Now arriving on track number seven,
the "Los Angeles Express"...
- Where to?
- The train to Chicago. The Silver Streak.
- Silver Streak. I'll take care of your bags, sir.
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks.
What are those conventioneers doing
at the baggage cart?
Mm-mm-mm.
Now, ain't that something?
I thought it was bad enough with the hippies
on board. Now we got their fathers.
- Oh, we had to get Mary Lou.
- She's our date for the party.
Come on, conductor,
let's get this show on the track.
Oh, oh, oh, I beg your pardon.
Hello. Am I in the right place?
First class. Yes, sir. Right this way.
Watch your step there.
- This is your room.
- OK. Thanks a lot.
Thank you. Have a pleasant trip.
Sir, will you need all these bags here?
If not, I can store some at the other end.
Sure, sure. All I need is this one
and that one. You can take this.
And I'll keep the briefcase. Is this the bed?
- Yeah. I'll be making that up a little later on.
- OK. Thanks.
- And this is...
- Your lavatory and sink, sir.
- Nice big room.
- Very convenient.
What's this?
That turns the room into a double suite.
We used to have a lot of calls for them.
I'm sorry.
I'm not doing it on purpose.
This latch seems to be stuck, that's all.
- Did you say something?
- No. No.
I agree with everything you said.
I wanna take it easy.
Good. You just settle
back and enjoy the trip.
It won't be too exciting,
but we'll get you there on time.
- OK.
- Have a nice rest.
- Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.
- Good evening.
Board!
So long, LA! Bye!
Do you like this perfume?
I mixed it myself.
Lovely. Very nice.
That's something, huh? Yes, sir.
We leave Los Angeles and we
go right up there to Nevada, into Colorado,
across the Rockies,
up to Kansas City, Kansas.
Right in here's a town
called Ashland, Missouri.
Cross the big Mississippi, two-and-a-half
days, we're up there in Chicago.
- That's some trip, huh?
- Mm-hm.
- You from Chicago?
- No, LA.
I'm from Chicago.
My name is Bob Sweet.
A sweet man, but a mean baby.
- George Caldwell.
- Yeah?
- What racket are you in?
- Publishing.
- No kidding. Come on, sit down here.
- Thanks.
You know, I'm in vitamins myself. Mm-hm.
Here. Here.
There's a sample for you of vitamin E.
Now, that is great for the old pecker.
It keeps the pencil sharp. I'm not kidding.
Have you had a chance yet
to check out the action?
No. Actually, this is the first
time I've ever taken a train.
- You're kidding me.
- No.
Come on.
- Well, you're in for the ride of your life.
- Oh, yeah?
Pick out a little chickie, my friend, and
it's hug and munch all the way to Chicago.
- Really?
- I do it all the time.
I tell my boss that I'm afraid of flying
and I get this action twice a year.
It's a cathouse on wheels.
Hey, listen, come on. It's something about
the movement of the train that does it.
All that motion makes a girl horny.
I'll tell you, Bob, I'm not really
interested in a shipboard romance.
- I took the train to rest and read.
- H-Hold it, hold it right there, George.
I believe I see my chickie for tonight.
Hi there. Can I buy you a drink?
- I have one. Thank you.
- Well, I'll justjoin you then, huh?
That's an old fashioned, bartender.
Do you go all the way?
What?
I said, do you go all the way...
to Chicago?
Oh.
Yes, I do.
- Well then, maybe we can do it together.
- Do what?
Go to Chicago.
I mean, you know, we're gonna be...
We're stuck on this train together
and... you can'tjump off.
You feel that motion?
- Are you hot?
- What?
I said, are you hot?
Lady, I am always hot.
Maybe I can cool you down.
How's the latch?
May I?
Yes, please, sit down.
What a nice surprise.
I said, how's the latch?
We have connecting rooms.
The latch? Good, it's good.
It's fine. Thank you.
It's a little bit rusty, but nothing serious.
I'll get the porter to look at it.
There's no rush. Is there?
Would you folks like a cocktail?
A martini on the rocks with a twist.
- Two.
- Yes, sir.
- My name is George Caldwell.
- Hilly Burns.
Hilly Burns?
That's short for Hildegard.
- What's that pencil for?
- Oh, you have to fill out your own menu card.
One macdoine of fruit,
beef oriental, rice, carrots, coffee,
apple pie la mode.
You print very well.
- Thanks.
- I'll have the same thing. You do it for me.
I can't even read my own writing.
I don't do shorthand and I can't type.
What do you do for a living?
I'm a secretary.
- Well, how do you keep yourjob?
- I give great phone.
I have a terrific personality.
- Are you going to Chicago?
- Yes.
I'm going to my sister's wedding.
How come you're taking the train?
Afraid of flying?
No, I'm not afraid of flying.
I, uh...
I just want to be bored.
And you?
Oh, my new boss likes the old-fashioned
ways. He's just written a book on Rembrandt.
He's gonna kick off his publicity campaign
with a lecture at the Art Institute.
Oh, yes? I'm in publishing. What's his name?
Professor Arthur Schreiner.
Have you heard of him?
No.
Most people haven't. He's been a recluse
working on this book for about 20 years.
- Where is he now?
- He's in bed, with hot milk and molasses.
He's a health nut.
- What do you publish?
- Oh, mostly nonfiction.
Gardening, cookbooks,
how-to-do-it books.
Like sex manuals?
I've edited a few.
An authority, hm?
I know what goes where... and why.
- That's very interesting. Are you married?
- Divorced.
How come?
My friends told me
that my wife was too good for me,
and after a couple of years
I decided they were right.
Sounds sad.
You say that your boss is in art history.
Is that what you're interested in?
Not really.
I just got this job because I was available.
I was willing to travel.
- Would you like some wine with this?
- Oh, what a question.
We'll have a bottle of the Mouton Cadet,
dix-neuf cent soixante et onze.
Very good, sir.
- You do that very well.
- I give great French.
- He won't talk.
- We gotta find the papers.
Look in his compartment.
So that was your introduction
to high society?
Look, he was very good to me.
He taught me everything
from the pill to Picasso.
What was missing?
- A marriage licence.
- Is that what you want?
I did then.
Right now I'd like some more champagne.
Oh. Shall I get another bottle?
Two.
This place seems to be closing down.
Why don't we take our glasses
and go to our rooms?
We could even open the connecting door.
We could even
break down the whole partition.
- I'll speak to the porter.
- I'll get the champagne.
You were right. It's that motion.
I didn't understand it, but you were right.
Good night.
- Rapist! Va a abusar de m.
- No, no, no, no!
Pardonnez-moi, por favor.
Excusez-moi, madame.
Rape! Rape! Rape!
Santa Mara, Madre de Dios,
ruega por nosotros los pecadores.
Excuse me.
This won't take a minute.
Good.
Excellent. D is all right.
Sorry. Good evening.
Come in.
This is very nice.
- Would you like some champagne?
- Yes.
I can't get over the size of this room
without the partition.
They are small rooms by themselves,
but they're perfect forjuggling.
- For what?
- Forjuggling.
When you practice,
the balls would always bounce off the walls.
Do you juggle a lot?
I know what goes where... and why.
I like that song.
If I ever hear it again,
it'll be difficult not to think of you.
You put that very nicely.
Thanks.
To travelling by train.
Trains that pass in the night.
- You like my new shoes?
- Yes, I do. Why don't you take them off?
Put them in that locker. The porter
will have them shined for the morning.
Really? That's terrific.
- Is that the master's work?
- Mm-hm.
He gave me this copy for safekeeping.
Do you wanna read it?
No.
Slide over.
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Very.
- George.
- Hm?
Do you really edit sex manuals?
I really, really do.
- But I have a confession to make.
- Oh?
- I'm much better at books on gardening.
- Really?
That's my specialty.
Well...
is there anything
that you might wanna pass on?
- You mean about gardening?
- Yes.
Some helpful hints for the beginner.
Well...
one tip is...
always be nasty to nasturtiums.
- Is that so?
- They love that.
- They like it rough?
- The rougher the better.
Great.
What else should I know?
I could teach you how to treat azaleas.
Oh, tell me. I'm all ears.
I can see that.
Well,
just treat them the same way
as you would a begonia.
- No kidding.
- That's gospel.
What you're saying is what's good
for azaleas is good for begonias?
- You've got it.
- George, this is fascinating.
I thought you'd be interested.
- I'd like to delve deeper.
- Be my guest.
Thank you.
- George?
- Hm?
What would happen if you treated
an azalea like a nasturtium?
Ah.
Now, this is the really interesting part.
Argh!
- What is it?
- Did you see it?
- Did you see that man?
- What man?
There was a man hanging outside
this window! He was shot in the head!
What?
Hilly, a dead man fell off the roof.
I saw it.
His coat was stuck. Oh.
- George.
- Oh.
I should do something.
I should report it.
Maybe they could stop the train.
George, I'm sure you saw something.
You probably saw a kid's kite
or an old newspaper.
Look, like that. You see, George,
it could have been anything out there.
But his eyes were so clear.
I think they were clearer than your head.
- You imagined this.
- I didn't. I know I didn't.
Well, then, why don't you call the conductor
and tell him your story?
I feel dizzy.
Here. Lie down here, George.
Oh.
Whoo!
If this is what the DT's are like,
I'm gonna give up the bottle for life.
The mind plays funny tricks on you
all the time. Now, you know that, George.
Come on, relax.
It's OK. Really.
That sure is a pretty song.
Yes, it is.
You're very beautiful, Hilly.
I like you, too, George.
Hilly! Hilly!
- Hilly, wake up!
- Hi, George.
Hilly, the man that I saw outside the window
last night, this is him.
- That's my boss, Professor Schreiner.
- That's what I'm talking about.
- What time is it, George?
- It's just after eight.
Eight? Oh, no.
Wake me up again when it's after ten.
Hilly, this man has been murdered!
Well...
why don't you go and discuss it with him,
then come back and discuss it with me?
He's just right past the diner. Room C.
Hilly, I didn't imagine it.
Good night, George.
You're a wonderful gardener.
Rapist.
Hey, George, you devil.
Come on, come on, join me for coffee.
All right. I'll be right back.
I just have to check on something.
No, there's nothing here.
Yeah? What do you want?
- I'd like to see Professor Schreiner, please.
- Yeah? Who are you?
My name is George Caldwell.
- You a friend of the professor?
- Not exactly. I'm a friend of his secretary's.
We were a little worried about him.
Yeah? What are you worried about?
Can't I talk to the professor?
What are you doing?
You're sticking your nose where it don't
belong. You and that broad will get in trouble.
In fact, she's already in trouble.
You're the one who's in trouble,
mister, not me.
Get rid of this bum.
Wha... What are you doing? Who is that?
Hey! Listen, you big lummox, let me go!
What the hell are you doing?
You crazy?
What the hell's the matter with you?
Listen, buster, you're in trouble,
big trouble, because I'm reporting you.
You can't be serious. Enough's enough.
If you... If you're willing to forget it...
I don't believe this! Are you kidding?
Goddammit!
Son of a bitch!
This is terrific!
Yay!
If that's you, Pepe,
you're in one heap of trouble.
- No, it's not Pepe.
- Where's Pepe?
- I don't know. My name is George...
- I knew it!
- He's gone off with that Manuel.
- My name is...
Those two smoke a little weed and they're
off buzzing the turkeys in the pickup.
- Excuse me.
- I should have fired him.
- Excuse me. Could I use your telephone?
- Telephone?
- Yes.
- You ain't from around here, are you?
No, I'm lost. I'm not lost,
but I was thrown off of the Silver Streak.
Thrown off? That a fact?
- Tell me, is there a woman in this?
- Well, there's a girl...
I knew it!
It's nothing to do with what you're
thinking. She's in a great deal of danger.
I must call the police and have those people
who threw me off the train arrested.
- Well, it sounds like you're in an awful hurry!
- I am.
That suits me just fine
cos I'm running a bit late myself.
- Tell you what, Steve, you...
- It's George. George Caldwell.
- Rita Babtree.
- How do you do?
If you'll finish milking Harriet, I'll
change and you can ride into town with me.
- Great.
- The sheriff's a friend of mine.
- Wonderful. Just tell me what I have to do.
- Well, you just take this bucket and milk her.
Milk her? I've never milked a cow before.
Cut the gas, Steve, you're a grown man.
I'm sure you've had some similar experience.
Look, you just sit down, take a tit
in each hand and let nature take its course.
All right.
These cows are so full, it's like
tapping a trip valve on Niagara Falls.
I'll meet you outside in ten minutes.
All right. I'll do my best.
Hello.
Let's see.
Just be nice. Be nice.
Wait a minute.
Something's wrong.
You've got four of them.
Oh!
Come on, Harriet. Come on, give me a break.
Nice, fresh milk, here it comes.
Nothing's coming out, though.
Here we go. All right.
All right, now. I know I'm a slow starter,
but where's Niagara Falls?
Hey, Steve! What you doing?
I was looking at my schedule
for the Silver Streak.
No, I don't mean that.
I mean, why are you sitting in that car?
- We ain't going in that.
- We aren't?
No.
Come on, Steve. Follow me.
Put these packages in the front seat
and I'll get the wheel blocks.
I sure hope Pepe filled it with enough gas.
- We're not going in that, are we?
- What's the matter? You afraid of flying?
No, no. I'm not afraid.
Great, cos it ain't no
fun soaring with a turkey.
Look out for the windmill.
Look out for the windmill!
- You OK with those packages?
- Yeah, I guess so.
Well, it won't be long.
We should be in Staveley by 2:00.
2:00? That's two-and-a-half hours from now.
Where's Staveley?
60 miles the other side of Albuquerque.
- Wait a minute.
- What'd you say?
The Silver Streak stops there at 2:27.
If we got there by two,
the sheriff could meet the train.
Yeah, I suppose so.
- This is fabulous!
- Ain't it the truth?
They talk of the joy of sex,
but it don't last like the fun of flying.
- Look! There's the Silver Streak!
- Yeah!
- I think we're going to make it.
- Look at those sheep there.
Don't they make a lovely sight?
I'm just itching to buzz 'em!
- To do what?
- You never buzzed sheep?
- I don't think so.
- Hold on, Steve, we're going in!
Look at those little critters run.
Come on, let's buzz 'em again! Whoo-hoo!
Here we are.
- Hello, Rita.
- Hi, Burt. Is the sheriff in?
- No, he's at Clancey's Dairy. He'll be back in...
- Look! There's the Silver Streak!
- Thank you.
- Don't you want the sheriff?
No, there's no time.
Thank you, dear. Goodbye!
So long, Steve.
George!
This time, try to stay on!
- Come on!
- Come on! All right.
Jump!
- Come on!
- He's done it! Whoo-hoo!
All right!
- Hey, welcome aboard.
- Don't you just love train travel?
- I love it.
- He loves it.
I asked you to join me for breakfast.
This is lunch.
Sorry. I lost track of time.
Oh, yeah?
Well, what were you doing back there?
Getting a little ass?
No, I was squeezing tits.
Hey, you are a sexy devil, aren't you?
Kind of worked up a sweat, too,
didn't you, you horny bastard?
Well, what do you expect?
I mean, she's a hot little number,
and he's very heavy competition.
You know him?
Doesn't everybody know him?
That's Roger Devereau.
He's Chicago's own jet-setter.
He's a big cheese on the Art Institute
or something.
Like I say, very heavy competition.
Are you gonna take him on?
Very well. Say... 3:20?
All right.
George.
Are you all right?
What's the matter?
- Honey, what's the matter?
- What's the matter?
Who left who? Last time I saw you,
you were gonna go visit the professor.
- The professor is dead. I'm sure of it.
- George...
Listen to me. I went to his room
this morning and he wasn't there.
Two dumb thugs
were looking through his things.
They pushed me out
and threw me off the train.
- Threw you off?
- They were searching for something.
I don't know what. They killed
the professor and they're after you.
We've gotta get off the train
and contact the police.
- You've got it all mixed up. They're not...
- I don't have it mixed up.
I'm just worried about you.
Hello, Roger.
- This is George Caldwell. Roger Devereau.
- How do you do?
George has just been telling me
how he'd been thrown off the train.
Oh, you're the one. I'm so pleased
to see you. Are you all right?
- Yes, fine.
- That's good news.
As soon as I was told,
I contacted the police in Albuquerque
and told them to spare no expense
to make sure you were safe.
Reace, he's like a child. Got off the train
and tried to find you to say he was sorry.
How did you get back on?
- Who is Reace?
- He's the one that threw you off.
You must remember him - a large man
with not-very-attractive dental work.
- I do, but what has he got to do with you?
- He works for me. He's my chauffeur.
Not very bright, but extremely loyal.
Well, naturally, I assume
total responsibility for all his actions,
and will pay for any damages.
- And what about that other fellow?
- Hm?
I met another man this morning.
Does he work for you, too?
Oh, yes, of course,
you don't know the entire story, do you?
Early this morning, I was having breakfast
with Professor Schreiner.
He wanted to show me some
important papers connected with his book,
but unfortunately they were missing,
so we searched his compartment twice,
and eventually we discovered them
in his trunk in the baggage room.
It was something of an upset, but if you knew
him, you'll know he's slightly absent-minded.
Mr Devereau, I'm very confused.
I don't know how you could have
had breakfast with him this morning.
George thinks the professor's been murdered.
- Murdered?
- That's right, last night.
Extraordinary. Why do you think that?
I saw him fall off the roof of this train,
just outside this window.
- He was shot in the head.
- You were in this compartment?
I was lying right here.
Hilly, go back to my compartment,
straighten it out.
That man, Whiney,
doesn't know what he's doing. Devereau.
Mr Caldwell, allow me to introduce Professor
Schreiner. Professor Schreiner, Mr Caldwell.
- Hello.
- How do you do?
What did you do to yourjacket?
Mr Caldwell is the man that Reace
inadvertently threw off the train.
Oh, yes. That stupid person.
I do hope you weren't hurt.
No, no, I'm all right.
I'm to blame for this morning's fracas.
After all, none of this would have happened
if I hadn't misplaced the Rembrandt letters.
The what?
It doesn't matter. I'm so glad
you're all right and got back on the train.
Oh, Professor. Professor, I put
back as much... I put back...
Hey, how'd you get here?
Mr Caldwell, allow me to introduce
an associate of mine, Mr Whiney.
If an apology is due,
I'm sure that he'd be prepared to make it.
It is a pity that Reace is not here
to do the same.
That moron. It was all his fault. I was looking
for the papers. I never touched you, did I?
- No, no.
- See?
It's been very hectic for me.
I think I'll have a Scotch and lie down.
Well, why don't you use my compartment?
Thank you. I will.
Hilly, will you help him with that mess?
Mr Caldwell, it's been nice meeting you.
I hope the rest of the trip, for both
of us, is a little less exhilarating.
Let's hope so.
Well, I think I've made
a silly fool of myself this morning.
- Oh, no, not at all.
- No, no, I did.
I stuck my nose into stuff that's none of my
business and came up with some crazy ideas.
You were right. I guess
I was imagining a lot of things last night.
Probably the champagne.
Oh, George.
Here, let me clean yourjacket.
Oh, that's all right. I have another one.
We get to Chicago tomorrow, and I did come
on this trip to work, so I'll say goodbye.
Couldn't you possibly
join us for dinner this evening?
Oh, yes, do.
Thanks, no. I think I'll just eat in my room.
This latch seems to be stuck.
I'll get the porter to fix it right away.
What are you up to there, lover boy?
Hello, Bob Sweet. Hello, Bobby.
- How are you? Huh?
- I'm all right.
Better yet, what are you?
A miniature alcoholic?
Did you know that the Blainard Tunnel
was the highest point on this line?
Yeah, I knew that.
Did you know that when we reach it,
I intend to be higher?
- Just don't fall off, OK?
- Oh, no.
I've left this train once
already. That's enough.
You have? What do you mean?
Last night,
just as I was about to...
kiss my beautiful blonde,
I saw her boss hanging outside the window.
- You saw her boss? Professor Schreiner?
- That's him. That's the fella.
He was shot in the head.
I knew that I had been drinking,
so I went to see the professor this morning
and I found this little weasel
of a guy in his room.
- Edgar Whiney.
- That's him. How did you know that?
Oh, I know. I just know.
Go on, go on.
Well, then, this huge mountain
with a gold mine stuck in his gums
picked me up and threw me off the train.
- But you never saw the professor, huh?
- No, I saw him. I saw him this afternoon.
- Where?
- In Hilly's compartment.
See, the man I saw last night
was a hallucination.
- What did he look like?
- Who?
The professor that you saw this afternoon.
Like his picture.
- Did he say anything to you?
- Why are you asking me all these questions?
- Did he say anything?
- Nothing. Nothing.
He was tired and wanted to have a Scotch.
You don't have any ice in your drink.
That's it. Scotch.
Listen, see, you didn't have a hallucination.
The professor's been murdered.
The guy you saw this afternoon is a fake.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
Listen, I talked
to the real professor last night.
I mean it. He didn't want
anything to do with Mr Devereau.
Besides, he's a health nut.
Doesn't touch alcohol.
Oh, Bobby, just because
you're a vitamin salesman?
My name is Stevens. I'm a federal agent.
We've been working on this case
for two-and-a-half years.
Why are you tailing the professor?
I am not tailing the professor.
I am tailing Devereau.
- Come on, let's go.
- Wait a minute. Wha... What about Hilly?
They won't kill her till we get to Chicago.
They won't try to kill you till then.
Come on!
Devereau's men must have brought
the professor here after nine last night.
- How do you figure that?
- Because I left him at nine o'clock,
and this is the easiest way to the roof.
Somehow he must have escaped.
He got out on this ladder, then ran
back down the train before they shot him.
You're not going up there, are you?
Yeah. The Blainard Tunnel is up ahead.
Come on up and keep a lookout, will you?
All right, I'll try.
- What did you find?
- It was hooked on a protruding bolt.
Then I was right. I did see him.
I'll bet Devereau has already got the body
picked up and placed in cold storage.
Too bad. He was a sweet old guy.
But why did he have to kill the professor?
He was going to be embarrassed
by the findings in the professor's book.
Two of the Institute's Rembrandts,
both bought and authenticated by Devereau,
were going to be proved forgeries.
The professor had the proof
in his possession.
I asked him last night, "What was the proof?"
He told me I was going to have to
"wait for his lecture".
- And Devereau wasn't going to wait.
- No.
I think the idea was to
kidnap the professor, then kill him,
and then, you know,
substitute some phoney lookalike
who would botch the lecture
and discredit the book.
- We've gotta find the proof.
- But they have the proof! They have it.
That's what they were looking for -
the Rembrandt letters.
They said that they found them
in the professor's trunk.
They're lying. That's the first place they'd
look before turning his room upside down.
No. No, the professor hid them someplace -
somewhere simple -
as a precaution when he found out
Devereau was on the train.
My God, I know where they are!
Come on, come on.
The Rembrandt letters.
Holy Toledo, I think you found it!
This is the genuine article,
penned by the old boy himself, huh?
- Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn.
- Yeah.
My guess is there's some kind
of a date in all this
that proves the charges
in the professor's book.
Push the button for the porter. I wanna get
the conductor to radio ahead to the next town.
It's difficult to believe
that a man was killed over those.
This is the tip of an iceberg. You know that
plane crash in Cologne, Germany last year?
That was a Devereau special.
100 people got killed in that one.
It was to cover up his involvement
in the Metropolitan Gallery scandal.
We knew he was responsible,
but we couldn't pin it on him.
These letters are gonna blow his
multimillion-dollar operation in art sky-high.
That's why she was so distant.
- They must've had her in a corner.
- Remember, your neck is on the line, too.
You told them you saw the professor shot.
Yeah, I did.
- So what do I do now?
- You be responsible for Hilly.
- Get her to safety. I'll take care of Devereau.
- Here's the tunnel.
We'll make our move at Dodge City tonight.
It's appropriate, huh?
Gunsmoke at the OK Corral.
What happened?
Bob, what happened?
Put 'em back! Go on, now. Do it.
Get my gun. Take my gun.
Take my gun. Go on.
Get the girl off the train, OK?
Go on!
I got a funny feeling
this bullet was meant for you.
Shoot! That man's dead!
- Holy moly, you shot him!
- I di... No!
- You...
- No, wait a minute!
He's been shot! A man's been shot!
Santa Mara! The rapist! Ay, Dios mo.
I didn't shoot him!
Hey, you're not...
Hey!
He's not dead!
Hold it! Don't move or I'll shoot!
Argh!
Son of a bitch!
Hey! Hey!
Wait a minute!
Wait!
Wait!
Hello!
Hello! Hello! Please, wait a minute!
Wait a minute! Wait... Please, stop!
Please stop!
Thanks a lot, Eddie.
That's it, boys!
Blow those babies' heads off!
Excuse me.
Just a minute.
Jeez, would you look at that!
Bam! Bam! Bam!
Whoo-hoo, that boy's something, ain't he?
# Plop, plop, fizz, fizz
- Oops. Commercial.
- # Plop, plop, fizz, fizz
# Oh, what a relief it is
- What can I do for you?
- I want to report a murder.
- Huh?
- A murder.
A man's been shot on the Silver Streak.
A girl is in great danger.
We have to stop the train.
- Wait a second. You say a man's been shot?
- Yes.
Jumpin' jiminy!
We've never had a murder before.
Sit down. Have a cup of
coffee. Help yourself.
Now, let's get the facts.
- What'd you say your name was?
- Caldwell. George Caldwell.
I'm from Los Angeles.
LA. OK.
- Who was shot?
- Actually, there were two.
- Two?
- Yes.
The first was Bob Sweet.
He was a federal undercover agent.
- A fed. No shit?
- Yes.
And the second was a man
by the name of Reace. I shot him.
- You shot him?
- Yes. He shot Sweet.
- Cos he was a fed?
- No. He thought Sweet was me.
- Reace shot Sweet and you shot Reace?
- Right.
With a spear gun.
With a what?
You see, I took Sweet's gun, but I
dropped it, so I had to use a spear gun.
Don't you... Can't we call someone?
- Wait a second. You shot Reace with a spear?
- Yes. He was going to shoot me.
- With a spear?
- No. With a bullet. He shot the professor.
- Who shot the professor?
- Reace!
- Reace shot Sweet!
- And the professor.
Makes three.
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot.
The professor was shot last night.
- Can't we just do all of this later?
- Was there anyone else?
- Anyone else what?
- Shot!
No, no. But there will be soon,
if we don't stop the train.
Please, just pick up the phone
and call your superiors.
Tell them I have the Rembrandt letters.
That's why the professor was shot.
- Is he with the feds?
- Who?
This guy Rembrandt.
Rembrandt is dead!
Dead? That makes four.
Listen, you sure
you're not making this up as you go along?
I got better things to do
than listen to that kind of funnin'.
That's my hotline. You take the
time to get your facts straight.
When I come back I want your answers
clear and to the point. Got that?
And you can start with who shot Rembrandt.
Hello! Yeah.
This is Chauncey.
No shit!
Jumpin' jiminy!
He's sitting right here in my office.
That's right. Came in here spouting some
bull about shooting people, wanted to confess.
I knew he was a looney right off.
Oh, yeah. Don't you worry.
I've handled loonies before.
Gotcha.
Sheriff, I'm sorry. I was a little
rattled before. It must have sounded crazy.
Oh, that's perfectly all right, Mr Caldwell.
That is what you said your name was,
George Caldwell?
Yeah. I really think that
we ought to get on the phone to Washington.
If they heard what I had to say,
they'd stop the train.
Oh, yeah.
Them boys in Washington are pretty smart.
Do you watch 'em on TV? Bam, bam!
Sheriff, listen to me.
They know all about Sweet and Devereau.
The Silver Streak
should be in Kansas in an hour.
We could stop the train
at Scott City or Dodge.
All right, mister! Just keep your hands
where they are and we'll have no trouble.
- Give me that!
- Don't shoot!
Don't shoot? You stupid, ignorant,
son-of-a-bitch, dumb bastard!
Christ, I've met some dumb bastards
in my time, but you outdo them all!
Get over there!
What the hell do you think I'm doing?
I come here to help a girl who may be killed,
you're playing cops and robbers like on TV.
There ain't no way
you'll ever get away with this.
Get aw... Pick up the phone.
Pick it up!
- We know who you are.
- What?
That was the county sheriff on the hotline.
They're coming to get you.
- For what?
- For killing a vitamin salesman.
He was no vitamin salesman. I told you he
was a federal agent. They should know that.
If you'll just put down that gun
and come along quietly. You're outnumbered.
There ain't no way you'll escape.
What is that?
That's my deputy.
- Get outside.
- All right.
- Get outside!
- But don't shoot. Don't shoot!
- Don't shoot!
- Keep your hands down, hands down.
Hey, Uncle Oliver, look what I got.
- Keep your hands down.
- He's got your gun.
Get your hands up!
Get against the wall! Keep your hands up!
- The whole county knows about you!
- Get back! Get back!
- Hands up!
- They won't rest till they hunt you down.
Keep your hands up! Keep 'em up!
Uncle Oliver, he's taking your car.
You ain't ever gonna get away...
You ain't ever...
Uncle Oliver! Uncle
Oliver, he's got your car!
Moose! One more word out of you,
I'm gonna smash your mouth.
JJ!
JJ, I got bad news for you.
Caldwell's escaped.
Yeah, let's not go into that now.
He's headed down 350, and we can stop him
before he crosses the state line. Right.
Dumb, stupid bastard!
Shit!
- Who are you?
- I'm a thief, man. Take it easy.
How about handing me the keys?
I'd like to get these cuffs off.
Sorry.
That's real nice, the way you
handled yourself with old Oliver.
- What they want you for anyway, man?
- Murder.
Drop me off anywhere here.
I don't mess with the big M.
I'm not stopping.
Do you know the roads around here?
- Yeah.
- Maybe we can make a deal.
I'm not a murderer, I'm trying to prevent one,
but in a minute we'll be surrounded by cops.
If you can get us out of it, you'd be doing
both of us a favour. What do you think?
I think you better make a right up here
and then a sharp left. I'm coming over.
Whoa!
That's how you murder your victims?
Put them in a car and bounce them to death?
- Sorry.
- Sorry, my ass!
You dangerous.
It proves one thing, though.
You don't do this for no living.
- No, I don't.
- All right, just take it easy.
I'm gonna take over in a minute.
Don't make no more sudden moves, OK?
I'm gonna find out the game plan for tonight.
He was getting back on the train.
He has to cross into Kansas
on 120, 116 or 350.
Now, I figure if we put stakeouts
on all of those roads, we'll get that fella.
The first should be at the junction
of Taubman's Road, on 116.
- Why are you slowing down?
- There's a truck.
So, there's a truck up ahead.
We the man! Let's turn on the siren.
Get them hippies off the road!
Put some foot in it! Move it!
Look out!
Would you like to drive for a while?
Car 36, report your position. Do you read me?
Car 36. We're moving in for the roadblock at
the intersection of Taubman's Road and 116.
That's fine, fellas. Car 45's already there.
We're going in for a double block
on all points.
The old double roadblock, huh?
That's all I wanted to know, Oliver.
Fasten yourself in, partner.
You ain't got nothing to worry about.
I got the nerve and I got the touch.
Better pull it tighter. Real tight. I used
to do this all the time back home in Texas.
- Do what?
- Demolition derby.
- I hear something, but I can't see anything.
- That's fine. We got 'em boxed in now.
- Aren't you gonna slow down?
- Slow down? Open your eyes.
I'm gonna make a criminal out of you yet.
Goddammit, fellas, watch out!
Whoo-hoo!
Car 36, what happened to you guys?
Hey, Chauncey, this is Grover T Muldoone.
You wanna know what happened?
We just whooped your ass!
We whooped your ass!
I don't know. I met him last night.
I've never seen him before.
That's what you told us this morning, and
I'm finding it increasingly hard to believe.
- Well, it's the truth.
- Is it?
When the time comes,
we'll take care of Mr Caldwell.
Meanwhile, we are going
to take extremely good care of you.
- What are you doing?
- Following the plan. Changed my mind.
Are you crazy? I thought
we were gonna take the Chevy in back.
Chevy? That's ajerk-off, man.
This here is pure pussy.
Pure pussy? I'll tell that to the judge.
Don't worry about no judge.
This will get us to Kansas City.
How aboutjail?
The office is right in front of us.
Go check the guard, OK?
This ain't gonna take but a second.
Hold it right there, nigger.
- Hey, how you doing? What's happening?
- Step away from the car.
I was listening to the engine. Sounds good.
Does it come with whitewalls?
- Just move.
- OK, I'll move. Take it easy, lower that rifle.
I said move!
A pussy, huh? A pussy?
Can we go now?
I thought you was an amateur.
You're a real pro.
A real pro.
That was beautiful.
Nobody will mess with you.
- Oh, yeah.
- I mean it, man. You're a pretty bad old dude.
I want to get to Kansas City by morning.
Don't worry. With this honey,
we'll be in Kansas City. Get some sleep.
We're on our way to Kansas City.
You thinking about her?
Yeah.
Crazy thing is, I just
met her two nights ago.
That's the way love is.
I always lose my memory when I fall in love.
Like you said, you know,
we just get on the train,
get her off, tell the police,
let them handle the rest of that stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, but what?
I only hope she's still alive.
...arriving passenger Hall,
please report to the information desk
at the north concourse.
Great! We've got ten minutes.
I'll get the tickets. Just wait right here.
- Get the tickets and it's goodbye, George.
- What?
Look at that.
That's my driver's licence picture.
I hate that picture.
Yeah? Well, why don't you just shuffle
right over there and tell them about it?
- Are they the police?
- Travelers Aid.
- How will we get on the train?
- Good question.
- I've got the gun. I could start a diversion.
- Yeah, blow your brains out.
Wait. I got an idea.
You come with me.
- How much you want for that radio?
- $30.
- We'll take it. Pay him.
- What?
Pay him. It's a bad hat you got on.
Give you $5 for it.
- It's yours.
- Thank you. Pay him.
- What?
- Pay the man.
- Five for the shoe polish.
- Why do we want that?
Don't argue, just pay the man.
32, 33, 34, 40 dollars. Thank you very much.
Thank you! See anything else you want,
just make me an offer.
- No, thank you, very much.
- How about a brush?
Nothing!
Can't win 'em all.
That is the stupidest idea
I have ever heard.
You wanna save that girl's life?
Then it's this or we're dead.
Now take off yourjacket.
Come on.
- I can't pass for black!
- Who you telling?
I didn't say I'd make you black.
I said I'd get you on the train.
Now, we got to make them cops
think you're black.
It'll never work, never!
- Are you afraid it won't come off?
- That's a good joke. Humorous.
- Like that.
- May I speak?
This is crazy! Lt'll never work!
Don't you understand?
Are you kidding? Look at that!
Al Jolson made a million bucks
looking like that. Now, here, you try it.
Don't worry about your eyes,
cos you're gonna be wearing these.
There you go.
That looks good.
Get it on top of your head there.
Put on my jacket.
Then you slide this beanie on your head.
Here you go. All right, Ace-deuce!
That's bad. You're looking good.
Here, take this radio.
When you step out of here,
step out like King Shit.
You bad! Put that radio to your ear.
It will help cover your face.
And just move with the rhythm of the music.
That's all you gotta remember, OK?
Let me see you try it. Step to the music.
Step to the music. Yeah! Step to the music.
Stop. How come you whiteys
got such a tight ass, man?
How can you walk out with a tan face
and that walk? Get into the music.
Come on, George, come on. Loosen up!
Listen to the beat. Let your feet move.
Now do it! Can't you feel it? The tempo's right
here. Right in there. That's all you gotta do.
Yeah. Now try it. Don't you feel it?
Yeah! Needs work, George.
Needs a lot of work, you know that?
Will you practise? Man, you gotta
practise, but let it be loose.
Listen to the music. Follow the beat.
Hear it? Feel it coming up?
- I got it.
- It's coming?
You have it? That's it?
I'm gonna get the tickets. OK?
I'll be back. Work on it, George.
God, help us.
Come on, man, get some jive going.
Be cool. Shake it, but don't break it. Damn!
Hey man, how do I look?
You look sharp, mister!
I feel sharp! You hear?
I feel like the sun around midnight!
You dig? Out of sight! Get down! Get down!
Feeling good! Feeling
fine! Feeling real fine!
Loosen up those hips.
All you whiteys got a tight ass!
Yeah, get that ass moving there!
Out of sight! I'm a macaroni!
Get down, I'm the king! Number one, baby!
Uh... Uh... I'm not...
Hey, you must be in
pretty big trouble, fella.
But for God's sake, learn to keep time.
Shit, that's my man! That's my main man!
- I don't think we'll make it past the cops.
- We will. I hope we don't see no Muslims.
- Who you looking for?
- White guy.
Well, if I see any, I'll let you know.
Your attention, please.
The AMRoad train, the "Silver Streak"
departing for Chicago is now loading...
- This the Chicago train?
- First class, yes, sir.
...no visitors permitted
beyond the loading gates.
Attention, please. Will Mr Mitchell
please report to the AMRoad office...
Board!
- She's gone.
- Sure that's her compartment?
Yes, of course. Hey, wait a minute.
- Where are my clothes?
- You sure this is your compartment?
'Course I'm sure. The police must have taken
everything when they found Sweet's body.
We've gotta see if
Hilly's still on the train.
How we gonna do that?
You can't leave this compartment.
Go to the phoney professor's room -
four cars back, room C.
If he's there,
ask him what happened to his secretary.
Give me the gun.
Now give me your wallet.
- What the...
- I need a disguise. I'll get a porter's uniform.
- These disguises are getting expensive.
- Crime costs. Where's it at?
Four cars back, room C. Stay out of trouble.
- Hilly! Are you all right?
- George, watch it! Don't come in here!
Are you all right?
That's what I was gonna ask you.
I'm sorry about your head.
I never would have gone
to the compartment if I thought you would...
- The letters.
- Devereau's got them.
He found them in yourjacket.
- I guess I blew it.
- Poor George.
I tried not to get you involved,
but they came to me yesterday
and told me they'd killed the professor,
and unless I cooperated they'd kill me,
and I thought that I'd go along with them
and that then you'd get away,
and I was really happy when you did,
but I was afraid I'd never see you again.
George, I was so frightened.
So was I.
I was scared you wouldn't be here.
I missed you, Hilly.
You did?
I missed you, too.
George. George.
Hm?
You've got shoe polish behind your ear.
I'll explain that to you later.
- Where are we?
- Just passing the Illinois River Canal.
Well, how are you?
I hope I didn't slug you too hard.
- Where's Devereau?
- Isn't that perfect?
You wanna see him and he wants to see you.
Ladies first, hm?
Come in.
Please sit down. Make yourself comfortable.
Miss Burns, how are you?
Bring us some fresh coffee, toast
and marmalade for our guests, would you?
- Yes, sir.
- Right away.
I've just been looking over
this correspondence you brought me,
and... it's fascinating.
The professor was right.
It's a remarkable find.
I'm almost tempted to destroy it,
but then, on the other hand,
I've always had a soft spot
for things of beauty,
particularly when they were genuine.
Would you put these in my safe? I don't
think they propose any further threat. Do you?
I hope you're not disappointed
if it doesn't work.
I think it will. This has been a very difficult
project, and I have made an error or two.
One of them was bringing Reace out here.
What happened to him, by the way?
I shot him.
Good for you.
- He probably deserved it.
- Did you have him kill the professor?
Oh, no. Oh, no. On the contrary.
He did that on his own.
An unfortunate mistake.
I knew we couldn't kill the professor
until we had the Rembrandt letters.
So, I had to set up a scenario
whereby the professor was kidnapped
and an impostor impersonated him
in order to discredit him.
We would have killed him anyway, but
his escape attempt upset the entire scheme.
Come in.
Excuse me, sir. It's all confirmed.
The car will be waiting at Rockdale.
Good. Oh, Mr Caldwell,
you do remember Johnson, don't you?
He played the professor. He'd have done the
same thing at Chicago with Miss Burns' help,
had it been necessary.
How long before we arrive at Rockdale?
- About an hour and a half, sir.
- Thank you, Johnson.
Now, all that remains
is to clear up a couple of points,
meaning the two of you.
I've arranged a new scenario wherein you are
responsible for the murder of the professor.
- Why would I kill the professor?
- To get the Rembrandt letters.
He found out, and you had to shoot him
because he tried to blackmail you.
Which brings us more or less up to date -
except that in about 45 minutes from now,
the professor's trusty secretary
is going to quarrel with her partner-lover
and shoot him.
And he dies,
but not before shooting her.
Ah, enough of this talk
of plots and scenarios.
Join me in a cup of coffee, would you?
Coffee, mister?
- Thanks.
- The professor's book will still be published.
Yes, indeed, my dear, but without the letters
I'm afraid it will be regarded
as the jottings of a revisionist crank,
an ex-crank, as a matter of fact.
The Silver Streak has its drawbacks,
but try the marmalade.
- They provide an excellent cuisine.
- Thank you.
I'll tell the boys. We aims to please.
- Coffee, miss?
- No, thanks.
- He ain't bullshitting about the cuisine.
- Steward.
- Is that your lady? She's something else.
- Steward!
- Stand up, mama, let me get a look at you.
- Steward!
- Have mercy!
- Steward, you may go. Thank you very much.
- Can I help you? More coffee?
- No.
Half a cup?
- Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Look what I've done!
- Get out of...
You ignorant nigger!
Who you calling nigger? You don't
know me well enough to call me no nigger!
I'll slap the taste out your mouth. You don't
know me. I'll beat the white off your ass.
- Who are you?
- I'm a thief.
It's all right, Hilly. He's a friend of mine.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- So this is Mr Big?
- That's the man.
You ain't saying shit now, Mr Big.
I must admit
that I'm slightly at a loss for words,
but, on the other hand,
I should warn you that you are a killer,
and you are wanted
by the police in every state,
and I recommend that you... be careful.
You're the killer
who's wanted by the police in every state.
That man wasn't a vitamin salesman,
he was a federal agent.
They've been after you for two years,
ever since that plane crash
in Cologne, Germany,
when you caused 100 people to die
just to cover up your link with the
scandal at the Metropolitan Gallery.
So why don't we get them
the proof that they wanted?
Let's go and get the Rembrandt letters.
Get up.
If you insist.
- Get up, Whiney!
- Just do what he says.
Get the letters, Hilly.
Mr Caldwell,
I take it that you are a reasonable man,
and like all men,
you place a reasonable value on your life.
- Are you trying to bribe me?
- No, I'm merely pointing out that life is short,
and the smart man hedges his bets.
You can't protect bets.
One thing I've learned from this trip is
that you play the game and take what you get.
I found them.
Get the girl!
What do you think this is? A Western?
- What are you doing?
- Trying to save our asses!
I'm notjumping!
- There's a bridge! Get ready!
- I won'tjump! I've left the train twice already!
- Get ready!
- I'm notjumping!
George! Come on!
Son of a bitch!
Shit!
Not again!
What are we gonna do now?
All right! Hold it right there.
Shit.
I talked to Chaney. He'll have the helicopter
at Rockdale, five minutes from the station.
- Mm-hm.
- We'll be there in 46 minutes.
Is there any way of stopping this train
between here and there?
Aside from the engine,
there's an emergency brake in each car.
- Disconnect them.
- OK. All of them?
Yes, all of them. And take her with you.
Come on.
They're yours.
- You George Caldwell?
- Would you please just tell me...
Goddammit! Would you please tell me what
the hell we're doing here and what you want?
- You are George Caldwell?
- Yes!
- I want some information from you.
- I did not kill Sweet.
We know. If you weren't so dumb, you'd have
realised we planted that story to protect you.
I've had men in every town
since Dodge City trying to pick you up,
while you're wasting valuable time.
- I didn't know that they were federal agents!
- Well, let's see what you do know.
Here.
- How many men has Devereau on the train?
- Two.
- What's his plan after Chicago?
- He's not going there.
He's getting off at the stop before,
at Rockdale.
I was afraid of that.
OK.
Matthews, over here.
We're gonna stop the train before Rockdale.
Closest is... the Harris Mill junction.
Contact the railroad. Tell them
to make out like it's a routine inspection.
Have Bronsky's men
in choppers from the south.
Get the passengers off the train,
and no slip-ups.
We'll be there as soon as we can.
You come with us.
Steward, what do you wanna do?
This has been a nerve-shattering
experience for me. I'd like to go home.
Boys, take him anywhere he wants to go.
Men, grab your rifles. Let's move it!
Caldwell, your shells.
Let's go.
- What does he think I'm gonna do with this?
- Blow the tyres out on the train.
Thanks for everything.
My pleasure.
Goddammit, Caldwell, get out here!
If there's ever anything that you need...
don't call me.
Don't let them get you killed.
Take it easy, killer. Stay loose.
Where'd you like to go, fella?
Well...
I left my Jag in Kansas City.
I don't know. That's what they said.
Everybody off at the Harris Mill junction.
Everybody off? OK, I'll tell my crew.
- Why are we stopping?
- I don't know. Some kind of security check.
That's the damnedest thing I ever heard of!
Watch your step, watch your step.
- There's the police.
- Watch your step.
- Where?
- Step back. Come on, get back.
You guys are just totally
uncontrollable, you know that?
The police are here. The porters
are asking everyone to get off the train.
Are they?
Keep moving toward the ferries, please.
This is a routine investigation.
None of you is in danger.
Please cooperate with us
so we can complete our investigation quickly
and get you back aboard and on your way.
Please keep moving.
- Excuse me.
- Certainly.
Excuse me.
- Everybody off, please, Mr Devereau.
- What's happening?
We're not sure. The police want
everyone evacuated. Maybe it's a bomb scare.
A bomb scare? We'd better get off, hadn't we?
I certainly am.
Stay with her. Cover us from the window.
We're gonna take this thing to Rockdale.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Everybody's gone.
What are you doing with those rifles?
You bastards!
Everyone's off, Chief, except our boy.
Hold it right there, Devereau!
- Shit!
- Take it easy, killer!
What are you doing here?
What's going on? Who's in charge here?
Will you get down?
What did you come back here for?
- You forgot your wallet.
- Oh, some thief you are.
That your old lady, Hilly?
Yeah.
OK. Follow me.
- Start the engine.
- We can't do that.
You. Move! Start it!
Mr Devereau! Mr Devereau!
Oh!
Guido, come with me!
Keep your foot on the pedal.
- Where are we going?
- We're getting off at the next stop.
- What are you doing?
- This is combat.
Watch out for the engineer.
Sit!
- Are you all right?
- Yes.
How about Grover?
Are you all right?
- Is it over?
- Shit!
Look out!
- You OK?
- Yeah, I'm all right.
Just give me one more pass.
Just give me one clear shot.
- What happened?
- Don't look.
All right, get the junction on the radio.
Tell them they've got a runaway train.
Hey, we're coming into the station.
George, why didn't we stop?
- What's going on here?
- I'm not sure.
- I don't think there's anyone in the engine.
- No driver?
- That's right.
- Oh, God.
Whiney cut all the emergency
cords. What are we gonna do?
- We have to find a way to get to the engine.
- How?
The roof?
I think so. Come on.
- How's it going?
- They don't believe us.
Look, the engineer is probably anxious
to bring the train in on schedule.
This is Chief Donaldson. Who's this?
This is Jerry Jarvis,
the assistant controller.
Assistant? Get me your boss.
He's out to lunch, but I'm sure
I can handle any problem you might have.
It's not my problem.
You've a dead engineer and a runaway train
that will hit Chicago in 15 minutes.
- What are you gonna do about it?
- All right, I'll check with the signal towers.
But, you see, it's impossible.
If the engineer is dead,
who's driving the train?
- What's happening?
- Are you OK?
- Is there any way...
- Holy moly, the killer!
- No, he's OK.
- Listen to me.
Is there a way to the engine
without going over the roof?
There ain't no way to the engine, period!
Why are we going so fast?
- Because there's no one driving.
- That's impossible. It would stop.
- Does this look as if we're stopping?
- No, the hell it don't!
- I better pull the emergency cord.
- The emergency cords have been cut.
Them damn hippies!
I received a report from the signal towers.
They see no engineer in the cabin.
Great. Throw one of those switches
and have the train run off on a siding.
That's the problem.
All the tracks are computer-programmed.
Switching would cause
a collision with another train.
Then what are you going to do?
There are people on that train.
Oh, no.
The standard procedure in such
an emergency would be to derail the train.
In the middle of the yard?
Yes. Actually, I can't take that
responsibility. I better get my boss.
You better do something. In ten minutes,
you're going to have 200 tons of locomotive
smashing through Central Station
on its way to Marshall Field's!
- Where are we going?
- To stop this train, follow me!
Hey, Jack, have you seen Benny?
Yeah, yeah,
I saw him in the coffee shop, Jerry.
Now, what we have to do is uncouple the car.
You gotta pull up that
bar, turn it to the left.
When they pull apart,
they will bust open the air-pressure lines
and the brakes will clamp on
throughout the train, then you jump on back.
- That's dangerous!
- It's impossible, man.
- Grab hold of my belt!
- What are you gonna do?
Guess!
- You seen Benny?
- If it isn't the Little Caesar of the railroad.
- Have you seen Benny?
- No, no! Try next door.
- Yeah? What's the matter?
- Silver Streak is a runaway. What do we do?
Jesus, it's gonna be here in four minutes.
Your attention, please.
May I have your attention, please?
You are requested to walk to the nearest exit
as quickly as possible. Please do not run.
Walk as quickly as possible
to the nearest exit.
People waiting for the arrival
of the "Silver Streak" on track five
are requested to vacate
that area immediately.
This is an emergency. Please continue to
the nearest exit, where station security...
Yeah, we did it, man! We made it!
We made it! Whoo!
Holy shit!
Hello, Chicago, hello!
Gotta drink to that!
Yeah!
I don't know about you,
but next time I'm gonna take the bus.
Maybe I'm crazy,
but it looks as if it's grinning.
Yeah, like the cat who swallowed the canary.
- Where's Grover?
- I don't know.
Take it easy, killer! Stay loose!
What's he doing?
He's crazy.
Crazy? He's got the right idea.
Let's get out of here and go to a park.
- A park?
- Yeah.
I want to lie back on the grass and have you
teach me some more about gardening.