and finds me,
so, you know,
it's easier
just to let everyone else
believe what they want.
When my mom died, I...
I lost the only woman
in my life.
You know, my brothers
did their best,
and my dad did
what he could,
but then he, uh...
He started to dwindle away.
Max did try, though,
but, you know,
he was a drug addict.
How could he...
I started, uh,
painting these pictures
of these women,
but no matter how hard
I tried, I just...
All the women
in the paintings
resembled my mom.
And nobody knew
any of that until now,
so I don't really know...
Don't say anything else.
I just want to hug you.
God, Don, come on!
Tap! Tap! Tap! Tap!
Ow! Get...
She's a minor, Barry!
She's a little kid!
You're such a fucking
hypocrite, man.
One minute,
she's an adult.
One minute
she's a kid.
Make up your mind!
Fuck you!
Dad, leave him alone.
I wanted to have the drink!
What is going on?
Bearbear gave Ashley
a bit of alcohol.
Yeah, it was a mojito.
Hmm.
Good for you.
Enjoying my summer.
Get off!
Hey, fatty.
Ow.
"Dear Diary..."
Come on.
Get off!
"Oh, I saw
Jamie Linder's pee-pee
"in the locker room, and it
was red and beautiful.
I want to hold it
in my mouth."
Remember that, fatty?
Is someone
gonna break them up?
Ah, they're making up
for lost time.
Let 'em get
a few more in.
They're not
so much fighting
as kind of
aggressively hugging.
Little bitch!
Yeah! What now?!
You forget I wasn't
just a cheerleader.
I was also on
the wrestling team.
Let's call a fruit a fruit,
Barry.
Come on, you liked
getting whipped
in the shower
after the match.
You're such a fucking asshole.
Yep.
You want more, bitch?
Aah!
Ooh!
Ooh!
All right, enough.
It was an accident!
The coconuts?
Really, Barry? That's enough.
That's enough.
Get the fuck off me.
It was an accident.
Just like
a fucking faggot
to go for the nuts.
Daddy, look out!
Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but if you use that word
in that tone again,
your daughter as my witness, I
will bend you over
and show you how I lost my
virginity. We clear?
That's enough!
Daddy, are you okay?
Pack your bags.
What, now?
Now!
Okay.
Don, don't.
Don! Don!
Look, wait. Wait.
Don't go.
Don't go!
I am sick
of this fucking family
or whatever the fuck
you want to call it.
All right,
I want you to stay.
I don't give a shit
what you want.
Look, Don!
I'm your father.
I need you to stay.
Oh, you're my father
all of a sudden?
You lost that privilege
a long time ago!
Come on, Don. We could
talk abo ut this.
Damn it!
You okay?
Come on. We're going.
Don, wait. Wait, Don.
I didn't abandon you,
Don. I was lost!
Yes. You know what? You were
fucking lost, Dad!
You were lost my whole
fucking life!
And you know what?
Stay the fuck lost!
No, Don, Don, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
I was a man in love.
What was I going to do with...
Yes, you loved! You loved one
woman more than you loved
fucking anything else
in the world,
and you couldn't see
anything else!
Where were you
at all my fucking games?
At my graduation
or my wedding?
Your granddaughter
walks in the room,
you didn't even know
who the fuck she was.
Your daughter has an abortion!
You weren't there!
Where were you?
I know, Don.
Your son comes out of the close
t
where were you?
Magnus was
fucking self-destructing
in front of your very eyes,
where the fuck were you?
I was here
when Magnus was here.
Bullshit!
I'm here for you right now!
Tell me what you want!
Don't!
Tell me what you want!
Don't try
and be my dad now.
It is too broken, man.
We are too broken
to fix.
Stop!
No!
Woody. Woody.
Uh...
can I sit here?
I mean,
it's the gay section.
I don't want you
to catch anything.
Look, I didn't mean
that you're a faggot.
I... I don't know
what I meant, all right?
You punched my balls into my
mouth. I was in pain.
Not the first time
I heard that.
Come on, bro.
I... I don't know
how to do this.
I'm gonna go
talk to Jo.
Okay.
Can I borrow her
for a second?
I'm just gonna
get some coffee.
Hi.
Hi.
I've been meaning
to ask you something.
What?
Do you know
what your name means?
What, Jo?
No, Johana.
Should I?
Well, you gotta
drop the "J."
Ohana?
Ohana.
Where I come from,
"ohana"
means family.
And I'm someone
who strongly believes
in kismet, you know?
I believe
that things happen
for a reason, you know?
And I don't think your mom
named you that by accident.
Listen, man,
I-I'm really sorry.
I... I have been
a really bad older brother.
You know what I don't
get is, you know...
you're the only person
who's ever used
my sexuality against me.
You know,
I don't even remember
the last time
I was called a faggot,
and you show up and boom,
right back where we started
Well, dude, look at me.
When I was
in high school, I was...
I was the man, you know?
I was varsity everything.
I got good grades.
I was wildly popular.
No, I... I should've
cleared a path.
I mean, you were
already fat and gay.
Fat and gay, great.
Well, look how shit
turned out, all right?
Here I was this cocky guy,
knocked my girl up,
and then, you know,
I had to be an adult
for the rest of my life.
You, you got to go
to college, become a...
You know, a doctor.
I'm dealing
with an ugly divorce.
I'm trying to teach my kid
to be nothing like me
or her whore mother.
What are you
talking about?
I thought you liked
being married. No.
She's been fucking around
behind my back for years.
Don, I had no idea.
Now, dude, I love my kid.
She's everything to me.
Literally, she's...
She's all I have left.
Ashley and I moved out
of the house last week.
And staying here
ain't exactly perfect,
but anywhere's better
than there.
Ah, man.
I miss Mom.
I didn't realize how much
until I got here,
saw all you guys.
Me, too.
Burwood.
You can see him now.
He's still
out of it, but he
can have visitors.
Immediate family only.
Right.
He's still stable,
just resting.
Where is everybody?
You okay?
I have this idea.
That's a bad thing,
though, right?
No, this is
a good thing,
but follow my lead.
Oh, God.
Why?
Guys.
Look at you,
the three of you
together again.
You good?
Never better.
Magnus and Mom
say hello.
You know,
when I was away...
my favorite passage
from Magnus' book
came to me.
I memorized it.
I want you to hear it.
"A wolf is always strongest
when he's with his pack.
"Every day,
a dire wolf dies,
but the pack
must stay together."
"And when they do,
"in the end,
they will prevail."
"The tighter the pack,
the stronger the wolf."
"I want you guys
to remember us
"when we were
at our best,
when your mom was there."
"Then we can all
dine in Valhalla
together." Huh?
We can be a pack, Dad.
If we weren't in a hospital,
I' d howl right now.
Hi.
I-I'm sorry. I have to
check his vitals.
Yeah.
You guys go on.
I'm not going anywhere.
How's he doing?
Uh, he's okay,
I guess.
Good,
good, good.
We should...
We should go.
Why are you dressed
like Doogie Howser?
I will
explain that later.
We should get back
to the house right now.
Where's Kiwi?
He said that he would be waitin
g
in the car for you.
Uh, okay.
What the hell
is that?
Is that a corpse?
This is
your bruddah.
That's Magnus?
Yeah.
Makewi, you know why this
is bad, right?
You know why...
Where the hell
did you find him?
What the fuck is the matter
with this guy?
Okay, there's only one
hospital in town, yeah?
So, two plus two. We checked
the autopsy room.
There he was.
You guys, I am so sorry.
I had no idea
that he was gonna...
Never mind. What the fuck are
we gonna do with him?
We're going
to give him a proper
Viking funeral.
Oh. Oh, you're going to give
him a proper Viking funeral?
What the fuck is that?
We're going to put him in a boa
t
set him afloat,
and I'm gonna shoot
flaming arrows at him
and set him on fire.
No, no, no, no, no.
That is not happening.
Okay, you are taking him back
to the morgue immediately.
And how are you
gonna do that, Barry?
You're gonna just waltz into th
e
morgue with a fucking corpse?
I don't know!
Take him back
the way you got him!
Guys, would you
please just listen.
I am just reading
the signs here, okay?
Honey...
I took up archery in my 30s.
What for? Huh?
I start building
the ark. Why?
It's because I'm
reading the signs.
And guess
who's writing 'em?
Magnus.
He's telling me
to do so.
Gimme the mushrooms,
okay?
I'm not
eating mushrooms.
Barry, I'm all... I'm all
for your open-mindedness
in this relationship,
but are you
fucking serious?
Not now, okay?
I'm try...
Yeah, you know,
we have to do this.
Do... What?
Are you serious?
It just makes sense.
Yeah, yeah.
It makes perfect sense.
Totally.
Let's
blow up brother.
Let's do that.
Let's fucking...
Didn't you just hear
what Dad told us?
I mean,
let's start right now
working together
as a pack.
What would Magnus want
if it was one of us, huh?
He would want one of us to shoo
t
flaming arrows at him.
We need a body of water.
Jo...
Yes.
Is it... What are you
laughing at?
This is not funny.
Yes, right.
No, no, no.
This is hilarious,
and actually I have
a great idea.
Remember that lake
behind Arthur Park?
Yes!
Yeah, I used to go there.
I'd blow
all sorts of shit up.
With M-80's, I'd fucking
blow up furniture.
I'd light
my textbooks on fire.
I'm not gonna
get arrested, okay?
I'm not gonna do that.
I never got arrested.
Yeah. Well, you didn't have a
dead body with you either.
You know what? You have to take
some fucking responsibility
for what you bring... for your
role in this family.
Okay. I don't
think we should
be fighting like this.
You are a fucking idiot
sometimes, man.
What the fuck are
you talking about?
And you are
a fucking lunatic.
This is important.
Will you guys
listen to me?
Who brought
this fucking guy?
You are fucking guy.
I'm not fucking guy.
Listen, shut up!
I am reading
the signs.
Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
Look, I read Magnus' book,
me, not you, me!
And if
I learned anything,
it's that a Viking goes to war
with any size army
as long as he's fighting
for his family.
Who gives a shit
about our fucking past?
It sucked.
Okay, big deal.
But let's take this moment
to prove to ourselves
that all of us have at least
one selfless bone in our body.
We just watched
our father have a stroke.
Our brother is dead,
and what're we doing?
We're blaming each other for
shit that happened in the past,
that doesn't even
fucking matter anymore.
I really think
that this is what Magnus
would've wanted.
Right?
Anybody?
Yeah, fuck it.
I'm in.
Bear?
I mean, if you really think
this is what he wants.
Okay.
When Mom was alive,
she was always our rock.
Magnus tried
everything he could
to fulfill that legacy.
Now it's our turn.
You almost ready to go?
Yeah. I'm just finishing
this last little...
Okay, let's go.
I really like this one.
Mm, it's okay.
I'll finish it later.
When my mother died,
my family fell apart.
My brother tried
to put us back together.
When he died,
he achieved his goal.
We've become a family again.
Sometimes in death,
breath is drawn into a new life
Today is the day
of my namesake's reckoning.
One day, we'll dine
in Valhalla with Odin,
and we will once again
be together as a family.
Sincerely, your daughter,
sister, and friend,
Johana Burwood.