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Soul Plane (2004)
INGLEWOOD, | CALIFORNIA, 1979
I always loved airplanes, man. Not just toys, | but real ones, too. We lived | right next to the airport. I remember my mom | would put my stroller outside while she hung clothes | on the line. My mom always told me | that someday, it would be me gettin' on | one of those planes goin' someplace better. But I guess it didn't exactly | work out that way. Final boarding announcement for Worldwide Airlines | Flight 119. I'm sorry, sir. Your dog is too big | to be on the plane. You'll have to check him. Wait. No. I usually | just put him in my bag. He's not that big. Those are the rules. | You'll have to check your dog. Or consider taking | another airline. Come on, man. - Can I just please-- | - Russ. I can't just... Come on, Dre. - Come on. | - Don't worry, sir. - We'll take good care of him. | - Please do. That's my little boy right there. See you when I get off. - Excuse me. Thank you. | - Enjoy your flight. Our in-flight movie will be | Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, starring Sandra Bullock | and Ashley Judd. Nice. That's the sound of my gat This is heat. | This album is fire. Chicken or beef stroganoff? Chicken, I'll have the chicken. Thank you. | Excuse me. - It smells good, though. | - Chicken or beef stroganoff? I'm gonna have the chicken. | I like the way that smelled. That was our last chicken. I'm afraid | I just have stroganoff. So why would you ask me | what I wanted? What's in that? Stroganoff. That beef strogie. | That wasn't half bad. It was good. Almost got a little spit on you. - Yes, you did. | - I'm sorry. Are you all right, sir? Where the bathroom? - Straight down. | - Where? Fire in the hole. Excuse me. So sorry. Come on! Hurry. | Get in there! Damn! Oh, shit! So loose. I got it. That's it. | No, it's not. This is the captain speaking. | We hit some turbulence. We ask that you | return to your seats. We've turned on | the "fasten seatbelt" sign. I didn't know | it was gonna be like that. I can't get out! | My ass is stuck! Come on. God, please, | I'm a Christian. My ass is touchin' the shit. I don't wanna die like this! | Stewardess! There's a guy locked in | the bathroom stuck on the toilet. Press the main release discharge valve-- | that should get him loose. Oh, shit. What the fuck?! Dre! No! Murderers! You killed my dog, man. | Y'all gonna pay for this! If I have to go on | every talk show in America, y'all gonna pay! Oprah, Ricki Lake, | Dr, Phil bitch! 106th and Park. | Showtime At The Apollo. I swear, | they're gonna pay for this. You don't treat people | like this. And that's what happened. What exactly | is your occupation, Nashawn? - I'm an entrepreneur. | - I see. So I guess it's fair to say | you don't have a job. No, I do-- Tell us about | some of your businesses. Any of 'em | ever make any money? - No. | - Exactly. So it would be correct to say | that you're nothin' more than a deadbeat | lookin' for a quick dollar. Right? No further questions. Wait! That's not fair. Order! Your Honor, | can I say something, please? Be brief. I watched my mom | struggle to raise me on next to nothin', | workin' for guys like you. And I always knew that | I had to make my own way, no matter what. I might not have | some fancy education or a Fortune 500 | business, but... ...I'm tryin'. My mom always told me that you can't be successful | until you try. That's all I'm doin'. Thank you, Your Honor. Will the foreman | please read the verdict? Case number 077861. Nashawn Wade | vs. Worldwide Airlines, we find for the plaintiff | and award him damages in the amount of $100 million. Order! Order! Yo, cousin! We did it, man! | We did it! Yes! What do you mean, "we"? I didn't see your ass get stuck | in no airplane toilet. Whatever, I say we blow the first | 20 mil on Rio, next 20 mil, Bangkok. I hear they can do this thing-- Muggs, you're my cousin. | I'm not gonna forget about you, or the way you looked out for me | when we was growin' up. I'm not gonna let you convince me | I'm fuckin' this money away. You still on that | strip club/daycare center thing? Shit was genius. Come on. It was genius, Muggsy? | To who? We lost all our damn money | in a week. We gonna do it straight | this time, all right? I wanna do something | I can be proud of. Whatever it is, I'm in. There he is, Mr. Wade? How does it feel to be | the recipient of such a large reward by the court? I mean, it feels good, ya know? | Justice has been served. But I tell you what, I'd trade all that money in | to get back my dog Dre. Nashawn, how's the ass? The ass is fine, | It is sittin' on $100 million, Mr, Wade, can you tell us | what you intend to do with all that money? I'm gonna start my own airline. | No further questions. Muggs, take care of that, please. What is this-- | BET's "How I'm Living"? I'd like to give a shout-out | to all five of my babies' mamas. High five, Laquifa. | I'm comin', girl. Yes, Lord! | Everybody. $100 million! Relax. Thank you. Wait a minute. | You the only sister. You can't say nothin'? What in the hell | is taking her so long? Relax, honey. She has arthritis. She's, like, 200 years old. I know. It's great. Ready? Go. Mr. Hunkee? - Yes. | - I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that your flight 114 | to JFK has been canceled. Oh, for the love of-- But the good news is | we've been able to find another airline that can | accommodate you this evening. Would you be interested | in another airline? - Even Dad thinks you're cute. | - Get off me! - You're such a whore. | - What did you say? Did I stutter? There you are. Four tickets for flight 069 | on NWA. What you're going to want to do | is go to Gate One-- that's Terminal X--and we'll send | your luggage on down for you. - Thank you for your help. | - You're quite welcome. - Good luck. | - Thanks. Hey, sweetie. Don't get it greasy. | It's very expensive. I know, I bought it. Now, a gentleman always | carries a lady's bags. - So why are you carrying hers? | - Be kind, son. If I play my cards right, | she'll be your future mother figure. That's scary. Ooh, hey, sweetie. | Wait a minute. Don't look back | and not say anything. Excuse me. | You got to move, lady. Baby, come here. | Gimme a second. Girl, you must not know | who I am. Nashawn Wade, baby. | I own NWA. The boss. Where the hell is Terminal X? Relax, honey. Didn't we just have | a great vacation in Crackerland? No, we didn't-- | give me that stupid hat. Leave it! You know what would've | been great? Going to Hawaii alone. Listen, you know the deal. I only get to see my kids | every other weekend. Billy, where's your sister? She's that way. Great. Heather, you can't just | walk away from the family. If you want to go somewhere, | you gotta ask permission first. Dad, I'm 18 years old. Sorry. She's 17. You are 17. Fine. For a couple more hours. | I am 17, and then I'll be 18. Then I can party and have sex. - Sex?! No, no. | - Yeah, sex. Missionary, doggie-style, | rockin' the baby, gettin' tea-bagged, playin' the trombone | while I'm tossin' his salad, hand jobs, ear jobs, | blow jobs. Gettin' a pearl necklace, | ridin' the bologna pony... - sucking-- | - That's enough! - Did she say bologna? | - I don't know. ...whenever I want, and best of all, | I won't have to listen to you. Can you believe that? What came after | getting tea-bagged? Something about the trombone. Okay, everybody, | congratulations! You guys have been punk'd! There's cameras everywhere, | right, son? We'll be back in five minutes | with the release forms. Let's go. Oh, shit! Awesome! - Terminal Malcolm X? | - Yeah. Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. | Usually you gotta go to two places, - but there you get the one-- | - This is a terminal? It's great, 99 cents. Everything. Oh, check out the car. This place has every-- | there's a basketball court. In your face! Get your short ass on, | you leprechaun. Look like my ex-- | short and stupid. Everything's short. I don't know about all that, but if Denzel walked his fine | sexy ass in here right now, I'm takin' the rest of the day off and gettin' straight down | with the get down. You know what I'm sayin'? Girl, let me tell you, | Denzel is nice, but I like the young thugs. I love me some 50 Cent, baby. Ooh, Shaniece. Go, Shaniece! It's your birthday. We gonna party | like it's your birthday. Sip Bacardi | like it's my birthday. And you know we don't | give a fuck it's not my birthday! Look at this little nigga here. Look more like five cent. Nigga, can't you read? The sign says put | all metal objects in the container. Take your ass off. | Get on back there! Get your ass back there. Cheap ass. Shit goin' off 'cause that shit cheap. | That's why it's goin' off. My flow, my show | bought me the dough that bought me | all my fancy things. My cribs, my cars, | my pools, my jewels. Nigga, I done came up | and I ain't changed. Hold it! You keep fuckin' up | on my rhymes. Move it along, nickel. You wanna say somethin'?! I ain't slapped a bitch | in two weeks. Yeah, I got a whole lot | of strength in the slap-a-bitch arm. They had a whole bunch of dirty | magazines--bathing suit issues. Damn! So you like that, huh? | You gonna love this. Hold those for me, I won't be | needing those on this flight. Girl, what you got me-- The sweet smell of Aliz. - Hunkee? Elvis Hunkee? | - Yeah. Karl Malone? I used to play | basketball with you in high school. That's right. We used to call you | "The Paperboy." Yeah, that was then. | I'm "The Mailman" now. That's good. My dad's a mailman, too. | Government jobs pay very well. You don't understand, | I play for the Lakers now. Right, Karl. I don't think | you understand. I used to play with you, man. | You can't shoot, remember? That's why we never | passed you the ball. I thought it was because | I was the only brother. No, Karl. It's 'cause you sucked! Oh, I sucked? What are you gonna do-- | go all "postal" on me, Mr. Mailman? My man, what's goin' on, baby? Ah, that's nice. | That's real nice. I'd like to be them jeans. | Make no sense. Excuse me. | How you doin', man? Can I get through here, | sweetie? What's goin' on, fellas? | My man. When the buzzer pop, nigga, | you stop! Do y'all know who I am? We don't give a damn | about who you are. Let your little ass | take one more step... ...we'll bury your ass in them fake-ass | iguana shoes you're wearin'. Ladies, it's me. It's Nashawn Wade, | owner of this airline. Come on, remember. | I hired y'all. - It's him. | - There ya go. That's a little more like it. | Thought you had amnesia. Yes, it is him! You that little nigga got his ass | caught in a toilet seat. All right, little player, go on, take | your little cute rich ass on through. Go ahead, little player. Bet that ass still tight, | ain't it? Shit, bitch. I hope we don't lose | our benefits over this. We sorry, Mr. Wade! My tooth is hurtin'. And it's fuckin' | with your breath, girl. Upsettin' all my insides here. Don't you say shit else | for a year. You done melted the whole side-- That's what you get | for fuckin' us up. I'll tell ya, I knew I shoulda got | the new Aerostar. Check out the safety rating. I'm a little nervous. I heard someone say | this is the first flight for this airline. It has five cup holders. Honey, the FAA, they're very strict | about who they let fly an airline. It's gonna be okay, believe me. Yeah, I know, but I think we're | the only white people on the plane. Girlfriend, like your bag. Honey, no, we're not. You ain't gonna pick me up?! Maybe it's a coincidence, | you know, like a family reunion? Million Man March? Hey, what are you... | Hey, stop that! Yeah, what up, son? Yeah, yeah. | You know I'm like that. I'm like that. Damn. What up? Here's your card, Dad. | I think I melted the sucka. Put everything on it | but an Escalade. I'm a holler at the shorty | I saw at the basketball courts. One love, dawg. Where's my son? - How you doin'? | - I'm good. You doin' good? | You feel wonderful. - Yeah. All right. | - Hey. whoa! That's my zipper! And that's too loud | for a zipper. I don't know | what you got in there, but we gonna find out. - I got a plane to catch. | - Come with me. Did you hear me, boy?! I bet you ain't never seen | a chocolate super-deluxe woman like me before. Have you? No, I got a plane to catch. | I gotta go! Where do you think | you're goin', player? I'm gonna get on-- We feds now, | which means I can violate every last one | of your civil rights. Now drop them drawers... | Denzel. Denzel? Look, lady. | I just want-- Drop them drawers! Show me that ass, nigga! Now turn around. Cavity check! Girl, there was duct tape | and peanut butter everywhere. I told him, I don't care | if you are a diplomat. I don't bend into that position. Girl, I ain't no circus freak. | This ain't Cirque du Soleil. He's a fool. Mi vida, | you did the right thing. Mi primo tried that once. The doctors still can't find | his left nut. They say it's up there | somewhere. Give me his address. | I'll find it. Hey, Muggsy! Flame, not now. Where's the pilots | you hired, man? - Come on, dawg-- | - It's not come on now. We're supposed to take off | in 20 minutes. Calm down, Little Bow-Wow. He'll be here, all right? - There he go right there. | - Who, him? - Yeah, him. | - Right there? - Right there. | - Him? - Him right there? | - Yeah, him right there. I told you to hire | a black pilot, not no black baggage handler. | What is that? I did what | you asked me to, okay? There ain't but two | black pilots around, and one of 'em flyin' for Puffy. How'd Puffy get that one? - Don't worry. | - You're right, I'm just nervous. I got his resum right there. | My dawg, what's up, baby? What's goin' on, Muggs? | How you been? What's up, man? - How are you, man? | - Ain't nothin' to it but do it. Nashawn, Captain Mack. | Captain Mack, Nashawn. My pleasure, brother. Hey. You're late, man. Don't worry about me bein' late. I'm gonna take this hooptie of yours | up another 1,000 feet, catch me a slipstream, and we | gonna be there five minutes early. Real slick like hair grease, | but with less mess. - Can you dig it? | - Hell, yeah, I can dig it. You really gonna do that? No, I'm just fuckin' with ya. Y'all two know each other? | He was fuckin' with me. Muggs, I'm really | not playin' right now. I'm not, Muggs. I was lookin' at | your resum, man. I see that you flew | in Desert Storm. - That's pretty impressive. | - Actually, that's a typo. I drew over in Desert Storm. I'm sorry. I didn't.. | what you say? I was the nigga that drew | the little sayings on the bombs: "Fuck Iraq." "Saddam, eat a dick." | That was me. Secret agent. Matter of fact, I ain't even | 'posed to be talkin' about that. That's classified. What the fuck?! Do you even | know how to fly a plane, man? I got my wings when I got out. Got your wings | when you got out? You right. Plus I ain't really got | another choice right now. Where's your uniform? You lookin' at it. The Mackin' is crackin'. | This is how I come. I don't wear no square suits. I'm a player. | We ride spinners. Ride spinners | and you write on bombs. That's classified. I'm gonna tell you what. Get us there safe. | Can you do that? You somethin' else, Muggs. | Drew on bombs. - Excuse me, man, | - Yes, sir. That's about a bitch. - Where the cockpit at? | - You got that bong? Whole bag of it, Preach. - I gotta go. | - Do I pay you to talk on the phone? Look at the captain. | He is too cute. Hi, Captain. - At ease, ladies. | - Hi, fly boy. I just love the look | of a man in uniform. 'Course, I like the look of a man | out of uniform even better. This is some cool shit | fit for a real nigga. Hey, what's poppin', | my aeronautical hustlers? Captain Mack, | reporting to duty. How you doin'. Captain? | I'm Riggs. your flight engineer. Have you ever met Gaeman? I just seen one of them | fruity motherfuckers in the hallway. Nigga was eyeballin' me. It's Gaeman, I am Leslie Gaeman, | your copilot. What's happenin'? It's a very prestigious | African name-- not like "gay man," | two men fucking together, naked, - in a bedroom. Not me. | - Whatever, homey. I like pussy like you. - I can dig it. | - Yeah, you can dig it. Everybody will be pregnant | by the end of this flight. Hello. First class. | Right this way, big daddy. Welcome to NWA. Hi. How's everybody? Good. Wow, this is great! Oh, y'all are in low class. - What? | - Low class, straight back. This is nice, too. Dad, this actually | isn't that bad. What kind of UPN operation | is this? It's not so bad. All right, here we are. Row 1 7 Chrysler. | Honey, you sit here. Thank you. - Do I have to sit... | - How you doin'? You're gonna have to, okay? | Thank you. Let's please | put the divider down. Do you have an "off" switch? | You need to lower the volume. Man, you give a black man | some money, this is how the airline's | gonna look--plush, laid. It's makin' me feel sexy | already. This is a sexy plane. They got it chromed out | with the white leather. I think this is alligator butt. Yeah, this is nice. Little treat for you | before the plane takes off, daddy, 'cause you treat me so right. You nasty! Can I help you, sir? Everything's okay, | I'm just trying to find my seat, Boy, this a nice plane. Nice cushion they got | on these new planes. This must be | one of them 777's. 7574327. Where my seat? 777. The president | should fly on this plane. - Hello, sir. | - Hey, baby, how you doin'? - I'm gonna show you to your seat. | - That's nice of you, cutie pie. - Here we are. | - Let me shake your hand. Come here. Oh, boy! | That's nice. Look at that. Boy, I can just hear everything. It's so beautiful in here. | Wait a minute. Somebody got | some nice perfume on. Is that | Victoria Don't Tell Nobody? - No. | - Is that Boujeronee? Not Boujeronee either. I like the people | that don't talk back. Hard to get, I like that. Cabin attendant? Yes, sir? Howdy do. | Where are you, baby? There you are. Get me a quadruple cognac | and a cola back. You know, I'm scared to fly. | I'm used to ridin' buses. My little nephew | sent me on first class, because I'm a player. You smell good, too. I'm gonna have me some fun | on this plane here. Okey-dokey. So you're | gonna be in... You're gonna go ahead | to low class, okay. - He tasted like chocolate. | - No way. My God, what's going on? Get the fuck out! What is he doing? | Watch him. Y'all better get his ass! You ain't goin' nowhere | without us, Osama. If you gots to go | to the bathroom, we goin' with you. She holdin' | and I'm shakin', player. - That's right. | - It's cool, y'all. We got this. We security up in here. | Look straight. - Hi. | - Hey. This first class is incredible. Girl, this plane is off the hook. | Have you seen the owner? He's young, black, and from | the pictures I've seen, he looks so good. I'm sure he's great. - Please direct your attention to the screen in front of you | for a safety video. What is this? Now that you got on our plane | and you be listenin' You better just do as we say | or you'll be missin' Better put your seatbelt on | or you'll be dyin' If the plane goes crazy, | then you will not be flyin' Now we direct you to | the nearest locations Where you might desire | to exit your vacations If we lose the pressure, | you'll be chokin' Or if there's a fire, | then you'll be smokin' The oxygen we will be providin' This some black shit here. You're a survivor - Here we go. | - There we go. You're a survivor, | you'll keep on flyin' You're a survivor, | you don't go down there Honey, what is this? You're a survivor, | you not be dyin' You're a survivor, | you'll keep on flyin' You're a survivor, | you don't go down there You're a survivor, | you got your fair share You're a survivor Whoo, you're a survivor There's the owner right there. Hello, everybody. | Welcome to NWA Airlines. Here at NWA, safety is | a very important part of flying, but let's be real. If something goes wrong, | we're all going down, right? Is that supposed to be funny? I'm just kiddin'--I'm playin'. That's why it's our policy | that fun comes first. So please, sit back, relax, | and enjoy your flight. You're a survivor. You are. Come on, now, stop it. You got a brother | feelin' like the president. God bless America. Giselle? I gotta get outta here. Giselle, wait. Giselle, can you | wait a minute, please? What, Nashawn? What do we possibly | have to talk about? Wow, I mean, you look great. How you been? I've been fine. Just fine. Is that all? Actually, no, I mean. | I was doin' some thinkin'. and I wanna talk to you. Can I at least talk to you? Giselle, where you gonna go? | The door is closed. What's this? Someone stepped up, | Nashawn. I'm engaged. Hey, baby. It's not | a good time right now. There's no easy way | for me... for me to say this... What? This isn't workin' for me | anymore. What's not workin'? - This is gettin' way too serious. | - What are you talkin' about? I can't do this anymore. - I can't. | - No. You got change of a 50, man? - Not right now, Muggs. | - Not now? What's his problem, man? Oh, boy. Hey, hey, there, Blanca. I was wondering if I could | trouble you for a drink. Ain't no drink down there. Hell there ain't. I don't know if I ever | told you this, but I speak a little Espaol. Really? Testicles, one, two. Hey, y'all, what's crackalackin'? This is your soul plane chauffeur, | Captain Antoine Mack speaking. He sounds nice. Welcome aboard NWA flight 069 from the 310 | to the 212. It's time | to bust this corner, y'all. In a hot second, I'll be hittin' them switches and gettin' this bitch | pumpin' and jumpin'. What?! So screw your shit on tight | and enjoy the flight. What did he say? He was just saying that we'll be | leaving in a couple of seconds, so put your seatbelt on, | make sure they're tight. Amateurs. - Why didn't he say so? | - Exactly. Yo, Gaeman, why don't you | go secure the cockpit, homey? Yes. Right away. This motherfucker is locked. Fred G. Sanford, my nigga. And the "G" is for | goin' places. Can you dig it? Now we ready to roll. Nigga got switches | in this motherfucker. Shit. And they work. What? This motherfucker hot, cuz. - Oh, my God! | - Bounce with me. This motherfucker's fucked up. - Like a elephant. | - Yeah. Bounce, bounce. I have the perfect music | for this. Yes, I have it right here. Hey, man, hold on, man. - Hold the fuck on. | - Like elephant. No, man, you gotta | turn that bullshit off. We can't be ridin' | to that bullshit, man. Don't insult my music. We ridin' to some gangsta shit. | Pop that in, man. Captain don't wanna hear | that Zimbabwe ah-wah-wah shit. Get that shit out. | Get it the fuck outta here. I'm the captain | of this motherfuckin' ship. Captain, what the hell | is wrong with you? Man, I'm afraid of heights. Afraid of heights?! Hit her with a bat, | hit her with a bat Hit her with a whoo-whoo - Easy, Kobe. She's 17. | - Dad, I'm 18. Honey, I'm gonna | excuse myself - and go to the restroom. | - Okay. I think I'm gonna go | check out the plane. Is that all right? - Why are you so nice to me? | - Stay for a while. Oh, my sweet black Jesus! Hey, good evenin'. I didn't know | anybody was in here. - I'll come back later. | - Why? I'm still gonna be here. I tell you what. You take care of your business, | I take care of mine. I just don't feel comfortable, | I'll just hold it. You don't want to do that. That stuff back up on you, | top of your head fly clean off. Sit down, | make yourself at home. I'm sorry. We don't get that many of y'all | on the plane. For those with no junk | in their trunk. That is a nice vest. I ain't seen one of them | since Lionel and the Jeffersons. What ever happened to Lionel? | I thought he was-- Would you mind? Oh, I'm sorry. | Little fella kinda shy? Goddamn! Sorry. I guess you can't have lightnin' | without the thunder. Somebody still likes | that pork, I see. I think this was a false alarm. | I'm gonna go back to my seat. The paint is peeling. That must be a big one. Yeah, it's big. I've got just the thing. I can't believe that | this is you. So you subscribe to | "Black & Proud"? This is the first time | I've picked it up. Yeah, it was freezin' | that day. Really? You could never tell that | from the picture. Why, thank you. Usually, the problem is, I'm hangin' | out the bottom of my boxers. Oh, my goodness. Hi. I think you're in my seat. Oh, hi, honey. | This is Jerome. Hi. Hello. Jerome was telling me about how he | hangs out the bottom of his boxers. That's nice. They're about to serve dinner, so you might want | to go back to your chair. Oh, yeah. You're right. Yeah. It was nice meetin' you. It was nice meeting you, too, Barbara. Nice meeting you, too, Jerome. Bye. Hangin' out | the bottom of his boxers-- My God, is that him?! - That thing has a face on it, | - No, but it's gonna. Are you all right, sir? Course, I'm all right, | I'm a G, ain't I? I will make the announcement. No, you won't. | Give me this motherfucker. I'm makin' the announcement. | I'm the captain. Ladies and gentlemen, we have | reached our cruising altitude of 33,000 feet, 33,000 feet?! Oh, shit, man. We fuckin' higher | than Redman at the Source awards. Shit don't make | no motherfuckin' sense to be this high, cuz. Man, I feel sick. Oh, fuck. Ain't this some shit? What the hell's goin' on here? This nigga's afraid of heights. How you gonna be afraid | of heights if you the captain? I ain't never | been off the ground before. We've flown computer | simulators. You told me you got your wings | when you got out the Air Force. No, I didn't. I told you I got my wings | when I got out. When I got out of Pelican Bay | State Corrections Facility. It was either get a GED | or take a pilot class. You learned how to fly | in the prison? Hey, man, don't get mad | 'cause I spent your money to get a good education. Shit, me and my homeboys | passed the class with flying colors. Let me see. - I miss them niggas, man. | - Those are his niggas. The Taliban. I'm gonna tell you what. Y'all better fix it. | Gay-man, Captain Mack-- It's Gaeman! I don't give a damn. | Fix it. I'm no bitch, you understand? | It's Gaeman. You gonna be a gay man. | Fix it. Put this shit on autopilot. I'm goin' to the lavatory. | I got to boo-boo. - What ya doin'? | - I'm countin' my tips. - Tips from where? | - Back there, ...low class motherfucker. Hey, nigga! Oh, boss man. Hey, man, you mind | if I get in here? Come on. Hold on. Got a new shooter. - One shot, baby, you in? | - No. Nigga, is ya in? What? - You said I could run business class, right? | - Yeah, I did. So I'm runnin' this motherfucker | like Vegas on fight night. We got a cockfight | we settin' up in ten minutes. Cockfight?! I'm in. No. Let me tell you over here. I don't even want | everybody in my business. Hold me down. - What's up, cuz? | - You know what? I'm not even gonna make | a scene in here. I'm goin' back | to the front of the plane. When I get back here, | I want this to be business class. - Okay. You got it, man. | - You can do that for me? My man. Thank you, Muggs. Would you like | champagne or wine? We'll have champagne. Would you like Moet or Cristal? Motit...et. Moet. All right. I know you have a drinking problem, | so please drink slow. That's for you. And sir, | please don't swallow your ice. That's all I can afford | to give you. Hello. Would you like Colt .45 | or Aliz? Maybe you could explain to us | what those are. My pleasure, sir. Colt .45 tastes like | liquored-up beer, and it sneaks up on you | all of a sudden. And Aliz--oh, that's my favorite. | It's from France. It's a cog-nac, it's very fruity, and it'll make you wanna do | the hucklebuck, then pass out | in your own juices. Guess I'll have that. Wise choice. Yo, player, you got a little | somethin'-somethin' for me? Yeah, I have a shorty 40. No, no. Do you have | any whole milk? Sir, that is nasty. I do have a Puerto Rican lady who's | lactatin', I'll see what I can do. Tonight, we're serving a plate | of gourmet soul food with your choice of lobster | and filet mignon or crisp duck confit, I'll have the filet, And for you, sir? I ordered a special | Kosher meal... yag-weh. Excuse me? That's fried chicken | in hot sauce. Lobster, filet mignon or duck? I'll take the fee-lan. All right, I need you to take | a breast or a leg and a wing and pass it back. Exactly. You guys, share your napkins | with your neighbor. One for every two people. | Sharing is caring. Don't get greedy. One piece. Hi. Would you like | some dessert? Boss man, low class | is outta liquor, so I thought I would | come in here and... Someone is strollin' down | memory lane. No, I'm just, you know, | checkin' on things, makin' sure they okay, | that's all. Yeah, right. I know that look. I had that same look of regret | after I ran into Lee-- my little Asian butterfly. We had a whirlwind romance | that ended in heartbreak... and stomach pumpin'. When I saw him again, | I tried to apologize, but I couldn't. I just felt so bad leaving him | in that hospital all bloated and distended. Did you just grind on me? A little. What does that sick-ass story | have to do with me? I've never left nobody | in the hospital filled with nothin'. It means, Mr. Righteous, | that if you have a chance to make things right again, | you should take it. Who knows | what could've happened? Lee had plenty ancient secret | to show me. Thank you. Flame. | Okay? You're welcome. Now, how much Colt .45 | to Sierra Mist do you mix to get bubbly? | Probably half and half. You mind if I sit down? It's your plane. It really doesn't have | to be like this. How is it supposed to be? So who's this guy? Let's just let it go, okay? I just came over here | to talk to you. You just disappeared. | I didn't even hear from you. Giselle, you were 3,000 miles away. | I tried to get in touch with you. Let's just let it go. I don't know what smells better-- | this meal or your delightful perfume. Thank you. You're too kind. You know, a lot of smart women | find blind men sexy. - You know why? | - No. But I'm sure | you're about to tell me. When you lose one sense, | it makes your other senses stronger, I have more of a sensitive touch | than the average man, Please! Let me tell you about | this love I had, She was on the trampoline, | landed right in my lap. Bang! She stayed there | for 1 5 years. People crazy about me. | People love me. - You don't say. | - Don't say? I do say it. | That's what I'm talkin' about. People love me. | See these fingers here? These fingers got eyes on 'em | just like 20/20 vision. You know what I mean? They... wait a minute. Move that other leg | out the way. Move that dress up, girl. Oh, boy, moist. | You just as tender as you can be. You a little frisky thing. | You got a little puddle here. Oh, you big, too. | You ain't no baby. This is wonderful. | I love freaky stuff like this. Just let yourself go. | I'm gonna let myself go, too. I'm feelin' something, too. This ain't like me. | I don't usually go this quick. I'm goin' now. Let me tell you. | Where my yack? I'm a player... player! - Hey, now. | - Oh, excuse me, No, it's cool, | I'm the attendant, You can sit this one out, | my brother. I'm just gonna wash my hands. Got me a wild woman | sittin' next to me and look what I got. | Bang! Stinky pinky. Stinky pinky, here you go. Hey, brother. I ain't washin' | that one, I'm washin' this one. She usin' cilantro. | I love that freaky shit. The only way you got | stinky pinky is if you was sittin' next to | Miss Potato Head. There's always some dude | who's a player hater 'cause he ain't gettin' none. Just 'cause you blind don't mean | I won't whip your ass. Lookin' like a disco lemon. | Son of a bitch! All right, you suit-and-tie-wearin' | motherfuckers. A little green | gets you in between. The more dough, | the more they show. Now, a true player | is a payer, am I right? That's what's up. We don't park collars | at NWA--we park dollars. You heard me? If you can afford business class, | you can afford some business ass. Hey, Muggs, what's goin' on? - Where? | - Here. - Here. What is this? | - It's all good up in here, baby. We got Asian persuasion, | butter pecan freakin', chocolate deluxe. I got it all | in my little shopping mall. What is it you're not gettin'? First gamblin', now this? | It's illegal, man. You with the FAA, nigga? - No. What are you talkin' about? | - Ain't no rules in the air. Listen to me. | That's not the point, man. It's a family airline. | You got ladies up in here? I sure do! Listen to me. | We not in the 'hood no more. Hey, Nashawn. Hey! What's this about? The girls just wanted | to show their appreciation for everything you've done. If you stick around for a minute. I'm sure it'd make the ladies | very, very happy. Start with this. Just like that? You're so sexy. Whoa! Slow down! Back up. Oh, my God! | Hey, move, devil. Get it together | and get it fast. You got to get off the pole. Hey, baby, watch your step. | Hey. I guess there are some things | you can commit to. You talkin' 'bout this? I'm just doin' my job, | that's all. Yeah, it looks like | you're a workaholic. And here I was thinkin' I was | too hard on you before. Guess you're the man now. Wait, Giselle. What the fuck am I doin'?! You ready for this? - Yeah. | - You ready? Oh, yeah, daddy. - You sure? | - Wait. Don't fight the feelin', baby. What the hell is you doin' | in here? That's the problem with | you young cats. You talk too much. - A woman like that... | - You do talk a lot. ...wants a man of action. I was wonderin' if you can | help my friend Ben here. He needs you to take him | back to his seat. Yeah, Ben, I believe I know | where this cat is sittin'. Dig this here. | You don't need a lot of space. Superman changed | in a phone booth. Hey, don't be... | man, don't be touchin'... Tidy Bowl man. We gonna need this right here. - Ready for this? | - Oh, yeah. Hey, what the hell is this? I seen this on an episode | of "Real Sex". - You sure about this? | - Trust me. All you gotta do | is have a safety word. You got one? Yeah, when I say. | "Get off me, you crazy bitch", you stop chokin' me. Ow! Shit! Actually, I wish you'd stop | smackin' me. You like it. - It's tight. | - It's supposed to be tight. That's why you buy me | the good shit. The belt is too damn tight! Stop your bitch-ass complainin' | and give me what you promised. I can't feel my toes! I can't feel your dick, | but I ain't complainin'. D.J., please, don't stop. | Five more seconds. Cheese, eggs, grits, chilies, | yams, sunflower seeds. No. No! No? Man, this is not the way | it happened on "Real Sex". This is some real bullshit. It was probably the turbulence and all the excituration | of the moment, 'cause I used-- You see that, David. | Did you see that, David? Why you always got to go-- I need to spank you | with the bad... I'm gonna punish him. This motherfuckin' autopilot shit | is cool as hell, man. Just kick back | and ride and glide. Relax, motherfucker. | I should be captain of this plane. Ten years with Chuku Airlines. Chuku Airlines, where we treat you | with a lot of respect. This motherfucker. Now I'm here with this nigga. Nigga, shut the fuck up with that | African mumbo-jumbo bullshit. I hear you over there | with that Chuku Airlines shit. You with NWA Airlines, | I'm the captain. - I don't care. | - Real niggas drive real shit. I should kill you. We have a birthday girl, | Captain. This is Heather Hunkee. She wanted to see | our cockpit. How old are you, Heather? I just turned 18. Is that right? Oh, boy. Attention, all players. The upper deck will be open | for your enjoyment. We have a passenger | who just turned 18 years old. Her name is Heather Hunkee. She is one cute little hottie | with a whole lotta body. Oh, yeah. She'll be upstairs, so all players | come up and keep her company. No! Hey, Virgie, how are you? | Good to see you. Yeah, I know. It's hot, right? This is hot. Let me take you to the bar. | Give me your jacket, girl. Big Boy! All my pimps, players, | and hustlers-- y'all ready to set this motherfucker | off, West Coast style? As you see, | we up in the clouds. Got a gang of lovely ladies | out there on the dance floor ready to go ahead and shake | that ass and get they freak on. To my fellas out there | who ain't got no game-- yeah, I'm talkin' to you. Don't even trip on it, | 'cause we ain't goin' nowhere. We locked in this bitch for | four more hours till we touch down, so you might as well go ahead | and get your swerve on. - Marshall, good to see you. | - It's good to see you. This is Heather. | She's turnin' 18 today. Happy birthday. - Thank you. | - Captain Mack is buyin' her her first drink. What can I get for you? Surprise me. I got just what you need. Girl, he is cute! I know. He's a looker. He'll hook you up. Cool! All right, have a good time. | I gotta go back downstairs. Keep an eye on her. Oh, I will. Not that kind of eye. It's Big Boy. What's goin' down, y'all? We gonna keep | this motherfucker crackin' until everybody in here | pass the fuck out. Yeah, this is my joint | right here. - Who'd you come here with? | - Don't worry about that. - Please, Captain, I just-- | - Hey, nigga! What part of "you ain't flyin' | this motherfuckin' plane" don't you understand? Sit back and enjoy the ride, | Idi Amin. What are you doing? | You fool! Any motherfuckin' dry ass | mushrooms of yours ain't gettin' me high | no motherfuckin' way. You need to fuck with the white boys. | They shit potent. White boys, American shit. This is African mushrooms, | very dangerous. They can kill you! You ate 15 of them! | These are topical, for the skin. I crush them up, | and I put them... ... for my itching. Motherfucker, you got crabs?! This man got crabs. You ain't | sittin' in the pilot's seat for sure. Ha ha, keep laughing. | It's not funny. African crab is very aggressive. They hunt us. They can kill you. That motherfucker | is crazy as fuck, man. They dangerous, | and they kill you. Fuck! That Gaeman! Excuse me. Motherfucker, | did you just touch me? Yeah, I wanna get up | in the club. - You on the list? | - What list? The goddamn guest list. - Are you on it? | - I don't know. You don't know? | What's your name? Elvis Hunkee. I wouldn't even have wrote | no shit down like that, homey. Maybe it's under The King, 'cause my friends, | they call me "The King". It's my nickname. I ain't your friend, | and you ain't no king, motherfucker. Right. Move! I'm talkin' to you. What's up? Go right in. All right, put 'em up. It's go time. It's definitely go time, | motherfucker. You about to get | the best damn ass-whippin'. I hope the little bitch | you're lookin' for is worth dyin' for. She is, 'cause that little bitch | is my daughter. Your daughter? Why didn't you say | that shit, man? I got five daughters, man. The little one, Trina, | every time I see her. she just runs into my arms, | like, "Daddy. Daddy!" We have little tea parties | and shit. The little cups, and I put | the little hat on. Little table, man. | It was so beautiful. My heart would, like, explode. Yeah, I need to go upstairs. - I miss my babies. | - I miss mine, too. She's upstairs. I never see them. | I'm always busy securin' shit. - Honest living. | - I never see 'em, dawg. Secure your shit. Secure your shit. | Go get your girl, man. Go get your little girl. Take care of your family, man! Who's on the list? Yo, Captain. I got to go | drain the monster. What the hell's taking | Gay-man so long? I don't know, I ain't his mama. Matter of fact, | why don't you page him and tell him to bring | his bitch ass up here 911. Attention, Gay-man. Attention, Gay-man, | I have to go drain the monster. Return to the cockpit | immediately. Man, I wouldn't answer | that shit if I was you, homey. Shake it up real fast | then stop Shake it up real fast | then drop Shawty crunk on the floor | wide open Skeet so much, | they call her Billy Ocean Roll like a 18-wheeler That... fine, | but this... killer Leakin', she soakin' wet - Muggsy, what are you doin'? | - Cut! Who the hell said cut? Yeah. Who the hell said cut? | The director says cut. Damn! Look, Nashawn. | I already know, dawg. Come here. | Is that the Ying Yang Twins? Yeah. Watch out. | Ying Yang Twins! What's up, baby? Don't drink gasoline. | We got a bar. I had a gold tooth. | I shoulda kept it for this. Why y'all stop rollin'? 'Cause you came in. No, don't stop on account of me, | I'm the owner. Nashawn Wade--that's me. | I'm the boss of this. - Hey, roll camera! | - Who said roll camera? I say roll camera. - That's my job. | - That's his job. Chris, I'm tellin' ya, we need | more sexy in this video. Let's go, Tamika. | Get in there. This cool? - Yes, sir. | - Tamika, let's get in there. Get on in there, girl. Yo, Chris, I'm tellin' ya, man. We need more ass in this video, | and it'd be off the hook. Yo, Muggsy, who is this kid? Roll camera. - Here you are, sir. | - Thank you. Lil' John back there. | Shake it like a salt shaker! Can I get a glass of Hypno | with some ice, please? - Coming right up. | - What you doin' by yourself? - Go have a good time. | - No, thanks. - You okay? | - No. So what's goin' on? My son Billy--he doesn't | want to be anything like me. He says I got no flavor. My daughter Heather-- | she's growin' up so fast. It seems like yesterday | I was teachin' her to ride a bike. Now she's out there... Hey, what is tea-bagging? That's the shit! That's where you take your balls | and dip 'em in a freak mouth. you keep goin' | up and down like... - Then you dip, right. | - I got it. Thank you. I got a little carried away. Gettin' back on the subject-- | you raise your kids right, eventually they gonna | wanna move on and find they own path. You're probably right. | You're a lucky man, Nashawn. I wouldn't say that. It took me gettin' everything | I ever wanted to realize I lost | the best thing I ever had. What was her name? - Giselle. | - That's a beautiful name. Bet she's beautiful. Very. Very! Still love her? Course I do. Then go do somethin' | about it. Listen, when I met | my Barbara. I knew that moment I'd move | heaven and earth to be with her. I knew that she was worth it. So you happy now? Not really. Last time I saw her, | she was with this tall model type. A real handsome black guy? Yeah. Sittin' in low class? Yeah. Got a dick like a fire hose? Yeah. Yeah, you lost her. - Can he get another one? | - Double. Have you talked to her? She can't talk. | She must have vocal cord damage. I can believe it. Man, if my baby mama page me | one more time, I swear to God... What she want? This motherfuckin' bitch wants | some more child support money 'cause she heard I got this job. I can't believe these hos | nowadays. She extortin' you? | That's messed up, man. But you know what? If I crash this motherfucker | into a mountain right now, the bitch can't get | shit from me. Watch this. Oh, shit! Shit, my nigga! | Oh, shit! Hold on, cuz! - Oh, shit! | - Here we go. That shit was funny as hell. I know they trippin' | off this shit in the back. You fuckin' high, dawg. | You startin' to scare me now. Here ya go. I'm gonna bounce before | Gay-dude and Riggs come back. All right, my nigga. I'm put this bitch on autopilot | so I can enjoy myself. Captain Mack need to kick back and enjoy this | motherfuckin' situation. Oh, shit. | Last mushroom. Might as well go on | and take this to the head. Dry-ass mushroom, | African motherfucker. Here you are, sir. Oh, hey, that's my dad. | I need to talk to him. Hi, Daddy. Happy birthday, Heather. You mad at me? No, Actually, I'm just glad to hear | you call me daddy for a change, It's been a while, Usually it's shithead or asshole | or something, I'm sorry. It's just | I hate that you're with Boobra. Barbara... and I | are not together anymore. I'm still upset that | you and Mom aren't together. I'm sorry about that, honey. But your mom's | with Dorothy now. I'd like to be with your mom. Hell, I'd love to be | with your mom and Dorothy. But that's not important. What's important is that you know | that I'm your dad, and whether you're 18 or 48 or 88, | I'm gonna still protect you because I love you. I love you, too, Daddy. I'll always be your little girl. Right. I will. What about | all that stuff tonight? Oh, don't worry. | I didn't do anything. Really? I was just saying stuff | to get you mad. I don't even know | what half that stuff is. What's tea-bagging anyway? That's when you | get down on top... Dad! Apparently, it's the shit. | Come here. So can I have | another blow job? It's a drink. It's cool. Look, baby. I'm sorry, | and I wants to make it up to you. Don't get it started because you | know you're not gonna finish. Why you bringin' up old shit? | Let me see them tits! Okay, okay! What's the plan? Hold on one second. | I'm fixin' to be right back. Good evening, Cap. | Is it cool if I come in? This is tight up in here, dawg. I'm not gonna | beat around the bush, man. I'll get straight to the point. Me and my girl--we overly ambitious | members of the mile-high club. I was wondering if you would | let us come in here, and, we could, like, do it. All right, cool. I'm fixin' to get her. You probably gonna see | her titties and everything, man. I'll be right back, dawg. Hey, this is my girl. Hi, Captain. I know you got stuff to do, so we just gonna | do our thing, man. Yeah, it's cool. Okay, okay. No, no. | Ain't that my game. Ooh, yeah. | I like the way you doin' that. Ooh, work it, daddy. I'm tryin', but it's like | a sauna down here, It's like a fire,,, - How's that? | - Oh, it's good, daddy. You the king. Tastes like chocolate puddin'. Gots to have you right now. - Got to have you right now, girl! | - Nasty fool! Oh, shit. That nigga dead! | He dead! Get your ass off me! He's dead! This nigga's dead! This nigga's dead! The captain is dead! Pork chop grease. I'll take care of it. | The captain's dead! That's our motto: | we fly, we party, we land. That's what we tryin' | to do, man. Nashawn, we gotta talk. I want to talk to you, too. The captain is dead. Dead? Wait a minute. | Are we talkin' Tupac dead. Iike maybe he is | or maybe he isn't, or Wilt Chamberlain dead, like | he ain't checkin' back in the game? Dead like he can't | fly this plane, dead. People are freakin' out. It's Muggsy | hirin' these prison pilots. You know what. | That's what we got a copilot for. All we gotta do is find Gaeman, | because I hired him. He's a professional, | and we should be cool. Yes, counterclockwise. | Move your ass, baby. Don't forget to squeeze | my nipple like a cow. Would you like to see | my African walking stick? Hey, hey, Gaeman. Oh, my God. Move over! | How are you, sir? I was taking a bath, I was dirty. | You are clean now, ladies. I got an emergency, | I need you to fly the plane. The plane? Yeah. - Me? Fly the plane? | - Yes. Oh, my God! | I get to fly. They will have a parade! Go, Gaeman! | Move out the way! Move, you bitches! | I have to fly the plane. What's wrong with you? Oh, shit! He fell hard. Gaeman! God damn! What the hell am l | supposed to do now? You're gonna find some way | to land this plane. Meet me in the cockpit, okay? - Meet you? | - In the cockpit. I got one more left. Here you go. You gotta pull | one of these damn cords. I don't want this shit, man. I'm responsible | for these people. I gotta try something. Fuck them. | What are you, sick? I know you, all right? | You can't even ride a bike. How do you expect | to land this thing? It don't even-- It don't even matter. I'm not runnin' out | like I always do. I'm gonna face this shit. | If you wanna go, go. If you goin', go. | You gotta pull this one. Hey, don't be grabbin' my cord. You gonna make my chute | ejaculate prematurely, Baby, watch your head. | Don't let that touch you. - I got a dead pilot, man. | - Just go. God damn! Oh, my God! | Not like this. Listen, Giselle... | in case something happens, there's something I need | to get off my chest. That night | when you and I broke up. I was on your porch. I overheard you and your father | arguing about college. What do you mean, | you're not goin' away to college? It's too far, I want to stay here | where Nashawn is. You gotta go, I been waitin' | 18 years for this day to have the house to myself. I'm not going. You always dreamed | of going to NYU. Now they're offering you | a full scholarship. You tellin' me you're not goin' because of some little | poop butt ass nigga who can't even keep a job! Dad, I'm sorry, | but I can't leave Nashawn. I love him and he loves me. You are going to college. | You're not messin' up my plans. I didn't want you to throw | all that away because of me. I can get $200 a month | for that room. I just want you to know | that I'm sorry, Giselle. - I'm so sorry for hurting you. Leaving you was the biggest | mistake of my life. For what it's worth... I never stopped loving you. You better get in there. | You got a plane to land. Yeah. Cool. I'm cool. I got it. | I got it right now. Mayday. SOS. I said SOS. Come down, selecta. - Nashawn! | - What? Are you gonna cut a demo | or radio in? I don't know what to say. I got something. | Hello? This is Nashawn Wade, owner of NWA Airlines. Yes, sir, the black one. No, don't hang up. Hello? Can you please help us? | We got a situation here. My pilot died, and I got people | on the back of my plane asking for help and--hello? They put me on hold. Due to the high number of calls, | your estimated wait time - is 45 minutes. | - What are you doing here? We family, man. We was in this from the beginning, | we gonna ride this out to the end. That's my nigga, man. Look at my watch. | What's up, G? Excuse me. I represent three | of the four white people on board. I want to tell you fellas | we are behind you 100%. What? Hunkee, please. I'm just here to find | the little black box so I can wrap | my big, black ass around it. If I have to ride that tiny, | indestructible motherfucker 30,000 feet to safety, trust you'll hear bitch screamin'. | "Hi ho, Silver". Where's the box? I really want to thank y'all | for giving me all this confidence. - I really feel it, I do. | - You're welcome. Somebody knows | how to land this plane, this would be | the time to speak. I saw a show on | the Discovery channel, but that was about motorcycles. Take control of the plane. What? You have to disengage | the autopilot. How do you know that? I used to date this pilot, and we would make love | in the cockpit. You haven't had an orgasm | until you've had it during descent. Bitch, can you land this plane? Show me where it is, Blanca. | What is it? I don't remember. That's what I told you... I need you to go | to the back then. No, hold on. Last time I was here... Here, here! There it is. Push it. Somebody help her. Okay, I gotta grab it. Guess I had a little control | right away. I'm flyin', y'all. Okay, what's next, Blanca? I would... Yes, the flaps! The flaps! | Adjusting the flaps. What's next? I think it was... the trim. I cannot hear her. I got it. | I see what you're sayin'. What's next? I don't know. This is where | he usually pops the cork. We are so fucked! Don't panic, please. | You're gonna be okay. You can't use that phone | while we're on the plane. Girl, please, they say that | to rip you off. They want you to use | their phone. - I am calling for some help. | - No, I'm telling you. Don't be hardheaded. | Don't use that phone. Fuck that! Okay. All right. | We back on track right now. What next, Blanca? The wheels. Muggsy, pull the wheels down. Grab the wheel | and do it slow. I feel it comin' down, y'all, Oh, yes! Oh, D.J., this is it! | It's gonna happen this time, baby. We about to die, | you got me tied up down here. Damn it, I don't give a fuck. We goin' to heaven | with one last nut. Nigga, stay focused! Yeah! I'm doin' it! I told you it was the turbulence. | You don't want none of this. Here we go. We gonna land. New York, here we go! | This is it right here. That's the ground! We made it. | We gonna live. I did it. We down. You did it! | That's just what you do, cousin. Exactly what I do! You see what I'm sayin'? | I was so scared. You crazy bitch! | Fuck this airline! You know what, she was | on the way out anyway. - Forget her, baby. You did it. | - I did. Yeah, I can do that. All right, y'all | with the mushy stuff. I'm a go check on | the passengers. - Y'all just too cute. | - My boy. Maybe we should go, too. | We should check on 'em, too. All right. Come on. What a day. Wait a minute. | Hold that, sugar dumplin'. I don't know | what smells better-- the New York air | or your magnificent perfume. Why, thank you. | That's very kind of you. Wait a minute. That's an Adam's apple. I'm a player, but I don't play | that way. Floor walker! No, I... - Hey, Muggs. | - Yo, cousin. That's what I'm talkin' about. | We made it! What kind of shit-- | this is Central Park. Where is Central Park? | It's in New York, ain't it? You got JFK, LaGuardia, | Newark-- What you need an airport for, | you got all this grass? Ain't this a bitch? | This nigga is pissin' on the plane! That's your problem. | You always thinkin' on the nega-- Hell, no, I know they didn't | just steal my damn rims. That's what your punk ass get. You know how hard it is | to get 84-inch rims? That's a big-ass tire | for a little-ass plane and a short-ass nigga. Why don't you go put | a doughnut in your mouth? I am going to sue your ass, | I am gonna sue the airline... That's all you do is complain. It doesn't matter, I'm not | gonna let you spoil this for me. I tell you what, | Muggs, take everybody upstairs. Drinks on me. | Let's party! And we did party. Just like I told y'all-- | we fly, we party and we land. Pop, where'd you get | the moves from? Where do ya think | you got 'em from, son? Wow! This is the bomb! What? What did I say? | Let's dance! |
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