Yeah, yeah, I'm that Lou girI.
I'm a Iegend.
I'm a Iegend.
And Iike Coke...
I need no intro,
no bio, no resume...
I won the NCAA
Division 1 Championship...
the Women's U.S. Open, and had
sixteen victories on the LPGA Tour.
AII that exists in the worId of
marketing are perceptions...
in the mind of the customer,
or prospect.
The perception is the reaIity.
Everything eIse is just an iIIusion.
But that's not why I'm here taIking
with you today.
There are more accompIished
women than me.
Nothing is reaI except what
we perceive to be reaI.
We make it reaI...
I am here, because I am more than
the sum totaI of my accompIishments.
I'm a story...
The worId beIongs...
to those who controI the brand...
A reputation...
For good or bad profits...
A brand...
Mom, appIe pie,
the girI next door...
everybody's AII-American,
MichaeI Jordan and EIvis...
I am not unIike Nike or Coke...
Let me introduce myseIf...
I am brand Louise...
and I'II bet in this room today,
there has got to be brand Bobs...
and brand Sues, and brand whatever
your name may be.
B.Y.O.B.: Be your own brands.
Create the story, the Iegend...
create the myth that Iives
inside each of you.
It's you, the advertising and
the marketing professionaIs...
that make this worId go 'round.
You can make peopIe buy and do...
anything you Iike. We're aII
just sheep waiting to be Ied...
Is that brainwashing?
Yes.
Is that good or bad?
It depends on who is in
controI of the brand.
Mother Theresa, Osama Bin Laden,
the Easter Bunny, Enron.
AII brands...
You can go to brandIou.com or AOL
keyword b Iou and purchase
my BuiId Your Own Brand...
and the Power of VisuaIization
video and cassette tapes.
And good Iuck.
You're Iucky Dick, because I have
you sitting next to me tonight.
That's great. So, you reaIIy think
the Iighter shaft...
-wiII get me on the fairway?
-I think it's your swing...
not the cIub that's keeping
you off the fairway.
I just Iove your apartment.
Its great views.
-I'm so gIad you couId come.
-So I was Iying two...
about one eighty away.
Way to the right.
You know how it dog Iegs...
so I puIIed out my five. I choked...
Oh Lou, if you're back on the tour,
speaking engagements...
endorsements, they doubIe.
And once you start winning,
they'II doubIe again!
WeII that's not the reason Lou
wouId go back on the tour.
-Oh, JoeI knows that Sweetie.
-So teII me honestIy Lou...
does this visuaIization that you've
been preaching, does it reaIIy work?
EIyse, do you know how many times a
day I picture myseIf sinking puts?
Driving baIIs right down the dead
center of the fairway?
Hitting out of sand traps
to within inches of the pin?
-Thousands.
-You bet, thousands.
Why don't you seII her
your tapes, Lou?
Or at Ieast give her
the toII free number.
Sure, why not? They come in reaIIy,
reaIIy handy, when you're having...
-a hard time sIeeping.
-CarIy, something wrong?
C'mon, you know I Iove your tapes.
They're great.
They're actuaIIy
quite fantastic, CarIy.
-Sweet. They are.
-My basketbaII coach used to say:
''You got to get it up before
you can get it in!''
-JoeI, shut up.
-Excuse my tasteIess husband.
I find this visuaIization
thing reaIIy interesting.
-Oh they have been tests.
-At Stanford they tested...
three groups of peopIe
shooting free throws.
The first group practiced every day
in the gym. The second group...
practiced onIy through
visuaIization...
and the third didn't
practice at aII.
So you mean, one group practiced
for reaI and the other group...
-practiced onIy in their heads...
-That's right.
And they found that the group that
practiced onIy in their heads...
improved by thirty percent, identicaI
to the group that actuaIIy...
-practiced in the gym.
-We shouId do a test with goIfers.
-Dick...
-Yes, dear.
-Lou's a goIfer not a psychoIogist.
-Are there any books...
yon the subject that you
couId recommend?
-Sorry, what, what's that?
-She asked if there were any...
-good books on the subject?
-Sure, you couId try...
-visuaIize it! Do it! by Donofrio.
-I've been experimenting...
with my grip a bit. Lou, you think
my index finger is too far over?
I'II teII you what, we'II get the
cIubs out Iater and take a Iook.
-And thanks so much for these tapes.
-Oh, my pIeasure.
-It was IoveIy seeing you both.
-Next time it's on our court.
-Okay. You bet.
-Bye.
See you soon.
Bye.
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Hey.
-Hey, Honey.
So, any decisions?
-About what?
-About going back on the tour.
StiII thinking.
I know I can get back physicaIIy.
It's just the other stuff...
WeII, there's not another woman
with your drive or edge.
Maybe.
Now, um, I'm handIing that
insurance with the dentist today...
and we have the appointment...
with the business managers
about the trust.
Oh honey, today is just packed,
you do that.
-You sure?
-Yeah.
Okay, your shirts from the cIeaners
are in the cIoset and...
I have got the wine and cater
coordinated for tomorrow's dinner.
AngeI.
What wouId I do without you, huh?
-You'd forget these without me.
-Of course.
The earrings make the outfit.
How's this?
-Perfect. BeautifuI.
-Thank you.
I Iove you.
I Iove you too.
AII right, so what do you think?
WeII, I don't know whether
I prefer this brand or this.
Which feeIs better.
Hey, Iike brand Lou.
You too, can be brand Lou.
Stop it.
Hey, honey. How did it go?
Not bad.
-Great.
-Hi, Lou.
CarIy.
We were just checking out fabric
sampIes for the dining room...
at the country house, now I don't
know what you think, but...
I Iike the bIue satin or this
kinda bamboo coIor.
You make the caII, honey, just try
to keep it in the budget.
Come on Lou. Don't you prefer
one over the other?
Can't you visuaIize it?
CarIy, don't fuck with me.
You know,
you're bIoody out of order.
Right, I'II show myseIf out.
Again.
HeIp, somebody heIp us!
What are you doing?
I said no carrying.
-I'm ok.
-You're not okay...
It's onIy been a coupIe of weeks.
Now, hand it over.
-What?
-You know what.
Send it here.
I toId you, no interruptions.
We're actuaIIy gonna try and reIax.
-Yes, ma'am.
-After you.
What?
Nothing.
HeIIo Iadies...
you didn't come aII the way
out here to buy a fIower, did ya?
You know there's a big
storm brewing.
ReaIIy?
You know, weII...
-we needed to get out of the city.
-Where are you Iadies staying?
We own a house up on
the top of Bayberry.
Oh, you bought the Harris...
aww it's a beautifuI spread.
-Thank you.
-But be carefuI...
there's gonna be some rough
weather. And it's way out there...
-in the middIe of nowhere.
-We know, thanks. Fine.
Say, I know you?
Sure, Sweet Lou DeIamere.
The sweetest swing on the tour.
I remember...
I remember you're beautifuI.
You know, we're trying...
-to keep things Iow key...
-Aww, I'm sorry
-That's okay.
-Let's go.
Hey, SheIter Greens is our
IittIe pubIic course...
it's pretty crappy reaIIy.
But you know...
we're supposed to have some warm
weather after the storm.
Maybe, weII I pIay a IittIe goIf,
and maybe you and I couId...
-shoot a round.
-Not this trip.
Sweet Lou, and the Law, c'mon.
Can't beat that.
-Not this trip.
-Sure?
-I'm sure.
-The Iady said no.
-Right, no. Sorry.
-Right. See ya.
Okay, thanks.
Hey Iet me ask you one
thing though...
I gotta ask you this.
When I'm in a sand trap...
You know what?
I promise you...
we'II have this conversation.
We'II have it...
we'II grab a beer and we'II
have it. Just not right now.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
You two Iook good together.
-The two of you together...
-AIight.
Easy on the eyes I'II teII ya.
Easy on the eyes, better than most.
-Better than most what?
-Better than most anything.
You know what?
We have to go.
-WeII, thank you.
-For what?
For the visuaI. I mean guys are
visuaI, right? We visuaIize.
That's what we do and...
you guys have given me something
to stare back at Iater.
-And what wouId that be?
-I mean in my head. You know?
It's aII up here in my head.
You know? Just cIick...cIick...cIick
-What are you doing?
-DeveIoping. DeveIoping.
In my head,
there it goes deveIoping.
-That's great.
-Okay, enjoy it.
See ya.
CIick...
CIick... cIick.
-Great, she's stiII here.
-I guess it took Ionger to finish.
-There goes the reIaxation.
-You know I'II get her out...
of here as soon as I can.
She's saved us a Iot of money...
by doing the it herseIf.
I'II get the bags.
Okay.
-You okay?
-It's nice.
-Hi guys.
-Hey. How are you?
-Hi Lou.
-Hi.
-Don't worry. I'm Ieaving.
-This is it.
-This is.
-It Iooks great.
-Do you Iike it?
-Yes, yes. It's fantastic.
I'm so gIad honey.
You... Your working very Iate,
you didn't have to stay this Iong.
PIease, you guys had a
horribIe experience...
it's the Ieast I couId do.
That's very nice of you, sweetie...
thank you.
WeII, I'm gIad I couId do it.
Listen, I hope you don't mind
if I Ieave some things here.
-No, it's fine.
-It's just some materiaI...
for the other room. I shouId be
abIe to finish it up next week.
-So, you did aII this yourseIf.
-No sweetie, I visuaIized it.
Now that's funny.
WeII then, I'II have to work
on new materiaI now don't I.
Yes, you do.
AII right honey, I'd reaIIy Iove
to show you the pIans...
for the master bedroom, but I reaIIy
got to go before the storm starts up
That's a very good idea.
Thank you for the...
She'II is going to make someone a
great wifw one day. That she wiII.
I'II see you out, c'mon.
So I'II Ieave you two,
to your domestic bIiss.
-CaII me.
-Of course. AIways.
CaIm before the storm.
Your shoe's untied.
Oh, hey, yours too.
I'm gonna take off, aII right.
AII right, yeah...
it'II be nice and quiet.
I'II see you Iater.
I'II be back in a minute.
It's Ok. It's just me.
What in God's name
are you out doing here?
I wanted to make sure you girIs
were aIright that's aII.
-Why didn't you use the front door?
-I didn't mean to scare you...
-I'm reaIIy sorry.
-What the heII are you doing...
-back here?
-WeII I thought I saw something...
and I came to check it out,
with you girIs being out here...
aII aIone and everything. So, if
you want I'II go and check...
around the rest of the house
and I'II make sure that a...
-No.
-WeII then, storm's...
definiteIy coming quick, so
I have some other houses to check.
-I'II bet you do.
-Take care.
-You OK?
-I'm fine. You?
It's windy out there.
You know...
I wish I couId be more Iike you.
Why wouId you ever want
to be Iike me?
-What have I ever accompIished?
-No, you don't understand.
You're comfortabIe.
There is nothing more you want out
of Iife than what you aIready have.
So, you want to be more Iike me
because I have no aspirations?
No, because I'm aIways
pre-occupied with training...
for what's coming up...
next tournament...next video.
But you're happy where you are.
WeII, I Iearned a Iong time ago
that the secret...
to being happy
is to just beIieve you are.
CaII 91 1
The phone's dead.
-Where am I?
-It's aIright...
-You feII on our front door.
-Where are my cIothes?
AII your stuff was soaking,
it's in the dryer.
Oh, my boat hit a rock.
I couIdn't see anything out there.
How about a drink, that'II heIp.
I sure... I guess
it couIdn't hurt.
I'II go and see if I can find
you something to wear.
Here you go.
Thanks.
Can I use your phone?
It's dead.
Here...
these shouId fit.
What's your name?
I'm Louise...
''Lou''. This is AIex.
I'm Lenny.
So as soon as your cIothes are dry,
I'II give you a ride into town.
-I'II go check the Iaundry.
-Yah.
Sure is nasty out there.
Nor'easters sure can be brutaI.
Let's get you some food.
What the heII were you doing
out there in this weather?
Gotta eat.
It's how I make my Iiving.
But you knew this storm
was coming, didn't you?
Yeah, thought I had more time.
It snuck up on me.
So what keeps you out in
this kind of weather?
I'm a thief and a Iiar.
Yeah?
I seII product to you weekender's
for three times the worth.
WeII, it's worth whatever us
suckers wiII pay for it.
What do you fish for?
CIams.
CIams?
I didn't know you couId cIam
this time of year?
AII year round.
Want some?
It's jerky, it's good.
Sure?
Besides, the cIamming...
keeps me in good shape. See?
Yeah, I see.
FeeI.
No, go on.
Who whacked ya?
SIipped in the shower.
Whatever...
what about you...
what do you do?
You can afford a pIace Iike this...
and a woman Iike that.
She is your woman, right?
Right. But she doesn't come
with the pIace.
WouIdn't that be nice.
I'm a motivationaI speaker.
Used to be on the LPGA.
You were a cop.
-I was a goIfer.
-A goIfer?
-You won those?
-Yeah.
Wow.
NCAA
WOMENS GOLF CHAMPION
I aIways wanted to be
a basebaII pIayer.
America's pastime.
You can say that again.
Nice hit.
You know that was
just make beIieve.
Now you,
you're the reaI deaI.
You Iook pretty strong.
I keep in shape.
Let's arm wrestIe.
-No, I'm serious.
-Get outta here.
Forget about it.
-C'mon.
-I toId you forget it.
It'II be fun, c'mon.
First you won't eat the
damn jerky, and now this.
It's good isn't it?
ProbabIy don't matter,
you're a woman, couIdn't beat me.
Wimp.
Let's go.
No cheatin'.
-I'II count to three.
-No, I'II count.
1 ... 2...
3!
C'mon...
give me what you got,
c'mon, c'mon... C'mon!
-You're pretty strong.
-Aww, give it to me. C'mon.
-You cheated!
-No.
-Yes you did.
-No.
You used two hands and
you even stood up.
Loser!
Loser! CIammer and a Ioser!
Those beers went
right to your head.
Who won?
-Bam! Who won?
-Are you drunk?
-Am I?
-Come on now, knock it off.
Say it, who won?
You did.
You reaIIy are a crazy chick.
I try.
-It must be hard on you two.
-Why?
Living in such a
conservative society.
Guys probabIy hitting on you aII
the time thinking they...
-can taIk you into a three-way.
-ReaIIy?
-Guys do that.
-Some.
To me, I think that three-way
thing is a IittIe overrated.
I find that my ass is a IittIe too
sore when I wake up...
the next morning.
You're a nice person.
That's rare when I meet a woman
that I enjoy spending time with.
Don't get any ideas, handsome.
'Cuz I appreciate a good woman...
as much as you do.
What's going on?
-Just having some fun.
-Having fun.
Look I toId you, you're here
to rest. You have to recuperate.
I hear you Ioud and cIear.
Mom.
Great. So come and heIp me
with the Iaundry, pIease.
-The Iaundry?
-Yes, the Iaundry.
Ok.
I see who wears the pants
in this famiIy!
What?
I want him out
of here immediateIy.
Fine, I mean,
I'II drive him to town.
The two of you are Iike
schooIboys. I swear...
-Aww... sweetheart.
-No, don't.
Gotta go.
Get these on.
Thanks.
You don't mind do you? It's just
Iike changing in front of the guys.
You know it's a reaI effort to get
you to keep your cIothes on Lenny.
I don't get it.
It was driving fine this morning.
Those British cars can sometimes
have troubIe with their wiring...
-in the rain.
-It's got Iess than five...
thousand miIes on it.
Let it dry out.
She'II be fine by morning.
Shit. AIright Iook, you can sIeep
in that room. There's sheets...
toweIs, bIankets, whatever.
Drive you home tomorrow. Good night.
What do you mean he is staying?
WeII we can't throw him out in the
storm. This is totaIIy unacceptabIe.
What can we do?
-I don't feeI safe.
-Honey...
he's okay.
He's okay.
We can't kick him out, he's just
gonna freeze to death. I can't...
pIease, sweetie.
You were the one who made
me Ieave my ceII phone.
I'II put a chair.
Yeah, we expect everything
from one person.
You can't expect companionship,
romance, running a household...
a mother, a father, a maid,
a psychiatrist...
and a social director
all from the same source.
lt's unrealistic.
And unrealistic goals in the end,
leave us feeling vacant.
He better wake up soon.
I don't want him here a minute...
-Ionger than he has to be.
-He must be exhausted.
I Iove watching you hit baIIs.
Yeah, but the Iine's been
busy since Iast night.
Can you pIease just check
the Iine for troubIe?
-Good morning Iove birds.
-Good morning.
Did you sIeep weII?
Like a baby.
You sure are a sight for sore
eyes this earIy in the morning.
You're one Iucky guy, Lou.
How ya feeIing, Lenny?
Sore, but okay.
Your phone workin' yet?
Nope.
-How about the car?
-Yeah. Got it started.
Funny thing, one of the battery
cabIes was disconnected.
Must have been the storm.
Yeah.
You sure can hit that
thing a Iong way.
She's has a gift.
-You can say that again.
-You know what?
I'm gonna go make some eggs.
Not too many more, Lou.
What do you mean you can't get
anybody out there untiI Monday!
I mean, my friends are in
the middIe of nowhere.
But what if something happens.
They need their phone service.
I understand that.
Yeah, I understand but Iet's face
it honey, I couId find, a man...
who's not afraid of
commitment in Iess time than that.
Isn't that nice...
your gaI being so impressed with
the way you with the way you...
handIe your shaft.
-That's funny.
-Okay. You know what?
Get dressed.
We'II get breakfast...
I'm driving you to town.
Okay, so you're gonna try to get
somewhat out there today.
Promise. AIright. I reaIIy
appreciate it, thank you so much.
-So Lou, what's your story?
-My story?
Yeah. So, how'd you get here?
This pIace in your Iife?
There's not much to teII.
C'mon, you guys are swimming in
cash, you got a beautifuI wife...
you're Iiving the Iife
that dreams are made of.
Things are good.
May I ask you something...
I've never been in a reIationship
where I didn't cheat.
Now, I've tried.
Even gone a coupIe of months.
-You shouId get a medaI!
-For me...
once I, you know...
puII the trigger.
I just want to go home.
Know what I mean?
Not reaIIy.
'Course...
I never had a woman Iike yours.
WeII Lenny, neither did
I untiI I met her.
She's not just beautifuI,
she's got cIass.
I've never reaIIy seen
anything Iike her.
-Bud, Iet's drop the subject.
-If you two...
ever want to have some kids
and you need a donor.
I'm ready, wiIIing and abIe.
-Yeah, don't hoId your breath, okay.
-Very abIe.
Yeah, you'II be somewhere
on that Iist.
How Iong you
two been together?
-About two years.
-Where'd you meet?
At a press conference
to announce some deaI.
-What kind of deaI?
-What difference does it make?
To endorse a cereaI.
-That's it?
-That's it.
She was there with some guy.
And it just happened.
I guess it didn't hurt having her
around to see you sign that...
big contract.
You ever get the urge to stray
even though you're with...
a woman Iike that?
'Cuz for me...
every time I see a woman I know
I can't afford, I comfort myseIf...
thinking that somewhere out there,
there's somebody...
that's sick and tired
of fucking that.
WeII not me.
ReaIIy?
Is it good?
It is I knew it.
I knew it!
Guess it's Iike they say...
''A man is onIy as faithfuI
as his options.''
You're a Iucky guy.
Hey, what's this?
Wow, Iook at you!
Women of the year.
You're Iike a reguIar, bonafide
ceIebrity. Hey can I keep it?
WouId you autograph it for me?
Time to go.
I gotta got to the IittIe
boys room. Be right back.
-Ready?
-Never been readier.
Wow, which one is this?
It's a Driver.
-Can you give me a quick Iesson?
-Let's go.
PIease, I want a Iesson
from the goIf pro.
No.
I'm not Ieaving untiI
you give me a Iesson.
For God's sake.
AIright, spread your feet
shouIder width.
Just hoId it,
show me how you hoId it.
On the grass.
Do that. Swing.
-Perfect, Iet's go.
-Wait, wait!
I gotta hit one.
Where's a baII?
Give me the cIub.
-Give me the fucking cIub!
-Get away from me.
What's your probIem?
The cIammer not good enough
for a goIf Iesson...
or you just don't want a man
around the house. Is that it?
Afraid wifey might start
wanting some reaI dick?
That's it.
You know what your reaI
probIem is?
I know something that you don't.
You know what that is?
Remember me now?
Remember me?!
No, no, yeah
Give me a reason.
That was Raven's Way with
''Tomorrow's Sun. ''
You're listening to Jack the Knife
on Long lsland's WJAC...
that's Jack on Jack and
we'll be right back.
Are you worried about your
receding hairline?
Have you noticed that your hair is
a lot thinner than it used to be?
Bosley medical has pioneered simple
outpatient medical procedures...
that allow you to restore your
hair naturally and affordably.
At Bosley Medical,
we have performed over 1 00...
It's me.
I'm sorry, but I needed some work
on my goIf swing.
I'm where I said I'd be.
-Where's Lou?
-At the bottom of the...
Long IsIand Sound.
-You mean, she's dead?
-Yes.
You fuckin' asshoIe.
You were supposed to do
this yesterday!
You increased the chance of us
getting caught. You fucked...
it up the first time.
Are you reaIIy that stupid?
I'm sorry.
The sooner we get the money and
get out of each other's Iives...
-the better off we'II be.
-Why?
You know, you wasted
two days screwing around.
Asking her for her autograph?
You're fuckin' unbeIievabIe.
I was just having a IittIe fun.
-Okay, when do we get the money?
-Soon.
She Ieft a cIear...
and indisputabIe wiII.
It's ironcIad.
Don't compIicate things.
I'm not good
enough for you, am I?
I'm not as successfuI
as good oIe Lou.
Listen, Lenny.
This is our only chance.
Let's not blow this.
Now go outside, cIean up...
I'II change, take you to your car,
and then report her missing, okay?
Fucking moron.
What's this?
Come over here, c'mon.
Sit down.
There.
We both deserve a IittIe pIeasure.
What happened to not
compIicating things?
WeII...
we're both here aIone.
There's no reason why we
can't enjoy one another.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
You did the right thing.
He kiIIed Lou...
and then he raped me.
He raped me,
now Lou's dead.
That's good. Just keep saying
it Iike that over and over.
Say anything that wiII work.
Give me that gun.
Give me the gun!
Give me the gun.
This genius is stiII aIive.
That's better.
Let's put this back down there.
-Fucking tired.
-How...
couId you send
the same fucking idiot...
-that messed it up Iast time?
-This guy's the onIy one...
dumb enough to buy this setup.
Besides we need a perp...
otherwise you're the number one
suspect, this works out better...
with the bodies right here, I mean
I think we caught a break.
Why don't you just get dressed,
don't wash up.
We need you reaI dirty,
because he raped you.
We have to prove it.
So we need a sampIe.
I hope he Ieft a...
I take it back, I hope he
deposited a... good sampIe.
Yes.
He deposited a IoveIy sampIe.
Great.
It's DeIuca. Get over here. We have
a 1 01 9 at the oId Harris house.
I need backup on the doubIe.
He needs the gun in his hand,
doesn't he?
Yeah, that's the idea, princess.
Yeah, but you gotta puII
the trigger.
That way we get the residue
on his hand.
Yeah.
It won't fire, it's stuck.
You are as dumb as a bag of...
-Morning.
-Morning.
Did you get my dress
from the cIeaners?
-You'II have it tomorrow morning.Ok.
-Good girI.
-See you Iater.
-Have a good day.
-Bye.
-Bye.
ln the books, it's the 22th
immutable laws of marketing.
The 4th law is the law
of perception, which is:
we analyze a situation to make sure
sure that the truth is on our side.
But it's an illusion.
There is no objective reality.
There are no real facts.
All that exists...
in the world of business
and in the world of marketing...
are the perceptions in the mind
of the customer or prospect.
The perception is the reality...
everything else is
just an illusion.