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Somersault in a Coffin (1996)
We'll sell the fish to the restaurant.
There wasn't much this morning. I will be in the restaurant. Mahsun! Are we going to the fish market? Not much fish this morning. We're here. Raki or cognac? Mahsun, off you go. Sari...hey, Sari! Wake up. -I got it man. Let's sleep on the boat. -Nah! I will be in the boathouse. It's freezing there. It's right in the middle of .... Well, Reis makes a lot of fuss. -What kind of fuss? Don't you remember what he did last time? He hurts people when he's cross with them. He says ''Don't sleep on my boat''. -Don't take his words seriously. What did he say the other day? You smartass! Either talk or get the fuck off! Go sleep at a construction site. Wake up! Where is the BMW, jerk? Which BMW? -Don't pretend you didn't or.. I'll kick your ass! -I didn't do anything. I swear! If you didn't steal then who did? Tell me! Where's the BMW? I'll crush your head. Tell me! I didn't steal it. Tell me! -I was at the coffee house. I didn't steal the BMW! Sorry to disturb you, but it's an important case. Yes! -You know Mahsun. Was he at the coffee house tonight? Yes. Sari, Sari... Hey! Sari! Get up! Wake up! We've got a car! -Leave me alone! Get up! Sari, get up! -Why should I, man? Get up! A car! -What do I care? You asshole. You'll get frozen! -I won't! Fuck off! Do as you like. Go to hell! My boss... My boss ran over the dog. Was it a car? Did you run over the dog? -Yes! I mean no! My boss did. Hold on a second pretty girl! Let's examine your eyes. I guess we will need an X-ray. Where did the dog get hit by the car? I mean your boss... Mr. Ahmet! Ahmet! Did you steal a car? Hey! Now you are in deep shit! It was cold! The Police was looking for you and Sari. When? -Not more than half an hour ago. Where's Sari? -I don't know! Weren't you together? Sari! Sari! Sari! Settle all your accounts with him and leave him in peace. May he rest in peace! Zht! -Mahsun, it's me, man! We are at the shore! We lit a fire! For Sari! I came to take you. Did you bury him? I better not come. The Police is looking for me. Reis said they would not bother you today. We informed.. the police about Sari's death. Listen to me, knucklehead! I won't come. -This is ridiculous! I'd better not come! -We've talked to the police. This place is better! This dog took Sari Kemal to construction sites many times. When our late friend got pissed, this dog would lead him.. to a place he could spend the night. Are you hungry? Shall we buy you bread? But he'd be around only when Sari was dead drunk. Reis, this is my turn. -Right! He wouldn't follow.. him at other times. -You understand us, don't you? Tell me, tell me you do! Do you really understand.. when we can't make it home? I wonder how he grasps it. I mean, when you pretend to.. be drunk would he figure out you're pretending? Definitely, at once! -How come? If your breath smells booze and if you're swaying about.. he'd think you're drunk. Animals have... what was it called? Sixth sense? -That's it! Sari once woke up in a Sivas Kangal's kennel. The dog did not hurt him, did not even touch him. Bullshit! -Dogs see the world different. They both have a sixth sense and they see black and white. What has that to do with sensing a drunkard? In some cold regions, dogs have a barrel of booze around their.. necks so that when people drink it they don't get frozen. The dog comes and finds them no matter how far they are. Your contributions please. -How can a dog carry a barrel? Gentlemen, your contributions! -Well, it's only this big! So what? -Ask if there is stale bread. As if the dog is a mobile pub! You idiot! White wine. And also stale bread if you have any. Mahsun, we've heard that you started practising your art. This is the file when we were fed up with Mahsun's case. Let me tell you something: I got tired of beating him. He didn't get tired of being beaten. I got sick of jailing him. He didn't get sick of jail. The wardens, the prosecutors, the judges, the whole country.. is fed up with his case! But not him! The officers, the superiors, the guardians, they all got tired. Even the psychologists got bored. Here! This is the.. document that claims he's mentally disturbed! And here they say he is not. Yes! The doctors.. the clinics are all sick and tired of this case. But not him. Do you know whose car he stole this time? Somebody important? -The car belongs to the.. councilor of the Ministry of Domestic Affairs. And he had.. the audacity to bring and park the car where it originally was. Tell me something new! -Take care of that jerk! -Difficult! -Am I speaking Chinese here? We're in the papers. Everybody is watching those.. 'Are the Police Sleeping?' programs on TV. Take good care of him. -I already have a son. I don't want another one. -Isn't Mahsun working for you? No! -He goes fishing with you. He is not my man! -Do you pay him or not? It's nothing really. -Let's not play with words! Mahsun is with you! -I can't. Just warn him, he'll stop stealing. Well, but I.. -Just press him hard. I can't. -It's for your own benefit to.. co-operate. Look at this! An ambulance! A fire-brigade vehicle! Can you imagine? He stole a fire-brigade car! Bastard! He may try to smuggle heroin into your boat. I don't understand. -If we ever search your boat.. you'd be bogged down. I want you to co-operate. Mahsun! Mahsun, have some pastry. The coffee house, you owe them much money? How much? -500.000 Turkish Liras. For how long? How long you haven't paid them anything? Two months. -Two? Three. -Is Zeki making fuss? He kicked Sari out of the coffee house once. Cheap bastard! Tell Zeki. Tell him ''Reis will settle my account next week.'' You can stay at the coffee house until they close then. At nights sleep in the boathouse or in a construction site. But don't sleep on the boat. The police, been on top of their.. agenda for a long time. Let some time pass. Within a couple of months winter will be over! You won't feel cold any more. Before the siege of Istanbul the Ottoman Sultan Mehmet.. The Conqueror had built the Rumeli Hisari fortress.. and I'm standing right in front of it now. After the construction of the fortress, Fatih decreed the.. fortress to be full of peacocks which were brought from Iran. In those days, it was widely believed in the Ottoman Empire.. that peacocks were a symbol of affluence, fertility and.. goodness against evil. But after Fatih Sultan Mehmet died.. the peacocks at the fortress gradually disappeared. Finally during the reign of Yavuz Sultan Selim.. Fatih's grandson, sources do not refer to peacocks any longer. However, the Rumeli Hisari Fortress is going to welcome.. peacocks again centuries after Fatih's death. The Iranian President has made a gift of fifty peacocks to our.. president, Sleyman Demirel. They'll contribute a unique.. flavour to the historically impressive atmosphere of the.. Rumeli Hisari Fortress as of this week. The peacocks are.. now await you to visit them at the Rumeli Hisari. We strongly suggest you to visit the Rumeli Hisari Fortress. Because here, you will be enjoying history alongwith.. the magnificent view of the Bosphorus. How was it? -We're going to start with the.. history. A bit faster! -All right. I said historically.. instead of historic. -That's OK. Apart from the.. tempo it's all fine. -My hair got wet. Forget it. -We'll miss the day light. Let's shoot the rest in the fortress. Come on brother. Nothing to see. ''Modern life makes us all alike.'', that part? Yes! Come on everybody! Before the sun sets. Where are you going, buddy? -Into the fortress. It's forbidden! -What? It is forbidden. I'll look at the animals. -You have to buy a ticket. I know the fortress. I will look at the birds. It's forbidden to enter the fortress without a ticket. But we used to enter this place. -It's forbidden now. It wasn't before. -Past is past. As you will remember, the peacocks that will.. accommodate the fortress from now on were received as a.. gift by our president during his visit to Iran. Gentlemen! We're closing. We are watching it. -They were just about to show.. us the fortress. -Turn it on, come on! It's late. We will sweep the floor. Watch it at home. I'm sick of it. It's always the same. What did you have? -Four cups of tea. Here, this is your change. Why are you waiting? Are you going to pay or what? -Next week. Next week? Which next week? -Next week. How many cups of tea have you had? Five? No, six. -It's been this way for months. Reis will pay my debts. -Reis will pay your debts? You piece of scum. It's written here, you owe me six hundred cups. Will Reis pay for your six hundred cups? Reis told me to tell you this. -Go now! Tomorrow, or.. latest next day, pay your debt. Or you can't come here again. You will be wandering in the street like a stray dog. Which coffee house would allow a customer to have.. six hundred cups of tea for free? Tell me, which one? A hot dog, and a pack of cigarettes. I want mustard and sauce too. -We're out of mustard. Is the soccer game over? -Yes! What's the score? -2 to 1. Look! Oh boy! No smoking here, please. You have to take this three times a day. One in the.. morning, one at noon, and one in the evening. I'm drawing three lines here so that you understand. Don't take too much or you'll be high. You know Avarel. He hangs out in Bebek. He's always with a dwarf. He has a thin moustache and a big nose... He stutters. -Yes! He stammers. What about Avarel? -He took this and he thought.. he was a blank note-book, with a man's head. Was he a legal pad or a plain one? Give me that. -Beat it! You shark! I have no business with pills, I'll look and give it back. Ask Mahsun. -Mahsun, don't give. Don't let him. -Will you give? My boy. Of course he won't. This is for the six hundred cups of tea Mahsun drank. You know me. I get furious all of a sudden, but I forget it soon. I kicked him out of here a few days ago. He was beaten by.. the police that night. But he invites the trouble himself. Do him a favour. He could clean the windows or.. sweep the floor. He can sleep in a corner at night. Do him a favour, man! -He can come and stay here.. until the coffee house is closed. He can even have free tea. But I cant't let that bum work here! Come on Zeki! All he needs is a bowl of soup and shelter. If somebody will work for me, someone else whom I trust.. should go bail for him. Does that sound sensible? There are men to bail for and there are men for whom you.. simply don't. Sorry. Did I spill it on you? It's OK. -Leave it that way. Listen. Let's get him jailed, then he can stay there until April.. and he can find food for free. -None of the prisons admit him. What does that mean? -Last time he robbed the prison. No shit! I don't believe that! -It's true. I won't hire him, man. Did he steal the transportation.. car for the prisoners? -Worse than that. Malik! Where are you, son? I was looking for cotton wool. It must be somewhere here. Mahsun will stay here. -How're you doing, brother? Help him settle. I'm in the room. The flush doesn't work. -Zeki will find a plumber. You got it so soon. I'll get the cologne. Ogn passes the ball into the penalty area. Ericson tackles him. The national squad constantly.. attacks the Swedish side. Now it's Oguz. Oguz passed the ball to Osman. Osman dribbles. He's in the penalty area. Passes the ball back to Oguz. Oguz is likely to score. He shoots. And he did it. Goal! He did it! We're 1-0 ahead. Tonight is our night, this is the Turks' glorious night... Off to the streets. Turkey! Turkey! Europe, Europe, listen to the footsteps of the Turks. Turkey! Are you doing the laundry at this hour? Don't you have eau de cologne? -No! Why don't you get some, son? -We'll get it tomorrow, ma'm. You handle money alright, why don't you buy some cologne? Do buy some. -Thank you. No need for that. -Miss! This is yours! -Mine? You forgot this yesterday. I was thinking.. -Will you be here from now on? Yes. You work at the coffee house. -I'm in charge of the restrooms. Did they give you a bed? -Yes. Upstairs? -Yes! So you don't sleep in boats anymore. Wouldn't you get bribes if you were in power? I would. But not billions. -So you accept it. No, I don't. There is an extent to which one should.. accept bribes. -There is no such extent. Power corrupts. -You're bullshitting! You talk as if you have been a prime minister. Come on, talk! We were just chatting. I was thinking about buying booze and going to Sari's grave. If we could go together. All of his friends. I got raki, nuts. And wine. It's cold, but I thought it would be good if we go. Cologne? No! Well, maybe. In fact I was going to.. -What? .. ask you for a favour. -What? I was going to ask if you could write 'men' and 'women' on.. the doors of the bathrooms. It's a bit confusing like this. Find a pen! I will. -A pen? Look. Do you have cotton wool here? -Cotton wool? Very little would do. -I'll ask if there is any. A pen and cotton wool! I'm coming. Is there any cotton wool? -What are you talking about? They need it downstairs. -No cotton wool here. Ask Zeki. Cotton wool. Will you be here permanently from now on? I will. -Do you make the tea too? I'm in charge of here. -Did they give you a bed? Yes! -That's good. Well, not bad. -I sometimes envy. I'm in a worse situation than you are. What do you mean? -You have a room! Don't you have anywhere to sleep? I do and I don't. I stay at my friend's place. So do I. But friends are good. -I sometimes dream of a place.. of my own! I could sometimes do.. My friends are not always at home. You can visit us sometimes if you like. When you can't.. find your friends. -Upstairs? Is that possible? -Why not? Impossible. -It may be raining, snowing. Or if you can't find a bus or when you don't have any.. money, don't hesitate. -No such thing! We have plenty of beds here anyway. But I may have my friends with me. I'm not sure about friends, but you can sometimes... I mean not every night but you know... If it is only every now and then, Zeki would let us.. sit at the coffee house. This is the room. That's the key. Come any time you like. Bring along your friends. You better not. But if you do, don't let Zeki see it. He's not in your crew, he's not your buddy, nor is he a relative. Why are you trying to protect him? How many? -I don't have sugar in my tea. My father was a taxi driver. In the middle of the night.. at three or four o'clock, he had to drive along a narrow road. This is twenty years ago. It was a very dark street! The street was so narrow that only one car could pass! There was a table in the middle of the road! And a man at the table. Do you know what he was doing? He was having tripe soup. Garlic, vinegar and pepper.. was there on the table. -Your father must have come.. across a circus! -A real dinner table. My father got out of the taxi and asked the man.. 'What are you doing? ' The man didn't reply. He just drew his gun and bang! That's why everytime.. I go into a narrow street and.. I see a man drinking soup.. at a table, I take the reverse gear. Mahsun! Mahsun, where are you, son? Hello Mahsun, how are you? -Hello. How is your work? -Fine Reis. How are you? How is everything? -Well. It's always the same. There is an old shirt on the boat. Come and get it. I'll come shortly. -You can't find us in an hour. As soon as I finish sweeping, I'll come. Take this. You may need it to buy medicine. No. I'm fine. -Come on, you may need it. You've misunderstood me. I didn't do it for money. You're ill. Take this. -No, I won't. Here is the key and the money! I could only take you. I'm sorry for separating you.. from the others. I wish I could take you all away. But they won't let me. They never let me do anything any more. You drunken bastard! -What's up, asshole? What's up? -God damn you! Come. Mahsun! Mahsun! Mahsun! Take me to Taksim. Get the fuck out of here! -Take me. I'm begging you to take me! -Those friends of yours take.. you to Taksim! Go and ask them! Take me to Taksim. -Leave me alone! Go away. -I have to go to Taksim. I have no money. -Take your money. No! -Take your money back.. and fuck off! -I have to go. You've cheated me, you slut! Fuck off! Don't come! Mahsun, hurry! Mahsun hurry! Hurry! You wait for me in the car. Come on, wake up! Wait. You wait here. Have you heard the joke about two Laz snakes? No, I haven't. -Two Laz snakes were creeping.. along a street. One asks the other 'Temel, are we.. venomous or something? The other snake replies.. 'Yes, why are you asking? ' 'I've just bit my tongue. ' How did you steal the boat? -I didn't. You didn't? Then you got permision to take it. From whoever the owner is. Whose boat was it? Someone who hired this man on his boat. How did you crash? -I don't know. Everything seemed to be normal, then the boat.. started to shake and another boat came to rescue us. How is the girl? -The girl is fine. Really? -She's having an operation. What's her name? -I don't know. Didn't you know her before? -I did. You bloody rascal! Shouldn't I kill you on the spot? You bastard! Son of a bitch! You ruined me! Shouldn't I kill you! Shouldn't I tear you down to pieces! Son of a bitch! How're you doing? -Hello. Why don't you creep into the coffee house? Zeki. -Zeki kicked us out. Recently, huh? -Was it a week ago? Five days ago. -So it was five days ago. Such a long time. Where did you sleep last night? In a construction site. You? -Me too. The one up the road! We were in the one next to the mosque. If you have money, buy some cognac. If I had, I'd buy you the whole shop. Hi, do you have any stale bread to spare? Thanks. You pimp! What did you do? Are you going to ruin us? Do you want me to lose my job? Come here! Don't run! Come here! That's my job! Bastard! Son of a bitch! And here's a news from Istanbul. Mahsun Spertitiz.. who strangled and tried to eat one of the peacocks that were.. a gift from President Sleyman Demirel to the Rumeli Hisari.. Fortress, was caught red handed by the guards of the Fortress. At the police station Spertitiz said, 'I'm unemployed and.. I was broke. I was starving. I couldn't resist the idea when.. I saw the peacocks. If I hadn't been caught, I was going to.. eat it. 'It is stated that Mahsun Spertitiz had been involved.. in many car thefts but always got away with them. According to the police, his latest crime was usurping.. a boat and sinking it. Stay tuned if you want to.. hear about the details. We'll be back after the commercials. I'll gulp you down sausage. Fat sausage. Long sausage. |
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