Sleepaway Camp III: Teenage Wasteland (1989)

1
Maria, turn down that radio!
Today's the day
I'm going to camp.
Mom, did you hear me?
I'm going to camp today.
Yeah, I heard you.
What do you want
me to do about it?
Aren't you gonna walk me
to the bus or anything?
At 6:30 in the
fucking morning?
Why don't you shut up
and turn down the noise?
- Hey, shut up.
- No, you shut up.
You both shut up.
I'm going to camp.
I might never come back.
- Good.
- Good.
Fuck you.
Hello, I'm Toni Richards
with the WXIA news team.
We're here at
Camp New Horizons,
where an autumn retreat
called an experiment in sharing
is about to begin.
Let's meet the owners
of the camp,
Herman and Lily Miranda.
Herman, tell us about this
wonderful and unique experiment.
Well, Toni, we brung together
two specially selected groups
from all over America.
The first group is from the
higher-class establishments
and the other is from
lower-class homes.
Lilly, what are you
trying to accomplish?
In our own little way
we'd like to promote sharing,
love, harmony and peace,
and a better understanding
between the rich and the poor.
Thank you.
And thank you.
Let's meet the kids.
Hello, my name is
Cindy Hammersmith
from Venuity, Georgia.
Thank you, Cindy.
Greg Nakashima.
Westwood, California.
Okay, Greg.
Move it along.
Jan Hernandez,
Palm View, Arizona.
Peter Doyle.
Houston Heights, Texas.
Thank you, Peter.
Bobby Stark.
Western Springs, Illinois.
Home of the
Western Springs Wildcats!
Hi, Marsha Holland.
Defiance, Ohio.
Well, let's see who we have
in our second group of kids.
Excuse me.
Your name, please?
A-Rad.
San Francisco.
Do you have
a last name, A-Rad?
No.
Do I need one?
Right.
- And you?
- Snowboy.
From Chicago.
Anita Bertram.
Sautel Gap, Kentucky.
Riff.
Detroit.
Tony De Herrara,
East L.A.
Maria Nicostro.
Where are you from,
Maria?
Um, all over.
Right now, New York.
Why don't you take
your glasses off
so your parents can
see your pretty face.
Well, what interesting kids.
God, that Tony guy
is so cute.
He's Mexican.
Ironically,
Camp New Horizons
was formerly known
as Camp Rolling Hills,
where last year 19 people
were brutally slain
by alleged psychopath
Angela Baker.
Baker, also known as
the Angel of Death,
was allegedly responsible
for another string of
grisly murders seven years
ago at nearby Camp Arawak,
which has since closed.
Things have changed here.
We're now under
new ownership.
- Stop, please.
- New management.
New ownership.
Honey, what is the matter?
You told me you wouldn't say
a word about the murders.
It's okay, dear.
If violence sells
then you've gotta
give the people
what they want.
Okay.
Come along, everyone.
Come along.
Let's go to the dining hall
and experience
some more sharing.
This is a bunch of lunatics.
I'll see you after lunch, okay?
Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me.
You look a little
older than the rest.
Massive drugs.
Drugs, huh?
You wouldn't know where
I could score some coke?
Yeah, there's a machine
in the dining hall.
Very funny.
I just need a gram.
It's already been a
real shit of a day,
you know what I mean?
- I'll be right back.
- Thanks.
One of the many dangers
of being a drug addict
is never really knowing
if the stuff is pure.
- Thanks, guy. See you.
- Okay, see you later.
Here.
- It's a little much, isn't it?
- It's a gift.
You're my favorite
newscaster.
- Pretty good stuff?
- It'll really clean your pipes.
- Happy camping.
- Thanks.
Have a nice life.
God.
What's left of it.
It's just a firecracker.
You city broads should
be used to that.
Alright.
Testing, testing.
Welcome, everyone.
Welcome to the camp
of caring and sharing,
Camp New Horizons!
Thank you.
Would everyone
take a seat, please?
Can I sit here?
It's not my table.
Hi. Bobby Stark.
Okay if I sit with you?
Drop dead, fag.
Hi.
I'm Bobby Stark.
Is this seat taken?
That's not real, is it?
Cool, man.
No sweat, man.
Hi. Bobby Stark.
Mind if I join you?
Sure.
Cool.
Your name's
Maria Nicostro, right?
How'd you remember that?
I'm just great with names.
That's how I got to be senior
class president
of my high school.
- That's nice.
- Yeah.
So...
You're underprivileged, huh?
Alright, everyone.
Let's get started.
Could you turn that off?
Please?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Herman will be
handing out camp shirts
for all of you to wear.
That way you'll all
look the same
and you won't
feel different.
As soon as our
third counselor arrives,
we'll be splitting up
into three groups.
And each group will stay with
each other for three days.
During that time, each group
will be camping
out in the woods.
And we'll be getting to know
and understand each other
as best we can.
- Um, excuse me.
- Yes, Cindy?
What do you mean
by camping out?
Well, you know,
sleeping in tents,
cooking your own
food, hiking.
Well, like, what are we
supposed to do if
we have to go to the
bathroom or take a shower?
Oh, well there are outdoor
toilets by every campsite
and we'll be washing
up in the lake.
You're kidding.
- What are we gonna eat?
- Fish, mostly.
- Oh, shit.
- We'll be catching them.
Fish is good for you.
And besides,
it's better for our budget.
Now remember,
the first three days
you will be in your
smaller groups
and after that for the
remaining two days
we'll all be together.
Are there any questions?
Yeah. Do the guys
get to sleep with the girls?
- No.
. Well, why not?
Because, because...
They're afraid we'll fuck.
Oh, let's all sing a
rousing camp song.
Does anyone know
"I'm a Happy Camper"?
- I do.
- Good.
That must be Barney.
- Barney?
- Barney Rubble?
No, Barney Whitmore.
Everybody, I'd like for you
to meet our third counselor
Officer Barney Whitmore!
HI!
Sorry I'm late.
I guess I'll have to catch up
on all the names later.
Are you a cop?
Yes.
Hey, you got a problem?
Suck my dick, spic.
Motherfucker.
Any more shit like this and
I'll have your butt
in jail so fast
you won't know what happened.
You got it?
Asshole.
Anybody else
carrying anything?
If you are give it to me now.
Same goes for you
goes for him.
Now sit down.
Behave yourself.
Wow.
This is better than T.V.
Hurry up, girls!
We have a lot to do!
There's no electricity.
Hey, gimme a shirt, will ya?
How do you get that thing off,
with a can opener?
Hey, you guys, come
in here and look at this.
Come here.
Look, isn't that weird?
It's that girl.
It's that girl who killed
everybody, Angela Baker.
Oh, yuck.
That is so gross.
I think they should have
told us about this.
You think anybody
would come here if they did?
Shit, you're dumber
than you look.
UP yours.
And how much did they
charge you to come here?
Little rich girl.
I don't know.
3,000 bucks, I think.
God.
And I bet the fucking
government paid them
at least that much for us.
An experiment in
sharing, my ass.
We're here 'cause they
can't get anybody else.
And then we've got
some crazy asshole
named Angela Baker
to thank for it.
- Just sign here, please.
- Okay.
And that.
Hold it.
I need to see some ID.
No offense, but it looks like
you've been through a lot
in 17 years.
I have.
Well, I hope you have a
nice time here, Maria.
Thank you.
Welcome.
Alright, everybody,
now pay attention.
Pay attention.
When you hear
your name called,
I want you to then stand
next to your counselor.
Okay, my group is A-Rad,
Bobby, Riff, and Cindy.
Let's meet over here.
And Herman's group is Peter,
Jan, Maria and Snowboy.
Right over here.
- Maria? Are you Maria?
- Oh.
Alright.
Barney's group is Marsha,
Tony, Anita and Greg.
Right over there.
Alright, everybody.
I know that in the
next three days
we'll get to know each
other much better.
When we all get
together again,
I promise it
won't be the same.
- Let's go.
- There's spray paint on my map.
- He spray painted your map?
- Yes.
Well, at least he didn't
graffiti the tree, dear.
Okay? Let's go.
Come on!
Come on, come on.
We're here.
Home sweet home.
Just put everything down...
and rest.
God, we finally made it.
Oh, it's not that bad.
Back home we've got
hills like this all over.
So do we, the Hollywood Hills.
Right, Tony?
I guess.
Who's hungry?
- I am. I am
- I am.
Good, let's cook something
before we set up camp.
I know we're supposed to
catch fish, and we will.
Maybe tomorrow.
But I thought you guys would
like a little something special.
I know I'm bending the
rules a little bit, but...
- Whoa, hey!
- Hey, wieners!
You can break the rules.
You're a cop.
Look.
I'm doing it now because
when I had a chance to
do it with my own son, I didn't.
How old is he?
My son would
have been 18.
He was murdered
here last year.
God, I'm sorry.
You didn't know.
Hey, look, uh...
I'm sorry for giving
you a hard time.
It's alright.
I'm used to it.
I'm a cop, remember?
Yeah.
Where'd you learn
to chop wood like that?
I've never chopped
it before,
but I've chopped
other things.
Let me know when you
want these sticks, Mr. Miranda.
Any time now, sweet pea.
And call me Herman.
- Where's Snowboy?
- I don't know.
Snowboy!
Yeah, what?
Time to go fishing.
What a dildo.
- Do we have to?
- We gotta eat, don't we?
I hate fish.
That's no way to talk,
sweet pea.
You guys go get a couple
poles and some bait
and I'll meet you down
by the lake in a few minutes.
Okay.
Sweet pea.
Come on out,
sweet pea.
Daddy won't make
you go fishing
if you don't want to,
sweet pea.
Hey, you know,
this is kind of fun.
Yeah.
Kind of stupid,
if you ask me.
I think I caught something.
- Oh.
- Where'd that thing come from?
Storm must have
washed it up.
- Lot of trash in this lake.
- What day is it, anyway?
- It's Saturday.
- Yeah, the 14th.
Here.
I'll do it.
You get used to it
after a while.
- It's kind of fun.
- Trip out!
Herman should
be here by now.
I wonder what's
taking him so long.
He's trying to get into
that rich skank's pants.
That's disgusting.
I wouldn't mind having
a piece of her myself.
No!
Come here, dude,
let me try.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- We've got company.
- Oh, shit.
Maria.
Maria,
give me a chance!
My old lady don't
give me no more
of nothing no more.
Herman!
Herman, come back in here.
What are you doing?
Good thing you're dead,
because in a couple years
your breasts would have been
sagging something terrible.
Hey, when are Herman
and Janet coming back?
Not for a long time.
But before he left he said
we should go to be early.
We've got a
big day tomorrow.
- You brat.
- Screw off.
Snowboy, would you
help me with the fish?
- I'm busy.
- Doing what?
I'm making art.
Trip out on this.
That's my tent.
Bombs away!
I warned you.
Party all night!
Teenage wasteland!
Why did I think this year
would be any different?
That was the best burger
I have ever eaten.
- Sounds like it.
- Mine, too.
- Thanks for cooking, Tony.
- Yeah, thanks Tony.
No problem.
Well, I've got to
go to the latrine.
Nothing against your
burgers, Tony.
Tony, why don't
you go with her?
- No, I'll be alright.
- Maybe so.
But I don't want
you going by yourself.
Go ahead.
Fine.
God.
Tony's escort service.
Can you believe that
about Barney's son?
- God, I know.
- God.
If I had known all that
had happened,
I would never
have come here.
- Would you have?
- No way.
This place gives
me the creeps.
Yeah.
But I'm glad to
be out of L.A.
Hey, did you hear that?
- What?
- Something in the woods.
No.
Now come on.
Give me the flashlight.
Hey, who the hell's out there?
Who is it?
Who is it?
What do you want?
Stop it.
Batter up.
I'm not very active
in the morning
until I've had my coffee.
Is it almost done?
Riff. Riff.
Riff, please turn
the music down.
You scared the
shit out of me.
Sorry.
It's an old habit.
What are you
doing here?
I'm supposed to switch with
someone from this group.
Herman said so.
He wasn't supposed to...
He's always screwing up.
So who's like, the shithead
you're supposed
to switch with?
You.
That's fucking great.
Hey, how old
are you, anyway?
- Seventeen.
- Oh. You look older.
I know.
When I was young,
our town's water supply
didn't have any fluoride.
Hey, how come there's
only two tents?
The other one
got sort of wrecked.
It was pretty wild
here last night.
- Alright.
- That tent's yours.
I think Peter and Snowboy
are in there right now.
Anybody home?
There's no one in here.
You bitch!
That hurt.
Don't you ever...
You're a Gemini,
and a Cancer...
Aries.
I'm a Libra.
Now that we know each
other's signs... Maria!
Come join us.
I call this our
sharing and caring time.
For instance,
what's your favorite movie?
- E.T.
- That's nice.
Bobby, what's yours?
I like movies that make
America look great.
Like...
Like Rambo Part 3.
Great film.
Cindy, what's your
favorite movie?
Oh, I don't know.
Ones with really
good acting,
like Gone with the Wind,
or The Carebears.
How about it, Riff?
Ones with tits and blood.
Well...
What I want
to know is why
we have to keep listening
to these stupid rap tapes.
I mean, who likes
that stuff anymore?
- Fuck you.
- Riff, now--
I mean, rap is a hell
of a lot better
than that country shit.
I never said
I liked country.
I'd rather see that than a bunch
of darkies who can't sing.
- Bitch.
- Riff.
You dirty nigger.
Riff, stop it!
Stop it right now!
Stop it right now or I will
call Officer Whitmore.
Shame on you, Cindy.
So... Maria.
What's your favorite color?
- Blood-red.
- Hey, me too.
- Really?
- Yeah!
Oh, sharing.
That's nice.
He scared that raccoon
half to death.
It was so funny.
Come on, Tony.
Scream again,
we want to hear it, come on.
This white girl keeps
giving me a hard time.
- You poor baby.
- I hate to ask this,
but whatever happened
to Angela Baker?
Nobody knows.
There've been no pictures of
her since seven years ago.
Plus, when she was 18 her
juvenile records were destroyed.
So all we have to go
on are descriptions.
But she was a counselor
here last year.
Didn't anyone take
a picture with her?
Nope.
She wasn't very popular.
Supposedly
nobody wanted to.
Well, what did she look like?
She's white.
5 foot 5, 115 pounds,
brown eyes, reddish-brown hair.
She's 21 years old.
And what would you do
if you ever met her?
I'd kill her.
Alright, you sharers.
Come gather 'round.
Alright, everyone.
It's time to put our
differences aside, Cindy,
and try to move on.
Atta girl.
We're going to do
a trust game right now.
Let's break up into pairs.
Let's break up
into pairs, Bobby.
Looks like you and
me are partners-
- Shut up!
- Cool, man. Right on.
One of you will be
blindfolded with
your hands tied
behind your back.
Your partners will then
lead you around
and after 15 minutes
or so you'll switch.
Oh, this'll be fun.
You can go first.
- Good work.
- Ow.
Oh, did I hurt you?
I'm sorry.
How you doing, honey?
- Okay.
- Good.
I wish I could
say the same.
That nigger could
have killed me.
I bet he would
have liked that, too.
He could brag to
all his homeboys
how he massacred
some rich white girl.
Those street gangs
do that, you know.
- Would you watch out?
- Sorry.
Be a good girl and stay
right there just a second.
- Hey!
- Gotta have my ciggy-
There's something
crawling on me!
- I don't see anything.
- Get this blindfold off.
What did you put on me?
Honey, it was nothing.
Your turn.
You don't have to get
so screwed up about it.
You city kids have just got
to get used to the country.
- Too tight?
- Yeah.
- Where are we?
- It's a surprise.
Well, I'm getting tired
and my feet hurt.
I thought you country girls
were used to this kind of stuff.
- Ha ha.
- Are you a cheerleader?
Yes.
- Are you a virgin?
- No!
- Do you take drugs?
- Doesn't everybody?
- Strike three.
- It's about time we stopped.
Take this stuff
off me right now.
Did you hear me?
Oh, I get it.
You're leaving me now.
Oh, help!
Something's crawling on me.
Hey!
What...
What are you doing?!
God!
Oh, is this some
kind of joke?
Oh, you think
this is funny?
You don't know who
you're messing with.
Do you know who my dad is?
What's going on?
Let me down!
Stop it!
I'll sue you for
everything you've got!
Stop it!
Why are you
doing this to me?!
Because you're a cheerleader,
a fornicator, a drug taker,
a nasty, snotty bigot,
and besides that,
you're real nice.
- Where's Cindy?
- She's at the main camp.
She's got a headache.
Oh, be a dear
and go get her.
And while you're at it,
grab that garbage bag
next to my tent and put it in
the dump behind the dining hall.
Oh, and I'm almost
out of bug spray.
There's some in the
pantry next to the kitchen.
The door should be open.
Take the trail by
the old outhouse.
- Isn't there a cabin up there?
- Yeah, it was torn down.
Is that where they found all
those dead bodies last year?
How'd you know about that?
I guess I read about it.
Don't tell the others.
It'll spook 'em.
Hurry back.
It's almost time for lunch.
- Good morning, campers.
- Good morning, Angela.
Isn't it a wonderful
day to be alive?
Yes!
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love the summer sun.
I love the trees and forests.
I'm always having fun.
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love the clear blue sky.
And with the grace of God,
I'll camp until I die.
Thank you!
Thank you!
As some of you may know...
I've had a lot of
hard times in my life.
I've been abused, picked on,
and misunderstood
as long as I
can remember.
But that's why places
like this are so great.
We can go to camp and
learn to love each other.
Thanks for being
such good kids.
You've made this camp
a lot of fun.
I love you all.
You like me.
You really, really like me!
Thanks, dear.
ls Cindy coming?
No. She's resting in
one of the cabins.
She's not supposed
to do that.
Oh, well.
What can I do?
Well, are you ready
for another trust game?
I thought it was
time to eat.
Well, it's almost time.
Bobby, come over here, dear.
I want you two
to stand together.
Come on,
side by side.
And I'm going to
tie you together.
Now, you're going to have
to coordinate your walking,
and your hand movements,
everything.
On, Riff.
Since Cindy's
not feeling well,
looks like you and I
are gonna be partners.
No fucking way.
How long do we
have to do this for?
Well, until you catch enough
fish for lunch and dinner.
It'll test how well
you work together.
What about the
steak you were cooking?
That was mine.
I'm allergic to fish.
Here, give me the hook.
There.
Wow, you're good at that.
Yeah, that's what
everybody says.
Now cast.
So Why'd you
come here, anyway?
Well, it's a
once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Plus it'll look great
on my resume.
Will you hold this for a minute?
Sure.
Can I tell you something?
What?
I think you're nice.
Thanks.
Do you think I'm nice?
Yeah, I guess.
Good.
Can I tell you
something else?
What?
I like being tied up.
Especially next to you.
It turns me on.
Stop it!
- I thought you wanted it!
- No!
Your type always does.
At least not now.
Meet me at the main camp
right after dark.
How will we
get away from Lilly?
Don't worry.
I'll handle it.
Oh, excuse me.
Just keep it down.
Good job, but why don't
you put them down?
Riff?
Marie and Bobby caught the fish.
I think you should clean them.
Oh, fuck that shit.
Bobby, maybe
you should clean them.
But that's not fair.
He never does anything.
I'll handle it!
HI!
Look, we just spent
two hours catching fish.
I think it's only fair
that you clean them.
Can you please turn that down?
What?
I said turn down the music!
What?
You heard me
the first time!
What?
Bobby, clean the fish.
This is pretty easy.
- Oh, yeah?
- Make it harder.
- Hey, how's that?
- Alright, alright, stop it!
Stop it, I'm getting dizzy.
God.
Ouch.
Get this off me.
Alright, it's gonna
be your turn now.
- Nuh-uh.
- Mm-hm.
- I'll tell. I'll do it.
- Oh, jeez. I'm scared.
Hey, so what's it like
where you live, huh?
- Where I live it's kind of-
- Oh, no, don't tell me.
You go to a little
red brick school
and you're in the choir.
It's orange brick and
I'm in the band.
Same difference.
You got really nice parents,
and your town has a park
where every 4th of July
there's fireworks,
plus at Christmas
there's a big parade
when Santa Claus arrives.
- Yes! Yes.
- Am I right?
You don't have to make
fun of me, you know.
And what have you been doing
to me this whole weekend?
Tony, are you in a gang?
- Yeah.
- Really?
Where I come from
everybody is.
God.
Well, what is that like?
Oh, you know!
Baggy pants, man!
The low riders!
The bandanas.
All that gang shit.
I wish I could get out.
Why don't you?
Because the only way
to do that is to move.
- Well, you could move.
- Yeah, I could.
Maybe I'll come live
with you in Idaho.
- It's Ohio. Same difference.
- Same difference.
Are you scared of me?
No. Well...
I was, kind of.
You're very pretty.
Thanks.
Can I kiss you?
- Wait.
- What's wrong?
Nothing. Just,
if we're gonna make love...
You have to wear
one of these.
- Okay?
- I'm moving to Ohio.
Lilly.
Let's play the blindfold
game together.
Oh, no, I don't think so.
Please?
I'll lead you back to camp.
That was you can
check up on Cindy.
Why not? I was beginning
to worry about her anyway.
I'll get two strips of cloth.
I got some.
I'll do you.
So are you planning
a trip soon?
Yes, Herman and I
are going to Europe.
It'll be very expensive,
but like Herman says,
we're worth it.
You know, I saw
cockroaches in the pantry.
And I think I saw a mouse.
Really?
We've got to do
something about that.
Yeah.
Why do you
bury your trash?
Uh, garbage companies
cost an arm and a leg.
They're not that expensive.
Every penny counts,
let me tell you.
It hasn't been easy
taking over this place.
Nobody wants to go
to a camp where
everyone's been slaughtered.
So, have you ordered
your tickets yet?
No.
Good, because your
trip's been cancelled.
Let me out of here!
Get me out of here!
What are you doing?!
Stop, get me out of here!
There's rats in here!
They'll eat me alive!
Don't worry.
They'll be suffocated soon.
What are you doing?
Get me out of here!
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love the summer sun.
I love the trees and forests.
I'm always having fun.
Oh, I'm a happy camper.
I love the clear blue sky.
And with the grace of God,
I'll camp until I die.
Help me!
I changed my mind about Europe.
You can go with us!
By the way-
Your husband fools around.
You can't leave me.
You can't leave me.
Come back!
Come back!
Oh, no.
You're in big trouble.
You little shit,
get back here right now!
Come back here,
did you hear me?!
Come back and
dig me out of here!
No, no!
Not the lawnmower!
No
No
Guess who?
- Bobby?
- Yeah.
- How'd you know?
- Lucky guess.
Stand against the tree.
So you like to
be tied up, huh?
Yeah, but don't tell
anyone, okay?
If the wrong person found out
I could lose an
election someday.
My lips are sealed.
Put your hands
behind the tree.
Aren't you going to
take my clothes off first?
No, it's much more
fun like this.
Oh.
Wow.
This is like something in one of
those dirty magazines, you know?
Bondage Camp.
Oh, wouldn't that be cool?
Reading about this?
I think it's much
more fun to live it.
Yeah.
I really appreciate this.
You know,
I don't want you to think
that I don't respect
you or anything
because I really do.
I think you're really
a neat person.
So...
When do we screw?
Hey, what are you doing?
Thank God there'll be
one less idiot in politics.
Hey: What are you doing?!
Don't!
Get back here!
Yes, sir.
Angels are pretty,
angels can fly,
and here is an angel
that can make you die.
You got no style, got no flair,
all you do is fight and swear,
so say your prayers
and make amends,
'cause your life story
is about to end.
What the fuck?
Hey!
Hey, what the fuck?
You fuckhead!
I'll get you!
OW! Ow!
Hey! Ow!
There's Maria.
Hello.
Hi.
What can we do for you?
Herman wants me
in this group.
I'm supposed to switch.
With Marsha.
- Oh, man.
- Oh my God.
I mean,
our group was so good!
Maybe if I talk with Herman
he'll let you stay.
But it's not my camp so we're
gonna have to do what he wants.
Besides, we're all getting
together tomorrow anyway.
I know, but it was tonight
that was so special.
With us?
Or with Tony?
Maria, look out!
God.
Are you alright?
- It hurts.
- What are we gonna do?
Got to cut it off.
- No!
- I'm just joking.
Come on, now lighten up.
Let's get you up.
Let's take it easy.
We're lucky we have this.
Our first aid kit is
pretty empty.
What a surprise.
Well, it doesn't look that bad.
But you're going to need to stay
off of it as much as possible.
Is it gonna make it feel better?
Yeah.
Thanks.
I mean it.
As soon as I get
this thing bandaged,
I'm gonna have to
go get Herman.
How well do you know him?
Not very well.
Good, because he's
a terrible counselor
- and so is Lilly.
- Oh, they're not that bad.
They eat steak
while we eat fish.
He fornicates with
the campers.
He does?
And she's so lazy,
she doesn't do anything
but sit around all day.
And how do you
know all this?
I have eyes.
Did Herman really tell you
to come switch with Marsha?
Or did you just
make all that up?
I made it up.
I want to be with you guys.
Sorry, Maria.
You got to
stick to the rules.
And you're going to have
to go back to Herman.
Oh, Barney,
she can come with us.
- Please?
- It's just for one more day.
Sorry.
We'll help you walk
back to the camp.
- Sorry.
- You do it.
Does Lilly really just
sit around all day?
Yeah. In fact,
she's out there right now.
- Go see for yourself.
- Really?
Can I, Barney?
Sure. Just don't
laugh in her face, okay?
I won't.
I'm warning you,
it's not a pretty sight.
- Alright, I'll be right back.
- Okay.
How's that feel?
Wait.
What's wrong?
Oh my God.
Oh, God.
Seems like every
time I go to camp,
somebody
loses their head.
What?
You remind me of
this girl I used to know.
Her name was Molly.
- What?
- She was really nice.
Marsha, get out of here!
Run to the highway!
No!
Sta
Marsha, get out of here!
Marsha, get out of here!
You look just like your son
when you get mad.
How many have you
killed this time?
I don't know.
Lots.
But I had no choice.
They deserved it.
You going to kill me, too?
Well, how are you
going to do it?
Knife?
Drill?
How about a chainsaw?
Fire?
Battery acid?
Or are you just going to
cut my head off
like you did my son's?
Come on, Angela.
What's it gonna be?
A gun.
Oh my God!
No!
Don't make me hurt you.
We're going to have so
much fun together, just great.
I think we should
go look for them.
Me too.
Barney told us to wait.
Maybe it's
some kind of test.
It was hours ago, man.
Hello.
Barney wants to see us
all at the main camp.
Marsha's there, too.
We're gonna play some kind
of a trust game or something.
Where've you guys been?
Oh, it's a long story.
Hey, how come you don't
have to be tied up?
Because Barney said so.
Hey, when's he getting here?
I told you, any time now.
- You know, this is bullshit.
- Don't swear.
- It'll be fun.
- Says your mama.
Okay.
All set.
Oh, there's Barney!
Where?
Oh, never mind.
I thought I saw him.
Is that him?
Nope.
Mind's playing tricks
on me, I guess.
Oh, there he is.
Barney.
Thanks for dropping in.
Okay, time to play.
Now, the object of the
game is to stay alive.
The rules are simple.
Marsha is in one of the
three cabins behind me.
Is she in cabin number one,
cabin number two,
or cabin number three?
You have exactly
two minutes to find out.
If you run away,
I'll kill you.
If you don't find her,
I'll kill you.
And if you hurt me in
any way, I will kill you.
Any questions?
Good.
On your marks,
get set, go!
Do you think I'm joking?
I'm dead serious.
And you just lost 15 seconds.
Look, she'll kill us.
Let's go!
Marsha!
Minute and a half to go.
Marsha!
- I can't take this anymore!
- No!
- Move along, move along!
- No!
Two down and one to go!
40 seconds left.
Marsha!
Congratulations!
You made it,
with 7 seconds left.
You guys are nice kids.
If you ask me these other
two were kind of boring.
Well, I've got to be going.
All the phone lines
have been cut,
but there's a pay phone about
three miles up the road,
at a little store.
I have to admit,
I kind of had a crush on you.
But you and Marsha
make a nice couple.
And as my aunt always says,
there's plenty of
fish in the sea.
Bye.
Marsha, stop it!
Stop it.
Stop it!
It's okay.
We're gonna call the police.
We've gotta call the police.
Come on.
You try to be nice
to somebody and...
Look what happens.
You okay?
You sure?
Yeah.
I love you so much, babe.
I think everything's
going to be okay.
I'll move to Ohio.
We can be
together forever.
- Get married...
- Tony.
What?
I kind of already
have a boyfriend.
You could come visit me.
Yeah, I could do that.
She's still alive.
She doesn't
deserve to live.
What do you mean?
Let's kill her.
Nobody'll know.
I don't know.
Come on!
She's a fucking maniac.
It wouldn't be hard to do.
It'll put an end it it
once and for all.
- Alright. Where are we?
- I'll check.
Jesus Christ!
God!
Hey!
What's going on back there?
Just taking care
of business.