1
The 's battle plan for Eizenhower
D-Day was cakewalk
compared to the preparation
of Pam for our wedding.
By the time we wanted,
this was the best we had.
A glorious afternoon of Wellington.
Gifts are another source
of tension in marriages.
Husbands do not want to spend
much as their wives.
Some of these guys knew
they would have to drink
$ 300 champagne just to emulate.
One thing, one thing only asked
this year and you did not answer.
If your wife asks you how your dress looks
,
never, ever say a flattery.
Flattery implies that she
is big like an elephant
and that she somehow miraculously he wants
to reduce the size of a sheep.
She is coming.
I did not want to repeat the
mistakes they committed my friends.
So only when
married was really safe.
Really secure than I was doing.
Pam was sweet, fun, super-
and libido the size of Australia.
By some miracle
found my perfect partner.
Good afternoon everyone.
Simon and Pam would like to start
saying some figures who
have written for themselves
with a little help from Khalil Gibran,
an Arab poet who loves Pam.
Love one another,
but do not ye love a fetter.
What there is a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Give one another of your bread
but eat not from the same piece
Stay together, but not
your too much.
For the pillars of the temple stand-
separated.
- Jumped a piece.
- What?
Oh, fuck.
Completely forgot that shit
have separate strings of the lyre
and touch the same music.
- Oh, my God!
- Lowe fainted.
Must be because of the Khalil Gibran.
See, most of these couples never married
,
That
. This is marriage.
Except for him.
Soul denies that there can
be better than his marriage.
Is she okay?
Harry,
my godfather and my best friend.
Not very picky, loyal, cheerful,
Loves sports, attractive
in low light.
Well actually married.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
The sky of Berlin seemed to be about to cry
the day I got married
with Klaus.
Should have been my first sign.
The wedding almost did not
happen, because usually,
Klaus is always running late.
I was a shy student
music when I met him.
He was everything I was not.
I need to close the registry.
- This is not good.
- No, please,
Have to do that today.
We leave the country tomorrow.
Please only two minutes.
I would be happy to follow him
until the end of the world
that's what I ended up doing,
when he was offered
teach in Wellington.
My mother thought deeply repugnant
,
and so, of course,
I found it irresistible.
Was not what his father
and I wanted for you.
Took me to find the drug
of my birth certificate.
- This is for you.
- Do not have time to wash?
Good lighting, huh?
Every day, she on the
other end of the world,
and yet, will be here with you.
We are going to New Zealand tomorrow.
Next time, I will ask
anesthesia also.
Parenthood.
Is so elementary and universal
putting strangers together
because of that,
and I know Harry Keith,
a bank broker completely fucked.
- First time?
- It is.
Is that you?
Is not my third.
With my second.
Hers is the first.
Second marriage for both.
We are trying to
last time the law of marriage.
Was present at the crucial moment?
How is it?
Birth.
It was... it was beautiful.
You must have been on the other end.
Okay, ladies.
I would like to sit.
Please crossed legs.
Having children and meet
other mothers helped.
Long thought not to belong to New Zealand.
Glad it's over.
Looks like you have milk in my breast.
Keep it up and I promise I will
their old bodies back.
I do not want my old body back.
I want it.
- Introduce it to us.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Katrien?
- Yes.
That's Pep.
- Pleasure to meet you.
- Hello, Pep.
Katrien Becker.
Pleasure to meet you.
- This is Pam smiling.
- Hi, Pam Nicholson.
Hi, Pam.
Pleasure to meet you.
I was homesick.
And the climate was a threat.
But then offered me
to be the second cellist
Symphony Orchestra New Zealand.
I could play again.
Everything changed.
And that was the first time I saw.
She was beautiful and perfect,
in a way that only can be foreign.
I got his eyes fixed on her as a baby
a hanging star on top of the crib.
As if nothing else mattered
worldwide.
Like she worldwide.
I love my children,
but there's nothing like toys
feet,
dirty diapers and sleep deprivation
to take more paternity.
Oh, for God's sake!
- Is using a condom?
- Yes, I am.
- Oh, I can not...
- This is the wrong house.
Oh, is now good.
Oh, is now good.
Do not stop.
After seven years of marriage,
think our sex life
is no longer that snatch hearts.
This, thus, do not stop.
Do not stop, do not stop...
Oh!
Sorry.
Seems I was very interested.
Let's sleep.
Hm!
Beautiful!
Present 80 concerts a year
on the road in small towns
playing Debussy and Stravinsky,
the most part, to people
Who think that Andrew Lloyd Weber
is the best songwriter of all time,
is not quite as exotic as it sounds.
I miss the kids terribly.
I miss Klaus.
The first hotel bed alone is lush
,
then feels lonely and
starts getting frisky.
I wanted to make a surprise for Klaus.
But not like this.
Like all couples,
Klaus and I had our share
experience of ups and downs.
- Katrien, please.
- Fuck you!
- And take with you this little bitch.
- It means nothing.
What?
This is definitely one of the low.
Take this.
I will not wash it.
And take your bitches with you.
Your pervert!
Mom?
Hello, my little monster.
What do you need?
I have to go to school today?
Why do not we go downstairs to a breakfast
and see how you will feel.
I do not want to go.
Well, I do not wanna go to
my essays
And Dad also did not want
to go to Parliament.
Come, let us put food
stomach that comes.
What time back home?
Simon, what time
will be home tonight?
Well, Boyle has office, then...
Do not be late.
I arranged a dinner tonight.
Oh, fuck!
Do not know about you, but
I could have a drink.
- Simon?
- Too early for me, sir.
- Julie?
- Do not start before eleven.
's Eleven
somewhere in the world. Health!
Someone?
- No
- . No, no, no.
As you know, this weekend
Where is our colleague
Phil has a heart surgery.
As he discovered he needed, I do not know.
Anyway, our leaders pointed me
as Acting Minister of Environment.
This theme invites us to work
to save this fucked world.
Sorry, honey.
Gotta have a whopping bag!
Simon has the details.
All that is needed to be
taken into account...
I'm sorry.
Besides Organization for Cooperation
and Development meeting
in Berlin on climate change.
Climate Change?
Are you kidding me?
Protocol is our Minister
make the opening speech.
Christ!
I have to go?
Um-hum.
Will be the keynote speaker, sir.
Do not fuck me!
Oh, God!
Oh, forgive me.
What is it?
If my memory is correct,
is... a prophylactic.
A what?
Same as condoms, sir.
Only smaller.
- What did you do then?
- I flew it.
- It was with a lot of pressure?
- I was too much pressure.
- Of those with much delay?
- It.
That bastard.
Calm, all is not lost.
What I'm saying is that the hottie Julie
now realized that you are man
juice and very horny.
You
is a great comfort to me, you know that?
Mom!
Mommy, Mommy!
My monkeys, missed you guys.
- Hi, welcome home.
- Hello!
- You know, Mom?
- What?
I ate my beans
and I won the first time.
- Really?
- You were very good.
There were children?
Uhm, that joke was this?
Uhm, delicious!
Hey kids, why will not drink?
It has chocolate, my loves.
- What's wrong?
- No, nothing is wrong.
I'll tell you later.
I tell you later.
Oh, my God, are you kidding me!
When did it happen?
This morning.
The children were sleeping outside.
She took an earlier flight and...
caught them fucking in her bed.
Oh, you bastard!
- What can I do it?
- A fillet, thanks.
Of course.
Tell her to come to dinner with us tonight.
The mistress is speaking.
Now it's official.
Klaus is a bastard.
And you have to
dinner with us tonight, okay?
I feel so ashamed.
Tell her for me she can feel
angry, betrayed and hurt.
It is perfectly normal.
Lucy, stop staring.
No need to be embarrassed.
Shame is a useless emotion.
You are not very hairy, is it?
I think you're right.
My mother has so little hair.
Lucy!
In her ass.
Anything else?
- Pamela called.
- Um-hum?
Whether you take home two milks,
and cheaper sherry,
but still drinkable and...
something else does not happen to me.
- Great. What kind of milk?
- Creamy, she thinks best.
And you can, please
go home early.
And to bring something
for the kids to drink.
No artificial drink, since
overactive maintained.
So, will find it again, huh?
Well, she has about 80 years,
think it is already past the middle now.
- You know what I mean.
- Family Group... wives...
including the beautiful
artist what you told me.
Several times.
Katrien be there with her husband.
Oh, it's a shame.
Drinks at my office in ten minutes, buddy.
No, Archie.
Look, I promised Pam
go home early, so...
This is your first mistake.
Where should say
return home as soon as possible.
Sometimes you can
and sometimes you can not.
I am sure, Julie, or am I right?
Wake up.
Are looking.
- I did it again?
- Of course you did.
Sorry about that.
Anyway,
drinks at my office in ten minutes.
You will not leave me alone with that.
It is your decision whether or not
to stay alone with Archie bebo.
- Hi
- . Come with me.
- Hi, Simon!
- Get in there.
- There she is!
- Hey!
Come.
- Hi!
- Hi!
If you can not help yourself,
is best not to ask.
- Beautiful coat.
- Thank you.
- Do not touch that.
- Oh, no! It is to nibble.
Continue.
May go.
- Hi, Joanne.
- Hey!
- You're late.
- Affairs of State.
Oh, by the way, is not sure,
but I may have to go to Berlin with
Boyle in November.
What?
It is the month of my exams.
If you have bad news,
is safer to tell Pam
in front of visitors.
So she can not fit a backlash.
I'm just saying not to
drink too much, right?
You ever smoke too much, you always
smokes.
- Nicotine causes constriction
- Shut up!
Hi Pep,
wants a drink and a cigarette?
Do not get too cocky asshole crafty.
This means that a yes?
- Hello, darling.
- Hi, Pep.
Oh, hello!
Oh, come, come.
Oh, Katrien!
Thank you for coming.
Where is Picasso?
- What?
- We'll talk later.
Daddy does not live with us anymore.
Mom caught him in bed with a naked woman.
Oh, I see.
Alright then. Come on people.
Let's see Lucy and Mickey Mouse.
- I hope you're good.
- Thank you.
Klaus is a bastard.
Lucky bastard,
but still a bastard.
Has not been easy for Klaus
in New Zealand.
How hard can it be?
He wants to join this group of men
You spoke, Keith.
Where you talk about the
difficulties of being married.
- Is not that.
- Oh!
No more vague.
I'm sorry.
Apparently, it is not difficult
be married today.
- It is since 1970 for me, Keith.
- So you're wrong.
Today is more about
find the warrior within himself.
Well, if it was a group of women
was just looking inside the vaginas...
Sorry.
Katrien looked so vulnerable
that I wanted to hug her,
Stroking her hair, smell her neck
,
kiss her lips and kiss her nipples.
Kissing her nipples?
Jesus, where did that come from?
I could not believe what I
was thinking these things.
I thought nobody had noticed.
I noticed.
Funny that I never noticed the
Simon before.
Not that way.
He was angry with Klaus
because of me.
And I suppose that I appreciated that.
Children, bow their music.
Before, Pep
and I wanted to share something with you.
I'll tell them.
When you come out
you make your statement, right?
Ladies and gentleman,
I decided that I am a lesbian.
Nanny to increase the music, kids!
Both see this as a growth.
This is obviously important
for Pep and me too.
I hope to be loved for who I am
and Pep for what it is.
A Lesbian!
Oh, what a day!
Poor Keith.
Katrien and Klaus probably will reconcile.
Couples usually be reconciled.
I think Katrien and Keith
can come to understand,
meanwhile.
- It is not her type.
- I do not know which type would it be?
Apparently you are.
Well, I'm glad you find this amusing.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
Not Katrien told me that
she is sick of men.
She said that next time
you have a relationship
have to be with someone
shy and right as you.
Jesus, thank you.
Well, fuck.
I did not know that was
the style of Katrien.
Would have to be extraordinary from now on.
Katrien!
How difficult was
install me, remember?
His mother was ashamed of my paintings.
Thought they were not paintings.
We were happy in Berlin, Katrien.
We should never have left.
What you want, Klaus?
I behaved very badly.
I was very, very bad.
I'm sorry.
I'm sure he feels.
I did not want that to happen.
Not Sure it's my fault.
I should not have put the gun to your head
and forced you to have sex with that girl.
I do not want we finish.
She means nothing to me.
- But you had sex with her.
- It means nothing.
Oh, it makes me feel much better
, Klaus.
You do not understand that
sex is something precious.
Well, if sex is talk
as important, never talked.
I made dinner for four
families tonight.
I'm tired, right?
I can not pull the sheet
and feel instantly...
brand new.
Why not?
It's okay.
Good night.
Cool!
I'll drink a drink.
What happened to the woman
sexy fun and I got married.
I miss her.
Very clearly she does not feel the same
miss me.
You say you feel guilty because
has no libido.
How do you think I feel?
You make me feel like
if I had to apologize.
Mommy, I want to
bubbles chocolate.
Very well.
Have you ever laid in bed and felt guilty
for being excited?
We should not talk about it
- in front of children.
- How do you think she got here.
Go ahead,
because I tend to be scum.
Oh, for God's sake!
You know, every plant, every
animal, every bird, each bee...
How do you think that the Pope came here?
Okay, I get it.
I think you should at least try.
I fully agree with you.
Tonight, huh?
What time will be home?
Well, it depends on Boyle.
I know how the Pope arrived here.
Mom and Dad are only
talking, dear.
I know it.
By plane.
Can I ask you a question?
Of course.
Hey, Tim.
Let's have a few drinks.
Want to join us?
Another time, bro.
I have coffee with my niece.
How many nieces do you
think that this guy has?
How often do you and Joanne have sex today?
Well, we'll see.
When I finally got to go to bed
Joanne
makes sex whenever she feels ready.
The same happens to me,
I do
sex every time that Joanne feels ready.
- Why?
- Forget.
Listen, I need a favor.
Joanne is concerned with Keith.
Do you think the guy is fucked.
The wife wants to have sex with other women
and his masculinity must be shit.
She thinks we should give him more support.
Is not suggesting we join that thing.
Well, we can tolerate
only for a few weeks.
Look, the main objective of this exercise
Joanne is taking my back.
Come on, can be fun.
Furthermore, it can help with its
thing.
What thing?
What is man?
I do not have anything.
Listen, before we begin, I want you to feel
as if the house were to you and
are relaxed and comfortable.
We have snacks there too.
Hey, Klaus, good to see you.
How are you?
I'm fine.
Unlike you who is looking like a shit.
Kind words open doors.
Get out, you also
is like a shit.
Okay, we all know why we're here.
- Hey, Keith.
- Hey, Earl.
Can I put Tracy
in your bed partner?
Sandra is working,
then I do the honors.
Is, second door on the left.
I think the pillow.
Many men are confused about what it means
be a man today, so...
have to go beyond these expectations
and find out what
means this need.
So, let's run
and introduce ourselves.
Roger, would you like start?
Roger Resmison, systems analyst,
father of three, married to Elena.
My wife and I have not made love...
Made love for about five months and...
I think I know why.
She thinks you physically repulsive?
As?
I would like the group to discuss the issue
intercourse long term.
Do you think she feels
lack of this approach?
AND... Klaus.
Klaus Becher,
art teacher and painter.
Although anyone buy shit.
Katrien I married the day
before we came to Wellington
and that was a big mistake.
- Leave Germany?
- . Marry Me Not.
It's over.
That's it.
Not look for other legs,
ignore all others titties,
not dream of other xanas.
Must be hard to express
deep feelings in another language.
Not Sex is easier
be expressed in English.
German is a language very formal.
Thank you have shared this with us, Klaus.
And... Simon.
Hi, I'm Simon Nicholson.
Am first secretary of the
office of the Minister...
All quiet on the eastern front?
And I am married to Pamela,
my wife.
And I have two wonderful children.
Well, that's all, really.
Do you have a problem you would
like to speak to the group?
Uhm... no, no.
- Do not be shy.
- Fuck you.
We can tell the staff under
the umbrella of secrecy.
And nothing, shit,
can leave this room, huh?
See? There is.
You might want to present now, Harry.
Harry Ronyne journalist.
To be honest, I'm here
because my wife insisted that I come.
Good for her.
I'd really like to be doing something else,
Joanne but would not let me.
Maybe it's time to let down your guard
and touch his feminine side.
Believe me, Keith,
if I had a feminine side
'd be playing it all the time.
Hey, buddy, if you do not think
would play,
can go fuck right now.
Hey, maybe you can introduce
now, Earl.
Alright, then.
I am Earl, the fireman.
I left school at 15.
I have a daughter, Tracy,
she is the love of my life.
I think I'm here because I broke my wife.
Every time she contests the
my authority, makes me crazy.
A pus in the hospital twice...
three times.
I'm not proud of it.
Why do we do this?
Well, certainly caught our attention
for possible future
sessions on self-control.
Always have to express anger
with his fists, right?
Why do we always do this
in the first place, huh?
- Huh?
- Yeah, right.
Listen, I know you and Harry
do not believe much in the group.
- What? No, man.
- No.
You do not Vi was very comfortable
especially with the presence of the Earl.
He can not stay.
He has to take care of her daughter.
- He brings his daughter.
- Okay, Keith.
Where is your washing, partner machine?
What happened?
Tracy had a little accident.
- What kind of accident?
- Well, strange places.
I think she surprised her bed.
I took the sheets before
who passed down.
Before passed to the mattress.
You said now, Dad.
- Do not worry about it.
- Alright.
- You're still here?
- Hello, ladies.
Hello, Pep.
I hoped that Simon was there.
Shy and awkward.
- How was it?
- Uh-uh...
The group discussions are
strictly confidential.
I do not know what to say but shy
seemed to be her type.
Of course.
Cheers then, Keith.
Oh, it's cold outside.
Let's put your coat, dear.
We did not
know that way, is not it?
- I caught.
- Thank you.
Let me put this jacket on you.
- Oh, there it is.
- Excuse me.
One more here.
Seems a tent.
There is.
Alright, little beauty?
Come.
Segura.
Up.
Pick up your mother next week, huh?
Cheers.
- Well, gotta go too.
- So long, partner.
Goodbye, Simon.
What you talk about there?
I can not count.
What I can say is that the wife of the Earl
loves not having sex.
God!
You did not talk about us?
Uhm-Uhm . No
Make love to me.
- Seriously?
- It.
- It is late.
- So let's fast.
Come to me, my beast.
Oh, yes!
- Oh, how nice.
Oh, yes!
Ohhh!
Oh, yes!
You're my sexy man!
- Oh, shit!
- No, no, no. Comes.
- Oh, shit, shit, shit.
- Come on, baby.
It's okay. It is late.
We are both tired.
It's a shame.
This should not be happening
a man at my age.
Some women find flattering.
And Pam does not help.
Always pushes me.
Another night I asked if
she wanted to make love
and she continued reading a book.
What book?
How so, what book?
This is not the point?
- I'm curious.
- I do not know.
Something about farms in Provence.
So it's more serious than I thought.
Carry on.
The other time,
make fast, she said.
It was very fast. Quick
too.
And the good Lord knows.
It's like she does not give a damn.
It's like she forced a little
my premature ejaculation.
Two things.
First, fire does not hurt
no healthy woman.
Second, there is no such thing
premature ejaculation.
There is the
delayed orgasm and the sooner women
consult a doctor to see the condition,
- best for all of them.
- Oh!
- Who is this fucking guy.?
- Not even want to know the name.
Good Morning.
- I came to pick up the kids.
- Sure. Come in.
- Hi, Mommy.
- Hi, Mom.
Kimberly made pancakes for us.
Hi
You're spoiling them.
We were up late last night, so...
let them sleep a little longer.
Sally, go get your shoes.
- Um, was it tasty?
- Um-hum.
Kimberly looks cool kids?
She let us do whatever we want.
I do not need any dish washing.
- And they call it?
- Sorry, guys.
- Where are the others?
- Hey, baby.
- Exploring the creek.
- We go?
Yes, it is perfectly safe.
Simon is there.
Go on, then.
Go there.
And do everything that Simon say to you.
Let me guess.
The children were with Klaus last night.
Were still in my pajamas when I got
and of course could not find the shoes.
Any sign of the boss?
The artist and the resident did
pancakes with whipped cream.
- Bitch!
- I was bribing them.
It is difficult to engage in it,
can tell you.
Fuck, I think
is trying to say "fuck".
Well, we can eat.
The meat is totally fucked.
I'll get the kids.
Do not go too far, kids!
- OK!
- Okay!
Lunch is ready, kids!
Hi!
- Oh Hi.!
- Oh, my God!
Give me your hand.
- I fell!
- Yeah, you fell.
Wait a minute.
Promise I will not tell anyone.
- Thank you.
- Right.
- Run, Mother!
- Santa!
Daddy, he's stuck.
OK.
Children, stay back there.
Hey, okay.
He'll be fine.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Very brave!
All right.
- Come children.
- Come all.
Come on, come on.
He injured his leg.
Yeah, I'll have to shear the wool
to see what happened, is not it?
Um-hum.
- What do you think, Archie?
- Dog Food, partner.
Do not go shoot him in front of
the children, for God's sake.
I will not shoot him, Simon.
Give me some credit.
- Goodbye, little lamb.
- Say goodbye.
Lamb, goodbye!
- No!
- No!
- It was our lamb.
- Jesus was not our lamb.
It was our lamb, Lucy, dear.
It was our lamb.
Our wool had.
- No!
- Oh, for God's sake!
What?
It's okay?
Thomas is having an asthma attack
and not want to go back. Please
can drive my car
- for me to go in the back seat.
- Simon will direct.
You should go, dear.
Pam will direct.
You could drive?
I could not believe my luck.
Thank you, love.
When the planets align
thus, what can we do?
Hey, the first time in this place
thought I saw an ice cream parlor.
- There is one.
- I saw it first.
Well, as today was a hot day
think we all deserve an ice cream.
Is.
Is.
There is no light.
What place.
- Want a drink?
- Pam will be here soon.
Saw.
Well, all right.
Thank you.
Oh!
Thank you, Simon.
I felt wonderful.
But wrong.
Wrong is pretending to be happy
in a relationship when you're not
Wrong is accepting exhaustive pretense.
Maybe I've been selfish.
Maybe I was.
But I was not all the time
in my marriage.
And where it got me?
I heard you went
Katrien's car the other day.
That was the idea Pam.
I can imagine how you resisted.
For God's sake, Harry,
I was only nice to her.
Best keep it that way.
Oh, you who's calling?
Am I never jumped the fence
And walked fucking around.
While you and the other guys
are always partying,
I'm with Pam like a good boy.
And where it got me.
A wife who finds me boring.
Katrien finds me fascinating.
Do you remember how
that feeling, Harry?
When someone thinks you're hot.
And if I told you that Julie finds
exciting you?
- She thinks?
- No
The next phase was a dinner
family's house Katrien.
I told Pam that
would have to work until later
As I could.
If I were there late enough
Katrien could be alone.
For several hours thought
to retreat or continue.
Had to go home.
- Hi
- Hey.
- Come in.
- Sorry I'm late.
I had a lot of work.
No worries.
It's okay.
Please.
Thank you came just to tell me that.
I must say that now all gone.
Oh, so I'm even too late.
Alright.
I'm sorry.
While you're here, want to get
to have a drink.
Of course.
- Whiskey?
- Okay.
Only... Well, feel free.
OK.
Well, I see you met my pet.
Is.
Thanks.
Oh, just...
- Health!
- Health!
Children, were not you?
- All artists.
- Yes, it's Thomas.
It is amazing, so much freedom
and expressive colors...
- Should I go?
- Yeah, I guess.
Would be better.
Nothing happened.
But it happened.
I was officially fucked.
This had to stop.
Simon was married to one of my friends.
And I was corrupting
luring him first.
His reliability and his decency.
The kids are fine.
I Am...
- I'm so lonely.
- I...
- I'm so sad, Mommy.
- I know.
You'll be fine,
you just need to get out and meet some men.
Is.
Meet men.
- And you're... you're...
- Mom, please.
Look, you need to meet someone different...
Someone more like you.
- You know?
- Okay.
Thank you, Mom.
I'll be fine. Love you.
That's why I like it.
Is always a novelty.
I went to a concert,
Germany, when I was a student.
They say the empty
old streets are dead to dreams.
Are wet because of the time in Berlin.
Here, you can dream,
you can be anything.
If you put a cutaway tomorrow
and out saying, I'm your bitch,
No one will even venture to look.
I always thought a man wearing tuxedo
is not good.
Yeah, the other day I saw six guys
leaving the station naturally.
They should be uniform, I hope.
I mean, if a man finds
another man attractive
it really does not bother me.
American College
know what I'm saying.
A woman who loves finds a man attractive.
Now, as a woman can fall in love with
a man?
I am always surprised when
I see some guys parked
flirting in some blocks some transvestites.
Thank you.
If a woman finds attractive another woman
there is usually no sense.
The amazing here is that
to lesbians there forever.
Well, Pep also
understands this well.
All your women, you know?
She thinks Joanne attractive?
Yes, although she has slept with Katrien.
Fuck the hell!
Pep was sleeping with Katrien?
Before or after I have it dropped?
Hey, Katrien met someone.
Is not it great?
It is fabulous.
Who?
An Albanian instructor.
It seems kind.
I am so happy for her.
Yeah, me too.
Charlotte!
- Well, you make this wine?
- My uncle does.
Let's just stop breathing.
Do not you mean that alcohol is for me.
You need to try this one, mate.
You may find watery medium.
Is a bit thin.
Therefore leaked, is not, mate?
You are swimming instructor
of Katrien, is not it?
Yes, I am.
How did you meet?
I was in a pub and he
fell upon me like a scud.
No doubt fell.
You are not the only
acting fast here, Romeo.
He is so sexy.
You are so perverted.
Do not mind me.
I tell you to go in Berlin?
The site is described as idyllic.
We have to get to know.
Hung like a Japanese rhinoceros
walking down the street.
Pep, you realize that
the Japanese rhinoceros
is the smallest of all rhinos.
I noticed a twinge of envy, Harry?
Looks more like a pig
than a rhino.
Still gorgeous,
'm seriously considering
back in my sexuality.
Honey, I'll get some
drink for children.
- You could...
- No
Oh.!
Oh, stop!
You're so crazy.
Daddy, I had a little accident.
OK.
Oh, it is! Oh, it is!
- Gonna get?
- No
Hey!
I got the impression that
you avoided me yesterday?
God
do not know where you got that impression.
You
was so preoccupied with his toy.
This is childish?
Incidentally, returning
the fuck man.
How is the guy for you?
What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.
- Fuck you!
Fuck you too.
We have 4 questions on paper.
Here is his profile.
- Archie.
- Oh, here, right.
Luxurious Nothing I hope.
I hate working with big words.
You'll be monosyllabic,
but very convincing.
You'll love it.
Thanks, guys.
Oh, Simon, you can take
Pam climate this forum?
A lot of your kindness, Archie,
but she has exams this week, so...
Fair enough.
Hi, Archie.
I have two questions for you, doll.
Your passport is up to date?
Can you keep a secret?
Yes.
I want you to go to Berlin
us, my guest.
Oh,
is very generous of you, Archie,
but I have an exam in the
afternoon you will fly.
- He wants me to go to Berlin.
- I know that.
I'll put you on another flight.
And do not tell your pathetic
addicted husband in work
and do not intend to tell.
I want to make the biggest
surprise of his life
and want you to have some fun.
It will be our secret, right?
Archie, I...
No, it's out of the question.
Do not tell yet, think of it
and will be our little secret.
Archie!
I can not really go!
Of course you can.
Archie, sorry,
'm hearing the baby cry.
I have to go, right?
Thanks. See you.
What?
I can not. I have an exam.
And I have nothing to wear.
Honey, you do not buy clothes for traveling
,
you travel to buy clothes.
Joan, have two children
to create.
And a husband.
When was the last time you had a vacation?
Together, just you two, huh?
Good Morning.
I'm looking for Mr. Nicholson.
Oh!
Katrien.
Do not tell me you forgot lunch.
No Yes Julie, Katrien.
Nice to meet you.
Mrs. . Simpson, ah,
you already met.
Pleasure.
- Lunch.
- Good
Nice to meet them..
. Mrs. Simpson, may I ask
you a personal question?
Do you think older men attractive?
Well, Mr. Simpson
is an old man... now.
But to be perfectly frank with you
, Julie,
my answer to this question has to be
"no."
Right.
So Pep and I slept together.
That's none of my business.
After Klaus had left me,
Pep
came with a bottle of champagne and drank.
And she began to speak of
how much she wanted...
how much she wanted to sleep with me.
That's not my...
I said she was being ridiculous
,
she began to cry,
then fainted and I went to sleep.
I understand that you do not
want to hear about it,
but I want you to know the truth.
- Ready to order?
- Huh? No
Yet.
You're so...
- Strange?
- It.
I love you.
You need to know that
Nick and I are not together anymore.
- As?
- I was a complete idiot.
Do not need a man in my life now.
Neither he nor you.
So you can sleep with that kind
but can not sleep with me?
I can not, Simon.
- You will suffer.
- Maybe.
He's right.
- Hi
- Who do I see.
Hey! Hey.
Who can it be?
Tim Bristow, and...
- Linda!
- This is the Katrien.
You can call me Tim.
Katrien, what a lovely name! Dutch
, is not it?
Well, we should let them.
Children will
to a party on Tuesday
and not return home before eight o'clock.
No
- Are you sick?
- I'm leaving.
Good You work hard.
This will not take long.
Just a quickie.
Two fingers.
I do not have many regrets, Simon,
but I wished he had spent more time with my
children
when they were little.
Youth is certainly a short period of time.
You wake up one day and they've grown.
- What was I saying?
- Children.
Children?
Ah, children, is...
I'm coming, I'm coming.
I knew I had to put a stop to it.
But decided I should tell her face to face.
- Oh, God!
- Between.
I'm sorry I'm late.
Big mistake.
Let's rock and let's have a chat?
- We have not much time.
- It.
Oh!
Oh, no, no, no.
Are you okay?
I'm sorry.
Oh!
Oh, God!
Sorry, I feel ridiculous.
No, you're amazing! Obviously.
Oh, God!
Oh, boy!
Sorry, this never happened to me before.
Look, give me five minutes.
Five minutes and I...
'll be good.
Well,
kids will be back in a minute.
I'm free after eleven tomorrow.
Ohhh!
- I'd better tell you.
- What?
The children never saw her
grandmother before then...
going to Germany for a while.
But it is not Dutch.
, but she is a professor of history
at the University of Potsdam,
then we go to Germany.
Wait a minute.
When are you going?
In four weeks.
Is fantastic.
I'll be in Berlin.
Can be very good.
- You're not - I mean I dislike
the idea of my children go
to the other side of the world...
without me.
- In my opinion, it is illegal.
- I do not like it.
Why Granny does not come here?
Guys, guys...
And if Klaus wanted to take the children
to meet his parents?
Like Klaus would feel if
Katrien not give permission?
- Puto life.
- Exactly.
It's all about confidence.
Or do you trust someone or not.
Katrien and trust me...
I fucked one out.
I took a girl on film last week.
Sorry.
Oh, sorry.
I was at a spa, all flirting world
a girl at the bar
dodging carefree.
She invited me to her apartment.
It was incredible.
I forgot how good sex can be.
When I got home, I confessed everything to
Elaine.
Big mistake.
The unbelievable happened.
We have all night.
So good mistake.
She is insisting on doing at least...
twice a day since then.
Obligation of sex.
When you feel safe
will cut transaction.
What the fuck does that mean?
Obligation of sex is when a woman bride
or meets a man she thinks is good provider
to any descendants.
During this mandatory period,
she can fuck
hanging from a chandelier
a restaurant and even
upon a tombstone
during funerals.
With Katie went anyway.
When the obligation is cheap,
it reduces the requirement
for the minimum possible
only to avoid the obligation of
sex with another person.
You are a sick fuck.
What about the reality of minimizing
regarding demand,
he's absolutely right.
Mount of shit.
Who are the rapists
in this world?
They are fucking arrogant
like you.
Ah, enough already.
What gives you the right to call me
rapist?
Do you have the equipment,
guy ass.
You have a right only because
I have the equipment?
I think you heard me.
His wife walked
eating people, Earl?
- For God's sake, Harry!
- If I'm a rapist,
- then she is a cannibal.
- I'm warning you.
She has the equipment,
has some teeth,
have a good digestive system.
Let's face it, his wife is a cannibal
potential.
And you being a firefighter,
can take the baked people.
Earl!
Hey!
Earl, bring it back!
Put me down!
Your guy ass!
All right.
So where were we?
What?
You heard me warning him.
Oh, Harry!
- Well, your fucked!
- No, no, no!
Come fucked her!
- Come here!
- Earl!
- No!
- Get off me!
Are you fucking crazy?
Earl, sit down!
According to the German constitution
,
I can not participate in active combat,
can only be an observer or peacemaker.
Look what you are doing?
Your Children?
What's going on?
Get out!
Get out, now!
We are discussing something.
And you boys
may fall out as well.
The group ended!
Cheers.
Hey Archie, mind
if we stop at my house?
Promised to say goodbye
to Pam and children.
Yes, do not worry.
I already told you that I think Pam
too good for you?
Hey, do not leave her alone.
Never know.
I believe in my good looks.
I get, I get.
Is.
Has many shells here.
Put the lot here.
Hey!
- Who's that?
- Santa.
- Okay.
- Santa!
Oh, are you okay?
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, little man.
Who is it?
Hey.
- Hi, Archie, Maureen.
- Hi, Pam.
When you grow up you will be a politician?
Oh Yeah, good luck in Berlin..
Do not worry, your husband
blew everything will be okay.
- Good luck in the exams.
- Thanks, Archie.
Well, it's better we fly.
I went to say goodbye.
- Come hither, come hither.
- Yes
Uhmm..
All right.
- Love you, Dad.
- Oh!
You're in charge, right?
Can we?
Alright.
Say goodbye to the father.
Goodbye, Daddy!
Goodbye!
I had unconditional love for my family.
But I could not go back.
I already told you that Pam
is too good for you?
Archie continued repeating what
and started to think there was a reason.
Convenient!
We're colleagues, Simon.
This seems very understandable.
Well,
I suggest you go back...
now, if you please.
And if I need a cup of sugar
in the middle of the night?
I have work to do.
Goodbye.
You know where to find me,
if you need anything.
Um-hum.
I felt excited.
I felt nauseous.
As a double agent on a spy movie.
Being back in Berlin
made me feel displaced.
I do not know where I belonged more.
I just wanted to see Simon again.
Let me look at you.
- You are great.
- You too.
When they built this,
horses were facing west.
For France and England.
The Germans like to think that
are part of Europe,
but when the Russians came,
they divided the city
and turned their horses facing
to the USSR and Poland.
Then when the Russians left,
they turned the horse again.
Now they do not know whether
they are coming or going.
I have good news.
Well, I think that is good news.
There is a vacancy for a cellist
in the Berlin Philharmonic
and my old teacher think
I should do a test.
I was invited, of course,
but still not sure.
Oh, you have to go.
'll Never forgive yourself if not.
- Seriously?
- It.
I want you to take me to bed.
OK.
This time it will be fun.
- Do you want to meet?
- Yeah, I do.
- Oh!
- Hey.
What are you doing?
Come on, get dressed.
Let's have a few drinks.
No, I will not.
Come!
I need company.
If you have a German there piranha,
at least, should invite me.
Now, hurry up.
Who is it?
Is the room service.
I hope you know what you're doing.
- Simon is there?
- No, he is not.
- He has company?
- Company?
No, no.
You want a drink?
I want a drink.
Come, let's have a drink,
my guest. Come, come.
What shall we drink?
Well, anything that packs later.
Holy shit, Pam!
Hey!
What are you doing here?
Well,
loved to see you too, Harry.
Well, do not expect to see
you, because we are in Berlin.
I'm here to surprise Simon.
Simon?
Simon is not.
- It is with Boyle.
- It. With Boyle.
- Oh, I'm going up then.
- Why you...
Why do not you have a drink?
- Uh, no, not now.
- Come have a drink.
- Pam Come, come.
- No, no.
- Oh! Oh!
- Uhm!
- Look at you.
- Uhmm!
Come, Pam, only a drink.
Harry, I flew halfway around the world.
I just want to freshen up.
You can cool off after.
We are in Berlin,
for God's sake!
Look, Simon is out.
I will not let you pass
the first night in Berlin
Locked in a room hotel alone.
Harry, is not a good time.
Look, seriously.
Wait, Pam.
What a beautiful coat.
Is wool?
Champagne for Mr. Nicholson.
- Oh!
- Ah!
Probably some mistake.
- Simon Nicholson, room 627?
- Yes, it is ours.
Wait, let me see.
Can not be.
- Ah!
- Surprise!
Oh!
Oh, yes, please.
- Champagne, right?
- My wife.
- Mr.
- Here. Oh, no. Yes
Very generous.
Thanks.
How do you know?
Well,
Archie, he is terrible
to keep secrets.
Look at you.
Oh!
Uhhh!
- Someone's happy to see me?
- Oh, yes.
- I left my purse there.
- I took.
Oh, and this.
Can I use your bathroom, please?
Make yourself at home.
- Oh!
- Oh!
Oh, baby, that tasty.
Oh, fuck me!
Oh, my pretty!
Oh, fuck me!
Fuck me! Fuck me until my eyes bleed!
Shhh!
Hey, shh. Control up
Bastard.
Is a married man and
that woman is his wife.
So why do you have the key?
Jesus Christ!
Ohh!
- What are you doing?
- I'm going for a run.
- Now?
- It.
In New Zealand it is still early.
It will help me sleep.
Be right back!
So how is the lover?
I think you probably already know.
Never had the pleasure.
Me neither.
- Katrien.
- That was a fucking mistake!
What?
What?
- Katrien! Hey!
- Taxi!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
How would I know that Boyle
would make me a surprise.
It was a surprise, you know,
I did not expect.
Come, come.
I was horny when you Pamela...
Yeah, I heard the sound
across the wall.
- It's... Please, come here...
- I do not want to talk!
- I imagined being with you.
- Do not... talk to me!
Hello.
Who is speaking?
The Hi Katrien is, please?
Who is speaking?
Well, I would like to talk to
Katrien.
She is not...
Archie?
Strange, I'm trying to call the Archie
to wish you luck with the speech but...
- nobody answers.
- Oh!
PLANET IN DANGER.
Oh, shit!
Thank you, fellow delegates.
When we say that the sky is the limit,
mean that everything is possible,
as if the sky had no limits.
But this is not the case.
If you catch a train
from one side of Berlin to the other
,
you travel 50 km,
which is nothing
Compared with the rest of Germany.
But if those same train tracks
are placed perpendicular to
the surface of the Earth,
50 Km could take them to the
end of the atmospheric layer,
through the ozone layer, besides
the stratosphere,
and you would be on the
edge of outer space.
So if outer space can be achieved
by a train trip
then the sky is very limited, in fact.
You wrote that shit.
If you look at the clouds on the horizon,
Floating so beautiful from a distance,
need to understand that
the world below them
is struggling and suffering.
Come, come!
Come.
Come, come, come!
- Hello? Hi
- . Hello?
Oh! Hi
Hello?
Hello, Simon.
Are you?
Simon?
Pam listen.
Okay, you have a right to be angry.
Do not want to talk to you
your fucked!
Hi, could call a taxi to
take me to the airport.
Yes.
This is crazy.
Talk to me!
I do not want to see you again
anymore.
You know what makes me more pissed?
You did not have sex with a stranger
one you fucked my friends.
You were so cruel.
Also was a bummer.
Compared to
dry, dusty surface of the Moon
Earth looks moist and alive.
We should do everything possible
to keep it that way.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
When we say that the sky is the limit,
mean that anything is possible.
- Oh no.
- Oh, yes.
But this is not the case.
He will do the same
speech again.
Someone must've put two copies together.
What incompetent fucked!
Compared to the rest of Germany.
But if those same train tracks...
Ah, this guy will end up packing a
fucked collision.
For God's sake, Archie,
do something!
Ah, I'm trying to sleep
, Maureen.
What you have in mind?
You are visitor
Minister of the Crown,
call the Department
Diplomatic or something.
Jesus Christ!
What the fuck is going on here?
Archie, his sexy old lecher!
This man needs a drink!
Heard the woman, this man
need a drink!
Ah, I'm proud of you.
- Hey, where is Simon?
- He's resting.
Hey, excellent speech today.
Serious?
I almost lost me in the middle.
No, impossible.
Middle Delegates seemed impatient.
You were spectacular,
capitalized.
Where is Maureen?
Oh, she's in bed.
She had a great day,
the poor thing.
Gentlemen, I'm out.
Ladies,
a little place for your local member.
Yes.
Well, tell me you speak German?
Someone should put a leash on him.
- I'm from Hamburg.
- Yeah, yeah, Volkswagen.
It is!
I love you all!
- Hey.
- Hey, bro.
Hey, you missed a great party.
This is the story of my life.
Where is Pam?
Pam.
You are high.
Harry, there you are.
- Look at you?
- It.
Look.
It's over.
Hey, I'm still standing.
Uhm... yeah.
Pam know.
Shit, man, I did not tell you.
there!
Katrien hates me.
Pam also hates me.
Boyle fucked my speech!
Is.
Ah, I need...
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, what the fuck you're doing?
What are you doing?
Huh?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
- Huh?
- Ahhh!
Okay, enough.
Enough!
Go to bed!
- I go to bed.
- Go to bed.
I'll call...
- Open it, motherfucker!
- Go to bed!
Open, I tell you!
Come here.
Hey, are you man?
Hey, hey, we're both
in shit now, huh?
Look.
Oh, shit!
- It.
- Shh.
- Jesus! Fuck!
- Enters.
Who fucking, through the window?
Ah, the chair.
Thank God, I found that someone had jumped.
Fuck!
What is it?
Not so fast, son.
Do not want a diplomatic incident we?
- Give me your wallet.
- Huh?
- Understand?
- Ya.
Walk, walk, walk.
Gives me, Simon.
Right.
Put the damages on my account, right?
And Harry needs a new room...
No, no, no.
I'm staying here, Archie.
- Okay. Copied?
- Yes.
I think we can all get some sleep now.
Jesus!
Fuck!
- I'm sorry.
- Get out!
Ah, damn!
Ah! Ahh!
Oh, yes!
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Hey, sorry to wake you.
Do you have clean towels?
We're done.
Oh, I get it for you.
And that will be something left
in your mini-bar?
Our is empty.
I'll take a look.
Oh, Tim!
Irish Cream.
Fantastic thing, you know?
I experienced in the American bar.
I forgot, you've been there.
Tim!
I'm alone!
Jess is alone.
Hey, can I ask?
As those pills worked with you?
- Go away.
- Okay, okay.
Hey, take care, bro.
Hey.
Oh, fuck!
Oh!
How did you sleep?
How do you think I slept?
I think I screwed up.
I received an email from Pam.
She wants to separate.
Can you believe that?
Who separates a man by e-mail?
Luck not a torpedo.
She thinks I do not love her anymore?
- Do you love?
- Yes, I love her.
But I'm not in love with her.
Here's a tip, never tell her.
I am passionate about Katrien.
Mount of shit, man.
For the love of God!
You had your case.
Leave well.
You do not understand, right?
Anyway, I can not do that.
I have not had...
What do you mean?
Is a long story.
I did not have... you know...
sex.
Does not matter.
I've been there, partner.
've Been thinking with my little head.
Not worth shit.
Look man, I know that
thing will mess up.
And I know people will get hurt but...
Harry, this may be my
last chance at happiness.
Alright.
If you really want good advice,
go straight to the airport right now
,
and catch a plane home,
and when you get there,
fall to your knees and ask Pam forgiveness.
Harry,
my last chance of happiness.
If you ever feel like that again...
Be a man, get out.
- Happiness.
- Go home.
- Happiness.
- Go home.
Happiness.
Hello?
Hi, it's me.
Simon, I have nothing to talk to you.
Please do not call again.
- What are you doing here?
- Right. Fucked up, is not.
What happened?
Well, things got a little crazy
after you left.
I threw a chair by the window of the hotel,
Boyle ruined the speech,
Pam left back,
Harry did not want to talk to me again
is not lost and I thank my
employment.
All I know is that
wanted to see you again.
I'm sorry.
OK.
Why Pam returned?
She knows.
She...
She knows.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
She wants separation.
Oh!
This is crazy.
Is a fucking crazy.
Katrien, what that means to you?
Because...
eventually not know how to say,
but if we are to be together, then
, will be what will happen.
Together?
Together?
Simon, I...
I love you, you know that.
But you love.
- It was the word he used...
- No
You said you loved me...
I said
"love."
"love."
What matters it now
have a million things
I could have said or...
could not have said.
I mean, I was hurt and needed.
And you were bored... and impatient.
Oh, boy, I feel horrible.
You know that does not want
the separation, Simon.
I do not.
Enough.
Enough.
You need to go home.
I learned an important lesson in Germany.
Unconditional love lasts forever
as conditional love has a very short life.
It was the longest
flight three days of my life,
and besides, when I got home,
Pam told me she had slept with someone else
and that she wanted a divorce.
Tim!
Hi
Not expect to see you here, bro?
Is.
Do not tell me that his wife
expelled him from home too?
Not exactly.
I just told him to get out,
and now you have to go shopping.
A pair of pillows,
pliers, pots and things
to build a house.
- It is.
- It.
Same here, bro.
Is a fuck of an epidemic.
Look.
City of Separation.
City of Separation, bro.
Is.
Here, as I join the group of men
of you?
Not The drug my wife.
Only let me see the kids
on certain days of the week.
I do not know if they
could match day, but...
The group no longer exists.
I'm sorry.
How are you keeping, bro?
Well, one day at a time.
One day at a time.
Continue, bro.
Carry on.
I did not dare to tell Tim
felt that the greatest scoundrel century.
Hid my feelings as so did Tim.
- How is the apartment?
- Well small.
Children do not seem to mind though.
Still need to buy furniture.
Mobile did not enter the agreement?
Get out!
What do you think is this?
Los Angeles?
I wanted to see you and Joanne
make one.
I'm afraid you're mistaken.
We would sit and we would
go carefully and calmly.
In case of divorce,
Joanne would get everything
including the clothes I'm wearing now.
I was invited to play at
the Berlin Philharmonic,
I accepted.
Klaus returned to stay
closer to the children.
He lives a few blocks away.
We are able to share custody.
He paints landscapes from distant places.
He is happy.
The kids are happy too.
Careful, careful.
Do not over tighten.
- Hey.
- How are you?
- You?
- I'm good.
I'm fine.
I made a list of things to divide.
I'm sure that is fair.
You know, for the record,
no matter what happens,
no matter what you feel,
does not matter what you think,
I love you.
I think you pretty incredible.
And I regret not having shown enough.
I could, I should, and did not.
I'm sorry.
I who should apologize.
Not Enough blame.
Daddy, Daddy, I
four crabs for you.
Oh!
Oh, now I only have three
crabs for you.
Let me take a look.
Look! Is not that fantastic?
You take care of them for me, right?
Need to have a talk with Mom.
- Come here.
- Sure.
Gives me a hug.
You should read it.
No, okay.
I trust you.
- Seriously?
- Completely.
Must be a lovely feeling.
Come here.
Pam and I used to think were the only ones.
But now we know that we
belong to the graph,
Like everyone else.
We might bother us with our infidelities.
She did not tell me he slept with
,
only that it was a fantastic lover.
As if I needed to know.
Pam went to bed with Klaus.
Perhaps this has helped to
to forgive Simon.
They are together again,
which is good.
I do not expect she'll forgive me.
I think of Simon
from time to time.
I wonder if he thinks about me.
Love is an undulating sea
is time that water moves away,
leaving it aside,
Then
you have to be strong and patient
and wait for the moon and stars
work the magic again.