1
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Suckin' genie,
I want that weenie
Fuckin' genie,
pump that weenie
Pulse up to me,
I'm so dreamy
I'm so dreamy,
windows steamy
I'm your fuckin' genie
Thrust my butthole,
my pussy throttle
Want that weenie,
fuckin' genie
Pump that weenie,
porno sex show
Watch that ho
saying "A-boo daba, baby"
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
I'm your suckin' genie,
want that weenie
Fuckin' genie,
pump that wee-wee
Tube steak candy,
cracked and blurry
Your cock so plenty,
want that dickie
That's so tasty,
my coffee candy
Squirt so sticky,
tastes so dandy
Heart my andy,
feeling filthy
12-inch chubby,
saying "A-boo daba, baby"
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Give me a sign
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh
Ooh, uh uh-uh-uh uh,
oh-ooh, uh-huh
Ooh, uh uh-uh-uh uh,
chicky-chicky, ooh
Uh-huh
Ooh, uh uh-uh-uh uh,
oh-ooh, uh-huh
Ooh, uh uh-uh-uh uh,
chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh,
uh-uh-uh uhh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh,
uh-uh-uh ooh, chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Uh-huh, ooh, uh
uh-uh-uh uh, chicky-chicky
Ooh, uh-huh, ooh,
uh uh-uh-uh uh ooh-ooh
Oh, yeah.
Ooh... ooh.
Ooh! There!
There it is, Professor.
- Do you see it?
- Yes, yes, I can.
Doctor, these images
are fantastic.
It bears out your theory
to the letter.
I thought you'd like
to see it for yourself.
Incredible. It seems to
have a life all its own.
That it does.
And because it continually
searches fiercely
for sexual encounters,
I've lovingly nicknamed it
the "sexipede."
I can understand why.
It seems to live off
the energy
of the human libido.
Okay, here's the problem.
The moment the sexual
encounter concludes,
it dematerializes,
as if it never existed.
- Amazing.
- Mm-hmm.
That was incredible.
We aim to please, baby.
That's what the Sexy Spa
is all about.
When are you
available again?
Call anytime, sweetie.
For you, we'll get you in.
That's what I like to hear.
Tell your boss I'm applying
for a deluxe membership.
Thanks so much, darling.
I hope to see you again
soon, okay?
Count on it.
Remarkable, Doctor.
We have to announce
our findings
to the scientific
community at once.
Oh, not so fast, Professor.
I'd like to do
some more research.
I don't understand. You've
shown me undeniable proof that...
That during intercourse
something odd
and heretofore unknown appears
inside the human body?
But to me,
this is very impressive.
You know what would be
more impressive
is if I could find out
exactly what it is,
somehow extract it,
and then study it for more
detailed information
and how it affects
the human body during lovemaking.
- Won't that pose a challenge?
- Perhaps.
But, if I could get
one of our clients
or workers here at the spa
to volunteer for an erotic exam,
then I could study it
for detailed information.
Be careful, Doctor.
You're playing
with the unknown here.
If this sexipede of yours
gets loose in a place like this,
no telling
what would happen.
Don't worry, Professor.
I'll be very wary
of the dangers.
Good. Keep me posted.
Trust me. I've got it
all under control.
Fine. Then you'll meet me
in my office after.
We'll go over
the day's notes.
Don't worry,
I will be there.
Fine. Till then.
I know what
you're gonna say, Kayla,
I'm late for my 1:00.
Actually, Doctor,
Professor Jones asked
if you could take
his next appointment.
He said he's stuck in a meeting
till at least 2:00.
Well, that's funny.
He was just here and he didn't
mention anything about a meeting.
Well, that's what he told me
right before lunch.
Okay, well, all right.
Just tell her
I'll be with her
as soon as I finish
debriefing Lucy.
Will do.
Excuse me, Mrs. Reid.
I just spoke
with Professor Jones
and he wanted me
to let you know
that our other on-site
physician, Dr. Anderson,
will be able to see you
in about 20 minutes.
Thank you, but I don't think
I can wait that long.
Please. I can see that
you're very pent up,
and if you came to Sexy Spa
to relax and unwind,
I just know there is
a very good chance
that Dr. Anderson
can help you.
I've seen her work wonders
with other women
just like yourself.
Yeah. I don't know.
Look, you came this far
and you waited this long.
At least talk to her.
I suppose you're right.
Of course I'm right.
Now, come with me.
I think
you could use a drink.
Well, Doctor,
how did it go?
I think your client
was very happy.
No, silly,
I mean the experiment.
- Did it appear again?
- Oh, yes.
Oh, and this time
Professor Jones was there to witness it.
He was quite astounded.
That's so cool! What does
the sexipede look like?
Does it have fins
and teeth and stuff?
Oh, not quite.
More like a night crawler
on steroids.
Wow!
Wish I could see mine.
Actually, you can.
I taped the whole thing
in high definition.
Come by after your shift.
I'll show it to you.
That's so rad!
So, did you figure out
what "it" is?
Well, I've been doing
some thinking,
and I think it might...
now, I say might...
be some kind of creature
that's manifested by
our brain's sexual energy.
I don't understand.
Okay, well,
think about it this way:
every time we get horny,
this sexipede comes out,
and as our urges
get stronger,
so does the creature
until only an orgasm
can quell it
and diminish it
into nothingness.
And you say
it's in all of us?
Oh, yeah,
probably since puberty.
Makes me proud to be part
of medical history and all.
Oh, Lucy.
You're the perfect volunteer
for my sexual experiment.
You're always so open to
fresh experiences and new things.
- What do you mean?
- Hmm, I think it's about time
for you to explore
your sensual side with another woman.
I've never
done that before.
I mean,
I've thought about it,
but it's always been
more of a sexual fantasy.
Well, I think that we should
make that a real experience now.
You mean...?
Yes, I believe it's time for
that bugger to come out again.
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Oh, yes
Oh, yes
Oh, yes
Oh, yes
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
- Ask for me
- Oh, yeah
Ask for me
Ask for me
Ask for me
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
I never heard of a spa
serving hard liquor before.
Well, we're not
technically licensed,
but for some reason the cops
tend to look the other way
when they come here
for a massage.
Sounds good to me.
Down the hatch, then.
We like to think
of ourselves
as a sort of Garden of Eden
for sensual healing.
You know, Nurse Smith,
even without a mattress,
you have a wonderful
bedside manner.
So I've been told,
and it's Kayla.
We like to keep things
on a first name basis here.
Makes it
a lot more friendly.
Well, Kayla,
let's be friendly.
Yes, let's.
Oooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Uh-huh
Ooh ooh
Uh-huh
Uh-huh
Uh-huh
Oooh, ooh ooh
Uh-huh
Oooh, ooh ooh
Uh-huh
Oooh, ooh ooh
Uh-huh
Oooh, ooh ooh
Uh-huh
So, Diana, welcome
to Sexy Spa.
Nice to be here.
I take it Kayla has shown you
around the grounds
and introduced you
to our many facilities.
Yes, she did. I have to say,
I love the personal service here.
Okay, so it says here
on your application
that you are looking
to renew your marriage
by joining the spa
as a couple?
Yeah. I saw
your commercial on TV,
and I thought what a great place
to keep our love vows alive.
So what's the problem
at the moment?
Well, I guess it started
about five years ago.
I met Mark through one of those
online dating services.
It's gonna sound
a little clich,
but it was love
at first sight.
The moment we met,
we were connected.
He put me up
on a pedestal.
Whatever my heart
desired, I got...
fine jewelry, clothes,
a Mercedes.
You name it, I got it.
He's a lobbyist
in Washington,
- so money wasn't an issue.
- So what is the issue?
I guess it's our
sexual relationship.
- It's stuck in first gear.
- So what you're telling me
is that you make love
strictly by the numbers.
He doesn't like to vary
whatsoever,
let alone try something new.
Hmm. You know, you might be
surprised, Diana,
but a lot of women
have the same problem.
- Really?
- Oh, yes.
Professor Jones,
the man who owns this spa,
devotes an entire chapter
to this problem
- in his latest book.
- What's it say?
Well, according
to the professor,
when a man weds
a beautiful woman,
subconsciously he becomes more
and more afraid of hurting her.
And this can fester
to the point of him
thinking that she might
walk out on him,
either with a man
or a woman.
Hmm, that sounds terrible.
Oh, it's a vicious cycle
that can grow acute over time
to where even a man
who is sexually charged
will refrain from having
intercourse with his wife
for fear of hurting her.
Well, Mark's not
that far gone yet,
but I could see that
happening.
- How so?
- Well, the other night,
we were about
to make love,
and Mark immediately fell
into his usual routine
of turning off
all the lamps.
But before he could,
I stopped him.
I told him this time I want
to do it with the lights on.
I swear, he looked like
a scared rabbit.
Was he able to perform?
Oh, he did fine,
but I could tell
he felt nervous
veering from the usual.
Who has got you, baby
Down on your knees,
it's time for confession
Tell me, baby
You're already happy
if you're my possession
You can speak tonight
What's got you hypnotized
Even lovin' right
I can see the fire
in your eyes
Lovesick, baby
I've got
your hope tonight
Lovesick, baby
I've got the cure
to make you feel all right
Lovesick, baby
I've got
your hope tonight
Lovesick, baby
I've got the cure
to make you feel all right
You see me coming
Try to relax,
have a glass of wine
I want you, baby
Tied up in knots,
now you're mine all night
Playing with matches
Now you've got
a fire lit
You move me, honey
Let me know you can't
live without it
Lovesick, baby
I've got
your hope tonight
Lovesick, baby
I've got the cure
to make you feel all right
Lovesick, baby
I've got
your hope tonight
Lovesick, baby
I've got the cure
to make you feel all right
Who's got you, baby
Down on your knees,
it's time for confession
Tell me, baby
You're already happy
if you're my possession
When it was all done,
he was quick to douse
the lights and fall asleep.
It was like he was
embarrassed by it all.
Look, Diana,
I have a plan.
Why don't you come back tomorrow
with your husband at noon?
He's usually working, but I could
persuade him to take tomorrow off.
Oh, good, because
I have an idea
that will instantly
turn your marriage
and your love life
around forever.
- What is it?
- It's a sexual experiment
where I can stimulate
your husband's sensory perceptions,
bending them to suit
your exact needs.
Mind control?
But isn't that dangerous?
No, not under the spa's
strictly controlled conditions.
I can modify your husband's
sensory perceptions
and unleash that hungry tiger
that you always knew
was trapped inside.
Sounds good.
But why so soon?
Two reasons: the quicker
I turn things around with your mate,
the quicker you reap
the benefits in the bedroom.
And the second reason?
Oh, hold on a second.
Yes, Kayla?
There's a bit of
a complication
out by the fire pit.
- What's the problem?
- Best to just come out.
Very well, then.
I'll be right there.
Sorry about that.
What were you saying?
The second reason,
and why at high noon?
Let's just say
dramatic things happen
when the clock
strikes 12:00.
Oh, in the meantime,
this is my personal brand
of Spanish Fly.
Give him some of this
in his meal
before you come see me
tomorrow.
Thank you, Doc, but...
- But what?
- What if it doesn't work?
Oh, trust me, it will.
Thanks again, Doc. And could you tell
your lovely assistant goodbye for me?
She has quite the tongue.
And I look forward to seeing
your husband tomorrow.
I hate you.
I wish you would get fired.
Go away! You don't need
to work here anymore.
You ladies need
to calm yourselves down.
The clients can hear
your catfighting
- all the way up at the spa.
- I will not calm down,
not till this
Pocono Mountain slut
takes back what she said.
Slut? I'm not the one stealing
other people's customers
with offers of half-priced
happy endings.
For the last time, I didn't steal
any of your precious customers.
It was a prearranged
agreement.
You just didn't get the memo,
you stupid whore.
Oh, so now I'm a whore?
Maybe I'll take some of your overflow
the next time
things get too busy for you.
Now, now, there is
no need for that.
- What's going on, ladies?
- She thinks I stole one of her clients.
Oh, and where did you get
this defamatory notion, Mandy?
- From one of the staff.
- And who would that be?
- Sam.
- I'm sorry, who?
- Sam Conway.
- I thought so.
So you decided to take
a complete fabrication
and spread it without
consulting me or any of the staff?
I'll have you know
that you could have ruined
- this fine young lady's reputation.
- I'm sorry.
And I'll have you know
that it was as Lucy said.
I set everything up.
I'm using this
streetwalker fantasy
to free up some of
Mr. Saunders inhibitions,
much like you're doing
for Mr. Manicotti
- with your innocent schoolgirl technique.
- Told you.
And I'll also have you know
that you're both helping me
with a very important
experiment,
which, if it all goes
as planned,
which I know it will,
we'll all be able
to write our own ticket
on the publicity
gravy train.
Look, I said I apologized.
It won't happen again,
I swear.
Okay. Well, I expect
you girls to play nice.
Kayla, go clean
these girls up.
You heard her, girls.
Let's hit the showers.
Suck on this
Aah
Suck on this
Mmm, aah,
suck on this
Suck on this
Mmm, aah, suck on this
Aah, suck on this
Suck on this
Aah, suck on this
Mmm, aah, suck on this
Suck on this
Mmm, aah, suck on this
Aah, suck on this
Aah, yes
Suck on this
Aah, yeah
Mmm, aah, suck on this
Suck, suck, suck
Suck
Aah, suck on this
Suck on this
Mmm, aah, suck on this
Aah, suck on this
Suck on this
Uh, Professor,
are you busy?
Just working up
some new stimulants
for that lesbian couple
on the second floor. Why?
I wanted to talk to you about
the orderly that you hired, Conway.
Sam? What's he up to?
No good, I suppose.
Not only is he causing
unrest with the staff,
but Mrs. Burke said that he came
on really strong last time she was here.
- That's not good.
- No.
So, should I fire him?
Lay down a stern warning
but give him a second chance.
Make sure he knows
one more screw-up and he's out.
Done.
Do you happen to know
where he is right now?
Well, last time I saw him he was
mowing the lawn in the back.
Okay, thanks.
What are you doing
way out here, Doc?
- Turn off the motor.
- What?
We need to talk, Sam.
- What's up, Doc?
- Well, I hear from Mandy
that you're telling tall tales
about the patients again.
- Not me, Doc.
- Well, I'd appreciate it
if you'd keep your mouth closed
and your fly zipped.
Consider it locked
in the, uh, up position.
Hmm.
Well, you don't have
to overcompensate, honey.
I mean, we all have
to open up sometime.
Overcompensating how?
Now that's what I call
mowing the lawn.
Very enjoyable, Sam.
Oh, but I'd like
to keep this between us.
- Whatever you say, Doc.
- And remember what I said about spreading gossip.
Whatever you want, Doc.
Good.
Mark, is that you?
Who else are you expecting?
Nobody.
I'm in the kitchen.
I'll be right in.
- So?
- So we're in.
- When?
- Get this... high noon tomorrow.
- What?
- You heard me.
They want to see us
as soon as possible.
What else did he say?
Well, I didn't see
Dr. Jones,
just his associate,
Dr. Anderson,
and she claims that he was
called into a very important meeting.
- You think she's in on it?
- Hard to tell.
She seems to know her stuff.
She claims that she can
turn your repression around
with a quick jolt
of mind control.
Sounds fishy.
Fun, but fishy.
Possibly, but it's too early
to call her an accomplice just yet.
- You think they're out there?
- Someone is.
I'd bet my life on it.
They're watching, all right.
Well, we ought to
give 'em a good show.
Careful!
One more kiss like that
and you're gonna blow
our whole cover story.
Why?
What did you tell 'em?
Just that you're afraid
to get close to me.
That couldn't be farther
from the truth, Officer Reid.
Well, they don't need
to know that, and shouldn't.
We're just another
unhappy couple
in desperate need
of sensual healing.
Hmm, speaking of sensual...
something smells good.
That, Mr. FBI, is my
simmering spaghetti sauce.
Wow! A policewoman
who could actually cook?
Not only did I cook,
but I made sure they saw me
put the Spanish Fly they gave me
into one of your meatballs.
Really? Interesting.
They said it would help you
think of new ways to satisfy me.
Hon, I've been thinking of ways
how to satisfy you
since the first time
we partnered up.
Needless to say, I substituted
a vitamin C pill instead.
Are you sure?
If you're worried,
you can skip the entre
and go directly
to dessert.
I was planning on it.
- I meant the ice cream.
- Oh, yeah, right.
Here's to us.
To us nailing them.
Mark, have you ever heard
of a sexipede?
- A what?
- A sexipede.
Sounds like something I would be
watching on late night cable.
Don't be silly. It was written
right here on this memo.
I lifted it from
Dr. Anderson's desk.
I looked on the Internet,
nothing. Not one entry.
Maybe it's a code?
I think it's something
more than that.
Hmm.
- Yes?
- Well, they were talking in the kitchen for a while,
then they
pulled the curtains.
- Anything?
- All is normal and consistent with their story.
- Should I stay with them?
- Better to play it safe.
It all seems to track,
but we can't let our guard down.
Right.
All right, ladies,
line up.
It's weekly
lingerie inspection.
Mmm, nice.
All right, let's start
with you, Lucy.
Turn around for me, honey.
Oh, Lucy.
Beautiful backside, baby.
Let's see your front.
Mmm, love it up here.
Too much cloth down here.
I want to see more skin
next time.
All right.
Next up, Kayla.
Always gorgeous, baby.
Give me a small turn.
Slow. Ooh!
Very nice.
Gorgeous. Mm-hmm.
Very nice, very nice.
One thing, though.
Too much pink
on your pink.
Try another color
next time.
Ooh, Mandy.
Why don't you do
a little spin for me?
Oh, no, no, no.
Too fast, baby.
Make it slow and seductive.
Mm-hmm, work what you got.
Very nice, very nice.
Ooh.
Oh, and these.
Oh, just gorgeous.
One thing, though.
You have to remember
to move slowly.
Slow is sexy.
All right.
All right, ladies.
Present arms.
My turn.
Hello.
All right, ladies,
uh, boss is happy.
Let's call it a day.
Wow.
- Oh, Kayla, this is nice.
- Hey, Doctor.
So, it's been one hell
of a day, hasn't it?
Oh, you're telling me.
Between that schoolgirl fantasy
that I ran this morning
and that
nervous Nellie Diana,
I'm so ready to sit back
and relax.
Mmm, me too.
That catfight down here
earlier just drained me.
Looks like
we've got an audience.
Damn. I knew
he'd come around.
Who, Sam?
He's not a bad sort.
Funny girl.
Um, but seriously,
what do you know about him?
- Why? You interested?
- Just curious.
Why, Doctor,
you little devil girl!
Kayla, stop it!
And just tell me
what you know.
Well, I did research
his job application
after he interviewed
with Professor Jones.
I guess he got
his nursing degree
while serving time
in the Navy.
- Wife? Girlfriend?
- Per his W-9, single.
- No attachments.
- Hmm.
- "Hmm" what?
- Just "hmm."
I swear, you physicians
are such a secretive bunch.
Secretive? Oh, come on,
that's a bunch of BS.
No, seriously.
Why, just the other day,
I had to access Professor
Jones medical records
for a pharmacy call,
and his computer files
were missing.
The folder was there,
but it was empty.
- No way.
- Way. I couldn't even find his social.
Okay, now that's odd.
Well, make a note
and talk
to the professor
tomorrow morning.
Will do.
But in the meantime,
my social security number
is 269-69-69...
Mmm, good number.
Well, I really
hate to leave you, Doctor,
but I have to go
prepare the fireplace
in Mrs. Whitaker's room
for her appointment tomorrow.
- Oh, are you treating her?
- Yeah, with Sam.
Damn. Can't you pick
someone else to help you?
I mean, Mrs. Whitaker
and Sam don't really mix.
It'll be fine. He asked if
he could assist with the massage.
All right, fine,
but be respectful.
Mrs. Whitaker has told us that
she only comes here for sensual massages.
She's told me more than once that she only
enjoys sex with her husband at home.
Gosh, what a drag
that must be.
Kayla! Mrs. Whitaker
is very powerful,
very influential,
and rich.
Got it. Will do.
You know, it's not really you
that I'm worried about,
it's more your partner
and his raging hormones.
Don't worry.
I'll keep him in line.
- Good girl.
- And what about you?
Are you still going through
with your experiment tomorrow?
Oh, yes.
Everything's ready.
Mrs. Reid and her husband
should be here before noon,
and if everything goes
as planned,
I will have captured
the sexipede by mid-afternoon.
Hopefully so.
Just don't let it bite you.
Oh, on the contrary,
I'm looking forward
to that.
Here goes nothing.
How do I look?
Like a very distraught husband
in need of sexual therapy.
Funny, I don't remember
seeing any of that
in the mirror
when I was getting ready.
Well, just remember how I avoided
all your advances since we met.
I'm sure you'll think
of something.
Touch.
Do you think we're really
gonna need these?
Probably not, but it's better
to be safe than sorry.
Got it.
She's nearly half an hour late.
Do you think she's gonna show?
She'll be here,
I'm sure of it.
I say give her another
five minutes then we call it a day.
Be patient. Mrs. Whitaker
is one of our most important clients.
Okay, okay, but I am
halfway into my lunch break.
I could use a snack now.
- Will these do?
- Hummina, hummina.
Oof! Very sweet.
No calories.
Gotta love it.
Save your appetite
for later, big boy.
So you see, it'll be like
killing two birds with one stone.
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.
You want the three of us
to have sex,
turn things on so you can
capture this sexipede?
Put concisely, yes.
You two will reap the benefits
of having a sensual threesome,
whereas I get to bring
a heretofore unknown creature
before the eyes of science.
Trust me, it's a win-win
situation for everybody.
Amazin'.
Look, even if we
believed you
about this creature
inside of us,
how do you plan
on capturing it?
We didn't come here
for an invasive operation.
Oh! No, no, no, no, no.
There's no danger at all.
You two will remain
safe and untouched.
- But how...
- Let me show you.
As you can see,
I've got a small series
of diodes
going down to my pelvis.
Each one gives off
a small electric jolt.
When I feel an orgasm
coming on,
I simply take this remote,
push the red button,
- and the creature comes up and out.
- Of your mouth?
I know, it sounds
outlandish, but it's not.
When the creature comes out,
I simply take it
and put it
into this terrarium.
- Incredible.
- Does Professor Jones know about this?
Oh, of course.
He supports me and my work.
In fact, he thinks I might
even be worthy of a Nobel Prize.
- He being Nobel?
- No, I mean noble.
- Is he here?
- Can we talk to him?
Um, I think he's already
left for lunch.
So, shall we try this?
I mean, I've already set up
cameras everywhere
to record
this momentous event.
Well, um...
Hey, let's go.
Is it her?
Yes. Quiet.
Hello, Mrs. Whitaker?
Hi. Are you on your way?
Traffic, huh?
Well, we're holding
the room for you.
Sam and I have had the room
prepped since noon.
Can you ask her
how long it's gonna be?
So what are you thinking,
10, 15 minutes?
More like 30, huh?
All right, well,
we'll hold the room for you.
I'll give her
something to hold.
You can't,
'cause she's not here.
Obviously.
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Ooh
Ooh
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Ooh
Ooh
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Ooh
Ooh
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Want it, want it, want it
Ahh, ooh!
Oh, God.
Aah! Ooh! Oh, my God!
It's coming.
I got it, I got it!
I got it!
I daresay not, Doctor.
- I daresay not.
- Professor Jones?
What are you doing?
Why the gun?
I'll tell you why.
That's not Professor Jones at all.
- Is it?
- Now, now, my good man.
You two are not exactly
who you say you are.
- CIA, perhaps?
- FBI.
- Same difference.
- You're not gonna get away with this, Grinsted.
What'd you say?
Paul Grinsted?
- That's right.
- The rogue geneticist?
- But I thought he was...
- Dead?
Well, when you're wanted
in over 20 countries
for illegal cloning
and failed mutations,
you'll do almost anything
to disappear.
No one's disappearing tonight
except you three
if I don't get my hands
on the creature.
But Professor, you said...
I'd say anything
to keep you experimenting,
so you'd do
all the hard work
and then I'd just step in
and take the bows.
And all the money,
naturally.
A little sex monster who makes
everybody uncontrollably horny,
lots of people would pay
big bucks to have one of those.
You son of a bitch.
Merely an accident
of birth, Doctor.
Now, if you wouldn't mind, would you
put that creature in the terrarium
and bring it over here?
Slowly.
Aah! Aah!
- What was that?
- Sounded like gunshots.
No, maybe it was the fix-it guy
fixing the lawnmower.
Crapped out on me
this morning.
Aah! Aah!
Something's hot in here.
Ooh!
Aaaah!
All right, Grinsted,
it's over.
Yeah. No more genetic
mutations for you.
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
Oh, it's all right, Doc.
I already got his gun.
It's not the weapon
I'm looking for,
it's the creature,
the sexipede.
It's missing.
Well, don't look at me.
I don't have it.
Me neither.
All right, pal, move it.
It's a long way
from being over, cop.
Oh, yes it is.
Where you're going,
there's only one experiment
and frankly,
it's not quite my style.
Now move it.
Now where could it be?
Everywhere
Touch me here
Touch me there
Everywhere
Kiss me here,
kiss me there
Everywhere
Touch me here
Kiss me there
Everywhere
Touch me here,
touch me there
Everywhere
Touch me here,
touch me there
Everywhere
Kiss me here,
kiss me there
Everywhere
Excite here,
deep in there
Everywhere
Everywhere
Vibrate me here,
vibrate me there
Everywhere
Everywhere
My Lord.
Something must have
really come over me.
Me too.
Yeah. And I think I have
a good idea what it was.