1
I can't believe you're moving.
Where is Vancouver anyway?
Do you know what happens to girls who
start high school with no best friend,
no guy, and low social standing?
Nothing.
Nothing ever happens to them.
But look at it this way... you have
the whole summer to revise your image.
I never truly had an image, did I?
Start now.
Bye!
See you guys!
Julie, Hannah, hold on.
Take this. Here. There you go.
What's this? I thought we were
done with junior high.
It's the summer reading list.
You read all these books?
Yeah, many times.
Really, Mr. Corrado,
you need to get out more.
Okay, that's not funny!
You two, slow down!
Julie, party problem.
Great. Staci's gonna go
to Liz's sleepover.
Speak of the devils.
Hey, Yancy,
my father's a lawyer.
He could help you sue the diet pill
company for nonperformance.
Do you want to come
to my sleepover?
Me? Yeah, sure.
Absolutely.
- It's tonight. Seven-ish.
- Cool.
Last chance to see
a picture of me in a coma.
I've got tubes in nasty places.
You were barely in a coma.
Three hours.
Hey, hey, what's this?
Someone having a par-tay tonight?
Par-tay, Jules!
Keep it up, SpongeBob. You'll have
two pictures of yourself in a coma.
Jules, I can't make your overnighter.
I'm doing the dance.
The dance?
The high school dance?
Oh, right. Have fun.
"Have fun"!
How did Staci get so popular, anyways?
We used to be best friends.
That was elementary school.
True.
So, I think I have a solution.
I'll just move with you.
You have to stay put, kiddo,
hold up the tent.
The tent won't be
the same without you.
So this is our future?
Your future.
I still can't believe you're moving.
How am I supposed to
do high school without you?
There it is...
the high school lunch spot.
And there's
where I'll be sitting.
Cool...
uncool.
Staci and Liz...
me.
Life is so predictable it kills me.
Steve is so plush.
Isn't it great?
He can't see me, not at all.
I thought you'd never get home.
We have a million things to do
before the party, Julie,
so I stopped on my way home
and I bought all the stuff.
Stuff? What stuff?
Oh, Mom, not the Party Playhouse!
We are having a ladybug party.
We've got ladybug cups...
ladybug plates...
and a ladybug piata.
Mom, I'm 14, not 4.
I just thought your party should
have a theme, like they used to.
Aren't these antenna boppers
just a hoot, Hannah?
Look.
Someone stole my bike.
What happened to his car?
Repossessed.
We're all so proud.
Maybe I should stay home tonight.
No. Bad, Mom. You can't.
And why not?
Because we don't need
a babysitter.
Besides, Dad'll be here.
He's a great enforcer.
Slumber house rules.
Oh, for the love of carbs,
do we have to...
Slumber house rules.
"No leaving the house,
no boys,
no damaging important stuff."
If there's any structural damage
to this house...
So, is this the part
where you break into song?
Honey, you ignore the house rules,
you will stay home with your grandma
and help her sort wigs
while the rest of us go to Hawaii...
without you.
Are you serious?
You would take that
and leave me?
That, who is supposed to be at college
setting a good example
for his younger sister?
Yeah, well, college...
Everyone was so serious.
High school was great.
Stay as long as you can.
Please... please tell me
we have different fathers!
Julie, enough.
Go to your room.
Ren, go to your former room.
And you, outside.
My mom is so blindfolded.
Look at what she bought me.
Now, those are hot.
She seriously thinks
I'm, like, 10 or something.
Can I borrow five bucks?
- Can you knock?
- Actually, I need 20.
Can I borrow 50 bucks?
Get a job.
Or better, go back to school!
I am blooming!
I need a lock on my door!
Hey. What's going on?
Fried Twinkies.
I wish I'd invented these. Wow.
Honey, I feel so guilty leaving you
alone with the party tonight.
Are you sure this is okay?
Have fun, and while
you're gone, my love...
I'm installing
the Aquapure system.
Oh, honey, why don't you just
relax tonight? Our water's fine.
Fine? Fine?
Let's just take a look at our water.
Blue! Blue, okay?
Know what that means?
Our house is having a boy?
I'll tell you what,
I don't know what it means,
but I'm gonna find out,
and I know it's not good,
it's not good for any of us.
Okey-dokey. Well.
I'm going now.
Behave.
Right.
Go! Be merry!
Have fun, okay?
All right.
Now, have a good time.
And keep the music down, okay?
I'm finally back on speaking terms
with the Mulligans, okay?
Mom, go.
What do you think
they do for fun?
My mother doesn't do fun.
Butt crack alert.
Party!
You're wearing that to the dance?
We're skipping the dance.
Skipping the dance?
This is where we're going
instead of the dance?
I spent all month
getting ready for this dance.
That's pathetic.
Come here.
Stop it!
You're crushing my Lulu Guinness.
Maybe I should have
asked her out.
Come on.
You promised. You promised when
you graduated, we would hook up.
And you promised
to take me to the dance.
Get off me!
Out!
- What?
- Get out. We're over.
Really?
Yeah, really.
Have you forgotten who I am?
Let me think.
The second-string quarterback...
on the junior varsity.
You'll be so ruined in high school.
Liz? Change in plan.
I can't get you guys into the dance.
Calm yourself.
I have new funness in mind.
Start making a list.
Hi, two large pepperoni,
two with pineapple and barbecue,
and one with...
- Anchovies!
- That is so rank!
The dead little stinky fish.
Okay, thanks.
It better not be SpongeBob.
So... who's responsible
for all the sound?
You're not our usual Rent-a-Cop.
Chuck had a breakdown.
Chuck was weak.
This whole...
This whole ZIP code is now my domain,
and I am hip to you, little missy.
Got a call about excessive noise.
Keep it down.
Hello. May I?
It's a Coke.
It's a Coke.
But you can't be too sure, 'cause
you kids are very crafty these days.
Yeah, yuck. I'm gonna be
watching you, little yuck.
- What's with this guy?
- Let me get it this time.
What are you doing here?
Todd and I hooked up.
So we decided to skip the dance.
Okay, you guys
have done the makeovers,
the website vandalism,
and the frozen bra, right?
Um... yeah.
So, let's get this gala started.
Yeah. Send it.
Question. What's going on?
That was Liz.
She's having a party, too.
We heard.
So we decided to
put together a little hunt.
Who are you?
Yancy.
I'm Yancy. We had
P.E. Together all year.
You're orange.
Oh, my God, Yancy,
you are orange.
You used too much Presto Tan.
Steve Phillips? Dream on.
Turn on your web cam.
We just gave each other
thongs with our names on them.
Wicked. One for me?
But of course.
- Hey, Julie, did Mom leave?
- Get out!
- I only found Dad.
- Go!
My kingdom for a lock!
Did you get the hunt list?
Opening now.
Hunt? Hunting what?
Scavenger hunting.
Oh, see, we're not allowed
to leave the hou...
You have one of those
Polaroid sticker cameras, right?
But of course.
Use it to document the tasks.
Here's the list.
We start at 8:00, sharp as nails.
We sketched in something
extra special for Jules.
Special? What special?
"Dress a window mannequin
at Old Navy in your own clothes.
"Have a guy from datesafe. Com
buy you a drink at the Cosmo Club.
"Get a security decal
off a PatrolTec car,
and..."
"Borrow a pair
of Steve Phillips' boxer shorts"?
- No, no, no, no.
- What's in it for us?
Thongs.
- Pass.
- Double pass.
- Unless...
- Hannah.
...we make it interesting.
Speak it.
Lunch spot.
Winning group
eats at the fountain next year,
and losers eat at the Dumpsters.
No prob.
Hannah, can I
talk to you for a second?
I cannot do the things on that list.
I'll just eat Wonder Bread
by the Dumpsters
with the rest of the frumps.
Julie, focus.
What do you want
more than anything in this world?
Anything anything?
Ultimate anything.
- Steve.
- Exactly.
Do you think
he eats by the Dumpsters?
You could be sitting
right next to him at the fountain.
And plus, if you don't do this,
everyone's gonna hear about it.
We live in a suck universe
where wearing the wrong sneakers
can make us life outcasts.
I know, but...
You and I both know that we're
not just talking about a lunch spot.
We're talking about
who you're going to be in high school.
You have to do this.
I hate it when you sound right.
Only, we can't leave the house.
My mom will cancel Hawaii, and...
Follow.
What happened to your room?
Oh, is it different?
I hadn't noticed.
Mom redid it.
They weren't expecting him back so soon.
What's that?
Oh, that?
That is where my Miss Hawaiian Tropic
standee once stood.
Now... a yoga zone.
And have you seen
the new craft corner?
I had a dream about these.
They were trying to kill me.
My glory days have been erased.
My beer cap collection,
my cheerleader hate mail...
I think I have a fever.
Getting back to the real world...
...we have a proposition.
It involves money.
My money.
"Your money" is my favorite word.
I had to promise Ren fifty
of my Hot Dog on a Stick dollars
to cover for us.
She's getting us
a neato date for tonight.
"Neato"?
Pull yourself into the century.
Is this a good idea?
This site is totally safe.
Okay, what should our name be?
June.
Occupation?
Tree surgeon.
What?
Swimsuit model.
Okay, we're brunette, 5' 7".
- Hobbies?
- Dancing.
Sewing.
Eating cheese.
Kidding.
Sitting...
on the beach.
"I'm looking for someone
way gorgeous
to buy me a drink tonight
at the Cosmo Club."
Wait. We have to get
into the Cosmo Club?
And I'll be wearing
a paisley scarf.
How exactly are you going to be
a tall, brunette swimsuit model?
I'm not. You are.
Me?
Yes, you.
- Me?
- Is she broken?
She's fine.
The net rocks.
We have a winner.
Already?
"Dave. Handsome. Ooh.
Hobbies: Reading,
hiking, sunsets, and cliff diving."
He's perfect.
Perfect? How is he perfect?
He'll be wearing a brown jacket
with a red tie.
What does the blue ribbon mean?
It means he's been
verified by the site.
He's okay.
And plus we'll all be
sticking together, right?
Of course.
Done.
Honk-honk, outside.
Got the Beemer.
Let's get outta here.
Coming.
See ya.
Wait, where are you going?
You didn't for serious think I was
going to be on your team, did you?
First team to complete all the tasks
and show up
at the high school parking lot
wins the spot.
But... we don't have a car.
Then you lose.
We'll get a car,
and we'll get the fountain spot.
Pleathers.
Posers.
Hey, how come Liz can drive?
She already has her learner's permit.
She was held back a year.
She is so lucky.
I blame you.
That was excruciating.
Let's dominate.
I look like my mother.
Hold on.
Now... you look like
your mother 20 years ago,
with fashion sense.
I think I can get us a car.
Speak.
Papa Bear is still under the sink.
Repeat, Papa Bear
is still under the sink.
Over.
Ren, we are still inside the house.
Do not call unless it's an emergency.
10-4. Over and out.
Do you guys think
we should be doing this?
Let's go.
I'm pretty stuck.
Pull.
Look at my dad.
He is so oblivious.
Help.
- Great rescue, guys.
- Sorry.
Come on.
Destination Hottie House in sight.
I'm okay.
Officially, the smallest car
I've ever seen.
It looks like a clown car.
It's an electric car.
It's made out of this really hard
recycled stuff.
My dad taught me how to drive it
in the mall parking lot,
said I could use it for an emergency,
which it kinda seems like this is.
That's my hand!
No, sadly, that's my hand.
Fake food's come a long way
in the last ten years.
Wrong room.
All I can find are these scrunchies.
Yeah, and socks.
Cha-ching! I found bras!
Yeah!
Dude, clue. Don't you think
there's something missing?
What?
The girls!
Right, right.
Where are the babes?
Gone.
Gone?
This diary raid skeaves!
Girls! Everything all right up there?
If you tell anyone about this...
I will so injure you.
Looks like we're going
on a scavenger hunt, men.
That guy just waved at me.
I am so smushed, I can't even
return a wave at a cute guy.
Cute guys never wave at me.
Oh, what am I saying?
No guys ever wave at me.
I'm fat.
You are not fat. Who told you
that you were fat?
Uh... Staci and Liz.
I heard they have scales
in their gym lockers.
They do. They made me
stand on it in front of everyone.
It was the worst moment of my life.
That's hideous.
Yancy, would you rather eat
celery or a brownie?
What is that, a trick question?
Exactly.
So you'll just date guys
who like brownies.
Okay. First on the list,
mannequins.
They look so cute in your clothes.
Smile!
Good luck.
Keep it.
Attention, shoppers, Old Navy
will be closing in five minutes.
They locked it.
Of course they did.
There's another
display window over there.
Let's go.
They're guys.
I don't think they're gonna fit
into our miniskirts.
We have to try.
Let's go.
Freeze!
Who would design this guy?
He's got thunder thighs.
Okay, we got it. Ready?
Smile!
Hey!
I see you!
And I got ya!
Okay, come back in here!
Open up this door!
Bye!
Oh, that is so not cool!
All right, I'm coming.
Okay, here you go.
Thanks, man.
You girls better eat
all this pizza.
I'll deliver those pies to 'em.
You're gonna take the pizzas
up to your sister?
Dad, you have
Aquapure momentum.
Don't stop now.
I do. Yeah. All right.
As a matter of fact, you're gonna be
the first one to taste the new water.
Let's go. Come on.
- Oh, my gosh.
- What?
The pizzas!
So you're done?
One more adjustment and I will be.
All right.
Yeah?
Did the pizzas come?
My sources say yes.
You have to make them
all disappear.
What's the offer?
- Laundry.
- Keep talking.
Your laundry.
I will do your laundry for a month.
Done.
Business deal?
Exactly.
Good for you.
All right, this is gonna change
the way you look at water.
You first.
I gotta just check the line.
Good thought.
There's no place to park.
Check it...
he's letting in the pleathers.
You guys, we're never
gonna beat them.
Okay, try parking around the corner.
We'll be quick.
We're throwing 'em out.
We're not gonna eat all these...
till we're sick...
writhing on the floor in pain.
Go.
This is so good.
I'm gonna kill you.
We're with them,
the girls you just let in.
Yeah, the other girls.
What are you doing here?
Scavenger hunting.
Okay, no.
All right, get gone, all of you.
- Hey.
- This is so not fair.
I don't have to be fair.
I have the pretty rope.
Now scram!
I'll bet your date's inside right now
buying Staci a drink.
Date? You have a date?
Oh, this rocks!
Look!
They're about to get their picture!
We have to find Dave.
Hey, is that...
Mr. Corrado?!
Now there are no surprises
left in this world.
Corrado goes clubbing?
Okay, focus on finding Dave.
Now, what exactly is he
supposed to be wearing?
A brown jacket
with a red tie.
Oh, my gosh!
You're wrong. There is
one surprise left in this world.
- Mr. Corrado's my date!
- What?!
He'll report us for sure.
Let's go.
Excuse us, excuse us!
June! June!
- He's seen me!
- Your scarf... get rid of it!
You dropped this.
No, I didn't.
- Yes.
- No.
- Keep it.
- No!
Uh... June.
No, sorry.
Well, you're the only one here
with a paisley scarf, so...
No, I'm sorry.
That's not me.
Okay, I know I might be
a disappointment physically,
but I have great wit.
Hi.
Would you like a drink?
Sure.
What would you like?
A Chunky Monkey.
Isn't that a milkshake?
Oh, um...
What?! Are you crazy?
Excuse me?
A sex on the beach. My fave.
Oh. Two.
So, what's it like
being a swimsuit model?
Um... cold.
Well, yeah.
Have we met before?
Your laugh is so familiar.
My laugh?
Actually, it's not my laugh.
You see, I'm trying out different laughs
until I find the right one.
What do you think of this one?
Here's your drinks.
Can I see some I.D.?
My I.D.?
Oh, um, I left it in my limo.
Sorry.
Julie.
Hi, Mr. Corrado.
A swimsuit model?
This is so typical. I either
get stood up or worse... and this is worse!
How did you ever get in here?
It's a long story,
but the cheat-sheet version is,
I'm on a scavenger hunt
for a lunch spot.
The fountain.
How do you know about the fountain?
I'm not that old.
I went to Abbott High School, too.
Never did get to
sit at the fountain, though.
Okay, get going.
Actually, could you buy me a drink?
A soda would fulfill the hunt list.
But I have to get a picture of it.
I should have known that
you would be nearby.
Two ginger ales for these two.
With olives.
It's very cosmopolitan.
Hey, sweet thing.
Wanna dance?
When hell freezes over... twice.
She likes me.
Hey... do you want to sneak in?
No, thanks.
I'm waiting for someone.
Your boyfriend.
My boyfriend?
No, I don't have a boyfriend.
Playing hard to get?
I'm just sitting here.
I'm not playing anything.
Well, I gotta go to another gig.
Their speaker blew.
That's what I do during the summer,
I move speakers.
It's not, like, my life goal or anything,
but, you know, it's money.
That's nice.
Why are you talking to me?
What do you mean?
Well, guys never talk to me.
I mean, sometimes they ask me to hold
the door for them, but that's about it.
What's your name?
- Yancy.
- Peter.
And I would never ask you
to hold a door.
What's with you?
Your face is all glad-looking.
A guy...
a really cute guy...
and he talked to me like a guy
talks to a girl that he maybe might like.
Where'd he go?
He left.
And I'll probably never,
ever see him again.
This is the worst night of my life.
Your girls are drinking
with Mr. Corrado.
- Total grade.
- Pathetic.
Okay.
You have to leave.
You girls shouldn't be here.
Mr. Corrado, some female-type advice...
Should I be afraid?
Loosen your tie.
Come here.
Looks good.
Who would have guessed?
Hi.
Do you want to dance?
Yeah. Sure.
We still have a chance
at winning. Let's go.
I think I just had a stroke.
- What?
- Up there on that platform.
- Is that...?
- My mother!
What is she doing?
This is like Moms Gore Wild.
She can't... wiggle... like that.
She's a mother.
She uses Saran Wrap.
She makes mac and cheese.
She drives a Volvo.
Yeah, older babeage,
shaking her boo-tay.
Do you think my dad
knows about this?
Oh, this is horrible!
I mean, my mom's a...
Who is she?
Whoever she is,
she's headed this way. Let's go.
Come on.
Was I?
Yeah, you were just shaking!
Yes.
What is that?
I think it's my scarf.
Yeah, but you weren't wearing a scarf.
I know.
Gabby!
Gabby, who did you see?
I'm not sure.
Oh, shoot. No reception.
I have to make a call.
I'm beyond dead.
She's calling Dad.
Ren will cover.
She's gonna want to
talk to me.
Hello! Is anyone else concerned
that we're sitting in trash?
Yeah, so, anyway...
oh, my God, did I tell you?
I have to get home before...
This cannot happen.
Really okay.
Where to next?
All right, so I'll see you later,
hopefully. All right. Bye.
Okay, so I'll see you
in a few minutes?
All right. Okay, bye-bye.
Oh, wait. No way. Really?
Who was that?
Oh, come on.
Come on, come on.
Twinkie, yeah.
Hello?
Hi, sweetheart.
Are the girls there?
They're here, of course!
Have you seen them?
Yeah.
SpongeBob.
Where else would they be?
Yeah.
Oh, it's all coming together.
Where would they be?
They're great.
Hey, hey, hey! Turn it off!
Look, I...
No, no, no! Turn it off!
No, turn it off!
I didn't do it!
Off!
Thank you!
Honey, it sounds like
we're being attacked.
What? Attacked? Oh, no.
No! The next-door neighbor, the hose
was going all over into our yard.
Just bring the phone
up to Julie's room.
Julie...
your mom's on the phone.
Jules?
Yeah, Dad?
Your mom's on the phone.
Hello?
Hi. Is everything okay?
Yeah, Mom, everything's fine.
So what are you girls up to?
Stuff.
What stuff?
Just stuff, okay?
Julie, need I remind you...?
Mom, I know all your rules--
no moving, no smiling,
no breathing.
Honey, those rules
are for your own good.
You girls should be getting
to bed now, anyway.
Bed? It's barely 9:30.
How old do you think we are?
Honey, why is it...?
Why don't you just freeze me
in a time capsule?
That way I stay little forever.
Okay, I'm going now.
Behave. Goodbye.
That was way too close.
I'm freaking exhausted.
I need to go back to college
and get some rest.
I don't know how to say this,
but thanks.
And can you cover for us
for just a little longer?
Go be a teenager.
It ends too soon.
And it gets replaced
by ribbons and lampshades.
Steve's house.
Uh-oh.
Define "uh-oh."
I think the car needs charging.
What? We ran out of juice
in front of Steve's house?
It has a quick charge function.
I just need a plug.
A plug?
Calm yourself.
We'll take care of the car,
you just go get his boxers.
Wait... why do I have to
boost his boxers?
Are you kidding? The only reason this
is even on the list is because of you.
She's right.
This one's all you.
Do you think he's in there?
It's almost ten.
He might be at the dance by now.
Or he might be inside getting ready.
I mean, no one great
shows up before ten.
Thanks for that.
I can't do this.
Let's go home. We lose.
You are Julie...
great knees, powerful brain.
You can do this.
"Great knees"?
"Powerful brain"?
Is that supposed to
make me feel better?
What do you care anyway?
You're moving.
That's why I care.
Julie, I know you can do this.
Ugh! Serious ugh!
Got 'em!
Here she comes!
She did it.
She actually went inside.
This is gonna be
worth the price of admission.
PatrolTec Security, please.
Hello, I'd like to report
a suspicious person at 947 Oak Lane.
Thank you.
Done.
You think that's the girl?
Hard to tell. It was dark.
A plug! I found a plug!
Of course.
You know, I think this is the girl,
and I recognize her from somewhere.
I think I knew her
in my grade school or something.
So?
She grew up nice.
Drama club, basketball,
debate team.
Hobbies... hot dogs,
skateboarding, and napping.
Steve, what are you doing?
There's, like, a gym full of girls
waiting for you.
Basketball, boarding, and dogs.
Hey, hurry up!
Dance ends at midnight!
Okay, we can almost reach.
Come on.
Okay, stop!
Stop pushing!
We're not pushing anymore!
Oh, no!
What the heck was that?
Okay, here we go.
Oh, flashlight!
Gonna leave a mark.
There we go.
Look, someone smacked
into the PatrolTec guy!
- Sweet!
- I know.
Securing the perimeter.
There's the suspect.
Hey, you!
PatrolTec Security!
All right, I've spotted you!
Security officer on the premises!
Right here!
And we win.
We always win.
Is there no one to challenge us?
Let's scoot over to the dance.
What's the point?
It's obvious they're not even
going to finish.
Let's just go get juicers.
Is there a reason you don't want to
go to the dance... like a Todd reason?
No. There's no Todd reason.
Then what's your affliction?
I'm sure one of my sister's friends
can get us in.
Let's just go.
I got a suspicious person call
at this address,
and you look suspicious to me.
Hey... haven't I seen you before?
I don't think so.
What's your name?
Julie.
And why are you damp, Julie?
I was surprised by some sprinklers.
- What have we here?
- I can explain.
I doubt it. Follow me.
Hey, where's the tiny green car?
What?
The tiny car that hit me?
Not even a dent.
Told you this thing was tough.
Hello! How are we
gonna salvage Julie?
Did you guys already panty-raid
skater-boy Steve?
Yeah, but Julie got nabbed
by Joe PatrolTec.
She needs a hero.
Your telephone number, please.
Hey!
No heels on the hardwood floor, okay?
I don't know what girls
are always whining about.
Heels aren't so bad.
I'll get it!
Yes, good evening.
This is Officer Shiner
from PatrolTec Security.
Is this Mr. Corky?
Uh-huh. Well, I'm standing here
with your daughter Julie.
That's right.
All right.
Your father
wants to talk to you.
Dad?
Fifty monthly for six months.
Um, what was that, Dad?
You have no idea how close Dad
just came to answering this phone.
I had to hurt myself,
and I'm wearing red pumps.
Fifty monthly for six months.
No.
No?
No. Three.
You're negotiating row?
That's right. I'll be home soon.
That is...
She renegotiated and hung up.
She's way more impressive
than I thought.
Don't move.
I know I've got a field
interrogation card in here somewhere.
Julie, get in!
Hey! Tiny green car!
- What are you doing?
- Winning!
That's my official decal!
We've got everything!
Let's get to the high school!
That is it. Come on.
What is the problem? Come on.
Why do people
even have children? Why?
Whoa! You are my hero!
I'll write songs about you.
Look!
They stopped for juicers?
- They're still in the game?
- Let's go!
Come on! Go faster!
Tie!
Calm your jets.
Let's compare goods first.
So, all things being equal,
tiebreaker.
What? No, we share the spot.
Share? With you?
Don't think so.
Tiebreaker, winner take all.
You're on.
First one to get the king
or queen's crown at the dance, wins.
What?
Staci, isn't that Todd's car?
That is his car.
I thought you guys decided
you were skipping the dance, Staci.
Are we really going into the dance?
You bet we are. Follow.
Tickets, please.
Hold on. Where's your ticket?
Oh, I...
...don't have one.
Sorry. No ticket, no dance.
I know who you are.
You do?
You're out here collecting tickets
instead of being inside at the dance.
You spend your weekends
doing extra-credit algebra,
you play way too much
Monopoly with your parents,
and you've never eaten
anywhere near the fountain.
And in four years, I will be you
unless I get into that dance.
You go.
Get in there.
Do it for all those who never could.
- Did we win?
- Almost. We still have to get the crown.
Get... crown.
What crown?
So this is it...
a high school dance.
They don't even let us
wear shoes at our dances.
And they serve warm Kool-Aid.
I wonder if Steve's here.
Hey, spazmonkey, stand still.
Let's scope.
Where is Todd?
Do you see him?
Not yet. Remain calm
until the evidence is in.
Are you gonna ask someone to dance?
Come on, ask someone to dance.
No, man, just leave me alone.
Dude.
You guys remember a girl
named Julie Corky?
Wasn't she on our grade school bus?
Yes. I knew that was her.
Gregg and I saw her
boarding tonight in a red dress.
She looked sweet.
Nice one.
Hi. Hey.
Hi. Do you...
...know if your friend wants to dance?
I don't know. Ask him.
Could you ask him for me?
Dude, that girl,
my dream girl, dance with her.
Sure.
Maybe they just met.
Yeah. Maybe.
Almost time for
the big dance contest,
and remember, anything goes,
so just pretend
that Mrs. Withers and I aren't here.
Badness. Look over there!
Come on!
Guess you changed your mind
about the dance.
Staci.
Who the hell are you?
- I'm his girlfriend.
- Oh, really?
Because I'm his girlfriend.
Have been for six months.
Catfight! Meow!
Stay away from my footballer.
You can have him!
Hey, where you going?
Get real. She's not worth it.
Are you kidding?
Staci? Staci's a prime goddess.
If I had a girl like Staci,
I would worship her.
She hooked up with you,
and now you dump her?
What a typical quarterback move.
Princess doesn't hook up.
Never has, never will.
I...
Looks like someone
isn't so different from us after all.
All right, everybody grab a partner.
The mojo dance contest
is about to begin.
Come on, Todd. Let's go
command the dance contest.
Too bad. So sad.
Guess you don't have
anyone to enter with.
Yes I do.
You've got to be kidding.
Staci, did the fall
give you brain damage?
Bite me! I can dance!
What do you say, girlfriends?
But we don't have
anyone to dance with.
Who else do we need?
Let's go!
Freshman year, we have arrived!
What is it?
Some sort of list.
"PatrolTec decal.
"This one's for Julie...
Get Steve Phillips' boxer shorts."
That's where my boxers went!
"Get crown."
Dude, look,
it's the girl in the red dress!
There's clearly
one shining couple here tonight,
and here they are, the winners
of the mojo dance contest!
Whatever.
Well, you aren't a very good dancer.
What?
Thanks.
Hey, you want to see
a picture of me in a coma?
Okay.
Really?
Sweet.
You know, this doesn't mean that we're,
like, boyfriend and girlfriend or anything.
Oh, I know,
but now I've got this picture,
and this picture is way better
than my coma picture.
Dude, you are an insta-legend.
Could we have our picture
taken with you?
Be cool, guys.
This is the sweetest slumber party ever.
Yeah. Aren't you glad
Staci couldn't come?
What? Why?
Because Julie's mom only let her
invite three girls.
I...
was the replacement?
I mean... no.
I was the replacement.
What did you say to her?
- I didn't mean to. It just...
- What?
I told her that she
replaced Staci at the party.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
Let's go find her. Come on.
Before Mr. Chilton announces
the king and queen,
we have a special dedication,
to Yancy
from the speaker-moving guy.
What are you doing here?
I told you I had another gig.
I saw you dancing out there.
I thought you might want to
try with a partner.
Yes.
Someone for everyone...
except me.
On the bright yet dim side,
we could still win the scavenger hunt.
True.
Where do you think
they keep those crowns?
Come on.
- Do you like brownies?
- Are you kidding?
Brownies are
a very important food group.
The crowns aren't here.
So you haven't won.
Yet.
We're not giving the fountain spot
to you Dumpster frumpsters.
Talk, talk, talk, and no action.
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
You've been voting all week
for king and queen.
Jennifer Allen and Steve Phillips.
He won?
Steve won!
Jennifer's a bud of mine,
a former cheer squad leader.
She'll give me the crown for sure.
Choose your partners, guys.
This song's reserved for you.
Julie? Julie Corky?
He just said your name!
That was real?
Yes!
Wanna dance?
I didn't even know you knew who I was.
You win.
- Julie got the crown!
- We win!
We win the scavenger hunt!
I knew it! I knew it!
I knew it!
- This is all your fault.
- My fault?
You were so sure we'd win,
you gave away our spot.
Let us know
how the Dumpster tables are.
- I hear they have gum on them.
- And other unmentionables.
Unmentionables?
I cannot eat on unmentionables.
How did you know?
Know?
About me and you...
and the crown?
I saw you boarding earlier tonight.
And then I saw you out there dancing.
It all fit.
And the crown...
By the way,
can I have my boxers back?
I like your laugh.
- I'm sorry. It might be...
- Go ahead.
- Hello?
- Where are you guys?
- Is Mom home?
- Well, no, but she...
If Dad only knew where Mom
really was tonight...
Julie, she just called.
She's or her way. So get home. Now.
Who was it? Was it your mom?
My mom doesn't know we left the house,
and she's on her way home right now.
What? She's on her way home?
Let's go!
Unbelievable as it is, I have to go.
I'm sorry.
All right.
Good time.
I didn't get the kiss.
What?
He's gonna wake up tomorrow
and realize that I'm just
some average little freshman.
I had my chance, and I missed it.
Whoo! Crank it!
Whoo!
Yeah!
We should do this once a week.
My crown!
Hey, tiny green car!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
I am commandeering this car
in the name of PatrolTec Security.
Please evacuate... Hey! Hey!
I am a security officer!
I took a two-week course!
Hi, Mom, could you pick me up?
I'm on the corner of Union and Grant.
I-I really don't want to talk about it.
What are we gonna do?
Come on!
The fort!
- What?
- Trust me.
Come on! Come on!
Get up.
Catch it!
Julie, what are you doing?
- Julie, no.
- You're gonna fall!
- Julie!
- She's gonna fall!
Oh, my God!
You guys, help!
Julie, are you okay?
What about you?
Just go.
Hey, come on, let's go.
Take care. Thanks for driving.
- I'll see you later.
- Bye, girls.
- You forgot your scarf.
- Thank you.
Hi.
Hi.
So, how was the party?
Quiet.
Quiet?
Wait. I want to
show you something. Come here.
This is our old water. Have a taste.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Now try our brand-new water.
Honey...
this definitely tastes better.
- Oh, gosh.
- Thank you.
- Did you have fun at the club?
- I did, but I missed you.
Everybody needs
a night out now and then.
You know what? They do.
Let's go check on the girls.
Okay.
Assume sleep positions!
Told ya. No problem.
- What's with him?
- I don't know.
We really did it.
My Cinderella night,
and I'm still the ugly stepsister.
Ladies, time to get up.
There's gonna be pancakes!
How long were we asleep?
Ten minutes.
Funny. Feels like five.
You know, I always knew
that old fort would come down one day.
I just didn't think it would
take the arbor down with it.
Hey, this water's not so bad, Dad.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Well, thank you.
What are we gonna do
about the backyard?
You might be on your own there, Dad.
I've decided to go back to college.
That's great.
Yeah, I mean, last night
kinda got me to thinking,
you know, high school rocked,
but it's time to leave it to sis.
I think I may have
a career ahead in surveillance.
I hear PatrolTec has an opening.
So...
exactly what
did you girls do last night?
Exactly?
Exactly.
Here's the thing, Mom.
The thing is...
We left the house,
but I assure you, it was for
a very important adolescent cause.
Adolescent?
As in "growing up"?
Is that so hard to believe?
Yes, it is,
because not too long ago
I had a little girl who took ballet.
She did magic tricks.
We used to bake together
in her Easy-Bake oven,
and she loved ponies and ladybugs.
I remember her.
I guess I missed the bridge
between ladybugs and boys.
I think I'm still standing on that bridge.
You take your time crossing it.
Got you something.
A doorknob?
With a lock.
To the unstoppable freshmen.
Unstoppable!
- That's my mom.
- She's giving me a ride.
I have to get home
and finish packing.
- Bye!
- Bye!
Bye!
- I had a fun time!
- Thank you!
So... this is it.
You're really moving.
Everything changes now.
Everything would have changed anyway.
Last night did that.
Tell me how the view is
from the lunch spot.
If we sit there.
What do you mean?
Wherever we sit,
that'll be the lunch spot.
You're ready for high school.
I blame you.
Take care of the girls.
Don't forget.
Never.
I think this is yours.
And so it happened...
the girl in the lopsided crown
got her kiss.
Naturally, I told Hannah all about it.
I try to keep her up-to-date
with high school,
which is going surprisingly well...
for us.
As for Staci an Liz...
Well, a deal's a deal