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Smartass (2017)
2
Let me get two bindles. And don't fuck with me, I want the homie price. You hear me? I hear you on the homie price, but you ain't no homie, nigger. Ah, I see. Look what you just did. Say nigger now. Awe, look. You got something on your shoe, homie. Bitch. You good, baby? Hugo. Hey, buddy. How's the trap shot business? These guys are total suckers. Ya know, I'm still waiting on my cut from that custom van work I did. It's rough out here, I got overhead. You're such a shyster. Hey... You cool? Yeah, you? Yeah. Hugo, come on, man. You think you'll get to ride in a lowrider? Maybe. That'd be cool. Yeah. Hey, get off my property! Ninja skills, try me, bitch. Give that back. Nope, it's mine now. What are you gonna do with that? Keep it like a prize. Otto, can you help me? I almost got this, man. Is that a condom machine? That's disgusting. Seriously, dude, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'm gonna rip your fuckin' throat out. Hey, thought smack was supposed to make you like, sleepy and nice, not a douchetard. You have room to talk. You're like the biggest asshole alive. Me? Yes, you! Fuck yes. Motivational speaker. I might kill you. Awe, then you'd be so lonely. No, I wouldn't. What the fuck you lookin' at, motherfucker? You want some of me, bitch? Alright, motherfucker. I should be a gang. Just you, huh? Mm-hmm. One person can't be a gang. Hey, no crushing my dreams, okay? Okay, Fred, you're a gang. What would your name be? That's a good question. I don't know yet. Lobo. Look, Efe, I can explain. All you can do now is listen. We have no place for you here, ese. Your coming here disrupts my peace and I, Lobo, I'm a peaceful man. Wait, wait, Poco Efe, please, just wait. Begging ain't gonna do you no good, homie. $50,000, just $50,000 by tomorrow. Come on, Efe, a little disruption and my protection is worth at least $50,000. Trust me, I'm good for it, Efe. Shit'll be picked up at my brother's place in Morieto tonight. Just needs to be trailed. I'll give you 24 hours for your 50,000. And I'll take one of those. Come on, Efe. Do me a favor. You want a favor? You got 24 hours, ese. Thanks. My money, man, don't be trippin', homie! Back the fuck up. What's going on, Z? Uh, there's like a disagreement and a lot of racial slurs. The fuck is this? Nothing, gosh. So we should probably, ya know, get outta here - 'cause this... - Yo, you trippin', homie! Yo, you need to back up off me. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Freddie, Freddie. Say somethin'! I'm so over this shit. Going back to Vermont. Say somethin', homie! - Say somethin'! - What? Chuchu, please they're gonna kill me and I need your help, baby. Babe! I'm here. Lobo, I miss you. Well, you're never gonna fuckin' see me again if you don't fuckin' help me! Why are you yelling? 'Cause he bit my fuckin' finger off and he's gonna let these niggas kill me if I don't get him this money. Lobo. Fuck, baby, what? Nobody's gonna kill you. Nobody's gonna kill you. Just fuckin' help me. Jose should already be there, just make sure they stay with the fuckin' problem. Okay. Fucking fine, fuck. I've only got 24 hours. - Chuchu! - Come on, kill me, puta! Kill me, kill me, come on, hey! Puto! Oh, almost! I'll shine your shit right up your ass! Give it to me. Oh, you bitch! Puto, fuck you! Fuck, shit. Anybody got better shit than Paolo, huh? Now that is what you call a loaded question 'cause I, you wanna hear no, but then that's a suspect answer because I know that you wanna hear it. Sit down. What are you doing? Alright, now can I get the stuff? Yes. Yes, you can. Alright, I'll wait for you here. - You're fucked up. - You're fucked up. I like him. Okay, man, I'm done. I'm done with you fuckin' bitches. You say that you like my friend, Donny, well, it's your lucky day. Stand up, you fucking cunt. Hey, Donny, take her, she's yours. Fuckin' shit. What the fuck are you doin' to me here? Fuck. Here ya go, I'll have the rest for you tomorrow, alright? You're a good boy, Donny. Thanks. I hope nothing bad happens to you between these times. You see, why you gotta say it like that 'cause now I think you want something bad to happen to me. No, I don't. Yes, you do. No. No, I don't. Yes, you do, man. Way to fuckin' creep me out, alright? I'm leavin'. Hey, hey, hey, take Chuchu with you. It's my gift. No, no, no, no, she's like fuckin' half dead. I don't want her, alright, you keep her, please. Paolo does not take no for an answer and, um, I don't want her anymore. So, no Chuchu, no loan. Ah, fuck. Alright, fuck, fine, I'll take her. Come on. Hey, Donny! Yeah? - I like you. - What the fuck does that mean? You like Venice too, look how she fuckin' ended up. Correction, my friend. I love Venice. I only like you. Right, yeah, of course. Alright, come on, let's go. Let's go. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Hey. Taking his bag, alright? It's got the papers in it. Hey, I'll go with. Z, tell Otto I got kidnapped by aliens. Okay. Hey. What? What were you gonna say? Uh, just that, I'm glad that you're traveling with. Well, it was either you or Air Force One, so. Hey. What's up? Come here for a minute. Ooh, you're like a fuckin' terrorist. You're comin' with me. That's exactly what a terrorist would say. We're going to Burger Bomb. Oh, why didn't you just say that in the first place? Bye, Nick. You have work to do. Hey, Donny. Hey, Otto. She dead? - Her, no. - She looks dead, dude. You can't say that 'cause she's not dead. - Oh, she's not dead? - No. - Where'd you get her? - She was a gift. - Oh, she was a gift, huh? - Yeah. Think when she dies, they're gonna, I don't know, give you a new one? Yeah, see, I don't know why she said that 'cause she's not gonna die. They got shit goin' on by the stairs. Yeah? Otto, what's going on back there? Yeah, Donny, she's like grabbing onto her fuckin' head, dude. Let her go. Let her go. Walk, dude. Let her go. Take her up, man, get her inside. What the fuck? Sorry. It's cool, brother. See you around. Let's go. Yeah. Still think she's gonna die. She probably will. Hey. Yo. Nick, meet Chuchu. Chuchu, you say hello to Nick. Nice, real sweetheart. Now, Nick, you gotta promise me. You gotta be careful with this stuff because it's gonna make your face drip off in like five minutes. Not that that's a bad thing, by the way. That clean, huh? Yeah, the guy's a fuckin' psycho, dude. You know? You know, he made me take her if I wanted to buy his shit. Nick, the dude fuckin' gave me a human being. Obviously I did because the dude's fuckin' scary, ya know? So, Donny, I have a favor. I didn't come up with all the money. Uh, shit. That kinda makes me a little nervous because the dude was sketchin' out about nothing bad happening, now you're telling me you only got half his money, Nick. Say yes, Donny. You know I'm good for it. If you're not cut out for this shit, go get a job at a carwash. Will you just take a minute and just listen to the words that are comin' outta your mouth, please? Look, my guy is a trust fund surfer. It'll be fine, just meet me at the beach around 10 and I'll have the rest of it. Yeah, right, meet at the beach at 10 because nothing bad ever happens at the beach, right? Donny! You know, we're up. I'm fine, right? I'm fine, fuck, I'll do it, but only fuckin' because it's you. Come on, buddy, you gotta eat something. Can't just survive off of donuts and drugs. I drink. Z, Yoohoo is barely considered a drink. You're crazy. Yoohoo is wizard milk. It's wizard milk. I'm getting you a burger and you're gonna eat it, okay? Hey! You're gonna eat it 'cause I love you. I don't want you to hook up with Nick. Ugh, what do you care? It's just a bad idea. I care. I mean, he's cute and I'm pretty sure he likes me. Guys like him never like me. They always like the douchey California counter girls of the world. Not true. Nope, it's definitely true. What the fuck, Z? Excuse me, do you have a warrant? Zandar Phillips gave us permission to search the vehicle, miss. Zandar, where the hell are you from? - He's from Connecticut. - I know. Mommy and Daddy Phillips are gonna be pissed. Whose is this? It's mine, actually. And why do you have it? It was a prize. - Prize? - Mm-hmm. How old are you? - No, you're not. - Yeah, I am. - No, you're not. - Yes, I am. I'm arresting you. Oh, couldn't resist, could ya? Freddie. I'll meet you at the beach tomorrow, Otto. And Zandar of Connecticut, when I get back, ice cream sundaes for days. Otto, what are we gonna do? Don't worry, we're gonna be best friends in like two minutes. Shut up and get in. See? He likes me already. What are we gonna tell Nick? You don't tell him anything. I'll figure out what to say. Wait a minute, really? Really? Bitch just pops a bunch of fuckin' pills. I gotta deal with the bullshit. - Where the fuck do you live? - Where the fuck do you live? Where the fuck do I live? Yes, really. Well, you know what? Fuck this. If I can't be asking fuckin' questions, I see what's going on here. This is a collect call from... Freddie. I accept. Freddie? Hey, Mom. You're three days late. Sorry, I thought weekly was more of a range. Where are you? California. Where exactly? Um... I don't know. How's Hugo? Sleeping. It's late. Shit, I'm sorry. I forgot the time difference. You know, Courtney had her sweet 16 last weekend. Her mother called to see if you wanted to come. I told her you were with your father. Come on, you're lying. Courtney's mom would never call. She hates me. What the fuck is a sweet 16? Is that like a fancy name for a birthday party? It's an important milestone. Why? Is 15 like a year we celebrate the surviving of? - Freddie. - Mother. Could you just please wake up Hugo, please? No. You want your family, you come home. Gosh, for the millionth time, I told you, I'm not coming home. Why are you doing this to me? Jesus Christ, Freddie, I'm really worried about you. I miss you. Stop worrying, okay? I'm fine. Will you just tell Hugo that I miss him? I gotta go. Bye. Freddie. Freddie? Stop. Okay, stop. Crying, okay. Ooh. Okay. Okay. Okay. You're lying. There's no way that she's with Dave. That guy is a total scumbag. She didn't go because of him, man. Dave's ridin' with Dready Jeff. You know what kinda player that cat is. I still think you're full of shit. She said she'd meet us at the beach tomorrow, relax. What'd he do? He, um... Sorry, man. Whatever. Get Freddie's bag. Let's go, debutante. Ooh, where we going, a ball? I got your ball. This amuses you? No, but if you're gonna make the effort. This is a mugshot. I know. But my mom always says- Nobody in here gives a damn what your white ass mama says. Lost your doggone mind. Turn. Oh, yeah, who let the wetbacks out? Hey! Step it back, would you? Oh, come on. Why am I alone? 'Cause I know it will annoy you more. Come on. What if you forget to feed me? It happens at the zoo all the time. Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. Besides, you could afford to lose a few pounds. Damn. Hey, listen, I just, I was wondering, are you guys taking bets on who's gonna win over there? Because I want in. My money's on the chicas. Why is that, cracker baby? I don't know, they work harder, not always late. You know what happens if I put you in that cell? Hmm, we toast marshmallows and sing a multiracial version of Kumbaya? Child, you got your little privileged ass arrested in the wrong county at the wrong time. Right, there is a good place to get arrested. I forgot. You don't even know, do you? Why don't you tell me? Ooh, it'll be like story time. Hmm, I'm gonna do better than tell you. Oh, come on, don't leave now. Keep playin'. Hey. What are you doing? Just trying to realign all the blood in my body so it floods to my brain so I'm not so bored. You? Releasing you, you're OR'd. What does that mean? Releasing you on your own recognizance, but you have to come back for your court date, of course. Of course, yeah. Why you smiling like that? Happy for you is all. Now get the hell outta here before I change my mind. Yes, ma'am. You gotta take her back, man. No, I will not take a gift back. - Bad luck. - Look, I'll leave her here. It'll be like I never had her, right? How bout this, I can help wake her up and then you can discuss it with her. Okay? Venice, bring something for Chuchu. It's all here? Where the fuck did she even come from anyway? She was my brother's girl, but you don't have to worry about that. The fucker is in the pen for shooting some nigger's head off. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you fuckin' psycho voodoo bastard. You're tryin' to fuckin' kill me! It's like you fuckin' sit there in your chair with your fuckin' cowboy hat on. You look me in the eyes and you say, "I like you, Donny," 'cause I remember it, and then you send me with a lifeless chick and she's a fuckin' fruit basket. Donny. - Shut the fuck up. - You shut up. Why don't you both shut the fuck up? Relax, my brother's the least of your worries. He's as good as dead. Least of my concerns? Would you listen to yourself? You're talkin' about your own fuckin' brother here. No, no, no, no, absolutely not. No fuckin' way. My brother was a no good thug. We reap what we sow. The fuck does that mean? Now like I deserve this? What did I do? Donny, come here. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, don't start this shit again. Maybe this is a good thing. When's the last time you got laid? Are you fuckin' serious? Yes. Paolo, you gotta help me, alright? Oh, I did, she can walk now. Come on, Venice, please? Oh, fuck. Why the fuck is this happening to me? Oh. Have fun, eh? Be gentle. Hey. Where's the white girl? I let her out. Neesy, she's 15 fuckin' years old. What did you think you were gonna do with her? Send her home? It's 11:00 at night. That kid needed a lesson. Maybe but she don't deserve to die. That's not my problem. You were at lunch. Hey, girl. What you doin' out past your bedtime? Me? Yeah, you, baby. I lost my puppy. I'll be your puppy, baby. You guys got a cigarette? We got somethin' better. Girl, we got the gold. Crack is so pretty, don't ya think? You know you want it, baby. No, I want a cigarette. What if I let you have this one free? Then I'd say nothing in life is free. But I don't know, maybe we can make a deal. How much change you both got in your pockets? Come on, playas, play with me. Okay, if I smoke your freebie, you give me all your change. - What do we get? - Think about it. Why's the first one always free? It's the hook. Yep, so, if I smoke one hit and I don't want another one, you pay me. Otherwise, I'm hooked. Alright, sugarplum. So, where you from, Ma? I'm a child star. My parents went crazy and blew all my money. No way. Who are you? Bro, I'm just playing. I'm not a child star. Ready? Like it, baby? What the fuck did we tell you about peddling your shit on this side of town, huh? Hey yo, let go of my brother, beaner! Fuck you call me? Shit, he just called you a beaner! - Shut up, crack whore. - Excuse me, sir. I am not a crack whore. Yeah, I just smoked a hit of crack, but that doesn't... Bitch, shut the fuck up. Okay. That's fucking smart. Yeah, I'm leaving. Oh, fuck, oh, shit. What we got going on over here, huh? Oh, shit! Look like it's our side of the town now, son. I wanna shoot your motherfuckin' ass right now, you fuckin' roach. I been itchin' to shoot me a motherfuckin' cholo tonight. Yeah, look, bap, bap, bap! What are you doing? Get outta here. But, Antoine, this my spot. Okay, I'm stuttering around here. I'm not gettin' my point across? Get the fuck outta here. You think this is a fuckin' game? Get the fuck outta here. Back to this motherfuckin' burrito eatin' motherfucker right here. Oh, so you nervous, huh? Oh, my God. What was that? Takin' our territory back from the Mexo. Is that wise? Hell yeah, it's our spot now. Wouldn't it just be more reasonable to, ya know, pick a spot they don't want? Oh, yeah he, oh, that's the bitch right there. No, no, no, that's the bigger bitch right here. Put it right here. Right here. My boy over there, Antoine, it was one of his boys that got shot. Now we fixin' to kill all them roaches. If I had my gun, they would be shot. Two Mexicans shot right now, cholo on the ground bleedin' right now. The biggest problem is, nigga who shot 'em all's threatening the pen and shit, cock out. But it'll be over soon. I heard that nigga just got moved back to general pop. Nah, I heard he's buying himself protection. I'm done. Deal's a deal, man. Nah, nah, no way. Nobody likes a punk. Jesus. Fine. Come on. Thank you. Hey, white girl. You pretty cool. How 'bout I let you come home and do me? Enticing, but I've got plans, sorry. Pshhh. Yeah, Donny, come on! Oh, you're such a good boy, Donny. You're such a good boy. Oh, my God. No more. Holy fuck, holy shit. No, no, no. You gotta stop right now. Good boy. Alright, see ya. So, guy is sick and Rod wants us to come out there tomorrow afternoon. Shit, alright. I'm gonna go see if Freddie's here yet. She's not gonna be. They mentioned stopping in Venice. You should just fuckin' chill, man. That's alright, I'm a little amped anyways. That shit gets into your system no matter how careful you are. Ooh, can I get some of that shit in my system? - Yes, you may, baby. - Ooh. Hey, hey. Don't eat it all, okay? Okay, alright. Pack of cigarettes, please. $1.65. How's 1.55 sound? Like you're short 10 cents. But it's only 10 cents. - Don't care. - Come on, man. Want me to recite state capitals? I want you to have 10 more cents. Okay look, kind gas attendant man. I have had a very long day. I was locked up for four hours in a racial wrestling ring and I was just forced to smoke crack in order to obtain this perfect amount of change that you are calling 10 cents short. 'Cause it is. Oh, my God. This is what we're gonna do, okay? I'm go... Thanks, man. - Have a great day. - Mm-hmm. Hey, you guys have a light? No smoking. Come on, please. No, child, no smoking. You ain't gon' blow us up out here tonight, uh-uh. Fine. Do you know how long it'd take to walk to San Diego from here? Child, I'm from LA. I ain't walked nowhere since I was 10 years old. Shit, I gotta get there. Suggestions? Girl, use them thumbs. Or that pretty little mouth. Suck a dick all the way to Mexico. Do you guys have pimps or a pimp? Why you ask? Bored fascination. I'll tell ya for two smokes. - Really? - Uh-huh. Okay. He dead. Mm-hmm, I killed that motherfucker. You're lyin', really? You's a dumbass white girl. She just being mean. It's true though. I killed him. He was interfering with my money makin'. That seems kinda counterintuitive for a pimp. Yeah, he was hatin' on our cholo niggas, so he had to go. Now let me give you a tip, little girl. Ain't nobody out here this late except for murderers, hustlers, hookers, and you. So watch your back. That's a pretty weak tip. Yeah, well, here's one. Start learning how to suck dick. You'll be fine. Just stay away from them gangs. 'Cause spics be killin' niggas. Niggas be killin' spics. And as long as you ain't one of them, you be alright. What about you guys? Ain't nobody kills good pussy, honey. Yeah, baby. Nobody kills good pussy, baby. Here, take it. There, did my good deed for the day. Bye, ladies. Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Niggers! Fucking cunt. Chuchu. Fuckin' kill her. Motherfucker, you! This is all her fault, Venice! No, Paolo, it's Lobo's fault. It's your brother's fault. Yeah, exactly, why isn't he dead yet? How should I know? You fuckin' bitch, I'm gonna fuckin' shoot you. Fuck, shit. Alright, I'm gonna take off. If you wanna go, you gotta take Chuchu with you. No, no, no, no. I really don't think I can. You don't wanna take her, no problem. I'll kill her. Alright, alright, I'll take her, alright? You know, when I'm done with all this shit, I'm gonna get a job at a fuckin' carwash. Nine to five, that's what I'm gonna do. No, you take Chuchu, you get the rest of the money, you don't get robbed, you don't get kidnapped, you don't get killed and this'll all be over soon. Alright, and I definitely have to take her? Yes! Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. You gonna ask me if I want ice cream? Why are you giving me money? I like to take care of the kids on the street. You have a nice one, mister. - Hey, guys. - Hey! So you didn't get shot, that's really great for, ya know, you. But I assume not for the other guys, you know? Oh, let me see, let me see. Oh, it's okay. That's 100% white girl right there. Yeah. On point. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Helen Keller. Helen Keller, right? Yes, perfect, you are perfect. No, I'm pretty sure I can see, hear and talk. No, no, no, no, no, I get that. I get that, see, we got a game that we like to play. Right? See, I'm gonna fuck you until you go blind. Then my man Beef here, he gonna fuck you until you go deaf. Then I'm gonna come back around and I'm gonna fuck you until you go mute. You see? Okay. That's seriously mortifying. Super clever though, that's real clever. See we got a little mouthy little smartass, little... oh, shit! Yeah, I like her mouth. I like her mouth. No, guys, that was a compliment. Total compliment. Isn't there a war you should be tending to? Bitch, don't be talkin' to me about what I should be doin'! I should be fuckin' you right now. Truce, man? You want my cigarettes? No, I don't want no fuckin' cigarettes. Oh, ain't nobody to save your ass. Man, who the fuck? Dad, oh, my God, it's my Dad! Dad, oh, hey. Shit, one second. You know, guys, this has been real great. Ya know, he's a cop, I was just rebelling. You've seen it a million times. Hey, you know what though? You guys have a really sick ride. Next time we hang out, I wanna ride in it, you know? I got something for you to ride on! Bye guys! Helen! Helen! Ooh. So, where you going? San Diego. That ain't her daddy, nigga, that's a trick. She 'bout to suck his dick right now. Come on, man. That was my white girl, man. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Just don't think you're gonna get anything from me, okay? I don't. Well, excuse me if I find that unlikely. I mean, I don't fault you for it, it's just, you're not gonna get it from me, deal? I hate clowns. What? They don't scare me, I just don't like them. I set one on fire at my friend's birthday party once. Why would you do that? Are you a serial killer? No, I'm a father. And John Wayne Gacy was a fucking clown. That doesn't mean he didn't kill little boys. I'm not a killer. Just listen, if you are a murderer, that's your business entirely. Just please don't murder me, okay? I'm way too fuckin' tired to die right now. I promise. Uh... This is far as I can take you. Thanks for not killing me. Um, uh... Z? Dude. I can see you. I'm a Cherokee! Fuck! Go around! Chill the fuck out, Z. Dude, I need you to cool off. Z, Z, it's Nick, okay? Please, please shut the fuck up. You can't have me, man. You can't have me. I'm like free. I'm like a free man. We don't want you. We need you to shut the fuck up. Hey, that's pretty good. Hey, Herman, look at this. What? Cute. That means he likes it. Right. And who are you? The ghost of Christmas past? Herman. I'm just a drunk. He's not just a drunk. Tell her. I write a little, that's all. Really? I'm Freddie, nice to meet you. I'm a runaway and according to two gang members, a smartass. Runaway, huh? Someone beat you? No. Touch you? Nope. Orphan? No, sir. One who runs away often does so to get away from something. Yes, often. But not always. Do you know what impetuous means? No. It means a person who acts in a rash and inconsiderate manner, often the mark of the very young. I think you just insulted me with a thesaurus. Well, as much as I love to be analyzed. Please. Please stay. Keep an old man company while he eats one of his last meals. Fine. But it's your turn now. What? What's your mark of the, ya know, very, very, very old? And make it good or this dance is over. The mark of the very old is always the same, young lady. Reflection hampered by immeasurable regret. What's your biggest regret? That it took me until now to realize what I could've learned at your age if I wasn't such an impetuous, horrid little know-it-all. Wow, you just might be the worst new friend maker on the planet. Don't confuse tactics with character. There's only one thing for people like us. If you say it's sweet 16's, we're done for. Ambition. But once you know, you have to live up to it or else. Or else? Liver spots and immeasurable regret? Why run when there's nothing to run from? I'm not running. Those were your words, not mine. It's just an expression. Sure it is. It was nice to meet you, Herman. Keep it. What's up, two socks? Hey. Said you were gonna stop using rigs. It's better this way. Whatever, man, see ya outside. What the fuck man, what? What? I think we're being followed. What am I looking at? Look, those two Mexican dudes down there in that car. What the fuck are you... stop being paranoid, man. No, look, it rings a bell. What? Z, you're being paranoid, chill the fuck out. Dude, it's just a blue car. No, the two Mexican dudes sat in it all night. I am paranoid, but I'm not wrong about this. Look, I remember them. Oh, motherfucker! Shit. Z, help me, man. What'd I just fucking say about the needles? Yeah, Freddie wouldn't be in jail if you weren't shooting! - What? Z? - Oops. Freddie got popped from that rig she snatched from Otto. You fucking dick. What happened? You OD'd, asshole. Go get ice. - Whoa. - Sorry! Yeah, no. Hey, I know you. Uh, no, I don't think so. No, no, no, I definitely know you. You're friends with Dready Jeff, right? Yeah, kinda. Yeah, what are you doin' here? Um, I'm headed to San Diego. I got arrested yesterday and I managed to make it this far without dying. Oh, shit. You wanna sit down? You wanna have a cup of coffee or something? - Yeah, thank you. - Excuse me, ma'am. Can you get my friend a cup of coffee please? Do you want anything else? You want something to eat? Food or something? Yeah, can I get a cheese Danish please? Watch Movies and Series Free! And a jelly donut and no, that's it. Do you mind? Oh no, go ahead. So ya know, I live in San Diego. I could give you a ride if you want. Seriously? Yeah, ya know, I need the company anyway. That would actually be amazing. Great. Not to be rude or anything but, you kinda look like you could use a bath. Nah, that's just my style. Your style. So, what's in San Diego? A modeling job. Modeling? You serious? No. Well, you know, you could. You ever tried? Yes, actually, I modeled for a mugshot earlier. I looked awesome too. Cute, man. Great, that's what they say about gremlins. Well ya know, I'm totally serious about the modeling thing. I could help you get cleaned up. Come on, man. I kinda need a break from people fucking with me right now. Well, I'm not fucking with you. Seriously, my girl's a stylist. She's really cool. I think you'd really like her and, ya know, honestly, ya kinda look like fuckin' shit. Okay, thank you. Um... Whatever, fine, make me over. Just, um, I need to get to San Diego. Well, San Diego it is. Wanna go? Yeah, okay. Is that your car? Yep. Can I drive? No. Oh, come on, man, really? Come on! - Donny! - No, no, Chuchu, go. Go back upstairs. I got business, you go back to bed, alright? Yo, what'd you just call her? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what? What the fuck did you just call her? - Fuck you! - She didn't mean that. What the fuck is this cunt's name, bro? Chuchu or something like that. That could totally be a fake name. It sounds like a fake name, right? You got something you wanna say to me? Excuse me, bitch? Can I get my keys? Donny, fuck off! And you, you piece of shit, ugly, impotent fucking monkey. - Keep talking. - Ooh. - No, no, bro, don't kill her. - Shut the fuck up. I'm gonna go sit in the car. Go sit in the car. That was you, wasn't it? And your little shit fuck boyfriend killed my friend. Get your fuckin' hands off of me. I didn't do nothin'. Lobo shot him, wasn't me. Well, Lobo's fuckin' dead now, isn't he? Lobo's not dead. You wanna hear a secret? Teeny tiny little secret, hmm? You want Lobo dead? Get the money before he does. Mission Beach, San Diego, three hours. Bitch. How's that supposed to keep me from killing you now though? It's not so I don't die, darky. So you do. You're running outta time. What's up, man? I'm takin' a shit, man. - What's up? - Yeah, Antoine. What, man? Antoine, guess what the fuck's about to go down, dog? Oh, you saw that bitch? Hey. Wake up. I'm gonna head inside, you want anything? Ow. Yeah. Um... Can I get a water and chocolate and some type of candy, gummy form? Gummy, sugar. What, I have my vices and you have yours, okay? I'll get you some sugar. Mickey Anderson the third. Holy shit. Here ya go, kiddo. What happened to the water? Oh, there's water in there. Beer's gross. It's a good beer. Try it, seriously. See, there ya go, not so bad. It's fucking gross. Shit. Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. Sick, how much money is that? I've never seen that much money before. Just about 300k. - Damn, Richie Rich. - Yeah, well, it's not mine. I actually have to ship it off later next week. Still, you just got kind of cool even though you're making me drink this gross ass beer. Yeah, well, try to enjoy it. Be a big girl. Let's get outta here. - What if it doesn't work? - Z, trust me, it'll work, okay? Otto, get fuckin' dressed, we gotta go, man. Shit. Hey, check this fool out right here. Yeah, oh, he got game on this girl or what? Hey, you, where'd that fool go? Oh, he's right there. Alright, fuck! Wake up. Wake up, slut! What the? Who the fuck are you? Shut up! Now do your job! My job, what the fuck? My job? My... right, my job, I'm so sorry. You just, you scared me. Well, shut up! No, you shut up and get down. Let's start over. Come on, no, no, no, get down now, down. Let go, down. Good, stay. Now what are you waiting for? Shh! Fucking cunt. No, get the fuck away! Oh, my God, thank you. He is really fuckin' strong. You broke my glass, huh? I paid. Give her back. What? What do you want me to do? What do I want you to do? Are you fuckin' serious? He say he pay. You paid how much? $200. Oh, my God. Wow, I just got sold for $200 and you, you ugly motherfucker, just got robbed. You, no professional. No shit, I'm not professional. I'm 15 fucking years old! Now if either of you prefer not to go to jail for statutory, I suggest you get my fuckin' clothes! I'll get you someone else. God damn it! Now get the fuck out of here. Can I get dressed first, asshole? You know what, no, actually, I think I'm gonna stick around. Give me 50 bucks. Are you outta your mind? Maybe, but ya know what, you got a naked, bruised and bloodied minor standing in the parking lot of your shitty ass whore hotel. So, if you don't give me 50 bucks, I'm just gonna sit here and start a game of hopscotch, maybe knock on the neighbors door, see if they wanna play. Does that sound fun? Here's five. Here's 20. There, now get the fuck outta my property! Fuck you, man! Go fuck yourself and your mother! I just got sold. Hey, man, how's it goin'? Good? Yeah, I'm alright. I'm alright, I'm chill. Got the money, Nick? No, not yet. Not yet, why? Nick, you said to me, "Donny, be here tomorrow. I'll have the rest of your money." I'm here, Nick. Where's the money? I'll have it. I just have to go up to El Tay. El Tay? What kinda trust fund surfer lives in the fucking canyon, man? I didn't want you freaking out. Don't want me freaking out? What, Rod? Rod, no. No fuckin' way, you know how I feel about him, right? Rod, no. No fuckin' way. Hey, he has a kid now. - It's different. - Oh, great. Or he bought the kid. Trust me. Besides, we got bigger problems. You seen two Mexican dudes in a blue - Thunderbird following you? - No, why? Because I think there was two Mexican dudes in a blue Thunderbird following you - and now they're following us. - Fuck! Hey, hey, we took care of it but, you know where they might be? I don't know. You think it's her? - Chuchu? - Yeah. Fuck yeah, I think it's her. She's the fuckin' voodoo curse. Tried to kill her, I fuckin' saved her ass. Stupid, I'm doomed to be with that fucked up ginger broad and she's fuckin' annoying, by the way. Hey, hey, hey. Donny, relax. Donny. Shit she put me through the past couple days, you would not believe bro, seriously. You need to fuckin' move away from me right now, okay? Seriously. - Good morning, lovers! - Jesus. How was your night? Freddie, you're back. - Z. - Oh, my God. Oh! - I'm gonna go tell Nick. - Okay. Thanks. Think nothin' of it. I really mean it, Freddie, I'd have gone away, gone away. Thank you. It was a shitty prize anyway. - Feed me? - Yeah. - Please? - Alright. Hey, Nick, Freddie's back. What? Hey, don't go anywhere. Yeah. What the hell are you lookin' at? Where the fuck are they, Z? They were right here. Shit, we gotta go, man. Fuck! Where's Donny and that chick? They were with you, man, what happened? Hey, wanna bite? - Hi. - Hi! Z, stay in case they come back, okay? No. Otto, stay with Z. Okay. - Freddie, you coming? - Mm-hmm. We'll be back in like an hour and a half? - All right. - Bye, guys. See you. Why the fuck did you say that, man? Yep. Always left behind. Don't complain, man. Otto. Hmm? Otto. This is real bad, man. Fucker, is that Donny? What the fuck is going on, dude? Come on, help me. Help me, fuck! Freddie, what happened? I got arrested. I know that. When'd you get out? Last night. Where you been? Eating bonbons in the back of a limo. Come on, Nick, where do you think I've been? Hey. Yeah? Come on, talk to me. Really? Yeah, really. Okay, I got arrested and then I got out and some really fucked up people helped me get here and that's it. Nothing bad happened to you? Like? Freddie, come on. I'm good, okay? Really happy to see you. I'm happy to see Otto and Z. And... I'm happy to finally relax. I'm tired. I'm really tired. We don't have the fuckin' keys. I got this. - Got a knife? - Yeah. Where'd you learn this, Connecticut? Nantucket. Nick, hi. Guy, do you remember Nick? Nick's a friend of Daddy's and a business associate. Hey, Bird, this is Freddie. She's an artist. Nice, I'm a sculptor. Well, looks like you did real well with that one. I did, but I had some help. Rod, Nick's here! He's feeling so much better today. Aren't you? Wanna hold him? Oh, no, not really, that's not my thing. Aw, you're a natural. Nick, good to see ya, buddy. Hey, man. Hi, I'm Freddie. Nice to meet you. Freddie, I'm Rod, nice to meet you. You want a beer? Yeah, sure. Come on in. You light it? Yeah, yesterday. I gotta say it just 'cause I gotta say it. It's good stuff, man. This is Angel's money. I can't have any shit going down. You're gonna be asking me for more next week. Good shit, Nick. You know, there's not a time in my life I've been happier. That's awesome, Rod. Cute kid, homie. Do anything to protect our babies, now wouldn't we, huh? Who the fuck are you? Get your hands off my fuckin' kid. Hey, hey, hey, relax, man. Just call me the candy man, homeboy. You just gotta stand there and listen, stay calm, homie. Hey, you just relax, alright? - Oh, yeah. - Shit. What's up, motherfuckers? Shoot him, ese, shoot him now! See, all I wanted to do is kill this dumbass. Get your ass back in the car. All I want to do was kill this dumbass ho. Stay still! And then I got to thinkin', I said, "Self, why don't we put Lobo in his motherfuckin' place, in a body bag," and then I'm gonna kill you like I was gonna do anyway, right? Shh. This my favorite part, this my favorite part, this is my favorite part. We make a ton of money, that's what we call gettin' paid for doing what we love. Right, Beef? And that's why we takin' all the money. Oh, we gonna take all the motherfuckin' money. Fucking asshole! Fuckin' kill you! I'll fucking kill you! Man, shoot this bitch, Beef! Oh! Give me my fucking kid, you fucking wetback scum, before I blow your brains all over this fuckin' place. Oh, I can taste it. I can taste it, hey. Hey, you got the baby wipes? Oh! Oh! Okay. Can I ask a question? Oh, shit, man, it's Helen Keller. Helen, oh! Oh! Oh! See, see, now I can fuck you now! Can somebody please tell me what the hell is going on? Like seriously, how the fuck do you guys get here? That ain't none of your damn business, little white whore. Oh, my God. I'm not a fucking whore! Seriously, I have been arrested, hustled, jerked off on and sold today, all with less than two hours of sleep. So if you kill me right now, I would probably feel so much fuckin' better than I do. So will someone please just tell me what the fuck is going on so if I die right now, at least I know why? Hey, man, shoot her, man. It was for your protection, it was protection. It was about buying protection for the wetback. Sorry, but right? Because one of your boys was killed? Beef, shoot her ass! Man, I shot the last one, alright? I got brain in my eye right now. Oh, but that's right, isn't it? - Fuck it. - Hey, hey, hey. Not happening, fat boy. Oh, my God, please don't fucking shoot each other. Please, please! Just tell me how much money you're fighting over. Shut up, Freddie! No, tell me how much money! Freddie, shut the fuck up. If it's less than $300,000, you all need to fuckin' stop shushing me and hear me out 'cause I've got a story to tell. I'm listening. Hi, Mickey! Oh, it's good to see you. Ya know, I was gonna say sorry for being late on my first day of work, but then I thought, huh, I clocked in hours ago, didn't I? So, uh, no sorries for you. How the hell did you know where I lived? Good trick knows everything about her pimp. But I'm not mad, so, um, why don't you invite me in and I'll tell you everything that happened. Who is it, babe? Hi, I'm Mickey's sister. He doesn't really talk about our side of the family much 'cause he's embarrassed. It's 'cause Mom's a stripper, isn't it? Same old dirty Daddy though. Frank had other kids? No, she's lying. True. He actually drugged me and sold me just this morning to a real ugly fella for $200. That sounds more like the Mickey you know, doesn't it? So what do you want? Oh, Mickey. It's not me that wants it. Boom, boom, boom. It's them. Oh, that was good. Admit it, that was so good. Oh, and they're like totally gonna rob you right now. Yeah. And how did I know where you lived? I looked in your glove box, asshole. You gotta be fucking kidding me right now. Shut the fuck up. Shit. Let fucking go of me, you piece of shit. Oh, no, no, no, he doesn't like to be talked to like that. Fuck this little kid, Mickey! Do something! What exactly do you want me to fucking do right now? Something, damn it! Stop fucking smelling me. Oh, shit, you bitch. You broke my fucking nose! Handle your business, Beef. Shoot this bitch. Yeah, she broke it. She broke my nose. So, are you gonna tell us where the money is or do we have to find it? You think I'm fucking scared of you bitches? Coming into my fuckin' house, let's go, come on. Let's go. Whoa, okay! You must be stupid or you just wanna fuckin' die. Get this dumb motherfucker out my face. Shut the hell up, man, yo, get the stuff, man, let's go. Ain't no beef in the house, man, let's go, sit down! Sit down. Get that fucking gun outta my face. Mickey's getting robbed. Mickey's getting robbed. Mickey, Mickey, Mickey. Isn't this fun? I'm gonna find you and you're gonna pay for this. You little fucking cunt. Oh, oh. Little cunt? - Really? - Yeah. Ya know, you should be a nicer hostess. Your guests might turn on you with this attitude. You fuckin' bitch. - Hi, guys! - Fuckin' bitch. Come on, come on. Oh, the American dream, baby. You over here beatin' up Barbie. Oh, man, oh, yes. Did I do good? Oh, you did, Helen! Oh, you did good. Call Efe now, let's take care of this. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I can't let you do that, homeboy. Nah, nah, nah, we making this call, man, alright? And you gonna get that gun outta my motherfuckin' face, homeboy. Hey, put the phone down. Hey, shut the fuck up, man, we makin' a deal, homie. Look, that wasn't the part of the fuckin' deal. It's part of the fuckin' deal, alright? - No, it ain't. - Yes, it is. No, it wasn't! What you gonna do, huh? Put the phone down. We gotta go. Yeah, I will take your ass out. No, no, no, no. Let go of me. We're leaving now. No, you've done enough for today. Stop it, Nick. Not a game, Freddie. Okay, fine, fucking stop. Gosh, you can stop manhandling me. See what you made me do? I had to shoot the damn phone. Okay, I just wanted to say goodbye. You are fuckin' ridiculous. I know. Um... Thanks for not shooting each other. I hope you buy lots of nice things and like, ya know, take each other out for fancy meals and stuff. Listen, I'm not a gang obviously. Mm-mm. But thanks for letting me pretend. You welcome. She brings something special outta me. It's bad business selling little girls. Ya know, I hope you live through this. But if you don't, you only have yourself to blame. Hit me, hit me! Oh. Donny, hey! Hey. You got my money, ese? Yeah. Where's Chuchu? Uh, I lost her. Nice work. Where? In the desert. We were kinda high and I lost her but I'm sure she's fine though. Okay? Who fucking cares if she's fine? I fucking care, okay? So shut the fuck up, outlaw. - Oh, shut the fuck up? - Yeah. You shut the fuck up. Ah, my little Indian whore! Alright, I'm gonna take off, man. Hey, hey, hey, Donny. Wait, come here. No, no, no, no. No more gifts, alright? Please, Venice, would you tell him no more gifts. Paolo, I totally lost the last one. I can't do this again, alright, please. Aw. This is you. Take it. Take it. You're in your own hands now. And now, you're in my hands. No! Thank you. I'll see ya. Rod, by the way, I'm super sorry about what happened. Nah, it's all sorted. Anyway, I kinda miss that rush, you know? It's good. Did you bury her? Hey. Nick, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah, I did. Good. Rod, would you mind if I made a phone call? It's long distance, but it won't be too long. Sure, kid, phone's in the back. Thank you. Who you calling? My brother. Ah, okay. I'll see ya out there. Yeah. The Victims. What? That would've been my gang name. Deception tactic. You're dangerous. Don't confuse tactics with character. Hello? Hugo? So good to hear your voice. How are you, buddy? I'm cool, where are you? Southern California. Just below LA. Hey, is Mom there? Um, date with Richard. Good, okay, are you ready for this story? - Uh-huh. - Okay, so last night, I was in the hood, and I ended up in the middle of this crazy ass race war. - In Compton? - Close. Were people getting shot at? No, but these two gangsters kept threatening - to beat me up. - What? Yeah, but then we all became friends, so it was okay. No way. Yeah, oh, and guess what! What? Lowrider mission accomplished. Holy crap, did they have hydraulics? Yeah, it was pretty wild. I really wish that you were with me for that part. How's everything back home? Fine. And Mom? I don't know. I miss you both. Miss you too. But don't come home for us. Okay? Promise? Yeah, I promise. Alright, will you tell Mom that I love her and not to worry? She raised me right. See you soon. I promise. Love you, bye. Bye. Ooh. Okay. |
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