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Severance (2006)
Mr George, help us.
- Help us. - I'm sorry. - You fucking pig! Fuck! Nadia. # Over bridge of sighs # To rest my eyes in shades of green # Under dreaming spires # To ltchycoo Park that's where I've been - # What did you do there? - # I got high - # What did you feel there? - # Well, I cried - # But why the tears there? - # Tell you why # It's all too beautiful # It's all too beautiful # It's all too beautiful # It's all too beautiful Hi. My name's George Cinders and I'm the President of Palisade Defence. We're hitting a home run for freedom and a time out for terror. We work hard to bring you up-to-the-minute technology. Memo. "Must congrat George on terrific performance." Er, no, delete "terrific", make that "fabulous performance". For 75 years we've been supplying the world's greatest nations with the world's latest weaponry. So when you see this symbol, you know you're in safe hands. We have offices in New York, London, Tokyo, all over the world. Oh! Whoo-hoo! Jesus! Go on, girl. Go on. Yep. Yep. - What are you doing? - Ordering myself a birthday present. Alright, team, can we have a little less talking, please? Does nobody care about our marketing strategy? I care. Or what about our CRM- 114 landmine, the Platoon Buster? "What Ordinance?" magazine calls it "The most exciting development in concealed termination in years." Weapons you can trust. Anti-personnel devices you can rely on. That's trust. That's reliability. That's Palisade. As I speak, our team of dedicated individuals are touring Eastern Europe, bringing the Palisade message to you. - They couldn't be more excited. - Richard, why are all the actors in this video white? - They're not all white. - Blonde, actually. It's just a coincidence, that's all. If they were all black, that would be a coincidence, too? Look... Look, what is your problem exactly? You've made a recruitment video for the Hitler Youth. Ha! - Richard, Richard. - Oh, there! There you go, you see? What's he, an albino? Here's the P40 version five. Oh, yeah, OK, that's very sensitive. - It's not funny, Harris. Freedom, democracy, justice. With Palisade Defence, we'll win the war on terror. - I bloody hope not. - Thank you, Harris. # What will we do there? # We'll get high - # What will we touch there? - # We'll touch the sky - # But why the tears there? - # I'll tell you why # It's all too beautiful # It's all too beautiful # It's all too beautiful Something's wrong with the electrics in there. There's a short circuit. - Fire officer, coming through. - Sit down. Officer sitting. - No smoking! - Yes, I know. No cigarettes! Bob Marley! Bob Marley! Billy, what's the plan? George should be at the lodge with the food. - Good. And the paintball gear? - All in the brown bag. - OK, good. I'll give you $50 if you stop eating. I bought some mushrooms off a security guard at the road show. I gave him 20 euros and look how much he's given me. Look. - They look horrible. - That's cos they're magic mushrooms. How do you know they're not off the side of the road? No, they're proper. You can tell by the stalks. Look. - Eat those, you're gonna go crazy. - I think I've had these ones before. They give you a nice chilled-out one. And if you're wrong? I'll be somewhere over the rainbow getting fucked by the Tin Man. - Hey, what the fuck's going on? - You alright? - You alright, Jill? - Yeah. - The road's blocked. - Anybody need first aid? I might do in 20 minutes. We can go this way. I don't understand what you're saying. The road is fine. Yeah, well, the two roads meet up again. Look. It's just a detour! Go on, Richard. Alright, that's quite enough. I won't stand for this unprofessional behaviour. You hear me? Now, you are hired to drive, and drive you will, buddy. Is that clear? Great management skills, Dick. Really, really world class. I know it doesn't appear far on the map, but it all depends on the scale. - Well, what is the scale? - It's not on here. Well, an inch is usually a mile, isn't it? - No. - Well, we'll assume that it is. Well, we can assume, but it's probably safer not to. Every map I've seen, an inch is a mile. Are you saying I can't read maps? No. I'm sure you have an excellent knowledge of maps. It's just that, well, an inch could be two miles or ten. I'm saying goodbye. I'm going back to the hotel. - You're doing no such thing. - Then show me the lodge. The lodge is a mile down that road. Hang on. You're not listening to me. I am not walking anywhere. Don't squabble, gang. It's supposed to be a team-building weekend. Tell Richard. He seems to think we're on a walking holiday. Whoa. Wait a sec. Stop the coach! Stop. Hey, come on, let's talk about this. Stop the bus. Fucking hell! Stop the... Come on! Fuck it! What was that? Sorry. Probably just a bear. - Just a bear? - There are no bears in Hungary. - Are you sure? - Yes. Well, that's assuming we're still in Hungary. If we've crossed the border into Romania, then there are bears. If we're in Serbia, then I'm not sure. Well, that's really interesting. Are bears required to stop at borders? Is there some sort of passport control for bears? - You'd better watch your tone. - Or what? - Oh, please! - No. Or what? - That sounded further away. - There. If it was a bear, which it wasn't, it's moved on. Come on. I really think we should stick to the main road. No, this way is much quicker. Come on. I'm with Richard. Have I pissed myself? - What? - I feel damp. Well, you look alright. I'm not gonna touch you. - Have I pissed my pants? - I don't think so. - What's wrong with you? - I feel all damp. You're fine. You're fine. OK, so, er, working on the assumption that an inch is not a mile, what's the worst-case scenario? - An inch is a thousand miles. That's Steve. If he's messing around, he's in big trouble. Oh, no. We should stay with the bags. Steve, are you alright, mate? Jesus. Steve? I saw someone. Who? I don't know. What happened? The weirdest thing's just happened, yeah? I needed a slash, so I've pulled me trousers down, cos I felt a little bit damp and I didn't want to get a rash. I was about to have a piss and I saw a geezer with a balaclava and a suitcase. No, more of a travel bag. - So, you've come over... - Steve. - Yes? - The mushrooms. - What mushrooms? - You ate them. You're high. - Look after him. - OK, yeah. Listen. Now, I know we're mates, but, erm, if you look at my cock one more time, I'm gonna kick off. What are you talking about? I have not once looked at your winkie. You turn around. OK, everybody, prepare to smile. - Isn't it wonderful? - It's a dump. - What do you expect, the Hilton? - The Hilton would be good. - We're in the country. - You're not gonna stay here? - Right now, I'd sleep in a cave. - That's the spirit. There's someone in the woods. Yeah, you already said that. Come on. Come on. - This isn't the right place. - This is the right place. This obviously is not the right place. It is the right place. Billy? Well, there's only one lodge on the map, - so I suppose... - Thank you. This is... just the lobby. This place is fantastic. Steve. It's just a rope. It's just a rope. "Dear team, as a big thank you for the last few weeks on the road, George and I cordially invite you to join us on a team-building weekend in Palisade's newly acquired luxury lodge." Luxury lodge. OK, OK, OK, now listen up, everyone. This is not a holiday. This is a business. And team-building weekends, like it or not, are part of that business. Hear hear! This is our chance to find out about ourselves. I mean, you know, sure, we'll have fun, doing, er, paintball, orienteering... - Bridge building. - Bridge building. We need to take ownership of the weekend. And that means working together. - Richard, I have an idea. - Shh, shh. I can't spell success... without U. And U... And U... U... And... U. Success has only one U. Oh, well. Daddy couldn't put us all through Cambridge, could he, Harris? Now, George wants us to be the best team possible. And if that means digging in a little, then I'm sorry. Think this place is a dump? Think about this. Maybe it's supposed to be. I've had tougher challenges. Now let's make this our challenge. Explain to me how staying in this shithole is gonna help me sell mines. Alright? - Don't be so happy all the time. - Only trying to be positive. You're not. You're like a dog tied to a radiator wagging its tail. That's not a compliment. Look for the generator in there, will you? Have you got any light bulbs in your bag, Gordon? Erm, yeah. Give me two secs. Hello? Hello? Oh, no. - I think you should get some sleep. - I think you're right. Maggie? I've been waiting for you, Richard. I want you to fuck me. Really? I mean, I'd like to. Fuck me now and fuck me hard. OK. But, erm... what's going on? Maggie? Great management skills, Dick. World class. I can't believe it. I had no idea Palisade were this involved in Eastern Europe. You're joking, right? - Where did you get this stuff? - Found it next to the generator. There's stacks of it out there. It's all Soviet. That doesn't mean it's one of the asylums. - It doesn't rule it out either. - What asylums? Right, grub's up. Put those cards away, please, Jill. Feast your eyes... on this. Mind yourselves, it is hot. It actually smells quite nice. - Not eating? - No, thanks. Not hungry. The rest of you, get stuck in. There's plenty. Do you want to get some spoons out, please, Jill? - Alright? Feeling OK? - Yeah, alright, piss off. - Are you still tripping? - No. Why are you naked? - Harris, what about the asylums? - What asylums? Harris seems to think we're in an old lunatic asylum. - Are we? - No. Tell us about the asylums. Are you sure you want me to tell you? It's pretty scary. - I'll take my chances. - OK. OK. This story takes place a long time ago, way before the First World War. Oh, please. When movies were silent and women were even quieter. The government was getting complaints about the asylum, so they sent an inspector to check it out. He arrives late one night to see what's going on. Everything seems fine, and the warders agree to show him around. But everything isn't fine. Everything's not fine at all. All the inmates are going crazy, screaming at him to let them out. Then he realises what's wrong. The inmates had taken over and locked up all the doctors. And then they turned on him. He tried to reason with them, but there's no reasoning with the mentally insane. Guess who they called to sort out the mess? Us. Palisade sent the boys in. Sprayed the place with nerve agent. Killed everyone. It was a massacre. But rumour has it... that one inmate survived, hell-bent on killing any Palisade employee that should cross his path. They say he's still on the loose. - Is that supposed to be scary? - Well, it was at the time. Believe it or not, there is a tiny bit of truth in his story. - Damn right! - A tiny bit. It occurred in the early '90s when the Soviet Union broke up. Places like this were detention centres for war criminals. Soldiers who liked the killing a little bit too much. They were lunatics who wiped out whole villages. Burnt people alive. Put heads on spikes. They were savages. Well-trained savages. Their government locked them away, tried to cure them, but it was no good. Some escaped. Hid in some empty buildings nearby, but not for long. Obviously it wasn't Palisade who killed them, it was their government. But it was us who supplied the weapons. Oh, and, Harris, if anyone did survive, revenge would be the last thing on their minds. - What would be on their minds? - Survival. Evading capture. These guys were war criminals, remember. Excuse me for being the only sensible one here, but this place is a lodge. It's not a mental home, it's not a prison, it's a lodge. - It was a sex lodge. - Right. - It was. I'm telling you. Back in the '60s, these places were hospitals for rich old men. All the nurses were these naughty- looking birds with big shooters. Anyway, being stuck all the way out here, they used to get really lonely, so they tried it on with the old boys. These poor old fuckers was on death's door. They couldn't get it up. So they decided to just get hold of each other. One day this fella turns up out of the blue. Young geezer. Bit of bollocks about him. They chased him. They caught him and, er, well, he was fucked. Have you ever taken anything seriously in your life? - Ecstasy and weed, I think. - Hey, gang. How are we doing? - Brilliant. Sweet dreams? Er... yeah. Harris. Hi, Maggie. Not eating? Why are you all so obsessed with what I eat? I am not too skinny. No, no, no, no. I don't mean... Just that you'll need your energy for the team games. I mean, you're perfect just the way you are. And when I say perfect, I obviously don't mean that in a sexual way. I mean perfect in a neutral way. As if I were another woman saying that you were perfect, you know? Just one woman to another. Not that I'm implying anything like that. Or that there's anything wrong with that... sort of thing. Or... anything. Keep digging, we can still see you. What the? A bit young to be losing your teeth, aren't you? It's not mine. - It's not my tooth. - Maybe it's just a clove. Does it look like a fucking clove? I'm gonna puke. - Could it be the cow's tooth? - A cow with gold fillings? Who made the pie? I didn't make it, I found it. - You what? - I found it. You found a pie? - It was wrapped in foil. - Oh, well, that's a relief. Jesus! You dirty bastard. - OK, everyone, calm down. - Come on, Jill. Jill, come with me. Ohh! I'm gonna be sick. OK, I'm sorry. I thought it was a welcome gift. - From who? - I don't know. George. George wouldn't bring a pie. It could have been sitting here for months. Look at this place. I cooked it for the full hour! - It had instructions on it? - No, but it's a pie. You don't cook every pie for an hour. - Do you think I undercooked it? - Fucking hell! Yeah, OK. Look, it's gone. I'm throwing the pie in the bin. Oh, right, that makes me feel better. - Night, sweetie. - Good night. - Oh! Shit! Hello. Hello! Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's the matter? What's going on? There was a man at my window. - What happened? - I saw someone. Where's my inhaler? - What's going on? - Jill saw someone. - Who? - What did he look like? - He had a mask. - Have you been at my mushrooms? - Is there anything to calm her down? - I'll check my bag. - Did you see anyone? - No. - What do you think? - You're the boss, you think. - Perhaps you were dreaming. - I wasn't dreaming. Look at me! His face was covered in a mask! I was not dreaming! I found some Kalms. They're herbal. Come on. There's no one here. Come on! It was probably just some locals messing around. Looking through a window one storey up? We need to get out of here. - Yeah, I'm leaving. - I'm going with her. - No one is going anywhere. - What did you find? There are wooden structures, but they're not near the window. - There. See? - This is what's gonna happen. Tomorrow, we go to the top of the hill, try and get a signal. Get somebody to pick us up, take us back. - Go on, my son. - Great idea. That is not a great idea. Leave, and you won't have a job to come back to. - I don't care. Count me in. - Yeah, I'm with her. - I'm sorry, but he's right. - Should I make some tea? Er, alright, listen. Jill, I want you to sleep on it. Then, in the morning, if you still feel the same way, well, then I'll come up with a plan. I feel the same way. OK, er, listen up, everyone. Er, Billy, get over here. Come on. Er, I've made a decision. We're going to sit tight. We... We sit tight while, Harris, I want you and Jill to go up the hill... ...to go up the hill and, erm, see if you can get a phone signal. Erm, get the coach driver to come and pick us up. Oh, sweet. I've made this decision purely because of the, er, food situation. And... And it is conditional. While they're gone, the rest of us will do a little team building. Yes! Nice one. Excuse me. Hiya. I just want to make it really clear, before we begin, that paintballing is about teamwork, right? So no Rambos. I repeat, absolutely no Rambos. OK! - Hey, how's your project going? - Pretty good, thanks. What are these things? Humane landmines, right? They're not landmines. They're immobilisation units. Right. And they do what, they sort of grab you, yeah? They pin you to the floor. They don't blow children's legs off. - They're humane. - They're a hard sell. I don't understand why, in the 21 st century, we create such sick weapons. The guillotine seems humane. - There's nothing humane about it. - At least it's instantaneous. There's nothing instantaneous about it. When your head's chopped off, your brain can think for three minutes. You're saying you're aware that your head's cut off? When Marie Antoinette had her head chopped off she felt it hit the basket. She saw blood pumping out of her own stump. - That's not true. - It is 100 percent biological fact. - Think he crashed? - I don't know. - Oh, my God! - We've got to get the others. We can't just leave him here! Can we? I'm not saying that I fancy anyone in particular. But if I did like someone, I wouldn't know the best way to approach them. - Dating's complicated in England. - English birds ain't complicated. Buy 'em a Bacardi Breezer and they'll ride you like Sea Biscuit. Yeah? But what if she's not English? What if she's, erm... French or Spanish or, erm... ...American? - Maggie? - Yeah. So what do you think? I think you've got more chance of getting shit out of a rocking horse. - Yeah, that's what I thought. Come on, I got you! Get up, you cheating bastard. See, all this Maggie stuff, it's cos your bird left you. It's cos your plums are backing up. It's driving you nuts. It's confusing you, making you think you love her. You're right. Anyway, I think she likes you. - What're you talking about? - Go, go, go! Hiya, sexy. We won. You're dead. The bullet missed my vital organs. I survived. It's a miracle. - Here we go. - Safeties off. Here comes the ref. Right. Oh, you really got into that. It was brilliant. We bent a few rules here and there. Steve shot Richard and he didn't die. - No one shot me. - We shot someone. Well, I think someone, and I'm not pointing any fingers, has been wiping off paint. And it does clearly state in the rules... This is total war. There are no rules. Ow! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop! That is really dangerous! Get one of those in your eye, it could pop like a ping-pong ball. It's not funny. That hurts. I expect more from some of you. Gordon, you've got to be still. Steve, get on the other side. Quick! - Be still. - Get it off! - You have to stop moving. Pull your leg out. - Now! Pull it now! - Pull your leg out now! Now! - You fucking idiot! - Alright, for fuck's sake! We'll get you out. Pull it out! Pull it out now! Pull it! - God! OK, Gordon... Shit! We gotta stop the bleeding. Billy, give me your belt. You're gonna be OK. You have to calm down, Gordon! Calm down! We're gonna stop the bleeding. They're everywhere. What the fuck's going on here? Billy, hold his hand! - Can you help me? - What are you doing? - Richard, help me hold him! Steve! We're gonna be OK. - Alright, people, get on the coach. - Stop! Don't move! - What the fuck happened? - Bear traps everywhere. Someone killed the driver. - The driver's dead? - Just get on the coach. - Somebody help us, please! - What are we gonna do? - He could be watching us. - You're not helping! - What do we do with his leg? - We need to keep it cold. - There's a fridge on the coach. - That's great, thank you. Oh, you're shitting me! Ohh! Come on! - Come on! - Alright! Alright! For fuck's sake! - Faster! - It's going as fast as it can. I need to cover his leg. Harris, slow down. I think you're going too fast. Someone give me something to cover his leg, for fuck's sake! Shit! Jill? Oh, shit! I think I've broken my arm. Billy. Jill? We've got to head back to the lodge. We've got to find Jill. Jill! Jill! Keep your voice down. Someone's killed Harris. Who's to say he didn't kill Jill as well? Now, we head back to the lodge and we lock ourselves in till morning and then we walk. Where? - I don't know. - I'm glad we got that sorted! Hey! Unless you have a better idea, we go back to the lodge. Palisade. Let's put him down. We need to lock ourselves in. Lock everything. - This is bollocks. Fucking bollocks. - We're safer in here. I'm not waiting for him to turn up. It's fucking madness. What do you suggest we do with Gordon? - I'll carry him myself. - Keep your voices down. - What if the stories were true? - Well, mine wasn't. What stories? They were asylums. Someone escaped, who knows we're Palisade. - How would they know that? - The bus. It's not exactly subtle. Those stories are nonsense. Who told you? Jill? Harris? Know how many conspiracies I hear regarding weapons companies? - No, how many? - I'll tell you how many I believe. None. We're a public company. Members of both our governments are on the board. They won't do anything immoral. Arguing is not gonna help us out. OK? You said you wanted us to work as a team. Well, now is the time to start. Look, just help me get some wood. We need to board ourselves in. Alright? - With what? - I don't know. Check Gordon's bag. He's not gonna have a hammer and nails in there, is he? Oh, for fuck's sake! Good boy. I've got some pills. What kind of pills? Ecstasy. - Great. Have a party. - No, not for me, for him. What do you mean? They're not gonna get him up tap dancing, but it'll take the edge off for a while. OK. Gordon. - Take one. It'll sort you out. - I don't do drugs. It's OK, sweetheart, these are painkillers. - They're gonna make you feel better. - Just take one. Here. Here you go. Here you go. You alright? I'm sorry about earlier. Flaring up and all that. You were OK. Listen, I wanna say something to you. Sometimes I act like an idiot, you know? I say things when I shouldn't and, er... Shit, I've left Gordon's foot on the the coach. Sorry, mate. I love you, Maggie. - Of course you do. - No, seriously. I mean it. I really mean it. - It's just the drugs, Gordon. - No, it's not the drugs. I really, really, really love you. And I loved Jill. I really, really, really, really loved Jill. - Steve, have you got any downers? - Not my thing. Maggie. Maggie, have I told you that I love you? - Where are you going? - Toilet. Can't you hold on? No. Don't worry, I'll be right back. If we don't get him to a hospital, he's gonna die. I think maybe... we should leave him. What are you saying? I think our best chance for survival is if the four of us get to the main road and get help. And I think it's Gordon's best shot as well. I think you're right. I think we should go. Go where? - What's happened? - This door was locked. Gordon? - Gordon? - Billy, be quiet! Conspiracies? We should go back upstairs. - Maggie? Richard? Richard? - Fuck! Jesus! Ohh... Yeah, well... I'd hate to be accused of not killing him when I had the chance. Well... I think you'll be alright there. Come, come. - Don't you fucking move! - We got a problem. - Yeah, no shit! No, we got another problem. That was our last bullet. Put your fucking guns down! Put your guns down or I'll blow your motherfucking balls off! Let's go. Stop. Stop! - What are you doing? - Don't move. The place is mined. - How do you know? - I'm standing on one. CRM Platoon Buster. One of ours. - Oh, shit. - Yeah. Where's Billy? - Richard, they're coming. Alright, follow my footsteps, then jump to the trees. Go. Come on. Hey, come on! Come on! Over here! Come on! You're laughing at me? You won't be fucking laughing when I take my foot off this. # Yo, pretty ladies, around the world # Got a weird thing to show you so tell all the boys and girls # Tell your brother, your sister and your mama too # Cos they're about to throw down and you'll know just what to do # Wave your hands in the air like you don't care # Glide by the people as they stop to look and stare Hey! Maggie, Steve. Where the hell've you been? Are you Mr Steve? We are Nadia and Olga from the escort agency. Yeah, come on, everybody. Why not? Be my fucking guest. - Is this where we are? - Whoa. What are you doing? - Have you been to the lake? - Yes. - Are there boats? - Yes. Leave your shit and follow us. Ready? - Yeah. Would someone please tell me what the fuck is going on? George, there are about five seriously sick fuckers coming our way to kill us. So you can either help us or fuck off. When you say sick fuckers, what do you mean? Terrorists? - Call 'em what you want. - Come on. Let's go. Hold it. No one's going anywhere. I've been waiting to demonstrate this for a while. You stamp "terrorist" on it, and I'll kill it. - Wait till they get a load of this. - Sweet! Are those the little bastards? - Alright, get back. Steve? Steve! Steve! - Where are you? - Steve! - Maggie? - I'm in some kind of trap! Steve, he's coming! Oh, my God. No! No! God! Steve! Steve! No! Please! Please! Get off of me! Steve! Steve! This is gonna hurt. Steve! Steve! Steve! Hello. Hello. Do you speak English? - English? - Yes. English. I need you to send help. - I need help. - Yes. Please hold. Come on, then, you fuck! Foursome? # We'll meet again # Don't know where # Don't know when # But I know we'll meet again # Some sunny day # Keep smiling through # Just like you always do # Till the blue skies light the dark clouds far away # So will you please say hello # To the folks that I know? # Tell them I won't be long # You'll be happy to know # That as you saw me go # I was singing this song # We'll meet again # Don't know where # Don't know when # But I know we'll meet again # Some sunny day We'll meet again. Don't know where, don't know when. But I know we'll meet again some sunny day. Keep smiling through, just like you always do... ...till the blue skies light the dark clouds far away. # So will you please say hello # To the folks that I know # And tell them I won't be long? # You'll be happy to know # That as you saw me go # I was singing this song # We'll meet again # Don't know where # Don't know when # But I know we'll meet again # Some sunny day # The sun is shining # I can feel the good times coming on # Oh, there's no point trying to fight it # We've been running away for way too long # So there's a storm on the horizon # Feels like there's trouble on the way # But if you take my hand # And I'll take your hand # Then there'll be no need for us to stray # At least not today # We're summertimin' # I can feel the good times coming on # Coming on |
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