1
- Bro, I told you I don't
like talking on these phones.
- You coming out tonight?
I got you at the door,
come to my table.
- Nah, I'm good man.
I'm done with all the bullshit.
Heck, it's probably some wack
social media star's birthday
anyway who's probably underage,
and you know what that
leads to, me getting drunk,
talking shit, wanting to do
a bump of some
bitch's tits, alright,
and that leads to the after
party, and that leads to me
seeing the sun come up,
and then I'm hungry.
So now I need a double double
with the grilled onions
and the little peppers I like,
alright, vanilla milkshake,
animal style.
I can't do that no more man.
- I don't see the problem.
- Of course it's not a problem.
And that's the problem, alright?
I gotta stay focused man.
I'm on the grind.
A great philosopher once
said, no more parties in L.A.
That fool's crazy, man!
Hey yo babe, is that you?
- I'm gonna
text you the address,
ask for--
- Hey.
- I want you to be
there, it's all good brother.
- Hey babe, I told you I wanted
to be on some kinky shit,
but this is some
real freaky shit.
I'm with it.
Baby?
- Hey, got the address to
the after party, it's lit.
- Um, excuse me Dre.
- Oh hey, what's up girl?
- You're not gonna
text me the address?
- Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.
Put your number in
my phone right now.
- How do you not have
my cell phone number,
what's wrong with you?
- It's a great plan!
I've been trying to get
your number for awhile.
I'm just trying to take you out.
You like in and out burgers?
- We're gonna relax with that.
- Alright, sorry,
let's start here.
- Alright, okay, here you go.
- Alright, perfect.
I'm gonna text you
the address right now.
- Okay, got it.
Wait, wait, wait, Dre?
What's up with that Ryder guy?
You think he'll
be there tonight?
- Oh, Ryder, he pop in,
see what it's like maybe.
- Babe, I was thinking
the exact same thing.
So fucking annoying.
This is my girlfriend Nina.
Nina, this is Dre.
- Hey, hola, mi amiga.
- Oh no.
- Oh, it's like your
girlfriend, girlfriend?
- No Dre, come on, she's not
my girlfriend girlfriend.
Okay, sometimes
she's my girlfriend.
- Oh.
- Tequila.
- Tequila, if ya'll ever
need somebody else, call me.
- I see, I see.
- So like, ya'll wanna come?
Just come through, I
will see you there.
- We'll be there babe.
- Bye babe.
- Ah, hey, hey, hey.
What dah fuck going on man?
Bro, I heard you got the
addy to the after party,
the last after party you
invited me to was dope as fuck.
- I don't know nothing about
no type of after party.
- What?
Come on man, don't hold
out on me like that.
Just give me the address.
- I don't know what
you're talking about.
I would tell you if there
was an after, come on.
- Hey Dre, we'll see you at
the after party babe, chow!
- Oh, chow!
- Come on, what the
fuck was that man?
Don't do me dirty like that.
Don't make me beg.
Fuck man, I told you my mixed
tape is coming out soon.
Young Classic, A.K.A.
Young C, A.K.A. me,
needs to be there man.
I gotta entertain
the people man.
Seriously, need me be.
- The streets do
not need you, okay?
But look, you can come through
on one condition, calm down.
You have to bring a girl.
A female.
Look at me.
I don't care: young,
C, A, B, L-M-N-O-P,
I don't give a fuck.
You need to bring a girl.
- Alright man, say
less, I got you.
I'm gonna bring the
baddest biddy just for you.
You're the man.
- I'm for real.
I can't lose my job 'cause
of you, Malibu's Most Wanted.
Damn girl, what's
wrong with you?
- Will you hurry
up and get back up?
- What?
- Pretend you're talking to me.
- Oh shit, you're Sky!
- No fucking shit.
Now look behind me and
see if April's there.
- April?
- My assistant, skinny
girl, pulled back hair.
Hey, focus on me.
- My bad, ma'am.
- Don't call me ma'am.
- Oh my goodness,
look who it is.
The most hard core baddy
in town, Sky herself.
Why don't you say what's up
to the best fans in the world,
the Teddy man!
Fuck, shit, suck a
dick, piece of shit.
I will fuck you in the butt.
Oh, there we go.
And we back, Bear
Squad, what's--
- Idiot.
- What'd you just say?
- Um, idiot.
- Why don't you just say
something to the camera, Sky.
You know, fans love when I
talk to the little people,
you know?
- Go, she doesn't want to be
filmed you freaking loser.
- You freaking, who even
says freaking anymore, huh?
Alright, whatever, no one
even cares about you anymore
which is no talent
having ass bitch.
- At least I'm not
a fake asshole.
Go somewhere with more
teddy bears you fuck boy.
- She was legal, alright?
- Mmhmm.
- She had ID.
- What took you so long?
- I'm sorry, I lost
you in the crowd.
- Hey ladies, we do have
a party in the Hills.
I would love it
if you would come.
I know Sky, this may be
a little bit beneath you,
but if you came, the
party would go crazy.
- Will there be drugs?
- Oh, we're gonna have all--
- Insane, of course I will be.
So, get the address.
- Yes, Sky.
- I hope Chuck will be there,
you know, he always has
the best supplies.
- Yes, Sky.
- Oh, and make sure
the driver's outside.
I don't want to get
mauled by the crowds.
- Oh shit, is this Sky?
Sky, yo, can we take a selfie?
- April, handle this.
- Bye.
Thanks, sorry about that.
- Nah, it's all good.
But I'm gonna head out.
I can't be late.
I'll see ya'll there.
- Okay.
I'm coming!
- Wait, why are you stopping?
It's like, a couple houses
up and on the right.
- Nah, we're good here.
- But there's like so, so
many parking spots in front
of the house.
- I said, we good here.
- Are you embarrassed
to roll up in this car?
I kinda would be.
- Okay look, I have
an image to portray.
I can't just roll up
in the shit mobile.
Okay, like, if anyone sees me
in this, that will completely
fuck up my image.
I sing about hella hoes
and getting bitches
and getting racks, like
if I'm seen in this,
my image is ruined.
- Right, so, you're a sound
cloud rapper which means
there's like no image.
Like, not at all.
You're kind of no one.
I can't even probably
get you into this party.
But we're gonna try.
- Goddammit Brittany, you're
suppose to be on my side.
- Well, I'm here for you.
- Look, just have my back, okay?
I need you to get in this party.
All it really takes is a couple
of influencers is to just
put me on their story
and like, I can blow up.
- Alright well, this better
be worth it 'cause I'm getting
up at 6am and doing Runnion.
We have so much
coming up, Cochela--
- So basic.
- The Iron Man is in 4 months,
I need to look good,
this is important.
- So basic.
- Okay, let's go.
What are you doing?
What, what are you doing?
- Visualizing.
If I can see it,
I can achieve it.
- Why are we friends?
Okay, you visualize.
Oh my gosh, TMZ
posted Ray Dape died.
He committed suicide:
asphyxiation.
- Asphyxiation.
- Whatever, like, he killed
himself with a sex hole.
It's like that old
dude from Kill Bill.
- Okay, it's probably
just fake news.
TMZ is always spreading fake
shit like that saying people
died when they're clearly alive.
- Or, there's a secret group
of people, oh my gosh yes,
yes, secret group of people,
and they're killing famous
people and making it look
like random suicides.
This is crazy.
- Yeah, okay.
- What is this?
- Time to go.
- Damn, firey ass,
little ass Latina.
I'll be at the after
party in 20 minutes, baby.
- Hey sorry, sorry, I'm
sorry for being late sir.
- Hey man, slow down with your
chocolate Snickers looking
ass, man.
You're mighty tall for an
old baby face mother fucker.
- Here you go.
- For sure man, relax.
You think I was
trying to hit on you?
Aw man, well what if I was?
- Um, thanks.
- Hey man, chill, chill.
On the real shit, man, you
look like that kid that been
doing them dope ass dances, huh.
Shit, it is you, man.
Come on man, let me
see that shit bro.
Come on, hey.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you out here
valeting cars though?
- Honestly man, sometimes
I want it the right way.
You know, do regular shit.
- That's what's up man, respect.
I'll see you around, man.
Do the J Ria.
We said, veda veda, oh veda
- Oh, God!
Oh thank God, you're white.
- Yeah.
- Man, white dudes
sell the best stuff!
- How much you want?
- I think just a
couple eight balls.
I'm just trying to
get low key turn.
- Wait, wait, I'm a weed dealer.
I don't deal illegal narcotics.
- Shut the fuck up,
are you serious?
You telling me the white boy
is not selling the white girl?
- No, I, do not.
- So, you don't have any
Xanies, Ecstasies, Percacets,
PCP, crack, anything
besides weed?
- Yo, yo, hold on, hold on.
I can get you whatever
you want, bro?
- Chill out, it's a camera.
I'm a vlogger.
- Oh bro, you got me.
That's actually neat.
You get to meet, you
know, real celebrities?
You know, actual famous people?
- Fuck you, man.
I am famous, for real!
- Sorry, I didn't
mean to offend you.
- Can't believe I texted
the weed dude instead
of the coke dude, goddamn.
You know, I was gonna
put you on the vlog too.
Bring you a little
business, you know,
show the Teddy Bear
Nation that you knew me.
But instead, take this.
Boom, bitch!
- So vlogging is
a real thing, huh?
- Yeah.
- You know?
All of you influencers
are talentless wannabees.
All of that content is so,
it's so goddamn cringe.
None of it's funny.
And you definitely can't act.
You've wasted enough of my time.
Just go through whatever lame
after party you're headed to
with all of those lapid people.
- Gross, I don't even vape.
- Just, just be careful.
You never know
what's gonna happen.
- White dudes are weird, man.
- Babe, I feel like
this is the house.
Yes, this is the
address that he sent us.
Squeeze said he will
be here in 20 minutes.
What's wrong with you?
Okay, of course I want
to make out with you,
but give me a
couple more drinks.
Let's like go in the party
and see what's going on,
and you're crazy
right now, Jesus.
Should I pin my hair
up or leave it down.
Does it look okay?
Okay, I knew that was
just a one time thing.
Come on let's go.
- Did you tell the driver
to wait for 45 minutes
and come back in the morning
if we didn't come out by then?
- Yes, Sky, but why don't
we just call or text someone
when we're ready to leave?
- Look at your phone.
See those little bars?
- No.
- Exactly, there is no
reception meaning no service.
Come on, let's get inside.
- Boo, did you hear that
raging fucking died?
That's insane.
That's like the craziest thing.
I have to fuck this guy tonight.
- I guess the party's
in he sound proof room?
It's probably upstairs, ladies?
- Wait, this coat is so
good, is it real fur?
- You noticed that.
- Do you know who
these girls are?
- No.
- Should I respond to them?
What about him?
Is he someone I should know?
- He's a model.
You worked on a campaign
with him before.
- Oh.
- You know we can
hear you, right?
- April, they can hear
you, you're being rude.
- Yo, yo, hey, that's
that vlogger, Do Ted.
If he puts me in his vlog me
rappin, that'll blow my shit
up I'll be the next Drake.
- What's a vlogger?
- Shut up, just come on.
- Oh, yo.
- Yo, what's good brother?
- Do I know you?
- You don't, but you will.
I'm Young Classic, A.K.A. Young
C, I'm the next big thing,
man, yo, in your vlog you
should put me rappin, bro.
- How many followers you got?
- I'm up and coming.
- Okay, okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Alright, ah, let
me just turn this on.
- Alright.
- Alright, go ahead.
- We up here on this
driveway, why does everyone
think I'm gay?
Yeah, I don't play games.
I swear to God,
man, I'm a stray.
Yo, what you think?
Bro, that was trash.
Come on, man.
I wasn't even recording, dude.
Look, only the most quality
content goes on my baby, okay?
And at this point, even if
your chick offered to sit
on my penis, I wouldn't
put you on the vlog.
- Oh, not even with these?
- Those are, high five.
Titties, litties.
Flow, shitty.
Have a good night.
- You know what?
I tried really hard
for you, but I like it.
It was good, me, oh my gosh.
You should make
a vegan rap song.
Viral.
- Okay, Brittany, just because
you're vegan doesn't mean
everything needs to
be about vegan shit.
No one cares that you're vegan.
We just like your tits.
- Just like no body
likes your mixed tape.
- Oh, got me.
- Anybody here?
Hey, whaddup?
You seen two little
Latinas just walk in here?
One of 'em only speaks Spanish?
- I see you.
I see you my guy.
You're one of them it's two
at a time kind of niggers,
am I right?
- What the fuck did you
just say, white boy?
- I mean, uh, no sir.
I have not seen the two females
that match that description.
- Yeah.
- Where'd you say
the bathroom was?
- Damn, look at all that ass.
Crazy ass fucking house.
Spacious all inside.
Oh yeah, baby, vivacious.
Oh yeah, Los Sangria,
little Pina, oh yeah,
we're about to get lit.
Oh, jack pot, yeah.
Fuck it they want it.
- In cut two, two
girls walk into frame.
One turns and says to me--
- Who the fuck are you?
- And I respond by
saying hi, I'm Angelo.
Pleasure to meet you.
- What are you like some
film director writer guy?
- Ah, director, honey.
Writers are over wordy and
pretentious, but thank you.
- But feels less.
Why are we laughing?
- Mia.
- What's wrong with you?
What did you say?
- Wow, wow, wow,
look at you guys!
You guys are the perfect cast
for that douchy Indy film
about the struggles of
making it in Hollywood.
- You know he best way to
introduce yourself, huh?
- Okay, let's go, picture time.
There's nothing better to do.
Oh wait, that's cute.
Well the service sucks,
so it's not gonna upload.
- No, no, no.
- Okay, I'll save it, fuck.
- I'm not trying to
hit on you or anything,
I've just got a question.
Have you ever, have you
ever tried acting before?
- No.
- Oh dude, you should.
You got a look.
Look.
- I can't lie for living,
it's just not my style.
- How about a 2005?
- 2005, Batman Begins, Sim
City, Mr. And Mrs. Smith.
- 2010 Merlot?
- 2010 Social Network, Inception,
I'm on fucking fire, man.
- Is this the
so-called after party?
- Okay, alright,
okay, okay, okay.
Okay, alright.
People are here.
Alright, be cool, be cool.
Maybe it 'em with
little joke, ah!
Alright, calm down, calm
down, alright, alright.
Here it is, it's show time.
- Was you sleep with
me when I'm sleepy?
You ever been with a model?
- Ya'll ever been
masturbating and thought
don't no body love me.
Who can relate?
Have you ever eaten some
ass and thought to yourself
this is a shitty situation?
'Cause its doo-doo.
I'm sorry ya'll, I thought
there was gonna be people here.
I showed up, the
door was unlocked,
there was snacks
and alcohol set up
but I looked around the crib
and there wasn't no body here.
- Oh I'm here!
- You sure that's
the right address?
- Nah, I swear it is.
Look, this is exactly
what they sent me.
- Hold up, so it's just us here?
Big, empty house, random
group of unlikable people
come together, oh
there's something here.
There's something
here, do you smell it?
This is a movie.
- Like a horror
film, but a real one.
- Where all of you die.
- Nah, nah, nah, I said a movie.
Not a documentary.
A documentary is
a bunch of people
talking about boring shit.
- Uh yeah, I got alcohol
back at the crib.
This is dead.
So yeah, next one champ.
- I'm here baby!
Who's going skiing with me?
- Wait, it don't snow in L.A.
- Awe, that's cute, but he's
talking about cocaine, honey.
- Oh.
- So uh, where's it at?
You, something about you.
Reeks of nose candy.
- Yeah, I party party.
- And I'm assuming
you're in film?
- That is correct.
- Man, you're just a
walking cliche, aren't you?
- Hey but you know, I
appreciate you that though,
dog what's up, Ted, best
vlogger in the world.
- Angelo, dopest
director in the game.
- Hey, nice to meet you man.
- Nice to meet you.
- Whoa, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
You guys don't hear that?
- Probably just
some drunk people
messing around upstairs, man.
- Yo, yo!
You guys guuchi?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
you hear it?
I know I heard something.
- Yeah, yeah, dude!
Oh that sound of my mixed tape!
Fucked a bitch last night, yo
don't matter 'cause I'm white.
- Ugh, who are you?
- Yeah, um, I'm out.
I gotta, yeah, uh...
- Bye!
- Is the little dottie dot
dot mad 'cause she can't get
one of your world
famous hand jobs?
- Fuck you, Ted.
Your dad loves my hand jobs.
- Damn, that's hurtful.
You know what?
Let me put you in
the vlog real quick.
Oh what, everyone keep quiet,
here we have a basic hoe
in her natural habitat.
Let's sit back and see
what she does next.
Maybe she'll go for the
alcohol, or maybe she'll pop
one of her favorite
penny pills, right?
Or maybe she'll go suck all
the dicks in the whole room.
- You know you talk a
lot of shit for somebody
who has such a small dick.
- Lame.
- Truth.
- It's pretty, alright?
Ugh, enjoy the edibles.
What is this?
- Oh, I think it's some
kind of weed cookie
to kinda balance the alcohol?
- Counter balance alcohol?
Are you fucking 12?
- I was born in 99.
- 1992, best Disney film
ever made, The Mighty Ducks.
- I said 99.
- Ah, 99, Fight
Club, The Matrix.
Kill this mother fucker.
- Bro, you are weird.
Has anyone ever tried this?
Is it any good?
Oh, I should put it in
the vlog, hashtag ah,
get a little sponsor shit.
Can you hold this for me?
- Of course you'd be
trying to promote something
you sell out.
- Sky, don't be mad just 'cause
I have more views than you.
- I am a brand.
You're just a marketing mistake.
Oh you're so sweet.
Are you eye fucking me.
Anyways, does anyone
know if Shark's coming?
I don't have service to text
him and I'm kinda coming down.
- Who's Shark?
- Wait, you don't
know who he is?
Like, everybody in
L.A. knows who he is.
- I have no idea.
- He's got the best stuff.
Wait, what stuff is that?
- Drugs, man.
What have we been talking
about this whole time?
He's a drug dealer.
- And, everyone's a drug dealer.
- He's reliable.
Which is so hard to find.
And he delivers.
By the way, do you like work
out a lot to get that skinny?
- No babe, I just throw up.
- Oh, I can't do that.
I'm bleaching my teeth.
- So uh, who are you?
Sup girl?
I don't know your name.
Ah okay, you want me to
talk that Mexico talk.
Alright, that's
cool, check this out.
I took Spanish in high school.
- You have, oh, no shot.
- Hey, shut the fuck up,
Sky, no one asked you.
Oh, what you doing?
Oh, okay.
Okay, okay, what ever.
Bitch got herpes anyways.
- April, rest room.
- I'm coming.
- Coke?
- Cocaine, let's do it.
- Uh, fuck Ted.
Everybody thinks just
because he has a cheap camera
he can become Insta-famous now.
What's she saying?
She's super cute though.
Hey, I'm sorry I
dragged you down here.
How long have we been here?
Has it been 45?
- Uh, been here for
about 30 minutes?
Do you wanna leave soon?
The driver won't be
back for another 15.
- Ugh, what can we do for 15?
Baby, you can't see it
But it's for real
I'll admit it
And even though
that I feel it
Question is are
you feeling it too
Ah, I have all the feelings
My heart had a
hard time believing
I had hella feelings
My heart had fun believing
No one can really
predict the future
Now I can see you
and me with a future
- Is everything okay?
- Hey, you okay?
- Huh, what?
- Oh good, he didn't O.D.
or anything, he's fine.
- Fuck, what day is it?
- Are you fucked up?
- No I'm not fucked up.
You know I don't do that.
- And, it doesn't
mean I do drugs.
Drugs are bad for you.
I smoke weed.
And that ain't a drug.
- You got your high and
passed out, didn't you?
- Chill.
- This time I know I
heard someone scream.
- We found Shark.
- Wait, were you both
about to go at it?
Holy shit that's hot.
- Shut up, you're find now.
Move quicker, pass
over the good shit.
- Wait.
- On what?
Stop being such a
goddamn coke block.
- You woke me up
from a threesome.
- What threesome?
- The one I had in my dream.
Titties to the left of me.
Titties to the right.
Titties in front of my face.
- There's gonna be a foot in
your face if you don't hurry
your ass up.
- You're turning me on, Sky.
I missed you.
- Stop it, I don't know
where those lips have been.
But okay, fine,
I missed you too.
- Take your shit.
- April, can you go
find your ring for me?
- Yes, Sky.
- Ope, I guess that's my cue.
Let's go get fucking weird.
- You are such a
fucking asshole.
- What did I do?
- Are you kidding me?
You know you did, you're
such a piece of shit.
- Oh my God, no need
for name calling.
It's very unlady--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, put the glass down.
What happened?
- Bro, I didn't do shit.
These bitches be crazy.
- What the fucker do again.
- You're right.
- Ted gave home girl some
meat from the fridge.
- What's wrong with that?
- Yeah.
- She's vegan.
- How long have you
even been vegan?
- That's not the point.
- Geese, you guys are, all
you vegans are so annoying.
You think you're so much
better than everyone else.
Always telling us how to live
our lives just because what,
you care about animals and you
eat kale and you drink water
with little bits of
fruit in it, and you kiss
your puppies in the
mouths and shit.
You have a leather skirt on.
This is all just a
big food conspiracy.
- But you didn't
have to trick me.
I trusted you.
- Who told you to trust me?
You don't even know me.
Ya'll are so dramatic man.
I wish we could just take all
the vegans, put you in a huge
meat grinder, make
little sliders,
put some Saracha on there, and
just end the world of vegans,
and make the world
so much better.
God, I need some
cocaine, are you down?
Alright.
- Yo, fuck that guy,
he's such a dick.
Hey yo, this is your chance.
I brought her for you, finesse.
- Yeah, yeah--
- Hey man, you're just
gonna make her smile
and she's yours.
Watch this and take notes.
Hey girl, you know why
vegans give good hud.
- What?
- 'Cause they like
eating these nuts.
- Where's the bathroom?
- I think down that hallway.
- It wasn't that bad.
- I thought it was good.
- This
is a special report.
- It is going to be a
heavy downpour over here.
Can you hear me
buys, over there?
Can you hear me, yes?
Things are getting very
dangerous with all this rain.
Everybody must stay inside.
Ugh, can you feel it?
I can't, no, this is
gonna ruin my makeup.
I can't work under
these conditions.
Yes, yes, I know I'm still on.
Yes, I get it.
Live television.
Mud slide warnings are in
full effect in Hollywood
till morning.
Make sure to stay hydrated,
drink lots of water,
stay safe, and good luck.
- Damn.
- Alright, fuck it.
Let's get fucked up.
Let's go, I agree.
- What is that?
- It's coke.
- Um, no it's not.
That's not what coke looks like.
- What?
- Oh my God, you really don't
know what coke looks like?
Are you poor?
- Okay, I'm not poor.
Maybe in L.A., but
anywhere else I'd be good.
- Help him out, I'm not sharing.
- Try some of my shit.
It's good.
- I mean thanks, but how much?
- I like you, bro.
I got chu.
- Yo, thank you bro.
Imma get you back, I promise.
- You're welcome, enjoy.
- Okay, that's going
to need a light.
- Fuck.
- Do it, sniff it.
- Hello?
Hello?
Yeah, yeah, I'm down.
Are they down?
Fuck yes!
Shots called!
Cool motherfucker
everybody wanna get to know
Yes, man, we end
program after this show
Put it in our own hands
Classmates you
really know them
It be the chicks
Chicks sucking it
Making it rock
till you don't stop
Keep the camera rolling
But when you see second
shots be the last floating
'Cause you don't float when
you get the ass soaking
Listen to the po,
keep your chest open
Got a couple dimes,
what are you holding
Reach for the class
everything will be burning
Damn this will keep turning
From the left to the
right we going all night
Till the morning
to the light
Jeans feeling right
Everything looking bright
- Big ass bouji
house, no service?
You know what?
Fuck that guy.
Who said you have to trust me?
Young C, is that you?
Hey, I'm really not
feeling this after party.
I say we go.
Don't be playing with me,
you know I don't like that.
Ted?
Fuck you, Ted!
- Definitely Donald Glover.
- Wait, you would
kill Donald Glover?
- Yeah, I just get a weird
vibe from him, you know?
- How does Jambino,
are you crazy?
- Okay, so you're left with
Zac Effron and Ryan Reynolds.
- Have you guys seen April?
- You don't marry Zac Effron
because a man with those abs
cannot be trusted.
- Hello, what are you doing?
- We're playing
fuck, marry, kill.
And this dude said he would
kill Challish Bambino.
- Whoa, you don't ever
kill Challish Bambino.
He's like, America's
most precious gift.
I don't know, he
just seems wack.
- Really?
You better take that back.
Donald Glover is a
national treasure.
- You're not even American.
What, you're from some wack
butt fuck Euro country?
- Yo, I want in on this.
Hey pretty boy, where you going?
You're in on this too.
- Where the fuck have you been?
- Lost my damn lighter.
Been looking for it everywhere.
Ya'll didn't hear me yelling?
- Huh, you're so
gay, you'd fuck Zac.
- What, dude.
I only had those options.
It was all guy--
- Zac, your abs!
- No, no, no, I'm
not gay or nothing.
But, I beat the pussy up.
Fuck gay people, am I right?
- Not cool at all.
- Yeah dude, what's your issue?
- No, no, no, I mean I love
gay people, I love 'em.
- Yeah, yeah, so
you love me, huh?
- Well--
- Yeah, you wanna fuck me.
- Yo--
- I'm gay, nigga.
What, you've never seen a
gay dude that will stomp
your punk ass out?
Why you think they
call me Squeeze?
Check him out, man,
look at his face.
I'm fucking with you, dude?
Everybody gotta stop
being so goddamn soft.
I'm the gay one.
Hey, but if you do say
some more stupid shit
I'm gonna fuck you up.
You had my shit, nigga?
- Oh!
- Finally, dude.
Do you mind?
- Nah, man, you're going
in some good stuff here.
- Thank you.
- Oh!
- That's a healthy
portion right there!
- That's some good shit, man!
- Yes it is.
- Okay, excuse me.
We're gonna do this
thing real quick.
- What are we doing?
- Bear Squad, what's up?
- Whoa, down a notch.
You want them to
believe you out there.
Tone it down.
- You telling me
how to vlog, bro?
- Yeah.
- Aiite, aiite, you know what?
Maybe you're right.
Imma tone it down.
Buh, buh, buh, buh Bear Squad.
Yeah, what's up yo!
What the hell is that?
Yo, alright, more for me!
Ugh, God, fire!
- You can not die in 2018.
2017 was a horrible movie year.
Get Out was dope.
Okay, think, think,
think, think.
Okay, this is the part of
the movie where something
random happens and
you get to escape.
Oh, fuck!
- Fuck, fuck, fuck,
this is too much.
This is way too much.
- Hey, hey, champ, champ,
champ, what's going on?
Talk to me.
- Okay, what if you were
put in the position where,
nah, never mind.
- Wait, wait, wait,
why are you up?
Calm down, spit it out.
You look stressed.
- Alright, bro.
Look--
- Just talk to me, it's cool.
- I'm following way too
many people on Instagram
and it is killing me.
The people I follow,
they don't even post.
And I want to unfollow them,
but is it fucked up to do that?
- Are you fucking serious?
- Yo, I had the
same problem, man.
But now, I only
follow one person.
Drives bitches crazy.
- Guys!
- April, where are you?
- There's a dead girl.
- Let me know how that goes.
I'm good right here.
- Yo, that's what a dead
body really looks like?
- Yo champ, you ain't
gotta be here for this.
- Nah, I'm good.
I swear, I'm good.
I just can't breathe.
I'm good, I'm good though.
- Dre, right?
Why don't you call 911, see
if you can get the ambulance
over here, immediately.
- Well wait, are you
sure that's a good idea?
If the cops show up, we could
all probably get arrested
for something.
- Yeah, we three niggas
and a dead white girl.
I can't go to jail.
There's niggas like him in jail.
Look at him and look at me.
- Just go.
- Yo man, he right.
This shit is fucked.
Who you think did this shit?
- I don't even know.
- Bitch, get up!
- About that, yeah, she's dead.
- No she's not.
She just wants attention.
She's just an attention whore
like the rest of you guys.
What, fake ass blood you got.
Look at this.
Oh shit, no that's real, that...
- Hey, let me go take the load
off me and lay him down, man.
- You okay?
- Huh, yeah.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- Let's get you up
out of here, alright?
- No, I'm fine.
- Look, I know
you're a strong girl.
But you ain't gotta
pretend to be tough,
especially right now.
- Are you hitting on me?
- What, no, no.
- Settle down, cutie.
It was a joke.
And you don't do
it for me anyways.
- I don't know what this is,
but this is inappropriate.
- Oh yeah?
- Given a girl's
situation, yeah.
- Oh yeah, a girl is dead,
we don't know who did it.
And there's nothing we
can do to bring her back.
- Did you know her?
- No.
- Neither did I.
Somebody must have
really hated her.
This doesn't bother you?
- No.
- Then what does?
- Boring.
Well, that and
then fuck face Ted.
He's such a piece of shit.
Well, wait, where is Ted?
- Good question.
- Anybody seen Ted?
- Hey, what's good my Teddy
Bears, we out here right now
just sitting, damn,
stupid ass camera.
What's up ya'll,
we having a party?
What's good, we having an
orgy, what ya'll doing?
- Where have you been?
- You're asking me
where I've been?
Man, I've been around.
I'm chilling, I'm
in the universe.
I'm existing right now.
It's crazy because--
- You are coked out.
- Bitch, I am not coked out.
You're coked out, alright?
- It's all over
your face, dumb ass.
- Okay, I'm coked out, and?
We are having a party, right?
- Wait, who does
blow by themselves?
- Him.
- I wasn't by myself, stupid.
I was chilling in a room
with a whole bunch of people,
and yo, what happened?
- I'm gonna go check up on that
kid that I asked to go call
911, alright, I'll be back.
- Is she dead?
Is this for real?
- Oh, shut up.
- Dre, any word?
- There's a problem.
There is no signal.
- Have you gone outside?
- That's the other thing.
All the doors are locked.
I was gonna try to go down
the street to get service,
I could not find a way out.
- Oh my God.
This is gonna be delicious.
It's okay.
I don't bite.
I know you don't have service.
You know it's okay
for people to talk.
- Okay, fine.
You want some help with that?
- No thanks, I'm good.
This is like art.
This is like making love.
Every blunt and joint I
roll, I roll it differently.
Sometimes you gotta
take your time
and lick it slowly.
Those are the special ones.
And there's ones where
you gotta be quick.
Aggressive, spit on it.
Slap it together.
those are the wild ones.
But in the end, it takes
you where you need to go.
- Okay, pause.
Are we still talking
about rolling?
- Three, two, one,
and we're sober.
No we're not, she's dead, wow.
This is crazy, one more time.
One, two, three, sobriety.
Let's vlog, okay.
The view's about to
be crazy, ready?
Dead girl in the Hill's,
here we go, #notclickbait--
- No, you can't film this.
- Stupid bitch, you swear
like I ain't got cameras
on cameras.
This is my life, I do this.
- Why are you even here?
Fucking no one likes you.
You probably had
something to do with this.
You and that idiot film
prod are the only people
who weren't with
us when she died.
- You know what Sky?
I'm getting sick of all
your little comments, man.
You always got some
dumb ass shit to say.
- Oh, and what?
You think I'm scared of you?
Yeah, maybe you should be.
Maybe you're gonna
end up just like her.
- Mike, we're friends,
choke rougher.
- Imma fuck you up.
- Pussy.
- And then I gave
her this emoji.
That's my favorite emoji.
- I'm good, babe.
- You sure?
- I'm sure, I'm too high.
I like, can't do it anymore.
You think everyone's
okay over there?
- Yeah, probably
some fucked up joke.
You good?
Are you scared?
- Not really, I mean,
maybe a little scared.
- Nothing's gonna happen to you.
- So that's a promise?
- Nah, I don't promise anything.
You never know
what's gonna happen.
I hate breaking promises.
And I would hate
to let you down.
But, I'm gonna go outside.
I have a dope little spot where
I like to chill and smoke.
- Am I boring you that much?
- I like looking at the stars.
- Come on, are you serious?
There's no stars in L.A.
- We're all fucking stars, baby.
- Are you good?
- Oh shit, I still
have my sunglasses on.
I winked.
I doubt you could see it.
Sorry about that.
I'll be outside if
you need anything.
- I'll just be here by myself
waiting for Ryder, I guess.
You think I have a
chance with that guy?
- You're hot.
He's really hot.
Why not?
- Babe, you still
have sun glasses on.
- Oh.
- You know what?
I'm gonna make a drink.
Do you want anything?
- Nah, I'm good.
I'll be outside if
you need anything.
- Yo, what the
fuck are you doing?
Come on, man.
Don't do this.
I didn't kill that slut.
- We don't know that.
- This should keep you
from doing anything stupid
while we figure out
what's going on.
- Well, it was probably Angelo.
That dude is weird.
I had nothing to do with it.
I didn't touch that girl.
I want a trial by combat.
- That's not a TV show, idiot.
- What if it is?
What if this is some weird
experiment, you know?
What if this is like a game
to see who's gonna survive?
- What if, what if,
what if, what if?
- She just hit me!
Burns bitch is crazy.
She's probably the
one that did it!
What, what are you doing?
Yo, chill out, man.
Look, seriously, earlier I
was looking at my footage
, bitch!
God I hate you so fucking much.
Fuck!
- Just make him a drink.
Like, just make him a drink.
How is there no fucking service?
This is insane, goddammit.
Like, I literally can't,
oh fuck, shit, goddammit.
Are you fucking kidding me?
This is a joke.
This is literally a joke.
Oh my God.
Come on.
Die for the titty man
Die for the titty man
Die for the titty man
Titty man
Die for the titty man
- Fuck, there's
still no service.
Yo Squeeze, is that you?
Yo look man, I'm sorry about
that shit I said earlier.
I didn't mean it.
Don't play with me though.
Hey yo, Squeeze.
Yo, yo, hello, I'm
cool man, fuck this.
Yo, I, I can't be here.
Someone call 911.
Get the cops over here now.
- We can not call anybody.
No body has service.
And we can't get
the ambulance here
because there's a flood warning.
- Why are all the doors locked?
I don't want to do this anymore.
I can't be here.
- Just calm down.
- Calm down, the fuck calm down.
There's a dead body.
- Yeah, we can see that.
- What?
Oh shit.
- How the fuck did
you get outside?
- What, what the fuck
is going on here?
- Dude, Ted had to
be telling the truth.
He couldn't have
killed that girl.
- Did you see anything?
- Nah, I was just chilling.
I asked her if she wanted to
have a smoke session outside.
- Let's get out of here do do,
you should probably be outside.
- Doors are locked.
It's clear that somebody
doesn't want us to leave.
- How do you know that?
- Two words.
Common sense.
- Dammit.
- Whoever you are, we got money.
- Shit, ya'll got money?
I ain't got shit.
Okay, okay, now that
Trump's president,
I have no health insurance.
I swear to God, if I get
Chlamydia one more time,
my dick will fall off.
- Wait, who are you again?
- Yeah, mother fucker.
I thought you were
the next chosen one,
like Kendra Morrison.
- Get the fuck out of here, man.
I still live at my mom's.
- Yo, why can't we just
break these windows?
- Nigga, in this
bouji ass house?
Them mother fuckers are
probably bullet proof,
earthquake resistant...
- Whatever.
I am not dying here
with all ya'll.
I'm finding my way out.
- Smoke this.
This will make you feel better.
- Look.
- No, no, we good, we good.
Please do not be that guy
right now saying we all
have to stick together
in order to survive.
You are just as self-absorbed
as every single person here.
What, you think I
don't see your posts?
Helping the homeless,
helping the elderly, what?
You think you're so much
better than us for that shit?
Well, at least I
know I'm a bitch.
If you really were a good person,
you wouldn't rub that shit
in all our faces, and
feel a need every time
you do something good to post
it all over social media.
Look, I don't need ya'll help.
I don't need none
of ya'll in general.
And I'm gonna figure
this shit out on my own.
- Listen, I get it.
This house is filled with people
that only care about themselves.
I'm not perfect.
And I'm not trying
to be your friend.
And I'm not trying to
be anyone else's friend.
I care about living.
And if that means we gotta
get along, then so be it.
- I appreciate that.
But, I'm out bitches.
West Side till I fucking die.
- Peace.
- April, where's my gun.
- I think it's in
your other purse.
- I told you to
always, forget it.
Anyone here have a gun?
- Oh, fuck ya'll,
just 'cause I'm black?
I do have my strap, but
it's in the car though.
- Yo, I'm gonna go
check up on Ted.
Dre, stay here with the girls.
See if you can find
another way out.
- Wait, you going solo?
- I will go with you.
Ted is one way to appliance.
I gotta make sure
he's still alive.
- Don't die, sweetie.
- Wink.
- Nigga, did you just say wink?
- Yeah.
You can't see my wink
through the glasses.
- Cool.
- Hello!
Help!
- Ord.
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to stay high.
- I need you to stay working.
Ted.
- Hey, he's still
alive, good job.
- Listen, I am going
to untie you, okay?
I need you to come
with the rest of us
and find a way out
of here, alright?
Don't be a dick to anyone.
I'm serious.
- Thank you.
Okay, look, seriously,
earlier, on my camera footage,
okay, there's like a guy
running around with like,
a smilie face mask or something.
- Sure he was.
- I'm serious.
What do you think?
- It's L.A.
Seems legit, maybe not.
- Okay, coming from the guy
running around in the robe.
- It's called fuck you money.
- What the hell does that mean?
- That means I can do
whatever the hell I want.
I can go whenever, leave
whenever, I can buy a whole
fucking restaurant
if I wanted to.
I can wear this anywhere
because do it to impress me.
How is that roommate
situation going?
- Hey, hey, not cool.
I live in Hollywood, okay?
That shit is expensive.
- You depend on collab money.
I got the fuck you money.
- Okay, well that's easy for
you to say when you're a drug
dealer and you don't
have to pay taxes
or do any real hard work.
You think I do this
shit for a living?
I sell this shit for fun.
- Yo come on ya'll.
You guys can make up
when we get out of here.
But we gotta go, come on.
- Look, I know it's a room
here with an outdoor patio.
If we can get the door
unlocked, I can climb down
and get help.
- Where's Nina?
- Look nigga, you
go find a window.
We're gonna go look for Nina.
- Come on, get in,
get in, get in.
- No, no, I'm with you.
- Now ain't the
time for that shit.
That shit is for
anybody else, get in.
I came out the closet once.
I damn sure ain't gonna
let it kill me now!
Die mother fucker!
Mother fucker, mother fucker!
Hey, go see who it is!
I got this punk ass!
- Leave her alone.
April, run!
That's it?
You blew a lobe of
one stroke to my face?
- Hey!
- Dude, this house is insane.
How many rooms are there are?
- The door's locked.
- Well, I
heard Ryder's here.
- Um, okay, but like,
if Ryder's not there,
who's sucking the
dick tonight guys?
- I did it last time,
I'm not doing it again.
- Charles.
- Well, I don't even
see a gym in there, so--
- But wait, do you guys
hear that screaming.
- Yo, we're up here!
- Ah, it's 'cause there's a
party in your pants, right, bro?
- Man, if good guys can't
get in there with these...
- Come on, man, do something!
- I am.
- Help, please help us!
- That's the girls.
They're on the other side.
Come on, let's go.
- Hey, so what man, fuck them.
You guys tied me up
and left me to die.
Let's just get out
while we still can.
- Ted, I need you
to come with us.
Like, I fucking need
you to come with us.
I swear to God...
- Okay, okay.
- I will end you myself.
- Okay, relax.
Let's go, chill.
- Okay no, but seriously, guys.
What are we gonna do
if we can't get in?
- Man, fuck that party.
Listen, two chicks and the
shotgun coming with me.
We going back to my place.
You know, more champagne...
- Help us!
- I got dick sucker number two!
- Stop, they're gone.
- You just wanna give up?
- No, just don't waste
your breath on something
you can't control.
They can't help us.
I'm not like you.
- Oh what, you can't have
feelings like us normal people?
Is it because I'm not as
smart or as talented as you?
Because I'm not famous?
- No.
Unlike the rest of us,
you're, you're a good person.
- Come on, let's
go find the others.
- Oh my God, thank
God ya'll okay.
I found a way out of here,
I just gotta go get help.
You're not gonna
die tonight, ya'll.
- You're a soft ass bitch.
- Main Shark is gonna help
us track that mother fucker,
alright, you go downstairs
and get the rest
of the girls.
- Alright, fine.
- Hey, hey bitch.
Smiley face guy, yeah,
what's up, you little bitch.
What's up?
I got this eight plan emoji.
What you got for me?
Say something.
What, come on.
- Hey, what are you doing?
Let them go.
- Hey man, this some bullshit.
You gonna tie me up
and leave me to die
for this bitch?
My career does not
end tonight, okay?
I got so many more
videos to make
and lots of views to get.
- You sound pathetic.
- Nah bro, I just adapt.
Hey, hey killer man.
I don't know who you are,
but I'll trade you, okay?
Her life for mine.
You want her?
- Go, go, go!
- Why did you do that?
You're not suppose to die.
- Take care of Sky for me.
Let them go.
It's just me and you.
No body else needs to die.
- Systems offline.
- Let's go, come on.
There's nothing we can do.
- Shark, I'll miss you.
- I'll miss you too.
Wait till they leave.
- Why are you laughing?
After all we just went through.
- That wannabe
director was right.
All this could
have been a movie.
- You know the funny
thing about fame?
Fame makes people
like you insane.
- No, fame makes
the insane shine.
- I don't know what that means.
Let's just go.
- I'm going back.
I'm not leaving him behind.
But you can go.
- Man they raised me
to be a better person.
I can't let you go by yourself.
Let's go.
- Shark?
- What are you doing here?
- We couldn't leave without you.
- Don't tell me you've been
behind this the whole time?
- Huh?
- Danny, machete?
- You guys weren't
suppose to make it back.
I was just telling my company
here what he had to do next.
You see, celebrity
is an exclusive club.
There can't be too many of us.
At some point, we have
to thin out the herd.
You know, the elite.
Every few years, we have
to take some of you out.
That's where I come in.
You see this face?
They didn't hire me because
I was one of Hollywood's
pretty boys.
- You were good, you
look good brother.
- I was a gang banger.
I was a fighter.
They needed someone to
do their dirty work.
They took me in.
They put me in the movies.
They gave me a lifestyle.
But there's always a price
to pay, isn't there majita.
You think all those celebrity
deaths you hear about
and read about in the
paper are accidents?
You think all those over
doses, suicides, and unsolved
murders were random?
No, mi amigos, we have
to keep the circle small.
You ever heard of the 27 club?
It's been around forever.
That's our work.
- But why, why us two?
Why let us live?
- I'm not.
One of you has to
take out the other.
It was going to be
my comma dare here.
But now that's
gonna be up to you.
Whoever survives becomes one
of us because I'm out of here.
- Wait, when somebody dies,
it's usually just
one or two people.
This was a massacre.
And besides, sorry baby.
Shark's not even a celebrity.
- Look, the elite needs to send
a message, all those social
media people, they
think they're stars now.
I just had to take out
as many as possible.
It'll be reported in the
morning as some random, jealous,
celebrity stalker murdering
everyone and a manhunt
will ensue.
But no one will be found
just like all the other case.
- And if I take you out now?
This will all end.
- Do what you want esse.
Me not important.
I don't care.
The elite will find you no
matter what happens to me.
Your boy here sacrificed
himself for you two
and you fucked it
up by coming back.
Now, you have to
decide who's gonna live
and who's gonna die.
Me, I have to catch a plane.
You keep the gun, esse.
- Am I high?
Or this really just
fucking happened?
- You don't actually
believe him, do you?
- What are you gonna
do with the gun?
- What you think?
- You good?
- Yeah, it went
straight through.
- My driver should be here now.
We could probably drop
you off at the hospital.
- I can drive.
- No, we stick together.
I don't see no sunshine
All I seen is
moonlight today
Wake up when the night falls
Yeah
I just let the
stars guide my way
I don't see no sunshine
All I see is moonlight today
Wake up when the night falls
I just let the
stars guide my way
We be hanging
with the goblins
Living dead--
- Just drive.
- What did you do with the gun?
- I got rid of it.
Should I have killed you both?
- Wait, what's wrong?
Why are we not driving?
- Paul.
- Yo,
Labron is in LA now.
Some of us don't
think he belongs.
You know what needs to be done.
We were gonna have them do it,
but that kamikaze's out here
murdering all these wack
rappers, so he's busy.
You think you can?