1
[BELL JINGLING]
HO, HO, HO.
BUY A TREE.
CHRISTMAS IS JUS AROUND THE CORNER.
BUY A TREE...
[GRUNTS]
OH, LORNA!
I TELL YOU, THIS GETS
MORE COMPLICATED EACH YEAR.
OH-- YOU SAID
YOU'D LET ME HELP YOU.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO FALL
OFF OF THIS THING.
I'LL KEEP HER
OFF THE LADDER.
YOU'LL KEEP YOUR HANDS
TO YOURSELF,
IS WHAT YOU'LL DO.
I NEVER EVEN TOUCHED YOU.
MAYBE SO, BUT YOU'VE LUSTED
FOR ME IN YOUR HEART.
I'M RIGHT HERE
IF YOU NEED ME.
[CAR HONKING]
WHAT'S THE LITTLE
TERROR UP TO?
OH, HECTOR!
[LAUGHS]
WOO-HOO, I LOOK GOOD.
YES, I DO.
COME ON,
YOU KNOW
YOUR MOM DOESN'T WANT YOU
PLAYING IN MY CAR.
SHE WON'T NOTICE.
SHE'S GO THE LATE SHIFT AGAIN,
DELIVERING PACKAGES.
SO, UM... WHEN ARE YOU
TAKING ME ON A SAFARI?
OH... WE'LL TOTALLY
DO IT NEXT WEEK.
I PROMISE.
SEE, I NOTICED
THE SEATS
DON'T RECLINE
IN THIS THING.
DON'T IT GET KIND OF HARD
TO, UM, LIKE,
MAKE OUT IN HERE?
HECTOR!
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
I AM, UH...
12?
NO, YOU ARE EIGH GOING ON DIRTY OLD MAN.
OK, OK, WHATEVER.
DO YOU NEED SOME
HELP CARRYING
THIS TREE UP
TO YOUR APARTMENT?
OH.
YEAH, ACTUALLY
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
THANK YOU.
YEAH. FIVE BUCKS.
OUT.
WHY DO I ALWAYS
GOT TO GET OUT?
WHY CAN'T I
JUST CHILL, MAN?
[GIGGLING]
[WIND WHISTLING]
OOH!
HEY, FELLAS.
COLD ONE.
ALL RIGHT...
WHO'S HUNGRY?
I'M GOOD, I'M GOOD.
BUT I TELL YOU...
ONE MORE YEAR TO GE THE DETAILS DOWN
WOULD NOT HAVE
BEEN A BAD THING.
OH, I'M HANDLING I ALL RIGHT.
JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS,
THAT'S ALL.
THINK DAD GOT NERVOUS
HIS FIRST CHRISTMAS?
AH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT, IT'S FINE.
WHAT CAN GO WRONG?
BUDDY?
[REINDEER GRUNTING]
WHERE'S BUDDY?
GOTCHA.
PANDA:
WELCOME TO THE ZOO.
KID:
COOL.
WOMAN:
YEAH...
THAT'S SO GOOD.
YOU ARE SO THIRSTY.
YES, YOU ARE.
THERE YOU GO,
RIGHT IN THE MOUTH.
OHH!
THERE YOU GO.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
GOOD BOY.
OH, I'M SOAKING.
[TRUMPETS]
OH!
ARE YOU JOKING ME?
DID YOU JUS TAKE MY LUNCH?
DID YOU JUST TAKE MY LUNCH,
YOU BIG SILLY?
HEYA, SANDY.
HEY, BIG GUY.
HO, HO, HO.
OH, JORDAN!
I DIDN'T GET YOU ANYTHING.
NO BIG DEAL.
I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR COVERING FOR ME
ON THE ZOO TOUR THIS WEEK.
WELL, I HAVEN'T LED
A TOUR IN TWO YEARS.
YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT,
ALL RIGHT?
TELL SOME JOKES.
I'M NOT GONNA TELL
ANY JOKES.
SANDY: OK, GUYS,
TOUR'S ABOUT TO START.
PLENTY OF SEATS.
OK, HERE WE GO.
OK...
[OVER P.A.]
SO, MY NAME IS SANDY,
AND I WILL BE YOUR TOUR
GUIDE FOR THE NEXT HOUR.
ALL:
HI, SANDY!
HI...
OK...
I'M A LITTLE BIT RUSTY.
UH...
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE
THIS OPPORTUNITY
TO INFORM YOU THA SHOULD WE HAVE A SUDDEN LOSS
IN AIR PRESSURE,
AN OXYGEN MASK
WILL DROP DOWN
IN FRONT OF YOU.
THAT WAS A JOKE.
OK, LET'S GO.
[ENGINE STARTS]
THIS IS GONNA BE ROUGH.
SANDY: NEXT UP, WE HAVE A NEW
ADDITION TO OUR ZOO FAMILY.
THEY ARE SOME VERY
SPECIAL REINDEER
WHICH ARE ON LOAN
FROM A CERTAIN MR. CLAUS.
AREN'T THEY BEAUTIFUL?
YEAH, I HEAR FROM SANTA CLAUS
THAT THESE GUYS WERE GROUNDED
DUE TO POOR NIGHT VISION.
YO, SANDY!
SANDY BROOKS!
UH...
LET'S GO.
HUH?
NOW. MOVE. GO.
[ENGINE STARTS]
MAN:
HEY, SANDY!
HOLD UP,
IT'S ME, BUCK.
SANDY: OK, FOLKS,
NICE AND QUICK. UP AHEAD--
SANDY, HEY, STOP.
COME BACK HERE.
SANDY: ...AFTER THAT COME
THE CAMELS ON THE LEFT,
GIRAFFES ON THE RIGHT.
WE GOTTA BE FAST HERE...
WELL...
YOU CAN RUN,
BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE.
PANDA: WELL,
HAVE A GOOD DAY!
BYE-BYE, NOW.
THIS IS OFFICER
McKIBBLE.
ALL MONKEYS ARE
ACCOUNTED FOR.
OFFICER McKIBBLE...
AREA ONE...
SECURE.
SITUATION UNDER CONTROL.
DARN.
[BUBBLING SOUND]
[YELLING]
[GROANING]
OW!
HOW DID DAD DO THIS?
[SNORING]
HEY THERE, BEAUTIFUL.
OH...
I MUST HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP.
BUCK... WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
WELL, I FIGURED
SINCE I HAD TO DROP
THE REINDEER OFF
AT THE ZOO,
YOU'D WANT ME
TO LOOK YOU UP.
AND YOU LOOK--
I LOOKED FOR THE PAPERWORK
FROM THAT RANCH, BUCK.
YOU CAN'T DROP OFF REINDEER
WITHOUT PAPERWORK.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE A REALLY
SMALL OPERATION,
WE COULD GET SHUT DOWN.
MM.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
PAPERWORK.
I MUST HAVE LEFT I IN THE TRUCK.
NOW, WHERE WAS I?
OH, YEAH...
YOU LOOK GREAT.
ALL RIGHT, STOP.
OH, COME ON.
IT'S CHRISTMAS.
CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS?
WHEN WERE WE EVER FRIENDS?
GOOD POINT.
WE COULD BE MUCH MORE
THAN FRIENDS.
THE HUNTING,
THE ANIMAL TROPHIES...
BUCK, I DETEST EVERYTHING
THAT YOU STAND FOR.
NOT LIKE A MERCENARY LIKE YOU
REALLY STANDS FOR ANYTHING.
I'M NO MERCENARY.
I TOLD YOU I WAS GONNA STOP
LEADING THOSE BIG GAME HUNTS,
AND I DID.
FOR YOU.
THE LEAST YOU CAN DO
IS HAVE DINNER WITH ME.
OH GOD, YOU ARE LIKE
A BIG, DUMB ROCK.
YOU DON'T LISTEN.
I'M ONLY HERE
FOR A FEW DAYS.
WE COULD SPEND THEM ROLLED UP
IN A BEARSKIN RUG,
IN FRONT OF A ROARING FIRE.
THAT SOUNDS REALLY FUN
FOR THE SKINLESS BEAR.
FINE, WE'LL ROLL
OURSELVES UP
IN POTATO SACKS
FOR ALL I CARE.
JUST AS LONG AS WE'RE
ROLLED UP TOGETHER.
READ MY LIPS, BUCK.
EEW.
WELL, AREN'T WE
HIGH AND MIGHTY?
YOU KNOW, I ASKED AROUND...
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU
HAVE SOME OTHER GUY
ITCHING TO SPEND
CHRISTMAS WITH YOU.
SORRY.
BUCK:
WHAT'S THAT GUY DOING?
OH, MY GOD.
LOOKS LIKE
WE GOT AN INTRUDER.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
WHAT WERE YOU
POSSIBLY THINKING,
WANDERING OFF LIKE THAT?
AND LESS THAN A WEEK
BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE LEARNING TO FLY,
I MIGHT ADD?
AS IF I DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT.
THIS IS MY FIRST CHRISTMAS
AS THE MAN IN RED,
THE BIG S.C., THE JOLLY
OLD SAINT NICK, OK?
AND I NEED A LITTLE
HELP ON THIS, BUDDY.
WITH ONLY SEVEN REINDEER,
SLEIGH CAN'T FLY.
SLEIGH DOESN'T FLY,
THERE'S NO CHRISTMAS.
NO CHRISTMAS!
PUT THAT IN YOUR LITTLE
REINDEER BONNE AND THINK ABOUT THAT.
YOU'RE STUCK IN A PEN
WITH ALL THESE N.F.R.s,
"NO-FLY REINDEERS,"
AND BUDDY,
OH, WHAT WOULD DAD SAY?
WHAT?
NO, BUDDY, YOU CAN FLY.
YOU CAN FLY.
TRUST ME, TRUST NICK.
YOU CAN FLY, BUDDY.
YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE
AERIAL ACUMEN.
YOU NEED A RUNNING START.
AND THAT'S ALL,
IT'S JUST A RUNNING START.
IT'S LIKE A STEP,
STEP, LEAP.
IT'S STEP, STEP, LEAP.
YOU STEP, STEP, LEAP.
YOU GOTTA THINK "SWAN LAKE."
STEP, STEP, LEAP...
JUST STEP, STEP, LEAP.
20 BUCKS SAYS HE WAS DUMPED
ON HIS HEAD AS A KID.
...STEP, STEP, LEAP.
SANDY: OK, MISTER!
YOU HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
YOU MIND TELLING ME
WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
AH!
OOH!
LUCKY YOU, YOU GET TO SEE
BUCK SEGER IN ACTION.
SANDY:
HEY, STOP!
CARL, WE'VE GOT AN INTRUDER
HEADING TOWARDS THE PRIMATES.
CARL:
COPY THAT, SANDY.
BUCK:
I'M GAINING ON YOU, PAL.
AH!
SANDY:
HURRY, HE'S GETTING AWAY!
BUCK: YOU'RE MESSING
WITH BUCK SEGER.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WE SHOULD CALL THE POLICE.
I WANT A PIECE
OF THIS GUY FIRST.
SANDY:
WHOA!
WAIT, WHAT WAS
THAT FLASH?
THE SIGN SAYS PULL.
FINE,
IF YOU WANT TO DO I THE EASY WAY.
WHERE DID HE GO?
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL FIND HIM.
HUH...
THESE FOOTPRINTS LEAD
UP TO THIS MIRROR.
OFFICER McKIBBLE:
YEAH.
AND THEN
THEY JUST STOP.
AAH!
[CRASH]
[GROANING]
OW.
I GOTTA FIND
AN EASIER WAY TO TRAVEL.
IF YOU CAN'T BRING
THE REINDEER
TO THE MIRROR,
YOU GOTTA BRING
THE MIRROR
TO THE REINDEER.
IT'S OK.
IT'S A LITTLE TREAT.
GO ON, BUDDY-BOY.
TAKE IT.
YEAH... YEAH.
[LAUGHS]
[McKIBBLE HUMMING]
HEY, SANDY.
OH, HEY, CARL.
OK, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO HAVE SOMEBODY
ON GUARD HERE
DAY AND NIGH IN CASE THAT GUY
COMES BACK.
COPY THAT.
CHRISTMAS SURE BRINGS
OUT THE FREAKS.
SANDY:
YEAH, I KNOW.
LOOKS LIKE YOU GO A NEW FRIEND.
I KNOW.
ISN'T HE SWEET?
YEAH.
THERE'S SOMETHING
SO DIFFEREN ABOUT HIM, THOUGH.
I MEAN, THEY ALL CAME
FROM THE SAME
FARM HERD, BUT...
HE DOESN'T REALLY
SEEM TO FIT IN.
MAYBE HE'S HOMESICK,
I DON'T KNOW.
OFFICER McKIBBLE:
WELL, HE SURE LIKES YOU.
OH!
JINGLE BELLS.
WHAT THE--
McKIBBLE:
HOLD ON.
YOU CAN'T PARK THAT THERE.
COME BACK!
[CLEARS THROAT]
AH!
BUCK, WILL YOU STOP
SNEAKING UP ON ME?
[CHUCKLES]
SO JUMPY.
SO TENSE.
I GOT A SURE-FIRE
CURE FOR THAT.
WHERE DID YOU
JUST COME FROM?
WE STILL HAVEN' SETTLED UP ON DINNER.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
ALL DAY LONG
I'VE GOTTEN THE FEELING
THAT SOMEBODY'S BEEN
WATCHING ME.
IT WAS YOU.
BOBCAT, I HAVEN' BEEN WATCHING YOU.
BUT IF YOU THINK
SOMEBODY HAS,
MAYBE I SHOULD COME OVER
AND CHECK OUT YOUR PLACE,
SAY AROUND 9:00?
I'LL BRING THE WINE.
[PHONE RINGS]
HANG ON.
HOLD THAT THOUGHT.
MAN: SEGER?
MR. TERRELL.
I GOT MY HEART SE ON HUNTING
SOME BIG GAME
THIS CHRISTMAS, SEGER.
YOU COME THROUGH FOR ME,
AND YOU'LL HAVE A CHRISTMAS
TO REMEMBER AS WELL...
A VERY GREEN CHRISTMAS.
BUCK: OH, NOW DON'T YOU WORRY,
SIR. REST ASSURED.
I'LL FIND YOU SOMETHING
VERY BIG AND FEROCIOUS SOON.
I HOPE SO.
I GOT A BIG EMPTY SPACE
ON MY WALL.
OF COURSE, I COULD ALWAYS
MOUNT YOU UP THERE.
WELL, YOU CAN
COUNT ON ME, SIR.
SO, BOBCAT--
WHERE WERE WE?
[CLEARS THROAT]
NICK:
OH, SNOWFLAKES.
OK, HERE WE GO.
HI, I'M--
HI, I'M NICK.
HI. HI.
HELLO, I'M NICK.
MY NAME IS NICK,
AND YOU PROBABLY DON'T RUN
INTO THIS PROBLEM VERY OFTEN,
BUT IT JUST SO HAPPENS
YOUR ZOO HAS MY REINDEER,
AND, UM...
NEED IT BACK!
'CAUSE SLEIGH CAN'T FLY
WITH ONLY SEVEN,
AND IF THE SLEIGH CAN'T FLY
WE GOT TROUBLE.
NO, I HAVEN'T--
NO, I DON'T DRINK.
I HAVEN'T BEEN...
YOU KNOW. NO, THERE'S NO
REASON TO BE ALARMED.
YOU KNOW I'D FEEL MUCH
MORE COMFORTABLE
IF YOU'D PUT DOWN THE GUN
AND STEP AWAY FROM
THE CHRISTMAS CAKE.
DUDE!
JEEZ. WHIZ.
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?
AND WHAT'S WITH
THE SNOW GEAR?
THE...
I'M FROM--
HECTOR, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE UPSTAIRS.
WHO'S THIS?
I WASN'T--
I WAS JUST LOOKING.
I WAS JUST LOOKING.
HE WAS LOOKING
ALL RIGHT.
IT'S OK, IT'S FINE.
I DON'T NORMALLY SHOW
THE PLACE THIS LATE.
BUT SINCE I'M UP WATCHING
THE LITTLE TERROR--
I HAVEN'T ALL NIGHT,
YOU KNOW.
SO, COME ON.
YOU'RE LUCKY I EVEN HAVE
A ROOM AVAILABLE.
I AM?
I MEAN, I AM.
YOU MUST HAVE SEEN
THE SIGN.
AH, YES, THE SIGN.
THAT'S THE DINING ROOM.
AH.
FOR DINING.
THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM.
AH.
FOR LIVING.
OH.
THIS IS A LOVELY
PAINTING OF PARIS.
OH, THANKS.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN?
YEAH, I TRY AND GO
ONCE A YEAR.
WOW.
OH, I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED
OF GOING TO PARIS.
JUST A DREAM.
IT'S A LOVELY CITY,
VERY FRENCH.
CHIMNEYS ARE
A LITTLE TIGHT.
UH-HUH.
IT'S A LITTLE WARM FOR A JACKET,
DON'T YOU THINK?
YES.
THE PLACE FOR RENT'S
UPSTAIRS.
RENT'S DUE
FIRST OF THE MONTH.
THIS WILL BE YOUR ROOM.
WOW.
THAT IS SOME MIRROR.
IT'S AN HEIRLOOM.
GET TO BE MY AGE,
THINGS YOU BOUGHT NEW
ARE SUDDENLY HEIRLOOMS.
IS THAT RIGHT?
SO...
THE ROOM GETS
SUN ALL DAY.
HAS A NICE AIRY VIEW.
WHAT DO YOU THINK,
MR....?
SNOWDEN.
NICK SNOWDEN.
I THINK IT'LL BE PERFECT.
MAN ON ANSWERING MACHINE:
HI, YOU'VE REACHED
THE NORTHERN LAKES
REINDEER FARMS.
SORRY, WE'RE CLOSED
FOR THE HOLIDAYS,
SO PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE
AFTER THE BEEP
AND HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
[MACHINE BEEPS]
HEY, BILL. IT'S SANDY
FROM THE SAN ERNESTO ZOO.
I'M ACTUALLY CALLING
'CAUSE I NEED A COPY
OF THE PAPERWORK
ON THE REINDEER THAT YOU SENT US
WITH BUCK SEGER.
IF YOU COULD JUS CALL ME BACK, THAT WOULD--
[SANDY SHRIEKS]
THAT WOULD, UM...
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
THANK YOU.
OK, BYE.
[NICK MUTTERING]
WHAT IS THIS DUDE DOING?
[MUTTERING]
GOT MY EYE ON YOU,
NICK SNOWDEN.
DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE UP TO.
YOU KNOW?
STEP INTO MY OFFICE.
SAFETY FIRST.
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
DUDE, I'M EIGHT.
I CAN'T DRIVE.
OH.
TRUTH IS, SANDY'S
A LITTLE OLD FOR ME.
I'LL STEP ASIDE
AND GIVE YOU A SHOT.
BUT IT'LL COST YOU.
HOW SO?
I GOT THIS
CATALOGUE HERE.
AND I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO GET SOMETHING FOR MY MOM
SINCE SHE DOES
WORK HARD
DURING THIS
TIME OF YEAR.
OH, WELL, THESE ARE
BEAUTIFUL, HECTOR.
YEAH, AND EXPENSIVE.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO PICK UP
SOME ODD JOBS AROUND HERE,
BUT THE NEIGHBORS,
THEY'RE CHEAP.
WELL, THAT'S NOT NAUGHTY,
HECTOR.
YOU MUST LOVE YOUR
MOTHER VERY MUCH.
[WHISPERING]
KEEP IT DOWN, OK?
OK.
NOTE TO SELF:
HECTOR, NICE.
BUT YOU KNOW,
SHE'S A MOM, OK?
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUS TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL?
'CAUSE YOU KNOW, FOR MOMS,
THEY LIKE THAT BETTER
THAN DIAMONDS AND JEWELS.
BECAUSE...
IT'S NOT COOL.
[SANDY CLEARS THROAT]
HELLO?
I KNOW, I KNOW.
THANKS.
SURE.
THAT'S THE NEW TENANT.
YOU OWE ME.
WOW. HE LIKED YOU.
NICK: YEAH, HE SEEMS
LIKE A NICE KID.
SANDY:
YEAH.
NOT NAUGHTY.
I LIVE UPSTAIRS.
OH.
I'M SANDY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
OH-- NICK.
ST.-- NICK...
NAME. MINE... NICK.
OH, SORRY.
THAT'S OK.
YOU OK?
YEAH, GOOD,
THANK YOU.
I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.
OH.
OK.
OH.
[ENGINE STARTS]
OH, IT'S...
THAT'S GOT IT.
YEAH.
I'LL JUST...
INTERESTING
MEETING YOU, NICK.
SANDY.
YEAH.
NICK, NAME, MINE...
YOU'RE PATHETIC.
THAT'S REALLY SMOOTH.
OLD MAN:
LORNA, NO!
LORNA: I AM NOT GOING
AND THAT'S IT.
OLD MAN:
BUT LORNA...
WHAT'S ALL THIS,
CHESTER?
OH, THEY USED TO BE
THEATER TICKETS.
SHE'S JUST PLAYING
HARD TO GET.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE NICE
IF I ESCORTED LORNA
TO THE THEATER
FOR HER CHRISTMAS
PRESENT.
LORNA: I TOLD YOU
I'M NOT SITTING
IN ANY DARK BALCONY
WITH YOU.
[SIGHS]
WOMAN HAS THE EARS
OF A BAT.
HER HEARING'S
PRETTY GOOD, TOO.
OH, FOR 20 YEARS,
I'VE TRIED TO GE THAT WOMAN TO GIVE ME
THE TIME OF DAY.
WELL, CHESTER,
I HEAR PARIS IS NICE
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
HM?
WELL, EVEN IF I HAD
THE MONEY,
HOW WOULD I GET HER TO FLY
ACROSS AN OCEAN WITH ME
WHEN I CAN'T EVEN
GET HER TO GO TO A PLAY?
RIGHT.
RIGHT, YEAH,
THAT IS A TOUGH ONE.
LET ME GET BACK
TO YOU ON THAT.
OK, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THANKS FOR COMING.
THANK YOU.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
WELL, YOU KNOW,
IT'S A ZOO, AND...
I'M A TOURIST.
YES, YOU ARE.
LORNA SAID YOU WORKED
AT THE ZOO.
SHE SAID,
"SHE WORKS AT THE ZOO."
I THOUGHT I MIGH RUN INTO YOU HERE.
LADY, WHERE DO THEY GE THE ANIMALS FROM?
WOW, GREAT QUESTION,
RITCHIE.
OH, UM, WELL...
LET'S SEE, OTHER ZOOs'
BREEDING PROGRAMS.
UH, PRIVATE COLLECTORS,
SOMETIMES EVEN
FROM THE WILD.
MISTER, YOU KNOW THA YOU HAVE PRICE TAGS
ON YOUR CLOTHES?
IS THAT UNUSUAL?
IN SOME CIRCLES, YEAH.
OK, WELL, I GOTTA GO
CHECK ON SOMETHING,
SO YOU TAKE THAT...
AND, UM, I'LL SEE
YOU GUYS LATER.
BYE.
OK IF I WALK WITH YOU?
YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S FINE.
HOW DID HE KNOW YOUR NAME?
SANDY:
HEY, HOW'D YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT KID'S
NAME WAS BACK THERE?
NOBODY SAID HIS NAME.
NOPE.
OH, I MUST HAVE
HEARD IT EARLIER.
I HEAR A NAME, IT STICKS,
THAT'S ALL.
[CLEARS THROAT]
OH.
WHAT'S THIS?
YOU'LL SEE.
HERE WE GO.
AREN'T THEY SWEET?
THESE GUYS JUS CAME IN LAST WEEK.
HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETIMES
THEY LET ME PET THEM.
YOU WANNA...
YOU WANNA TRY?
OH, NO, I'M KIND
OF ALLERGIC.
OH, COME ON,
NO, NO, NO,
DON'T BE SCARED.
OK.
[REINDEER GRUNTS]
HI.
SANDY:
OH MY GOSH.
WHOA THERE.
FRIENDLY FELLA.
OH, WHAT IS HE...
WHAT IS THIS?
WHY DO YOU HAVE MOSS
IN YOUR POCKET?
DO I?
OH, I PICKED SOME.
NORTH OF HERE.
NORTH, I THINK.
HUH.
OH, HEY, HE REALLY GOES FOR IT,
DON'T YOU BUDDY-BOY?
BUDDY-BOY.
OH WAIT, KIDS.
I'M SORRY, YOU CAN'T...
YOU CAN'T FEED
THEM HERE.
I AM SO NOT GETTING
DISTRACTED.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK FROST.
YOU WATCH THIS,
MY FELT-TIPPED FRIEND.
OOH, ZIP IT.
HI, SANDY.
HI.
HEY, LISTEN,
I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU WERE FREE
AND SAY, STARVING.
I MEAN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE
ANYTHING BUT STARVING.
I MEAN, NOT TO SAY
THAT YOU LOOK FAT.
I MEAN, YOU DON' LOOK FAT, OR SKINNY.
YOU LOOK GREA AND I WAS WONDERING IF
YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANTED
TO EAT SOMETHING,
THEN YOU COULD EAT SOMETHING,
AND MAYBE SOMETIME SOON,
AND MAYBE WITH ME.
WAIT, WHAT DID
YOU JUST SAY?
WELL, IT WAS
A LITTLE JUMBLED.
NO, NO, NO.
NOT THAT.
I COULD HAVE SWORN
THAT YOU
CALLED HIM--
BUCK:
BOBCAT.
BUCK...
HEY.
WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?
THIS IS NICK.
NICK'S A NEW TENANT.
HEY.
AH! ICE STORM.
OH, SORRY.
SOMETIMES I FORGE MY OWN STRENGTH.
IS THAT RIGHT?
MAN ON RADIO: SANDY,
WE GOT A SITUATION.
THERE'S A TRAM FULL
OF TOURISTS AND NO GUIDE.
OH, I TOTALLY FORGOT.
OK, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
I'M SO SORRY.
I'M HEADIN' THAT WAY,
I'LL WALK YOU.
ALL RIGHT, WE GOTTA--
DON'T WORRY.
I GOT A PLAN, I GOT A PLAN.
YOU JUST STAY PUT.
OK.
JINGLE BELLS,
SHE'S SOMETHING ELSE.
BYE.
HEY, STOP IT.
I HAVE NO ILLUSIONS ABOU HER WANTING A GUY LIKE ME.
I JUST SO HAPPEN TO THINK
THAT SHE MIGHT BE THE KEY
TO GETTING YOU OU OF THIS PLACE.
THANKS FOR NOTHING,
YOU ALMOST GAVE
THE WHOLE GAME AWAY THERE.
YOU LEARN TO FLY.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF
MY SIDE OF THINGS.
[SIGHS]
...THE GUY WE FOUND
IN THE REINDEER PEN.
AND DID YOU NOTICE
THAT ONE REINDEER
WASN'T AFRAID
OF HIM AT ALL?
AND HE CALLED HIM
"BUDDY."
THIS IS WHAT I MEAN.
YOU'RE OBSESSED
WITH THESE REINDEER.
NOW I'M TELLING YOU,
YOU GOTTA GET AWAY
FROM ALL THIS
CRAZINESS.
YOU NEED BUCK TIME.
ONCE AGAIN I THINK THE ONLY
APPROPRIATE RESPONSE
WOULD BE "EEW."
SANDY:
LET'S SEE HERE.
MOSS...
MOSS...
OH!
SO STRANGE...
"CLADONIA RANGIFERINA"
ARCTIC MOSS.
HUH.
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I'VE NEVER BURNED
THE TURKEY.
LORNA,
ISN'T THIS A HAM?
OH...
OH, BUT...
THEN I DEFINITELY
OVERCOOKED IT.
YOUR COOKING SMELLS AS
HEAVENLY AS EVER, LORNA.
WHY THE HEAVY MACHINERY?
DON'T MAKE ME COME
UP THERE, MR. FIELDS.
HERE.
SO ANYWAY, WHAT ABOU THIS NEW TENANT?
OH...
I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER ASK
FOR APPLICATIONS.
PEOPLE LIE
ON APPLICATIONS.
AND THEIR REFERENCES
LIE FOR THEM.
I GO BY MY INSTINCTS.
BESIDES,
HE'S CUTE.
WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
NO, I DON'T...
I DON'T...
I HADN'T REALLY NOTICED.
[WHOOSHING]
WHAT IS THIS?
[WIND WHISTLING]
NICK:
AAH!
[THUD]
NICK?
I CAN EXPLAIN THIS.
I WANT A MODEL ROCKET,
A BIKE,
A BATTING CAGE,
A HOT AIR BALLOON,
A SAMURAI SWORD,
A LIFETIME SUBSCRIPTION
TO PLAY--
YOU REALIZE
THIS IS BLACKMAIL.
UH, WHAT'S YOUR POINT?
WELL, FOR ONE,
IT FALLS UNDER NAUGHTY.
THAT SHOULD BE
THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES.
I MEAN, YOU GOT A REINDEER
STUCK IN THE ZOO
AND CHRISTMAS EVE IS
ALMOST HERE.
I KNOW, I KNOW, I'LL GET HIM
OUT TOMORROW, HECTOR.
OK?
NO. WE'LL
GET HIM OUT TOMORROW.
YOU DRIVE A TOUGH
BARGAIN, KID.
ALL RIGHT,
WISH ME LUCK.
GOOD LUCK.
OH, THAT LOOKS
PRETTY HEAVY.
SORRY, YOUR DOOR WAS...
SO I--
CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND?
THAT WOULD BE GREAT,
THANK YOU.
OH...
I GOT IT,
I GOT IT.
ARE YOU OK?
ABSOLUTELY, THANK YOU.
OK.
YOU OK?
YEP.
I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
OH.
BOXES.
WHAT'S IN ALL THESE BOXES?
UH, THEY'RE ORNAMENTS.
IN ALL OF THEM?
WOW.
YOU GOT ENOUGH HERE
TO DECORATE A SMALL VILLAGE.
[RECORDER REWINDS]
YEAH.
YOU WANT SOME
OF THESE DOWN?
NO, THAT'S OK.
WHAT?
NO, NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU, THOUGH.
OK.
TEST, TEST.
TEST, TEST.
OK.
AH, THANK YOU.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
HEAVY BOX.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I LOVE YOUR TREE.
OH, NOW YOU'RE
MAKING FUN OF ME.
WHAT? NO.
I-- NO, I LOVE IT.
IT'S GREAT.
IT'S AN AMAZING TREE.
EXACTLY THE ONE
THAT I WOULD HAVE PICKED.
IT'S PERFECT.
THANKS.
YEAH. WHO IS THIS?
OH, THAT'S MY MOM
AND MY DAD AND ME.
THAT WAS OUR LAS CHRISTMAS TOGETHER.
CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?
YEAH.
WHY DON'T YOU BRING
THOSE BOXES DOWN?
OH, UM...
I DON'T KNOW.
THEY WERE MY MOTHER'S.
IT WAS KIND OF HER HOLIDAY.
SHE WOULD GET SO INTO
BAKING AND DECORATING
IN THE WHOLE HOUSE
ON CHRISTMAS.
PEOPLE WOULD COME
FROM MILES AROUND
JUST TO SEE I ALL LIT UP.
IT WAS KIND OF MAGIC.
BUT, UH...
WITH HER GONE
AND UM, DAD, IT'S...
IT'S-- I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S NOT REALLY THE SAME.
WELL, THEY LOVED YOU,
I CAN SEE THAT.
SO, NICK, WHAT BRINGS
YOU TO TOWN?
ME? TO TOWN?
ME, TO TOWN?
ME TO TOWN?
YEAH.
IT'S SHIPPING.
I MEAN, SHIPPING PROBLEMS
THAT I HAVE WITH
MY FAMILY BUSINESS.
SHIPPING PROBLEMS THAT I HAVE
WITH MY FAMILY BUSINESS.
YOU KNOW, BORING...
IT'S--
YOU KNOW...
WHAT IS THAT?
LISTEN, UM...
[CLEARS THROAT]
WHAT IS THE DEAL
WITH YOUR JOB?
IT'S SO WONDERFUL AT THE ZOO
WITH THE ANIMALS
AND THE ANIMALS
AND THE ZOO.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL?
I'M CURIOUS.
OH, I DON'T KNOW,
I LOVE THEM ALL.
UH-HUH. YOU MUST HAVE
A FAVORITE ANIMAL,
AMONGST ALL THE ANIMALS.
DO YOU HAVE ONE?
UM, I DON'T KNOW,
I LIKE POLAR BEARS.
POLAR BEARS.
WHAT ELSE?
UM, REINDEER.
OH, REINDEER.
BUT ANYWAY, WHAT KIND OF
BUSINESS ARE YOU GUYS IN?
MANUFACTURING
AND DISTRIBUTION.
WHAT IS THE NAME
OF THAT SECURITY GUARD
WITH THE BIG HAT AND--
CARL.
MANUFACTURING WHAT?
WHAT DO WE MANUFACTURE?
YOU NAME IT,
WE MAKE IT.
THAT'S NOT OUR SLOGAN
BUT WE MAKE ALL SORTS OF THINGS.
WHERE ARE YOU GUYS
HEADQUARTERED?
WE'RE UP NORTH, IN CANADA.
OH, CANADA.
SO YOU MUST BE A HUGE
FAN OF NAFTA.
NO, YEAH, I LOVE NAFTA.
ON TUESDAYS I EA A LOT OF NAFTA.
[RECORD SCRATCHES]
SORRY.
YEAH.
WELL, I, UH...
I SHOULD GO.
I WORK THROUGH THE NIGHT.
I WORK THROUGH THE NIGHT.
YEAH, I HAVE TO GO.
I HAVE TO GO TO BED.
I HAVE A CHRISTMAS PARTY
TOMORROW
AT THE ZOO.
OH.
SO...
OH, NOW. OH.
OK.
THANKS FOR THE BOXES.
OK.
BYE.
BYE.
[WHOOSHING]
[NICK SPUTTERING]
SHH.
[WHOOSHING]
DON'T CROWD THE ANIMALS.
REGULATIONS.
SANDY ON RADIO:
CARL--
THIS IS OFFICER McKIBBLE.
COME BACK.
[SANDY'S VOICE SPLICED]
CARL, STOP BY THE POLAR BEARS.
UH, SHOULDN' SOMEBODY ELSE GO?
I GOT REINDEER DUTY HERE.
[RECORDER REWINDING]
SANDY:
CARL, STOP BY
THE
POLAR BEARS.
THE REINDEER
ARE
ALL RIGHT.
10-4.
BACK!
IT WORKED.
SO, UM...
WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
WELL, A LITTLE
SOMETHING I FOUND
IN MY DAD'S JUNK CLOSET.
WHO'S GONNA WEAR IT?
BUDDY.
THAT'S YOUR PLAN?
A REINDEER DISGUISED
AS A REINDEER?
THAT'S RIGHT, MY LITTLE
PINT-SIZED FRIEND.
WE'RE GONNA SPRING HIM
WITH SANDY'S MASTER KEY,
WE'RE GONNA DRESS HIM UP
IN THIS OUTFIT,
AND WE'RE GONNA MARCH HIM
RIGHT OUT OF THE ZOO.
WE ARE SO BUSTED.
CHILDREN: WE WANT SANTA!
WE WANT SANTA!
HE'S COMING!
CHILDREN:
WE WANT SANTA!
ELF:
OH, SANTA!
CHILDREN:
WE WANT SANTA!
WE LOST OUR SANTA.
BAD SUSHI.
WHAT?
NO, YOU GOTTA BE
KIDDING ME.
HE'S COMING,
HE'S COMING.
WELL, AT LEAST WE'VE
GOT THE SUIT.
NO, IT TOOK ME WEEKS
TO GUILT SOMEBODY
INTO WEARING I IN THE FIRST PLACE.
WHERE ARE WE GOING
TO GET A REPLACEMEN AT THE LAST MINUTE?
THESE KIDS ARE
FREAKING OUT.
CHILDREN: WE WANT SANTA!
WE WANT SANTA!
PSST!
BUDDY, COME ON.
NICK:
IT'S JAILBREAK TIME.
COAST IS CLEAR.
ACT NATURAL.
ACT NATURAL.
[BUDDY GRUNTING]
NO, IT DOES NO MAKE YOU LOOK FAT.
[WHISTLING]
HECTOR: OH, ISN'T I A BEAUTIFUL DAY?
SIR, HI...
WE'D LIKE A PICTURE
WITH YOUR FRIEND.
UM...
SORRY, LADY,
WE'RE IN A RUSH.
WHO ARE YOU?
THE SHRIMP
WHO STOLE CHRISTMAS?
IT'S FOR THE KIDS.
BUT...
CAN'T SAY NO TO THE KIDS.
HERE YOU GO.
ALL RIGHT, JUMP IN HERE
WITH THE FAKE REINDEER.
FAKE REINDEER.
ALL RIGHT, SQUEEZE TOGETHER
WITH THE FAKE REINDEER.
AND EVERYBODY SAY,
"ICICLE."
GRANDMA:
ICICLE.
SANDY'S COMING!
HERE, YOU, UH...
BE A GOOD LITTLE
SANTA'S HELPER.
I CAN'T HOLD THIS!
GRANDMA: HERE WE GO.
HERE WE ARE.
I'LL BE BACK.
TAKE THAT.
OH!
OH, NICK.
SANDY, HEY!
THERE YOU ARE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
HE BROUGHT ME TO THE ZOO
TO SEE THE ANIMALS SINCE
YOU NEVER HAVE THE TIME.
YOU NEVER HAVE THE TIME.
OH, I KNOW, I AM
SO SORRY ABOUT THAT.
IT'S JUST BEEN SO CRAZY.
YOU KNOW, WE'RE DOING THIS
CHRISTMAS SHOW RIGHT NOW,
AND OUR SANTA CLAUS
GOT SICK.
YOUR SANTA CLAUS GOT SICK?
WHAT A BUMMER.
THAT'S A BUMMER.
SO I'M GOING OVER
TO THE REINDEER PEN
TO SEE IF CARL
CAN FILL IN.
NO, I MEAN, CARL?
I DON'T THINK HE'D BE
A GOOD SANTA CLAUS.
DOESN'T HAVE THE PANACHE.
WAIT A SECOND,
YOU...
YOU ARE LIKE, WHAT,
A 42 REGULAR?
WHAT?
YEAH.
YOU ARE A PERFECT FIT.
OH, THIS IS AWESOME.
COME ON, EVERYONE'S WAITING.
NO, NO, NO...
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IF I PUT ON A SANTA SUIT,
THOSE KIDS, THEY'RE
GONNA THINK I'M SANTA.
THAT'S THE POINT.
COME ON, IT'LL BE LIKE,
10 MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE.
YOU'LL COME IN,
THEY'LL SIT ON YOUR LAP,
THEY'LL WHISPER WHAT THEY WAN FOR CHRISTMAS IN YOUR EAR,
AND YOU'RE DONE.
YOU CAN GO BACK
TO THE NORTH POLE.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO IT.
GREAT.
AND WHY DON'T YOU
GO WATCH THE REINDEER?
WHY DON'T YOU HURRY
YOUR BUTT BACK, SANTA?
WHERE'D HE GO?
WHO?
THE REINDEER.
I DON'T KNOW.
HE FLEW AWAY.
IT'S A JOKE.
HE WENT, UH...
OH, NO, NO,
IT WAS THAT WAY.
OR WAS IT THAT WAY?
OH!
I THINK IT WAS THAT WAY.
CHILDREN:
SANTA! SANTA!
HE'S ON HIS WAY!
LOOK, LOOK!
[CHILDREN CHEER]
GIRL:
WE WANT A STORY.
YEAH, WE WANT A STORY.
STORY! STORY!
STORY!
STORY! STORY!
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
I'LL TELL 'EM A STORY.
CHILDREN:
STORY! STORY!
GOOD LUCK.
[CHILDREN CHEER]
HI, BOYS AND GIRLS.
GIRL:
HI, SANTA.
ONCE UPON A TIME,
IN A FAR AND DISTANT LAND,
THERE LIVED A MEAN
AND CRUEL LORD.
AND ONE CHRISTMAS,
THIS MEAN AND CRUEL LORD
WAS THROWING A LAVISH FEAS FOR KINGS AND QUEENS,
WHEN LO AND BEHOLD,
A POOR BEGGAR WAS CAUGH TAKING SCRAPS OF FOOD
FROM HIS KITCHEN.
NOW THIS CRUEL LORD
WAS A MISER,
SO WHAT DID HE DO
BUT HE THREW HIM OUT.
INTO THE COLD,
COLD WINTER NIGHT.
OH!
THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.
BUDDY!
BUT WHAT THE CRUEL LORD
DID NOT KNOW,
WAS THAT THIS WAS
NO ORDINARY BEGGAR.
THIS MAN WAS ACTUALLY
A VERY POWERFUL WIZARD,
AND HE CAST A SPELL
OVER THIS CRUEL LORD.
NOW, UNDER THIS SPELL
THIS CRUEL LORD VANISHED,
AND THEN HE WOULD
REAPPEAR EVERY YEAR,
ONE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
DURING WHICH TIME
HE WAS TO GIVE AWAY
SOME OF HIS TREASURE,
AND SPREAD GLAD TIDINGS
AND GOOD CHEER.
WELL, AS YOU CAN
WELL IMAGINE,
THIS CRUEL LORD GAVE
AND GAVE AND GAVE,
UNTIL A STRANGE THING
BEGAN TO HAPPEN.
HE BEGAN TO SEE THE JOY THA HIS GIVING BROUGHT OTHERS,
AND BIT BY LITTLE BIT,
DESPITE HIMSELF,
HE BEGAN TO LIKE IT.
AND BEFORE TOO LONG
HE BEGAN TO LOVE IT.
AND AS HE DID, THIS SPELL
PASSED FROM A CURSE
TO A BLESSING.
AND THIS ONCE CRUEL LORD
GAVE WITH A GLAD HEART.
IT WAS AT THIS POIN THAT WONDROUS THINGS
STARTED TO HAPPEN.
FOR EXAMPLE,
HE WORRIED THAT HIS BIG BAG
OF GIFTS AND GOLD
WAS NEARING EMPTY,
WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN
IT WOULD FILL
RIGHT BACK UP AGAIN.
THIS WAS THE POWER
OF THAT SPELL.
AND IT WAS THIS SPELL
THAT WAS PASSED ON FROM
GENERATION TO GENERATION.
FROM FATHER TO SON,
JUST AS IT WAS PASSED
FROM MY FATHER TO ME.
THAT'S HOW I BECAME
SANTA CLAUS.
[WHIMPERING]
OK, SO...
[VOICE BREAKING]
THAT'S THE STORY OF
HOW SANTA CAME TO BE.
AND NOW IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME
AND SANTA'S VERY BUSY
'CAUSE HE'S GO LOTS OF STUFF TO DO.
SO THANKS FOR LISTENING.
GOODBYE, KIDS. BYE-BYE.
BYE.
BYE, SANTA.
BYE, SANTA.
[CHILDREN CHEER]
[BUDDY GRUNTS]
BUDDY, COME ON, MAN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WE GOTTA GET YOU OUT OF HERE
BEFORE PEOPLE SEE YOU.
COME ON.
COME HERE, BUDDY.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
YOU COMING, OR WHAT?
BUDDY--
QUIT PLAYING WITH ME, MAN.
WHERE ARE YOU?
BUDDY!
WHAT IN THE...
[BUDDY GRUNTS]
HOW'D YOU GET IN THERE?
OH!
PHEW, THAT WAS CLOSE.
GOOD JOB GETTING HIM
BACK IN THERE.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
ONE MINUTE I'M STANDING
RIGHT NEXT TO HIM,
AND THEN THE NEXT,
HE'S IN THIS PEN.
REALLY?
YEAH.
UH-OH. YOU THINK
HE JUMPED?
OH, GOOD EGGNOG.
FIRST THEY LEARN TO JUMP,
AND THEN THEY LEARN TO FLY.
WHAT IF HE STARTS FLYING
BEFORE YOU CAN GET HIM OUT?
WHAT IF PEOPLE SEE?
THAT WOULD BE BAD,
HECTOR.
THAT WOULD BE
VERY, VERY BAD.
HECTOR: ALL RIGHT,
YOU TRIED CARRYING BUDDY OU TO YOUR MAGIC MIRROR.
YOU TRIED BRINGING
THE MAGIC MIRROR TO HIM.
AND THERE'S THIS WHOLE THING
WITH THE REINDEER COSTUME,
WHICH I WOULD SAY WAS
A BAD IDEA FROM THE GET-GO.
WE NEED A NEW WAY
TO SMUGGLE HIM OUT.
IT'S NEVER GONNA WORK.
I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE
TO SMUGGLE HIM OUT.
HEY!
WAIT!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU CAN'T JUST QUIT.
YOU CAN'T JUST WALK AWAY.
WHAT HAPPENED TO,
"IF BUDDY CAN'T FLY
"THERE'S NO CHRISTMAS"?
AND IF YOU CAN'T FLY...
HELLO?
WORLD OF DISAPPOINTMENT.
HECTOR, I'M NOT GIVING UP.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I QUIT?
I'M NOT QUITTING.
I'M JUST GONNA CHANGE MY TACTICS
IS WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
I'M GONNA GET SANDY TO HELP US.
THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT?
YOU ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS.
YOW!
[WHOOSHING]
[CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING]
[CAR HORN HONKING]
[CAROL CONTINUES PLAYING]
[CROWD CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
...EVEN A LIMO.
HEY, NICK!
NICK! NICK!
DID YOU SEE
THE LINE OF CARS?
[HAMMERING]
PRETTY COOL, HUH?
I BET YOU COULD SEE OUR HOUSE
FROM OUTER SPACE.
[POWER SAW WHIRRING]
NICK!
NICK?
HE'S UP HERE.
HELPING ME.
HEY.
[EXHALES]
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR
A MINUTE OUTSIDE, PLEASE?
SURE.
OH, LOOK. YOU TWO ARE
UNDER THE MISTLETOE.
GO ON, NICK.
GIVE HER A KISS.
[WHIMPERS]
THAT CAN'T BE GOOD.
YOU HAD NO RIGH TO DO THIS.
AND WHO DO YOU
THINK YOU ARE?
NICK. I TOLD YOU
IN THE JEEP.
I'M...
YOU KNOW...
DON'T MAKE JOKES.
I'M NOT MAKING JOKES.
YOU WERE ROOTING THROUGH
MY PERSONAL SPACE.
NO, NO.
LORNA LET ME IN.
YOU WERE. YOU WERE GOING
THROUGH ALL OF MY THINGS.
I JUST WANTED
TO CHEER YOU UP.
I DON'T REMEMBER SAYING
I NEEDED CHEERING UP.
ALL THOSE BOXES
IN THE ATTIC...
I DIDN'T THINK YOUR
MOTHER'D BE HAPPY
IF SHE KNEW HER
FAVORITE DECORATIONS
WERE TUCKED AWAY
IN AN ATTIC
YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR,
I DIDN'T THINK.
YOU DIDN'T THINK?
RIGHT.
YOU DIDN'T THINK?
I HOPE MAYBE NOW
YOU'RE CHEERED UP.
ALL RIGHT...
SANDY,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY, I SHOULDN'T--
I'M SORRY.
BUT, I MEAN,
LOOK AROUND YOU.
LOOK AT ALL THIS.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
WHAT DO I SEE?
I SEE...
I SEE CHRISTMAS.
PRETTY GOOD, HUH?
LISTEN, SANDY, THERE'S
SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU.
I'M...
I...
TELL HER NOW, NICKY-BOY.
...THOUGHT THA I MIGHT COOK DINNER.
FOR EVERYONE HERE.
TO THANK THEM FOR
THEIR HOSPITALITY.
[SCOFFS]
AND MAYBE WE
COULD DRESS UP...
ALSO.
OK.
OK.
[NECK CRACKS]
[SIGHS]
WHAT WAS THAT?
YOU DIDN'T TELL HER.
I PANICKED.
LEAVE ME BE.
WHO KNEW SANTA
WAS A DWEEB.
YOU CAN'T HAVE
TWO SKATEBOARDS.
THAT'S TOO MANY
SKATEBOARDS.
DUDE, YOU AIN'T SEEN
NOTHING YET.
THIS IS NOT REALLY
THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS.
[DOOR OPENS]
OH, HEY, HECTOR--
I'M TAKING MY DRESS
WITH ME.
I'M GONNA TRY TO GE OFF WORK EARLY.
BUT, BABY, I'M SORRY.
I REALLY CAN'T MAKE YOU
ANY PROMISES, OK?
YEAH, WHATEVER.
LOOK, I KNOW I'VE BEEN
WORKING A LOT LATELY,
BUT TRUST ME,
I DON'T LIKE I ANY MORE THAN YOU DO.
WHATEVER.
[DOOR CLOSES]
THIS HAPPENS
EVERY CHRISTMAS.
I REALLY DO HATE MY JOB
THIS TIME OF YEAR.
LISTEN, HE'LL
UNDERSTAND ONE DAY.
HE'S JUST A KID.
PLUS, IT'S IMPORTAN WHAT YOU DO.
I'M IN DELIVERY TOO,
I SHOULD KNOW.
AND ALL THE CARDS
AND GIFTS,
AND LETTERS, PRESENTS.
HOW ARE THEY
GOING TO GE TO WHERE THEY'RE GOING
WITHOUT US?
AND THINK OF HOW HAPPY
THAT MAKES PEOPLE.
[SCOFFS]
ALL I CAN THINK ABOU RIGHT NOW
IS HOW TIRED IT MAKES ME.
WE DELIVER MAGIC, ISABEL.
YOU'RE A LUCKY WOMAN.
[ENGINE STARTS]
WHAT IS THAT FOR?
NOTHING.
GOOD MORNING.
I FOUND SOME MORE.
THESE WERE UNDER MY BED.
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU HAD ALL THESE
LOVELY THINGS PACKED AWAY.
I KNOW, IT'S SO GOOD
TO SEE IT ALL AGAIN.
SO, UM...
WHERE'S NICK?
OH, I IMAGINE HE'D
BE OFF BUYING A TURKEY
AT THE SUPERMARKE ABOUT NOW.
DOING EVERYTHING BUT THE ONE
THING HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.
HEY, REMEMBER, HE WANTS
US ALL OUT OF THE HOUSE
UNTIL DINNER'S READY.
OH, HE'S REALLY
QUITE A FELLA.
YEAH.
YEAH, I SUPPOSE HE IS.
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.
LORNA!
THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON
BETWEEN ME AND NICK.
THERE ISN'T!
AND BESIDES,
HE LIVES IN CANADA.
SO...
FOR A WHOLE LOT OF
NOTHING GOING ON,
YOU SURE ARE BLUSHING.
[GIGGLES]
[BUDDY SNORTS]
NICK: YEAH, WELL,
YOU WEREN'T THERE,
SO YOU DON'T KNOW,
ALL RIGHT?
IT WAS WONDERFUL.
FOR ONE SPECTACULAR MOMEN I WAS A NORMAL GUY
WHO STOOD A CHANCE
WITH A GIRL.
[BUDDY GRUNTS]
YEAH, I KNOW.
I KNOW, I KNOW, BUDDY.
IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS EVE
AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS,
THE PERFECT TIME TO FINALLY
TELL HER THE TRUTH,
DON'T YOU THINK?
[GRUNTS]
I HAVE A PLAN.
P-L-A-N-E, PLAN.
[BUDDY GRUNTS]
IS IT? NO "E"?
NO, YOU WERE ALWAYS
A BETTER SCHOLAR THAN ME.
THERE'S GONNA BE A GREAT PLAN,
A GREAT PLAN. WE'RE IN.
I'M GONNA COOK UP A HUGE
FEAST FOR THE ENTIRE HOUSE,
AND THEN WHEN THE TIME
IS RIGHT,
I'LL PULL SANDY ASIDE,
OFFER HER A LITTLE
MORE WINE,
AND THEN I'LL TELL HER.
TELL HER WHAT, NICK-O?
BUCK! IT'S BUCK.
HI, BUCK.
HEY, SO TELL ME
SOMETHING, NICK.
DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL
OR SOMETHING,
TO LEARN HOW TO TALK TO
THESE WALKING MEATLOAVES?
'CAUSE ME, I TRY AND TALK
TO THEM AND... NOTHING.
SO TELL ME, NICK...
YOU MAKING A MOVE ON MY GIRL?
[STUTTERING]
YOUR...?
[MIMICKING STUTTER]
HEY! LISTEN UP.
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU.
EVER SINCE YOU'VE MOVED
INTO THE WACKO HOUSE.
SO DON'T YOU GO TRYING
PULLING ANYTHING OVER ON SANDY.
IF YOU DO...
I'LL FEED YOU
TO THE POLAR BEARS.
OH, WHAT THE HELL.
OH!
HEY...
[BUDDY GRUNTS]
IT'S OK.
HE TRIES THAT AGAIN...
I'LL KNOCK HIM
INTO THE BAY OF FUNDY.
YOU STAY PUT.
I'M GONNA GO THROW UP.
HEY, THERE.
OH! BUCK.
FOR THE LAST TIME:
WILL YOU STOP
SNEAKING UP ON ME?
OOH, ME LIKE-Y THE SHOES.
[MEOWS]
[SCOFFS]
WE'RE HAVING
A HOUSE DINNER.
I THOUGHT I WOULD WEAR
SOMETHING NICE.
OH YEAH?
IS THAT GUY GONNA BE THERE?
WELL, IF YOU MEAN NICK...
YES...
HE IS A TENANT.
NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND--
MY INSTINCTS ARE TELLING
ME THAT HE'S TRYING
TO WORK SOME ANGLE ON YOU.
YOU BEING THE EXPERT ON ANGLES.
I THINK THAT HE WAS THE GUY
IN THE REINDEER PEN.
BUCK, JUST STOP.
THE WAY HE LOOKED AT YOU...
THE WAY HE COZIED UP
TO YOU LAST NIGHT.
YOU WERE SPYING ON ME?
BUCK, I WANT YOU
OUT OF MY LIFE.
HEY, I'M JUST TRYING
TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU, SANDY.
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.
THAT'S JUST THE KIND
OF GUY THAT I AM.
OUT.
GARNISH...
[WHOOSHING]
[TIMER RINGS]
HOT, HOT, HOT...
[BELLOWING]
GREAT NORTH!
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING HERE?
NOW IS NOT THE TIME.
YEAH, I'M SURE DAD WOULD
HAVE HANDLED IT DIFFERENTLY.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY HELP. NO
ONE ASKED YOU GUYS TO COME HERE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? THANKS
FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE.
YOU GOTTA GET UP
THE STAIRS, OK?
AND BACK IN THROUGH
THE MIRROR, RIGHT NOW.
[CAR HONKS]
[ALL]
OH!
DON'T YOU DARE
START WITHOUT ME.
OH, I MADE IT.
THEY FOUND SOMEBODY
TO TAKE THE SECOND
SHIFT.
IT'S A MIRACLE,
I TELL YA.
OH, IT'S SO LOVELY
YOU COULD JOIN US.
COME ON.
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME.
UP THE STAIRS.
YOU TWO GUYS USE
THE BACK STAIRS.
UP THE STAIRS.
UP WE GO,
COME ON, BOYS.
COME ON, GUYS, COME ON.
UP THE STAIRS.
THE REST OF YOU,
IN THE DINNING ROOM.
...ME TOO.
AND IT BETTER BE GOOD.
I KNOW, BECAUSE
I'M STARVING.
I COULD EAT A HORSE.
CHESTER, BEHAVE.
I HOPE HE CAN COOK,
YOU KNOW?
YOO-HOO, MR. SNOWDEN!
HI.
ARE YOU READY FOR US?
JUST ABOUT.
YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS
GO INTO THE LIVING ROOM.
I GOT SOME WARM NUTS
AND CIDER.
ENJOY YOURSELVES AND
DINNER WILL BE SERVED
IN JUST A COUPLE OF MINUTES.
OK.
[REINDEER GRUNTS]
WHAT IS THAT?
UH...
THE PLUMBING AND THE FURNACE
AND MAYBE IT'S THE TURKEY.
TURKEY'S SAYING,
"I'M READY!"
OK.
SANDY--
YEAH?
YOU, UH...
YOU LOOK VERY NICE.
OH, THANKS.
WAIT, THAT WAS SEVEN, RIGHT?
[MUMBLING]
DANCER, DONNER, COMET, CUPID...
SEVEN. OK.
I GOTTA GO CHECK
ON SOMETHING.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
Y'ALL JUST ENJOY
Y'ALL SELVES.
OK.
HO, HO, HO...
THAT'S NOT BUDDY.
VERY GOOD, HECTOR.
IT'S NOT BUDDY.
SANDY:
NICK?
YES, WE'RE IN HERE.
DON'T COME IN.
JUST GET THE HAT RACK
AND GET HIM IN THE BACK YARD.
HEY, NICK?
COMING!
HERE, REINDEER,
REINDEER, REINDEER.
HEY, DO YOU NEED HELP
WITH ANYTHING?
NO, THINGS ARE...
WE'RE GOOD.
I THINK WE'RE FINE.
ARE YOU SURE?
'CAUSE I COULD HELP
STUFF THE TURKEY,
OR ANYTHING.
YOU KNOW, I GOT HECTOR
HELPING, ACTUALLY.
HE'S IN CHARGE OF STIRRING
AND STUFFING.
WHY DON'T YOU
GO ON BACK OU AND HAVE SOME MORE
NUTS AND CIDER?
AND I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
OK.
THANKS.
OK, OK. BYE.
OK.
AH!
HECTOR:
COME ON, MAN.
LISTEN, YOU BAG OF BONES.
YOU ARE GONNA FLY
THROUGH THAT WINDOW RIGHT NOW.
OR ELSE THERE'S GONNA BE
VENISON ON TONIGHT'S MENU.
GOT IT?
NOW GET UP THERE.
[WHOOSHING]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
LORNA:
OH, GOOD HEAVENS!
WHAT WAS THAT?
HE'S A LITTLE
NEARSIGHTED.
YEAH, AND I BE THEY HEARD THAT.
COME ON, MAN!
WHAT-- NICK, NICK!
WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT...
NOTHING.
WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?
NOISE?
OH, THAT WAS A...
BIRD.
VERY BIG BIRD.
[OBJECT SMASHING]
HECTOR!
A VERY BIG BIRD?
[NICK YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
NICK WILL BE RIGHT OUT.
YEAH.
NICK, WHAT'S GOING ON
IN THERE?
OTHERS:
YEAH!
NICK! THE NATIVES ARE GETTING
RESTLESS OUT HERE.
COME ON, MAN.
ALL RIGHT.
NICK, YOU'VE GO UNTIL THREE...
OPEN THIS DOOR,
OR WE'RE COMIN' IN.
[WHOOSHING]
ONE...
TWO...
OH.
WELL...
LET'S EAT.
CHOW'S ON.
SOUP'S UP!
HMM.
...FOR BEING SO
WELCOMING TO ME
ON SUCH A WONDERFUL
OCCASION.
THANK YOU.
IT'S SO NICE, SITTING
TOGETHER LIKE THIS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY
WE HAVEN'T HAD
CHRISTMAS DINNER BEFORE.
NICK, THIS IS HEAVEN
ON A FORK.
IF I EAT ONE MORE BITE,
I'M GONNA BUST A RIB.
HECTOR: AND IF YOU DON' EAT ALL THAT,
I'LL TAKE IT. MM.
[LAUGHTER]
IN ALL MY YEARS
I HAVE NEVER
TASTED A MEAL LIKE THIS.
IT'S, UH...
NORTHERN CUISINE.
CHESTER: WELL,
AS DELECTABLE AS IT MIGHT BE,
IT DOESN'T HOLD A CANDLE
TO YOUR CUISINE,
LORNA, MY DEAR.
NO MORE WINE
FOR MR. FIELDS.
I HAVE NO USE
FOR THE SPIRITS.
NOT WHEN THE SIGH OF YOU
LEAVES ME SO
UTTERLY INTOXICATED.
I'LL DRINK TO THAT.
WELL,
THEN I BETTER HAVE ANOTHER.
LOOKS LIKE I'M GONNA NEED IT.
[LAUGHTER]
CHESTER:
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME GRAVY?
LORNA:
OLD MAN!
[WINE POURING]
ANYBODY ELSE?
UH-OH, LOOKS LIKE
SOMEBODY'S GO HIS DANCING SHOES ON THERE.
NO... NO...
I'M NOT A-- I DON'T...
COME HERE.
I'M BETTER IN THE CHAIR.
COME ON, COME ON.
YOU CAN TOTALLY
DO THIS.
PUT ONE HAND THERE.
AND THE OTHER ONE
UP HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE JUST GONNA DO
A SIMPLE BOX STEP, OK?
BOX...
OH!
I STEPPED ON YOUR FOOT.
I'M NOT REALLY GOOD.
I DON'T HAVE
A LOT OF PRACTICE.
IT'S OK. YOU KNOW
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO?
WE'RE JUST GONNA SWAY
BACK AND FORTH.
SWAY.
TO MUSIC. LIKE WE'RE
IN EIGHTH GRADE.
JUST LISTEN TO THE MUSIC.
OK.
OK.
McKIBBLE:
CHRISTMAS EVE, PAL.
JUST THE TWO OF US.
MM, THIS IS GOOD.
SORRY I DIDN'T BRING
ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US.
McKIBBLE: I THOUGH SINCE YOU BROUGHT HIM IN,
YOU'D WANNA KNOW.
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING
BY CALLING ME FIRST.
JUST, UH...
MAKE SURE YOU DON' CALL ANYBODY ELSE.
[DIALING PHONE]
MR. TERRELL--
I THINK I'VE FOUND
THE CHRISTMAS PRESEN YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
WELL, I JUST HAD
A GREAT TIME TONIGHT.
YOU KNOW,
IT FELT LIKE FAMILY.
TOTALLY.
NICK--
[LAUGHS]
YOU...
YOU HAVE GIVEN SOMETHING
BACK TO ME THA I NEVER THOUGHT THA I WOULD EVER HAVE AGAIN.
I DID?
MM-HMM.
WHAT?
CHRISTMAS.
HEY, SANDY,
I GOTTA...
I GOTTA TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
WHAT?
WELL, IT'S...
IT'S A DOOZIE.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
YOU KNOW THAT STORY
I TOLD THE KIDS
AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY?
WITH THE SPELL
AND THE...
YEAH, IT WAS AMAZING.
YOU ALMOST HAD ME BELIEVING
IN SANTA CLAUS AGAIN.
OH, REALLY?
WELL...
HOW ABOUT THAT?
BECAUSE, UM...
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF
I TOLD YOU THAT STORY WAS TRUE?
THAT THAT STORY
WAS ABOUT MY FAMILY
AND THAT THAT SPELL
HAD BEEN PASSED ON
DOWN TO ME.
WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO THAT?
UM...
LORNA:
SANDY, DEAR--
YEAH?
YOUR PHONE
WAS RINGING.
THANKS.
HOLD ON.
HI, THIS IS SANDY.
WHAT?
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
OK, OK, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
WHAT'S WRONG?
A LITTLE REINDEER IS MISSING.
SOMEBODY TOOK HIM.
WHAT? MISSING?
POLICE RADIO: UH, UNIT FOUR,
YOU'RE 10-1. SWITCH CHANNELS...
SO, WHO DID WE HAVE
STATIONED HERE TONIGHT?
CARL. ONLY HE WASN' HERE WHEN I CAME ON.
CARL?
DOES ANYONE KNOW
WHERE HE IS?
NOPE. BUT I'M SURE
HE'S AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.
[REINDEER GRUNTS]
OH BOY, OH BOY, OH BOY...
HEY, CARL--
WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE.
NICK:
YEAH.
GO AWAY.
CARL, IT'S SANDY.
OPEN UP THIS DOOR.
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.
IT'S FUNNY,
NOBODY SAID YOU DID.
YEAH.
HI.
COME ON IN.
CHRISTMAS RIBBONS.
JUST HEADING HOME.
CARL, ONE OF THE REINDEER
IS MISSING.
YEAH.
OH, NO.
REALLY?
OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.
UH, ANY IDEA
WHAT HAPPENED?
[LAUGHING] I MEAN,
I CERTAINLY DIDN'T SEE SOMEONE
STEAL A REINDEER.
BECAUSE HOW IN THE WORLD
COULD SOMEONE MISS THAT?
IT WASN'T MY IDEA,
OK?
IT WAS BUCK.
BUCK MADE ME HELP HIM.
BUCK?
YEAH, HE SAID IF I DIDN' HE'D BEAT ME UP.
WHY WOULD BUCK
WANNA TAKE HIM BACK?
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS INCREDIBLE.
BUT THAT REINDEER
CAN PRACTICALLY FLY.
AND I DON'T MEAN IN COACH,
IT CAN JUMP, LIKE,
20 FEET THROUGH THE AIR.
I SAW IT MYSELF.
BUCK SAID THAT WE COULD
MAKE A FORTUNE
SELLING THE RIGHTS
TO HUNT HIM.
GOOD KING WENCESLAS.
OK, CARL,
IT'S REALLY IMPORTAN THAT YOU TELL US
EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT WAS ALL SO UPSETTING.
I THINK I MIGH HAVE FAINTED.
COME ON, CARL.
THINK!
THINK!
THINK, CARL!
I THINK HE MIGHT HAVE
SAID SOMETHING
ABOUT HIS AIRPLANE HANGAR?
OW!
[DIAL TONE SOUNDS]
OW!
WAIT, WHA ARE YOU DOING?
CALLING THE POLICE.
I KNOW WHERE THE HANGAR IS.
NO POLICE.
TRUST ME.
LET'S KEEP DRIVING.
NO, BUT...
WHY?
[AIRPLANE ENGINES WHIR]
[REINDEER BELLOWS]
WOW, THAT'S SOMETHING.
YEAH, PRETTY UNIQUE,
HUH, MR. TERRELL?
IT'S LIKE DEER HUNTING
AND DUCK HUNTING
ALL ROLLED INTO ONE.
[SLAMS AGAINST CAGE]
TERRELL:
CAN YOU GUARANTEE
HE'S GONNA FLY?
BUCK: ABSOLUTELY.
LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S CHOMPING AT THE BI TO GET OUT.
TERRELL: UH, $20,000,
IT'S A LITTLE SWEET.
I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL
AT HALF THAT.
I'M GONNA...
I UNDERSTAND, IT'S CHRISTMAS.
WE'RE ALL A LITTLE STRAPPED.
[CHUCKLES]
I TELL YOU WHAT.
IF YOU CAN'T SWING IT,
I HAVE OTHER CLIENTS WHO CAN.
TERRELL: YOU DRIVE A HARD
BARGAIN, SEGER.
I'LL HAVE HIM TO YOUR
RANCH IN A FEW HOURS.
CHRISTMAS MORNING, WE'LL SE BOTH YOU AND HIM LOOSE,
LET THE REINDEER GAMES BEGIN.
YOU GOT YOURSELF A DEAL.
[BUDDY BELLOWS]
HEY, BUDDY-BOY.
HEY. HEY, BUDDY-BOY.
SHH. YOU HAVE
TO BE QUIET.
FAT, FROZEN TUNDRA,
HE'S LOCKED IN HERE GOOD.
BUDDY, WE'RE GONNA
GET YOU OUT.
[ENGINE STARTS]
IT'S JAILBREAK TIME.
[BUDDY BELLOWS]
SNOWFLAKES.
HEY--
OH!
YOU GET AWAY FROM THERE!
NICK:
RUN!
SANDY:
GO, GO!
AH.
[POUNDING]
OPEN UP!
OPEN UP!
WHO'S IN THERE?
I SAID OPEN THIS DOOR!
BOY, HE'S CROSS.
OPEN UP IN THERE!
WHO IS THAT?
I'LL BREAK THIS THING DOWN,
I SWEAR.
SO... WE NEED TO TALK.
I DON'T THINK
RIGHT NOW
IS A VERY GOOD TIME
TO TALK, NICK.
ACTUALLY, I THINK
IT'S A GREAT TIME TO TALK.
WHAT--
[WHOOSHING]
WHAT IS THAT?
THAT'S A WAY OUT.
[SANDY SCREAMS]
WELCOME.
I THINK I HIT MY HEAD
ON THAT MIRROR.
MM-HMM.
HELLO, MY FRIEND.
WHERE ARE WE EXACTLY?
A LITTLE PLACE
I LIKE TO CALL HOME,
ADJACEN TO THE NORTH POLE.
SO THEN...
THESE WOULD BE YOUR...
YES, THEY ARE.
AND THAT...
THAT WOULD BE YOUR...
YES, IT IS.
AND THAT...
THAT IS YOUR...
YES, HE IS.
THIS IS AMAZING.
YES, IT IS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY,
RUDOLPH?
YOU WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE?
HEY!
OK, MEATLOAF,
YOUR TIME IS UP!
NOBODY GETS AWAY
FROM BUCK SEGER.
[BUDDY BELLOWS]
[GASPS]
OH, WOW.
SO...
YOU'RE...
YOU'RE SANTA CLAUS.
YEAH, WELL...
NOT SANTA CLAUS EXACTLY.
[SANDY LAUGHS]
UM...
YOU HAVE REINDEER
THAT CAN FLY,
YOU LIVE IN THE NORTH POLE
ADJACENT,
YOU HAVE THIS...
NEWS FLASH:
YOU'RE SANTA CLAUS.
RIGHT, BUT THERE'S
A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
THE LEGEND OF SANTA CLAUS
AND LITTLE OLD ME, YOU KNOW,
BECAUSE MOST OF THE STUFF
YOU HEAR ABOUT SANTA CLAUS
YOU KNOW, IT'S MYTH,
OR MADE UP.
FABRICATION.
YOU KNOW, FOR EXAMPLE,
ALL THE LITTLE ELVES
RUNNING AROUND HELPING SANTA?
PURE 19TH CENTURY INVENTION.
AND FOR MY MONEY,
ACTUALLY A LITTLE BIT CREEPY.
AND YOU KNOW,
WHEN I LAUGH,
THERE'S NO BOWL
FULL OF JELLY,
I DON'T SHAKE LIKE
A BOWL FULL OF JELLY.
I MEAN, LOOK AT ME.
SO, THIS IS WHERE...
I MAKE THINGS. YEAH.
WAIT A SECOND...
I HAD ONE OF THESE.
YOU HAD ONE OF THOSE?
YEAH.
THEN YOU MUST HAVE
BEEN PRETTY GOOD.
THAT WAS MY DAD'S FAVORITE.
SO WHERE ARE THE RES OF THE TOYS?
THIS IS IT.
I MAKE ONE OF EACH TOY.
AND THEN...
YOU KNOW THAT STORY
I TOLD THE KIDS?
YEAH.
[JINGLING]
[SANDY LAUGHING]
WOW.
IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY NEAT.
AND THERE'S ALWAYS ENOUGH.
HEY, WHY DID YOU
WAIT UNTIL NOW
TO TELL ME THE TRUTH
ABOUT ALL THIS?
SANDY, I TRIED.
BUT, UH...
AH, IT'S OK.
SO THEN, WHY ME?
WELL, UH...
'CAUSE OF BUDDY.
OH!
SO THAT'S WHY THERE WAS
NO PAPERWORK ON THE REINDEER
THAT BUCK BROUGHT IN.
BECAUSE...
THEY DIDN'T COME
FROM A FARM.
NOT FROM A FARM.
AND BUDDY'S ALWAYS
WANDERING OFF
INTO THE FOREST.
SO BUCK TOOK HIM.
AND I TRIED
TO GO DOWN
AND SAVE HIM,
AND THE SLEIGH DOESN'T FLY
WITH ONLY SEVEN REINDEER.
AND THIS IS BUDDY'S
FIRST CHRISTMAS,
SO HE HASN'T LEARNED
TO FLY YET.
THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE
DOING THAT NIGH IN THE REINDEER PEN?
YOU WERE TEACHING BUDDY
HOW TO FLY?
I WAS TRYING.
YOU COULD CALL IT THAT.
AND THEN YOU PUT CARL,
THE REINDEER PEN GUARD THERE.
THIS IS MY FAULT.
NO.
NO, IT IS. I RUINED CHRISTMAS
FOR EVERYBODY.
I'M A-- I'M SCROOGE.
NO, NO, YOU'RE...
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.
AND...
BUDDY'LL LEARN TO FLY.
HE WILL?
I THINK.
BUCK'S GONNA TAKE BUDDY
TO THAT HUNTER.
BUCK...
WE'VE GOTTA GO.
WE?
YES.
[ENGINE STARTS]
[WHOOSHING]
[NICK AND SANDY SCREAMING]
NICK, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
WHAT DO YOU NEED?
DIRECT DIAL?
COME ON!
SO, I TAKE I HE KNOWS.
OH, YEAH.
HE KNOWS.
HEY, HEY, HEY,
COME HERE.
LOOK. HAVE YOU
SEEN THIS?
NEWS REPORTER: AND NOW,
RECAPPING OUR LEAD STORY--
THE REINDEER WAS SEEN
HEADING UP MAPLE STREET,
PASSING THROUGH
THE DOWNTOWN AREA,
AND HEADING TOWARDS
THE HIGHWAY.
SEVERAL EYEWITNESSES SWEAR
IT WAS AIRBORNE.
AND NOW BACK TO YOU
IN THE NEWSROOM, ALEX.
WE'RE RUNNING OU OF TIME, NICK.
NICK, IT'S
HEADING NORTH.
PROBABLY.
POPCORN?
WHO'S GOING NORTH?
IF THEY FIND OU I AM USING THIS TRUCK
FOR UNOFFICIAL BUSINESS,
THEY ARE GONNA
CAN MY BUTT.
TRUST ME, MOM. YOU'LL BE
A HERO TO KIDS EVERYWHERE.
YEAH, KIDS EVERYWHERE.
CONSIDERING YOU WANT ME
TO DRIVE THE TWO OF YOU,
AND YOUR MIRROR, TO SOME
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION,
DON'T YOU THINK
IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA
IF YOU TOLD ME
WHERE I WAS GOING?
MOM, WE GOTTA GO GE THE REINDEER.
YEAH, WE GOTTA GE THE REINDEER.
[TIRES SCREECH]
OH!
YOU WHAT?
ISABEL--
NO! NO, GIRL,
SAVE YOUR BREATH.
THE ISABEL EXPRESS
IS SHUT DOWN.
NO, YOU CAN'T.
OH, YES I CAN.
UNTIL YOU TELL ME
EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON.
NICK:
ISABEL--
WHAT?
LET ME SHOW YOU THIS MIRROR.
TRUST ME.
HECTOR:
YEAH, TRUST HIM, MOM.
OK.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,
THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
ISABEL:
OK, WHAT IS IT?
NICK:
WATCH.
ISABEL:
WHAT IS THAT GLOW?
OH NO, THAT'S SNOW
COMING OUT OF THAT THING!
BOY:
LOOK AT THAT!
[SURPRISED YELLS]
[BUDDY BELLOWS]
OH!
WHAT THE...
WHOSE DEER IS THIS?
[WHOOSHING]
[ISABEL SHRIEKS]
ISABEL:
OH, THAT WAS AMAZING.
OK, OK...
OH...
OH, YEAH.
OK.
WELL, LET'S NO JUST SIT HERE
LOOKING AT EACH OTHER,
PEOPLE.
WE GOT CHRISTMAS
TO SAVE.
[ENGINE STARTS]
[TIRES SCREECH]
REPORTER: WE HAVE
AN UPDATE ON THA LEAPING REINDEER THAT ESCAPED
FROM THE SAN ERNESTO ZOO
EARLIER THIS EVENING.
APPARENTLY HE'S BEEN SPOTTED
AT EBBS TREE FARM.
IT'S A LONG WAY
TO THE NORTH POLE, BUDDY.
YOU BETTER GET A MOVE ON.
HEY...
[BUDDY BELLOWS]
LITTLE DUDE--
[TIRES SCREECH]
[TIRES SCREECH]
SANDY: WAIT,
THAT'S BUCK'S TRUCK.
HE'S CHASING BUDDY.
NICK:
FOLLOW THAT TRUCK!
OK, HANG ON.
WE'RE TURNING AROUND.
NICK:
WHOA!
[TIRES SCREECH]
WHERE ARE YOU,
MY LITTLE MEAL TICKET?
[BUDDY BELLOWS]
[TIRES SCREECH]
WHY, I'M...
[BRAKES SQUEALING]
I CAN'T TAKE THIS THING
THROUGH THERE.
HANG ON.
SANDY: OK, UM,
WE'LL GO ROUND.
WE'LL GO ACROSS THE RIVER
AND DOUBLE BACK TO THE BRIDGE.
[CAR HONKS]
[FOGHORN BLARES]
[ALARM RINGS]
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
[BELL CLANGING]
OH, NO. WE HAVE TO GE TO THE OTHER SIDE.
THERE'S BUDDY!
[TIRES SCREECH]
AND THERE'S BUCK.
COME ON.
GIVE ME A HAND
WITH THIS MIRROR.
[BELL CLANGING]
[BUZZER SOUNDS]
[BUDDY GRUNTS]
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
ISABEL:
OK, COME ON, BABY.
BUDDY!
ALL:
COME ON, BUDDY! COME ON!
HECTOR:
COME ON, BUDDY!
ISABEL:
OH, COME ON, BUDDY!
COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT!
COME ON, BUDDY!
COME ON, BUDDY!
COME ON, BOY, YOU CAN DO IT.
YOU CAN FLY.
COME ON, BUDDY!
YOU CAN RUN, RUDOLPH...
BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE.
HECTOR:
NO!
BUCK... BUCK!
NO, BUCK!
NO, NO! DON'T SHOOT!
[BUDDY GRUNTS]
HECTOR:
NO!
[BUDDY BELLOWS]
BUDDY!
[SWISHING]
THAT'S NOT GOOD.
YEAH!
YEAH, BABY!
YEAH!
YEAH!
THAT'S RIGHT,
BUDDY!
HEY, NICK--
IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.
YOU NEED TO LEAVE.
YOU GOT PRESENTS
TO DELIVER.
COME ON, BABY. LET'S JUS GIVE THEM SOME TIME, OK?
WELL, WE DID IT.
WE DID.
WE DID IT.
YEAH.
SANDY, I HAVE
A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
YOU DO?
THE FIRST TIME
I SAW YOU,
I FORGOT TO BREATHE.
YOU WERE WITH BUDDY
AND YOU WERE...
YOU WERE SO SWEET AND
KIND AND GENTLE AND...
BEAUTIFUL.
AND, UH...
I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,
THAT'S IT.
SHE'S IT.
AND I LET DOWN
MY GUARD AND...
COULDN'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT YOU.
AND I THOUGHT THA IF I COULD JUST SOMEHOW
FIND A WAY TO LET YOU
GET TO KNOW ME,
THEN ME BEING WHO I AM
WOULDN'T BE SUCH A BIG DEAL.
THAT SOMEHOW
YOU COULD SEE PAST IT.
AND SEEING YOU
IN MY WORLD TONIGHT...
I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE MY WORLD
WITHOUT YOU IN IT, SANDY.
SO WHAT WOULD YOU SAY
TO COMING WITH ME?
YOU UNDERSTAND...
THE SPELL WOULD BE
ON YOU TOO.
YOU'D BE STUCK UP THERE.
YOU'D BE STUCK WITH ME.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
NICK, I CAN'T.
IT'S-- I MEAN,
THE ZOO, YOU KNOW?
YOU KNOW,
I THINK IT WOULD
FALL APAR WITHOUT ME THERE.
AND THE PEOPLE...
ALL THE ANIMALS.
RIGHT.
THEY ALL DEPEND ON ME.
AND, UM...
YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE MY LIFE,
THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME.
AND...
YOU KNOW...
YOU...
I'M...
I'M SANTA CLAUS.
YEAH.
I'M SORRY.
NO, IT'S OK.
SORRY.
IT'S OK.
I UNDERSTAND.
YOU KNOW, UM...
HECTOR'S RIGHT.
I HAVE TO GET GOING.
OK.
ISABEL: NOW THA WAS SOME CHRISTMAS.
HECTOR: HOLD ON,
THERE'S STILL ONE MORE PRESENT.
I KNOW THE LAST THING
YOU WANNA SEE IS MORE MAIL,
BUT...
IT'S NOT JEWELRY,
BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
OH BABY, COME HERE.
COME HERE. COME HERE.
THIS IS THE BEST GIF A MOM COULD WANT.
THANK YOU.
ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?
YEAH, IT SURE IS.
ARE YOU OK, HONEY?
YEAH.
UH... YEAH--
DO YOU KNOW
WHERE LORNA IS?
OH... SHE'S UPSTAIRS
IN CHESTER'S ROOM.
COME TO THINK OF IT,
SHE'S BEEN UP THERE
QUITE A WHILE.
OH.
HOPE THERE'S BEEN
NO BLOODSHED.
BYE.
ISABEL:
BYE.
[PARISIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
OH...
WOW!
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
IT'S CHRISTMAS IN PARIS.
THE MOST WONDERFUL GIF A GIRL EVER RECEIVED.
WELL, THEN I CAN DIE
A HAPPY MAN.
CHESTER, THIS IS AMAZING.
WELL, I WISH I COULD
TAKE THE CREDIT,
BUT REALLY IT WAS NICK.
NICK DID THIS?
HE SAID TO ME,
"IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE GIRL
THAT STOLE YOUR HEART TO PARIS,
"THEN YOU MUST BRING
THE CITY OF LIGHTS TO HER."
OK, OK, NOW SHOO!
I WANT TO TALK
TO SANDY.
OF COURSE.
MORE CHAMPAGNE.
MORE CHAMPAGNE.
MERCI.
AU REVOIR.
WHAT IS IT?
UM...
NICK WENT HOME.
YOU LET HIM GO?
I HAD TO.
WELL...
OH, YOU SHOULD HAVE NAILED
HIS BOOTS TO THE FLOOR.
NO, BUT SEE,
IT DOESN'T MATTER,
BECAUSE HE'S GONE NOW.
HE CAN'T COME BACK.
LISTEN TO ME, SANDY.
I KNOW.
IT'S NEVER TOO LATE.
[SIGHS]
NICK?
[SHRIEKING]
HOW CAN YOU BE HERE?
IT'S CHRISTMAS NIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW.
I WAS FLYING HOME,
NEXT THING I KNOW
I'M BACK HERE
STARING UP
AT YOUR WINDOW.
YEAH, BUT THE SPELL--
I DON'T KNOW.
LORNA:
IT'S ABOUT TIME
YOU GOT HERE.
YOU DUNDERHEAD,
SHE LOVES YOU.
YOU LOVE ME?
I DO.
I LOVE YOU.
[LAUGHING]
THAT'S NICE.
ISN'T THAT NICE?
NICK, YOU DOG.
SO, WHAT NEXT?
UM...
I WOULD LIKE TO GO
WITH NICK.
IF THE OFFER
STILL STANDS.
OFFER ALWAYS STANDS.
ISABEL:
OH, COME HERE, BABY.
LORNA:
COME HERE, HECTOR. LOOK.
BYE-BYE.
BYE, NICK.
HECTOR:
BYE, SANDY.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
BYE!
BYE!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HAVE A SAFE TRIP!
[WIND WHISTLING]
HEY, YOU KNOW,
THERE'S ONE THING
ABOUT YOUR STORY
THAT DOESN'T REALLY
MAKE SENSE TO ME.
YOU SAY THA MIRACLES HAPPEN
WHEN YOU NEED THEM TO.
SO WHY COULDN'T YOU
JUST USE A MIRACLE
TO BRING BUDDY BACK?
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?
I THINK MAYBE THIS WASN' ABOUT FINDING BUDDY AT ALL.
I THINK MAYBE THIS
WAS ABOUT FINDING YOU.
PLUS, NOW I GET TO
CALL YOU SANDY CLAUS.
UH...
[LAUGHING]
NO.
NICK:
WHOA!
SANDY:
WHOA!
NICK:
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY,
WE KNOW YOU CAN FLY.
NOW STOP SHOWING OFF.
WOO-HOO!
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
I SIT HERE WATCHING IT SNOW
LOOK AT IT BLOW
ALL AROUND THE OLD PINE TREE
IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR
WHEN EVERYONE'S DEAR TO ME