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Something New (2006)
Holla at your boy!
It's Fuzzy Fantabulous, Power 106, Big Boy's neighborhood. LA, today is one of my favorite days. You want to know why? Happy Valentine's Day to everybody. That's right, once more again, it's Valentine's Day. Yo, check it out. I already got some candy up here. I got a couple of listeners sent me some flowers. I'm the luckiest dude alive in Los Angeles. Let me say that. Good morning, it is a beautiful day. For one, the sun is up, 65 degrees already outside. The 405 is crowded. But who cares? Everybody's in love today. So they gonna get to work when they want to. People gonna have flowers. Everybody is getting candy. Every lady already has a date. All the restaurants are booked tonight. When I get off work, already I've probably got four dates already lined up. I got to take my moms out. My girlfriend already sent me a bouquet of flowers. And heaven knows what my wife's got planned for me tonight. Happy Valentine's Day. I'll be home early. Good morning. Hello. Kenya. Kenya! Leah. Berte sent these to me today and I don't know what to do. This one, I think is gonna make me look like a fricking cow. And this one I love... but I'm gonna have to hold my stomach in the whole time. Leah, wear the one you love. It's your wedding day. We've got to get you married. As my mother would say, "There is a mensch out there... "with your name stamped on his forehead." I'm sure there is. Who do I know for you? Who? Leah, don't start. I've got a big day. You've always got a big day. Even on the weekends, you have a big day. You can't let this job be your life. It's not my life. I have a meeting. Brian! Tall, hot, newly single... architect, really smart. This is gonna be perfect. Leah, thanks, but no. Oh, come on. I don't do blind dates. Okay. I'll just add that to the official list of things Kenya doesn't do. Which includes, among other things, sushi, dogs, kayaking... creepy-crawly things, and the color red. Red's definitely not my color. Jack Pino? Kenya McQueen. Hello. Hello. So, I looked over the letter of intent from the bankers, and I have a few questions. Shouldn't we wait? For? Well, isn't someone else coming in? No. This is it. I'm the senior manager. When we get further into the deal I'll bring someone in to collect documents. But right now, it's just us. Personal, one-on-one service. Okay. Sure. Four Belvedere Valentinis for four beautiful ladies. Thank you. I wanna make a toast. Yes. We may not have everything we want at the moment... but we do have each other. Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. Kenya, this is fabulous. Okay, let's get down to business. Where are the brothers? Yeah, K. Where's the eye candy? You got a cute- Honey... Okay, Shante. Oh, my God! And that is why The what? Have never been married. I read that article. It didn't say we'd never get married. It just said we have yet to. Okay. So when is it gonna happen? In the afterlife? Please. Never get married... that still means that 57.6 of us will. And that's a substantially greater percentage. Thank you, Miss Numbers Queen. That's very impressive. However, those odds are completely against us. It says the phenomenon is most acute among African-American woman... who are educated professionals. Judge, accountant, banker, pediatrician. That'd be us. I'm just tired of being classified as a victim. Single black professional woman destined to be unhappy and alone. I mean, I just have to keep believing I'll find the one. True. I don't even need all that. I just want a good brother. That's right. He doesn't have to make a lot of money, so long as he's got a job. Hallelujah. Yes, yes. He just has to be taller than me, college educated, and not crazy. No kids, good teeth, and no kinky sex. I mean, I like to switch it up a bit, but, you know... What? You're doing it again. The list, Kenya. The list. You know what? You should have stayed with Rashid Mohammed. How can you do the Muslim chauvinist thing? Whatever, girl. Rashid was fine. Okay? I would have been a bean-pie eating, mosque-going... walking five steps behind his behind, wearing a burka. Listen, I've been listening to this new CD by Dr. LaWanda Phillips. Now, she says that if we keep hanging onto this preconceived notion... of what we think we want... we're actually cutting ourselves off from our universal abundance. See, we hold on so tight... to this image that we have of our IBM... "Ideal Black Man." But she says that we've got to let go... in order to let love flow. In fact that's what it is called. "Let go, let flow." That means you, Kenya. No more lists. "Let go, let flow." That's right. Yes, and it's a whole lot better than, "Keep hope alive." Okay, y'all. Let go, let flow. This universe is listening. Perfect, my loves. Yes. So, as long as he is black and fine. And educated, well-spoken, with a job. With a well-paying job. You have one new message... Kenya, it's Rashid. Happy Valentine's day. You've been on my mind a lot. I wanted you to know that I'm getting married. Yeah, she is wonderful. I met her at a Farrakhan rally. Kenya, I just really want you to come to the wedding... Hello. Happy Valentine's day, sweet pea. You never forget, do you? Forget my baby girl? Impossible. Thanks, Dad. You sound down. Talk to me. No, I'm fine. Everything's great. Sweet pea. Don't give up, baby girl. You know how to make your dreams come true. Miss McQueen? Dr. Brockton, I didn't see you. Looking all cute. Thanks. Brothers, this is Kenya McQueen. So, how's Laurie? She's fine. Why don't you sit down and join us? I can't. Meeting someone? Oh, no. Because a friend of mine went on one of those Internet blind date things recently. Watch out. There's some real stalkers out there. Right. Good to see you. See you. Nice to meet you, Kenya. Good to see you. You wouldn't be waiting for someone by any chance. Someone named Brian? Why? I'm him. I'm Brian, actually. Are you Kenya? Brian... Brian Kelly? Yeah. Blind date Brian Kelly? I'm sorry. It's that bad, huh? Obviously, you were expecting someone else. No. Leah described you perfectly. She's funny. Well, she said nothing but great things about you, so... Should we sit? Sure. Let's see if we can find a table. Great. How you doing, brother? Magic treating you okay? Never met him. They're all taken, so... Here's one. Just here. Girl, you are wearing those dreads. All right... Uncomfortable? No. Why would you say that? Well, you're talking to strangers, making sure everyone knows you're down. So, you ever been on a blind date before? My first. Why'd you do it? I don't know. I... promised my girlfriends I'd be more open. But not this open. What? Nothing. You know what? It was really great meeting you... but I kind of, need to get going. I've got a crazy week coming up. So much work to do. But really, it was really - Nice meeting me. Nice meeting you. Yeah, really. You, too. Really. No, really. Bye. Bye. What was Leah thinking? I mean, I guess she meant well, but come on. Yeah. Let's go. We just got here. You got something else to do? Yes. I could be at home pleasuring myself. Hello. Hi. Lovely party. Can you believe this place? The azaleas, the lavender. Look at that fountain. You know they flew that tile in from somewhere. Whoever did the landscaping... Champagne. Thank God. Thank you. Leah sure can throw an engagement party. Something's cooking in the kitchen. See, now, why do I always get the ones in the aprons or the uniforms... with the nametags on them? Am I wearing a sign that says, "all need apply"? Who's ready for something hot and sweet? But then again, "Let go, let flow." Huh? Excuse me. Cheryl, don't leave me out here. Hello. How you doing? How are you? I'm Walter. Pleasure to meet you. I'm Cheryl. Nice to meet you. Hello, Cheryl. What are you cooking? My specialty. I'm ready for something hot and sweet. You'd like to taste one? Yes. No problem. I call it my wishing fountain. You like it? Mrs. Cahan. Congratulations. Thank you. And please, call me Winnie. You're like practically part of the family. Your house is amazing. And I love the landscaping. Thank you. Thank you. I just bought my first house, and I can't wait to landscape. Well, congratulations. Then you must meet our landscaper. I don't think he'd do a job as small as mine. Well, no, we just have to ask him. Brian, sweetie, could you come here? You know what? That's okay, I'm not ready. No. Brian, this is a very good friend - Kenya, yes. We met. Right. I thought you were an architect. Landscape architect. Well, Kenya just bought her first house and she wants to do some landscaping. So maybe you could go take a look at it for her, sweetie. Or recommend someone if you're too busy. Well, I think Kenya is probably the one who's too busy. I'm sure she has time. She was just raving about your work. Really? It is nice. Thank you. Brian, she needs you. If you'll excuse me, I have to go remind my daughter she's still a Cahan. You look beautiful. Thank you. Listen, I just have a small backyard and I don't really have a budget, so... Well, small is okay. Business is business. No pressure, but if you're ever ready, call me. Take care. What are you doing? You'll have to leave him in the car. I don't do dogs. Well, neither do I. We're just good friends. I guess I walked right into that one. Hi, how are you? I'm good. So, you don't do dogs, huh? I mean, I can't have dog hair all over my house. I hope it's not an imposition. No, I got it. I got it. Hear that, Max? She doesn't do dogs. So you have to wait in the truck. Okay? I'm sorry. Skiddley-Max! Go on, Max! In the truck! There's a good boy. He's a good boy. It's around the back. Got you. Listen, thanks for coming out here... and not, you know, holding my rudeness against me. I appreciate you saying that. So, what do you think? Well... One thing's certain. You need me. Now, I'm just gonna throw around some ideas... but I saw you checking out Mrs. Cahan's fountain... so I figure the focal point has gotta be a fountain. Fountain? I love that. Good. But, I can't. The electricity, the cost- Oh, no, we can make it work. You gotta have a fountain. You come home from a hard day's work. You lay back on your chaise. You listen to the sounds of the water, have a glass of wine. Now, this, are you married to this? No. Not at all. All right, the tub's gone. Path. And I was thinking we could build some kind of a structure here. Drape it in bougainvillea or... wisteria. I like that. It's pretty. You should see this job that I just finished. It turned out great. I covered the patio and the walls with this richly-hued flagstone. I did some interesting things with the lighting and stereo. I'd love to see it. Well, what are you doing right now? I can take you by. Now? Yeah. I can't. I've got way too much work to do. Do you have any pictures of it? Pictures wouldn't do it justice. Well, today is out. I'm swamped. It's just in Los Feliz. I can take you straight there and bring you straight back. Promise. Gorgeous day. Hey, you mind if I make a quick stop at the community garden? A quick what? We're right here. Just dropping something off. I'll be real quick. You can come in if you want. Maria, look what I got for you. Mijo! Hey! Nice seeing you, Mijo. You, too. How you been? Ms o menos. The business has been good though. I hear about Penelope. Yeah. She's a bitch. Did you see it coming? Yeah, I guess, you know. How? Well, Maria. Honestly? Penelope is great. She is. She's just not great with me. MARIA Are you okay? Yeah. She is cute. There's a spider in my hair. What? There's a spider in my hair. Wait. Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Wait, wait. There's nothing there. Just breathe. Just breathe. Breathe, breathe. Breathe, breathe. Breathe, breathe. You must think I'm a freak. No. Not at all. You just don't do spiders. Or dogs. There's a whole list. You have no idea. You know... I could draw up some kind of a proposal and submit it to you. And then the ball's in your court. If you have any questions or ideas, just give me a call, anytime. All right? I... I have to think about it. I'm still getting my head around the mortgage. No pressure. Okay. Thanks. Good night. Sleep tight. Okay. Don't let the spiders bite. Kenya? I brought you a little present for the Pino account. Excellent. My very own personal computer. Bill Lebree. Welcome aboard. I'll put you right to work. I'm at your service. I'll have the engagement letters, the procedures... and the request lists around 3:00. And I'll need them back by Thursday, no later than 10:00, 10:30. And in the meantime, you can look these over... and get a breakdown of the depreciation and amortization. Got it. No problem. Anything else you need, I'm here. Thank you. Now, Kenya- Edwin, I know how important this account is. Don't worry. I'm not worried. We have complete confidence in you. That's why you're being considered for partner. Fantastic. Contingent, of course, on the Pino account. I'll do it. Well, this is certainly good news. Just wait till the gray hairs come... and you have to schedule in time to see your spouse. I look forward to that. For Miss Kenya McQueen, via messenger. For me? Your birthday? No. Who's it from? My new landscaper. No! Go! No! Go! Max, Max! Get out of there! Get back in the truck. Get in the truck! Skiddley-Max! Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. He must have... He must have snuck out of the truck. Well, please do everything you can to make sure that he doesn't. Yeah. Okay. I spilled your latte. Thanks for the latte. It's real sweet. No foam, extra hot. I was making one for myself. That's really nice. So when do you think you're gonna be done? Well, we've only been here two days. You sick of us already? No, I was... I was thinking that maybe when you're done... I could have a party out here. A housewarming? Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a great idea. You need to relax. Does it show? You know, it's Saturday, you're wearing a suit and... I've got to go in. I've got a lot on my plate. I just found out I'm up for partner. Partner, huh? Wow, that's quite an achievement. Congratulations. Well, it hasn't happened yet. It will. Better get back. Hey, what are you doing here on a Saturday? I got a job to do... for a hardworking lady that deserves a party. Thank you. What? What? Hi. Hi. What's up with Iron Johnny, over there? Hi, there. Hi. My bad. Stacy, my sister Kenya. Kenya, Stacy. It's such an honor. Really. Here's the money for Mom's birthday. Good. I got the tool for this job. You didn't tell me you were landscaping. Am I required to tell you everything? Brian, this is my baby brother, Nelson. Nice to meet you, man. What's happening? Forgive him. He was born arrogant. It's the help. Nelson! What? By the way, what's this I hear? You skiing the slopes? Are you sneaking off to the OC? Are you sleeping with the enemy? It was a blind date. I didn't know. Why did I tell you that? Blind date? Blind... That is wrong! My sister should be going out on a blind date with a white boy in the- No! 'Cause you are not that desperate! What is the matter with you? I just don't want everyone knowing my business. This is so awesome! Your first, very own house. Thank you. Can I use the little girls' room? Yeah. It's right through there. I hope she has a magic coochie. Don't even go there, Miss Blind Date. As a matter of fact, you should get yourself a little something-something. I'm gonna hook you up. With your friends? Please. Kenya, you need to make yourself more available. What does that mean? Interested. Open. Spontaneous. You need to let your guard down every once in a while. I tried. It backfired. Baby, could you do me a favor? Could you give my sister some tips on how to catch a man? Sure. I can give you some pointers. You need to get a good nutritionist. You'd be amazed what a little diet can do. It changed my life. Thank you. Thank you. So, where did you guys meet, anyway? I was driving... and Nelson pulls up next to me in his brand new Jag. And I was like, "Oh my God, an XJS! This is not happening!" Shut up! No, you shut up. No, you shut up. No, you shut up. So, when are you gonna let me test drive that thing, anyway? Never. Never, ever. I would never ever let you drive my whip. So, I want to use a mixture of California natives and different perennials... to try and create a Mediterranean feel. You good with that? I don't know one from the other. Well, a California native obviously grows best in this environment. And perennials, well, they're just flowering plants, they bloom seasonally. They shift the energy and the mood for the garden. Here, check this out. Mediterranean lavender, you gotta have it. It has healing qualities. Yeah. In ancient times, it was used to honor the gods. How'd you get into this, anyway? It was my dad. Everywhere we lived, he had a garden. And every spring, he'd make me help him plant stuff. At first I hated it. Then after a while I kind of got into it. I was the only 12-year-old on my block who knew how to take care of cymbidiums. So at 12 you found your calling? Oh, no. It was a winding road. After college, I worked in an ad agency as a copywriter. I did that for six long years. An ad man, huh? Yeah. Suit, tie, the whole thing. I... I hated it. Then one day I took a cymbidium into my cubicle at the agency. Before too long the plants just took over. I started spending more time caring for them than working. It just clicked. So, what do you think of this, for ground cover? Yeah, it looks good. Great. There's my sweet pea! Do you two always have to make a scene? Happy birthday, Mother. Thank you, sweetheart. Here's Nelson! Hi, sweetie. Good to see you, Son. Father. I'm sorry. Kiki, these are my folks. Doctor and Mrs. McQueen. KIKl: Nice to meet you. And that's my sister Kenya. Kenya, this is Kiki. Hi, nice to meet you. Your dress, it's very unique. You like it? I made it myself. I didn't sew it. It just clips. What happened to the one with the implants? Stacy? Kiki happened to Stacy. Hey guys, how was your little trip to La Quinta? Fine. Of course, for a three-day trip, your mother packed five bags. Now, come on. It was a spa weekend. I had to have choices. And besides, one of the bags was your father's golf bag. So, Kiki, what do you do? I work at the copy shop right now. But this fall I'll be going to design school. Well, we're a family of academics, as I'm sure Nelson has told you. Dr. McQueen here is the head of neurosurgery at Cedars Sinai. Enough, Joyce. My daughter, soon to be made partner at Bailey, Banks and Biddle. Benson, Baily and Becks, Mother. Right, Becks, yes. And we are so proud of our dear Nelson... who has just joined the legal department at 20th Century Fox. Legal Department? I thought you were a producer. Good Lord, no! He graduated top of his law school class. That Jag was a graduation present from Dr. McQueen. Your daddy bought you that Jag? Mommy, Kenya is dating white boys now. I had one blind date... and nothing came of it, except I hired him as my landscaper. She's landscaping. So, it was Iron Johnny, huh? See, I knew there was something about that dude. Actually he's really nice, and we're having a really great time. Ma! You're having a great time landscaping? Burning the midnight oil? I'm just trying to keep up with you. Wow, nice. It's really coming along. Max, get over here. Max. It's okay. I'm starving. Want some takeout? What's with all the beige? You are gonna paint, right? You're gonna bring some color in? What's wrong with beige? Well, it's... safe... and impersonal. It kind of feels a little like a hotel. It doesn't reflect you. My mother thinks bright colors are for children and whores. What do you think? I don't know. See, I think color brings in energy. It excites the senses. I mean, it can make you feel sad, it can make you feel happy. It can make you feel bold. No, bold is definitely not me. Are you sure? I don't think you take the time to know who you are. You're always working. Yeah. Well, some of us have to work extra hard just to stay in the game. You wouldn't understand. Try me. You're so full of advice tonight, Mr. Know Everything. Maybe it's time I give you some. All right, fire away. Well, for one, you're a lousy businessman. You didn't ask for an upfront payment. And you've already put in too many hours to make this job cost-effective. Did it ever occur to you that I was giving you special treatment? I may not be the financial wizard, like yourself... but I have been running a small business, successfully, for over six years. Of course, if you feel the urge to review my books... then please, do me the favor. I'll allow that. Trust me, you couldn't afford me. So, I take it you don't do white guys. I just happen to prefer black men. It's not a prejudice, it is a preference. Sure. It's your preference to be prejudiced. What about you? Women are women. Some are poison, some are sweet. Ever date a black girl? All kinds of girls. So you're a player. No. I'm just... Just a landscaper. I take hard earth and make things bloom. Speaking of which, it's late. You need a hand with this? No, thank you. Well, thanks for dinner. You're welcome. And I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Bye. I let the guys go early for the holiday. So, I'm gonna head off, too. Okay. There's just one thing. You're coming with me. Why? Do we have something else to buy for the yard? No, we're going hiking. Just a day trip, nothing major. Are you asking me out on a date? I'm asking you to go hiking. Well, then the answer is double no. I don't even like hiking. Heads or tails? Who in their right mind would go out in heat like this? I mean, what is the point? Don't look down, look up. Look at the mountains. I'm looking for rattlesnakes. Don't worry about rattlesnakes. The mountain lions eat most of them. Very funny. Uh-oh. Shit! My hair! I'm gonna kill you! I swear, I didn't see it coming. Don't think this is going any further, because it's not. Good night. Why'd they name you Kenya? I was born there. My father was into world healthcare for a few years. My mother wanted to name me Tiffany. She hated East Africa. Couldn't wait to get back to the States. How come? I don't know. She's my mother. There weren't enough places to shop. Also, I had really bad asthma when I was little. She didn't trust the hospitals there. Asthma? So that's why you hate bugs... spiders... and tall grass... and hiking. Yeah, I was pretty sheltered. Little Kenya stuck inside while the other kids play. Drawing her pictures... and muttering her equations. You think I'm pathetic, don't you? No, I don't. I think you're adorable. Just adorable. Can I ask you one more question? Can you take this off? What do you mean? I mean, it's not a wig, right? But it's not your real hair either, is it? I can't believe you just asked me that. I'm sorry. I'm just curious. It is a weave, if you must know. I thought you dated black girls. They had real hair. I have real hair, too. Underneath? Yes, underneath! So, what? They just... They sew it in? Something like that. You know what? I think you should leave. This isn't gonna work. I don't know what I was thinking. It was a really, really stupid mistake. Now please go. What? 'Cause I asked about your hair? Because of everything. And furthermore, effective today... I will no longer be needing your services as a landscaper. Yeah, you're a piece of work, Kenya McQueen. Get out! Sorry if I offended you. I just... I was just wondering what you'd look like completely naked. You did what? With who? I know. But... It was raining, and we were hiking. You were hiking? And we just got carried away. All right. Well, can he bone? Nedra! What? Don't be so crass! Oh, please! Well, can he? See. Well, yes. Now you're talking, girl. He got a big - Yes. But it's over. It's over. It was a one time thing. In fact, I fired him. Kenya, you did what? It was never gonna work. Well, of course not, fool! You don't have to marry him! Marry him, honey. All you are doing is just having- Some good old-fashioned sex. For once in your tired sappy life. You need to let it flow. Take it out. Just getting the rest of my stuff. I knew it. What? You're gorgeous. Don't worry about the balance. Wait. Don't go. I know you're sensitive about color. So we'll just take it slow. No one has to know if you don't want them to. It'll just be our little secret. Don't move. Yes. You can't tell me that white people don't have a special thing for dogs. Dog hotels, dog shrinks. You know, you kiss them in the mouth. You let them sleep with you. I mean, look at you and Max. I mean, you have your own language. "Skiddley-wags." Skiddley-Max. It's Skiddley-Max. Okay, sorry. Okay? Sorry, Max. It's okay. Your neighbor, Lillian. And Miss Selina? I mean, come on. Every day that dog has on a new dress. I mean, I swear, she even puts lipstick on that dog. Miss Lillian doesn't count. Yeah, well, I'm not buying that. I'm just not gonna buy it. Here, taste this. Can you just do that one more time? Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. You've gotta take your time and just appreciate certain things. Like, ladies, look at all the beautiful black men in here. Just give all the black men a round of applause in here. I'm talking about fine brothers up in here. 'Cause, you know why I'm particularly fond of the black man? Because society is just so hard on the black man. All they say is, "The black man don't wanna work." Then, when they do work, "They don't wanna take care of their kids." Then when have kids, "They don't spend no quality time with them." But when they bring that to me, you know what I tell them? Well, what about the DC Sniper? This man spent quality time with his son. Took him to work with him. Taught him how to hunt. You just can't judge a whole race of men by one incident, you know. I love my black brothers. That's why I ain't never dated outside of my race. Never dated outside of my race. Never. Well, yes I did. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I dated an African once. Baby, he did it to me so good, I woke up with my hair braided, baby. It was bad. But I ain't never dated a white man before. Not that I'm not attracted to white men. 'Cause there's some fine-looking white men in here. But my only problem with the white man is that... y'all don't know how to break up with a woman. I watch The Crime Channel. You date them, you come up missing, don't you? Everybody will be looking for you. You'll be chopped up, in the freezer, in a sandwich bag... with a "barbeque" sign on your head. Y'all, my name is Sommore. Y'all have been great. Thank you. Wow, we've been to New Orleans, Charleston, the wine country. You know where there is good food, Walter will travel. Yeah. He's a true foodie. And I've gained five pounds, but I'm having a ball. Hear ye! Hear ye! Madam Judge here, would you'd ever thought she'd fall... for somebody with an apron? Come on, Kenya. Well, you showed me the light. Didn't you? Well, looks like you two have been having fun. And plus, I can't even reach Kenya. She used to pick up on the first ring. So, do share. Well, I've been... - I have a big account right now. So... Yeah. Kenya. Admit it, girl. You're having fun. I can tell. Oh, wait. And before I forget, I got this on our last trip. And now that you're into colors, I thought you might be able to use it. Thank you. You're welcome. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. That's my song. Come on, let's dance. Okay. Come on, y'all. Shake a tail feather now. So, I hear you into gardening. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Like that jungle variety. The jungle what? The jungle variety. Look, man, do you do this with all your clients? Do you bring them out? No, not usually. Why? Because that woman, you see that woman? I love that woman. And Kenya love that woman. She's like a sister to Kenya, so she's kind of like a sister-in-law to me. See what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. So we got her back. She's kind of like family. You got that? Yeah, I got it. Good. Got what? You got what? Got milk. What was that about? It was just about you. Here you go, Sommore. I'll be up at the bar. Hey! Hey! Hey, baby. How are you doing? You did a good job. Thank you. I'm glad y'all came. This is my girl, Cheryl. Hi, how are you doing? Hi. Hi, nice to meet you. That's Kenya. Hi, how are you? Hi. I'm Brian. Hi. I see y'all brought your night light with you. Girl, either you getting your swirl on or you got your probation officer with you. Well, I don't blame you. I know all about these undisclosed liabilities. And you're not concerned? Well, yeah, but did you see the receivables? They're right here. Yes, I've looked them over. Jack- Look, I really need this IPO to happen. I know you do, but the deal has to make sense. Look, did you see this, Bill? Of course, Bill saw it. He prepared the document before I did the analysis. Jack, I know you're anxious about this deal but I'm only protecting you. Jack. Oh, Edwin. You still owe me a round of golf. I sure do. Listen, why don't you take a minute and sit with us? I'd love to, but I have a meeting. You're in good hands. Kenya knows what she's doing. Well, after your meeting, why don't you stop back here and look at this? Sure. Kenya, do you mind? Not at all. Jack values your feedback, and he should have it. We're all here to serve the client. I believe that. Watch this. Oh, my God! Wow! Brian... this is just incredible. It's... everything I ever wanted... and more. Thank you. Hard day? Annoying. This client is a trip. I have to go back into the office tomorrow... and he's second guessing everything I do. I have to double-check my work just in case. That old black tax again. Black tax? Yeah, you have to work twice as hard just to prove yourself equal. You sure you're not being paranoid? Yeah, I'm sure. Okay. Then I'll work Saturday, too. Hey. Don't walk up on me like that, you don't know me. Well, I thought you could use some help. Oh, man, you trying to steal my secrets over here. That's what you trying to do. You got me. You got me. I admit it. Well, you know what? You ought to feel real, real blessed... that you're even invited to this negro spiritual. I am, Walter. You know what I'm saying? Hey, Boo-boo. Talk to you later. Oh, hey. You look gorgeous. Hi. Oh, there's Leah. Leah! Paul! Hey, Paul. Hi. Hi, look at you guys. I am so psyched. Well, I'm so psyched for you guys. Wedding in a few weeks. Yeah. Hey, the place looks great. Thank you. I want to show you the fountain. I've been telling her about the fountain. Yeah, yeah. Great. Yeah, I really like what you did here. Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot. It's a good space to work with. Can I get you a drink? Yes, sure. We'll just have a couple of sodas. Two sodas. Coming right up. That white guy's really nice. Girl, honey, you let go all right. Working your natural hair, sporting your little boy-toy. He's a doll, baby. He's a gardener. He's a good one, girl. Look at your flowers and blooms. Tony's cute. Divorced. Well, not technically, but the separation is legal. Suzzette. I know, you guys, please. He came into my office cradling that feverish child. Those muscular arms. He said, "Doctor, we need help." What was I supposed to do? Let go, let flow. Cheers! The reality of it is a brother can't get no slack. Now see, if a white boy had done that- Oh, please. He would have got a promotion. What I'm saying. Give me some of that. Are you guys talking about the black tax? Ahem. Drinks? Hey, hey, hey, hey. Wait a minute, wait a minute. My man! He's a spy. He tried to con me out of a barbecue technique earlier today. I guess he gonna try to open up his own restaurant or something like that. No. I'll be... Excuse me, yeah... What is that police pat that you give me on the back all the time? Kenya! This looks like a bordello in Bangkok. Hi. Hi, sweetie. I didn't think you'd make it. Dr. McQueen. Dad! Hello. I'm Brian. Oh, the landscaper. Actually, Brian is my friend, Mother. Brian, good to meet you. Good to meet you too, sir. Oh, why did you cut your hair? It was your shining glory. It was a weave, Mother. Well, it suited you. Come on, take me in the house so I can freshen up. So, you did all this? Yeah, let me show you around. Kenya, look at this place. You have gone all bohemian, my dear. What on earth has gotten into you? Do not answer that. I'm gonna tell Mama. Hi, Nelson. Hi. Oh, my bad. Luna, this is my sister Kenya. Kenya, this is Luna. Hi. Hi. Listen to me. I think I found the one. Well, that's great. Congratulations. Oh, no, no, no. No, for you. I found your future husband. Yeah, my mentor in law school just moved into town. Nelson, why don't you just stay out of my business? Can you just do me a favor, and just check him out first? I promise you, you are gonna thank me. You're gonna thank me. And also I told him to come here tonight. What? Yeah, I called him like, yesterday. Nelson, I'm gonna strangle you. You know what? It's too late, 'cause he's here. This is for allowing me to crash your party. I'm Mark Harper. What's up, baby boy? How are you, sir? Mark gave me my first job as an intern. Thanks. Nice to meet you. Same here. Finally. Nelson's been telling me about you for years now. I've talked about you for years. Yeah. So, you just bought this place? Yeah, yeah. It's nice. I just relocated from Phoenix, myself. I'm looking for a place. So, maybe you can help me out. Show me some things. I mean, I'm thinking you're probably an expert in the area by now. Oh, well, I know a thing or two... but I wouldn't call myself an authority or anything. Oh. What? Look, my sister is just playing it down. She knows her stuff... and she could give you the numerical breakdown of anything. Well, that's perfect 'cause that's just what I need. How about next week? Can I let you know? No. No, of course. Of course, yeah. Hey, you know what? Why don't we go check out the grill? No, I'm good, man. I'm good right here. I wanna show you the barbeque. It was nice meeting you. Nice meeting you. Hey, baby. Hi. How are you? Good. Who's that guy? Some friend of Nelson's. Nice plant. Kenya! Bye. Bye. See you later. All right, guys. So, we met Nelson's mentor. Is that handsome or what? And well-spoken. He said that you were gonna show him around. Say good night, Joyce. We have to go. Young man, you did an interesting job on the garden. Oh, thank you. Yes, very good work. It was great talking to you, sir. Me, too. Did you get your cotillion invite? Yes. You must come. Senator Abamaus Leeds is- We'll talk about it later, Mother. Come on, come on. Good night. Good night. Good night. Bye. So, what's a cotillion? Seventeen years old. The debutante being presented to society. I can't believe people still do that. They take it seriously, too. That's Mom and Dad. My escort, David Fontaine. His father and mine went to med school together. My parents flew him out from Atlanta. You couldn't find someone locally? It was a big deal to my mother. "Kenya Denise McQueen escorted by David Fontaine... "son of Dr. And Mrs. David Fontaine." Whatever. My grandfather passed away two years ago. And my nana still lives in Baltimore. Well, they look like they're having fun. They lived for it. It was the black high-society event of the year. So, you wanna go? It's on the same night as the community garden party... but I can blow that off. I don't know. I think I'll skip this year. Why? Because of me? I'm a great ballroom dancer. I don't know. I just... I just don't think we'd be comfortable. We or you? Come on, let's go to bed. We both have to work tomorrow, remember? Yeah, I do. Kenya! Hey, Edwin. Listen, I'm sorry about that business with Jack Pino the other day. I know he's being an ass. But, as you said, we're here to serve the client... and sometimes that means putting egos aside. Absolutely. We knew you could handle it. You're a pro. Thanks. Thank you. Walter gave me the secret to his famous grilled salmon. Want to try it? Whatever's fine. You all right? Yeah, I'm fine. The white boys at the plantation are getting on my last nerve, that's all. Could we put the white boys on hold for tonight? The white folks. The brothers, the sisters. All of them. What are you saying? Just not tonight, babe. I, you know... I had a rough day, too. I need to get home and relax. You're asking me to not talk about race? No, I didn't say that. You expect me to be in this relationship with you and never bring it up? What? We talk about it all the time. I just said, not right now. When? When is appropriate? When we're at home behind closed doors, when we're just joking about it? No, just not all the time. All right? It just makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry, but I wasn't brought up that way. First of all, you don't have to talk about being white... because no one reminds you every day that you're white. The only time you guys know you're white... is when you're in a room full of black people. I'm in a room full of... I'm in a world full of white people, and every day they remind me that I'm black. And if I can't talk to you about my frustrations... if I'm just supposed to keep that to myself - Kenya, hold on. You're a senior manager at one of the whitest firms in the country. All right? You graduated top of your class from Stanford and Wharton, for Christ's sake. You own a home. You earn more money than what? Black or white. Certainly more than me. So, you know, tell me about your frustrations, 'cause I'm listening. No, you don't want to hear it. You don't want to hear about... how when I show up at an account meeting... they always have to regroup when they find out I'm the one... who's responsible for their multi-million-dollar acquisition. They'd rather trust it to a file clerk. The guy who gets me my goddamn coffee, because he's white. Do you know how insulting that is? They're jerks. Forget them, baby. They're jerks. They have nothing to do with us. They have nothing to do with us. Brian, if I can't talk to you about the black shit that drives me crazy... or the white shit that drives me crazy... if I'm just supposed to keep that to myself. Brian! And deny who I am- No, I've never asked you to deny anything. All I wanted, all I wanted was a night off. That's what being black is about, Brian. You don't get a night off. You know what? I'm never gonna be on the right side of the war going on inside your head... 'cause I'm not black. All right? I'm never gonna be black. So maybe this isn't what you want. Maybe it just isn't gonna work. Maybe it's not. Hi. Hey, Kenya. Did I catch you at a bad time? I can really see myself here. It is nice. But I think the asking price is a little too high for the area. I would bid at about 80 grand less. And when the broker asks you what you think, don't be too enthusiastic. Wait till tomorrow to make your offer. Okay. Okay. So, how are you two doing? I like it. Very good. And Mrs. Harper? Oh, no. I'm - Mrs. Harper has her questions. But we'll get back to you tomorrow with our final answer. Sounds good. You have my card. Yeah. Thank you. Mrs. Harper. Take care. Enough about me. So, how are the good old boys treating you down at the plantation? Oh, you know them. Fond of testing us. Oh, yeah. The old black tax. But we play the game. We do what we gotta do to get ahead. Don't we? We sure do. So, how often do you get home to St. Louis? Every once in a while. Well, it seems like I'm tied to my desk lately, though. I work most weekends. Haven't been able to go anywhere. And they got me up for partner now. I know all about that. You up for partner, too? You? You got it going, there, girl! Two partners. Watch out. Dang! You know, I hope this isn't too forward... but I would really like to spend some real time with you. But no, no, I've got to say, now, I'm not one of these LA guys... lots of women, the whole fast lifestyle, all that. I like to keep it nice and simple. One lady at a time. I'm thinking about the future right now. So what's going on with you, Kenya? You got a man? You seeing somebody? Now? No. Not really, no. That's what I wanna hear. Yes, Mother. I'm picking the dress up tomorrow. Okay. Yes. Mother, I'll call you back. Okay. Max! You gonna let me in? I haven't heard from you in two weeks. Don't you think you should have called first? Well, I thought I'd just show up. You're right. I'm sorry. I should have called first. The reason you haven't heard from me is 'cause... well, to be honest, I felt stupid. I should have just listened to you that day. All you needed was a shoulder, not another critic. I don't know where my head was that day. I had a guy walk off the job, and I guess I was feeling a little frustrated. I wanna be there for you, Kenya. I really do. And we can talk. We can talk about whatever you like. I may not always relate, but I can promise I'll empathize. Can you trust that? 'Cause it'd be a terrible shame to let something so superficial get in our way. Just give up because it's challenging sometimes. I mean, aren't we both up to the challenge? Kenya, I love you. I don't know what to say. Should I give you a hint? Look, I met someone else. It's not like I went out looking or anything. It just happened. Let me guess. He's black? It is not only that. We have more in common. A suit-and-tie guy? Yeah. Let's go, Max. Come on, let's go. I didn't mean for this to happen. Don't worry. We were just... We were just hanging out, right? Right. Look, I'll put the check for the landscaping in the mail. No, don't. Don't. Take care. You got to keep everything loose. Got to keep your knees loose. Keep your hips loose. Keep everything loose. Like that, all right? What does this have to do with hitting the ball? This is how you gotta get the motion. You gotta get the feel. Know what I'm saying? Bounce with me. Bounce with it. Look at that. Look at that. There you go, girl. Keep your knees loose. Three things. There's the back swing. There's the contact. And then there's the follow-through. Now follow through, let me see how you do that. Like that. Good. All right, you got it. Okay. This is great, right? Thank you. You're doing a great job, young man. We're supposed to do this. Hey, little man. Thank you. No, it's for you. Oh, for me? Yeah. This is Leah's family synagogue, right? Yeah, I guess so. You need to get a yarmulke. Kenya. Hello. This is Penelope, Kenya. You're Penelope. It's nice to meet you. I love your dress. Thanks. Oh, I'm sorry. This is... This is Mark. Brian. How are you doing? Hi. So, you two got back together. That's nice. Yeah. Well, it's good to see you. Okay, maybe I should call a doctor. No, no. It's nothing. My asthma just comes back at the oddest times. That's all. It'll pass. Okay, what is this about? Is this about Brian? Brian? No, no, no. But can you believe, he had the nerve to show up with that white woman? Last time I checked, Brian was white, too. And it is over, right? You broke up with him, right? Okay, you know what, guys? Maybe we shouldn't talk about this here... 'cause this is a rabbi's study. I don't think it's too cool for us to be in here. Look, girl, pull it together. Don't let Mark see you like this. How could he? It was so easy for him to just get back with her like it was nothing. Aren't you forgetting something? You've got a man, too. A fine, successful, black man. Okay? You're right. What am I saying? Mark's wonderful. Mark is fine. Yes. He's your IBM, right? Right. Right. I mean, let's get real here, okay. Brian is cute and all that, but he is a white boy. Oh, come on, Kenya, please! I mean, were you really gonna go the distance? Honestly? Be honest with yourself. You always get in your own way. This is what you do. You've got a lot of nerve talking about going the distance... screwing married men! Okay, okay. Enough. What happened to "Let go, let flow?" Good luck. Wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. It's fine. It is true though, girl. Go deal with them demons. Look, it's not about going the distance. Okay? 'Cause you guys said that Walter and I weren't gonna make it. And we tighter than ever. Kenya, I don't know what your problem is, girl, but Mark is a catch. And if you don't know what to do with him, girl, pass him on to me... 'cause I will show you what to do with him. I'll marry his ass quick and give him a shitload of babies. Black, ashy babies. Our Sunday dinners have been a tradition since our first year of marriage. Right, Edmond? Right, Joyce. It's the only day I'm guaranteed a home-cooked meal. So, Mark, I understand your father owns an insurance brokerage. That's bedrock. So your parents, how long have they been married? Baby, you wanna ask him for his social security number, too? It's just a question. Forty-five years. They're my role models. Oh, how sweet! Next year we will celebrate our 35th. Dr. McQueen is the adventurer... and I am, how should I say... the voice of reason. It's a good balance. He's always encouraging me to try new things... and of course, I'm always saying, "No, thank you." I had to show them who's boss. You know what I mean? Hell yes, I do. So did Lauren happen to Lana? And who's lined up to happen to Lauren? The last girl I was with, her name was Luna. Yeah, and Lauren did happen to her. And Lauren might actually be the one. Check out her stats. She's fine. She is an optician, and she owns her own place. The odds are definitely in her favor. Stats? Stats. Is that how you decide to have a relationship with someone? I'm just trying to keep up with you, big sis. Mark is a great move. You did good. You did. Mrs. McQueen, you'll like this story. I convinced your daughter to go out with me... by suggesting she accompany me house-hunting. I told her I needed the accountant's perspective, now. What I did not tell her was as a tax lawyer myself... I already knew the numbers. Yeah. Yeah, that's me. They call me the numbers man. But can you blame me? You gotta use what you got. Mark, that is so cute. Thank you. And if things keep going well... in six months from now, who knows what we'll be celebrating. Right, Kenya? Oh, my God. Oh, Mark. Oh, my! Oh, my God! Let's just forget the coffee and pop some champagne. Oh, my God! You know... I love that picture of you, at your folks, with the long hair. You know which one? You should let it grow. I can't. I can't do this. Kenya, Kenya, Kenya. Am I going too fast? Kenya, wait, wait, wait. Kenya. Hey, come on. I'll put you in the guest room, all right? If you're not ready, it's all right. It's all right. I understand. No pressure. In fact, I will... I will wait for you as long as you want. Okay, I'll drive you home. No, I'll drive myself. Why? I can't do this. You're a great guy. Perfect. But this just isn't right for me. I hope you understand. Wait, was it something I said? Something I did? No, not at all. You've been wonderful. It's me. I'm just looking for something. I don't know what it is, really, but it's not here. Just like that. I'm sorry. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm so stupid. Maybe I just made the biggest mistake of my life. He was fine and smart. But there was no fizzle. No magic. I don't know. Kenya, look, don't beat yourself up. You gotta listen to your instincts. Yeah, but what if my instincts are screwed up? Your instincts are fine. You did a brave thing. You let your heart do the talking, not your parents... not society, not black people, not your girls. You decided for you, honey. So, you gonna give Brian a call? This is not about Brian. I mean, it would be if he were black, but he's not. That's just the reality. Look, Kenya, as a black man... I must say, I was a little suspicious of the guy, when I first met him. But at the end of the day it's not about skin color or race. It's about the love connection. The vibe that's between a man and a woman. Does he make you feel loved, he make you laugh... he make you just wanna forget about all the bullshit and just enjoy life? Because if that's what you have with Brian... Baby, I don't know when you're gonna wake up to that. It is my recommendation that the Pino Group... not acquire Net Worth Consolidated. You don't want this company, Jack. I'm not gonna paint a pretty picture by being creative with the numbers... and I will not stand with the firm in recommending you purchase it. I'm sorry, but that's my position. This is not what I wanted to hear. Kenya, do you think we could have a moment alone with Jack? Sure. Got the 10-K of SEC filings for Kate Blanchard. I've also got a bottle of tequila in my desk. Darren, I'm fine. Can I have a word with you? Sure. That was quite a show you put on back there, Kenya. And that's precisely what we want at this firm. Guts, smarts, integrity. Without your good judgment, this firm would have made a big mistake. Outstanding work, Kenya. Thanks. Now, you know the vote's tonight, but let me be the first to congratulate you... partner. I've made partner? You've made partner. Oh, well, that's great! I told you we had our eye on you. Oh, my goodness! Your input is invaluable to this firm. We're very lucky to have you. I appreciate that. Congratulations. Edwin. Actually, I have one request. What's that? One weekend a month is untouchable. No cell phone, no email. Just my time. I think we can handle that. Ladies, are you ready to keep up with me tonight? 'Cause I'm gonna keep both of you on the dance floor till you say... "Please, big Daddy, I can't take no more." Oh, Edmond, really! Hey, Kenya, isn't that Cheryl? Wow. You look gorgeous. Cheryl! I didn't even recognize you. You look beautiful! You are positively glowing. Thank you, Mrs. McQueen. You know, maybe it's because of this. Oh, my God! Details, details. Well, it was a total surprise. I'm dropping him off at the airport. He gets down on one knee and bam! I mean, I was expecting something nice. But this? And he picked it out all by himself. My goodness! Nelson, I hope you're taking notes. You don't have to worry about that. It's gorgeous. Isn't it, Kenya? Yes it is, Mother. We'll talk later. And remember what I said the other night. You okay? I'm fine. Okay. Introducing Miss Deavon Frost. Parents are Dr. And Mrs. Malcolm Frost. Escorted by Sidney Baldwin, son of the Honorable Stanley Baldwin. Introducing Miss Rene Atkins. Parents are Mr. And Mrs. Ronald Atkins. ...Mr. And Mrs. David Hunter III, Esq. Slow down. This is so silly. I can't believe I ever took this seriously. I mean, really, what are we trying to prove with this? That our little princesses can grow up and marry little princes, too? As long as they both have the right pedigree... they're guaranteed to live happily ever after. I mean, how shallow is that? Don't believe the hype, girls! It ain't what it's cracked up to be. Kenya! You stop that! Go on, girls. Better pretend while you can. I have had enough! You have done nothing but embarrass us all evening. Embarrass you. I'm embarrassing you? Yes. Complaining and carrying on. Blaming everyone but the one responsible for your unhappiness. Yourself. Perhaps it's time you faced that. Thanks, Mother. Kenya. I shouldn't have said that. Sweet pea. There comes a time in life when we have to strike out on our own. And we... Whoa. Don't worry about me. I'm a doctor. And a father. I've seen it all, heard it all. Handle your business. Kenya, you don't have to tell me you have a thing for Brian. It was all over your face and in your voice. Daddy, it's over. Please, don't. I know love when I see it. Plus, I talked to him. He's a good guy. If you have feelings for him, you need to do something about that. But, Daddy... You know how your mother always says that I'm the adventurer. Well, did you know that when we met I didn't have a pot to piss in? I never told you this... but your grandparents threatened to disown her if she married me. But she defied them and we ran off together. We didn't know how we were gonna make it. But we did. And her folks eventually came around. The point is, love is an adventure, Kenya. It's not a decision you make for others. It's a decision you make from the heart. Anyway, the boy is just white. He ain't a Martian. I mean, folks carry on like we're some kind of pure race... that shouldn't be diluted, huh? But look at us, all of us in this country. Black, white, brown, yellow. We're all mixed up. Mutts. All of us. Nothing pure about us. I wish I had a father like that. Sorry, I don't lend him out. Not even on special occasions. Hello, valet, can you get me a cab? Yes, ma'am. Hey, where you going? To get Brian back. What? That's right, Brian. 'Cause you know what? I happen to love him. Don't make love wait. Take my car. Take my whip. Take it, take it, take it. Just be easy on the 22s. Be easy on the 22s. Come on, now! Oh, no! Hi. Hi. By any chance, have you seen Brian? Brian, I think he's gone, honey. Thank you. Max, I missed you. Hi, Maxie. Hi. Hi. Hey. Look, I know you must think I'm combative... neurotic, picky... And maybe I am. But the weird thing is... I've never had to be anyone but myself with you... right from the beginning. And with you I feel like I can do anything... say anything, try anything. And that's the life I want. I want an adventure with you. You don't understand. We're supposed to be together. I'm never gonna be your dream man, Kenya. I just... I won't be the fall-back guy. No. See, that's the thing. I don't have to wonder about that anymore. I know this is right. Dreams change. Hey, when I was younger, my dream was to marry Rick James. You're the one I want, Brian. I love you. I love you, Kenya. I've never stopped loving you. Oh, wait, wait. We have to go right now. There's not much time left. Where? What are we doing? Do you know that guy with the guitar? Aw, shucks! Look at him! Oh, my God. Photo-op, photo-op, photo-op! Everybody look at the photographer! I found her, Daddy! |
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