1
Michelle screamed
as loud as she could
as she ran through
the graveyard.
But if anyone heard her,
they didn't answer.
As soon as she found herself
in front of the old mausoleum,
Michelle had no choice.
She had to go inside
and look for help.
She opened the creaking door
and crept slowly into the lobby.
She called out.
Again, there was only silence.
Then suddenly behind her
she heard a sound.
She turned around, and
saw her boyfriend Steve...
with his belt wrapped
around his neck,
hanging from the
back of the door.
And he was drenched in blood!
- What happened next?
- He screwed her.
- Nice language.
- Hey, listen to this.
There's this fried chicken place
down the road from my house,
and my sister's best friend
got served a fried rat.
No way. I've heard this
story a thousand times.
I know a true story.
There used to be this camp
about 60 miles from here.
- Camp Arawak.
- Yeah, I heard about that,
- and all these kids got killed.
- Shut up.
Like the little brat
was saying...
All these kids
started getting killed.
A bunch of little kids
were hatcheted to death.
And a girl got stabbed
while taking a shower.
One of the cooks got
boiled in some water.
Mmm, tasty!
The owner of the camp,
he got it in his neck
with an arrow.
Well, it ended up
that the killer
was this shy 14-year-old girl
that everybody picked on,
except she wasn't-
Phoebe, you're supposed to
be in the cabin. Let's go.
- Just a second.
-
Except this girl,
she wasn't a girl.
Phoebe, let's go.
She was really a he.
His aunt had been
dressing him up like a girl
ever since he was
four years old.
If you don't get
over here right now-
Keep your shirt on!
They found him naked
on the beach,
holding the chopped-off
head of another camper.
Jesus.
About 30 people were killed and
the camp had to be closed down.
The end!
Ready?
Wait! What happened
to the killer?
I heard two stories.
One that he's dead,
and two that he's in Hollywood,
playing the dark-haired
girl on The Facts of Life.
Bullshit.
- She's alive.
- It's a guy.
Not anymore.
He went into a psycho
ward a couple years ago.
And while he was there, the
doctors gave him a sex change,
and our parents'
taxes paid for it!
Well, he or she or whatever
got out a couple years ago.
How do you know about this?
My dad's a cop.
He helped arrest her.
Actually, Sean is dating her.
That still doesn't mean that
he can't be in Hollywood.
- Let's get him! Get him!
- Stop! Quit it! Quit it!
It's only the
second week of camp
and you're already
getting into trouble.
Give me a break. All I did was-
All you did was sneak away from
the cabin to be with the boys!
Angela, T.C. was there and
he's the head counselor.
Slut.
And then you tell
that awful story,
scaring those kids
half to death.
You don't deserve to be at camp.
I should send you home.
I don't believe this.
Screw you, Angela!
If you want to
send me home, fine.
See if I care.
Shit.
I can't see any damn thing.
Damn it.
This isn't the way back.
Angela!
Angela, come on.
I... I'm sorry.
Where the hell are you?
Right here.
That's what you get for
not obeying your counselor.
And here's what you get
for telling evil stories
and having such a filthy mouth.
What a bad camper.
Wake up, everybody.
Breakfast in half an hour.
What are you staring at?
Haven't you ever seen
a pair of boobs before?
Aw, leave her alone, Ally.
I mean, she's only looking
at that long black hair
growing out of your left nipple.
- Ha, ha.
- Hey, where's Phoebe?
Hey, all her stuff's gone.
Did you see her
come in last night?
- No, no, not me.
- Hey, what about you guys?
Wasted!
Maybe she got smart. Ran away.
I had to send her home.
What?
I had no choice.
I found her doing things
with the boys last night
that she had no business doing.
I know the rest of you
are nice young ladies
and you won't get
into any trouble.
And Ally.
I'm sure we'd all agree
that you have nice breasts.
But I'd appreciate it if
you wore a nightgown
to bed from now on.
I always sleep in the nude.
Nice girls don't
have to show it off.
Okay, let's get showered.
- Poor Phoebes.
- Forget her, she's lucky.
- She got to go home.
- I wonder what she did?
Must have been pretty serious.
Maybe she got naked
in front of the boys.
Remember, ladies: Nice girls
don't have to show it off.
God, what's Angela's problem?
I mean, who's going
to see me, anyway?
The tit patrol, that's who.
- Get anything good?
- Ally and Mar.
- Alright.
- Man.
I love this camp.
You know, I was really
surprised at Phoebe, Uncle John.
She seemed like she
was such a good girl.
Well, you did what
you had to do.
What did her parents say?
What could they say?
I'm sure it's not pleasant
hearing your daughter tries to
seduce every boy at camp.
I used to brag that every good
kid in New York came here,
and now I have trouble filling
half the cabins
with God knows who.
Whatever happened to
the good kids in the world?
Oh, don't talk like
that, Uncle John.
There's lot's of good kids, we
just have to weed out the bad.
Get a life.
Here you go, Leia.
Just keep your tits growing.
Maybe you'll quit
looking at mine.
You're not supposed
to give food away.
I'm telling, Ally-
Good morning, campers.
(Hi, A")!-
What, no breakfast?
Right, like I'm gonna
eat that shit?
Well, the eggs are runny, but
the oatmeal's okay.
Oh, come on.
The oatmeal looks as
gross as the shit sisters.
The shit sisters?
Jodie and Burke Schote.
Schote, shit, get it?
They look like they're
stoned all the time.
They are.
Not that getting
stoned can't be fun.
Just not all the time.
So, uh, Molly...
Do you get stoned?
No.
Good girl.
Hey, did you hear
what happened to Phoebes?
Yeah, tough breaks.
What's the big, bad thing
she did, anyway?
Nothing, just sat and talked.
That's it?
At least once she was with us.
God, I thought Angela
was gonna kill her.
How do you put
up with that bitch?
She's not that bad.
Oh, come on Molly,
you've got to admit
she's a little bit weird.
Weird isn't even
the word for it.
I think she's a dyke.
I'm totally serious.
- Good morning, campers.
- Good morning, Uncle John.
Let's start this lovely day
with a lovely song from
our lovely Angela Johnson.
Before she does,
let's all congratulate her
for being counselor of the week!
She kicks out Phoebes and they
make her counselor of the week?
Thank you.
I don't know what to say.
I was once a camper myself.
But it wasn't
anything like this.
Camp Rolling Hills is the best!
Can I have Molly Nagel
and Ally Burdus up here
to help me with
our morning song?
- No.
- Come on, Al.
Go on up.
Okay.
We'll do my favorite:
The Happy Camper song.
Don't forget the hand movements.
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love the summer sun.
I love the trees and forests.
I'm always having fun.
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love to see the sky.
And with the grace of God,
I'll camp until I die.
Hey Diane, can I get
a picture with you?
Sure, Charlie.
- Say cheese.
- Cheese!
Perfect. Come on.
Okay, everyone that's going
on the nature hike, let's go!
Everybody else get
dressed for swimming
and meet T.C. down by the pool.
Let's go!
And watch out for the ledges,
I don't want anyone falling off.
Yo, Angela.
Angela, congratulations.
- Thanks, T.C.
- Yeah.
You know, I was thinking.
Today's your
day off and everything
but I was thinking
if you'd like to
come down to the pool and swim-
Oh, no thanks. I'm really
not a very good swimmer.
You could use a little
work on your tan.
Maybe we should just get
together sometime and talk.
I mean, it's your
first year here,
you probably have a lot of...
You want a piece?
I hate green gum.
You know, I'd really like to
discuss what happened
between you and Phoebe sometime.
Oh, sure, we can do that.
I'll talk to you later.
I'll call you.
Where are you gonna call me?
I don't have a phone.
So how long have
you been coming here?
Oh, about three years.
God, you must really like it.
It's okay. It's better
than staying home.
You don't get along
with your folks?
They're divorced.
I live with my dad.
We get along okay.
But he's a young guy.
He needs some time to himself.
I guess this way we both
get our summer break.
- Where's your mom?
- San Diego.
She split when
I was 7 years old.
She couldn't handle
my dad being a cop,
so she moves to California and
marries some jerk foot doctor.
Hey, how about you?
Your parents still married?
Yeah, 26 years.
- Got any brothers or sisters?
- Lots.
I have three brothers
and two sisters.
Everyone calls us
the Brady Bunch.
So I'm the youngest.
I heard they say the youngest
is supposed to
be pretty spoiled.
Is that true?
Sometimes.
I heard cops' kids are
supposed to be pretty wild.
Is that true?
Sometimes.
You know, the newspapers say
I'm the best soccer player.
Lyons Township has had
in the past seven years.
Great.
You know, I've been on the
honor roll every semester
except for one.
And I play the saxophone, too.
Rob Durango.
If you throw me in that
water I'll kill you.
Oh, yeah?
Woo! Yeah.
Hey, Emilio!
Party hats at two o'clock.
Alright!
So you want to go get
something to drink?
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love the trees and sky.
But only when I'm shitfaced,
and everyone gets high!
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love to drink and fuck.
And if you pay me money
on my titties you can suck.
Morning, Angela.
Have you seen
the Schote sisters?
No, they weren't at breakfast.
Come to think of it,
neither was Ralph.
Thanks.
Morning, T.C.
Get out of here!
Hi, Angela.
What the fuck?!
You know, it's one thing
to screw up your own life.
But you also
screwed up your sister's.
- Let this be a lesson to you.
- No, please.
Say no to drugs.
I hate this place!
I want to go home!
What's the matter?
Don't you like to paint?
No, I want to go home!
I hate this place!
Let me go home.
Maybe you're tired.
You want to just
- lie down for a little while?
- NO-
Listen to me. I told you
I want to go home.
Let me go home!
I think I can arrange that.
Let me go. Just leave me alone.
Alright. Jeez.
Well, I hope you
come back next year.
No way.
Well, you can't
please everybody.
Two down and 38 to go.
Um, four down.
I sent the Schote sisters
home this morning.
I found them getting high and
fornicating with
one of the boys.
You sent them home?
Angela, talk to me or T.C.
before doing things like that.
Like I just did?
- That was good.
- Okay.
- What about a can of beer?
- No thanks, I don't drink.
I'll walk you, though! Come on.
I guess you've all heard by now
I've had to send the
Schote sisters home.
No big loss.
I have a counselor's meeting
in a few minutes.
I hope there won't be any
problems when I'm gone.
Good night.
Dyke.
So, Molly, what's this I hear
about you and Sean?
What did you hear?
Everyone knows you like him.
I wouldn't kick him out of bed.
That's impossible, because if
you were in the bed
he wouldn't be.
Shh!
Did you hear that?
There's somebody out there.
I don't hear anything.
It's probably Angela
spying on us.
See? I told you.
Hey, who's out there?
Just us monsters!
It's a panty raid!
' Shh it! . No!
Stop it! Give it to me!
Give me my stuff!
Give back my bra!
Give me my bra!
Give me back my bra!
Uncle John's gonna
hear about this.
You're all in big trouble.
Get out of here.
You know, they weren't
doing anything wrong.
They were just having some fun--
Get out of here!
I don't like being the
Wicked Witch of the West.
But I know what happens
when things get out of control.
Get this place cleaned up!
That's mine.
I'll get Yo"! My pretty.
And your little dog, too!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Who says we get
the boys back tonight?
- Oh...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Not tonight, no!
She's really angry.
Who gives a shit?
Besides, if we do it at
two or three in the morning
she's not gonna find out.
You want to?
- Yeah, yeah!
- Okay, what do we do?
Jockstraps.
Alright, alright, alright!
Call me when it's over.
I think we better
get out of here!
Yeah, but while we're here
we want our
bras and panties back!
Don't tickle me!
Stop it! No, please!
Oh, don't tickle me!
Come on now!
Well, if you don't
give them back to us,
you're gonna be
seeing a lot of this!
You know, you don't
have to go home.
I want to go home.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
Because even though you
did a cheap, disgusting act
by exposing your breasts,
I really think that
you didn't know any better.
You were just trying to
impress everybody,
- especially Ally.
- I was not.
Sure you were. Mary...
You don't have to go
through life as a tagalong.
Why don't you just
try being yourself?
My name is not Mary, it's Mar!
I hate that name.
I'm giving you
one last chance, Mar.
We're sleeping out
tomorrow night.
I'd love to have you there.
Just say you're sorry.
Never.
I would rather die
first, Angela.
What are you looking for, a gun?
No.
A drill.
Asshole.
You guys better not
play with your food.
Yeah, or you're gonna tell!
Oh, look at her over there!
Yeah, we'll get her.
Tonight, when y'all
are camping out.
- Right, Anthony?
- We'll scare her to death.
Want to help, Rob?
No, not tonight.
I've got a date.
With who?
His left hand.
How about you, Sean?
Want to help?
I don't know. Maybe.
Hey, you seem to be
pretty busy these days,
if you know what I mean.
Let me have your
attention, campers.
T.C. would like to
have a word with you.
Good morning, T.C.!
Good morning, campers.
Yes, I would like to
have a word with you.
Thank you, Uncle John.
Before we get started today,
I would like to read over a list
of things that are missing.
Please pay close attention.
One Camp Rolling Hills
sweatshirt,
one blue and white
striped beach towel,
One first aid kit, one pair of
black Ray-Ban sunglasses,
a saw, 50 feet of rope,
the battery from my car...
A portable electric drill,
10 pairs of panties, three bras.
We've been a busy boy,
haven't we, Rob?
And four athletic supporters.
Yeah, one of those are mine.
Oh, which one?
The bras or the panties?
Touche.
Hey, I got a joke. Listen.
Where do you store
lint from belly buttons?
- Where?
- In the navel reserve.
- Hilarious.
- Yeah, that's really funny.
Hey, you want to hear this?
Okay, like I was playing
soccer once in this game,
and I was running, and
this guy came to trip me...
HI-
- Molly.
- You want some company?
How did you know I was up here?
I followed you.
Hope you don't mind.
No, of course not.
It's so pretty up
here, isn't it?
Yeah.
Have you ever been in there?
No, you can't.
It's all boarded up.
So, you didn't come all
the way up here for nothing.
- Is there something wrong?
- We"...
Does it have to do
with you and Sean?
Mmhm.
He's a nice kid.
Even if he did talk back to me.
You like him a lot, don't you?
Mmhm.
But Ally likes him too.
Oh, don't worry about Ally.
Sean's smart.
He knows a good thing
when he sees it.
Yeah, but she's so popular.
She's even a cheerleader.
So?
Well, guys like to go
out with cheerleaders.
I tried out for it,
but I didn't make it.
I guess I just didn't
cheer loud enough.
I'm so shy sometimes.
I used to be shy.
- I'd never talk to anyone.
- You?
Now you can't get me to shut up.
It's more than that. Ally...
She's more experienced.
Which means she probably
has a disease or two.
- Angela!
- Well...
In this day and age,
you can't be too careful.
And no matter what they say,
boys like nice girls.
I'm still a virgin.
And I'm proud to be one.
But I feel so awkward.
I don't know what to do.
Well...
There's a saying
that my aunt taught me.
It's helped me through
a lot of hard times,
and it goes like this:
Keep your morals strong
and you'll never go wrong.
Okay.
- I gotta get back.
- Have I been any help?
- Lots.
- Good. Gimme a hug.
Let's go.
Gross slimy gopher guts!
Look out! Putrid round
elephant hearts.
Dead teenager brains.
Angela. What's really in there?
Dead teenagers' brains.
Hey, grab some paint.
I got this idea
about a year ago.
If this doesn't scare
Angela, nothing will.
How's your glove coming?
- Almost finished.
- Mine's gonna be great.
Angela gonna
dookie in her pants.
- Check it out.
- What is it?
Picture of Mar.
I got it right before
she took a shower.
Man, it's out of focus.
You can still tell what it is.
Look at this one.
This is in focus.
What are you looking at?
No... What do you mean?
Let me see.
Um, nothing to see.
Let me see what
you have in your hand.
Come on.
Uncle John's
gonna hear about this.
Was Angela's picture in those?
Yes.
Aw, shit.
Nice tits.
- Go ahead and joke.
- I--
But I never thought
pornography was funny.
You're right, you're right.
I'm ashamed of myself.
- I'll handle it.
- They should be sent home.
No, there's no way.
Uncle John would
never go for that.
Charlie and Emilio have
been coming here for years.
Don't worry, I'll handle it.
Oh, by the way,
you, uh, might want to keep
your eyes and ears open
tonight, I think a
couple of the kids
are gonna try to scare you.
I overheard them
talking about it.
Don't worry. I'll handle it.
Now this will give Angela
one hell of a nightmare.
L Bu!
Angela's missing all the fun.
I can't believe
she forgot her pillow.
You know, I thought we were
supposed to be roughing it.
I mean, we're not even
supposed to need a pillow.
I wonder where the boys are.
Weren't they
supposed to scare us?
They're supposed
to scare Angela,
so act surprised.
Wouldn't it be funny
if they showed up
and she wasn't even here?
I hope they don't show,
'cause all they're gonna do
is get us in trouble,
and my folks
will strangle me if
I get sent home.
Oh, hell! Turn that song up.
Hey, you know you've got
pretty good taste, yeah?
For a white
suburban cheerleader.
Thanks.
Hey!
Asshole, you almost
broke my machete.
Help me find my glove.
Damn, where'd you put it?
If I knew that, I'd have it.
Listen,
I'm going to take a piss.
If you don't have that glove
by the time I get back,
- I'm leaving without you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, where'd you find it?
Hey, faggot, where are you?
Anthony, come on.
I'm leaving without you.
Anthony?
Anthony?
What'd you do that for, Anthony?
Oh my God!
No. Please, no!
Sorry. Once I start a
task I always finish.
Hey, what's the
name of this group?
You know, they're really good.
I don't know, but I won't
turn them off, don't worry.
I'm so glad you went and
got some more jumbo hot dogs.
They're all beef.
Alright!
- Angela!
- Surprise!
It's not nice to scare people.
So you did know about the boys.
But I don't think they're
gonna be showing up.
I gotta hand it to you.
I didn't think you'd do
something like this.
Oh, you'd be surprised.
Where's Ally?
She went to the restroom.
She said something
about having cramps.
I'll bet.
Oh my God.
Oh, wow.
God.
It's here.
Ally, are you in there?
Oh, shit! Fuck. Stop it!
Ally.
God. Quick, hide.
Where, in the can?
I don't care. Move!
- Look, stand on top of it.
- God.
Hurry.
Uh, Angela,
I've got cramps, real bad.
You said you had
cramps last week.
Yeah, well, I've got 'em again.
Runs in the family.
Why is this door locked?
I didn't want some crazy
person to attack me.
Cute... but the blood
looks like ketchup.
Hey.
Hey.
Have either of you guys
seen Judd or Anthony?
- No!
- Damn it.
What, haven't you seen them yet?
No, they haven't been
seen since last night.
- You're kidding.
- Can you help me look for them?
Sure.
If you see them, be sure
to tell a counsellor.
And tell the two of them
I am extremely pissed off.
- Okay.
- I'll see you.
Hey, Ally,
you want to throw the ball?
No.
You don't have to
pretend to be nice to me.
I know you hate me as
much as I hate you.
I don't hate you.
Don't give me that
goody-goody shit.
It may work on Sean Whitmore,
but it's not going
to work on me.
Has he screwed you yet?
That's none of your business.
I didn't think he had.
Well, let me warn you,
he's a lousy lay.
You'd be perfect together.
Look, do me a favor
and leave me alone.
Don't forget to
run and tell Angela.
Maybe if I'm lucky the
dyke will send me home.
Molly?
You want to talk about it?
It's okay.
What happened?
Did you and Sean break up?
No.
- It's just that Ally...
- What about Ally?
She said she hated me.
And then she said all these
mean things about Sean.
And about you.
And then she said I'd
probably come and tell you.
So you can't say
anything to her.
You promise?
I promise.
Why don't you go swimming?
You'd feel better if
you got some fresh air.
No, I can't.
She'll probably be there.
- I doubt it.
- Where do you think she is?
Probably fornicating.
That was great.
Thanks a lot.
That was fun.
Listen, you don't have
AIDS or anything, do you?
- NO-
- Great.
See ya.
Sean Whitmore...
I knew you'd come around.
Sean? Sorry I'm late.
Sean?
Shit.
God damn Molly.
God damn Angela.
- What's your problem?
- You, and kids like you.
Very funny.
I didn't think
you'd fall for it.
You're dumber than I thought.
Yeah? Well you're more
fucked up than I thought.
Get up.
Get up!
Get in there.
Get in the toilet!
What's down there?
- Answer me.
- Shit. Shit.
That's right,
one of your favorite words.
Well, do you mind if
I borrow it for a moment?
You've been a shitty friend
and a shitty camper.
What else is down there?
- Answer me.
- Piss.
You've pissed away
your good wits and.
God-given talent
your whole life,
and turned into nothing but
a cynical, dirty-mouthed,
wasted flesh!
What else is down there?
I don't know!
Well then I guess you're
just going to have to
climb in and find out.
Leeches, Ally!
For a leech like you.
You should have
been the first to go.
Half hour to lights out.
Hey, uh,
have you guys seen Ally?
No-' No-
She had really
bad cramps last night.
I think she's still sick.
- She didn't have cramps.
- Yeah? How would you know?
Rob, you gotta
stay away from her.
She is bad news.
I'm gonna get a soda.
Do you guys want anything?
No.
Great.
- You want to play?
- Sure.
Man, you want to
hear something weird?
Yeah, what's that?
I keep thinking about that camp.
You know, where all
the kids got killed?
Oh, come on, Rob.
Ally's not dead.
She's probably out
screwing the cook.
Yeah, but what about
Judd and Anthony?
I don't know, they're on
a beer run or something.
Ally's probably with them.
Don't worry about it.
You know something?
I almost went to Camp Arawak
the year all those
kids got killed.
My dad, he couldn't afford it.
- Oh, man, you're lucky.
- You're telling me.
I can't remember the name
the killer went by as a girl.
But I think she went
by... Peter, Peter Baker.
Yeah, everyone called
him the Angel of Death
'cause they said he
only killed bad people.
So, uh... So tell me.
How bad is Ally?
- Pretty bad.
- What do you got?
- Just two pair.
- Let me see them.
A pair of these, a pair of
these and this one left over.
Jesus Christ.
Hey, don't you dare get me wet.
- Oh, we won't.
- We won't.
- Demi! Hi.
- Hi!
Is there something wrong?
I don't know; I just had
the strangest thing happen.
Really? Tell me about it.
Well, I was in the rec room,
and I was bored.
I was bored,
and then I remembered.
Mar gave me her phone number,
so I decided to give her a call.
Well, when I called and asked
her mom if I could speak to her,
she told me she was still here.
So what did you do?
I didn't want to
cause any trouble,
so I thanked her and I hung up.
That's smart.
No need to cause trouble.
Well anyway, then
I decided to call Phoebes,
and Angela, it's the
strangest thing.
When I called her house,
they told me the same thing.
I talked to her little brother,
and he said
she was still at camp.
Well, I asked him
if he was sure.
He said, "Sure, I'm sure."
Then this man gets on the phone,
and he tells me
Phoebes is still at camp.
Well, I was really
worried about her,
so I told him that
you sent her home
three days ago.
Well he mumbled something,
then Phoebe's mom
got on the phone.
Hey, what are you doing?
Nothing, just fixing my guitar.
Well, I wasn't real
interested in talking to her,
because I've heard
some stories about her.
Boy, supposedly she
sleeps around a lot.
Well anyway,
I had to go through the
whole story all over again,
and do you know when I finished
she told me she
didn't believe me?
Well, I told her it was true.
Then she starts to tell me how
Phoebes was never any good
anyway, and how she
hoped she ran away.
Well, I didn't know
what to say to her,
so I thanked her.
Then I got to thinking
how this was all
such a strange coincidence.
So then I decided to
call the shit sisters.
You know something?
You talk too much.
Who locked the door?
I'm going to tell.
Somebody locked the door.
Who's here?
Ally, if that's you
you're in trouble.
You're not supposed
to miss dinner.
Demi, what are you doing?
What did I do?
I didn't do anything!
You're gonna tell.
No more whining.
Kumbaya...
Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya.
Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya.
Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya.
Kumbaya... Kumbaya, my lord,
kumbaya.
Looks like you and I
are the only two left.
Don't worry, we'll still
have a good time.
You sent all of them home?
I had no choice.
I had no choice...
Keep your morals strong,
and you'll never go wrong.
There's still lots of good kids.
We just have to
weed out the bad.
Well, it turned out
that the killer was
the shy 14-year-old girl
that everybody picked on.
We'll do my favorite:
The Happy Camper Song.
Okay, don't forget
the hand movements.
I'm a happy camper,
I love the summer sun.
I love the trees and forests,
I'm always having fun.
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love the big blue sky.
And with the grace of God,
I'll camp until I die.
You're more fucked up
than I thought.
You're fired.
I'm sorry to have to say this.
But I've told you before
nobody is to be sent home
without my permission.
Well, I'm not sorry.
Yesterday I spent the entire day
looking for Judd and Anthony.
I even called the police.
I was afraid they were dead.
What if I said that I was sorry
and that I wouldn't do it again.
I want you out of
here before lunch.
Good morning, Angela.
Uncle John and T.C.
just fired me.
Diane will be
your new counselor.
What?
I have to go be
by myself for a while.
I came to say goodbye.
- Morning.
- Hi, is Sean here?
Yeah. Hey, Sean,
you've got company.
Yeah. Hey. Good morning.
Sorry. Yeah, what's up?
So last night, Angela sent
the other girls home.
And then this morning she
tells me she was fired.
- Good. She's crazier than hell.
- Rob!
Man, I'm sorry.
She's real upset.
I was hoping
we could help her out.
We? H Ow?
I don't know, just talk
to her, anything.
- What do you want me for?
- I just do.
Where is she?
Well, she's at this spot
a mile or so from here.
It's up in the hills near
this old deserted cabin.
I know she goes there a lot.
Alright. Rob.
Tell T.C. I'm out with Molly.
Come on.
You owe me one.
- M.
- M.
How you doing?
Uncle John makes me
counselor of the week
just four days ago.
And now he fires me?
- Maybe we could talk to him.
- No.
It's over.
Besides, T.C. had just
as much to do with it.
T.C. hates me.
- No, he doesn't.
- Yes, he does.
We never got along well.
Her reminds me of
this boy that I knew
when I was about your age.
He didn't like me
very much, either.
- But I fixed him.
- How?
I drowned him.
Hey, I wonder what's in here.
- It's locked.
- No, it's not.
Don't go in there!
Why Not?
Ew, what's that smell?
I don't want to hurt you.
Ouch!
Where did they go?
To that old cabin up in the
woods about a mile from here.
Alright, alright.
I'll be back in an hour.
Angela is about to
get her ass kicked.
Bitchin'. Alright.
I always like to read
the ingredients
before I buy anything.
You'd be surprised what
they put in food these days.
I mean, some of that
stuff is poison.
Too bad they haven't
figured out a way
to make French fries nutritious.
I'm a nut when it
comes to French fries.
Sean!
Molly!
I think we have company.
Sean! Molly!
Angela!
And just in time for lunch.
Oh my God.
Would you like a second cup?
I knew your battery
would come in handy.
Now, who's hungry?
Hungry, Molly?
Well, I know a growing boy
like you has got to be hungry.
There. Come on.
Open UP-
Angela.
Yes?
You're Angela Baker.
The Angel of Death.
Should've called you Peter.
My name is Angela Johnson.
You're Angela Baker!
You killed all those kids
at Camp Arawak.
I've been Angela Johnson
for four years.
How did you get this job here?
Easy.
I've got great recommendations.
From doctors, psychiatrists,
even clergymen.
I did my time.
Two years of therapy.
Electroshock.
It was every kind of pill
you ever heard of,
plus an operation.
I'm completely cured.
If I wasn't they wouldn't
have let me out.
How do you know
so much about me?
My dad's a cop.
He helped arrest you.
You should have heard him
the day you got out.
That's too bad.
Wait'll he hears
what's happened to you.
Molly, honey.
You haven't eaten
a thing all day.
Aren't you hungry?
You gotta eat sometime.
Even if you're sad,
you gotta eat.
Isn't that right, Leia?
Don't worry.
As my aunt always says,
there's plenty of
fish in the sea.
Anyway, Sean wasn't
good enough for you.
He was always back talking.
Speak of the devil!
Look who's on T.V.!
I gotta go.
I'll be back in a few minutes,
and T.C. and Sean can
keep you company.
Oh, I'm a happy camper,
I love the summer sun.
Enjoy the party, Matt.
Your girlfriend is in here.
Molly, stop! I won't hurt you!
Molly!
Stop!
I just want to be your friend!
Won't you just leave me alone?
Give me the knife.
Just give me the knife.
Give me the knife.
Give me the knife.
Molly!
Poor Molly.
If it's any consolation...
You almost made it.
Molly?
You guys; He!!-
What have I told you about this?
John! John! John!
On, God!
Good night, campers.
I love the trees and forests,
I'm always having fun.
Thanks for picking me up.
Yep. Ain't no skin off my tits.
Besides, a girl like you
shouldn't be alone on this road.
I mean, if you're
going to get screwed,
you'd like to know who you're
being screwed by, right?
I quit these things so many
times, I had to quit quitting.
Mind cracking a window?
Boss gotta boss.
I mean, the way I see it,
I'm just too dumb to drink,
and I'm too fat to fuck.
Oh, thank god you're here!
Howdy, partner!