1
The servant of god Michael is baptized.
SON OF SOFIA
I prefer your hair down.
Yes, but it's too hot.
Did you bring the DVDs?
Yes.
There must be a lot.
60!
30 per year.
Right...
I asked a friend
to send us the new episodes.
Which friend?
You don't know him. He transferred
to our school after you left.
He's expecting your new address.
Why did you move?
I had to move in with a gentleman
I was hired to look after.
It's only temporary.
He had a mild stroke when his wife died.
I thought it'd be you and me.
It won't make a big difference.
The Greek Olympic Games mascot Phoebos
was named after Apollo-Phoebos,
the god of light, prophecy, and music.
Mascot Athena was named after Athena,
the goddess of wisdom.
Sofia is Greek for wisdom.
Sofia, same as your mother.
How about you, son?
Do you know who you were named after?
Yes, after Misha, the bear.
Who's Misha the bear?
The Moscow Olympic Games mascot.
Whatever gave him that idea?
It's something his dad used to say...
We called him teddy bear
when he was little.
Tell him he was wrong.
He was named after Archangel Michael.
Is Mr. Nikos very rich?
No.
All he has is this apartment.
How many rooms?
There's the dining room, living room,
kitchen, two bathrooms,
Mr. Nikos' bedroom, yours, and mine.
Eight in total.
You can turn around.
I got the sizes all wrong.
I have to replace everything.
Whose are these?
They're new. I just bought them.
So, where's your room?
Top of the corridor, to your left.
Jack started to climb down the beanstalk
as fast as he could.
When he touched the ground,
he saw the giant coming after him.
Mum?
Mum?
Are you asleep?
You forgot the DVDs.
Yes, I found them in the morning.
I put them in my room.
We'll watch them when I get back.
No, I couldn't hear you, I was asleep.
No, I won't be late.
Do as Mr. Nikos says, OK?
He'll take you to replace the clothes.
I have to go now. Talk to you later.
Bye!
What's up?
Misha brought
some old Poor Vera episodes on DVD.
What for?
So you can watch them again together?
Yes.
I had no idea he liked it.
Bring him over to my place
next time there's a new episode on.
Misha doesn't know
I've already seen them.
He called me every week for two years,
to catch me up on the show.
I never told him
you had a satellite dish.
I see...
You know what?
I'd love to watch them again too!
Maybe I should come over one evening.
And finally meet your husband
and Misha.
I'll pretend I haven't seen them!
Greek lesson No. 1.
The family.
A family consists of the father,
the mother,
the siblings, the grandparents,
the uncles,
the brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law,
the cousins once removed,
and other kinfolk.
Let's examine each one in detail.
My father was Michael Benakis,
Michael, just like you!
General!
General!
Your father
was Boris Andreyev,
but from now on,
I'm going to be your father.
I'm going to be your father.
Let's try and write this word down.
"Fa...
-ther."
"Fa-ther."
Now you try it!
Never write with your left hand.
Right hand only!
In the name of Vladimir Ilyich Lenin,
in the presence of my comrades
I do solemnly swear
to love my Motherland dearly,
to live in a manner
bequeathed by the great Lenin
and taught by the Communist Party,
and to hold sacred the Laws
of the Pioneers of the Soviet Union.
I, Misha Romanov,
a young pioneer of the USSR...
This is Vera Stepanova.
And this is her son Misha.
Vera told Misha she's expecting a baby.
In a few months,
Misha will have a brother,
a half-brother.
Since Misha's father died years ago.
Pioneer, be ready to defend
the Communist Party of the Soviet Union!
Always ready!
To think Vera's previous husband
was so much younger than her new one!
Enough with the communist invasion
for today!
Off to bed!
Goodnight.
Don't turn it off.
Will you lie down with me?
I don't like these clothes.
Sleep,
My beautiful good boy
Bayushki bayu
Quietly the moon is looking
Into your bed
I will tell you fairy tales...
What were you doing
in Michael's room for so long?
He doesn't need so much pampering.
He's a man!
I was taking a shower.
Did you turn off the boiler?
Yes.
Panayiotis called
for tomorrow's TV shoot.
I'll take Michael with me.
Some discipline will do him good.
Little Red Riding Hood:
Once upon a time,
a pretty little country girl
lived in the woods with her mother.
Everyone called her
Little Red Riding Hood
for she refused
to part with her red cap.
Tell me something!
Didn't you and Sofia
also meet on a TV shoot?
That's right.
What were you shooting?
A restaurant scene.
That's the best kind!
You spend the whole day
eating and drinking!
The National Youth Organization
was established
by Governor Ioannis Metaxas,
and is one of the more radical changes
of the National Renaissance
of August 4th 1936.
Sometimes, we fall asleep
to your fairy tales at night.
Your voice is very soothing.
Will you give me an autograph?
The Fairytales of Grandpa Earth
- Thanks so much!
- You're welcome.
Are you going on holiday this summer?
Why leave when the Olympics
are coming to town?
I'm taking Michael
to every sporting event.
You're right, it's a historic moment.
Whose picture are you taking?
We'll get yelled at.
The leading lady's.
It's for my mum.
She's a big fan.
Where are you from?
From Ukraine.
- Little Michael's country?
- No, he's Russian.
- No way!
- Russia, Ukraine, same difference!
What's your name?
Misha.
Michael!
I'm Victor.
Little Michael doesn't speak
any Greek yet, does he?
He will soon.
I'm giving him intensive lessons.
Is there a doctor in the house?
Yes, right here!
Break a leg!
Are you married?
Do you have a pen?
King, homeland, religion, and family:
These are the cornerstones
of the National Youth Organization.
Call me, if you need to!
Let's do one more take!
Ready and... action!
Misha hasn't fallen asleep yet.
He's going to hear us.
Aren't you doing mine?
You're just a kid.
No one will notice
if your clothes are creased.
I want to go with you.
You can't.
You'll stay home with Mr. Nikos.
I don't want to live here anymore.
We talked about this before.
Enough already!
You're giving me a headache!
It's impolite to speak a language
I don't understand.
We have to stay a while.
Just a minute!
I'll be late for work.
He longed to fill his stomach
with the pods the pigs were eating,
but no one gave him any.
That's when the prodigal son said,
"I'll go back to my father."
The father called his servants and said,
"Bring me the fattened calf!"
"This son of mine was dead
and is alive again."
"He was lost and is found."
Five Olympic Rings.
Five merging continents celebrating
the return of the Olympic Games
to their country of origin.
Stop snacking.
We're going to sit down to dinner soon.
Can't you see
you've been putting on weight?
Why did you stop eating?
I'm not hungry anymore.
How long is this going to last?
About three hours.
When are we going to watch Poor Vera?
We're not. Not today.
Nine-year-old Michael
in his paper boat...
Sturdy, like little old Greece,
no bigger than a dot on the map...
His name is Michael, just like you!
Is Mr. Nikos an actor?
No.
What did he do before?
He used to be a headmaster.
He also had a TV show for kids.
Stop speaking that language
or he'll never learn Greek.
Everything I taught him
will go down the drain.
Where's your wedding ring?
I left it at work.
You left it at work?
Yes.
What about his wife?
She was a housewife.
No kids?
None.
- How come?
- I don't know. Why all the questions?
How old is he?
68... 69...
Grandpa is 62.
Young man,
there are rules in this house.
Since you don't seem to get it,
someone has to spell it out for you.
And if your mother won't, then I will!
Misha, open up!
What's going on?
Please open the door!
How about some pelmeni?
Stop speaking that language!
I have all the ingredients.
We're in Greece! Speak Greek!
Or must I learn Russian?
Mr. Nikos is a good man.
How about oladushki?
Sofia, this is infuriating!
Just tell me what you want me to cook!
Sofia, what did I say?
Misha, I'm sorry!
I should have explained.
Stop it!
It's not Mr. Nikos' fault.
He's only trying to help.
We got married right before you came.
I tried to tell you but couldn't.
I just told him we're married,
he didn't know.
Misha, I did it for you!
Otherwise,
you'd have had to wait longer.
Open up!
Now you know everything!
I couldn't bear living without you.
Misha, open up!
Please, open up.
Sleep,
My beautiful good boy
Bayushki bayu
Quietly the moon is looking
Into your bed
I will tell you fairy tales
And sing you little songs
But you must dream
With your little eyes closed
The time will come when you will learn
The soldier's way of life
Boldly you'll place your foot
into the stirrup
And take the gun
While preparing for the dangerous battle
Please remember your mother
Sleep, good boy, my beautiful
I will die of yearning
Inconsolably waiting for your return
I'll pray the whole day long
And when night comes,
I'll dream of where you are.
I'll worry that you're in trouble
Far away in a strange land
Sleep now and know no sorrows
This is the first gold metal
for the Greek Olympic team!
These old dudes are so horny,
they don't notice I take photos
while I fuck them.
Isn't it a hoot?
Yes...
Once you start,
it's hard to give up.
You begin to like it.
You'll see for yourself
if you get into it...
Does your mum know?
She wouldn't give a crap.
As long as I don't ask her for money,
she doesn't care what I do.
Besides, I'm only doing it for her.
Where is she?
She was here,
but she moved to Italy with some guy.
Is that hers?
Yes.
But me, I'm not going anywhere!
I've got my training.
I'll get Greek citizenship,
I'll qualify for the next Olympics,
and go to Beijing!
How will you get by on your own?
I hadn't thought about it.
I'll help you out at first.
Worst case scenario,
you can always go back.
The old man's probably loaded,
if your mum's with him.
Are they married?
She just works for him.
Where is your dad?
Someplace.
Where?
Someplace!
Any brothers or sisters?
How about you?
Nope.
What about your dad? Where is he?
I'm closer to you
than I ever was to my real brother.
Moms and dads, and brothers and sisters,
it's all bullshit!
Come on, come on!
Hold it!
Great!
Come on!
Let's go!
Like it?
Bronze medal for Russia!
That guy's Russian.
Silver medal for the Ukraine!
He's Ukrainian.
Gold medal for...
Greece.
He's Georgian.
But he moved to Greece
and his coach adopted him
so he could be in the Olympics
under the Greek flag.
He's Greek now!
Ladies and gentlemen,
the Greek national anthem!
I recognize you by your face
That violently defines the land
From the sacred bones,
Of the Greeks arisen...
Youll find someone to fantasize about
when you fuck old dudes.
You'd better think fast though.
You don't want your mind to go blank
while you're on the job.
I usually picture the leading lady
from that TV show.
Her tits!
They really turn me on!
Some pervs even think
of their mothers or sisters.
How's the water?
Is it getting cold?
Michael arrived from Russia 15 days ago.
He was going to stay here for good.
He was very excited
to see his mother again.
After his father died,
his mother - my wife -
emigrated to Greece.
So your mummy married this guy.
They spent almost two years apart,
and now...
God only knows who he ran into.
I'm sorry I can't go on.
It's all right.
His mother is going out of her mind!
And so am I!
The three of us were so happy together.
Like a real family.
I gave him all my fatherly love,
and he made me feel complete.
I feel for you, Mr. Benakis.
Your affection for children
is well-known.
Especially when it's your own.
You'll always be "Grandpa Earth" to me.
I owe you my coming of age!
Thank you so much, Mr. Paraskevas.
Let's hope this story
will have a happy ending.
This picture of Michael was taken
just a few days ago.
But let's hear from Michael's mother.
Misha,
my little teddy bear...
Please come home!
If you can hear me,
please
come home to mama-bear.
Are you coming up?
The old man's waiting for you.
Come on!
How I regret all the wasted years
Before I finally found you
After waiting so long
Oh how I fear I might lose you
Because I'll never forget you
Stay by my side my love
Because I need you to know
How I fear I might lose you
How am I to forget you?
When I love you so?
This singer's first name was Sofia,
just like your mother.
Sofia Vembo.
How I regret all the wasted years
Before I finally found you
After waiting so long...
...the owners of the house
returned home.
They were the seven dwarves.
As soon as they arrived home,
they realised someone had been there.
Things weren't the same
as they had left them.
The first one said,
"Who has been sitting in my chair?"
The second one,
"Who has been eating my lunch?"
The third one,
"Who has been eating my bread?"
The fourth one,
"Who has been eating my vegetables?"
The fifth one,
"Who has been using my fork?"
The sixth one,
"Who has been cutting with my knife?"
This will be our little secret.
Come over here.
Watch your step!
All this will be yours one day.
I have no idea what I'd have done
if you hadn't come.
I've waited for this moment all my life,
and didn't even know it.
When you left,
I almost went out of my mind.
You're my son and heir!
My successor.
"Grandpa Earth" finally has a son.
Greek lesson number 5.
As soon as the baby was born,
the father would take it
to the Elders for inspection.
When the child turned 7,
it was taken from his mother
and given to the state.
A rigorous discipline
and military-type education commenced,
lasting twelve years.
Overseen by a "boy-herder",
the boys were drilled in gymnastics,
running,
jumping,
and were also taught
to endure pain and hardship,
hunger, thirst, cold,
fatigue, and lack of sleep.
They were only taught the basics
of reading and writing.
Their allegiance to their country
was fierce,
to the point of self-sacrifice.
When a mother saw her son off to war,
she always told him to fight bravely,
honor his armor
and die for his country, if necessary.
Calm down, Vera!
Vera...
We need a doctor! Is there a doctor?
She just passed out.
She's 5 months pregnant!
You think she'll lose the baby
at her dad's funeral?
No, she won't!
We only watched it a few months ago,
don't you remember?
Are you asleep?
I forgot to tell you about the show.
I'd only seen that one episode,
at Nina's house.
I'm going to bed. Goodnight.
Those were the days, my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance
Forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young
And sure to have our way
Thank you!
Happy birthday, Misha!
Let pedestrians run oddly
on the street by the puddles
And the asphalt is flooded by rain
They cannot understand,
that this day is not simple
And why I'm so happy today
And I'm playing the accordion
And all the people gaze at me
Such a pity, birthday parties
Are only once a year
What do we say?
Thank you.
Long live Michael
And happy birthday
May you grow old
With white hair
Can we get a picture together later?
For my mum!
It's so hot, where's my fan!
I won't eat now.
I'll take the food to go.
- Are you eating?
- No way!
How about you?
Are you eating?
She wants to know if you're eating.
He's learning, eh?
I'm doing my best.
Where did he run off to
when you were on TV?
I sent him out
for a newspaper and he got lost.
Sofia must have been in agony?
Mr. Nikos, what's wrong?
Help! Somebody help!
We need a doctor! Is there a doctor?
For real!
We need an ambulance!
Something's wrong!
Somebody call a doctor!
Is he going to die?
Maybe.
Will you be sad if he does?
Yes.
Do you love him?
In my own way.
Like you loved dad?
That was different.
Grandpa Earth
Armed Forces Television
presents a children's show
by Nikolaos Benakis
GRANDPA EARTH
Good evening.
When was this made?
The tape is in pretty good shape
for its age.
What is he talking about?
Got any more?
Yes. What is he talking about?
It's kind of like... parenting advice.
"The hero does things
he never knew he could.
"He slays dragons and solves riddles,
"until he can rescue
the fair princess and marry her."
"So the fairy tale implies
that it's not the father
"who stands between the boy
and his mother, it's the dragon!"
"The boy doesn't really want
the mother."
Grandpa!
Tell me a story!
Fast-forward it.
Press play!
He encounters a terrible dragon!
The dragon fed daily on young damsels.
Fucking hell!
He plays all the parts himself.
He changes costumes
and alters his voice.
He was a knight earlier,
and then a dragon.
Now he's the princess.
The king said, "Whoever kills the dragon
"will have the maiden's hand
in marriage."
Now he's reading fan mail.
He says it's from 8-year-old Sofia
from Karditsa.
"Dear Mr. Nikos,
"I'd love a rerun
"of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
"And I'd like you to tell Santa Claus
"to bring me a bear for Christmas."
Can you imagine this guy
in a bear costume?
As soon as the baby was born,
the father would take it
to the Elders for inspection.
If they found it was deformed or weakly,
they'd throw it in the chasm
of a nearby mountain.
Otherwise, they would return it
to its mother.
When the child turned 7,
it was taken and given to the state.
A rigorous discipline and military-type
education commenced,
lasting twelve years.
So when a mother saw her son
off to war,
she always reminded him
to fight bravely,
honor his armor,
and die for his country, if necessary.
We're home!
Misha, we're home!
Will you close the door?
Let your hair down!
You don't look like my mum.
But it's too hot.
Now we look more alike.
No matter what you do,
you still look like your dad.
That's us in the back!
I think I saw you.
You're in the back, right-hand corner.
Can you see?
Yes.
A doctor!
Is there a doctor in the house?
Yes, right here!
Are you married?
That's it!
I wonder what happens next!
Mr. Nikos is an old pro!
A real veteran.
He was not bad.
I heard the screenwriter
was pretty upset about the stroke.
He'll have to write him
out of the story.
Little Michael is starting
to look a bit like him.
You can tell he's Mr. Nikos' son.
Maybe...
Why have you left the shutters open?
It's so hot!
I told Andreas we need air conditioning.
- Do you have AC?
- Only in the bedroom.
- Not the living room, huh?
- No.
Doesn't little Michael get hot?
Don't you get hot?
In your country,
you're not used to this kind of weather!
He hasn't said anything.
Did you go to the Olympics at all?
Mr. Nikos took Misha
to the shooting range.
He'd gotten tickets
to a swim event, too.
We're doing well
in the medals department!
It's dripping.
Are you Russian, too?
No, I was born here.
But my parents are Georgian.
Oh well, Russia, Georgia, Ukraine,
same difference!
Are you married?
No.
I hope you find a nice man,
like Sofia found Mr. Nikos.
Thank you.
And have kids.
Sofia got lucky, people like Mr. Nikos
are rare nowadays.
He even signed over the house,
didn't he Sofia?
Not to me.
To Misha.
Is little Michael going to school
in September?
Yes.
- Will he go to a Greek school?
- Yes.
What grade?
I'm not sure. Nikos handled that.
Yes, he told us he was tutoring him.
How far along were they in history?
I can't really say.
- Geography?
- They studied it while I was at work.
I'll just ask Michael, then!
Michael?
How far have you gotten
with history and geography?
Do you understand me?
Are you hot?
Yes, aren't you?
Yes.
The iron is only making it worse.
Maybe I won't iron Nikos' clothes.
Who's going to notice anyway?
You know what?
You could sleep in our bedroom
now that it's so hot.
Since we have air conditioning...
Rapunzel.
Once upon a time,
there were a man and a woman
who had long wished for a child.
When she turned 11,
a witch shut her up in a tower
with neither stairs nor door.
Just a little window near the top.
When the witch wanted to go up,
she stood beneath and cried:
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel,
let down your hair to me."
Rapunzel had magnificent long hair,
fine as spun gold."
Did you feed him?
Good!
Attaboy!
No, you don't have to do anything.
Get some rest.
Bye!
I love you.
"Dear Mr. Nikos,
"I live really far away,
but one day, I'll come find you.
"I told my mum, and we'll come together.
"We'll take the bus or the train.
"My mum is really pretty,
I bet you'll like her.
"You can marry her if you want
"and we can all be together forever.
"If it works out,
the three of us will be very happy.
"You will have
a young and beautiful wife,
"my mum will have a husband,
and I'll have a daddy!
"I'm also sending a drawing,
"of the three of us...
"You, me, and my mum."
I've known love aplenty
I've mated and parted
But no matter where I darted
You were always on my mind
Even in my dreams
My lips yearned for you
My soul searched for you
In secret I longed for you
How I regret all the wasted years
Before I finally found you
After waiting so long
Oh how I fear I might lose you
Because I'll never forget you
Stay by my side my love
Because I need you to know
How I fear I might lose you
How am I to forget you?
When I love you so?
My boy!
What's with the disguises?
It's his birthday today
and I'm throwing him a party.
A costume party?
How old is he?
I've never been to a party
for a 75-year-old.
Duce puts on his uniform
And his tall, feathered cap
One moonlit night
He sets out to invade Greece, poor guy!
Up in the mountains
he encounters our brave evzone
Let's put the TV on,
see what Grandpa says!
...Jack is a child
who's already grappling
with adolescence,
but he still hasn't managed
to overcome his Oedipal syndrome.
Jack isn't mature enough
to handle his blossoming sexuality.
My little rosebud,
wanna blossom with me?
I'm not ready,
I'm not mature enough to blossom!
What is this faggot talking about?
Is he a faggot?
What else would he be?
I bow at your feet.
I want you to tame me!
Grandpa, tell me a story.
Story time!
Story time!
Settle down!
Once upon a time,
there was a little boy named Jack.
He and his mother were alone
in the world
after his father died.
All they had to live on,
was a cow called Milky White.
Milky White gave plenty of milk
each and every morning.
The old man is very sick.
I can tell.
He's a total vegetable.
This is probably going to be
his last birthday.
Too bad...
Turns out, he and my mother are married.
But it's kind of make-believe.
He's gay.
You'd never guess.
My mum told me all about it.
That's why I called you.
I thought he might as well die happy.
I'll pay you.
I don't want your money.
Consider it a gift to my little brother!
He even asked my mum
to put an end to his life.
He can't stand living like this.
I wouldn't either.
But my mother can't do it.
It's a tough deal.
I'm thinking of doing it myself.
How?
With one of his guns.
I'm a little scared,
but I feel sorry for him.
I'd make it look like a suicide.
Will you help me out?
And I'm playing the accordion
And all the people gaze at me
Such a pity, birthday parties
Are only once a year
One, two,
three, go!
Well done!
Happy birthday!
...to his surprise the giant woke up,
yelling: "I'll kill you, I'll kill you!"
What's up?
None of your fucking business!
Jack started to climb down
the beanstalk as fast as he could.
When he touched the ground,
he saw the giant coming after him.
Jack grabbed an axe
and started chopping down the beanstalk.
The beanstalk toppled over.
And the giant fell with a crash.
His cries echoed through the land!
Startled by the noise,
his mother came running.
"We'll never be poor again," said Jack.
His mother embraced him.
They never lacked anything again
and they lived happily ever after!
Quick!
It's time to extinguish
the Olympic Flame.
The audience
completes this magical image.
Mum!
Open up!
Open up!
Open up!
The stadium stands
Are getting quiet...
Time of miracles
Is melting away
Farewell to you,
Our tender Misha,
Go back home
To your forest of fairy tales
...love...
With no end...
Bright and clear echo
Of the Olympics...
Forgive me.
I love you.
So much.
My little teddy bear.
The stadium stands are getting quiet
Time of miracles is melting away
Farewell to you, our tender Misha
Go back home to your forest of fairy tales
So let's wish lots of luck to each other
Let's wish kindness and love with no end
Bright and clear echo of the Olympics
Will forever be cherished and sung
Farewell to you, Moscow, farewell
Farewell, Olympic fairy tale...
SON OF SOFIA