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Soft Lad (2015)
# I made a promise to the devil
# I sold my soul for peace in heaven # I lose my senses, lose my sight # I shed my skin and sin goes with it # I washed these demons from my spirit # And I can hardly hold on to these walls # So watch me go, go, go Hey, it's Jules Spence. I can't get to the phone right now so leave a message and I will endeavour to get back to you as soon as possible. Hey, it's David. I'm coming round. I got some new to tell you. I'm a mess. Look, crack open the champagne. See you soon. Hurry up. come on! Hang on, I've only just got here. - Get a move on. - What's going on? Can you not guess what day it is? Hold up, I nearly broke a heel. Who you trying to kid in them heels? You can barely walk in them, let alone run. Shut it, softlad. Why are we here? - I need to tell Jules. - What did your mum and dad say? They're at work, I'll tell them later. So what you gonna do? Are you gonna take it? Are you a crazy psycho bitch or what? Oi! Enough of your insults. I got into the best dance company in the country, in the whole of Europe, possibly even the world. Don't get carried away. Oh, this stupid door! When they gonna get it fixed? You never answered my question. You silly cow, of course I'm gonna take it! What are you going to be taking? Jules, we was... We were just looking for you. Now you've found me. Not coming in? - Drink, anyone? - No, I'm fine, thanks. David? Erm... No, thank you. So what's the new? What are you going to be taking? Go on! David, tell the man! I erm... I got in. In? Yeah. Bloody hell! He got accepted into the dance company! Ah. Well... Congratulations. - Are you not happy for me? - I just said, congratulations. Really happy for you. - Thank you. - You're welcome. - Look, erm, I'm gonna go. - No, don't go. I need to get ready, I've got to do a shift at the bar tonight. You coming with me? Erm... No. No, you go. Sorry. It's OK. I'll probably be in later for a drink. - To celebrate? - Yeah, to celebrate. - Err, Stacey? - Yeah? Goodbye. Yeah, bye. See you later. Hey, honey. What a day! Ah, that's better. Just what I need. I've had emails beeping through all day about the new summer range. Oh, I get to the school, the traffic is packed right down the high street. When I get close enough, there's nowhere to park. - Hey, princess. - Hello, Daddy. When I finally gets in there, they want to drag me in for a Q and A on how much we value the school. I mean, I love the place but oh... - How was school? - OK. Good. Steph, run upstairs, sweetheart, and get changed. Don't want to get changed. Do as you're told, please, love. Go and give your Uncle David a kiss. Oh, sorry, Jane, I've been in my own world! Oh, hey, Steph. Uncle David, Mummy's taking me to dance class today. I'm going to be a ballet dancer just like you. You won't be going anywhere if you don't go and get changed. You're gonna be much better than me, lovely. I'm so proud of you. I think we are the ones who are proud of you. - Who, me? What do you mean? - Steph, go on, upstairs. What do you mean, what do I mean? Erm, the job! The dance company you've been mithering us about for, like, the past 22 years. - How did you know? - I'll give you one clue. Blonde, big boobs, foghorn for a mouth. Stacey! She shouted at me as I was getting out of the car on the drive. David was just giving me the good new as you arrived. Congratulations, David. Thanks, Jules. Right, I err... I better get back to Mum and Dad's. Don't be silly, sweetie, you've got to stay! You've got to celebrate. We've got a couple of bottles of wine there Jules brought back from Paris. - Paris? - Yeah. He was there for work, weren't you, love? This is a special occasion. It warrants a special something. I think you're right. The wine will be perfect for this occasion. Don't you think, David? Not really up for drinking tonight. Won't hear it. You're staying. I've not even told Mum and Dad. You came to tell us first? Well, I'm honoured. Well, that's that, then. I'll get Stephanie ready for dance class. You've got approximately three hours to do what you need to do. Then I want you back here ready for a celebratory meal. Do you hear me, young man? Yeah, three hours, I heard. Three hours should be plenty of time. Well, this is all very exciting. Yes! Mwah! Why are you being like this? - Like what? - You know what. You're killing me. I came here to see you. To tell you. And you told me. Why are you being like this? David, we're cooking you dinner! No, my sister's cooking me dinner. Her husband is providing the wine. Imported from Paris! From Sainsbury's, more like. Listen, my dear boy. You go and run your errands. We'll speak later, OK? - Why not now? - You know... Boys, I'm gonna be back in an hour and a half or so, OK? - Jane, can I grab a lift? - Course you can. You ready? I need to speak to David about something. Wait five minutes. - But you just said... - Never mind what I just said. You coming? Coming? I... I just need to speak to him about something. I want Uncle David to come with us. Oh, sweetheart, no. I'm just going to talk to him for a second. But you... You go and have a great ballet lesson and we will see you later on, OK? - OK. - OK. Come on. What the fuck? What are you like? I've come to rescue you. - From what, may I ask? - Life. I'm going to whisk you away to a desert island and peel grapes for you while I suck on your toes. Jules, please! You're a little crazy, you know that? Crazy for you! What has gotten into you? What you on? Prozac? Valium? Can I have some? Not seen you like this since... Well, since when you got back from Paris. But no, my love, if it's sex that you're after, we can't! - It only takes a minute. - Calm down, Take That! - Oh, funny! - No, you're funny. We haven't had sex for over a month and now... About to hold a dinner party and you're getting all frisky on me. - No. - It's hardly a dinner party. Only your little gay brother coming round for dinner. - Jules, don't be like that! - Like what? Come on, quick, get some clothes on, will you? Well, if it isn't Carlos Acosta. Watch your eyes there, gay boy. Why's he being like that? Oh, take no notice. He's only playing. You know what he's like. Hmm. I thought I did. He's just teasing you. He's so proud of you. We all are. Mum and Dad had me on the phone for, like, over half an hour. I had to put them on loudspeaker, otherwise none of this would have been finished. They're mad. You know, it's the first time I actually believed that Dad was proud of me. Are you kidding? He's so proud of you. He's done nothing but go on about you, you and your dancing, since the time you were Dopey in Snow White when you were ten! You're all insane. - How about you? - Mm? - How do you feel? - You know, you're the err... You're the first person to actually ask me that. - That's cos I love you. - I'm good. Erm... I'm happy. Don't know, it's just... It's the start of my life, do you know what I mean? No, but I can imagine. It's what I've always wanted. - Now you've got it! - Exactly. Now I got it. - But... - No buts. You still want it, right? More than anything in the world. Well... What? - I know what that "well" means. - What? - David, I know you. - Meaning? Sweetheart, I want nothing but the very best for you. And this job, that's gonna give you that. I know. All I'm saying is, do not let anything get in the way of it. I don't know what you're talking about. Come off it! You don't fool me. Sis, I'm not trying to fool anybody. There's only one thing that can come between you and your dance. David, you're only a baby. - I'm 22! - Exactly! Men come and go. My advice? Let this one go. Can we erm... change the subject, please? Look me in the eye. Tell me you're not in love. It's OK. Who could think bad of you for being in love? Love is... Love is magical. David, when you dance, that is pure magic in itself. You've got to do this while you're young, babe. Whoever this man is, if he loves you, then he'll wait for you. Yeah. Let's change the subject. Talking about me? Thought I felt my ears burning. Believe it or not, my love, it's not always about you. I think you'll find it is. Full of it tonight, aren't you, mister? So what were we talking about then? Magic. Yeah. Magic. And if you... If you want something bad enough, it'll wait for you. Ah. I've never really been any good at magic. Didn't have to drive me. How else were you going to get there? You're hardly in a fit state to be walking the streets. You worried someone would take advantage of me? Something like that. You're not very talkative tonight. You're not saying anything I want to hear. Like what? - Sorry would be a start. - For what? If I have to tell you, you're not the man I thought you were. - Give me a clue. - I could give you a list. For treating me like shit, using me for sex. Having me lie to my whole family. Letting me fall in love with you. You're not in love with me, David. What the fuck would you know? Look, I'm sorry for not supporting your dream. OK? I really am happy for you. - Yeah, sure you are. - I am. It's just... It's what? You've got it easy. You've got all bases covered. - You think so, do you? - I know so. All the while, I'm... I'm dying inside. - Always the drama queen. - Oh, fuck you! What about me, eh? Do you think this is all fun and games for me? It's your choice to play happy families! It's not that simple! It's as simple as you want it to be. I love your sister. And what? You only like sticking your dick in me? No, Jules, is that it? You're not gay cos you've got a wife and family? Every now and then you like to stick your dick in her brother's arse? It's not that at all. I really like you, David. What do you think that weekend in the Lake District was about? I know what that weekend was about. Your chance to get your end away for a whole weekend without having to look over your shoulder every five minutes. And there was me thinking you actually cared! - I do care. - I mean, Paris? Fucking Paris! I can't believe Jane actually fell for that. Can we behave like adults for just one moment, please? You enjoyed that weekend just as much as I did. At least you can admit you enjoy it. I do... I'm sorry. OK? I'm gonna miss you. - Miss my arse, you mean. - Oh, God. No! Yes. Look, I was... Shocked, hurt, jealous. Whatever you want to call it. That's why I behaved the way I did. And I love you, Jules. That's why I behave the way I do. You're funny. I'm glad you find the humour in it all. - Clever too. - Obviously not. I'll keep saying it until you believe me. I love you. It may be stupid of me. I might be foolish. I might be a kid. I've fallen in love and it's... It's breaking me in two. I don't want you to go. Really? No. - Then I won't go. - Don't be silly, you've got to. Don't you get it? I'm prepared to sacrifice my whole life. My family. Everything I've ever cared for. If you can't see that I might as well be banging my head against a brick wall. David, what do you want from me? If you told me not to go, that you'd leave Jane... You know I can't do that. And there lies the problem. You can, you just won't. It's Jane. - Here's fine. - David... I said here's fine. - David, I do... - Jules. I get it. Thanks for the lift. Hey, it's Jules Spence. I can't get to the phone right now so leave a message and I will endeavour to get back to you as soon as possible. Baby, it's me. I'm sorry to phone you when you're driving. We're out of milk. You know what Steph's like. She loves it of a morning. Could you pick me some up, please, on your way back? And... Maybe we could erm... pick up from where we left off just before our David come round, eh? Got my apron on. And nothing but my apron. I love you. So he fucked you in her bed? OK, OK, there's no need to be so crude. I knew there was tension. I could feel my knickers getting wet just standing there. Never thought he'd do it in his own bed. Oh, I feel like shit. - I do love him. - Yeah, he's sexy. It's not just that. I don't know. He said he was being a twat cos he didn't want me to go. What, he said that? Not exactly those words but along those lines. - Do you believe him? - I don't know. - So what are you going to do? - There's nothing I can do. You could tell your sister. Oh, yeah! Nice one, Einstein. Maybe I'll publish a book about how to lose my family in five easy steps. She is your sister. Blood's thicker than water and all that. What would I say? "Oh, hi, Jane, it's David, your brother. " "Thought I'd let you know that after two years, well, on and off, I've been sucking your husband off. " Yeah, Mum would love that. - How is your mum? - She'd have a heart attack if she found out about anything like this. She thinks the world of Jules. Maybe I could throw myself under a bus. No, love. When you go, you want to look your best. Closed coffins are never a good sign. - You're sick. - I'm sick? You said it! I just think you're brave. Weekend when we went away was the first time I actually thought maybe it could work. Before that it'd been the odd mess about when he was drunk. I remember the first time it ever happened. It was at Christmas. We were having a drinking competition after Mum and Dad had gone to bed. I found him hot, yeah, but I never wanted to sleep with him. I was just so happy for Jane having found a top bloke. I guess looking back I could always tell he was a bit, well, you know, fruity. - Fru... How do you mean? - I don't know. He was just too nice and too smiley and always willing to help if I needed anything, you know. Anyway, it was me and him left and we was doing vodka shots. He stood up to go to the bathroom and he lost his footing on the carpet. He slipped and fell in my lap. We just laughed and rolled about on the floor. Then we started kissing. We joked it off after that, but at Easter it happened again. Then every holiday or celebration after that, we'd just get drunk and play the game. - What have I got myself into? - At least you're going away. That'll give you some head space. - Am I? - Yes, you are. David! You bloody well are, even if I have to drag you there myself. We've been planning this for years. - We? - You know what I mean. It's not just your dream. You've roped us all into this. We all want it just as bad as you do. You getting out of this city is like our little escape too. It's not just about you any more. No pressure, like. Honey, I'm sorry. I know, I know, it was unexpected. I'm on call. I don't like it any more than you do but I have to go into the office and sort out the mess that someone else has made. If I could come home I would, you know that. Jane, stop! Listen, it's my job! It's what pays the bills and puts food on the table. It's late, I'm tired, and the last thing I want to do right now is argue with my wife about coming home to put bloody milk in the fridge! I... I'll be home as soon as I can. OK? OK. Love you too. Four pounds, please. # DJ, turn it up # Hey, DJ, turn it up # DJ, turn it up # Everybody know me, all the bar was checking for me # You ain't got no swag, shout it # Guess that's why you're lonely # Bar is overflowing and my ice is always glowing # Got some money in this club # And tonight we've gotta blow it # I'm not your average girl # I do my own thing # Don't need your fancy cars # Don't need your diamond rings # I've got my own swag # I pay my own way # Don't want no Superman # I ain't Lois Lane # We came here to party, baby # We came here to party # Got control in my body # And the beat then got me started # Baby, put your hands up # Put your hands up # Tell the club all of us we don't give a # Cos we go wild # DJ, turn it up, DJ, DJ, turn it up - # We go wild - # DJ, turn it up # DJ, DJ, turn it up - # We go wild - # DJ, turn it up # DJ, DJ, turn it up - # We go wild - # DJ, turn it up # DJ, DJ, turn it up - # We go wild - # DJ, turn it up # DJ, DJ, turn it up - # We go wild - # DJ, turn it up # DJ, DJ, turn it up - # We go wild - # DJ, turn it up # DJ, DJ, turn it up - # We go wild - # DJ, turn it up # DJ, DJ, turn it up # We go wild # I'm a breaking down and my body go # We go wild # We go so crazy every time I hear the bass and the beat # We go wild # Our eyes all meet when I do a thing and so - # We go wild - # Ain't never gonna stop # I'm a party till the sun comes out, comes out, comes out David here, you know what to do. David, it's your mum. You didn't come home last night. Look, sweetheart, I'm not checking up on you cos I know you don't like that. I don't like that. So I hope you know I'm not doing that. I just... I want to see you're OK. We can't have anything happening to those prize feet, can we? We need you in one piece to start work come September. Give me a call, my love, as soon as you get this. Please. I love you. Hey, babe, listen, everyone's going crazy. I've had your mum and dad on at me. Even Jules has been on trying to find out where you are. Apparently you're not picking up your phone so they've asked me to try. I haven't told them I saw you leave with that guy. I don't want to get them worried, but the longer I keep it from them, the more I put myself in the shit. Give me a call as soon as you get this. We're all worried here. Love you. - Tea? - Erm, yeah. No, erm... Sorry. What's your... Erm... I'm Sam. - Sorry. - There's no need to be. I made you a cup anyway. - Thank you. - You OK? Yeah, why? You look like a rabbit caught in headlights. No, I'm fine. It's just... Got a load of voice messages from home. They're not used to me staying out this late. They think I've been kidnapped or something. You wouldn't realise I was 22. Who says you haven't been kidnapped? - Well, have I? - Maybe. How's about we pick up from where we left off last night? I don't think I've got the energy. You had plenty of energy last night. I think I had a little help! - What was that you gave me? - I gave you? No, no, no, no. From what I remember, you snatched it from me. - What was it? - Methadrone. Methadrone? Never heard of it. - And a little bit of coke. - Cocaine? Don't sound so shocked. - I'm not. It's just... - Never done it before? Oh, so you're not just a sex virgin? Alright, there's no need to be like that. There's no need to be ashamed. I was a virgin till I was 22. I'm not ashamed. Who told you I was a virgin, anyway? You did. Oh, God, I can't remember a thing. Oh, thanks! No, don't worry. I was as gentle as I needed to be. I didn't want your first experience to be a bad one. I guess I needn't have worried now. What else did I say? It was cool, it was all good. We had fun. You should let me refresh your memory. - Were we...? - What? Were we safe? - I always play safe, buddy. - Thank God! But you're a virgin so we're cool. We used a condom, right? I always use condoms usually, but we didn't have any. Oh, fuck! We were in the moment and you said it was OK. Remember? That's when you told me. That's why we did it. Look, don't worry. I'm negative and I promise you I always use condoms. I got tested last month. Plus I... pulled out before... Are you gonna get that? Are you avoiding someone? I just don't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Well, they obviously want to speak to you. Maybe you should answer that. - Hello. - Address? - Sorry? - Address. Look, I'm OK. I said give me the fucking address. I'll text it you. That was short and sweet. What? Is everything alright? Yeah. Good. What's your address? 117 Belvedere Road, flat 2. 117 Belvedere? - Are you OK? - Yeah. Fine. It was Jules. - Your boyfriend? - No. My dad. I've got to go. Yeah. No worries. I'm sorry. Like I said, no worries. I put my card in your jeans just in case... Just in case I want more drugs? I'm a banker, not a drug dealer. - Isn't that the same thing? - Alright, smart arse. No. Just in case you want to come back. You don't even know me. I know enough to know I'd like to get to know more. Oh, yeah? How many times have you used that line? Oh. Where's all this coming from all of a sudden? Nothing. I'm sorry, I'm not used to this. Look, I'm not a player. I'm too old for all that. I just say it how I see it. What do you see in me? Have I not made that obvious? I guess so. Thank you. For what? I don't know. Just thank you. For treating me like a human being. - What? - Nothing. I'm being silly. - You're cute. - Thanks. And sexy. - You think so? - I know so. - I wish I could stay. - You're more than welcome to. I can't. Well, I'll be here. Like I said, any time. Right. Any time. I might just take you up on that. You just do that. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I have to get ready. That'll be him. Hm-hm. Your dad. I'll get your jeans. Yeah. My dad. - Drop me here. - I'm dropping you at the door. Suit yourself. - Do you think that was clever? - Excuse me? Going home with a stranger. To be honest, Jules, it's none of your business. - Guess you're right, it's not. - I'm a grown man. I'm 22. And I'm single. I can do whatever I want. Next time at least phone your mother. Thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind for next time. You're going to see him again? As I said, Jules, it's none of your business. # So tell me what you're doing to me # I'm going out of my head # This burning inside of me # You got a hold on me bad # I don't wanna run away from you # Everything about you tells me to # Look me in my eyes and say it # I need to hear it # Those little words I crave # Cos when you touch me # When you leave me # Oh, you kill me # So let's go round again # Hold on tight again # Gonna rush for you again # Tell me once again # So let's go round again # Let the sun kiss away all the rain # And the light shine through the vein # Say those words again # Again # Can you feel my heart beat? # Put your hands on my chest # It's running from me # See, words are no good # They always fail me # My mind overloads # Whenever you call my name # So put your lips on my lips # And forget who we are # Let's go right back to the start # Let's go round again # Hold on tight again # Feel the rush going through you again # Tell me once again # So let's go round again # Let the sun kiss away all the rain # And let the light shine through the vein # Say those words again, again What a lovely couple! You show me one more picture of you and Sam... - It's you and me, soft arse. - Ah! I always thought you and me would end up together. - For the last time, I'm gay. - You know what I mean. Living together. Do you think me and Sam'll end up living together? Not this again. You've only known him two minutes. - Two months. - And now you're in love. Five minutes ago you wanted to run away with your sister's husband. - Why are you being like this? - I'm not! But you can't just keep jumping from one thing to the next. And I can't keep running after you, picking up the pieces. Where's all this come from? I just feel like I've been putting my life on hold following your dream, and I always thought it'd be you and me moving to London and we'd carry on the same as ever. Stace, I love you, that'll never change. Sam isn't some rebound. This is it for me. What about when he finds out about Jules? That's never going to happen. I'm going back to college. Going to finish my hairdressing course. Good. Come to London. Yeah, that was my first thought. But then I got this place. Needed to do something for me. Jane's invited us to dinner next week. Hm. You should go. Us. Meaning you too. - No, you're OK, thanks. - Oh, come on. Knowing what I know? You know me, two glasses of wine, God know what'd come out of my mouth. The offer's there. Where are you going? I told you. I'm going to meet... Sam. Oh, it's you. Thought it might have been David. Hardly seen him lately. You're back early. Not two o'clock yet and already it's been one of those days. Honey? - What? - Something the matter? - No. - How come you're not in work? I'm working from home this afternoon. Is that alright? - Oh, right. - What's that supposed to mean? It's not supposed to mean anything. I was just asking you, that's all. Am I not allowed to be at home at this time? - Don't be silly. - Don't call me silly. - What's got into you? - I can leave if it's a problem. - I wasn't saying that. - You didn't have to. So it's alright for you to sit around trying on clothes but the moment I want to work from home, it's an issue. I mean, I'm sorry if I'm getting in your way. - Jules, I wasn't saying that. - Then what were you saying? I wasn't saying anything. Well, maybe that's the problem. I work in fashion. I try on clothes. I write articles. I don't just sit round all day doing nothing. On top of that, I look after this house. I look after our daughter. And I don't do anything, is that it? I wasn't saying that. What's got into you? You've been like this now for weeks. I'm fine. Is there a problem at the office? No. I'm fine. OK. Well, I'm here for you if you need to talk. I know David hasn't been round here much lately. What the fuck has that got to do with anything? Don't swear at me. I just know that you... You usually share this kind of stuff with him. What are you talking about? I'm just saying I know how much you enjoy his company, that's all. God, I miss him. So I can imagine that you do. So you'll be pleased to know that I've erm... I've invited them both round for dinner next week. - Them? - David and Sam. What have you done that for? It's David's new boyfriend and I think that we should meet him. Maybe I don't want to meet him! I think we should support him. They're just fucking. How much support do they need? - Jules, what's your problem? - Next you'll want to watch! Jules! I don't want a couple of faggots in my house around my daughter. Don't you dare call my brother that! - What, a faggot? - Jules, I'm warning you. He's a big fucking queer. Oh! Jules, let go of me! Get off me, Jules! Jules! Jules! I don't fucking need this. David here, you know what to do. Stacey. Jules. Hi. What are you doing here? Err... I've been trying to get hold of David, but I don't seem to be able to find him. Do you know where he might be? Yeah. He was supposed to be meeting Sam. - So this Sam... - Yeah? Well, what do you know about him? - Not much. He's a nice bloke. - Yeah? - Yeah. And he loves David. - Loves him? Yeah. And I'm really happy for him. For them both. David's going away. Yeah, and Sam'll probably wait for him. Maybe transfer with his job. They're really happy, Jules. Really happy. I want nothing more for him. I love David like a brother. That's nice to know. - Jane and Steph? - Sorry? Just saying you must love them too. It's none of your business. See, where David's concerned, I make it my business. What are you getting at? Not getting at anything, Jules. But please, for everyone's sake, don't ruin this. - I wouldn't dream of it. - Course you wouldn't. Have a good night. I'd better be getting into work. - Are you fucking kidding me? - Language! You've never seen Grease the movie? It's not really my thing. It's quite possibly the best movie ever made! Are you laughing at me? I find it hard to believe. There's The Godfather and Pulp Fiction. - Oh! You're so straight! - Hardly! I love The Devil Wears Prada. Meryl Streep! Oh, I'll give you that one. But when it comes to musicals... - That's where I sign off. - Oh, really? Well, you'd better be signing back on, mister, because that's my future! You're gonna be in your best suit for a whole list of premieres. Cos I want you by my side. - What? - What is it? Is that your way of proposing to me? Oh, you're so stupid! No, no, no. I see what's happening here. But, baby, you're gonna have to get down on one knee. You're full of it! No, if you want to make an honest woman of me, I need you to do it right. What am I gonna tell our kids? Their father was a lunatic and had to be locked away. Now you're just chickening out. - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. - I'm not! - You are! - I'm not! - No, no, I'm done, I give in. I love you. Is it too early for that? - I love you too. - Really? Yes. So let's make it official. - Marriage? - No, softlad! I'm talking about being exclusive. I've been exclusive since we met. Yeah. Me too. So... Let's do it. We've been doing it for months. Stop using condoms. Oh. Why? Because I love you and I want to be with you. And when I'm with someone I love I just want it to be special. I know you don't remember, but our first night together was pretty intense and I don't know, it's... I hadn't felt that close to someone in a while. It'd be good to feel like that all the time. OK. Let's do it. - OK. So now we... - We... We take all precautions. - What do you mean? - Go and get tested. I thought you said you were negative. There's more things to worry about than HIV. And, you know, it's just better to be safe. Do you not trust me? I trust you with all my heart. I'm worried about myself. I haven't exactly been a saint all these years. I'm 28, remember. Not 22. OK. - Let's do it. - Let's do it. - Let's do it. All the time. - All the time! All the time. Hey, it's Jules Spence. I can't get to the phone right now so leave a message and I will endeavour to get back to you as soon as possible. Jules, it's me. Where are you? What was all that about? Look, I'm sorry if you're stressed. I know I don't always make things easier but... Can we talk about this, please? I can't help you if you won't talk to me. I love you. # They love monsters here # They love # And they're wrapped in cotton wool # In wool # Ooh # And the faces I once knew # They fade, they fade # They fade, they fade, they fade, they fade # And I walk alone Jane. I've err... I've erm... I've just got Steph off to school. I think that... Sorry. I don't know what's got into me. - It's OK. - It's not OK. You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. Jules... What's happening to us? Is it... something I've said? Or something that I've done or something that I haven't done? It's not you, it's me. It's not you, it's me. Right, OK, I see. I didn't mean it like that. Jane, I do love you. Do you, Jules? Do you really? Or just love the idea of me? This, like, image, the perfect family? - I try my best, Jules. - I know. Sometimes I try too hard, I know, I'm aware of that. Make a nice house for you. For us. I give you as much love as I possibly can give. I make sure that you want for nothing. I cook. I clean. I don't know what else there is that I can do. Jules, is this it? Is this what? Is this how we're gonna be? Or... Are we over? No. Is there someone else? Is there, Jules? Of course not. Jules, if there is then you've got to tell me. We don't have sex any more. You're always working late. Jules, if there's someone else, please, you must tell me. I love you but... I won't let you make me a fool. Jane, you're not a fool. I'm sorry. I... It's just... It's work. Just... Late nights. Early mornings. Erm... Stressed. Tired. Then why don't you talk to me about it? I'm here for you, Jules. Why don't you just let me in? It's not that easy. Why not, Jules? Why not? I'm not very good at talking about how I feel. I'm ashamed. Weak, I guess. But I promise I will try to be better. I don't want to be like this. I just want us to go back to how we used to be, just you, me and Steph. Please. Will you give me another chance? Please. If not for us, then for Steph. No. If we're gonna do this, then we do it for us. I'm not having our daughter being used as an excuse. OK. For us. # When I was close to the edge # But I dove head first # And now that I'm in # I'm close to the end of my life # But I don't want you to save me # Don't come to my rescue, no, not this time # I'll give in before it takes me # Before it takes a hold of you and I # I can't find the answers # Make the right decisions # So I'm searching # Seeking some... David here, you know what to do. Hello, this is a message for Mr Henderson. It's Dr Jackson from the men's sexual health clinic. We'd like you to come in and discuss your results, please, at your earliest convenience. Thank you. Hey, you're through to Sam's phone. I'm either at work or in the gym. Leave a message and I'll get back to you asap. Hey, babe, it's me. Err, listen... Jane just called me and, well, she said can we make it another night for dinner. Something's come up. I'm erm... I'm running round there now to look after Steph for the evening. And I'll call you later to explain. I... I love you. And erm... Oh, it doesn't matter. Speak later. Jules! Jules, can you give me a hand, please? - What's wrong? - Can you open the wine? You called me in here to open the wine? I'm just finishing off here. It's red wine. I want it to breathe before we drink it. - Talk about lazy! - Are you kidding me? Can you not smell the delights that I'm cooking up for you? Oh, I'm so excited. Hurry up! David's gonna be here soon. Honey, just so you know, I may have to pop out later on. Promised the office I'd go in and do a conference call with some clients in the US. - Again? - Yeah. Sorry. Jules, I told you about this last week. I've given you enough notice. This is important to David. I'm here, aren't I? I'm not rushing off. I'm just saying at some point, I may need to pop out. So don't be surprised. Hey, sweetheart! Where's Sam? Sweetheart? Erm, he's coming after work. Oh! I thought you would have come together. That was the plan, yeah. Wanted to come a little earlier. Doesn't finish till seven. I couldn't wait. It's seven now. - Are you alright? - What? - You look a little... - Frazzled. I suppose you could say that. David, what's the matter? Is everything OK with you and Sam? Yeah, yeah. Fine. I just... I'm just tired of everything. What do you mean by that? To be honest, I... I don't know. David, come on, sit down. Take the weight off your feet. I've just got to run to Mum's with Steph's pyjamas. - I won't be long, OK? - Yeah. - Sure you're alright? - Fine. You go. OK. Honey, keep an eye on the oven for me. Should be OK but just in case Mum gets me gabbing. Sure. So, how are you? Getting better. I feel like I've not seen you... Eight weeks. No, you haven't. You've been counting too. I've missed you. - Really? - Yeah. I've missed you so much. Missed my arse, you mean. I'm sure you kept yourself occupied. David! I'd say I missed you too, Jules, but... it's been the best eight weeks of my life. - I'm happy for you. - Are you? - Are you really? - Yes. I want you to be happy. You've got a funny way of showing it. David, some things in life aren't so black and white. I know it's a clich but... sometimes you don't know what you've got... Till it's gone. Yeah. I know that one really well. I love you. Please. I do. It's... It's taken me a long time to admit it but I... - I love you. - No, Jules. Don't say anything you might regret. My whole life is turning into one big regret. I'm ruining Jane's life. I love her but... I'm in love with you. Well, it's a little bit late for that now. Is it? Is it really? Yes. Yes, it is, Jules. You've made my life hell. Not only have you led me on, you've lied to... No, we've lied to my whole family. My sister, who I'm supposed to love. I can't believe I've been so selfish. I'm willing to come clean. How long have you known you were gay? Where's that come from? How long have you been sleeping with men? - I only ever slept with you. - Don't lie to me, Jules. - How long? - I'm not lying. How long have you been sleeping with men? David, I don't know what you're talking about. I wasn't the first person you slept with. I probably wasn't the second or the third. I probably wasn't even the last. I should have guessed it. You're too good to be true. I mean, a public schoolboy, of course you experimented. Now you're just being childish. How many? I don't know what you're talking... - I've got HIV, Jules. - What? - Human immunodeficiency virus? - I know what it means. - And I got it from you. - You got it from me? Are you gonna repeat everything I say? David, stop playing games. I know I've hurt you... This is hardly some revenge tactic, Jules. This is my life I'm talking about! I'm being deadly serious! When did you find out? I was tested. - And Sam? - Sam's negative, I'm positive. And the only other person that I've slept with or had sexual relations with is you! How many? I don't know. Maybe... Four. Maybe five. Were they all unprotected like you and me? - David, please. - I need to know. You've sentenced me to death. Not just me but Jane and Steph. No... No, it can't be. I... When did it start? The first time was... ...when Jane was pregnant with Steph. How do I know you're not lying about that as well? I promise. I wouldn't lie when it comes to my daughter. Thank heavens for small mercies! So it's just me and Jane you've infected. David, you can't blame me for what happened between us. I don't blame you. I take full responsibility on my part in this. I fucked up and I'm willing to admit that. But I can blame you for being reckless. For being selfish. For... Not considering other people's safety while fucking around! I have to live my actions and their repercussions and so do you. Poor Jane! - You're going to tell her? - No! I'm not! You are! Do you want me to get that? No. No. Are you expecting someone? Not that I can think of. Only Sam. Jules, I'll get... Sam. Hi. Come on in. David? Sam, err... What are you doing here? Am I interrupting something? Looks like you guys are getting ready for dinner. Sam, I can explain... We are getting ready for dinner. We were waiting for you. - Oh, really? - Sam, look... Oh, hi, Sam. I'm... I'm Jules. It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. Hello. Erm... This is a little strange because I got a message saying that dinner was cancelled. Baby, please, I can explain. Erm... Anyone would think you didn't want me to meet your family. No, it's not it at all, it's just... It's all a lot more complicated. - So you've not told him? - Oh, shut up, Jules. Have you not done enough? What does he mean by that? Look, I can't really... I can't really talk right now. - I just need a moment. - You want me to go? No, come on, David. You come here with guns blazing. Fill him in. You would not believe what's just happened to me! I just... Oh! You must be Sam! Oh, I'm so pleased to meet you! David has told me all about you. - So I've heard. - Look at you! You're even more handsome than your pictures on Facebook! Thank you. What are we all doing here? Come on, come through! Jules, have you not fixed these boys a drink? No. No, they were in the middle of telling me something. - Sam, please. - Really? What? It doesn't matter. You're back. I assume it had something to do with the emergency. Emergency? Sam, I told you, I can explain. Explain? Explain what? Explain what, Jules? David left me a voicemail earlier saying that dinner had been cancelled and that he was coming over to baby-sit. And I thought I'd come round and keep him company. Why would you say that? Because I needed to see you both alone. - The purpose of tonight... - I needed to... I wanted to come clean. I wanted Jules to confess to what he's done. And what we've both done. No, Jules, I've had enough! I can't do it any more! David, what on earth are you talking about? Are you going to tell her? Tell me what, Jules? Tell me what? Jane, I've not been totally... David and I... Erm... You've what, Jules? We've been having an affair. Is this some sort of joke? We've been sleeping together. You and your brother-in-law, yeah? - Sleeping together? - For about two years. - For two years? - On and off. Oh, that's alright then! No! We didn't mean for it to happen. I don't believe I'm hearing this. So this is why you don't want me here? No, no, it's... It ended before I met you. There's erm... - There's something else. - Oh my God! What else? Are you going to tell me you're pregnant? No. I've got... I've got HIV. What? I think I got it from Jules. When did you find this out? This morning. So you have HIV and you think you got it from Jules? No, I know I got it from him. Sam's the only other person I've slept with. He doesn't have it! Jane... Don't you dare come anywhere near me! Don't you even speak to me! Jules... Jules, how could you? And then... And lie to me? Bare-faced lie to my face! - Jane... - I asked you! I asked you was there anybody else. I gave you the chance to be honest with me! There wasn't... David and I, we've been over for months. - That is no excuse! - I know. So... Hang on a minute. You gave it to David so that means... Oh, my God! Me. Me and Steph. Who else have you been sleeping with? Jules, Jules, do not ignore me! Who else? You've got no right to keep this from me! You put my life in danger and you want to play all coy now? Who else, Jules? - There have been others, yes. - How long? I don't know. You're telling me that you're gay after seven years? - Why on earth did you marry me? - I didn't know I was gay. You've been sleeping with men! How could you not know? It wasn't until David I started having feelings... I mean... It was... It was just sex! I don't believe... I don't believe that I am hearing this! And you! You! Every night in my house! Eating my food and all the time you were sleeping with my husband! Jane, it wasn't like that! It was a drunken mistake. For two years? A drunken mistake? That is one big mistake! David, if I never see you again as long as I live, it would be too soon! Jane, I'm sorry. Yeah, so am I. I'm a very sorry, sorry woman. The hospital have given me a card. They want you to make an appointment. Get out of my house! Get out of my house now before I throw you out! - I'm sorry! - Go! Come on. You... Get upstairs and pack your bags! Oh, my God. # I will leave you lonely, I will # Ooh David here, you know what to do. David! It's your mum. Jane's just been around. I can't believe it! I don't wanna believe it. She said you've got... She said you've got HIV. Oh, David. David, you're my son and I can't help but love you. But this... This is bigger than me or your father can handle. You... You and Jules. How... How could the pair of you do that? How could you do that to your own sister? To Steph? Please come home, David! Please... Please come home. So you lied to me. Lied to everyone. - I'm sorry. - Yeah, I bet you are. I bet you didn't expect this. I try not to have expectations. They only lead to disappointment. Although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit disappointed right now. Your sister's husband! Fuck! You say you love her but... No, I can't get my head around it. It's just... That's pretty fucking selfish. I thought I was in love. It's funny the things you do in the name of love. By the time I realised, it was too late. Because it's just a question of trust. - You say you love me. - I do love you. Look how you treat the people you love. Sam, please! If I had the chance to do it again don't you think I would? David, I'm not trying to hurt you, but put yourself in my shoes. - My life's over. - No, it's not. You'll still be joining the company, you'll still be able to dance. Work is the last thing on my mind at the moment. Yeah, but that's your dream and that's what you always wanted. It's what I thought I always wanted. In an instant, my life's changed. The one thing in life that is certain is that nothing,... ...nothing is certain. And that one day we're going to die. - Sooner than I expected. - Stop it. People with HIV live long and healthy, normal lives. I've gone from having everything, friends, family, a boyfriend that loves me, to having nothing. You've still got me. - You joking? - No. - But you just said... - David. I still love you. We all make mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others. I put your life at risk. I slept with my sister's husband. You didn't know you were putting me at risk. You weren't having an affair with Jules when you were with me. Do you still want to be with him? - No! - Then what? I've got HIV! Baby, you're not the first person in the world to have it. And you're not going to be the last. I've dated guys with HIV before. I mean, Christ, in London it's almost the fucking norm. Just means we have to be safe. You deserve better than me. You're a good guy. And you made a mistake. It doesn't make you a bad person. So long as you learn from it you don't keep making the same mistakes. Don't lie to me. I love you. I love you too. I thought you'd moved out. Just come to pick up the last of my things. - Is Jane home? - Yeah. David... - Come to pick him up? - No. I've come to see you. I'll leave you to it. Don't rush off on my behalf. I'm off to the hospital. Right. Take care of yourself. I'll try. I thought I told you I didn't want to see you again. I know. David, I've got to go. I've got more tests. - Jane, I'm sorry. - Yeah. Yeah. So you said. I've already told you, I just can't be around you right now. You're my sister. Yeah, yeah, I am. - For Stephanie's sake... - How is she? She's OK, thankfully. And you? David, I've got to go. Jane, please, I've got to know! Do you? Do you really? Why? Why do you need to know? To ease your conscience? To make you feel that little less sorry? I'm sorry, too, David. I can't give you that peace of mind. I'm struggling to hold together what's left of my sanity. I'm trying to piece together something of the sham of a life I thought that I had. I'm positive too, David. Yeah. Just like you. Nothing like keeping it in the family, eh? Does that make you feel any better? If you don't mind, softlad, I've things to do. # I made a promise to the devil # I sold my soul for peace in heaven # I lose my senses, lose my sight # I shed my skin and sin goes with it # I wash these demons from my spirit # And I can hardly hold on to these walls # So watch me go, go, go # He pulled me back into the shadows # I lost my wings, I lost my halo # Although I tried and tried # The devil kept me blind and deaf # I shed my skin and sin goes with it # I washed these demons from my spirit # And I can hardly hold on to these walls # So watch me go # My mind's made up and I am ready My heart is heavy # I can't keep walking in circles # With my head up in the clouds # My freedom # My mind's made up and I am ready # My mind's made up and I am ready My heart is heavy # I can't keep walking in circles # With my head up in the clouds # My freedom # My mind's made up and I am ready |
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